Open World: Level Up

The weeks I was spending as a baby taught me a lot I didn't expect. Mainly, that my companions have… sides to them I didn't expect.

I'm mostly with Tina, she and Lovely wake up, eat breakfast. Tina tends to any… needs my baby body has for me, but she also spends a lot of time helping her other kids. Sometimes I'm dragged along into play dates despite not speaking baby they see me and already consider me one of them.

Lovely helps too, usually buying the kids toys, clothes, or treats.

I overhear the two talking about needing to expand their place to have bedrooms for all the pups soon.

Tina switches between working for the guild and working her former job as an accountant.

Lovely found herself working at a bar. I had no idea she worked in a bar.

Admittedly I didn't know much about her at all.

She has this book, it's like a journal but when she opens it, inside all I see are weird symbols. And the fact To a can't read it either means the words aren't translating through the Assistant, but Lovely can apparently read them just fine. Said it has something to due with nature spirits.

On days Tina can't care for me, Micheal and Gallon do. As parents, Gallon is the most attentive, always checking on me, but Micheal makes sure I don't get hurt.

I was on many occasions forced into a tea party with Tulip and Dandelion.

Jada visits me often. Tells me how everyone is doing and…

She still feels guilty about my situation…

I worry about her.

I was in my crib right now, just… unable to do anything. My family is forced yet again to live without me basically.

I'm being cared for mostly by my friends who care for me and want me to be okay… but… sometimes I just feel… like a burden…

… Am I really being so stubborn about this that Tiara did this to me just to keep me away from Dark Gray's game?

… I remember when we'd cry over never seeing our homes again…

Now… she's risking everything, all to end up never seeing me again, but letting me live as me…

“Yet again… I’m reminded that this entire fucking thing isn’t fair…” I thought angrily.

Is that the game? Meant to be unfair because the hero may save the day but doesn't get a happy ending?

That would fit with Dark Gray… and the more I tried to fight the game… the more I played it, at least, according to David.

“Everything fucking sucks and I’m not allowed to be happy…” I thought bitterly, wishing there was something I could do but… again I keep being reminded of this…

I guess that's my choice now… do I keep trying to fight… or do I stop?

… All fighting ever got me was pain, missing years of my life with my family, now even more years…

“All these years… all that time, effort, work, blood, sweat and tears wasted because I’m tired of people telling me how my life is supposed to go, that it’s all some preordained bullshit… fucken no matter what I do it’s all preordained! NONE OF THIS IS MY DECISION!!” I mentally raged, as so many things kept becoming more and more clear that, ever fucking since I decided to come to this dumbass planet, everything has been to placate Dark Gray or whatever Time Walker bullshit…

… My only choice was coming to this Mother Forsaken planet… and it's been the biggest mistake of my life…

… Was it even my choice?

…

“I’m constantly told this was all my decision… everything has been of my own free will to make these decisions, and yet if it was, I wouldn’t have been forced into becoming a Baby by Tiara… Tiara wouldn’t have had to do literally any of this …” I thought, so many things connecting together as the times Dark Gray, David, even Tiara telling me these were my decisions… all of it ultimately meant nothing as I was forced to play whatever part they wanted me in.

Nothing I do matters, cause it’s all to play into someone’s game.

No matter how hard I struggle, or struggled, it never mattered cause someone was already benefiting from me just existing …

Nothing I do matters…

Nothing…

…

I lifted my foot…and stabbed my leg, cause even as an infant my talon’s were still sharp enough as I wailed, feeling the pain from being stabbed and the sudden burning as my body regenerated from it as I just… I just cried, nothing mattered! NOTHING EVER MATTERED AND I’M LOSING EVERYTHING I CARE FOR BECAUSE OF IT!

…

If nothing I do matters… what do I do?

… Do… I do… nothing?

“Do I give up like Tiara wants, or do I keep fighting like Dark Gray wants?” I thought, not sure what to do. “Tiara wants to stop me to the point that I hate her… but that would make me fight harder cause that’s now how that shit works… but becoming the Mother is what Dark Gray want’s for some reason, like… again why can’t i? Even if it’s some ‘grain of sand in a vast desert’, I’d be the Mother, Clones assheads it exists…” I thought, wishing there was something I could do that wasn’t just… I don’t know what to do and no one can help me with this…

Tina rushed in. “Oh Button, come here.” She said, picking me up and holding me against her. “It's okay, it's okay. Mommy's here.”

I cried, holding onto Tina as tight as I could… I don’t know what to do… I don’t know…

At some point I fell asleep in Tina's arms, and woke up the next morning when Tina was trying to feed me.

I nursed but mostly I just felt… tired. So… tired. Tina put me in the baby swaddle that kept me against her top breasts, and I just laid in here not really thinking but… contemplating.

“… Estate?”

[Yes?]

The title responded.

“... What do I do?”

[... There is no right answer you'll like.]

“Just…just tell me…not like any of this matters…” I thought. “Hell, you were probably given to me because someone wanted to continue stringing me along this damn game…”

[... A warrior finds no peace in keeping their blade at the ready. For despite how familiar it feels to them, the weight can keep them from moving forward.]

“So…I should just give up?” I mentally asked. “Just…do what Tiara asked and be done with it all?”

[I think if you keep trying to fight it will destroy everything you care about… She's made it clear, to become the Second Mother is an irreversible sacrifice. Let go of this fight… and let go of her. She wants you to let go.]

“I can’t let go of someone I love damn it.” I told them.

[It's that, or lose everything and everyone you love. This is your only choice left. Let go and lose one, or hold on, and lose everything.]

“...This fucking bites…”

…

…

…

…

Okay… you win Tiara… I give up…

Two Years Later

“Alright so that's all of Devil May Cry completed and beaten.” Jada said, putting the game back on the shelf. She was twelve, gonna be thirteen soon.

She's gotten so huge.

“Any new game suggestions?” She asked me. I was still a toddler, with pretty poor/stubby finger still, but now that I can talk, spending time with everyone has been so much easier.

I tapped my chin in thought, as there were a lot of games we still had to go through. “Tales of Symphonia? It’s Co-Op.”

“Let's see… T… T… T…” She muttered, moving through her shelves of games. Her room was expanded. Larger for her and her new collection. “What console?” She asked.

“Gamecube, or Switch.” I answered, given that it was rereleased on the switch.

“Ah. Alright now let's see…” She said as she slithered over to her GameCube collection shelf. “And where are, ah. Found it.” She said, pulling the game box out.

“Awesome.” I said happily. “Heard the game was awesome, and the co-op, while a little wonky, made it better.”

“Think your tiny hands can keep up?” She asked with a chuckle as she switch the console to the GameCube.

“I’ve had to compensate, but my magic is a lot better now.” I said, raising both hands and levitating the controller. “I have baby hands, but I can keep up still.”

“Baby hands~” Jada teased as she put the disc in and turned the console on. “So, how's your mom doing?”

I sighed. Tina over the last two years has fully embraced being my new mother… I'm pretty sure our relationship will never be what it was before my de-aging again… but… oddly, I don't mind. I still have her as a friend and while she won't ever be my lover/bed mate again… she’s been an amazing mom…

Reminds me of my birth mom back home…

“I mean… kinda sucks we lost one form of relationship but Tina’s been doing well… makes me miss Mom back home…”

“Probably doesn't help that you call her mom.” Jada chuckled.

That was… an accident that became a norm…

“It is… sadly becoming the norm…” I sighed. “Even though she is into that kinda kink, best not make it weirder…” I thought to myself.

As Jada and I began playing I had to admit… the last two years were… good.

My first few months were… rough. Just felt so… empty. I could almost have been mistaken for a normal baby with how little I communicated and… how much I cried. Eventually though, the tears just… dried out and I actually started trying things. Ended up figuring out how to get my unicorn magic to work again and now I have levitation even better than before. Sure made keeping myself entertained easier.

Speaking of that's how I got back into gaming again. First by myself, then with my kids. Feels weird technically being younger than them but we all managed to spend time together. At least a little every so often, but Jada spends the most time with me.

“I’m…glad things are working out…” I said, even though I still felt like dog shit cause Depression is a bastard and I hate it, at least things were going well.

“Same.” Jada said.

We played for a while until Tina came and picked me up.

She brought me back to her home and put me in the crib again.

“You know I don’t need a crib.” I pointed out.

“But you're still so tiny~” Tina pouted.

“I can speak fully well and yes I know I’m still adorably tiny.” I admitted.

“Awe… just a bit longer. It feels like just yesterday I was changing your diaper and nursing you…”

I gave Tina a flat look. Honestly, knowing how she is with… basically everyone and now knowing how she is with her kids… of which I now am, the difference is an almost total 180. My horny woof is now a mothering super momma.

“It’s still surprising how fast you can one eighty like this my horny woof.” I admitted.

“Ah! I am your mamma! There is no horny here… unlike the uncle who shall not be named…”

Ah yes… she and Tony never did get past his whole… Den thing…

“We’re going to find your family.” I said. “Please… don’t get hung up on all that.”

“I'm not mad he found his den I'm mad it was everything we swore never to do.” Tina huffed. “Still never apologized or changed either…”

“At this point he had to, and there is literally no repercussions to it all.” I admitted.

“So you're telling me you'd fuck Jada?”

I managed not to barf.

“No, why would I do that?” I asked.

“There you have it. Why would he fuck his own kids when he has no reason to. Culture, species norm or not Cheat was right, Tony was the Alpha and he had all the power to change the rule and never did…” Tina sighed. “Don't care if it's genetically alright, either with us being A Den Mother and True Alpha… there are lines we never should cross…”

“Well you kind of answered your own question there with pointing out ‘Culture’ and ‘Species Norm’.” I pointed out. “Not to mention… it’s not like I’m innocent of any of that anyways.”

“You and Cheat don't count. Cheat was a symbiote before the whole getting their own body thing. You didn't grow up with them or raise them, Cheat might be genetically a sibling to you but you two are not siblings.”

“Cheerilee.” I interrupted.

“She looks like your birth mom yes but she isn't. You two even tested that and there's no genetic relation.” Tina stated.

“So you have all the excuses in the world for me when I fucked my sister, who has constantly teased me about her sister kink, and effectively fucked my own mother, but Tony is somehow too far when for the most part he was the only one their that could help them?”

“You have no relation genetically to Cheerilee. Cheat… look, our whole lives Tony and I had boundaries when it came to this kind of stuff. We're perverts, whores, sluts, we'll openly admit that but we had boundaries. We always swore we'd never cross those lines, no matter how hot and heavy it would get we stuck to it… but apparently all it takes for him is to be alone for some years and cross that line with no regrets.”

“Hey, would you look at that, same circumstances as me.” I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I was alone with nobody but Cheat for maybe like…two months, got her a body and then fucked my sister.”

“Tony already had two pack mates, three with that first Cyclops lady and yet despite that he still went and boned everyone in his den regardless… Cheat is a pervert. She wasn't born with, before or after you, she didn't grow up with you, share experience, have fun, get bullied, or let you cry on their shoulders when a bunch of guys try and hang up on you just because word of mouth says you're an easy mark! All she has to claim is that fucking body that she only has because of Tiara! You two are not siblings!” Tina yelled, making me backup a bit in my crib. “... Genetics or cultures be damned… he swore to me we'd never cross certain lines… he broke that promise and my trust…”

“Life isn’t fair.” I told her. “Sometimes you have to make a choice, whether you like it or hate it, whether it’ll ruin your life or it’ll ruin others, at least you and Tony had a choice in the matter.” I frowned. “So don’t you start sCheerileeing at me because Tony decided to do a thing because he had to, I actually listened to the guy, while all of you were being pissy at him for… honestly no reason, like seriously the moment he got here, the only one that took him seriously was Alchem and everyone else just hated him, treated him like a joke, or just didn’t care, you come along and everyone treated you seriously, didn’t treat you like a joke, and more or less you had people constantly.” I frowned. “How do you think Tony… wait, no, you don’t.”

Tina looked at me… tears…

…

She ran.

…

…

I sat down in the crib. Great… I basically told her her feelings don't matter just because she had it easier than Tony did…

“Well, it only took two years before something bad happened…new personal record.” I huffed.

[You should apologize] Estate said.

“I should , but she also needs to realize that Tony’s been suffering a lot , and her being mad at him is helping nobody.” I said, cause so far Tina’s been mad that he broke his promise, while I’ve had a promise broken on me and I’m supposed to suck it.

[Honestly… all you people are petty idiots…]

“It’s called having emotions.” I frowned.

[It's called being too stubborn to swallow pride and apologize first. You apologize to her, she apologizes to you, and Tony apologizes for breaking his promises with Tina, and with luck she'll apologize for being hard on Tony. Honestly you all act like saying ‘I’m sorry’ is gonna kill you.]

… I hate how they're right…

“Hopefully you are right…” I sighed, using Levitation to pick myself up out of my crib and float off to find Tina.

Being this small makes walking around the house take longer than it should. As I did I saw the photos. Tina's kids. Some were mine and her's. Others were from other fathers…

Our photos. Before and after my de-aging…

She's done a lot for me…

… And I go and make her cry…

I sighed, looking down as I walked.

I could hear her crying. The closer I got the louder it got.

… I know what it feels like to know your existence means nothing… that it's out of your hands and your choices and emotions don't matter…

… I don't want her or anyone to know what that feels like…

I came up to the door to the room Tina was in. Huh. Not sure what's here actually. I used magic to turn the knob and opened it. Inside it looked like… a large crystal bedroom.

Empty cribs, a large bed and hand drawn sketches of people… ponies. Humanoid ones and… pups…

… I'm such an idiot…

Tina had people but she suffered to… still no sign of her first litter or her lovers.

She was crying into the side of the large bed.

“Tina?” I asked softly.

If she heard me, she didn't make it obvious. I walked up next to her, sitting on the cold crystal floor, and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry…” I said sadly. “I know… I know you're suffering, I know you’ve had a lot of problems and… and your missing family…”

“... But Tony has it worse…” She said, almost heaving the words out her mouth. “You think I don't know he's had it rough? I've seen him at his lowest, when things got real bad but he always kept his promises that things would get better, but he's got it all now. Two families to call his own, friends, his kids back, his daughter back… but sure… he has it all now but just because I had it easier than him in the beginning… doesn't mean it hasn't been hell. I'm the reason so many are dead back on my Equestria… meanwhile he repopulated a near extinct species, grew a huge den, has a massive family… he had it rough… but he's not the screw up… I am… I've known that for a while… he can do what he puts his mind to and he did…”

I moved over and hugged Tina. “You're not a screw up… you never are and never were… you didn’t know any of it was going on and tried to do something about when you did learn… it’s not your fault you had no choice in the matter.” I said, as I learned from them both that it was All Maker Pain’s fault that their world was fucked eight ways to sunday.

“I just want things to be like before. Before the bullshit with Genie and Demon, Pain and all that crap… I just want my kids back… my partners… I try and act but get my ass handed to me over, and over, and make no difference… Tony made a difference… hell you two made this safe zone… proof enough that unlike me he can overcome his hardships… he's done so much and all I've done is fail… is it wrong I just wanted one thing I can be mad at him for? To feel less pathetic about myself…”

“You are not pathetic, you are not a failure…” I squeezed her tightly. “I’m sorry for hurting you mom… I just… I’m so sorry.”

I felt her put her hand over my back, pressing me against her. “Thanks… but I'm not suited for this fighting and crap… I'm happy with a simple life. As far as being some hero goes, Tony fits the role better.”

“We’re all tired.” I admitted. “So much of our choices has been either preordained or laid out in front of us by someone or something else and we don’t have a single fucking clue if this is our free will or just us playing our parts…”

She rubbed her fingers across my back. “Heh… guess in the end, some of us have more freedom than others in this reality.” She sighed. She took a deep breath, pushing herself up some. “... Guess I should talk to Tony huh?”

“You should.” I admitted. “And yes… some of us do…”

“Think he's mad at me?”

“Everyone’s mad at everyone at this point.” I sighed. “Depending on how this goes he might just grab you into a hug and just be super excited to know that you’re still here, alive and well… “

“... Think he'll apologize too? I know based on your stance you think it would be pointless… but it would be nice to hear…”

“Maybe, cause he does care about you, you’re his sister after all.” I admitted.

She sighed, looking over at the sketches. “Hope so…”

Tina took a bit to collect herself before putting me in my room. Much as I wanted to be there for the conversation… It's something between siblings.

My room was not bad. Lots of pictures of my kids and partners. Nice sized TV and consoles.

I chuckled every time I saw my racecar bed.

Sometimes I genuinely felt like I was a child.

“Don’t care, got racecar bed.” I chuckled, floating over to the bed and turning on the TV because I have nothing much to do today.

Or most days.

It was the next morning when Tina showed up again. She picked me up out of the bed and walked/carried me to the kitchen.

“Sleep well?” She asked.

“I did, how did everything go?”

“It went well. I apologized… we talked. Tony apologized. We reached an agreement of sorts In the end.”

“That’s good to hear.” I nodded. “Glad it all worked out.”

“Yeah. So, today on your agenda is more of the same at the moment followed by some time with your siblings then we're all eating out.” Tina said.

“Yeah that sounds about right.” I nodded. “Just another boring day.”

“Don't knock borning. Come your school enrollment you'll be missing these boring days.” Tina chuckled.

“I am not going to school again.” I frowned. “I served my nickel, I’m not going back.”

“You wanted to go before. What changed?”

“Because I forgot that school sucks.” I stated. “It was an idea before…then I realized I’d be stuck in school again .”

“Oh don't be like that. Might be fun.” Tina offered.

“Might being the operative word.” I pointed out.

“Well I'm enrolling you anyway.” Tina said.

“Alright alright.” I sighed. “Going to have to suffer through schoolwork again.”

“It won't be so bad. Besides, your brothers and sisters will be there with you and you'll be seeing Barb as your homeroom teacher.”

… Oh that is gonna be so awkward!

I still have a kid with her too and… agh! This being turned into a baby and having to age back to adulthood thing is going to mess with all my relationships…

“Oh… I forgot…” I said sadly.

“Not like she lived with you. Actually from what you did say about her she seems ready to be a single mom all things considered.”

“Yeah…” I trailed off. “Yeah…” I admitted, curling up into myself as so many things are just… ruined because of this.

“I don't think she'll be upset. Odds are she knows your situation given she teaches most of your kids anyway.” Tina said, gently petting my head.

“That’s not the problem…” I said.

“What's up?”

“All my relationships with everyone I know and care about are irrevocably fucked because someone else said so, I was already fixing everything so far and now it’s all ruined…” I shook my head. “Take one step forward, get shoved into the Forever Box of fucked relationships.”

“Hey, it's not that bad. Sure… maybe what we had won't be the same but… not really sure that was actually a relationship either. Sure we fucked, had kids and tried to fight but other than that… we mainly did our own things. Not really a relationship, more if a friend's with benefits. Like this though…” Tina said, hugging me a bit. “I know a lot more about you. And you know more about me.”

“No it’s that bad, you’re just arguing for one individual out of like…fifty and growing.” I said. “Our relationship became ‘mother and child’, but what about everyone else? Cheerilee’s more distraught than she puts on knowing I’m just…like this for the next decade and a half, Barb… well that relationship is practically out the window, my kids thought I was good as I was fixing everything, now their just treating me like another sibling… everything I tried to fix or work towards is fucked with those few examples…”

“... I can't imagine how frustrated you are, given everything, but you're still here with them. It won't be like your ten year absence. You're still here for them.”

“Your right, it’s just a different ten year absence.” I frowned. “Why do you think when I got to talking I’ve been meeting Lovely practically five times a month?” I asked weakly.

“Cause you're curious as all shit about her book?”

“That book’s from Stardew Valley, I know how it works.” I answered, cause when I started playing that game with a few of the kids because Stardew Valley is fun, I recognized the book looked real similar to Lovely’s. “What’s her profession again Tina?”

“Psychology.”

“Good, now what do Psychologists tend to do?” I asked carefully.

“Give therapy.” Tina sighed, scratching my back lightly. “Glad you're getting help at least.”

“Good, you're learning.” I said, patting her fluff. “Good girl.”

“Pfft. Hey.” She chuckled. We arrived in the dining room and I was placed in my chair. “It can also help you to talk with them all too you know? Helped us yesterday and Tony and I last night. Maybe it's time you stop putting off so many long overdue conversations.”

“Maybe…” I sighed. “All of this… part of it is my fault but.. All this just sucks.”

“Only way to make it less bad is to work on it. After breakfast, let's talk to Cheerilee and all them. One on one with you and them all. Sound good?”

“Alright.” I sighed.

True to her word, Tina got to work. She figured it best I talk privately with them, so I was sitting on my bed in my room waiting.

After a bit, Cheerilee walked in.

She looked tired. Had a new haircut, short, no longer had those long bangs or her mane in a ponytail.

“Hey.” She said, giving me a small smile as she walked in, the door closing behind her.

I floated over and hugged her. “I’m so… so sorry.”

“Hey now… none of that.” She said, patting my head. “This one was not your fault.”

“It’s still fucking everything up…” I said sadly.

“Heh… does suck…” She sighed, hugging me back. “At least you're still here.”

“And that both helps… and makes it worse.” I admitted. “Cause I’m here… but not here as it were…”

“It's better than the first time.” Cheerilee sighed. “So much better.”

“Better… yeah…” I said, squeezing Cheerilee a bit more.

“So, how has your second childhood been?” Cheerilee asked, looking around my room. “I see Tina has definitely taken over the role of your mother.”

“It should be fine, but depression is a hell of a thing for a two year old.” I admitted.

“To be fair you were depressed well before turning two again.” Cheerilee chuckled. “Not gonna lie… when I heard you were gonna stop… all of it… I was happy.”

“Of course you are, you were my greatest enemy when it came to that.” I joked.

“I was happy because I was worried I'd lose you if you did continue.” Cheerilee said, looking me in the eyes. “I heard about the whole… become the Second Mother thing and… while I'd never do what Tiara is doing… I get it… losing you is not something any of us want. I know part of it is you wanted to prove you were worthy of having us, of your happiness… you know you never had to prove anything to us, right?”

“At this point it was proving that my life wasn't some preordained bullshit…that all my actions, all my lovers, everything wasn't just some sick game…”

Cheerilee sighed, putting a hoof to my head. “If that was the case, then none of us would still be here, would we? You gave up and we're all still here. That's not some preordained thing, that's us caring about you deeply.”

“That's part of the preordained stuff… right down to who I'd marry and have kids with…” I sighed bitterly. “It… it all just sucks…”

“What makes you think that?”

“Cause what would make me drive me to sacrifice everything if I didn't have all of you?” I asked.

“... You're too paranoid…” Cheerilee sighed, picking me up. “There is one person you can ask who probably knows the truth.”

Hm?

“You know someone that would know? Cause I can guess either David or Tiara.”

“Shopkeep too.” She said.

Right… he… he might know something.

“Yeah…Shopkeep might know, he might also tell me to piss off cause he's…tired.”

“One way to find out.” Cheerilee said. She carried me over to my bed. I saw Armageddon walk in, giving me a wave and smile.

He didn't grow much over the last two years.

He took that key of his and tapped it against the door. It then opened and showed Shopkeeper’s store. Cheerilee then put me down and I walked in.

I looked up, seeing Shopkeep drinking a soda at his usual spot at the cashier's desk. “Yo.” He said.

“Sup.” I said. “I have an important question to ask, and it involves the Second Mother.”

“Shoot.” He shrugged, taking another sip from his cup.

“Was everything about my life, since I got here, preordained to be the Second Mother? Cause too much of my life has been a bit too coincidental when I went over all of it.”

Shopkeeper sipped his drink for a bit before putting it down, and looked at me. “... My guy you are not that special.” He said, making me blink. “Yes you might meet the criteria to be a candidate to become the Second Mother, and for a bit there was the most likely, you're a marble in a roughly bucket sized pool of other equally or better candidates. Being a candidate means jack unless you act in a way Dark Gray desires. You just happened to be unlucky enough to be the most proactive at it.”

“Then why haven't you forced some other chucklefuck that's better to do this when Dark Gray's ‘game’ has literally killed hundreds of Time Walkers, wasted so much of everyone's time and made me lose Diamond?” I frowned.

“That would be direct involvement. This does not meet the criteria of necessary involvement. Besides, in the long run Tiara is a better candidate for the Second Mother than you. She meets all the right criteria and being a Time Walker, is pretty well suited for the role. She's gonna end up forgotten by everyone that ever knew her when she dies so, this way she can at least be remembered, even if she loses herself.”

“Why the fuck is there necessary involvement needed anyways?” I asked, now just feeling more pissed by this than anything.

“Dark Gray's?”

“Any of the infinite amount of fuckers that you can con into abandoning their lives for… what exactly? Time that never really fucking mattered?”

Shopkeeper sighed. “If you believe that then you must be looking forward to Madness…”

“ Finally , some actual context behind this stupid ass game.” I groaned. “I keep hearing how important this is and told nothing about it, why should anyone care when for the vast majority of reality nobody even knew this existed?”

“Blame Lord.” Shopkeep shrugged. “But yes, on top of birthing the second Mother and bringing Time properly into this reality, Madness will finally be cured.”

“Cool… why do you need all these stupid hoops to jump through when the answer is right fucking there?” I asked.

“Because no one in The Family can become the second Mother.”

“And you can’t get involved cause this nebulous ‘necessary involvement’ clause that’s just more or less…there.”

“Because everyone in The Family either is or has the traits to be an All Maker, just not the right one.”

I raised a brow.

“Uh… what?” I asked.

“Alright, history lesson for ya.” Shopkeeper said, leaning on the desk now. “First question, what is an All Maker?”

“Uh… the beings above Gods and Admins?”.

“Half Credit.” Shopkeep said. “All Makers are the original creators. Existing in the harsh energies outside the machine long before it was created. They built the machine, where all of us originate, to safely house their creations. All Makers like myself and other members of The Family are along the lines of copies of these Pureblood All Makers, we ascended through toil and research but we aren't an exact copy. These days, there's only one Pureblood All Maker left in all existence. The Mother.”

“Really? There is absolutely no others?” I asked.

“Well, technically there’s two other pure bloods but they…are busy.” Shopkeep said vaguely.

“Of course they are….”

“They got what they deserved.” Shopkeep said. “Can't trust them.”

“So then why the fuck did you trust The Mother if she’s also apart of this group you can’t trust?” I asked.

“Because The Mother is the reason we were able to beat the other two. It's a long and story and honestly all I remember from the details is they gave me a headache but she was an ally, the other two… one was just wrecking shit for literally forever, the other was totally insane and tried to destroy the Machine. Point is, All Makers like myself, Lord and many others in The Family are not the same as All Makers like her and them. Think of it like comparing diamonds and quarts. Polished and shaped both look beautiful and radiant, but one is clearly stronger than the other. We need someone new who can become an All Maker, an artificial Pure Blood. If Tiara becomes the Second Mother, it's almost irony given her name.”

“So because these other All Makers annoyed you…” I shook my head. “That’s for another time, but that explains some of the hoops needed to jump through… why the rest?”

“Annoyed, almost killed all creation… guess it's the same thing to someone who was born long after…” Shopkeep said. I felt him glaring at me from under that mask. “The rest, simple. Proof of worth. Can't just hand the power to anyone, it has to be someone who earned it and earned it right.”

“And you’ve been hoping someone was capable of doing this for three whole ass eras, by also… having it be the most hidden and vague thing imaginable, which I presume is Lords fault as well.”

“Partly. The other is to keep undesirables from obtaining it. I doubt you want the likes of Nexus or Alex or other such parties to know how to gain the power right?”

“Too late for that, they're working for Tiara who’s basically been handing keys to said power to them.” I stated. “As Alex is already working on becoming an All Maker himself and god only knows who else.”

“Heh. You don't need to worry about them.”

“The hundreds of dead Time Walkers says otherwise.” I said. “And said Time Walker Volatile Nokori he’s been creating doesn’t help either.”

“Not my department. Not that Peccator cares either way.”

“So a bunch of who cares all around, it’ll all sort itself out possibly , or it could go terribly, horribly wrong.”

“Weren't you bitching about a non-existent preordained fate earlier?”

“You say non-existent preordained, but Tiara wouldn’t have been causing a lot of things to happen if it wasn’t preordained.” I pointed out.

“Ah yes, tell one of the creators of reality how it works.” I could feel his eyes roll. “You don't know how cause and effect work do you?”

“I do know what cause and effect is, it’s not my fault that I’m now just learning what I most likely should have been fucking told before but everyone keeps wanting to piss me off about it.” I said, cause Dark Gray didn’t give me answers, David kind of gave me answers, and Tiara was so bitter about not giving me answers she literally turned me into a fucking baby!

“Ugh… fucking… alright. Let me explain it like this.” Shopkeeper said, a clap of his hands and his store was gone. Just he and I in a vast empty white void. Well, he was sitting in a chair. A snap of his fingers and there were marbles everywhere. “Okay, so this,” he held up a brown Marble. “Represents you.” He then dropped it, it landed, rolling for a bit and hitting a few other marbles. “And that was your arrival on Armageddon.”

“Yes, that is basically what happened.” I said.

“Good.” He said, snapping his fingers as the marbles all started to move around, smacking into and rolling around seemingly at random. Mine too. “This all represents the choices made by everyone on Armageddon. How they effect others and where they take them. And that represents Dark Gray.” Shopkeep said as he pointed up.

I looked up- Eye… giant fucking eye!

“Dark Gray sees it all, it's his planet after all, but at this point in time you were no different than the rest of the population. Just a person getting by trying to survive.”

“So he watched all of it going on and…what? Drew lots or something at that point?” I asked, cause the whole thing with Dark Gray and me was when I first met Armageddon in a dream…then Dark Gray tried to sass me and I got pissed at this being a fucking game to him.

“He waits and watches for an abnormal interaction.” He said, just some of the clacking marbles would jump or bulldoze past many others. My own marble zipping around madly. All these marbles then began to glow. “The abnormal reactions gain his attention. In this case, the first thing you did that got his attention was choosing to leave your family for ten years.” Shopkeep explained.

“Because I wanted to try and fix the Breeders…” I said carefully.

Nodding, Shopkeep then waved a hand. The other marbles all zipping by, giving the illusion mine was traveling far… until it stopped before a chess piece. A queen… David… “You then encountered one of his chess pieces, and walked away. You even got their fancy. Dark Gray took a very detailed note of that.” The marbles all zipped back, showing mine was now supposedly back home after my return, and this time… I saw a pink marble there, glowing as well. “And here, Tiara is already a fully realized Time Walker.”

“So as my life was starting to spiral out of control…Dark Gray has been really focused on me and seeing how he could fuck with me…”

“He needed the right reactions.” Shopkeep said. Tiara's marble then floated up and over mine. Suddenly lines like webs shot out from it, my marble not moving but the lines going so many ways. It was like watching chaos but… “This, is the power of a Time Walker. To see time where Time doesn't exist, by predicting probably based on the person's reactions and actions. The web may look like nonsense, but to Time Walkers it's all about finding order in the chaos.” The lines, many of them began glowing. Some led all around, others seemed to just… end… “and as you can see, she saw your predictions. Some, you die. Some, a fate worse than death… but a good amount…” The remaining lines went up, showing a statue of the Mother in an hourglass. “There was never anything preordained Button. Just your choices, and the odds of them leading you to that, based solely on you and your actions.”

“So I was fucked either way…” I said, looking at all the threads and there was…basically none that would have let me just live normally, everything lead to me being… gone .

“Which is why, Tiara was working to change your reactions and actions.” He said, the lines vanishing and Tiaras marble slamming against mine. “Turning you into a Nokori,” Another smack. “Holding all the children of the New Foundation hostage with Alex.” Another smack. “The Attack from the Majority.” Smack. “Turning you into an infant.” He said, Tiara's marble slamming hard into my marble, embedding it into the ground a bit. “Change your reactions. Your future actions, change your future.”

“I got that… and there is…wait a fucking second, what do you mean she’s the one that sent the Majority after me!? Was threatening our children with Alex not enough for some reason?”

“Who do you think tipped them off about Yuri? She's already proven more than willing to go to any lengths to prevent the outcome your original actions would have led to. Now, she's accomplished that goal. Two years ago, your pathways changed.”

Two… when I gave up…

“You’ve…gotta be fucking kidding me…” I muttered.

“Funny how that works, huh?”

“This still isn’t fair…” I groaned.

“Maybe not. But because of it, you're free. Dark Gray doesn't have his eyes on you anymore. You can live and be happy.”

“Yeah, live and be happy…” I frowned, looking at the spider web again and seeing so many things that basically said ‘yeah your fucked’... no matter what I did… all I could do was sit there and do nothing , like everyone else wants to… “Feck…”

“Why so glum? You'll get your happy ending.” Shopkeep said, clapping his hands as we were back in his store.

“My ‘happy ending’ sounds more like ‘the end’, cause everything has now turned into ‘sit there and do nothing’.” I admitted. “Cause whatever I do, Tiara’s going to be pissy at me and… at the end, I’m going to lose my Diamond because of all of this…”

“Sadly. Best to cherish the ones you're going to still have though. Less her sacrifice be in vain.”

“She shouldn’t have to sacrifice herself for this to begin with…” I shook my head. “This shouldn’t even be a game where so much is on the line.”

“Well, next time, don't go to the aptly named Death World.” Shopkeep said. “Course if you didn't most of your lovers and children would not exist. Cause and effect. Really is a bitch huh?”

I'd never give them up… they're my everything…

“My family is my everything…and yes, Reality is a bitch…”

“Good.” Shopkeep said. He snapped his fingers again and I felt… different. I looked and I was still small. “I removed the regeneration penalty and stat cap. You're still gonna have to age to adulthood sadly.”

“Yeah, I assumed that would still be the thing.” I sighed. “Oh well… thanks Shopkeep.”

“Enjoy your life.”

I nodded, turning and walking out of the store and back to the bedroom.

Cheerilee looked down at me. “So?” She asked.

“Well I learned that, until I gave up, my life was going to be fucked six ways from sunday and there was not a single thing I could do about it.” I admitted. “So the Second Mother is needed cause it’ll cure Madness… somehow, not sure how that works, and a bunch of other things were talked about.”

“Heh. See? Nothing was forcing you ever. Save your own stubbornness.” Cheerilee said, rubbing my head.

“Excusing the fact that I would have either become the Mother, died, or suffered a fate worse than death in literally every situation…”

“Well then stop being a stubborn stallion trying to save the world… and just be here for your family.” Cheerilee said, giving me a warm smile. “And grow big and strong, okay little man~” She added with a slight teasing.

“I’m sure I’ll grow big and strong.” I chuckled warmly. “Thank you.”

With that, Cheerilee left and I next watched as Cheat walked in.

“Hey there little brother~” She said with a laugh.

“How have you been?” I asked, ignoring her mild jab at me.

“Kind of bored, kind of busy.” She said. “Mostly just been working.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “I just learned that my life would have been fucked eight ways to sunday if I didn’t give up.”

“Gee… it’s almost like literally everyone ever was telling you as much over the years…” Cheat deadpanned.

“No as in I would have died, gotten a fate worse than death, or been The Mother because for some reason The Family are a pack of lazy assholes just shoveling popcorn in their mouths hoping some douche bag would solve their problems for them in the most roundabout way possible.”

Cheat rolled her eyes. “I think as long as whatever is happening doesn’t involve mass perma deaths or risk the barrier or something they genuinely don’t care since other people can handle it. Eh. So, how’s it feel being knee deep in your mommy fetish with Tina~”

“Our relationship before is fucked beyond comprehension, my relationship with Barb is fucked, my relationship with you is…getting worse, and everything that I tried to fix is fucked, take a guess.” I frowned.

“Oh don’t be like that. Besides, Barb is here and gonna talk with you too anyway.” She shrugged. “Besides, kind of nice seeing Tina focusing so much on mom stuff. She looks… genuinely happy.”

“Not like she was threatened or anything of the sort.” I rolled my eyes. “But at least she is happy.”

“Oh by the way Power Up is a cannibal now.”

WHAT?!?!

“How and why and what the fuck!?” I said in a panic.

“Oh it all started when I got a job at this butcher shop a few months back and they specialize in selling meat from intelligent beings, which thanks to the Safe Zone is legal now so since I’m a former symbiote I was like, why not, and I even get some bits to take home every so often and normally I keep it all in a separate fridge/freezer but Power Up got into them and I guess since she’s half symbiote she has a taste for it and we kind of bonded over a grill out.”

…

“... I… I shouldn’t be surprised but… I hate it.”

“This coming from the stallion that not a day into living in this reality said ‘fuck veggies and fruit, bacon!’.” Cheat said with a frown at me.

“Hey, first of all that was me learning that I’m an Omnivore, and two, it’s fucking Bacon, shut up Ms ‘When are we having the Gut Destroyer Burger again?’.” I deadpanned.

“I was a symbiote, my species survive off the proteins and prions from meat. Besides, I ate a lot of zombies when we shared a body so you’re a pseudo cannibal by default.” She huffed.

“Oh hush you.” I huffed back. “But… at least Power Up is enjoying life.”

“Oh she’s a little agent of chaos and it’s beautiful! She sent a child to tears and made their mother speechless at the insult she hurled the other day. It was pure art.” Cheat said with a warm smile. “I think that child died a little inside that day.”

“...What happened?” I asked carefully.

“We were walking and this kid she knew was school and his bitch mom was messing with us and the kid is kind of an absolute idiot. So while Power Up and them were arguing the kid goes ‘Hey, don’t underestimate me!’ and Power Up replied ‘It’s impossible to underestimate you! If you ever had an intelligent thought it died alone and afraid!’ and the kid just had this look of absolute shock and the mom was so flabbergasted she just stuttered before taking her brat and finally leaving us alone. I’ve never been so proud!”

“Bruh.”

“Oh her insult game has gotten so much better now that she plays Call of Duty.”

“Why the hell are you letting a child play that game that looks more like an Unattended Firehose of Racism?”

“Because while others are matches and wild fires of insults and slurs, Power Up has become a verbal nuke that has cleared whole lobbies and it’s incredible to witness.” Cheat said happily. “Our little girl is gonna grow up to be a total terror on the world’s bastards and I’m fully supporting it!”

“It most certainly is going to be a thing with her.” I admitted.

“Other than that, things are pretty calm. Lot more of the Revived are coming in from patches here and there, Armageddon helps Matthew and Kid with all that. Haven’t come across any Equestria’s though. It’s a small operation sadly but it’s reviving several thousand people a day from The Afterlife.”

“It’s at least something.” I admitted. “Slowly but surely.”

“Yup. Other than that, not much on my end. Try and visit more, alright?”

“I'll try.” I nodded, floating up and giving her a quick hug.

“Heh, you’re so tiny. Weird how Nokori age like that.” She chuckled as she hugged me back.

“It is a bit annoying.” I admitted. “But at least you're happy Cheat.”

“Finally being able to stay in one place long enough without worrying about whatever fight you’ll be getting into has been relaxing. Feel like I can finally learn more about myself.”

Cheat gave me a quick forehead kiss before putting me down.

When Cheat exited the door, and next walked in Philomina. “Hello Master Button.” She greeted with a smirk and a bow.

“Hello.” I said politely. “How are you doing today?”

“I have been… getting by.” She said.

“Is everything alright?” I asked nervously, hoping she was okay and not struggling more than I already feared.

“Just been a little tired recently.” She admitted.

“Why’s that?” I asked, worried about Philomena’s health if she’s working too hard.

“Mostly just tending to the children. Having your former Breeders cured and helping has been good, but there isn’t much they themselves know about life and since they attend Alchem’s school for Breeders to learn, just been busy.”

“I understand.” I nodded. “Just don’t work too hard and remember to take breaks alright?”

“I try.” She said, walking over and sitting next to me on the bed. “Feels odd.”

“With me being this small or something else?” I inquired.

“I guess… just feel a bit… sad is all.”

I moved over and hugged her the best I could. “I’m sorry…”

She put a hand on my back. “... I know I’m different from the rest, but sometimes it feels more obvious than normal.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…but I’m glad you're still here.”

“Wouldn’t know where else to go.” She said with a small laugh. “... I have an appointment with the Past Protectors to get my memories back.”

“I would love to join and see it all.” I said honestly.

“I can tell you about it. This is… something I’ve been considering for a long time.”

“Yeah… I can imagine it’s been a thing ever since the Past Protector’s became a thing.” I said.

“I hear so far… as Prize Pod people memories end in tragedy… Guess I’m at least expecting that I died before waking up in the pod…”

“I think one of the reports said that each person has a different reason and that coincides with their ‘Class’, since your a Lover you would have died for whoever you loved…”

“I’m a Servant Class Master Button, with a subclass as Mistress… I feel like that’s painting a picture of what I should expect…” She sighed.

“I…really hope it’s not as bad as I fear it will be.” I said nervously. “And sorry for… getting it wrong, I’ve just been… going through a lot of things.”

She smiled, patting my back some as she did. “You always seem to be.”

“I try not to… but so many things keep happening.” I pouted.

“Will they still be happening then?”

I wanted to say something… but… “No.” I said, looking at Philomina. “Not anymore.”

“Promise?” She asked.

“I promise.” I said, cause not like I’m going to be doing anything for at minimum fifteen years or however the fuck long it takes me to be fully grown again.

“That would be nice.”

I spend a little bit longer with Philomina before she left and in walked Sweetie. “Hey Button.” She said with a nod as she walked in.

“Hey Sweetie.” I said softly. “How you doing?”

“Alright. Mostly just looking into mods and hardware upgrades.”

“That’s good.” I nodded. “So…I might as well ask, given I’ve…more or less ignored it the past two talks… what’s our relationship?” I asked. “Especially because of…this…”

“I mean… I’d say our relationship has always been more along the lines of… there.” Sweetie admitted. “I know the whole reason we even came to Armageddon was for me… my missing parts and such… but long term… we’re definitely partners, in every sense of the word but…”

“Yeah…” I sighed bitterly. “Not the way possibly either of us wants… just me realizing that I’ve screwed up all my relationships that they’re…almost non-existent…”

“You’ve just always seemed so busy and always looking, you actually looked for some reason to not be home and… I know this situation isn’t your fault I just… It felt like your priorities while, yes, you were trying to keep us safe… you weren’t there for us…”

“I'm sorry…” I said sadly. “Part of a thing a while ago was that O5-1 was trying to help me relearn what it means to be ‘normal’, and… so much of my power, and so much about being busy for over ten years straight made me feel like… I was giving up on everything just for a routine…”

“Is that so bad?”

“It can be when it was pushing me away from all of you…”

“... Why did you feel like you had to do… any of it?”

“Because I'm strong, I'm a ‘predator’ as it were… so out of place with all of you as I sacrificed a decade just for some dumbass thing that would have been solved years from then and I'm just a massive mess that… it probably would have been better to leave you all cause I was a massive detriment…”

“... Well, you aren’t strong anymore. You’re not a ‘predator’ anymore. What now?”

“My life is a mess, every relationship I have is screwed beyond belief and… I'm more shocked you all put up with me.”

“Well, it’s lucky for you we do.”

“By some grace of God…ugh, I feel worse than some poor sad sack of a wolf and I don't know why.” I grumbled, as I just kept thinking about… how screwed everything was.

“Well, I guess if anything, you can learn to live again.”

“I'm trying…” I sighed. “I'm trying…”

“Just don’t rush it.” Sweetie said, patting my head.

With that, she left and in walked Maud. She smirked at seeing me and picked me up for a hug. “Heh, you’re so little. Like a plushie.”

I hugged back. “Certainly feels like it with how I've…just been here.” I admitted.

“It’s not so bad.” Maud said as she put me down. “Not the best it could have been, but it’s better than you being gone.”

“At a certain point it feels like I'm still gone with how screwed all my relationships are…” I said sadly.

“You won’t be this little forever. Sixteen more years.” She said, patting my head.

“That doesn’t stop my relationships being boned…”

“Give it sixteen years.” Maud chuckled. “You know, it's a chance for us to start again too. With the whole Armageddon thing we didn't really get the chance to properly date.”

“That… that would be amazing.” I admitted. “I would love to start dating again.”

“It's a date… in sixteen years.” Maud chuckled.

“Sixteen years…ick.” I groaned. “That’s going to take forever .”

“Gives you plenty of time to prepare. And hey, have some fun in this second childhood.”

“I’m going to try.” I admitted. “Either it’ll go swimmingly or something bad is going to happen.”

“None of that sour attitude, otherwise you might stunt your own growth.” Maud chuckled.

She gave me another hug then walked out, and in walked Barb.

“So, will I be seeing you in my classroom at some point?” She asked with a small laugh.

“With what Tina wants then most likely.” I said, looking down sadly. “I’m sorry Barb…”

“For?”

“Everything…” I sighed bitterly. “So much could have worked… and now it probably will never work…”

“... Button.” Barb sighed, sitting next to me on the bed. “Has our relationship ever been a romantic one?” She asked. I looked up at her, confused. “We are nerds. Short and sweet. Two nerds who get lonely, despite you having all that outside this door, you still get lonely and we helped each other with that. Yeah we went on dates and have a kid… but we never really were a couple, and to be honest I never wanted us to be a couple. You have this huge big family that adore you, and that’s incredible, but I never was nor wanted to be part of that to begin with. I was happy to have you when you were free and our kid is doing well. I just hope that when you can, you can meet them and we can all be nerds together.”

That is exactly what I feared… “At… least we're still friends… nerdy friends.” I admitted.

“Don’t be upset.” She sighed, patting my back. “We will always be friends, with benefits… though, in sixteen years please… though I guess if Tina asks me to babysit you I can set it up as a playdate for you and Violet.”

“Yeah…that would be nice.” I said. “Just… so worried about all of this screwing up all my relationships it’s…it’s getting to me…

“Have some faith in your partners, and yourself.” She said. “Also don’t expect special treatment when you start school. Pass or fail depends on you and your study habits.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Yeah yeah.” I chuckled. “You’re not my teacher yet ya know?”

“Three years will be short.” Barb chuckled. She pat my head and left.

I sighed, but heard the door close and looked up. Ginger!

“Hey, I see you look as tiny as I heard.” Ginger laughed as he walked up to me. “Long time no see.”

“Hey Ginger.” I said. “How are you doing?”

“Keeping busy, raising a kid and running a club, haven’t had much free time for some me time.” He chuckled. “Thankfully this crazy pink fox lady opened this bookstore/daycare so little Sage can be taken care of and make friends while I’m busy.”

“And here I am screwing everything up…” I sighed bitterly. “Unable to take care of our kid, maybe help you with your club and just…so much…”

“No offense sweet, but you only go to my club to drink and for our meetups. Enjoying it and running it are two very different things. As for Sage, well, I’m sure you two will get along once you meet them. He’s a total screen junkie.”

“I mean… fair, but my relationship with you and Sage are…not going to be good sadly because of this…”

“It’s not the worst relationship I’ve had actually.” He chuckled. “Trust me, I’ve been around. This hiccup is at least salvageable compared to past experiences.”

“Got more hope than me I suppose.” I admitted. “But… I’m glad to hear that there is hope.”

“Nowhere to go but up really.” Ginger said with a chuckle. “Just try not to sneak into my club before you’re of age.”

“I shall try.” I said honestly.

“Good. Heh, I’ll see you around alright?”

“Alright, see you around.” I said, giving Ginger a quick hug.

With a hug back, Ginger then put me back on the bed and left with a wave.

Well… that all went… pretty well actually.