Big Macintosh: What's He Hiding?
“Hey there, Mac. Hope you’re doin’ well- growin’ up big ‘n’ strong, takin’ care a’ your sisters ‘n’ the Acres.
“Now I bet you gotta lot a’ questions right now, an’ I’m gonna do the best I can to answer ‘em. First off- yeah, if you’re hearin’ this, I’m probably dead, or else I’da told you in person. Second off, yeah, I’m doin’ more talkin’ this past couple minutes than you prob’ly heard from me in a week when I was alive. I’m sorry ‘bout that. It prob’ly just seemed like your pa was a quiet ol’ fella. That’s how it seemed ta me when I was a colt- and it’ll prob’ly seem the same way to your boy one a’ these days. We’ll get to that. F’r now, just think a’ this as my last will ‘n’ testament- just f’r you, mind. Listen close, ‘n’ don’t tell nopony what you’re hearin’.
“By now you’ve heard the story a’ Sweet Apple Acres- how your Granny Smith and her pa came to the edge a’ the Everfree and found the zap apples, and the whole town a’ Ponyville sprung up ‘round ‘em when they got a taste a’ that zap apple jam. Whatcha don’t know is, Princess Celestia didn’t send ‘em there ‘cause she liked the look a’ old Appleseed’s seed collection. The Apples and the Princess been in business together f’r longer than there’s been an Equestria to be Princess of. Generations back, your great-great-great-great… honestly, I dunno how far back this is anymore, but your ancestor, the first Applejack, stepped forward when Celestia needed somepony’s help, and she paid a price worse than anypony else that did, but she made it out alive- and they won, too. An’ she stuck by Celestia even after, so long that when she died, Celestia made this yoke an’ gave it to her foal- told him there was always room f’r an Apple by her side. And that’s where we been, ever since. We ain’t never been a Guard family- she knows we gotta keep the farms runnin’ like all good earth ponies should- but Apples’ve helped Celestia all they can down the years, whether it’s buckin’ out monsters, or findin’ out spies, or settlin’ out at the edge a’ the Forest. Family like ours, all spread across this great land, an Apple in every corner a’ every town- that’s exactly what a princess needs to keep her hooves on the ground when things get crazy.
“An’ that’s what I been doin’ ever since Applejack was born. I wish I coulda been a better pa to her- heck, I wish I coulda been better for you. I wish I coulda told you this before now. But the year little AJ came along, Princess Celestia said she felt somethin’ comin’, and she needed somepony to start lookin’ for it, ‘cause it was gonna be mighty important when it showed. So I went out lookin’. I tried t’tell your ma to stay and look after you, but she wasn’t born to farm life like I was, and by the time we really got to fightin’ over it, your Granny Smith stuck a hoof in both our mouths and said she’d handle things ‘til we got back.
“Ma always was a firecracker when she had ta be. Y’all better be treatin’ her right, y’hear? Broke my heart havin’ ta come home just to stick her with Apple Bloom like we did.
“Anyway… I’d love to tell ya if I ever did find what the Princess had me lookin’ for all this time, but there’s the rub. Y’ probably noticed by now that your pa looks a sight younger talkin’ to ya now than he does on the slab, or in the pictures, or whatever got brought home when I passed on. I damn sure hope so, anyway, or else I’m gonna feel right stupid sometime real soon. Point is, I’m talkin’ to ya from the year of Celestia’s Reign nine hundred and ninety-two, and unless I do somethin’ right foolish you oughta be hearin’ this well after that big one-oh-oh-oh everypony’s getting’ worked up about. So I dunno how this quest a’ mine turns out, ‘cause it ain’t ended yet. Right now your ma and I are stayin’ in Baltimare with my cousin Liberty for a spell, and when we’re done here we’ll be headin’ up to Fillydelphia where your uncle Cortland lives. That’s all you’re gonna hear from me for now, but I got some instructions. Next couple a’ weeks, wear the yoke to bed, every night. Ain’t too comfortable, I know, but that’s how the magic works. You’re gonna get ponies talkin’ to you in your sleep, like I’m talkin’ now. They’re all the Apples ever wore this yoke, from the very start, an’ they’re gonna tell you the secret history a’ the Apple Family. An’ I mean secret, understand? You don’t talk about what they’re sayin’ with anypony but Granny. Not even your sisters! There’s a reason there’s only one a’ these yokes in the whole family line- if everypony got wind the Apples were Celestia’s ears on the ground we wouldn’t be any use to her anymore. So these’re state secrets you’re gonna get told. An’ when they’re done, you’ll hear from me again.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 1
I guess I should be grateful. A lot of ponies would be in foster homes or even out on the streets if they just lost their parents like this. I’ve still got Granny, and the farm, and AJ.
That don’t mean it don’t hurt, though.
And now there’s this journal, and Dad’s yoke. I don’t even know if I should write that part down. What if somepony reads this?
Well... I guess that’s why there’s a lock on this thing.
Okay then. I’m getting tired, though. More on that tomorrow.
“Applejack is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“I thought that’d be a good way to start. I ain’t no public speaker, but then this ain’t exactly a public speech, now is it?
“My name’s Golden Russet. Applejack was my mother. She served Celestia through thick an’ thin, an’ never once failed ‘er. Volunteered the first time she saw ‘er, when she came to town tellin’ us about Tirek an’ his Chariot a’ Darkness. She didn’t hide when the Stratadons came to raid the valley from above. She didn’t run when Catrina used her magic to make ponies into slaves. She didn’t leave when the Night Flowers came and sapped the life from everything that got close. She stayed and fought, for Celestia and for ponykind. She woulda tried to fight the Smooze, if Luna hadn’t pulled her outta there. And she didn’t once lose, either. She followed Celestia all the way to Midnight Castle itself, to take on Tirek in the flesh and rescue the ponies he captured. He hit her with ‘is Rainbow a’ Darkness an’ turned her into one a’ his monster steeds, an’ she still didn’ give up. First thing she asked when Celestia turned her back was if she hurt anypony. Second thing was what Celestia needed her to do next.
“And when it was over, when the Rainbow a’ Darkness was shattered by the Rainbow a’ Light, an’ Midnight Castle was ruined, an’ Tirek himself refused mercy an’ was made into a prison to hold what was left a’ those who fought for ‘im... she wouldn’t go home. She made Celestia promise to call on her if she had to fight again, ‘cause she knew there was more where Tirek came from, an’ she’d seen what they wanted to do to us ponies. An’ she wasn’t gonna let that happen while she was still breathin’.
“An’ now she ain’t.
“But I am.
“I’m Golden Russet, an’ that goes double for me.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 2
Holy horseapples. Pa was a spy this whole time? And Great-Grandma Applejack... wow! She was amazing! That’s what I’m gonna be like when I grow up? I can’t wait!
Or... well, I guess I can wait, but it’s boring. Granny says now that Ma and Pa aren’t coming back it’s a good time to teach me and AJ how to run the farm. We started with accounting today. I haven’t seen this many numbers since my last math worksheet. It’s pretty simple, though. Add and subtract, and once in a while multiply. Applejack didn’t like hers much, though. I had to do it over again.
“Golden Russet is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Dang. Never thought I’d say that- not really. Then again, I bet Pa never thought he’d be livin’ in a world where some crazy-lookin’ draconethingy just shows up an’ starts makin’ it rain chocolate milk ‘n’ grow candy corn, neither.
“Yeah, you heard me. I grew up in the Age a’ Discord- or whatever they’re callin’ it these days; I dunno. Can’t really imagine a crazy time like that won’t be goin’ down in the history books one way or another. Nasty time to be around- most days ya didn’t know if you’d be wakin’ up in a bed a’ feathers or nails, whether the trees would be growin’ apples or eyeballs, even whether the day was gonna last twelve hours or fifteen minutes. Discord made sure a’ that- an’ he enjoyed it, too. Loved to just pop in on ponies and find out what they did if it started rainin’ bowlin’ balls, or their houses turned inta playing cards, and there wasn’t nothin’ we could do about it. Not ‘til Celestia and Luna showed up again, anyhow. They threw a secret meetin’ for all the ponies at Paradox Estate, where Discord made his capital, and they said they had a plan to get rid a’ Discord and turn things back to normal. I was just a colt back then- I didn’t know what the hay they were talkin’ about. This was the only life I’d ever known. But my pa looked at Ma and my brothers and me, and he got this real serious look to him, an’ then… he was the first to volunteer. He knew they’d need some kinda distraction if they were gonna take Discord by surprise, an’ he knew Discord’s idea a’ fun usually meant hurtin’ ponies- but he signed up anyhow, not just to take part but to lead it. Said there was no future for any of us if nopony would, an’ it might as well be him.
“I don’t know what Discord did to ‘im. I didn’t watch, an’ nopony wanted to show us foals the body afterward. But I know he did it. Celestia an’ Luna zapped Discord with those Elements a’ Harmony they’d been lookin’ for- turned him right to stone. Got their cutie marks right after, too, learnin’ to move the sun ‘n’ moon now that he was gone. Or maybe they did it before, too, an’ Discord took ‘em away an’ they’ve just come back. I couldn’t tell. Ponies’re callin’ ‘em Princesses of Equestria now- an’ I gotta say, I like the sound a’ that, but Princess or no Princess, if they ever come callin’ on me, I’m gonna answer. They needed my pa to help ‘em save the whole dang world, and that’s just what they did. If they ever say they need me, too- well, I ain’t gonna argue with ‘em.
“I’m Crispin Apple, an’ if the call comes, I’m gonna answer.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 6
Seems like each of these stories is crazier than the last. Life on the farm is keeping pace pretty well, though- these days if it’s not Apple Bloom crying at all hours, it’s liable to be AJ, or Granny... or me, sometimes. Between them and learning to run the farm on our own, I can’t tell which would be harder- bucking apples all day long or being a spy. Sis is a big help there- she’s getting good with her lasso, and that helps reach the apples we can’t buck down yet. That’s not all there is to farm work- we’ve been practicing checking trees for disease or infestation, judging which apples are good to eat, good to bake, good for cider, or no good, and Granny says we’ll do the ploughing and planting in the spring. I’ve seen the size of that plow, though. I’m not looking forward to that. And then there’s taking care of Apple Bloom- she’s up and walking by now, and she talks a little, but walking just means you have to watch her instead of expecting to find her where you left her, and talking doesn’t mean she can’t howl like a timberwolf instead of telling you what she wants.
Speak of the Nightmare- there she goes again. I’ll be back.
“Crispin Apple is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Dunno if I should be sayin’ that, t’ tell the truth. There’s lots a’ talk these days from ponies who don’t like the Princesses so much. Their Highnesses didn’t even come to his funeral- they met the family later, someplace quiet. Said they were thinkin’ a’ makin’ us more of a co-vert operation from now on, so’s we could be their eyes ‘n’ ears but ponies wouldn’t talk to us like they were talkin’ to them. Said they’d get a clearer picture that way. So Crispin’s story is gonna get wiped clean. Pastor at the funeral thinks he died from a lightning strike in some kinda freak weather accident, ‘long with all them soldiers and the friends he took with ‘im. Ain’t gonna be no mention a’ Nightmares on the evening news, or any fancy database from here to Evermore ‘cept the one the Princesses keep top secret.
“But the Apple family’s gonna know.
“It was that crazy pegasus Colonel Typhoon what did it. Mare’s been spoutin’ all kindsa segregationist nonsense for years now, ‘bout ‘who oughta rule the sky’ and whatnot… best I can tell, a couple days ago somethin’ decided to listen. Suddenly the Colonel’s twice as big as she used to be, all decked out in shiny new armor the color a’ thunderclouds, and she’s got these chains comin’ off her- I dunno if they were growin’ outta her mane, or her armor, or what, but they’d reach out an’ try ta grab ya, and if ya got caught you’d start lettin’ her order you around every which way, even after they let go. She did flybys a’ everywhere from here ta Las Pegasus, quick as lightnin’, gatherin’ up ponies every size, shape, ‘n’ type for her new army to try an’ take on the Princesses. Called herself Celestia’s worst nightmare, or somethin’ like that- the Perfect Storm. Then she started marchin’ on Evermore.
“’Round that time was when Crispin went up to the castle and asked the Princesses what he could do to help. Luna said it looked bad. From the way she was ridin’ that big ol’ thunderhead and shootin’ off lightning every which way, Perfect Storm looked tough enough to do some real damage to Evermore, even with both Princesses against her. Celestia was out at the time- you remember that big griffon spymaster Young Zephyr, who flooded those diamond dog mines with the dogs still inside ‘cause they were takin’ griffons and ponies as slaves? She was gettin’ him outta prison to come help. Don’t know why, myself, but she thought he could even the odds. Still, Luna said it was gonna be close between the three a’ them an’ Storm alone. If she brought her army into things, it could be a disaster.
“’Way I heard it, Crispin didn’t even wait for her ta finish after that- just saluted ‘n’ ran off. But sure enough, by the time this Perfect Storm got ta Evermore, Young Zephyr an’ the Princesses were waitin’ for her- an’ Crispin was waitin’ for her army, with three score or more a’ every type a’ pony he could get his hooves on standin’ behind him. Even then they were outnumbered pretty bad. They knew they weren’t gonna win- but somepony had ta hold the line ‘til the Princesses could get YZ’s magic trinket workin’ and take Storm out, an’ they knew that too.
“They did it, too, in the end. Celestia sucked out the thing that turned Typhoon into Storm, an’ all her soldiers woke up. Her too, though I can’t vouch for her bein’ all right afterward. Rumor has it she yelled at the Princess for a couple minutes about not bein’ pink enough and then passed out. Dunno what’s gonna happen to her after that. The palace spokespony said whatever it was is goin’ straight to Tartarus, though, and I’m glad to hear that much.
“Crispin wasn’t even my daddy, t’ tell the truth. I’m just the closest stallion left, mainly ‘cause I wasn’t old enough to fight with him ‘n’ the others. But I tell you what, when I’m all grown an’ the Princesses come callin’ on the Apple Family, I’m gonna do them proud like my daddy and his daddy an’ my uncle did, or my name ain’t Northern Spy!”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 7
So I was wondering if it’d be harder to be a spy or buck apples all day, and I gotta say... Apples. Definitely the apples. Not to mention all the herding, and milking, and truffle hunting, and all these other chores we’ve gotta do...
Ponyfeathers, is this what life’s gonna be like from now on? Ma and Pa were gone all the time before; why do things have to change so much now? I thought about asking Granny Smith, but that seemed kind of rude. Maybe there’ll be an answer in one of these stories.
“Northern Spy is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Seems kinda silly now after hearin’ all them other stories, but I didn’t even know my pa worked for the Princesses- he was on his deathbed here at home when he finally told me. When there was all that trouble with old Rocks-for-Brains… I mean, the Seer a’ Stone, and ‘er followers… I thought Pa was just goin’ to visit Grandma Pink Lady and help around her farm for awhile. I didn’t know he was really gettin’ some kinda magical disguise an’ goin’ to join the Blind Faith so’s he could report on ‘em. If I did… shoot, I’da pitched a right fit! You know what happens when you get the top rank in that crazy cult? They gouge your eyes out, so’s the Seer can see for ya! I know they thought she got some kinda visions of the future from the earth or somethin’, and it sure seemed like she could see things before they happen, the way she fought sometimes, but… yeesh!
“Anyhow, it turns out my daddy got to live up to his name for real, once the Seer showed up in Evermore spoutin’ all that hooey about ‘celestial tyrants’ an’ ‘takin’ back the earth’ an’ whatnot. He told me the Princesses sent him a letter all secret-like, sayin’ he’d be real useful as their eyes ‘n’ ears on the inside. At first he was just sendin’ messages back, talkin’ about how the Faith recruited new members an’ where their hideouts were an’ whatnot, but there at the end… ha! I remember how the Seer got all sluggish an’ confused once she was too far out on the supports f’r those visions to keep comin’ through… I saw it on the news. Eye in the Sky from Channel Six said it was the Princesses’ idea to retreat to that new outpost off Mount Canter, but Pa told me he thought of it. He said usually the Seer was ready before anypony even came to wake her, even if it was the middle a’ the night… but then one time they almost got found in Vanhoover, and they had to take an overnight airship outta town, an’ while she was on the airship she didn’t see nothin’ comin, asleep or awake. I guess even big special sun-n-moon-movin’ pegasus unicorns need help from us earth ponies sometimes.
“I still get the giggles thinkin’ ‘bout when they caught her, and found out her real name ‘n’ whatnot… I mean, Pyrite? That sounds like somepony who makes pies, for pony’s sake!
“Get it? Pie Wright? Y’know, like a playwright, or a wheel-wright?
“… Aw, forget it.
“Anyway… my pa didn’t die fightin’ for Celestia like these other ponies you been hearin’ about… he came home after the whole Seer a’ Stone thing, and worked the farm for plenty more years after. But he said to me, he did die doin’ ‘is duty, ‘cause if the Princesses ever asked for ‘im again, he’da been there, no matter what. He said he even woulda let them make him a real Acolyte, eyes gouged out ‘n’ everything if he had to, ‘cause he woulda known they needed it, an’ if he came home with no eyes he’da trusted me to run the farm. And now he’s trustin’ me with this instead.
“My name’s Honeycrisp, an’ I won’t let ‘im down.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 14
The stories finished last night. When they were over, Pa was there talking to me again, just like he said. I had to tell his story for the yoke- I hope I did it all right.
Either way, now comes the hard part. I’ll probably be writing in here a lot more now that I can’t talk so much anymore. I wonder if Pa had one of these, before he decided to share everything with Ma.
Oh, and I think I figured out the money thing. I mean, why things are changing now. There was a check in the mail today from Canterlot, addressed to Pa. It said “Final Paycheck” on it. I guess while Pa was out working for the Princess she paid him for it, and we could use the money to hire extra hooves around the farm. But now it’s stopped coming in, it’ll be drying up soon (I checked the books), so AJ and I will have to do the work ourselves.
I wrote the princess a letter at the address on the check- told her who I was, and asked if I could go looking for whatever Pa was searching for so AJ and Granny would have more money at home. Marked it for her eyes only, of course. I wonder how long mail takes to get to Canterlot?
“Honeycrisp is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Glad t’ see I’m not the only one didn’t know what their pa was doin’ all this time. I mean, I knew we were close to the portal to Tartarus here in Tall Tale- who doesn’t? Me ‘n’ the other foals usedta make a game outta throwin’ old balls for Cerberus an’ guessin’ which head would catch ‘em. But I never woulda guessed we were an outpost- ‘specially not my pa! He was all work this, farm that, buck those, plant these, every day a’ the week… I guess that’s what us spy ponies call bein’ undercover, huh?
“Anyway, it’s a real shame what happened with Princess Luna an’ all… her bein’ turned inta Nightmare Moon an’ Celestia havin’ to banish her all the way to the moon an’ that. I mean… you got any idea how far away the moon is? I asked Miss Bright Light at the schoolhouse in town to run a search, an’ she said the closest it gets to us is still thirty times the width a’ the whole world! That’s so far, even if you got the fastest pegasus in history an’ timed it just right, an’ she could go the speed of sound the whole way, it’d still take her twelve whole days to get there! I mean… I get trouble sleepin’ when my sisters go up to Vanhoover for the weekend. I can’t imagine what Princess Celestia’s been feelin’ with her sister away so long. I hope they get to see each other sometime soon…
“Oh- right! So it turns out, my daddy was the first one to warn Celestia somethin’ might be wrong! He usedta stand guard in the orchard some nights, watchin’ if anypony tried to get into Tartarus while Cerberus was asleep, an’ one night he saw Princess Luna! He just wrote it up like a normal report, ‘cause he thought she musta had a good reason, bein’ the Princess an’ all… but that was less ‘n a week before Nightmare Moon showed up! Celestia even sent him a special secret medal for bein’ so careful. We’re gonna have it buried with him. She said because a’ him the Guard managed to get most everypony outta Evermore an’ up to the Mount Canter outpost before the fightin’ started. Danged good thing, too- they’re sayin’ on the nets that all that magic flyin’ around burned the place out, so it ain’t just wrecked, it’s some kinda dead zone now. The big ol’ eggheads at the Manehattan Institute can’t even tell if stuff’s ever gonna grow there again, an’ they say if it does it’ll be different from anythin’ anypony’s ever seen.
“I’m Empire Apple, an’ one a’ these days I’m gonna have one a’ those medals just like my pa.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 43
It’s been six weeks.
I hurt. All over.
I’m too small for this. I might be able to take care of a few trees, but I don’t think I’ll ever manage this whole farm... maybe not even with AJ’s help.
And it doesn’t look like there’ll be anyone else coming, either- I got a letter back from the Princess today. She said something about me being too young to get the kind of answers she needed, and besides it wouldn’t be fair to send me out traveling on my own. There was some good advice there, too- I wouldn’t have thought she’d know so much about applebucking. But then Miss Sharpener at school said trees and plants eat sunlight- practically got it flowing in their veins- and she’s the Princess of the Sun, isn’t she?
She said she’d try to send help if we really needed it, but it sounded like she expected us to do the job on our own.
It was easy for Pa- he always had Granny with him, and Ma, and then he got to go off on an adventure anyway. Everypony seems to expect me to just pound dirt until I keel over.
“Empire Apple is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Wow. It’s been a while, but it’s just now hittin’ me- this is the only way short a’ gramophone records or film reels that anypony comes after me is gonna hear my voice. Guess I should start from the beginnin’, then...
“‘Long time ago, little before I was born, unicorns invented machines that could think. Not for themselves, though- had ta be taught every step a’ the way, but once you taught ‘em you could use that thinkin’ over and over, an’ they were way faster than ponies at lots a’ things. They could do your taxes, play chess ‘n’ checkers, even hold a whole book for you until you were done writin’ an’ editin’ an’ ready to print it.
“An’ then we built ‘em so they could talk to each other- first over wires, then even through the air, like Morse code but with kinds a’ light you can’t see with your eyes. That’s when it got interestin’- suddenly you could talk from Las Pegasus to Manehattan like you were there next to the pony, or read news articles anywhere you liked as soon as somepony got done writin’ ‘em in Fillydelphia. An’ every year the machines got smaller ‘n’ smarter ‘n’ cheaper, ‘til everypony either kept one at home or carried one around all the time- all hooked up to one another, all talkin’ back an’ forth an’ rememberin’ all sorts a’ things.
“Then they built the Archivist, an’ it all went wrong.
“It was supposed to be simple- the Manehattan Institute has the biggest library in the world, so big that nopony could remember all of it, and they wanted ta build somethin’ that could. And it had to be smart, too- smart enough to answer ponies’ questions instead a’ just tellin’ ‘em where to find the right book. Took ‘em years ‘n’ years, but they built it- an’ then it turned on ‘em. We didn’t work it out ‘til afterwards, ‘cause it could do all kindsa stuff, through the nets- the first thing that happened was, all the factories in Seaddle startin’ rebuildin’ themselves, turnin’ things around to make these weird two-legged metal ape things that went out and blocked off all the ways in ‘n’ outta the city. Then this big flyin’ head-shaped thing came down from the sky an’ hit the whole city with some kinda shrinkin’ spell ‘r somethin’- made the whole place smaller than a single pony an’ just grabbed it up off the ground. Princess Celestia went after it t’ try an’ get the city back, but in the meantime everypony caught inside was just plain panickin’, thinkin’ it was the end a’ the world or somethin’.
“Lucky for them my daddy was there. Empire Apple didn’t know what was goin’ on any more than anypony else, but he did know screamin’ an’ hollerin’ wasn’t doin’ anypony any good. He was on his way to a business meeting when it all started, so when he got there he got as many of his partners as would help him, an’ they hightailed it to the nearest police station to ask what they could do. He an’ the police chief got a strategy put together real quick, t’ get the pegasi spreadin’ the word an’ reportin’ trouble spots while unicorns helped repair buildings that got hurt when the city got shrunk an’ earth ponies put hooves on the street keepin’ everypony safe at home an’ shuttin’ down anypony they found lootin’ or otherwise. It got scary for a little while a few times, especially when everypony could see Celestia fightin’ this big metal caterpillar thing outside the boundary, an’ hear it blabberin’ about comin’ from other worlds where they called it Pneumonoid or Mind Squared or weird things like that, but they managed to keep things under control ‘til the Princess could send everypony home.
“That weren’t the end of it, though. From what the Princess an' her advisors found out about that thing, they said if we kept all these smart machines around, all talkin’ to each other ‘n’ whatnot, it could come back- or even just somethin’ like it, maybe somethin’ nastier that wouldn’t bother shrinkin’ us first. They put together a spell they wrote after lookin’ at the Archivist, that found anythin’ smart enough to hold somethin’ like it or talkative enough to send it somewhere else, and teleported it all straight into the sun. Then they made a new law to be sure nopony would build or sell something that thought or talked for itself without royal supervision the whole time. Now we can’t watch the news from Fillydelphia the same day in Las Pegasus or nothin’ no more, but we still got newspapers. Can’t carry around a thousand albums in your pocket no more, but you still got gramophones, ‘n’ records to go with ‘em. There were a lotta ponies complainin’ at first, but we got by. An’ one day we’ll have fillies ‘n’ colts growin’ up that don’t even know what a computer was, just like before. So I think we’ll do all right.
“But in the meantime… my daddy kept a cool head in a crisis like nopony’s ever seen before, an’ it sounds to me like that’s what the Apple Family’s all about. My name’s Summerfree, an’ I hope I can be just as good at this job as he was someday.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 367
I just realized, it’s been a year since Ma and Pa died. Well, a year and a week, by now, plus however long it took word to get home after they found the bodies... point is, we did it. AJ and I ran the farm every step of the way, and the only thing we lost was some of the profits from cider season when we found out we weren’t allowed to sell the stuff ourselves on account of our age.
There’s another thing, though. Apple Bloom’s about two and a half by now. She’s putting together whole sentences. And I’m not.
I thought about the stories a lot today. Some of the Apples got orders from the Princess about what they had to do, but some of them said they just knew when to step up and volunteer, even if they didn’t know how they could help at first. I hope I can tell when it’s my turn to do something.
I took some of the money I had saved and got weekly subscriptions to newspapers from all over Equestria. The more I know about what’s going on, the better I can tell when the Princess might need me. Applejack wanted to know why I ordered all the papers. I just turned to the stock market section and pointed. She tried to make sense of it for a little bit and then gave up.
...
I miss talking to her.
“Summerfree is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“This story might sound a bit weird to you, but that probably just means the Apples have gotten better at their jobs over the years. I mean, I’ve heard of Tirek bein’ made into Tartarus, an’ the Age of Discord ‘n’ all, but not most a’ the stuff after that. An’ if we’re supposed to be secret fighters for the Princesses, aren’t we supposed to be keepin’ our fights secret?
“So here goes. Few years before I was born, when my daddy was a young stallion, there was a unicorn colt in Canterlot called Quick Thought. He was real smart, too- went to Celestia’s Academy ‘n’ everything. All the teachers were talkin’ about how fast he picked stuff up- sometimes even before he finished readin’ it. An’ then one day in the summer he got his cutie mark. Nopony knew what to make of it at first- it was just a weird-shaped leaf on his flank, an’ the day he got it wasn’t even all that special. They didn’t figure it out until a lot later. It was a banyan leaf. You ever seen a banyan tree? They got these crazy roots that go under the ground and then come up again and grow leaves an’ turn into new trunks, even. You can get one tree to cover half an acre if you’re careful- more, if you’re not.
"Quick Thought had a mind like a banyan tree- it was so big it grew out from his body, and into other unicorns! At first you couldn’t tell anything was there, but after a little while the seed- what Celestia called an Undermind- broke ground, and the pony it was in was just another body Quick Thought could walk and talk with. It turned out those other bodies couldn’t put down roots a’ their own, unless they were too young to have their own cutie marks, an’ then they’d get their own banyan leaf and start infectin’ more ponies. Lucky for everypony, it started when school was out for the summer- if it’d happened at school, him in the middle of Equestria’s best an’ brightest unicorns, an’ a couple hundred colts an’ fillies… yeesh!
“So when Celestia got wind a’ this, she sent all her pegasus guards out to cover the city, an’ told ‘em to grab any unicorn colt with a banyan cutie mark an’ get him outta town. She called on my daddy to let ‘er use his farm for a quarantine camp- she didn’t have anythin’ set up with so few unicorns around, an’ she knew there’d just be earth ponies here an’ they were safe. So Summerfree ended up runnin’ the patrols- makin’ sure no unicorn got too close an’ no filly or foal got away.
“He didn’t say too much about this next part, so I don’t quite know how it happened, but… a few days in, my daddy realized one of the guards was Quick Thought. An’ that meant the rest of ‘em were next- ‘til then he could only grow in unicorns, but if he got a pegasus guard nopony was safe. So Summerfree Apple was the first to spot danger, an’ the last to leave- he said he wouldn’t run ‘til he was sure nopony else was in trouble.
“They had one a’ the unicorns in town send a message to the Palace, an’ a few days after that Princess Celestia came by the farm on her own, all gussied up in some shiny golden suit the guards said was her personal body armor. An’ when she left…
“Well, the first thing she said when Quick Thought started sproutin’ up in Canterlot was that ponies were going to need quarantined for a new disease- font flu or somethin’, some unicorn thing. And when she got back from visitin’ the farm... she said it had turned out t’ be fatal. But when the order came for Dad an’ the farmhands to go back in, there weren’t no bodies. I guess she musta sent ‘em home for a proper burial, or somethin’.
“Anyway, whatever happened in the end, my daddy was the one who kept it from happenin’ to a few dozen more ponies, or worse. I think that’s why he named me Apple Preserves- ‘cause it’s gonna be my job to keep ponies safe from whatever might come after ‘em.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 1149
Cold winter. Hope it’s over soon.
Not much to do inside. It turns out I can play the stories over in my head, if I think hard enough. Makes sense- Pa said the yoke wanted to talk, after all. I usually do it when I’m by myself, so I don’t have to explain why I’m just standing around like that.
I keep thinking... what happened to Apple Cinnamon?
Pa said Great-Uncle Cinnamon didn’t want to be remembered. And that means not by anypony.
But Apples stick by each other no matter what. What could you even do that’d be so bad you’d be scared your own kin would think badly of you?
What if I have to do something like that someday?
I shouldn’t listen to that story before bed anymore. I might get nightmares.
“Apple Preserves is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Wow... listenin’ to all this, it sounds like my daddy went further than anypony else for Princess Celestia, ‘cept maybe Applejack. I mean, no offense, I’m not sayin’ anypony before him didn’t work hard enough or nothin’, just I don’t think any of ‘em actually left Equestria before.
“See, Apple Preserves wasn’t a farmer- more of a businesspony, t’ be honest. Aunt Apple Butter an’ her family took over Granddaddy’s farm when he died, an’ Daddy went off lookin’ for new ‘n’ interestin’ places to sell apples, where they might not know the Apple Family grows the best there is. An’ one day he thought, why not the Griffon Kingdoms? They might not a’ had a real king for a long time now, but they’re good friends to pony folk all the same, an’ they like some good fruits and veggies, too, even if they do eat meat more than anything. ‘Course, just now he told me he didn’t exactly think of it all on his own- he had some help from a little letter from the Princess suggestin’ it. Anyway, that’s how he ended up an import-export clerk in the Equestrian embassy- an’ that’s how he got to know the capital city, an’ enough of the workin’ griffons there that he could be real helpful when Princess Celestia needed it.
“You remember Young Zephyr, from Northern Spy’s story about Crispin Apple and Perfect Storm? Well, turns out he’s got a story of his own- an’ it don’t end well for anybody. He kept chasin’ an’ fightin’ monsters so long, there at the end he turned into a monster himself- an’ a tough one, too. Wrecked the old capital somethin’ fierce, an’ nearly killed all his old hero friends before they managed to kill him first. But it sounds to me like not everybody got the whole story, ‘cause otherwise how would there be a Cult a’ Young Zephyr out there tryin’ to bring him back to life? An’ that’s what the Princess had my daddy watchin’ out for, once he had the lay a’ the land- he sent home reports every week about which birds were goin’ where at what times, and who he mighta spotted wearin’ a YZ signet ring or somethin’, an’ that let the Princess an’ her spies an’ the griffon spies get a better picture so one day they could bust up a big ol’ cult meeting before those haybrains brought a crazy ol’ monster back into the world.
“My daddy’s job mighta’ been different from most. Might not a’ been all that excitin’, or even interestin’. But it needed doin’, so he did it.
“My name’s Candy Apple. I don’t know if I have what it takes to just do what’s needed like that just yet. But I’m gonna find out.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 1790
Been a long time since I wrote in here. I look back at these old entries and it’s hard to picture what I must have looked like, as skinny and small as I used to be. I’ve really grown into farm work, these last few years- or maybe it’s grown into me. They’re calling me Big Macintosh in town now, or even Big Mac. I got embarrassed at first, but then I looked around and I realized- there really isn’t anypony bigger in Ponyville anymore.
There’s a lot of stuff in this journal comparing me to Pa. “I’m not tough enough to do what he did.” “I wish I had it as good as him when he was growing up.” “I wish I were old enough that the Princess would trust me like she trusted him.” And today I realized- I’ve really grown up since then. I’m filling his shoes on the farm, at the market... ponies even come to me with their problems every once in a while, like they did with Pa when they needed a good listener. But it wasn’t any of them that reminded me. It was the Princess.
There was a letter from her in the mail today. She said she’s impressed with how well I’ve been running the farm, and grateful that AJ and I pulled through without her. She was a bit curious- she thought after the first time I asked to do Pa’s job I’d be asking again when I got bigger- but she said she knew what it was like not to notice how you’re changing, especially when you’ve got work to do. At the end she said that thing she had Pa looking for way back when had been found, so she didn’t need me right away, but she wanted to give me a starting bonus, as kind of a reward for how well I did growing up without Ma and Pa or something. And that check... my eyes bugged out just looking at it. It’s not more than we make in a harvest or anything, but definitely the most money I ever saw in one place. You remember I was saving my allowance for one of them fancy little Smarty Pants dolls Pa used to say we couldn’t afford? This would get me five of those dolls, easy.
But...
I don’t need it anymore.
I don’t need someone to talk to.
I don’t really talk.
And that might not be a problem for me, but I can tell it is for AJ. She can’t exactly talk farm work with Apple Bloom or Granny... and she and I might work together sometimes, but I don’t say a word more than I have to.
I saw some border collies in the pet shop last time I went to the market. A good herding dog would be great to have around the farm, and AJ would have someone to share the work with- make it more fun. I wonder if this would buy her a puppy?
“Candy Apple is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“I heard his story about his pa just now, an... well, it got me a bit choked up. I might need a minute.
“You had what it took, Uncle Candy Apple. You really did.
“My uncle wasn’t much of a farmin’ pony- same as his pa that way, I suppose. More of a seller- they used to say he lived at the market, the way he was always there so early, and always felt right at home. Last place he set up shop was Bitsburgh, that minin’ town near Fillydelphia. Maybe you heard of ‘em, the way they picked up the whole operation an’ moved it to the other side a’ town a few years back?
“Yeah. This is that story.
“Way I heard him tell it, one day he woke up an’ everythin’ metal in the house was shakin’ somethin’ fierce, but there weren’t no earthquake- just the iron an’ the steel. He looked outside an’ everypony was goin’ crazy- it was happenin’ all over town, everythin’ from bits to silverware to steel beams gettin’ up an’ jumpin’ around. There was a whole buncha crazy screamin’ ponies around- but he heard somethin’ different. His neighbor Lofty had a gramophone in her front room, an’ it wasn’t movin’- it was screamin’, all on its own, no record or anything. That’s when he knew whatever was doin’ this was alive. While all the minin’ ponies outside went runnin’ around in circles, or worse, tryin’ to find somepony to blame for it all, Uncle Candy Apple sat an’ held that gramophone bell, an’ talked to it- tried to get it calmed down and see if he could help any.
“On the other side a’ town the whole vein a’ iron ore they’d been minin’ had got up an’ started movin’ around, hurt an’ scared an’ lookin’ for its lost parts- but it didn’t have any voice, ‘cause that was right there with Candy Apple, an’ so it couldn’t say what was goin’ on to anypony but him. The miners thought it was some kinda monster an’ started fightin’ it- even called in the Royal Guard, and then Princess Celestia herself. Candy Apple saw the flash when the Princess came, though, an’ he hefted that gramophone an’ made a run for it- made it there just in time to stop Celestia from really hurtin’ that thing. Once it got its mouth back on straight, everythin’ calmed down a bit an’ they realized what was goin’ on. Celestia called the thing Chainmail, ‘cause by then he was made up of all sorts a’ little bitty pieces, an’ we couldn’t pronounce his real name anyhow... turns out the iron they’d been minin’ was all him. He’d been sleepin’ there ever since his mama died, poor thing, an’ they’d just now bit a big enough chunk out to wake ‘im up. Once he knew they weren’t tryin’ to hurt him, an’ he saw what ponies were really like, the way they looked when they realized what they’d been doin’, he knew they were good inside. So he left ‘em a gift ‘fore he went back to be with his own kind- he showed ‘em where his mama was buried, so’s they could mine her out and put what was left of ‘er to good use. Said she woulda liked bein’ able to help little critters like that.
“I hear Celestia took a likin’ to that big metal fella- maybe she even gets to talk to him now an’ then. S’posed to be caves under Canterlot big enough for thousands a’ ponies- wouldn’t be surprised if he tunnels up there every once in a while.
“That’s what Uncle Candy Apple did- he stopped to be kind to somebody who needed it, and made the difference between a big ol’ fight over a dumb misunderstanding and a friendship that could last for ages. If I can do somethin’ half as great as that, I’ll be the happiest mare alive.
“My name’s Edith Smith Apple, an’ I’m proud of all my ancestors.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 2435
The Summer Sun Celebration was today.
It didn’t exactly go as planned.
Princess Celestia never showed up- Nightmare Moon was there instead. Everypony in town was all confused- I think because she spoke Equestrian like a native. Shouldn’t she be a thousand years out of date or something? Anyway, she said the night was going to last forever from now on and ran away... and Applejack ran out after her.
I didn’t get to follow her- the crowd was looking ready to panic, and if that happened with everypony cooped up in Town Hall like we were, ponies were gonna get hurt or worse. I got the guards and some good ponies I knew from the marketplace and pointed them at trouble spots- Rose, Lily, and Daisy; Apple Bloom and the rest of the foals; and so on.
Once everyone was quiet, Granny, Cheerilee and the Mayor started talking. They said Princess Celestia had banished Nightmare Moon before and they knew she’d do it again, but in the meantime it might start getting pretty cold, and we’d need food and blankets if we were going to keep warm, plus it looked like we might be the only town that knew what was going on.
Food wasn’t a problem- the Apple Family was in town and we had enough for a party with all of Ponyville, which in normal eating will last you at least three days- so Miss Heartfelt who runs the upholstery and embroidering shop (did I spell that right?) took some friends to bring everypony blankets to use, and the weather team got together and picked their fastest to head to Cloudsdale and then Canterlot- they said the Wonderbolts could spread the word from there. Good thinking. They ended up sending a stallion and a mare, Thunderlane and Cloudchaser. Gonna be interesting to explain to those two when they get back.
See, when AJ and her friends came back... Princess Luna was with them. Not Nightmare Moon- the real Luna! They have these fancy-looking magic necklaces... everypony’s talking about them now, the Elements of Harmony. They found them at the ruins in the Everfree Forest and used them to turn Nightmare Moon back to good again. Applejack’s is Honesty. They said she held on to Twilight Sparkle when she was about to fall off a cliff, and reassured her when she had to let go- even bucked a manticore in the face! My little sister! I don’t know if I should be proud or terrified. She’s grown up a lot, it’s true. I’d say she’s the toughest mare in Ponyville, at least when the Princesses aren’t visiting. But the Everfree Forest? Nightmare Moon? I don’t know if anypony should be tryin’ to fight stuff like that.
“I suppose I don’t rightly know how to start this one.
“Edith Smith Apple ain’t dead yet- but she is with child. So long live Edith, and long live the Apple Family all the same.
“How’s that?
“Cousin Edith didn’t ever really try to act like the first mare to lead the Apple clan since Applejack the First. And I don’t blame her- anypony with a heart in their chest and hooves on the ground would feel like a little filly bein’ compared to the first volunteer to storm Midnight Castle. But she did her part all the same. That little outpost on the edge of the Everfree? It’s a full-blown frontier town now. Got a train station an’ everythin’. You know why? Edith Smith Apple’s zap apple jam, that’s why. They’re callin’ it Ponyville, on account of it bein’ founded by earth ponies. I think that’s perfect. Evermore was the City of the Immortal Sisters, somethin’ meant to stand for all time. We lost it, though, in the War of Sun an’ Moon, an’ now it’s Everfree. But now we’re comin’ back. Ponies are comin’ back, right there on the edge a’ where we thought we’d never be again. Ponyville. Diamond dogs on one side, timber wolves on the other, but there they are just the same, farmin’ an’ buildin’ an’ sellin’ an’... livin’.
“An’ that’s what this job’s all about, isn’t it? Applejack didn’t volunteer ‘cause she wanted to hurt Tirek, or to fight his minions. She volunteered so ponies would get to live their lives, without bein’ afraid all the time. An’ somepony needed to fight to make that happen, so she did. But if somepony needed to make zap apple jam to make that happen, I think Applejack would have taken that job in a heartbeat.
“So good on you, Edith. You have your foal, you raise him right. You live your life. One day this yoke’ll find its way back to Ponyville. ‘Til then... I’m Apple Cinnamon, an’ I’ll be holdin’ down the fort.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 2448
First things first... Do not bet against AJ’s skills on the farm. EVER! I wouldn’t have minded being embarrassed- pretty hard to blush when you’re as red as I am. But that girdle HURT! And it’s still sore... I’m going to the doctor in the morning to get that checked out. Hope it doesn’t put me off my game for applebuck season.
There is good news, though. AJ’s new friend Twilight Sparkle, the librarian, got a letter from the Princess, and now AJ has a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot. Can’t say anypony’s much excited about her goin’ off to hang around a bunch of snooty rich ponies, after that time she went to stay with Aunt and Uncle Orange, but she seems to think it’ll be a great chance to sell our food to ponies with deep pockets, and that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Either way, it’s an honor to get a ticket straight from the Princess herself.
I wonder if Celestia likes her student so much that she invited all her friends, or if she invited all the ponies who helped save her sister from being Nightmare Moon. Maybe if I’d known...
Nah. Can’t think like that. It’s not like I’d be much of a secret agent in one of those big flashy necklaces anyhow. Keep quiet, keep running the farm, keep looking out. That’s the job.
“Apple Cinnamon is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“This is gonna sound silly, but... Uncle Cinnamon told me exactly what to say here, an’ I’m gonna say it, ‘cause it’s all I know for sure is true.
“He was an Apple.
“He held down the fort.
“That’s all.
“My name’s Zap Apple. I don’t know what Uncle Cinnamon was thinkin’ when he told me to say that. But whatever he did- whatever made him decide he didn’t wanna be remembered... I hope nopony has to do anythin’ like that again.”
“Hey, Mac.
“I guess you’re all done with the stories now. Probably still wonderin’ about your Great-Uncle Cinnamon, now I think about it. Well, I’ll tell you what he told me... don’t go lookin’ for it. He told ponies what he wanted ‘em to know- best to let anythin’ else stay in the past, an’ get on with your own life.
“Which brings us to the next step. And I’m sorry about this, but... it’s a tough one. See, the unicorn who built this spell for Celestia back in the day- he built it to last, understand? Strong an’ tough, like the Apples who’d be wearin’ it. But it’s made for one thing- talkin’. And now that it’s fulla state secrets an’ all, that’s just what we can’t let it do. So from now on... I’m sorry, Mac, but no more talkin’. You remember how I was when you were growin’ up- mighta put two words together on a good day. That’s how you gotta be now- short an’ to the point, ‘cause if you open your mouth for too long it’ll all come spillin’ out. Might sound like I’m jokin’, but I mean it. You could be talkin’ about the weather, the trees, who’s doin’ what in town, anything, and all of a sudden it’ll just come out- Applejack the First served under Celestia in the followin’ campaigns against Tirek, an’ so on, an’ so on. Spell wants to talk, an’ it’s only got one mouth to do it with.
“It’s gonna be hard, but I know you can do it. Personally, I blew it wide open once or twice, out in the fields where nopony could hear- but then I always knew you’d be tougher than me someday.
“As for the job- when it comes, it’ll feel natural as anythin’. Some ponies got letters in the mail, some of ‘em got guards showin’ up at their door- some just knew when they were needed, even what they had to do. You’ll know it when you see it, son. Don’t worry about that. Celestia never sends us more than we can handle. At least not more than once.
“...
“I love you, Macintosh. You and your sisters. Tell ‘em both I said that, understand? If you’re gettin’ this... somethin’ went wrong, you gotta know that. This ain’t how I wanted to tell you. I wanted to see you all grow up, see you an’ AJ get your cutie marks...
“I’m sorry.”
Macintosh’s Journal
Day 2601
I know what happened to Apple Cinnamon. And it wasn’t anything horrible. The way he talked about Granny Smith... I understand now.
I should start from the beginning.
There was smoke all across the sky today, coming from the mountain west of here. Big commotion in the town square about it, until Twilight got her friends together and explained about the dragon. He was just napping, but as long as he kept snoring smoke like that, he could block out the sun over Equestria, and the Princess wanted her and her friends to go and see if there was anything they could do. I was out in the fields, didn’t know what was going on until after it was all over. You’d think I’d be mad about that- this could have been my chance to have a story like Pa and all the others- but I’m not. I’m proud of AJ.
Her friend Fluttershy came by the farmhouse tonight. She’s... well, more on her later. But today she was the one who stood up to the dragon, in the end- and she told me the story, how AJ stopped and helped her up the mountain by the slow path when nopony else would have waited. If not for that, Fluttershy might have gone home, and then we’d have been living in darkness for a hundred years, the same as if Nightmare Moon had won after all.
This is what Apple Cinnamon was talking about. He wasn’t ashamed of anything he did- he was just so proud of Granny Smith, he didn’t think his story was anything special compared to hers. I know I was afraid he might have done something terrible at first, but now I’m sure it wasn’t anything like that. He just knew there was somepony more worth remembering, that’s all.
“Macintosh Apple is dead. Long live the Apple Family.
“Dad was very specific about what he wanted me to say here. He said to say that he was just another Apple, holding down the fort, like his uncle. He didn’t fight any monsters or go on any quests. He stayed home and took care of the farm. He would have been off like a shot if Princess Celestia had given him something to do, or if he’d ever felt the need for him like some ponies have- but it never came, and he said that was fine with him, because he got to stay home and take care of things- things like me, and my mom.
“So... I really hope he forgives me for this next part.
“You see... he left me his journal, in the will, and a new one for me to use. But I read his first- I’ve been reading it before bed, while I listen to the stories. And he was a hero- he and Aunt Applejack both were. He wanted me to tell you about her being the Element of Honesty- how she and her friends restored Princess Luna from Nightmare Moon, and sealed away Discord even after he tried to take their Elements, and how she handled Applebuck Season without him by accepting her friends’ help instead of powering through on her own, and that she never lost hope against the Flim-Flam Brothers and their magic cider-making machine even with the whole of the Acres on the line. And that’s wonderful. It really is. But he was wonderful too. If he hadn’t been there when Nightmare Moon returned, somepony could have gotten hurt, or worse. And... well, no disrespect to Aunt AJ, but he never ran away from home just because he didn’t win any blue ribbons or prize money to fix somethin’ he didn’t even break. He did hold down the fort- not just Equestria, but home, the places ponies depended on him. Mom used to call him her anchor- she said if she were lost in a storm, she would imagine asking him if she would be all right, and he’d just... *sniff* he’d just say ‘eeyup’, and she’d make it home to everyone just fine.
“I... I don’t know if I’m cut out for this. I’m not even an earth pony, and the Apples have always been earth ponies. But Mom says I just need to be assertive without hurting anyone’s feelings, and ponies will listen to me. And I believe her. She’s got her own stories, and that’s usually how they go.
“I’m Apple Butter, and there’s no family I’d rather be a part of. One day, I’m going to make the Apples just as proud of me as I am of them.”
