You opened your eyes. You appeared to be no longer in your bed. Somehow, you stood in the middle of what seemed to be a forest at night. Yet, this night had a very unusual colour to it. It was not like any other night you had seen before. The night appeared to be lavender. You could see well in this lavender darkness, albeit rather faintly. You could make out the trees from around you for at least ten feet before the darkness obscured them from view.
The trees from around you appeared to be oak trees from what you could gather. This forest looked wild and untamed. Many of the trees were covered in a thick coating of moss and vines. The forest floor was overgrown with weeds, and various plants and flowers.
Scattered throughout the area on the ground, you could see some most peculiar looking mushrooms. These mushrooms were quite large, about the size of a watermelon, and they glowed a greenish-blue colour. The cyan mushrooms helped illuminate the surrounding darkness a great deal for you. You dare not touch these mushrooms. They could be poisonous for all you know.
You were not dressed well for an adventure at night in the middle of a forest. You only wore a pair of white underpants and brown sandals. You didn’t sleep in the nude like a barbarian. It wasn't the winter, so you were fortunate. There appeared to be a mild breeze in the air, which slightly rustled the leaves of the trees above you. So, it was quite cold even during the summer to wear nothing but your underpants at night.
You remained quiet. You didn't want to scream like a little bitch. For making loud noises could draw predators to you, or something else. You looked up at the night sky to find the North Star to navigate, only to find utterly alien constellations.
The moon itself looked vastly different. You could see what appeared to be a series of unnatural craters engraved into the moon itself to form the shape of what appeared to be the head of a unicorn. It was as if an alien really liked unicorns so much they used a high-powered explosive cannon on their spaceship to blast craters on the moon as a form of graffiti. Still, you remained calm.
With nothing else for it, you walked forward. You did not know where you were going. For you had no means of navigation. You soon wished you did not walk this direction, for you came across a terrifying sight. Up ahead you saw a massive, hulking beast with the head of a lion with a pair of wings on his back and the tail of a scorpion. It appeared to be a manticore. It wore a monocle over his left eye and had a black top hat atop his head.
“Good heavens, sir! What are you doing out here at night?” came the concerned voice of the beast with a posh British accent. You sighed in relief. This apparent monster was intelligent like you, a human.
“Uh, I don’t know what happened. One minute I was asleep in bed, the next I woke up here.”
The manticore rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his right paw. “Hmm. Whatever the case, I’ll lead you to Ponyville. You shall be safe there. It’s just a little west of here.”
You decided to trust the manticore. Your journey was uneventful as you followed the beast to apparent safety. Fortunately, your trip was rather short. Already, you could see the signs of civilization in the distance. There were lights up ahead. Nonetheless, the manticore escorted you to the edge of the forest.
“There you go, chap. You should be safe now. Can you make your way from here? Or do you need help?” he asked.
“Nah, I think I’ll be okay.”
“Righto, I’ll be off then.”
The manticore walked away, leaving you alone to venture forth in what appeared to be a town, at least from what you could gather at night. You could see what appeared to be a large castle in the shape of a tree at the edge of the town. You assumed this was the authority of the town, thus you made your way over to this building.
As you approached, you came across a pair of large golden doors. A few golden steps as part of a front stoop lead up a small platform on which the golden doors lay. You walked up the steps and knocked on the door. At first, nothing happened. All you could hear was the quiet blowing of the wind, before you could hear what appeared to be the sound of clopping hooves against stone.
“Hello? Who is it?” came a wonderful feminine voice from behind the door.
“Sorry to disturb you. But I need help. I don’t know where I am and it’s cold, and–” as you spoke a deep pink glow came wrapped around the door. There then came a soft click, and the door opened before you.
A short purple unicorn with wings on her back came into view standing in front of you. She must have only been about four and a half feet tall or so. She possessed a pair of comically large purple eyes. However, her snout was not very typical of a horse, it was much shorter. Quite frankly, the alien horse was absolutely adorable. When the adrenaline of being in danger wore off, this place you found yourself in seemed cartoonish in nature. You could only assume that you became reanimated into a cartoon.
Her purple eyes glowed in the dark like that of a cat’s. The mare tilted her head to the side, her floppy ears flickering cutely. “Oh, hello. You must be cold without fur. Come in. The living room is just to your left.”
You shrugged and came to walk inside. As instructed, you walked to your left through an archway, and then you found yourself in a large library. You made to sit down on a soft, pink love heart shaped folded couch, which lay situated directly in front of a blooming fireplace with an unusual glowing deep pink flame.
Your friendly equine host came to sit herself down next to you on your right. Her hooves did not touch the floor, unlike your feet. She curled up into a ball like a cat. She looked up at you with her big purple eyes, with a most curious look on her face.
“I've never seen a human like you before. You seem less colourful than the ones I saw in the mirror. Your eyes are so much smaller.”
You sighed in relief. “Oh, I’m glad. I don’t need to explain much then.”
“Well, I would like you to explain a little at some point. You seem to be a different subspecies of human to the ones I’ve seen. You're like a pale naked mole-rat.” You frowned at her. The mare gasped, bringing a hoof to her mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to insult you.”
“It’s okay. By the way, my name is Anon.”
She didn't seem very impressed by your name, judging by the frown coming upon her face. “Oh, that's an okay name, I guess. I was just expecting something with a little more flare. Anyway, my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. But you can just call me Twilight. I’m an alicorn, a rare breed of a pony. I was once just an ordinary unicorn.”
“Okay, Twilight. Before we talk, can I go use the toilet real quick?”
Twilight blinked at your question, tilting her head to the side with a curious look on her face. “Uh, what is this toilet you speak of? I never heard of it.”
You then came to realise you did not seem to need to use the bathroom anymore. You now just wanted to visit it and have a look at yourself in a mirror to see if you were a cartoon character or not. The apparent no need to use the bathroom led to other questions.
“Uh, the bathroom then?” you asked.
“Oh, yes. We have those. We have a nice sink and shower you can use.”
“But no toilet?”
“I don’t know what a toilet is. Is that some sort of human thing?”
Against your better judgement, you decided to reach your right hand down through your underpants to feel your genitalia. Only to find it was completely absent. Alarmed, you pulled down your underpants to see your crotch was featureless. You stared in horror at what you saw, and your body began to tremble.
“Are you okay?” came Twilight’s voice, ripe with concern.
“No! My penis is gone!” you shouted in panic. You looked up to stare at Twilight for answers. Only to find she looked unfazed. “Help me get my penis back,” you pleaded in a low voice.
Twilight brought a hoof to her chin and rubbed it while humming thoughtfully. “Hmm. I don’t know what a penis is. Is that some kind of human thing?”
“You must know what a penis is! Just because you have a vagina, that doesn’t mean you don’t know what a penis is.”
“I don’t know what a vagina is either.”
“Bullshit! Show me your ass!” you shouted.
Twilight shrugged her shoulders. She didn't seem the least bit insulted by your demand. As requested, the mare stood up and presented her rump to you. To your absolute horror, you could see her backside was completely featureless in the gap between her buttcheeks. She did not possess a vagina or an anus.
The only notable feature on her backside were the deep pink star tattoo engraved on both sides of her asscheeks. Despite the apparent lack of genitalia, her ass was quite enticing to look at. It was bubbly, round, and smooth. You had a powerful compulsion to bury your head between those cheeks of hers.
Just then, an odd tingling feeling coursed through your body. It started from your mouth, down your neck, and then all the way to the tip of your toes. Your back felt rather funny as well. It was as if someone was giving you a massage. You could not help but utter a quiet moan of bliss. Twilight smiled back at you, and uttered a joyful sound like a dog's chew toy.
“You find me cuddleable?” she asked in a sultry tone, while looking back at you with lust filled eyes.
“Uhh…” you simply said. You could not answer such a question.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly.
“No... I won’t be able to masturbate again,” you said in a low voice.
The mare gasped, a hoof coming to her mouth. She turned back fully around to face you. She gently placed her soft right hoof upon your knee. You shuddered at the warmth and softness of her spongy feeling hoof against it. You could feel that tingling feeling flow through your body again, along with your back being massaged somehow. You could not help but utter a moan of bliss.
“Oh, you poor thing. You must have cuddleitis. Come to bed with me. I’ll give you lovecuddles.”
“What the hell is cuddleitis?”
“It's a rare condition where a pony… or a human in your case, is incapable of giving themselves lovecuddles. They are unable to activate their love matrix by themselves to pleasure themselves. Therefore, they cannot masturcuddle. They need somepony to give them lovecuddles in order to be sexually stimulated.”
A series of questions flooded through your mind. Like how do ponies know about sex, yet they don't seem to have genitalia? How do they have babies? You could only stare at her with your mouth agape.
“You must have many questions. I will be happy to answer them. Clearly, reproduction works differently in your world. I would like to know more about the matter some other time. I was able to infer what you meant by masturbate. We call it masturcuddle here in Equestria.”
“I am… so confused. What the hell is going–”
You were cut off when Twilight gently brought a hoof over your mouth. “Shh. Come to bed with me. I will give you lovecuddles.”
You pondered for a moment what to do. Surely you can't just jump into bed with a cute alien pony? Fuck it, you might as well have ‘lovecuddles’ (whatever that is) with her. That seemed to be the equivalent of sex here.
You reached your right hand out to Twilight and placed it upon her cheek. The mare blushed profusely, her cheeks lighting up with a pink colour. Then, without warning, the mare lunged forward and brought her lips against your own. Her soft, equine lips felt slightly fuzzy against your own. The mare’s large equine tongue explored your mouth, dominating your far smaller human tongue. Her breath was minty fresh. It seemed she recently brushed her teeth. Her two front legs came to wrap themselves around your waist, and you felt her hooves coming to rest on your lower back.
You felt as if you were having an electric shock of pleasure coursing through your entire body. You uttered muffled moans into Twilight’s mouth. Your whole body trembled erratically as you were kissed and hugged by the pony. You were in a paralysed state of absolute pleasure. You could even feel the ghost of your missing penis tingling in bliss.
You became quite simply overwhelmed by this, Thus, you soon lost consciousness.
You opened your eyes to find yourself looking at a pair of large purple eyes staring down at you. They glowed in the dark like that of a cat. You could feel the warm and soft, furry body of your new equine companion against your bare skin. Her rather heavy, soft rump rested directly on your crotch. Not that it mattered, since you did not have a penis anymore. Her two front soft, spongy feeling hooves rested on your shoulders.
“First time, huh?” she asked.
“Uh, yeah. What happened?”
“That was lovecuddles I gave you. A virgin typically goes unconscious the first time they experience lovecuddles. Do you want more lovecuddles?”
“Uh, not right now,” the mare whimpered sadly, making a sound like a whimpering dog. “Look. I’ve had a crazy night. I just want to sleep right now. I’ll consider having more… lovecuddles with you tomorrow.”
“Oh, okay then,” she said in a low voice. She was clearly upset you didn’t want more lovecuddles.
The mare rolled herself off you. You closed your eyes and tried to go back to sleep. You were now in a crazy magical world where sex is something called lovecuddles. You could only hope one day that you will get your penis back by magic or something.
