A Clod in Equestria

by Silver Butcher

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Steven Universe, Grogar, Other, Comedy, Profanity, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Crossover
Length: 4170

A man wakes up in Equestria as Peridot, he is then forced to go and find an item of power for the one who summoned him if he ever want to go home, and to make thing worse he has to do it while also fleeing from a pink pony determined to befriend him

A man wakes up in Equestria as Peridot, he is then forced to go and find the Bewitching bell for Grogar if he ever want to go home, he has no idea how to use Peridot's body, no other options if he wants to go home, and to make matters worse a Peppy Pink Pony is determined to Befriend him at any cost.

Published 2020-09-29 13:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-12-16 09:47:39 UTC

Rational reaction

not to far out from Ponyville lay the Everfree forest, it was quite the confusing and dangerous place, with dangerous wildlife and unpredictable weather, along with being nearly impossible to navigate, It was quite possibly the worst place in all Equestria to wake up in, and yet wake up a very confused man did. It wasn't clear how long it took him to take full note of his surrounding, but the screaming was a good indication he had noticed. But with his screams came another problem, it wasn't his voice screaming out, it was a noticeably female voice. He made to grab at his own throat and instead hit himself in the face with the hard cylindrical object that was now his arm, this did not help him to calm down in the slightest.

"What the hell is happening!?" Peridot demanded as she got to her feet and stumbled for a moment as she tried to use the unfamiliar body "Why am I in a forest? Why am I a chick? Why are my Fingers floating?" Peridot attempted to move her hand and ended up choking as one of her fingers flew into her mouth, as Peridot tried to figure out why she was Peridot and how to use her body an onlooker stood in the shadows watching her in silence.

"Not what I had in mind," he said as Peridot ended up falling on her face and swearing angrily, the figure coughed into his hoof and took a raspy breath "But I suppose in my state I should be thankful the spell didn't end my existence," The Figure made his way out of the shadows and advanced to Peridot, who was still very angrily trying to use her own hands. No progress had been made by the time Peridot noticed the figure.

"Oh great," She said in her panic-induced anger "I'm in a scary-ass forest, I'm a fucking Cartoon Character, and Now the Goat Grim reaper is here," as she said this her fingers continued to spin around her hands with no clear rhyme or reason.

"You seem tense," The Goat remarked.

"Oh Really?," Peridot asked irritable as she motioned to herself and ended up with several fingers in her hair "I'm Peridot!"

"Seems an odd way to introduce one's self," The Goat remarked.

"That's not what I-" Peridot let out several noises of anger before motioning to the Goat with her Hand stumps, "What do you want Death Goat?"

"I am Grogar," He said simply as he pulled back his hood, revealing a very sickly-looking blue goat that's fur was full of grey patches and bald spots. "I am the father of all monsters, and I am a Ram, not a Goat, there's a difference," Peridot gave no indication that she cared for any of this information. "I am also the one who summoned you to this land and put you inside the body you currently reside," That got Peridot's attention but before she could say anything to him Grogar continued speaking "I used the last of my Magic to do so," He said pointing to a small bell on his collar that was now broken "I require something that I am not capable of obtaining myself,"

"Ok," Peridot said, anger noticeable in her voice "But why-"

"You were a human," Grogar replied simply "And humans can't exist in this world, it took longer than I would have liked, but I managed to summon you here while also preventing you from turning into anything native to this world, resulting in you taking the form and powers of whatever creature you had last seen that was native to neither your world nor this one. As for the why part, I didn't, the spell did, all I did was narrow the search to find someone that would gain the ability to protect itself and then you popped into existence,"

"That doesn't make me feel better goat boy," Peridot cried back "Send me back now!" Grogar looked at Peridot like she was stupid before pointing to himself.

"Ram," he repeated "Used the last of my magic," He also repeated pointing to the broken bell "You wanna go home, your gonna have to do what I tell you, faster it's done the faster you go home," Peridot was about to snap back when Grogar added "Furthermore you have until the rising of the next Full moon to do your task and return to me, failing to do so will result in you being trapped in this world for the rest of your days," Peridot stood in silence as Grogar began walking away from her and back to the shadows "Just so you know that's about 8 days after the end of today so you might want to get a move on," Peridot stood in shocked silence for a moment before screaming at the Ram.

"At least tell me what I need to get and where the hell it's at!"

"Your task is simple, find and Retrieve my Bewitching Bell, I don't know where it is or who has it so good luck with that," Grogar disappeared into the bushes and left Peridot standing alone in the clearing still trying to control her own fingers.

"That doesn't help at all," She screamed at him "I don't even know what the dam thing looks like!?" Peridot received no reply from the Ram "At least tell me how to get out of this stupid forest!" After receiving more silence Peridot walked to where Grogar had been and found a gnarly tree. "Mother fucker turned into a tree," She said angrily as she looked around the small clearing. Mostly out of exasperation than anything Peridot sat on the ground and took a deep breath.

"This is stupid," She declared as she used all her willpower and intelligence to make her fingers stop spinning, she ended up making it worse as the ones on her left hand began spinning faster and faster, more to keep from killing herself with her weaponized hand she held it out as far from herself as she could, suddenly the spinning hand started pulling her slowly across the clearing, she let out a sharp yelp and held her hand strait up to avoid flying into a tree and ended up flying straight up, Peridot scream was lost to the wind as she flew higher and higher in the sky until she finally stopped gaining altitude and ended up flying with a bunch of Spikey clouds.

"Oh I hate this," she decided as she floated along with the wind with little to no control. As Peridot floated with the wind she continued trying to control her hands and ended up making the other spin, this resulted in her going from puttering along to rocketing into the distance. In an attempt to take control, Peridot tried raising both hands up and instantly her spinning fingers hit each other and came to an immediate stop. "Oh come on!" Peridot said angrily as she continued flying through the sky thanks to her momentum, "This is so stupid," She groaned as she rubbed her face, it took a moment before she blinked in the realization that she had just rubbed her face, she looked at her fingers and moved them on her own accord. "I did it," She cheered when she suddenly felt the pull of Gravity taking her down. "Spin!" She demanded of her hands, she watched as each one of her fingers spun around, instead of a propeller she just looked like she had tiny buzz saws for fingers "Fuuuu....," her declared was lost to the winds as the last of her momentum dissipated and she dropped like a rock.

Peridot tried to land on her feet in the vain hope it would stop her from dying on impact, and with a splash, she landed feet first into a river, She had her eyes shut tight but after noticing she was neither dead nor falling she opened them and found her legs stuck knee-deep into the bottom of a river. "Oh come on!" she cried out, her words coming out as nothing but bubbly noise, thanks to being Peridot she had no fear of drowning, just a fear of spending forever at the bottom of a river. She began trying to pull her legs free, first by using just her leg strength, then by pulling on it with her floating fingers, and finally by flailing like mad and screaming in rage, before she could finish screaming up bubbles a life preserver broke through the surface of the water and latched around Peridot in an impossible fashion, trapping her arms to her side in the process. Peridot had just enough time to question what had just happened when she was suddenly pulled on and her legs were pulled free of the ground, a second pull freed her from the water and she ended up standing on the shore, she was soaking wet and her legs were coated in mud.

"What just happened!?" She demanded in confusion as she tried to free herself from the life preserver.

"Are you ok?" A peppy voice asked, Peridot just had time to look at where the voice was coming from before its owner jumped on her back and freed her from the Life preserver, it was a very pink pony.

"Oh great," Peridot groaned "A bubblegum pony,"

"Hi," she greeted as she jumped off Peridot's back and somehow gripped her hand with her hoof "I'm Pinkie Pie, who are you, what are you, do you like Parties, when's your birthday, why'd you go skydiving without a parachute, why do you have floating figures, why is there a Gem in your forehead, wanna be friends, do you know what the Square root of 25 is?"

"Throw me back into the river please," Peridot said without hesitation, this deterred Pinkie in no way.

"You're funny, you look hungry, do you want a tour of Ponyville?, what's your name, you seem kind of lost do you need a map,"

"Unless you know what the Bewitching Bell is I have no interest in talking to you," Peridot said firmly as she tried to escape from the Pink Pony.

"I know all about that," Pinkie cheered causing Peridot to freeze in her tracks.

"Oh," She groaned.

"Soooo," Pinkie said scooting in closer to Peridot "You answer my questions I answer yours," Peridot looked down at Pinkie who was grinning ear to ear.

"Shoot me now," Peridot groaned "Alright Pie pony-"

"Pinkie Pie," Pinkie corrected.

"Alright Pinkie Pie," Peridot amended with a sigh "What are your questions?"

"I'm so glad you asked," Pinkie cheered as she grabbed Peridot's hand and practically dragged the gem in the direction of Ponyville "Let's talk over a Milkshake!"

Author's Note

this story was made 100% because a fair number of readers are disappointed in how my Displaced Spinel story is going, and since I want them to enjoy something I write I'm now going to be making this story and taking great care to try and avoid making Discord seem like a heartless douche. Vaalintine this chapters for you.

Perry and Pinkie

Peridot did her best to look inconspicuous as she sat in the corner booth of a Sweetshop full of Ponies staring at her as she and Pinkie shared a Milkshake. It was less sharing and more Pinkie Drinking it as she asked Peridot question after question.

"I think it's 5," Peridot said as Pinkie continued asking questions.

"are you hungry?" Pinkie asked as she shook the Milkshake at Perry.

"I am not," Peridot said as she leaned away from the Milkshake.

"You want a tour of Ponyville?" She asked before sucking away at her treat.

"No, I'm good,"

"What's your name," Pinkie asked in excitement.

"Perry," She replied before blinking "Perry Peridot," She grumbled angrily "Dammit that goat,"

"So do I call you Perry or Peridot?" Pinkie asked "Cause you can Call me Pinkie, but if you wanna call me Pinkie Pie you can,"

"Peridot's fine," Perry replied as she did her best to ignore her own name.

"You need a map?" Pinkie asked.

"I do actually," Perry replied, Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a map from Equestria.

"Alright your turn," Pinkie said with a shine in her eyes "What do you wanna ask,"

"Where can I find the Bewitching Bell," Peridot asked, Pinkie took a deep breath and Peridot pulled back a little as the Pinkie pony went to town on her answer.

"Well a few months ago the villain's Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy glow all used it to steal Discord and the Princesses magic, but then we defeated them, and then I used it to become the God of Chaos for a few glorious seconds before giving the magic back to Discord and the Princesses who then turned the villain's to stone, then they where all like, what do we do with this thing now it's like super dangerous, and then Discords was all like I have an idea, and they asked what the idea was and then he went and put it back at the top of Mt.Everhoof in a cave protected by a force field that can't be entered, and now it's part of the Magical wonders of Equestria Tour!" Pinkie took another deep breath and suddenly jumped over the table and latched onto Peridot, who instantly tried to throw the pink pony off her.

"I just had the most amazing super idea!" Pinkie shook Peridot as she spoke "Lets you and me go on the Magical wonders of Equestria Tour!"

"You literally just met me," Peridot snapped back as she tried to escape from Pinkie's grasp "You don't even know me that well,"

"Your name is Perry Peridot," Pinkie said instantly "Your Birthday is in 3 months, you wanna see the Bewitching Bell so you must like Rare magical artifacts, you have robot hands, your not from Equestria, your favorite treat is a Root beer float, and you have a great sense of fashion if your cool visor is anything to go off of," Peridot looked at Pinkie for a long while before replying.

"How did you know I like Root beer floats?" She demanded "I never told you that,"

"I could see the look of longing in your eyes when you were looking at the menu and deduced it was what you were looking at," as Perry continued her vain attempts to escape from Pinkie and Pinkie continued her quest to befriend Perry a particular resident who had been watching intervened to save everyone some time.

"Hey," He said getting their attention.

"Hi Cranky," Pinkie cheered when she saw the Donkey "This is my need friend Perry Peridot,"

"Yeah ok," Cranky replied before pointing to Perry "Listen I dunno what you are, but I can assure you from experience that it's quicker to just say ok and live with it, she'll just wear you down with time anyway," Peridot raised her hand to respond but Cranky just waved her off "Trust me, any plan or words you try will only inspire her to try harder," Peridot frowned at how sincere the Donkey sounded. "I just wanted her to leave me alone when I first met her, and she ended up finding my long lost love," Peridot frowned before groaning and holding up the Leg that Pinkie had attached herself to.

"Fine," She said irritably "Pinkie I will go on the Magical Wonders of Equestria thing with you if you release my foot," Pinkie instantly detached.

"Give me 30 seconds to get our tickets and get packed," Pinkie disappeared in a puff of smoke and left Peridot alone, with Cranky already leaving. Peridot groaned as she sat back in the booth and looked at Pinkie's half-drunk Milkshake before laying her face on the table.

"I can already tell this is gonna be miserable," she declared as she waited for Pinkie to return, her wait was even shorter than Pinkie said it would be.

"I got the tickets," She cheered as she held them up "several days of traveling Equestria by train to each and every rare one of a kind magical wonder it has, all of the ones that they were allowed to add to the tour anyway" Pinkie scooted next to Peridot and showed her a Brochure.

"First we're going to the Crystal Empire to see the Crystal heart, then we go to the Tenochtitlan Basin so we can see the Truth Talisman of Tonatiuh, then we go to Canterlot to see Staff of Sacanas, Then we come back here to Ponyville so we can see the Magical cultural artifacts, and Finally it ends with a hike up Mt.Everhoof so we can see the Bewitching bell!" Pinkie squealed as she hugged Peridot. "Oh you and I are gonna have the best 7 days of our lives!" It took a moment for Perry to process that before she fully realized what it meant.

"I have 8 days to get the bell, it's gonna take 7 to get to it which means I'll have a day at best to get the stupid thing to that stupid Ram," Peridot took a deep breath when Pinkie suddenly stared pulling on Perry's arm.

"Come on Perry, our train arrives in 20 minutes, let's get some Root beer floats for the road!," Pinkie merrily jumped over the table and bounced to the counter leaving Peridot alone again. "7 days of Pinkie, and if I mess up it's gonna be the rest of my life with Pinkie," Peridot faceplanted the table and groaned "I hate this place so much,"

The start of a long trip

Peridot and Pinkie stood in silence, though more accurately Peridot stood in silence trying to read the Map she had been given while Pinkie bounced in place excitedly as they waited for the Train to arrive. The station was less than busy and any ponies who happened to be there were to busy staring at Peridot to leave, she figured that they were trying to figure out exactly what she was but she had no interest in talking to them. The only reason she was even going with Pinkie was due to having no idea what this Mt.Everhoof looked like, much less where it was. She was trying to find it on the map but it had so many 'helpful' notes on it that she still hadn't found where the map part was supposed to be.

Peridot was just reading a note on how many refills you were allowed to have before having to pay for the drink again on the Friendship Express when said Train pulled into the station and Pinkie hurriedly dragged Peridot to the train and into the train car as soon as it opened.

"Oh I'm so excited," Pinkie said as she looked out the window "My friend have all been super busy and we haven't gone on an adventure since Twilight's Coronation, but now I get to help a new friend and see my old ones!" Pinkie jumped on the seat and Peridot looked around the train car, judging from the look of it they were in the train's restaurant car if the menu's on their table was anything to go off of, Peridot looked at the menu and instantly noticed it was all priced in bits.

"I have no money and no concept of how money works in this world," She said bluntly as she stared at the menu in silence.

"Don't worry bestie," Pinkie said happily as she put a hoof around Peridot's chest, being a little too short while seated to reach her shoulder, "Your old pal Pinkie has more than enough funds to pay for this trip," The Pink pony winked at her before adding "you can just temp at Sugar Cube Corner for a while to pay me back," Peridot frowned at that and added it to the list of reasons not to fail in her mission before looking at the menu, it was all vegetarian in one way or another and in the end she decided to just get a large drink and a chip basket. Peridot looked out the Window before Pinkie spoke up again.

"So, since we're gonna run into them at some point on our trip would you like to know about my friends?" Pinkie looked at Peridot with excitement who met her gaze dully.

"Was that an actual question or are you going to tell me regardless of what I say?" Pinkie answered Peridot's question very curtly.

"Since we're going to the Crystal Empire first we're gonna run into Rarity first since she's there on business so I'll tell you all about her first-" Peridot sat in silence, barely taking in anything Pinkie said as she explained in great detail everything she knew about Rarity. Pinkie only stopped for a brief second to thank their waiter before going back on her educational Rarity lecture. Peridot dipped her chips in the complimentary Queso and did her best to not look like she wasn't listening so Pinkie wouldn't restart the lecture.

"-I'm not really sure where the fainting couch comes from," Pinkie said as Peridot actually began listening "I don't think anyone but Rarity knows where it comes from, Anyway back on topic, Rarity loves fashion, do you like fashion? cause I like it sometimes, but it's not something I'm particularly worried about," Peridot sat up straight and looked around save for a hat or two she noted that none of the ponies around them were wearing clothes.

"Fashion?" Peridot asked in confusion, Pinkie abruptly cut off what she was saying and changed topics. "Oh yeah Rarity loves fashion, she's preparing a Fashion show in the Chrystal empire as we speak, She's been preparing it for like ever and so long as no delays happen it should be starting next week," Pinkie let out a gasp and leaned in towards Perry, who leaned away from the Pink Party Pony as she got closer "You should show her you cool visor, I bet she'll make you an ever cooler outfit to go along with it, maybe she can make you some handless gloves for your fingers!" Peridot stared Pinkie in the eye and said very simply.

"I can't even begin to think of a reply to that," she shook her head "What even is a handless glove?"

"oh it's like a glove but it's only the finger parts of it," Peridot stared at Pinkie for a moment before slowly leading down and setting her head on the table, staring off into space.

"This might be the rest of my life," She said in realization "This might never stop," Pinkie very clearly took her dread the wrong way.

"I know!" She cheered "You and I could be best friends forever, I'll run the counter, you can deliver the food to the tables, you can run the counter while I'm out on deliveries, you can even live in my room!" Peridot slid over and slammed her face into the table as Pinkie began talking about all the things they could do together.

"Are you like this with everyone?" Peridot Muffly asked into the table.

"Well, most ponies I meet haven't just been summoned to another world" Pinkie smiled as Peridot slowly rose off the table.

"Explain why you know that," she demanded.

"Well it's kind of obvious you're not supposed to be here," Pinkie said as she gave Peridot a once over "And you remind me of Twilight's stories of humans in that other world, so, judging from your determination to find the bewitching bell, you're hoping that using it on yourself will suck out all the magic in you and since you were brought into this world with magic, that magic would no longer link you to this world and you'd be sucked back in your world," Pinkie shook her head "Although I can't quite figure out how you found out about it," Pinkie shrugged "But I also don't know why you went skydiving without a parachute, but I'm sure we'll grow to be such good friends that you'll tell me before you try and de-magic yourself," Pinkie Smiled at Peridot who stared at the Pink Pony. She didn't say anything but all she could think while starting at Pinkie was

"I feel like you are both my only hope, and the only thing standing in my way," She turned back to her chips and started eating them, Pinkie smiled before looking away and frowning.

"Alright good, I planted the idea in her head, a good last resort in the event I can't convince her not to give the bell to Grogar," Pinkie scratched her chin, deep in thought on how she was going to convince Peridot that Grogar would more than likely betray her in the end.

Author's Note

The next chapter will show how Pinkie knows what she knows.