Anon's Deep Tissue Massage

by Shakespearicles

Rating: mature
Tags: Anon, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spa Ponies, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Ember
Length: 128750

Anon becomes a deep-tissue massage therapist in Equestria. Like... elbow-deep.

Anon had a normal life of being a massage therapist. And then one day he accidentally opened a portal to Equestria. As the only human in this new land, it would be a shame if his magic fingers went to waste.
So he decides to work as a deep-tissue masseur at the spa with Aloe and Lotus. Ponies from all over Equestria come to work out their problems, stress and kinks. Anon: part-time masseur, full-time therapist.
Now about that happy ending...

A comment-driven episodic story. Each chapter focuses on a different character. After each chapter, YOU, the readers, nominate and vote on who you want to visit Anon for a massage next! Simply comment which character you want to visit, and the comment with the most upvotes will be next! It can be any creature from MLP, even an OC! If your character doesn't get the most votes, don't despair! You can always nominate them again on the NEXT chapter.

"This has so much heart for something that, at the end of the day, is just a pornographic marathon. Really gives it a lot of staying power." - clerfamerg

"I read this from start to finish in one sitting. I couldn't put this read down. It was a slow-motion train wreck; One that you wanted look away from, but couldn't, because I needed know what happed next. The sheer amount of shenanigans, the comedy, and the blatant abuse of innuendos and puns. A must-read! If not for the clop; For the character-building, comedy, and of course, the shenanigans. - JazmineDawn

Audio Reading

Proofread by Sollace

Published 2020-10-17 19:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2025-01-18 16:58:59 UTC

02. Roseluck

Roseluck sat in a chair in the Ponyville spa lobby while she waited for Lilly and Daisy to finish their appointments. She looked up from reading her magazine when Lyra Heartstrings walked out of Anon's massage suite and into the lobby.

Lyra looked like she was practically glowing. She had a goofy grin plastered across her face and she was walking askew like she'd had too much to drink. Behind her, Anon had just washed his hands and now stood in the doorway of his suite, toweling them dry.

"Are you waiting for me?" Anon asked Roseluck.

"No," Roseluck answered. "I was waiting for my sisters to finish, and then I was going to make an appointment."

Lyra cut in. "Oh you don't have to make an appointment. He's available now."

"Oh, no, I was going to-"

Lyra cut her off. "And he's amazing! You should get a mane massage!" She leaned in closer to Rose. Her voice was practically trembling as she whispered. "Amazing." Lyra looked back at Anon and winked before she left the spa.

Rose watched her leave and then looked at Anon, still unconvinced.

Anon leaned against the door frame and put the towel over his shoulder. "Look, I get it if you don't want a massage from the weird human. But I promise I don't bite." Roseluck pursed her lips. He could tell she was considering it after Lyra's glowing review. But she was still not sold on it. "I'll tell you what, give it a try, and if you don't like it, you don't have to pay a single bit."

Roseluck grumbled and put her magazine back in the waiting room caddy. "Fine. I suppose Princess Twilight wouldn't be letting you walk around town if you were dangerous."

"That's the spirit," Anon said. "I'm Anon, by the way. So what were you interested in doing today Ms...?"

"Roseluck," she introduced herself. "I usually get a hoof massage and a hooficure. But what was Lyra talking about when she said a mane massage?"

Anon looked at Roseluck. She was just an earth pony without a unicorn's horn to make things... weird. "It's exactly what it sounds like. A mane massage." Anon placed his fingers on top of his own head, simulating a massage.

Rose scratched the top of her head with her hoof. She considered giving it a try. "Maybe after. Hoofsies first." She trotted past him inside his suite and climbed up onto the massage table. He had taken a minute to wipe it down, sanitize, and replace with a fresh sheet after Lyra's... enjoyment.

She extended a hind leg back to him, expectantly. He grabbed the bar stool from the corner of his suite and sat beside the table. Aloe and Lotus gave him a crash course on hoof massage. It turned out that aside from a few minor details, a pony's hoof wasn't all that different from a foot, in terms of massaging.

She twitched slightly at his first contact. But his touch was firm yet gentle. He was able to rub the soft 'palm' of her hoof, the frog, without tickling her. He looked at the rose cutie mark on her flank.

"Gardener, I take it?" Anon asked.

"Hmm?" Roseluck asked, looking back at him. Anon nodded at her cutie mark. "Oh, no. I mean, sometimes. But my sister, Daisy is the one with the real green hoof."

"You mean green mane?" Anon asked. "Her hoof looked purple."

Rose rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

Anon chuckled. "Yeah, I do. I was just being funny. So what do you do then?"

"I'm in charge of the floral booth in the Ponyville marketplace."

"Ah, I see." He pressed his thumbs into her frog and made small, circular motions, rubbing out all the stress of being of her hooves all day in the marketplace.

"Ooh, Lyra wasn't kidding," Roseluck said as she looked back at him. It was hard for her to see exactly what he was doing, but she could feel it. The fine dexterity of his fingers were able to precisely massage each small part of her hoof far better than even the skilled hooves of the other spa staff.

"I try my best," he said. "So you work with your sisters all day? That must be... nice?"

"Hmmf," Rose sighed.

"Is it not?"

"No, it is. Most of the time," Rose said. "But I see them all day at work, and then we all go home together and I see them all evening at home. And we go everywhere together."

"Like the spa?" he asked.

"And I love them but..."

"Sometimes you just need a break from them?"

"Yeah."

Anon shifted his seat over and started on her other hoof, giving it the same treatment before moving up to her pastern. Anon had learned that the homologous body structure of a hoof was like a human walking around on their tip-toes. The pastern was like the arch of the foot in that position. He gently rubbed the tendon, pressing and stretching it, relieving the tension there.

"It makes it hard to have a special somepony," Roseluck continued.

"To... date?" Anon asked.

She nodded. "Yeah. Like how am I supposed to bring somepony back to my house when my sisters are there? And I can't just kick them out. It's their home too."

"Well what about his place?" he asked.

"Well... it's complicated," she said. "Firstly, he doesn't really have a 'place'."

"What, is he a homeless bum?" he asked.

"No no! He's a doctor. But his place moves around."

"What, like a mobile home?" he asked.

"... Kind of?"

"What kind of doctor lives in a mobile home?"

"I... I'm actually not sure," Rose said. "There's a lot about him I still don't know. But that's not the biggest problem."

Anon rolled his eyes. "Oh boy, here we go. This is the part where you tell me he's married."

"No," Rose answered. "Well, not exactly. But he does have another companion. It makes it hard for him to make time for me."

"Mhmm." Anon switched back to the first hoof and moved up to the fetlock, which for a human on their tip-toes, would be the heel of the foot. Above that was the cannon, or calf of the leg, and Achilles tendon. Rose's was tight as a piano wire. It took some doing to help it relax. "Well, if you're not enough of a priority to him, for him to make time for you, then you need to ask yourself if he's really worth the trouble."

"Oh, getting into trouble is something he excels at," she said with a wistful smile.

He finished up on massaging her canon. "You said you wanted a hooficure?"

"Mhmm," she acknowledged, only half paying attention with half-lidded eyes.

"Did you want that now or..." Anon said as he paused his massage, "or did you want me to keep going?" He was at the back of her hock, (kneecap). Any higher would have his hands on the back of her gaskin (thighs), and then after that was...

"You can go ahead and..." Rose had to catch herself and think clearly. "Uh, you can do my hooficure now, is what I mean."

"Alright." Anon slid his seat back and stood up. "Hop off and I'll incline the back of the table so you can sit." He helped Rose down and her legs wobbled like jelly. She stumbled and he caught her.

"Oh my goodness!" Rose gasped.

"I'm sorry! Are you okay?" Anon asked.

"I- I feel amazing!" she said, steadying herself. Anon adjusted the table and he helped her back up to sit upright on it. He pulled open a drawer in the base of the table and took out the hooficure kit. He set it on the tool bench beside him and laid out what he needed. Her hooves were not too bad, so he eschewed the coarse file for the finer grade, bringing her hooves to a smooth edge, and then a mirror shine.

"What color did you want?" he asked, looking at the trays of hoof polish. "Just a clearcoat?"

"Rose," she said. Anon looked hopelessly at the endless shades of red. "Red 17," she added. Anon quickly found the bottle of light red with the number 17 on the cap. Applying hoof polish was more or less the same process as nail polish. Just more of it. He made long, smooth strokes, careful not to make streaks or bubbles. Soon all four of her hooves looked dazzling, the rose red matching that of her mane.

"Alright, make sure you give that several minutes to dry," Anon said.

"Yes, yes. I know," Rose said. For a moment they both just sat there. "So about that mane massage...?"

"Yes? Did you want to try it while you wait for your hooves to dry?" he asked.

"Sure. My hooves feel great, and they look even better. I'm curious to see how you can make my mane feel," she said, giving him a slightly-dubious smile.

Anon stood up and walked around behind her seat. He brushed his fingers through her mane a few times. Each time he pushed deeper into her hair until he reached her scalp and he started to gently rub. He gradually increased the rubbing to a proper massage, varying his pressure and gauging her reactions. He started in the midline, near the natural part in her mane and he worked his way out to either side.

Roseluck failed to stifle her moan when he reached the base of her ears.

"Is this... okay?" Anon asked. Roseluck made short little excited nods of her head. If ponies were anything like cats or dogs, then they must probably enjoy ear scratches, Anon reasoned. He started rubbing again, first behind her ears so as not to startle her again and then he worked his way closer. He started at the base of her ear and kept a close eye on her as he started gentle massaging up along the outer edge.

She was much larger than any cat he had ever met in person. But he could swear she was purring. But it was so deep, he didn't hear it, so much as he felt it. Like her whole body was vibrating at a sub-audible frequency. He ran his fingers up and down along the outer ridge of her ears, gently rolling the thin membrane between his fingers and his thumbs.

She started to squirm in her seat. Her purring didn't get any louder, but more intense. Anon realized that she wasn't purring or even vibrating. It was her leg shaking involuntarily as he rubbed her ears. Rose made some incomprehensible sounds. "B-ah bah gah..." Her brain had gone from that of a sapient horse to... pudding. She bit her lip to try to keep herself from moaning out loud. But she kept squirming in her seat as though her non-existent panties were in a bunch.

She put one hoof up to her face to help quiet herself, while her other hoof went... elsewhere. Her leg was shaking harder and faster to the point that Anon was certain it was about the fly right off of her in a moment.

"Let's check on how Anon is doing," Aloe said, opening the door. She shrieked, and then so did Lotus. Lilly and Daisy fainted behind them.

Anon jumped back from the noise, and Rose leaped off the chair in reflex. That was when Anon saw Roseluck, and why Aloe and Lotus had screamed. Rose looked like a murder victim. Without thinking, she had gotten her red hoof polish on herself and at a glance it looked like blood. And it became quite obvious just exactly where she had been touching herself. Rose caught her reflection in a mirror and screamed, herself. She knew it wasn't blood. But the hoof polish was going to be a nightmare to get out of her fur.

"Anon can, you get my next appointment while I help Rose?" Lotus yelled. She didn't wait for a response as she quickly escorted her to the shower room while Aloe scrambled to get them some hoof polish remover.

"If they'll have me," Anon grumbled. He walked over to the front desk and opened his ledger. Her wrote in Roseluck's name and then put in the amount next to her name. "Zero bits."

The door chimed, and he looked at the pony that had just walked in. Her eyes looked back at him.

Or, at least one of her eyes did.

Author's Note

983696

03. Derpy

A grey pegasus mare stood in the spa doorway. From under her pale-yellow mane, her amber eyes looked at Anon. Or, at least, one of them did. The other one was looking at... the magazine rack, maybe? The official emblem on her saddlebags told Anon that she was carrying-

"Mail!" she announced. She flapped her wings to loft over to where Anon was standing at the front desk. Her flight path took a wild twist and turn sending her sprawling onto the floor as she slid to a halt at the base of the front counter.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Anon asked, helping the pony to her hooves.

"I'm okay. I'm just overdue for a preening," she said. Her... more-behaved eye looked behind Anon. "Is Lotus here?"

"Oh, are you her next appointment...?" Anon flipped through Lotus's appointment book, "Mrs. Hooves?"

"Miss." she corrected. "But you can just call me Derpy. Everypony does."

"Your name is Derpy?" Anon asked. "What, did your father not like you?"

"I don't know. But my mother loves me!" she said, her endlessly-positive demeanor just as bubbly as her cutie mark. "You're Anon, right? The human?"

"Last time I checked."

"Fluttershy told me about you. You look exactly like what she described," she said.

"Um... thank you? I think?" Anon said. Derpy stood there for a minute, looking at him. And the clock. Lotus was usually quite punctual. It was unlike her to be running behind. "Oh, right, Lotus! She's running behind. She's uh, dealing with a... hoof-polish emergency."

"Oh." Derpy didn't frown, but her smile vanished. "Well, I don't have time to wait around." She gave her mail bag an emphatic shake. "Neither rain nor snow nor... crooked feathers, I guess." She turned to leave.

"Wait, a sec,"

"I can't wait," Derpy said. "I have all this mail to deliver today, and if I can't fly, it's going to take a lot longer."

"I could do it," Anon said. "I mean, I've never done it before, but I understand the process. And it certainly can't make your wings any worse." She seemed unsure. "It would be worth not having to get around on hoof, right?" he asked.

Derpy shuffled her hooves, visibly nervous around the human for the first time.

"But you're a stallion human, right?" she asked.

"You mean a male? Yes. Is that an issue?" he asked.

"I- well, I don't know. You're not a pony so... I guess not," she decided.

Anon wrote Derpy's name into his leger and led her into his spa suite. She shuffled off her mail bag and climbed up onto the bench, facing longwise with her back to him and she splayed out her wings.

He sat down next to her on the bench, straddling it with his legs and facing her. "So why don't you preen yourself?" Anon asked. "Fluttershy does it by herself."

"It's hard for me to see things that up close," she said. "I don't have very good depth perception."

"Oh. Right, right." Anon placed his palm against her back, between her scapula, establishing the contact as so not to startle her. Fluttershy had explained preening to Anon. She would regularly take time to check over her wings for old or damaged feathers and pull them out to make room for a new one to replace it. But it was something she always did herself.

He ran his hand up along the leading edge of her left wing. Her wing still twitched a bit at first. He felt along for any feathers that were damaged or misaligned. There were quite a few.

"Alright, so I'm just going to... pluck these out, alright?"

"Mhmm," Derpy said, acknowledging his words and bracing herself somewhat. He plucked the first feather that very obviously needed to be removed. "Ah!" Derpy said, in a sort of half-yelp, half-sigh.

"I'm sorry!" Anon apologized. "Did that hurt?"

"No- well, yes, but... Wow this really is your first time, huh?" Derpy asked.

"Yeah. Sorry."

"No, it's okay," Derpy said. "It does hurt a little, but that's normal. It really does feel better once it's out though. Like a bad tooth."

"I guess that makes sense," he agreed.

"The first one always gets me though," she said. "You can keep going."

"Okay."

"So I get to be your first?" Derpy asked. "That makes this kind of special, doesn't it?"

"Does it?" he asked.

Derpy turned her head a bit to try to look at the human sitting behind her. "N- no. Never mind." She sounded both disappointed and relieved.

Anon continued working. Plucking the next feather made Derpy hum a stifled noise. After that one she was able to keep herself quiet. The silence was a bit awkward.

Anon tried to break the tension. "So what do you like to do when you're not delivering mail?"

"Oh, my daughter takes up all my free time," Derpy said.

"Ah, yes. Being a parent is a full-time job isn't it?" he asked.

"It sure is," Derpy agreed.

"Does her father usually help with this?" Anon asked.

"Her father... isn't around," she said.

"Oh." Anon didn't know if that meant her father was dead, or simply out of the picture. But he knew that neither case was any of his business. He focused on what he was doing with her wing, giving a few suspicious feathers a light tug to check if they were ready. "That must be... challenging."

"Sometimes..." Derpy said. "But I get by with a little help from my friends. It's not like I'm alone."

"That's good to hear. Everybody needs somebody sometimes."

"Yeah..." she sighed.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"No, it's just that... there is somepony I've been seeing."

"Oh? A special somepony?"

"No. Not yet. I'd like him to be. But..."

"But what?" he asked.

"I don't think he really sees me that way," she explained. "We're good friends. But I don't think he'll ever see me as more than just a companion. My mom would have loved to hear that I married a doctor, but I don't think he'll ever want to settle down."

"A doctor, huh?" Anon asked. "What kind?"

"He's... actually I don't know," she said, as though realizing it for the first time.

"I don't suppose he's the one that lives in the mobile home is he?"

Derpy laughed out loud. "I don't think I've ever heard anypony describe it that way! But yes, that's him. How do you know the doctor?"

"Oh, I don't, really," Anon said. "I've just heard about him. A little."

"He's nice," Derpy said. "But I need someone more stable."

"Phrasing."

"What?"

"Horse puns. Never mind." Anon had to really reach out to get the last few feathers at the tip of her wing. Derpy noticed this and backed up a bit closer to help him reach before he switched over to do the primary feathers on her other wing. She backed up a little closer. He didn't need to be as close, so he backed away a little, putting his back to the wall behind him.

With each pluck of feather, Derpy shifted on the bench just a tiny amount. It went unnoticed at first, until the dock of her tail bumped against his belt buckle. The sudden contact made her tail swish from one side of the bench to the other, smacking the underside of Anon's chin as it went. He looked down. The volume of her tail still covered her butt and now his lap.

"You're a little close," he said.

"It's okay," she said. Though it wasn't really her he was concerned about. He started to work as quickly as he could.

"Alright. All done!" he announced.

"You have to get the secondary feathers too," she said. She leaned forward and angled her wings to show him her feathers on the underside of her wing. She laid her head on her forehooves against the bench and waited.

It would just be more of the same work. Anon had become quite good at it, and worked as efficiently as he could. A few more errant feathers plucked and she had pushed herself back against his pants. He did not realize just how warm ponies were. Or rather, just how warm she was in a very localized, specific place. And the fact that she was pressing it against a very specific part of him.

"Almost done, almost done," he repeated out loud, mostly for himself, as he moved over to the other wing. She had practically pushed herself up onto his lap. Her hind legs were flexing from side to side like she was waiting for the little filly's room.

Lotus opened the door suddenly, "Anon, I'm so sorry I didn't realize I had scheduled a pree-" she gasped and covered her mouth, turning even pinker than her sister. "Oh my goodness!"

Derpy jumped off the bench and stumbled across the floor, looking just as flushed as Lotus. A string of words came rushing out of her mouth. "Thank-you-very-much-for-the-preening-Anon-I-feel-much-better-now-I-need-to-go-deliver-the-mail!" Derpy grabbed her mail bag and ran for the door, colliding with Roseluck. Roseluck, whose fur was now clean of hoof polish, looked at Derpy. For a moment, their eyes met, and everything else around them didn't matter.

"Derpy," Rose addressed.

"Rose," Derpy greeted. Neither were particularly cordial. Derpy continued toward the door, stopped at the last second, and ran back. She tossed a bag at Anon, "Keep the change!" she said before flying away. Anon wasn't sure exactly what had just happened. But Derpy's wings were clearly working better, and he got paid.

"Um... awkward turtle..." Anon said, making a goofy hand gesture to break the tension.

Roseluck blinked and looked at him. "Right, Anon," she said, grabbing her bag. "I just wanted to tell you that it was... it wasn't your fault that my hoof polish got... in my fur," she said. She moved away from Lotus to speak more quietly. "And your... mane massage was-" she trembled. "It was really good. I'll have to come back again some time. Just... without the polish." Rose gave him his rated pay and then left.

Anon felt a gentle breeze as the door opened. It gave him a slight chill. He realized that a particular spot that had been quite warm a couple minutes earlier was now cool, and damp.

Author's Note

316239

04. Zecora

Anon had made quite a bit of money for his first day. But as he walked home from work that evening, he couldn't help feel like it was... wrong .

Home was a small cottage on the edge of town, at the border of the Everfree Forest, where he had first appeared in this world. It belonged to the quiet yellow pegasus that found him in the forest and probably saved his life. He opened the door to the cottage and walked inside.

"How was your first day of work at the spa, Anon?" Fluttershy asked from her couch. She sipped her cup of tea as Anon kicked off his shoes and hung up his jacket on the coat hook just inside the front door.

He looked at his hand. The one he had used to jerk off a unicorn's horn as a 'happy ending' massage earlier that day. He had washed it multiple times, but it still felt... dirty.

"It was... strange," Anon said as he looked at Fluttershy. She appeared concerned at the tone of his words. "Hey, does this world have... prostitutes?" he asked.

"Prostitutes?" she asked.

"It's- it's someone who has sex for money," he said, then quickly added, "N- not that I'm looking for one!"

"Oh. You mean like a stud?" she asked.

"What?"

"A stud. A stallion that mares pay to breed with them," Fluttershy explained.

Anon was dumbfounded. "... That's a thing?"

"Sure," she said, matter-of-factly. "I don't know if you've noticed, Anon, but the female-to-male ratio here is about nine to one. So... us girls have to share."

"But I've seen lots of married ponies. Mr. and Mrs. Cake, your parents-"

"Oh I know," Fluttershy said. "My mom is one of the lucky ones. Getting a stallion all to her own. But most mares may never marry, or end up becoming part of a herd."

"A herd?"

"Yeah. All married to the same stallion," Fluttershy explained. "But most mares are fine with being single mothers. But in order to have a foal..." She made an implying motion with her hoof. "... That's where a stud comes in."

"Phrasing."

"What?"

"Nothing... But how do you feel about... all that?" he asked.

She tilted her head slightly. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, where I'm from, the women who do that... and guys too, I guess, they're... they're not highly regarded by society. In fact in most places it's illegal to have sex for money."

"But... but why?" Fluttershy asked. "Aren't they just providing a service like any other industry?"

"Well it's different for studs, isn't it?" he asked. "They're more like a... fertility service, right?"

Fluttershy blushed. "Well, sort of. But even if a mare isn't trying to have a foal, a stud is- it's still... nice."

"But isn't it a taboo, like, shameful to have sex for money?" he asked.

"Well, it's not like mares brag about renting a stud..." She smirked. "Unless they're giving a friend a recommendation."

"But I mean, for the stud," Anon said. "Isn't there shame in doing that for a job?"

"Oh not at all! Being a stud is one of the best things a stallion can aspire to be!"

"I... find it hard to disagree with that," Anon said. "But I mean, what does society think about a stallion being a stud?"

"They're practically heroes," Fluttershy said.

Anon raised a dubious eyebrow. "Heroes?"

"Maybe not like a Royal Guard. Although a lot of the guard do moonlight..."

"But heroes though?

"Sure! When the spring estrus sets in and every mare goes into heat, it's agony!" she said with the emphasis of experience. "Studs provide a vital service to all the mares that don't have a stallion of their own."

Anon looked at the calendar. The vernal equinox was just around the corner. It would explain a lot about what had been happening. "Wait, so how are we not waist-deep in foals then?" he asked.

Fluttershy playfully tousled Anon's hair with her wing. "Contraception potions, silly! We're not savages."

He chuckled. "It seems like you ponies have it all figured out."

Fluttershy trotted out of the living room and into the kitchen. "I'm going to get dinner started."

Anon caught his dim reflection in the window glass. Heroes huh? Anon thought as he struck a heroic pose.

He looked down at his hand.

It didn't seem as dirty as it felt before.

"Good morning Anon," Aloe said as she got the spa ready to open.

"Good morning, Aloe," he greeted as he put on his spa uniform. A white headband.

"Are you ready for your second day?" Lotus asked.

Anon washed his hands in the sink basin. He looked at them and then toweled them dry. "Yes. I am."

"I'm sure you will have more clients today," Aloe said. "They seemed like they really enjoyed your service yesterday!"

"I bet," Anon murmured.

"Lyra was practically glowing," Lotus added. "You must really have magic feelers!"

"Magic fingers," he corrected. "And thank you. I'm just doing what I can with what I've got."

Aloe turned the front door to 'open'. After a short while a couple of ponies came in with appointments. Anon waited on standby for any walk-ins, and minded the front counter while Aloe and Lotus worked. Afterwards, he would help out with any chores like sweeping. Without clients, he wasn't being paid. But it was always nice to be helpful to those you work with. And it made the day go by. Considering how much Lyra had given him the day before, he could stand to go a day or two without.

The bell of the spa door jingled. A black & white striped earth pony walked in wearing more bling than Mister T.

Anon greeted her, "Welcome to the Ponyville spa. How may I help ja?" he said, trying to imitate the spa twins' accent.

"Lyra suggested you for a good time, but I did not expect you conversing in rhyme," she replied.

"Ah, so you're the one Lyra told?" Anon asked.

She leaned to the side to look past him and make sure that they were alone. "I'm the one that she was keen on sending, to see about your... happy ending."

Anon grumbled and grabbed a pencil. "Name?"

"Zecora, spelled the zebra way, Z-E-C-O-R-A."

"Zebra. Right, that makes sense," Anon said, looking at her stripes. "What, uh, exactly did Lyra tell you?"

"She said that you have just the thing, to help me through the heat of spring."

It was clear to Anon that the zebra was speaking in rhyme. "Why are you talking like that? Are you doing a bit right now?"

"The only bits I'm keen to do, are the ones attached to you."

Anon's hands covered the crotch of his pants. He looked back over his shoulder to make sure Aloe and Lotus were still in their suites and didn't hear them. "For someone who speaks in rhyme, you're awfully direct."

"There's no need for your defense. I'm simply skipping the pretense."

"No shit." He waved for her to follow him to his suite where they could at least speak privately. "Well I hope your fetish is disappointment, because I'm hardly hung like a horse."

Zecora walked over and took his hand in her hooves, rolling his fingers to ball up into a fist. She held his fist in one hoof and his elbow in the other, looking at the length of his forearm between. "Do not compare yourself to other guys. You have them matched, at least in size."

Anon looked at his own forearm and imagined having a dick that size. It seemed like it would be inconvenient most of the time.

Zecora flipped the lock on the suite door. Anon grumbled. "That would have been handy to know about yesterday."

She climbed up onto the massage table. "If you could see to my demand, to feel the magic of your hand."

She flicked her tail to the side. Unlike other ponies, the hair at the base of her tail was very short, with her longer hair kept out at the end. The result left little to the imagination. And there it was. It wasn't like he hadn't caught a passing glimpse of pony genitals before. They rarely wore clothes. But here she was purposefully putting herself on display to him. "Please try not to make me wait. I am in a bit of a state."

It was an understatement. The entirety of her marehood was glistening wet. Even if he had never seen a human pussy before, he could plainly tell that she was in a heightened state of arousal.

Anon remembered Fluttershy telling him that it was agony for a mare. He remembered what it was like when he was in high school, walking around with a painfully-hard erection twenty five hours a day. "Is it really that uncomfortable?" he asked.

Zecora started to wheeze in anticipation. "The spring season can make, a mare's entire body ache!"

"Why me? Why not rent a stud?" he asked.

"Trust me, it is not my goal, to have a striped hybrid-pony foal."

"Contraceptive potion?"

"I would prefer to just have sex, but I don't like the side effects."

"So you just want me to... touch it?" he asked.

"Yes if you would please make haste!" She looked back at him with a coy grin. "And help yourself to have a taste."

"That's gonna be a hard pass from me," he said as he rummaged through the cabinet drawers. He realized he was never going to find any gloves for the only pair of hands in Equestria. He nervously moved his hand toward her backside. Without even touching her, his palm could feel the heat radiating off of her. He extended a finger to gently touch her puffy labia. There was a flash of movement at the base of her marehood.

Anon shrieked. "WhatTheFuckWasThat!"

"There is no need for alarm, it's nothing that will cause you harm. It's a better sign than you think. My clit just gave a little wink."

"Your clit?" Anon asked. She nodded. He carefully placed a finger against the side of her pussy, pulling it open slightly. Recessed just slightly inside was a small pink nub. His finger moved closer to it and it suddenly bulged out at him, making him jump back again.

Zecora's hooves gripped the edges of the table. "Heartstrings had seemed rather pleased, but she never warned how much you teased!"

Anon glared at her. "Hey, this is new territory for me, okay! All I did was give her a hornjob! I've barely even seen this before, let alone touched one. Just give me a second." He looked back a Zecora's striped, sideways lips, and focused on working up his nerve to continue.

"I get your need for concentration, but could we please get to the p-"

"I'm working on it!" he said. He brought his finger back to her pussy, pressing it in between her lips. Like the rest of pony anatomy, the basic architecture was similar enough to a human. He slid up along her slit, easily finding the entrance to her vagina below her puckered anus.

"If you feel up for doing more, you can try out my back door," she said.

Anon slowly slid a finger into her vagina. "I know that I'm getting paid, to help you feel you're getting laid. But I feel I must be blunt; I would just assume not, go near your balloon knot. Think I'll stick to your... front."

"I don't want to ask again for you to finally put it in."

"It is in," he said as he slid his finger in and out a few times. Zecora looked back at him in mild annoyance. Anon added another finger and, then a third with ease given her copious lubrication. "Look it's not my fault you have such a big- uh, expectation."

Zecora sighed. "Why must all males measure their worth, by their strength, their length, and girth?" she asked. "By now I hoped you'd realize, my expectation isn't size. Yes, I'd like to feel a stud inside, but for more than just a thirty second ride."

"Wait, what?" Anon asked. "Thirty seconds? That's how long they last?"

"Of all the mares I've asked, I'd guess; that's the average, more or less. They like to think their job's complete, when they serve to douse our heat. They cum and go without a care, but it takes more to satisfy a mare."

Anon pulled out his fingers and looked at the thin strand of her sticky arousal hanging between them. Maybe his dick wasn't as visually impressive, but that didn't matter. He had it where it counts. Thirty seconds? he mused. Suddenly size didn't matter at all. He had virtually unlimited stamina compared to that. In this world, he was like a sexual superhero! These mares needed him!

The two most important days of your life are the day you're born, and the day you find out why.

Anon realized this was that day! He discovered his calling, his purpose! It's got to be his destiny! "Because that's what my cutie mark is telling me," Anon said as he slid all four of his fingers into Zecora's pussy, soon followed by his thumb and the rest of his hand up to his wrist. Zecora let out a throaty groan that wouldn't even be able to rhyme with itself.

The inside of her vagina gripped his hand and smothered it in a heat that wasn't quite unbearable. But felt he would definitely hesitate to sit down in a tub of water of this temperature. Her pussy relaxed after a moment.

"More?" he asked.

Zecora's striped, mohawk mane swished as she nodded, accompanied by nothing more than an affirmative moan. He pushed his hand deeper inside her pussy, inch by inch. He watched as more and more of his forearm vanished into the mare until he was almost up to his elbow, then the tips of his fingers bumped into something. Zecora winced and her body recoiled slightly away from him.

"Too deep?" he asked.

Zecora took a deep breath. "I am quite enjoying the service, but do try to avoid my cervix."

"Right." Anon curled is fingers back to form a fist, making sure to give himself enough clearance to not bump into her uterus even when he went as deep as his forearm could go. He gave a few slow thrusts, gauging her reaction just to make sure.

Anon planted his feet and steadied himself. He increased his range of motion, making long strokes in and then almost all the way out to the wrist, leaving just his broad fist inside before plowing back in. In no time he had a good rhythm going, her pussy making wet squelching noises each time he sank his fist home, and trying to suck him back in when he pulled out.

Zecora looked like she was in the haze of a shaman's trance. Her eyes were rolled back like she was trying to look at her brain. Her tongue was lolling out and she had almost as much drool coming from her mouth as her pussy. He half expected her to start speaking in tongues. He briefly wondered if she started speaking a different language if her words would rhyme in that language or the translation.

His upper arm slapped against her ass, sending her wetness splashing everywhere. He felt her clit wink against his elbow. He reached under her with his free hand and pressed his thumb against it, gently, but firmly. She let out a feral groan and her whole pussy gripped his arm as she came. He tried pulling back, but ended up pulling her entire body along with him. Her hind legs flopped off the end of the table, trembled and shook as she came until they hung limp under her, dripping with her wetness running down her inner thighs. He tried to pull his arm out of her again. Her tail whipped up and wrapped around his bicep.

"More, more, er... more!" she babbled. Whatever the mechanism was in her brain that compelled her to speak in rhyme, it was obviously cross-firing. But the intent of her message was clear.

Never one to leave a lady wanting, Anon pushed his arm back into her, taking some of her weight in both arms to lift her back up onto the massage table. For the next couple thrusts he rolled his wrist around inside her in a circular motion as he went, and kept his thumb rubbing her winking clit. At about one third the depth of her vagina, his fist rolled against a specific part of her anterior wall.

He felt a big gush spray into his free palm and her whole body trembled and shook. She suddenly rolled over onto her back, nearly twisting his arm right off , sending him slipping and sliding on the wet floor as her pussy judo flipped him over with her, still squirting and spurting arcs of marecum into his lap. When her pussy stopped gripping his arm enough to finally let him go, he fell backwards onto the slippery floor.

Her left hind leg involuntarily twitched as she laid there, motionless on the massage table.

"Oh my god, I fucked her to death!" Anon cried, scrambling to get back to his feet. His initial shock passed when he could easily see that she was still breathing, with a wide smile plastered across her face.

Anon looked at himself. Every single part of him was sticky, from his head down to his toes. The whole room reeked of mare-in-heat. He desperately needed a shower. This time, preferably in water.

"You okay?" he asked.

Zecora just giggled and nodded.

"Okay. Because I need to clean myself. And this room. And then probably myself again."

Zecora slowly opened one eye just a bit and extended a hoof to him. He held it and helped her to roll back over and climb down from the massage table. Her hind legs gave out and she flopped onto the floor.

Anon realized that if this was going to be a regular thing, he was going to have to get a wheelchair from Ponyville General Hospital to roll out his clients. In his mind he started to form a shopping list of the things he could foresee needing in the future. He helped her up again onto shaky hooves. Once he was sure that she could stand on her own, he grabbed her bag for her.

"I need to stay here and... clean," Anon said. "Why don't you go ahead take advantage of the spa shower room?"

Zecora nodded and rummaged through her bag. She pulled out her coin pouch. She held it out to him in her hoof. She was still barely able to see straight. "I was going to go buy... stuff. But for you, even this is not enough." She stumbled to the door and shuffled off to the shower room.

Anon poked his head out into the lobby, making sure the coast was clear. He walked over to the janitor closet to grab the hose and brought it back to his suite. He closed and locked the door. Then he lifted up the bench top to access the water line running to the showers, sauna, and hot tub. He attached the hose to a side spigot, stripped off his clothes, and sprayed down the entire room in tepid water, and then himself, letting it run down the floor drain.

He toweled himself dry and got dressed. His clothes were hardly clean, but it wasn't as bad as before. He coiled up the hose but kept it connected. He had a feeling he would be needing it again.

He opened the door and went back out into the lobby. Aloe and Lotus had just finished seeing off their two most recent clients. Anon grabbed an extra towel from the lobby stack and tied a couple of the corners around his collar.

"What are you doing?" Lotus asked.

"It's a cape, get it?" Anon said.

"No capes!" Aloe said.

"But I'm like a super hero!"

Aloe yanked it, briefly strangling him. "NO CAPES!"

Author's Note

790742

05. Nurse Redheart

Anon sat in the Ponyville General Hospital waiting room. His hand cradled the elbow of his other arm. Zecora's pussy-judo move of flipping him over by nearly twisting his arm off didn't hurt too much at the time. But by the end of the day, the pain of the injury had gotten worse. He ended up leaving work early to be seen at the hospital, hopefully in time to make it home before Fluttershy started to worry about him being late.

With him in the waiting room were a couple of other injured ponies. One of them was Rainbow Dash, and the other was a familiar grey pegasus that was trying her best to avoid eye contact with Anon. Apparently Derpy and Rainbow Dash were involved in the same mid-air collision, judging from the state of their dislocated wings.

The hospital was not first-come first-serve. The more egregious injuries for the pegasi obviously took priority. By the time Anon got seen, it was dusk. Fluttershy would be worrying about him before too long. He would just have to apologize and explain why later. He knew she would forgive him.

The door to the waiting room opened. "Anon?"

Anon looked up from the magazine he was reading. The nurse calling his name was a white earth pony with a pink mane pulled up into a neat bun just below the back of her nurse cap. The name on her nurse's badge said Redheart. "Yeah, that's me," Anon answered.

Nurse Redheart gave him a strange look. "Why are you here?" she asked.

"My arm got messed up at work," he said, nodding to his shoulder.

She shook her head. "No, I mean, what are you doing here, at a pony hospital, rather than at the vet?"

"The vet!?" he asked indignantly. "I'm not an animal!" She gave him a dubious eyebrow. It was a reminder of how absurd his life was in this world, and how the horseshoe was on the other hoof here. After all, back home he wouldn't have brought a horse to a human hospital. "Okay, no, I get it," he admitted. "But I've already been waiting here for almost two hours."

Redheart sighed. "Oh... okay, fine. I'll see what I can do. But I'm not really qualified to practice in- um... human medicine." Anon got up and followed her into the hallway to exam room one. "Luckily we're not too busy this evening. My shift is almost up, but my relief nurse is running late for the night shift. On the table, please."

Anon smirked, getting up onto the exam table. "Heh, usually I'm the one saying that," he muttered.

"What was that?" she asked as she put on a pair of hoof gloves.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Alright, let's take a look," she said. He presented his injured arm to her. She looked it over from his wrist up to his shoulder. She started to palpate his arm with her hooves. "Let me know if any of this hurts," she said. Again she went from wrist to shoulder, and then back down again, feeling each of the muscles and joints.

"There... and there... Ow!"

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"It's not excruciating," he said. She made a note on her clipboard and continued her physical exam of his arm muscles. "Usually I'm the one giving the massage."

"Oh? You said this was work-related?" she asked. He nodded. Redheart sat back in her seat. "How did this happen?" she asked. "It might give me some insight into the nature of the injury."

"I was, um, giving somepony a massage and, uh, my arm got twisted."

"Hmm." Redheart slowly moved his arm with her hooves, gently moving it through its range of motion. The hinge motion of his elbow, and the circular swing arc of his shoulder. She rotated his wrist through its torsional range, extending the rotation to his elbow.

"Gaahaahaa! There!" he cried out.

She looked over the stabilizing, crossing ligaments in his elbow, connecting to his radial and ulnar. She gave him a more precise palpation. "Does it hurt here?" she asked. He shook his head. "Well that's good. That and the fact that there is no apparent bruising is a good sign. It's not a torn ligament. Hold both of your arms out in front of you, paws up."

"You mean like this? Palms up?" he asked, holding out his hands.

"Yes, like that," she huffed. "I told you, I'm not a vet." She leaned closer and looked back and forth between his arms. Without any other reference, all she could do was compare them to each other. "This one does seem a little swollen at the elbow. It's probably a sprained tendon." She made a note in her clipboard. "A bit of ice for the swelling and a day or two of rest for your foreleg and you should be fine."

"A couple days? But it's almost the vernal equinox!"

"Don't I know it..." Redheart groaned in irritation at the reminder of the date. "But why does that matter to you? And how did you manage to twist your own arm hard enough to sprain a tendon while giving a massage?" she asked.

Anon looked at her nervously. "Um, do you have that thing here, where if I tell you something, it stays a secret?"

"Do you mean doctor-patient confidentiality? Yes. Unless you tell me about something that is going to lead to something illegal, or somepony getting hurt."

"No no, it's nothing like that. I don't think," he said. "Like I said, I work as a masseur over at the Ponyville Spa. And I was giving massage to a mare..." he trailed off.

Redheart tapped her hoof impatiently. "And...?"

"Well, I was giving her a special deep tissue massage... like, elbow-deep," he muttered.

"Oh? Oh. OH!" her eyes lit up in understanding. The specific dimensions of his forearm filled in the rest of the details for her. "So I take it she ordered the... 'happy ending'?"

"... Yeah."

Redheart's demeanor shifted to a comforting tone to try to dispel the awkwardness he was clearly feeling. "I see. Well it is the season. Though I'm surprised you picked up studding. I wouldn't think most ponies would be into bestiality."

"It's not-!"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized. "What is the term they use... interspecies erotica?"

"It's not- it's not sex!" he defended. "It's just a massage! With my hands... and sometimes my arm."

"Oh, no-no, I know. It's just a job for you, I'm sure," she said. "I'm not judging. I just find it fascinating."

He shrugged. "Well... thanks. I guess."

"Though I am curious as to how exactly you hurt yourself."

"Well, I was... massaging, and she was enjoying it, very much," he said in an implying tone.

"Oh, I'm sure," Redheart said.

"Yeah, well, in the moment that she was... enjoying it the most, she gripped my arm and rolled over."

She looked at his arm and tilted her head completely sideways, trying to figure it out in her head. "But your elbow can't... How do you still have an arm?" she asked.

"I literally rolled with it, flipping over with her."

"Ah. Quick thinking," she said.

"Well that and the floor was already slippery," he said.

She smirked. "Sounds like she really did enjoy it." He blushed.

"It makes me wonder if, like if I actually was... you know..." he made a subtle humping motion.

Redheart chuckled. "Well as a masseur, I'm sure you've noticed by now that at a fundamental level, our two species have similar architecture, with just a bit a difference in proportions."

"Yeah..." he acknowledged.

She continued, "So I take it that it's safe to assume that you don't have bones in your penis?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Well while bones are very useful to have for our skeleton, they aren't very flexible and can be brittle, compared to say, the spongey flesh of a penis. So, were it a stud in your position, she would have been able to roll over, and be able to freely spin around on it without having to worry about dislocating a joint."

Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah well, I didn't think a mare's... you know..."

"Vagina."

"Vagina... could do that," he said.

Redheart snorted. "Well if you're really serious about studding, you had best learn up on your mare anatomy!" she scolded. "Though I still can't see the appeal other ponies might find in you."

"Well, as I understand it, most studs only last about a minute," he said.

Redheart chortled. "Ha! That's being charitable!"

Anon's nervousness was replaced with pride. "Well I can go as long as a mare needs. As long as she wants."

Redheart's tail twitched. "Oh?"

"Well yeah. It's my arm. I'm not just going to cum and go. I keep at it until my client is completely satisfied."

Redheart's tail twitched harder, flagging upright. With a loud thud, a smooth, blue cylinder fell onto the floor behind her. "Shit, shit!" she curse, scurrying to scoop it up and hide it in her nurse station drawer.

"Wait, was that a dildo that just fell out of your pussy!?" he asked.

"NO!" she snapped. She caught herself and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. No. It's a cooler."

"A cooler... for your pussy?"

"YES!" she growled. "I'm sorry I'm sorry. I know you're just curious. Yes. It's a vaginal cooler. Like you said, it's spring, and that means estrus. And for most mares, estrus is agony. I know I'm a nurse and all, but I'm not exactly rolling in bits. It's been an expensive month for me, so I can't afford a stud. I have to settle for this stupid thing."

"Does that work?" he asked.

"Barely!" she groaned. "And that's only when it's cold. And it stopped being cold hours ago!" Her eyes looked at his arm again, tracing up and down along the length of his forearm as her imagination started to wander. "But maybe we can help each other out..."

"Uh..."

"I'll give you some advanced lessons on mare anatomy, in exchange for one of your deep tissue massages."

"But my arm-"

"You have a spare, don't you?" she asked.

He looked at his other arm. "I guess."

"Alright, deal!" She got up out of her chair and jabbed her hooves into his side to shoo him off of the exam table. She pointed at her chair. "Take a seat. Class is in session!" Anon sat in her seat while she rummaged through the drawers of the exam table. She grabbed a couple things and then adjusted the table itself, lifting up a couple of extensions. She climbed up on the table and put a leg up into each of the gynecology stirrups. "Ah, it's nice to just be off my hooves..." With her legs up in the stirrups, she was putting herself on full display to him. "Alright, show me what you can do," she instructed.

He sat there and looked at her. "You want me to just... go for it?" he asked, making a fist with his good hand.

"Yes. But wash your paws first!"

"Oookay..." Anon washed his hands in the sink basin and then sat back down. He reached out with his good hand and started rubbing his fingers against her marehood. It was already plenty wet with her pent up sexual frustration. In seconds his fingers, and a good portion of the rest of his hand was soaked. He started feeding his fingers into her vagina, followed by the rest of his hand.

"Go on, get in there!" she growled. "I'm not some delicate flower that you're going to break. I can take it!"

"As you wish." He slid the rest of his forearm into her with a firm push.

Redheart let out a throaty moan as her pussy was properly filled for the first time in months. "Oh fuuuck, I've missed this!"

Anon's elbow reached her pussy. Without his fingers balled into a fist, they bumped into her cervix, making her voice hitch. "Ooh, sorry," he apologized.

"No, it's okay," she moaned. "See if you can get one of your paw toes in."

"... What?"

"Your- your..." her hoof flailed at his free hand.

"You mean my fingers?" he asked, wiggling them at her.

"Yeah! See if you can put one in!" she asked.

He looked at where his elbow was connected to her pussy. "Um, they're all in. Like, really in."

"No like... even deeper than they are!" she whined.

"Uh..." Anon felt around the back of her vagina. "There's nowhere else to go."

Redheart's eyelids fluttered and she felt his fingers wiggling around inside her. But he was clearly fumbling around blindly in the literal dark. Her frustration only intensified. "Do you not know what you're doing?" she asked.

"Not in the slightest!" he said. "This is all incredibly new territory for me!"

"Open the- the second drawer on the right," she instructed. His free hand opened the drawer "Grab the thing that looks like a big duck bill."

There was only one thing in the drawer matching that description. He pulled it out and held the apparent handle. Giving it a squeeze was like operating a puppet, making the duck bill open and close. "Quack quack," Anon said.

Redheart rolled her eyes. Just like every resident nurse that ever picked it up for the first time. "Alright, get your arm out, and put that in." she said. He pulled his arm out and then slid the bill of the duck into her pussy. "You're going to want the exam light," she said, motioning to the lamp behind him. He turned it on and pointed it at her pussy. "Alright now... quack and take a look."

Anon squeezed the handle of the speculum and Nurse Redheart grunted as her vagina gaped open before him. The bright light of the lamp shined all the way to the back. Anon looked inside, like looking down the barrel of a fleshy Pringles can. "This was not what I was expecting to see when I woke up this morning..."

"Alright," she panted, "You see, in the back, it looks like a belly button?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah..." he said, spying the small divot in the back of her vagina.

"That's my cervix. So in case you ever wondered where foals come from, that's your answer."

"Yeah, that's uh... real neato." Anon got that same visceral feeling in his stomach that he had when he dissected a pig in high school. It was the same clinical, academic setting, but it was still something that was unsettling to see.

"Okay, we're done with the duck," she said. Anon let it close and slid it out. She took her legs out of the stirrups and climbed down off the exam table to reset the exam table to its original, flat setting. She got back on it and laid down on her elbow and knees, flagging her tail up out of the way again. "Alright, now back to where we were before!" she said excitedly. His other hand was still slick with her wetness. He had no trouble sliding it back into her pussy. "Slow down," she said. He stopped.

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't say stop, I said slow." He continued sliding his hand inside her, slowly. "Now before you go too far, stop about..." she paused, and waited. "There." Anon stopped with about a third of his arm inside her pussy. "Alright, see how deep you are?" she asked. He looked, made a mental note of his depth, and nodded. "Okay, push your fingers down, toward the front of my belly." He did as she said, making a small bump in her abdomen. She let out another bestial moan. "Oh yeah, right there! That's the spot! Massage right there!"

Anon's expert masseur hand pressed into the spongy area of her vaginal wall, rolling his knuckles against it and rubbing his fingers against it in firm circles.

"FffuUUUCK!" Redheart moaned, her voice dropping several octaves. "That's how you get a mare off!" she said. "Most mares anyway. But not this one. Grab one of those tongue depressors off the counter," she said pointing at the jar.

"What, you mean these popsicle stick things?" he asked. She nodded and he grabbed one out of the jar. She took it in her hoof.

"Alright, all the way back in with you," she told Anon. He sunk his arm all the way into her to the elbow. "Alright now, remember that belly button?" she asked. He nodded. "See if you can get your, um, finger in there." Now that he had some idea of what it looked like, Anon felt around inside her until he found the small divot with his little finger. "That's it!"

"And you're sure you want me to...?" Anon gave just the slightest push.

She put the wooden tongue depressor in her mouth and nodded. "Mhmm!"

Anon gave his finger a little push and twist to try to get it through the tiny opening. He just managed to get the first knuckle inside. Redheart shrieked and whimpered. The corners of her eyes glistened with tears. Anon froze his movement. "Are you okay!?" he asked.

"Mhmm! Mhmm!" she nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh...kay..." Anon pushed his finger in a little deeper, to the second knuckle. Redheart whimpered again.

"Crit!" she growled through her teeth gripping on the piece of wood. "Pray wiff my crit!"

Anon's other hand started playing with her clit and he wiggled his other finger in her cervix. She started panting and writhing. The tongue depressor fell out of her mouth. "Oh, Dr. Horse, what are you doing to me!? oh-fuck-oh-fuck-oh-fuck! Grab the bedpan!" she screamed.

"What!? Why!?"

"Because I'm about to piss myself!"

"Shit! Shit!" Anon stretched with his free arm to grab the bedpan off the counter and quickly put it on the exam table between the mare's legs.

"FfffuuuUUUCK!" Redheart cried out, as her hind legs went limp. She flopped flat on top of the exam table as a hot stream began to pour into the bedpan.

Anon tried to remove himself, but found that his arm was quite locked inside her gripping pussy. He braced himself against the edge of the exam table and hoped like hell this mare didn't flip over and break off his good arm. But nothing of the sort happened. Her strained grunts and moans abated and she relaxed, letting him pull his finger out of her cervix, and the rest of his arm slipped free of her marehood. He caught himself from falling in time to land sitting in the chair.

Redheart panted and wheezed as she relieved herself until her stream slowed to a drip and stopped. "Sorry... about that," she said with a ragged voice. She pressed her face into her hoof, unable to bear turning to look at him yet. "It happens with a few mares, when they cum really hard."

"Good to know," he said, making a mental note to never wear shoes to work that he cared about. "And the cervix thing? That's not going to be a regular thing for me is it?" he asked as he looked at the bite marks on the wooden tongue depressor. "I take it you're one of those girls who gets off to a bit of pain?"

She turned her head to look at him out of the corner of her eye and blushed a deep pink. She nodded. "Yeah. Most mares wouldn't like it if you did that to them. I'm kind of a freak like that."

Anon shrugged. "I think everyone has a kinky side," he said. "Some are just better at lying about it."

Redheart nodded. "Thank you for understanding. And for..." she swished her tail, "everything." She looked at his dexterous fingers. "No stallion penis can do that," she added. She slowly got off the table and carefully picked up the bedpan to dispose of her shame.

"So... who's Dr. Horse?" Anon asked.

Nurse Redheart blushed harder. "Did I really say that out loud?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"He's, um... he's my boss."

"Ah. A little office romance?" he asked.

"Of course not," she said. "It's just a crush. He doesn't even know."

"Oh."

"And I'd prefer that it stay that way," she added, pointedly.

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, my lips are sealed,"

"I appreciate it," she said. "And, everything else, like I said. It'll make getting through the rest of the spring a breeze. I'll have to come by the spa and see you next spring." She grabbed her vaginal cooler out of the drawer and smirked at him. "Maybe sooner."

She dug around in the cabinet and found a small jar of cream. She put it in his hands. "Topical analgesic. For your arm. That and a couple days rest and you should be back to one hundred percent," she said as she led him out of the clinic.

He took a small amount and rubbed it on his elbow and shoulder, numbing the pain. "Thank you," he said.

"Oh no, Anon... thank you!"

Author's Note

1419777

06. Fluttershy

At night, the sparse street lamps made the town of Ponyville not nearly as bright as the human city Anon had grown up in. Still, it was a small town and he knew the way back from Ponyville General hospital to Fluttershy's cottage well enough. Even so, by the time he got there, he was unfashionably, unreasonably late.

"Fluttershy, I'm back!" he called out into the cottage as he walked in and took his shoes off.

Fluttershy bounded down the stairs in a mix of trotting, hopping and flying. "Anon! Where were you!? I was worried sick!" she scolded him.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I had to go over to Ponyville General after work."

"The hospital!? Are you okay?" she asked, even more worked up than before.

"I'm fine. I just sprained my elbow," he explained, indicating his arm by giving his shoulder a shrug. "The nurse said I just need a couple days rest to-"

"Oh, you poor thing!" Fluttershy said, grabbing his good arm. Though she was a little more than half his size, she was quite forceful, pulling him along upstairs.

"Shy, what are you-" he didn't even get a chance to finish as she pulled him into her bedroom and all but shoved him into her bed. "Uh, I'm flattered, but I'm not really looking for a rela-" Fluttershy tucked him into the blankets and vanished from the room. A minute later she was back with a bowl of soup and put a cold compress on his forehead. She took a spoonful of soup and held it out to him with her wingtip. "What the shit!? It's just a sprain! It's not like I have ebola!" He pulled the compress off his forehead and sat up. "I just need to take a couple days off from work."

Fluttershy put the soup aside, and put a hoof to his chest, making him lay back down. "You need to rest and recover," she insisted.

Anon huffed. "Fluttershy, I'm fine, really. Soup is nice for dinner and all, but you don't need to feed it to me. It's late, and I'm going to get plenty of rest as soon as I get some sleep. The couch is fine for me. I'm not going to keep you from your own bed."

Anon was bigger than her. He was stronger than her, even with an injured elbow. He pushed her hoof off of him and he got out of her bed. He grabbed the bowl of soup and headed downstairs to eat before retiring to his usual sleeping spot on the couch. As he laid down, Fluttershy laid out on the floor beside him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"If you won't sleep in the bed, then I'm sleeping on the floor next to the couch!" she said.

"What- on the hardwood floor!?" he asked. "Go sleep in your bed! That's why I'm on the couch."

"That's why I'm on the floor!"

"Fluttershy, please go sleep in your bed."

"Not without you," she said.

"Um..."

"It's a big bed," she assured him.

Anon got up off the couch and shuffle back to the stairs. "Fine! If it keeps you off the floor. But only because I'm too tired to argue anymore." Fluttershy followed him back upstairs to her bedroom. He sat on the edge of her bed and she grabbed his shirt with her hooves. "I'm quite capable of undressing myself, thank you."

Anon took off his shirt and pants to sleep in just his boxers as he usually did. Fluttershy went around to the other side of the bed and climbed in. As she said, it was a big bed. His feet only hung off the edge a little. But it was plenty wide enough for the two of them.

She looked at him and smiled. "You won't even know I'm here. I'm the world champion of the Quiet Game."

"Okay..." Anon reached over and turned off the nightstand lamp. It wasn't the first time he had slept in a bed next to someone. But it was the first time next to a pony. And of all the times, this was the first time he'd had someone quite so insistent to do so. He rolled onto his side to keep his bad arm elevated. The couch in her living room was plenty comfortable for him, but her actual bed was like sleeping on a cloud. Appropriate for a pegasus. He was tired after such a long and exhausting day. Sleep found him quickly.

~

Sometimes Anon dreamed. Most of the time he didn't. At least, not that he could remember. So when he found himself in a dark room in the middle of the night on a bed rather than a couch, he was unsure if he was dreaming or not at first. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand. In the dim moonlight he could see that it was now so late at night that it was early. The memory of the previous evening came rushing back and he realized where he was and why.

He felt very warm. After all the fuss he had made about Fluttershy doting on him like one of her sick animals, it would be a cruel irony for him to end up actually having a fever. He tried to peel back the blanket off of him to get some cool air. But the blanket gripped him a little tighter. Or rather, the hoof wrapped around his midsection hugged him a little closer. And he remembered that he wasn't alone in the bed.

Along with Fluttershy's hoof was one of her wings draped over him. Between that and the rest of her body pressed against his back, he was sweltering from her warmth. He at least tossed the blanket off of them. He certainly didn't need it with her snuggling him like this. Without the blanket, it was still warm, but at least it was tolerable.

It was strange being the little spoon, especially considering he was a good deal taller than her. But even so, it was... nice. He couldn't recall ever being the little spoon before when he snuggled with someone. In fact, as he laid there, he found it hard to remember much from the time before he had arrived. It was like trying to recall a half-remembered dream.

His life from before wasn't bad, and he wasn't miserable by any stretch. But he wasn't really happy either. Not like this, anyway. He felt Fluttershy's warm breath against the back of his neck and smiled. Everything here was so different. But that was okay. Maybe he was different now, too. Happier.

He struggled to remember what he used to be like. He pushed the thought from his mind and snuggled back against Fluttershy's warm body.

He had already forgotten.

~

Sometimes Anon would sleep on his arm. Sometimes this would cut off his circulation. Sometimes he would wake up to his arm being asleep, and he'd have to wait through the feeling of pins and needles while it 'woke up'. But a fun side effect to this was being able to play with himself with his numb hand, and it would feel like someone else doing it. 'The Stranger' as it was called.

This morning started out like that. Anon blinked in the dawn's early light and looked at his hand, and then his other hand. And yet the sensation on his dick persisted. He looked down at the yellow hoof tucked inside the waistband of his boxers.

"HeeEY NOW!" he yelped.

"Oh, good you're awake," Fluttershy said, giving him a few more gentle strokes.

"What are you doing!?" he asked.

"... I mean... it seems pretty obvious," she said.

"Okay, but why though?" he asked.

"Oh, well when I woke up this morning, you had an erection, and it looked so hard it looked painful. And I realized that you're here, all alone, the only one of your species with no females to mate with this season."

"It's morning wood, I get it every morning," he said.

"I know," she whispered.

It occurred to him that Fluttershy woke up before him every morning to feed the animals and make breakfast for them. And he'd be laying asleep on the couch with little more than his boxers to hide his modesty. It would have been impossible to hide the tent he had been pitching.

"But- I'm a human. You're a pony," he said.

"That doesn't bother me. Does it bother you? Do you want me to stop?" she asked.

Rationally, he knew a simple 'yes' would have sufficed. But truth be told, it was the first intimate touch he had gotten in far longer than he would have cared to admit. "It's... okay," he heard himself say, "but..."

"But what?" she asked.

As soft as the pad of her hoof was, as much as it was a far cry from the hard, keratin hooves of the horses of his world, "It's still a hoof."

Fluttershy's eyes went wide. "Oh my goodness! I'm sorry! You probably need something more than that."

Anon tried to say something about 'beggars and choosers' before Fluttershy pulled her hoof out of his shorts, leaving him a bit disappointed. His disappointment lasted all of a second before she sat up in front of him and yanked his shorts down with her hooves, letting his dick spring free. Anon was no stallion. He would say that we was marginally above average. She gave it only the most cursory visual inspection before she opened her mouth and took the whole thing in one slurp.

"House hiss?" Fluttershy tried to ask with her mouth full of his dick.

"We need to have a chat later about consent," was what Anon tried to say, but it came out as a jumbled mess of guttural vowels as it felt like she was trying to suck the speech center of his brain right out through his dick. Of all the garbled noises he made while his hands gripped the sheets, none of them sounded the least bit objectionable. So Fluttershy continued to bob her head and suck his dick like it was her sole source of oxygen. At least, for about a minute or so before she stopped and looked at him with concerned eyes.

"Am I doing it wrong?" she asked.

"What? No, you're doing great!" he said.

"Oh." She seemed unconvinced. "But you haven't cum yet," she said. "A stallion normally cums by now."

Anon smirked. Even after as long of a dry spell as he'd had, "It takes more than just one minute for humans."

"Oh." Fluttershy's shame only intensified as her hoof rubbed her jaw and neck. "I don't think I can go much more with my mouth."

"It's okay," he assured her. "You don't have to do that."

"Oh, okay. Good," she said. She hopped off the bed and Anon sat up at the edge. Fluttershy flagged her tail at him and leaned down towards the floor, propping her butt up in in the air at him.

"Wait, what are you doing now?" he asked.

"I thought you wanted to skip straight to using me to rut," she said.

"What? No I don't want to use you!" he said

"Oh." Fluttershy frowned. "Is it some other pony then?"

"No, it's no pony."

"Because I'm not a human?"

"No, it's that I don't want to use anyone, human or not," he said.

"I'd like to be," Fluttershy murmured.

"What?"

"I'd... like to be used," she repeated, only slightly louder.

"Well if you're asking me to, it's not really..." Anon tried to start arguing semantics when Fluttershy's pussy winked at him. His dick throbbed and twitched, sending a Morse code message to his brain. Pussy is pussy. Even if it's horse pussy. It derailed whatever other train of thought he was attempting to articulate. "You know what, never mind."

Standing as she was on the floor it dawned on him that she was at the perfect height for him to just go ahead and plow her the way she clearly wanted him to.

"I'm not going to just use you, Fluttershy," he said. "I don't think I could bring myself to do that to anyone." Fluttershy looked like she was about to cry. "... At least, not on the floor like this."

The sadness vanished from her face and her eyes lit up again. She turned and pounced back up onto the bed. "Would you be more comfortable on the bed?" she asked, turning to present herself again.

"Why don't you go ahead and lay down," he instructed. She crouched down until her belly was against the mattress.

"Like this?" she asked eagerly.

Anon just smiled and put his hands on either side of her hips. "I meant on your back," he said, turning her over in place onto her back. He pulled her toward him until her butt was at the edge of the bed and her tail draped below her. She looked up at him as he leaned over her. "Most humans like to do it facing each other."

"How intimate," she breathed.

"Mhmm." He stepped closer, bringing his hips against her butt, letting his dick lay against her vulva. "Are you ready?" he asked. She nodded. He reached down with his hand and held his dick, rubbing the tip of it against her clit before angling it downward into her vagina. It was plenty wet and it should have come as no surprise to him when he was met with no resistance to slide inside. "How does that feel?" he asked.

She gave him a weak smile. "Like it looks?" she said as politely as she could. It stung his pride, but only slightly. He should have know that would be her reaction to his human penis. "How does it feel for you?" she asked.

He gave her a few thrusts. No, it wasn't as tight as he would prefer. But it was a warm, wet, confined space. And that was good enough to get the job done for Mr. Happy. "It's great," he said. That seemed to please her. He started thrusting at a steady pace. She had the kind of smile that showed that she was happy to make him happy, but after a couple minutes, she also looked a little bored as she laid there. He was starting to regret not taking her from behind. But alas, he had a secret weapon.

Anon reached down with his free hand and placed his thumb against the top of her pussy. The next time her clit winked, he rubbed it in little circles.

"Ah- ah-Anon!" she yelped. By the stars it was like he had flipped a switch in the mare. Her bored, if content smile vanished and she actually looked a little worried as he kept on fucking her for three, four, even five minutes. Every time her little pearl would poke out he'd rub and flick it with his thumb, making her legs quiver and shake. Her mane became a tousled, ragged mess as he kept on fucking her long after any other creature would have finished. Her voice trembled along with her entire body "If you keep doing that I - I'm- Nggghh!" Fluttershy moaned and whimpered as she came. Her face blushed and she looked away in embarrassment.

She didn't gush marecum, or even squirt in the slightest, but she definitely got wetter. Her pussy made lewd squelching noises as he continued to fuck her, and their hips met with wet slaps each time he hilted into her. In her orgasm, her vagina squeezed his penis, giving him that bit of tightness he needed to finish.

He felt himself nearing his climax and he leaned down over her, and held her cheek in his hand, turning her to face him. He pulled her into a kiss as went over the brink. He closed his eyes and kissed her as he finally released a long-pent-up load, pumping rope after rope of cum inside her. He broke the kiss and opened his eyes. She was looking at him with eyes as big as dinner plates.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, as he lifted himself off her.

Fluttershy was a quivering mess of post-orgasmic mare. "I was supposed to be the one pleasuring you..." Her eyes, blinked and focused on him. "Why did you kiss me?" she asked.

"Because I love you," he said.

"Oh," Fluttershy replied with surprise, and just a hint of... disgust?

"Oh'? That's it? 'Oh'?" he asked.

"No, that's not it. I'm sorry!" she said.

"Do you not love me?" he asked. "I thought that's what this was."

"I like you Anon," Fluttershy said. "And yes, I do love you, the same way I love all my animals."

"But I'm not an animal," he said.

"Vegetable? Mineral?" she asked.

"You know what I mean. I can talk," he said.

"So can they," she said. "Just because you can't understand them doesn't mean I can't."

"But we just had sex," he said.

Fluttershy gave him a weak smirk. "I meant what I said... Did you know that heads aren't the only thing that an Orthos has two of?" she said. Anon cringed. "Oh! Are you about to judge me for having interspecies intercourse!?" she asked, pointing at him indignantly. "Kettle, meet pot!"

"But I thought you and I were having, like, an actual romantic relationship!" he said.

"Oh, no, no. I already have a special somepony. Or rather, a special some-draconequus," she said.

"Are you talking about me?" the lamp on the nightstand said. An asymmetric face appeared on the lampshade as it spun around in place to turn to look at them.

"What the fuck!?" Anon jumped back from it and grabbed his boxers to hastily get dressed.

With a flash of light, Discord appeared in the bedroom with them. "Oh, I'm sorry, Fluttershy. Am I interrupting? My pointy little ears were burning."

"It's okay. We were just finishing," Fluttershy said.

Anon was so used to being the tallest one in the room, Discord was the first one he actually had to look up at. "Shit, am I going to have to deal with the crazy boyfriend catching us in the act? Look man, be cool! She never told me she had a boyfriend!"

Discord laughed out loud. "Oh, please! Don't mistake me for some petty, jealous creature below my station. I know Fluttershy only loves me. And I also know that she has particular... sexual predilections. But as long as she isn't cheating on me with a stallion, I honestly don't care what she does with her livestock."

"Livestock!?" Anon snapped.

"Now, now, Discord," Fluttershy chided. "I told you. He's not livestock. He's more like a pet."

"I'm not a pet, either!" he yelled, storming out of the bedroom.

"My, my, Fluttershy," Discord mused, "You're practically glowing! You must have really enjoyed yourself with this one."

"Mhmm," she purred. "He could probably teach you a thing or two."

Discord bristled. "Well, I don't know about that!"

Fluttershy trotted off after Anon, who was busy storming around the cottage to gather up his few possessions and get dressed. "Anon, what are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," he said. "The plan was for me to save up enough for my own place, and that's what I'm going to do. I've got at least enough for a down payment."

"After only one week?" she asked.

"Yeah. I think so," he said.

"You don't have to leave," she said. "I'm sorry Discord called you livestock."

"Yeah, well, I'm not going to stay just to be another exotic pet for you to do, either," he huffed. "I might be the only human in a world of ponies, but I deserve a partner, not an owner." He walked to the front door and opened it. Fluttershy caught him at the door and held his arm with her hooves.

"You're right," she said. "You do deserve a partner. I do love you, Anon. I'm sure Discord would be willing to share-"

"I think we both know that's not true," Discord's face on the door knocker said.

Fluttershy frowned. "Well, it doesn't mean that from time to time we can't still... you know." She gave him a sly wink. "It was nice... Wasn't it?"

Anon's grumpy frown melted a little. "Yeah... it was," he agreed. He stood there and looked at her in silence for a long moment. "Goodbye, Fluttershy."

She shook her head. "It's not goodbye. I'll still see you around town. Maybe I'll have to stop by the spa!" Fluttershy's weak smiled faltered. "I'm sorry, Anon. Maybe if things had been different. But in all fairness, Discord did come first." Anon just looked at the ground. Fluttershy leaned down into his field of view to look up at him. "Anon? Discord did come first," she repeated.

Anon sighed. "Heh. Phrasing."

She smiled. "There's the Anon I know!"

Author's Note

2241379

Edit: Alright now everyone, in hindsight I realize this chapter had Fluttershy being a bit O.O.C. and the chapter overall was a somewhat jarring shift in tone for the story. But don't fret! This story is not tagged as a Tragedy. Anon's life goes on.

08. Rainbow Dash

Anon stood in the doorway of his massage suite, watching Rarity reunite with Fluttershy in the Ponyville spa lobby. He briefly made eye contact with the shy pegasus that had once been his caretaker before she quickly looked away. The clock on the wall told him that he was already running behind. He turned and went back inside his suite to clean up. Not just the table, but the whole room, and himself.

The door opened without a knock. "Anon?" Fluttershy asked from the doorway.

Anon looked up from hosing down the massage table. "Hey, uh... you're not my next appointment, are you?" he asked nervously.

She shook her head. "No. I- I just wanted to talk to you for a minute."

"Yeah, well a minute is about all you're going to have," he said, glancing at his bare wrist, where his watch used to be.

"I just wanted to apologize," she said. "I know you're not a pony, but I shouldn't have treated you as any less of an equal. And... and looking back now, I realized that I shouldn't have led you on like that."

Anon toweled dry the vinyl padding on the table. "Yeah, well... It did hurt. But I realized that I had made a few assumptions, myself. Expectations. It was easy for me to see what I wanted to see. So I guess I led myself on a bit, too," he said. Fluttershy chuckled. "What's funny?"

She gave him a soft smile. "It's just that- I can communicate with animals, but I guess that doesn't automatically mean I'm good at communicating," she said.

"Yeah. Me too," he said. "I mean, about communicating, not the talking to animals bit. I guess I just saw what I wanted because I didn't realize how badly I wanted it."

"What's that?" she asked.

Anon shrugged. "Love? Maybe... companionship? I'm the only human in the whole world. I didn't realize how lonely I felt."

"Oh, Anon!" Fluttershy walked to his side and hugged him. It was a platonic display of affection. "You are a wonderful creature. I'm sure you'll find love. And you don't ever need to feel lonely. There are a lot of ponies who like you already." Anon glanced out into the lobby. Fluttershy shook her head. "No- I don't mean because of this. I mean your friends. Though I must say... studding, Anon?" Fluttershy stood back and looked him up and down as though seeing him in a new way. "On the one hoof I want to say that it suits you. But at the same time, not at all."

Anon blushed. He was still a bit embarrassed with his vocation. At least with her. "It's uh- I wouldn't really call it... studding. I mean, technically. It's just-" he held up his hands. "It's just a massage."

"Meester Anon?" Lotus said from the doorway in her delightful accent, making an insistent motion with her hoof.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be out in a second," Anon said, making the last preparations as Fluttershy started to walk out. "Hey, Shy!"

She stopped and looked back at him. "Yes?"

"Thank you, for..." his words hitched for a moment. What was it that he was thanking her for? Her apology? Was that the resolution that he needed? Yes, but that wasn't the only thing. "Thanks for coming by to talk. I appreciate it. I didn't like things still being left unresolved."

Fluttershy gave him a warm smile. "You're welcome." She walked out into the lobby and Anon followed after her.

"...solutely an animal, darling. I can barely feel my hind legs!" Rarity babbled his praises to the line of ponies standing at the front counter. "Ah there he is!" She staggered over to him. "I was just telling the twins that your rates are positively criminal for a service of your quality, and I demanded that your pay be tripled."

"Rarity, you don't-"

Aloe cut him off. "We can't up-charge ponies that have already made appointments!" She looked at the line and then at Anon again. "But if you continue to have such a draw, we can discuss adjusting your salary tomorrow morning."

Anon was dumbfounded. "...kay."

Rarity turned to follow Fluttershy out of the spa. "Oh, Anon!" Rarity called out, running back over to him. "A couple more things. Firstly..." Rarity reached into her bag and gave him a business card. The Crop: Marital Aide Emporium in Canterlot. "In case you want to pick up some... tools of the trade. Oh, and, um... did you *ahem* lose something?" she asked quietly. She discreetly gave him back his wrist watch, still quite wet.

"Thanks." Anon wrapped it in a towel and then put it in his pants pocket, best to not lose it again. He waved goodbye to them. Once they left, he looked at Aloe. "And who's next?" he asked.

From across the lobby, the door to his suite closed quickly. Somepony had just darted inside. "She's waiting for you," Lotus said.

"Who is?" Anon asked. Aloe told him. Anon took a deep breath and stretched his shoulder muscles. This was going to be interesting. He walked across the lobby and cautiously opened the door to Suite 3, previously the janitorial storage. The room appeared empty. "Hello?" He closed the door behind him.

"Did they see me?" he heard a voice in the relatively small room.

"Shit, I didn't even see you!" he said. She dropped down in front of him from the ceiling shadows, making him jump backwards. "What the shit, Dash!? Are you trying to give me a heart attack!?"

Rainbow Dash had been one of the first ponies he met after Fluttershy first found him in the Everfree Forest. The fact that Rainbow could also understand him was when he realized that Fluttershy's talent with animals was special. It also indicated to Rainbow that he was special. There was no faster means of spreading news than by 'Rainbow mail'. Princess Twilight Sparkle and everypony else learned of his existence soon after. Aside from Fluttershy, the prismatic tomboy was one of the few ponies with whom he had actually started becoming somewhat more than acquaintances.

"Chill!" Rainbow Dash hushed him. "I just don't want Rarity or Fluttershy to know I'm here."

"I think you're good," Anon assured her. "Fluttershy didn't seem to notice, and Rarity- I don't think she even knows where she is."

"Heh, yeah I saw that," Dash snickered. "I'll have what she's having."

And there it was. Whatever reservation Anon might have had about crossing this threshold with a friend, Dash clearly didn't share. As Fluttershy had explained to him before, ponies sometimes had very different personalities during estrus. And a lot of the normal social protocol didn't really apply. And this certainly seemed to be a case. Anon mentally compartmentalized his concerns and remembered to maintain a professional attitude.

"Yeah, you and half the town..." Anon rolled his sleeves up. "So do you want me to start with your wings or your hooves or-"

"NO!" Dash yelped, making Anon jump again. "I mean- no, I don't want any of the other stuff. I'm in kind of a rush, so we can just skip to the good part. The deep tissue massage, right? Just please don't touch my hooves, okay? I don't like ponies touching my hooves."

"Uh, yeah, sure," Anon said. "Why don't you go ahead and..." he motioned to the massage table. Rainbow Dash hopped up and laid on her back. She spread her legs and let her tail hang off the edge of the table. It was nearly as damp as Rarity's after having come out of the sauna, (and all the subsequent coming).

The puffy, cerulean lips of her vulva parted slightly, revealing a sliver of her pink interior. Her musk hung heavy in the air. It was similar to other ponies. Before, he had just thought that was how they smelled, but now he understood better. Rarity had a unique aroma, once he understood what it was. And so did Rainbow Dash. "Does it taste as good as it smells?" he asked without thinking.

Dash gave an egotistical grin. "Ha! Can't resist to taste the rainbow, eh?" She spread her legs a bit wider. "See for yourself!" she offered.

Anon put his hands on her thighs on either side of her pussy and moved them closer as his face did the same. His mouth hung slightly ajar and he didn't realize he was panting, but she could feel his breath on her nethers. Her clitoris winked at him in a quick flash of her pink nub. Even with his limited experience, he could tell that her clit was noticeably smaller compared to every other one he had seen thus far.

"C'mon! Stop teasing!" she pleaded impatiently.

He needed no further coaxing. His hands parted her lips and he leaned in, giving her a bold, first lick. Though expected, his contact still made her whole body shudder as he ran it up along her pussy. Her flavor, like her scent, was similar to Rarity's but subtly different. Yes, it still very much tasted like pussy, and not all that much different from the women he'd had in the past. But like Rarity said, the roles of hygiene and diet were evident. Where Rarity's was like a mildly sweet potpourri, Dash's was much more tart. It has the sort of mouth pucker of a citrus fruit sour candy. Anon realized that she tasted like fucking Skittles®.

He licked her with enthusiasm, thoroughly enjoying it. On the one hand, Anon was delighted that Rarity wasn't an isolated case of good-tasting horse pussy. But the fact that Rainbow's was even better, and in such a different way left him with a strange feeling of dread that this was going to become a deviant hobby of his that he might never be able to fuel enough. He hoped, for his own sanity, that this effect only happened during the spring season for them. He couldn't imagine a lifetime of him meeting new mares year round like, "Good day to you, madam. I'm conducting a survey. May I lick your pussy?"

"Enjoying yourself?" Rainbow asked.

"Mmhmmf," Anon hummed and nodded while keeping his mouth firmly planted in her marehood.

"Alright, well, like I said, I'm kind of in a rush," Dash said. "I have to be at Wonderbolts practice in 90 minutes, in Cloudsdale, so-" Anon focused on licking her small clit. Rainbow bit her lip for a moment but continued. "I appreciate the effort, but I'm no easy comer, so you've kinda got your work cut out for you. I need the main event."

Anon sat up and wiped his mouth and chin on the small towel draped over his shoulder. He held up his forearm and looked at it and then at her lithe form on the table. "Are you sure about this?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Yes! Don't worry. I can take it."

"Okaaay..." Anon rubbed his fingers and palm against the copious wetness of her estrus-addled marehood, giving himself ample lubrication. He prodded at her entrance with his fingers. Despite her confidence, she still felt very tight. Even so, she was quite pliable, and stretched around his fingers as he added more and more. His theory that ponies were made of marshmallow was looking more and more plausible as he watched her pussy stretch around the widest part of his hand as he slid inside her to his wrist.

Rainbow let out a breath that she had been holding. "Come on, I haven't got all morning."

"Alright, alright." Anon slid more of his arm into her. As he reached his elbow, the tips of his fingers grazed her cervix and he curled them back into a fist to avoid hitting it. Once that was set he started moving it in and out of her, at a gradual pace at first, and then faster, as she had requested.

"So why didn't you want Fluttershy or Rarity to see you?" he asked as he fisted her. "Did you not want them to know why you're here? Not to skirt the rules of confidentiality or anything, but I think you could tell that Rarity was here for the same thing."

"It's not that," Rainbow said, waving her hoof as casually as one could while getting an elbow-deep massage. "It's just that, I don't want them to tell Appl- ap uh- about it to my- er, special somepony," she said.

"You think they would do that?" Anon asked, keeping up his pace. "Is it really their business how, or with whom you deal with your heat?"

"No," Rainbow agreed. "But Rarity... Look, I love Rarity, but she's a whorse for gossip."

"Hmff. So I've heard."

"And I just don't want my mare- er, special somepony to get jealous. Sh- They can be kind of possessive."

"Okay... well then why aren't they the one rutting you silly?" he asked.

"Because she- I mean they- um-"

"Because she's a mare?" Anon asked, getting tired of the pronoun game.

"Ugh. Yeah."

"Is it really that big of a deal?" he asked. "I thought it was fairly common."

"Yeah, no- I mean, yeah it's common. But it is a big deal for me," she said.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a lesbian," she said.

Anon's arm stopped moving for a moment. "So, when you say that you have a marefriend... what do you think that means?"

Dash huffed. "Yeah, we have sex, but I'm still straight." Anon raised an eyebrow at her. "I mean, I'm mostly straight."

"You know, bisexual is a thing," he said, resuming her deep tissue massage.

"Yeah, but I'm straight!" Rainbow insisted. "Yeah, she and I have sex. I love her, she's my partner and my soul mate, and all that other mushy stuff, but I still prefer dick! Especially this time of year."

"Do strap-ons not exist?" Anon asked.

"Yes-" Rainbow answered.

"Shame. And here I was in a world of mares about to become a billionaire."

"But she doesn't like using them. And I don't like the feel of them. I can't get off to them. I need the real thing!"

Anon held up his free arm. "I know humans are strange to you, but you know these aren't penises, right?"

Dash rolled her eyes. "I mean, I need a male! The feeling of a warm body penetrating me, like this."

"Well then I'll tell you the same thing I would tell anyone, male or female: Talk to your partner. Does she not understand how you feel?" he asked.

"She does. And we used to have an arrangement. But it doesn't work anymore," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well... we always figured that if we were going to have foals together, I'd want them to be as much like her as possible. So when spring came around, I'd have her brother stud me. So that way when we decided to have foals, we'd already have that relationship established. But then he up and got married! The jerk!"

"I didn't think you had foals, Dash," he said.

Rainbow scoffed. "Of course I don't yet! I'm a Wonderbolt! If I got myself pregnant now, that would be the end of my career! That's why I always used a birth control potion with him. But nothing puts out the flames of heat like a good orgasm from a hard rut, or dose of baby batter in the cooter. He usually didn't do the first one, but the second part always did the trick."

"How colorful... So if you're a Wonderbolt, why doesn't she have a foal then?" he asked.

"With her brother!?"

"No, you dolt! With somepony else!" he said.

"I would still want the foal to be like me, too. And the only other stallion in my family is my dad, and he's married, too. But that would make her foal, like... my half-sibling! And besides, I don't even want to think about him doing it with her. Like, how am I supposed to be able to ever go down on her again know my dad had his wang in there?"

"Imagine how she must have felt after you had been with her brother," he said.

Rainbow's expression was one of sudden realization. "...Oh. Yeah."

"Plus, that would have made her the aunt to your foals. But anyways, I'm surprised you didn't beat the other mare to the punch and marry him first," he said.

Dash blanched, "Eww, no!"

"Spoken like a real heterosexual, yup," Anon jibbed.

"Shut up, asshole. It's not like that. What he and I had was a strictly physical agreement. I didn't love him like that."

"Well speaking of beating somepony to a punch, are you gonna cum soon or what!? My arm's getting tired," he said.

"I'm trying! Are you?" she growled.

"I'm literally sweating," Anon said, literally sweating.

"Yeah, well that's not getting me mentally to that special place," she said. "And for buck's sake, could your technique be any more boring?"

Anon looked down at his arm thrusting in and out of her. "I haven't gotten any complaints before."

"Yeah, well ponies don't stand up and cheer for the Wonderbolts flying in a straight line over and over. You gotta mix it up and do some flips and shit."

"You want me to do 'flips and shit' with my fist in your pussy?" he asked.

"Well at least, like, do a barrel roll," Dash said, articulating her hoof in a circular motion.

"Uhhh..."

Dash huffed. "Stop treating me like I'm made of paper and fuck me up already! I told you I can take it!" Anon started rolling his wrist inside her in a circular motion like she had shown him, occasionally making a bulge appear in her abdomen. Rainbow propped herself up on her elbows to look down at herself as he did, watching the bump appear in her belly each time in fascination. "More like that! Bigger. Harder!" she instructed.

"What the hell do you want me to do, give your uterus an uppercut!?" he asked.

"Oh my gosh, yes!"

Anon adjusted his footing to crouch a bit lower to angle his arm upward into her, really exaggerating the bulge he was making in her abdomen. He was starting to actually get morbidly curious as to just what the hell her threshold even was. He was deforming the contour of her slender belly by as much as the diameter of his entire fist. For the first time since he started, Rainbow started to moan as she ran her hooves over her belly, feeling the bulge he was making with his fist.

Anon worked his arm in and out while curling his fist up into her hooves. "It looks like a foal trying to kick their way out," he remarked.

Rainbow Dash just shuddered in pleasure at the mental image of the words. Her hips started to buck and flex around him. Her legs started to quiver. He could tell she was close, but that she wasn't quite there yet. The distant look on her face of pleasure stared to plateau into a grimace of frustration as she shifted one way and then the other, as though she was trying to work out a wedgie.

"Talk to me, Dash," he said.

"I- I'm almost there, but I-" She kept squirming. "Lemme- lemme flip over!" Anon stopped moving and Dash turned herself over on the table, her body rolling over around his arm still buried inside her. She laid in a kneeling position, face down against the table with her hind end propped up, draping her flagged tail up over her back. "Alright, try that now."

Anon stood up and kept doing what he had been, this time angling his arm downward into her to hit at that same angle that was working before. Her wings sprang out to the sides, free from being under her, which looked like it was already more comfortable for her.

Her hooves slid under her and she played with her clit with one and clutched her belly with the other to feel his fist moving inside her again. "Yeah, yeah!" she moaned "Getting there! Oh fuck I'm so close, I just- I just-" Her moans of pleasure were intercut with growls of growing frustration as she kept getting edged again and again.

Her hind legs continued to quiver and one went out from under her, extending backwards at Anon, narrowly avoiding kicking him in the crotch. Her leg's erratic twitching meant she still might. With his free hand he reached down to grab her hoof to keep it from actually connecting with a blow.

By the stars! As soon as his fingers touched the frog of her hoof, it was like he had jabbed her in the ponut with a 30,000 Volt cattle prod. She came hard and her pussy clamped down on his entire arm like a vice. And she let out a squeal in a pitch usually reserved for batponies. He didn't hear it, so much as he felt it in the fillings of his teeth.

Her wings, which were already fully extended from being stiff, started flapping rapidly. The world's best flyer lived up to her title as she immediately took off straight up from the table, taking Anon with her. Well, sort of. His arm was still firmly stuck in her pussy amid her panic flapping. But as strong of a flyer as she was, it wasn't enough to lift him up off the ground all the way.

The tips of his toes were still sliding around on the floor as she flew around the room, her orgasming pussy dragging him around by his arm, swinging him like a wrecking ball, knocking over the massage table, the bench, his sitting stool and pretty much anything else that wasn't bolted down.

Between the noise of everything crashing around and the shrill tone of what sounded like a fire alarm going off, the door to the suite burst open as Aloe and Lotus came to see what all the commotion was about. At last, Rainbow's pussy relaxed enough for Anon's hanging weight to finally slide his arm free.

As soon as the girth of his hand popped out, the volume of her trapped marecum gushed out, drenching him underneath her. That final release sapped Rainbow of her panicked adrenaline rush and she tumbled out of the air, landing on top of him in a sort of controlled crash.

Lotus gasped in the doorway. "My goodness! Is everything okay?"

Anon moved his arm slowly through its range of motion and gave her a slow thumbs up. Despite everything, he hadn't been hurt beyond a few minor bumps from knocking over things.

Rainbow Dash's legs were still shaking so hard from cumming that her whole body was practically vibrating like a purring cat. Her voice trembled as she gave her concise, five-star review:

"So awesome!"

Author's Note

92851

09. Celestia

The low sunlight of the late afternoon streaked through the spa's lobby windows as Anon shuffled out of his massage suite, preceded by yet another thoroughly-satisfied client prancing through the lobby to the spa's exit.

"Fuck, is it five o'clock yet?" Anon grumbled. "At least the line at the front counter has diminished." Lotus gave him a harsh reminder that the line had just been for ponies making appointments. Anon groaned again.

A younger, more naïve version of himself would have loved the idea of getting paid for this kind of work. (Though maybe not necessarily with ponies.) The reality of it was far more labor-intensive than he had ever imagined. The clock in town square tolled five times to indicate the hour. "Ugh, finally!"

Lotus closed up the spa while Aloe ushered out the remaining patrons, reminding them to return in the morning for another chance to make an appointment.

Anon shuffled his feet through the lobby in nothing more than the boxers that Rarity had tailored for him. The rest of his clothes had gone into the wash earlier that day and he didn't bother to retrieve them. They clung to him with wetness, him having hosed himself down without even bothering to remove them. They were as dirty as the rest of him had been. And likely, still were. He shuffled over into Suite 2 and flopped face-first onto Lotus's massage table, letting the dead weight of his arms hang to either side of him like bags of cement.

"Meester Anon, are you alright?" Lotus asked with concern as she trotted in after him.

"No. I'm dead," he grumbled. Anon had never really been out of shape in his life. He was one of those blessed people with a great metabolism. Just the same, he was no body builder. Even with his experienced, toned muscles from being a masseur back in his world, he had been ill-prepared for just how much sheer exertion was involved with fist-fucking dozens of mares to orgasm one after another.

Lotus reached out to touch him, grimacing for a moment before making contact. Anon could hardly blame her for it. He had washed himself off as best as he could. But he had been repeatedly drenched in his clients'... satisfaction, to the point that it felt like it practically permeated into his pores. He had gone nose-blind to the smell. Clearly Lotus hadn't.

"Anon?" Aloe said from the doorway of the suite.

"Tired." Aloe sat beside the table and looked at him with concern. "Just- need-a minuh- t- rest," he assured her. Lotus pulled open a drawer in her suite's storage unit. She retrieved a jar of cream and applied a bit to her hooves and then passed it to her sister. Lotus started rubbing down Anon's shoulder on her side. "Whussat?" he asked.

"Muscle cream," Lotus said. "For your tired arms." Aloe started rubbing down his other shoulder. Anon found that he had to alternate between using both of them to give each one a break between clients. "For soreness, relaxation, and heeealing." The cream felt cool at first, and a little tingly like a menthol rub, then as she rubbed it in it felt warmer. "Anon? You are making a lot of ponies very happy, taking care of them like that,"

"Mhmm, I can tell."

"Don't forget to let yourself be taken care of," Aloe added.

"Thank you, ladies," Anon said.

"Shhh..." Lotus whispered. "You can thank us another day when your strength returns."

It took no leap of his imagination to know just how.

Anon stood outside the door to his condo in the fading light of the evening. His arms hung limp at his sides. The key to the door was in his pants pocket. It should have been a simple enough task for him to reach into his pocket and retrieve the key. Normally that was true. But life had been anything but normal since he had arrived in this world. And while his arms weren't sore anymore, they still felt very heavy.

The key in his hand felt like the weight of a dying star as he pulled it out of his pocket and put it into the door's lock. He opened the door and shuffled inside, closing it behind him. He made his way through the dim hallway of his condo and flopped onto his bed.

~ Babies didn't sleep this well. ~

Anon walked into work with a spring in his step, bright-eyed and ready to take on the day. He clocked in early, even, which was a first. He stood with a smile, bounding with energy, ready to receive his first client as the clock tower chimed the morning's opening hour.

The clock tower rang.

"Oh fuuuugg!" Anon groaned, crawling out of his bed. It was a dream. And now he was already late for work. Luckily he was already dressed, as he had slept in his clothes. He threw open his front door and headed out... And immediately face-planted into the ground. He tripped over something on his front stoop. He wiped the grass off his face and looked at the box, reading the tag:

From Rarity 💋

He opened the box quickly. It was a whole new set of clothes and an assortment of new boxer shorts in a variety of colors and fabric patterns. Anon quickly darted back inside his condo and got changed. He was now even more late, but at least he didn't look like a shambling transient. He jogged past Sugar Cube Corner. There was no time for breakfast. Perhaps he could order delivery.

Arriving at the spa, there was a large crowd waiting outside of it. It wasn't entirely unexpected for him. But it wasn't the organized line that it had been the day before. This one looked more like an angry mob.

"Let us in!" one mare yelled.

"It's past opening time!"

"My appointment was ten minutes ago!"

"IT'S HIM!"

The sea of ponies turned and looked at him. Anon felt his stomach drop. "Oh fuck." But the stampede he was expecting never came. He cautiously walked closer to the spa. The crowd of ponies fell silent and parted to let him though to the spa entrance. The door was still locked, and the sign said 'Closed'.

Anon knocked and peered through the glass. Lotus was rushing around the spa frantically, and didn't even notice him. Aloe managed to see him and rushed over to let him in, locking the door behind him to keep out the crown.

"Hey Aloe, I just wanted to thank you and Lotus for that cream, my arms feel-"

"Anon! Where in Tartarus have you bean?"

"I'm sorry, I know I'm late, but I was super tired last night and-"

"Alright, that enchantment should do it," a unicorn said, walking out of Anon's massage suite, "Totally sound proofed."

"Thank you, Miss Amethyst," Lotus said to the mare. "Yesterday was very... awkward."

"And I get a priority slot in the queue, right?" Amethyst asked.

"Unless Meester Anon wishes to pay for the work himself," Lotus said, looking pointedly at the human.

"Actually, I'd really rather have that appointment," Amethyst insisted, shuffling her hind legs.

"At your pleasure," Aloe said. "Anon? Your first client awaits."

Anon flexed his arms through their range of motion, preparing for a long day ahead. They weren't tired, or even that sore. At worst, they felt like he had done a light set of jumping jacks. That cream was a damn miracle. "Alright, let's do this!" Anon waved her toward the suite.

The commotion of the crowd outside rose up again. At first, all present inside thought it was in outrage at the line-jumper.

"Out of the way!" a gruff stallion's voice came from the back of the crowd.

"Stand aside!" another said.

"Make way!"

A pair of spears waded through the crowd toward the entrance. At last a pair of stallions emerged in front of the doors covered from horn to heel in the brass armor of the Royal Guard. "Open this door in the name of the princess!"

"Goodness!" Aloe gasped, rushing over to open the door, letting them inside, and closing it behind them.

The unicorn guard looked at Anon. "Stop right there, criminal scum! Nopony breaks the law on my watch!" He slapped a set of cuffs around Anon's wrists.

"What is the meaning of this!?" Lotus demanded.

"We've received reports of unauthorized studding!" the pegasus stallion said. He looked at Anon. "Have you a fucking permit!?"

"A what now?" Anon asked.

The other guard slapped him in the back of his knees with the shaft of his spear, causing his legs to buckle. "We'll be asking the questions, scum!"

"Have you! A fucking! PERMIT!" the first yelled in his face, spraying it as much as saying it.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Anon said.

"Wrong answer!" the unicorn guard yelled at him. "Search him!"

The pegasus guard checked Anon's pockets. Finding nothing but the key to Anon's condo, and a bit pouch that he had emptied at home. "No permit!" he reported.

"Book 'em!" the unicorn said. The other put cuffs on him. "You have the right to remain silent-"

"I'm being arrested!?" Anon yelped. "On what charges?"

"Studding without a permit!" The pegasus said.

"Anything you say can be used against you in court," the unicorn continued.

"I didn't know I needed a permit!" Anon said.

"Ignorance of the law is not a defense!"

"Aloe! Lotus! I'm sorry, I-"

"And you two," the pegasus took out a pad of paper and issued the spa twins a ticket. "A steep fine for commercial aiding and abetting unlawful studding on the premises."

"You have a right to an attorney," the unicorn continued as he led Anon outside. The first officer joined them and they made their way through the crowd.

"Hey where are you taking him!" one of the mares yelled.

"To be processed at the police station," the guards told her

"Hey! I had an appointment with him!" another mare cried out.

"Me too!"
"Me too!" Other mares joined into the protest.

"Studding without a permit is a crime!" the guard said.

"Let him get a permit!"
"Let him work!"
"Let him go!"

The crowd was growing increasingly agitated and closed in on them. Though armed, and armored, the guards were hopelessly outnumbered by the mob of angry, horny mares. A force of nature not to be trifled with.

"Sir?" the pegasus guard asked nervously.

"ALRIGHT, FINE! We'll take him to get a permit at town hall!" the unicorn said.

The two guards flanked Anon as they escorted him to town hall. The crowd of mares followed after them, but were made to wait outside town hall once they got there. Anon was led inside to an annex chamber to the main room. Inside, three of the four walls were lined with benches that were filled with stallions. It was the most male ponies Anon had ever seen since he arrived in this world.

Though he could hardly pay them much notice. The far side of the room was the center of everypony's attention. Mayor Mare was overseeing the proceedings of permit issuance. Proceedings which, for lack of better language, were effectively live-action studding tryouts.

A mare that Anon didn't recognize was presently being covered by a beige stallion humping away in the front of the room. Beside them another mare was holding a stopwatch and a third had a clipboard.

The stallion finished and dismounted. "Twenty seven seconds!" another mare with the stopwatch reported.

"A good showing!" a third mare with a clipboard said. The mare that had just been rutted was a unicorn whose mane looked like toothpaste. She looked at the one with the clipboard, giving a small shake of her head. The one with the clipboard filled in the form before giving it to Mayor Mare. The mayor read it over and stamped a card with a bold B.

The white mare with the clipboard looked at Anon and the royal guards and put her pen into the bun of her brown mane. "Is there a problem?" she asked as she walked over.

"Miss Raven, he needs an expedited issuance," the guard told her.

"Okay, I need to do one more for the form I already started and then I can cut him in," Raven Inkwell said. She adjusted her glasses and resumed her post by the Mayor. The other stallions on the benches grumbled and glared at Anon. None looked too pleased to see him. The guard undid Anon's cuffs and sat him down on the end of the bench, keeping watch over him.

"Caramel?" Raven called out. A tan stallion with a brown mane got up from the bench and approached her. Raven's assistant knelt down and produced a tape measure. He needed no other coaxing to become fully erect. She measured his length, and girth, and read off the measurements to Raven, who recorded them. Her assistant stepped away, and waved him toward the breeding mare. "You may begin whenever you are ready."

Caramel mounted the mare and penetrated her. Raven's assistant started her stopwatch. A few second later it was the scene that they had walked in on. He finished and dismounted her with a wet 'pop', and his softening dick swung free like a heavy pendulum. Her assistant read off the time. The mare being rutted shook her head. Mayor Mare looked over the paperwork and issued him a card with a bold B stamp emblazoned on it.

"Alright, Anon. You're next," Raven said.

"Wait, what!?" Anon said. "Hold up, I didn't know this was what I was going to be doing!"

"If you want to stud, you need a permit!" the guard told him.

"We're not barbarians," Mayor Mare said. "Studs need to be registered so we can keep track of them for public health concerns."

"Equestria wants her slice," one of the other stallions on the bench grumbled. The others murmured in agreement.

Mayor Mare gave him a stern look. "And yes, the tax revenue is nice. To help support all the single mothers you boys make every year." The rabble of the stallions grew a bit louder. "I don't have to issue more of these," Mayor Mare said. Her threatening tone was thinly veiled as she waved her stamp at them. The crowd went quiet.

Mayor Mare looked at Anon and showed him an example permit. "We take your measurements, and grade your performance. If your mare experiences and orgasm, you get a bonus multiplier. You'll get an A, B, C, or D class permit, A being the best, D being the... least best. Your permit class will determine your asking rates. Simple. Now if you would...?" She motioned for him to walk over to Raven, her assistant brandishing a tape measure.

"Okay, for one, I didn't know I was going to be doing this today!" Anon said. "And for two, I didn't think it would be in front of an audience!"

Raven looked at him over her glasses. "Oh. Performance anxiety? That's going to be a penalty." She made a mark on her test sheet. "Alright, strip."

Anon looked back at the guard by the door. "It's this or the slammer!" the guard told him. Anon unbuttoned his shirt and nervously stepped out of his pants and boxers. Despite the sexual nature of the situation, he was still quite flaccid.

"Do you need a fluffer?" Raven asked.

"Fluffer?" Anon asked.

"Minuette?" Raven called. The freshly-rutted unicorn mare with the toothpaste mane trotted over to him and held his penis with her magic. Before he could even react, she started sucking it.

"Whoahohoaheynow!" Anon stammered. His objections melted away as the mare demonstrated that she clearly knew what she was doing with her oral technique. Anon was fully erect in ten seconds flat. "Whoa whoa, stop," Anon said. "You don't have to do this." She stopped sucking at his behest and looked up at him.

"Have to?" Minuette said, looking confused. "Do you know how long I've been waiting to win the lottery to be here!? To get rutted by all these studs for free!?"

"Uh... okay."

Minuette looked at his erection. "Is that... it?" she asked. The other stallions snickered. Anon didn't say no. "Twinkleshine?" Minuette waved over Raven's assistant who held out the tape measure. She read off the measurements of his length and girth, much to the louder snickering of the other stallions. "Don't listen to them," Minuette whispered to him. "There hasn't been an A class stud since Big Mac got married. Just do your best, and you'll still get a permit, even if it's a D." She turned around and flagged her tail at him.

"So do you want me to just... go for it?"

"The timer starts as soon as you penetrate, and ends once you cum," Mayor Mare explained. "Don't try to fake not cumming, or else Minuette will tell us. Once you start, don't stop. No taking breaks or going slow to prolong it. Just keep a steady pace. Understand?"

"Okay, I get it," Anon said. "And you're alright with this?" he asked Minuette.

Minuette nodded enthusiastically. "It's what I've been waiting for! And we only just started! So I haven't... you know, gotten off yet. So I'm a little antsy to get to it!"

"There are a lot of other stud applicants, Anon. If there are no more delays?" Mayor Mare asked insistently.

"Well excuuuse me, Mayor!" Anon said. "But consent is important to me."

Minuette smirked. "She's just grumpy because she hasn't gotten off yet, either," she whispered.

"I heard that," Mayor said.

"Anon?" Twinkleshine waved her stopwatch at him.

"Alright, alright," Anon said. He walked up behind Minuette and put one hand on her hip and the other to guide his dick into her. Once he slid it in, he heard the stopwatch beep. As instructed, he started thrusting at a regular pace. Several stallions laughed at his form, or lack there of. Just standing there behind her and not even leaning to put his weight on her and over to cover her to assert dominance. But not having to bear the weight of a stallion on her back let Minuette be able to enjoy herself more.

Ten, fifteen, twenty seconds later and he was still plapping away. The laughing among the stallions stopped.

Thirty seconds passed by. Mayor Mare asked, "Is he using a spell or a potion?"

Raven's magic scanned him quickly. "He's clean."

After a full minute of Anon's balls hitting Minuette's clit her legs started to quiver and a spurt of wetness dripped onto the floor.

"Was that him?" Mayor asked.

"No, that was her," Raven said, watching in fascination as the human showed no signs of stopping.

"That shouldn't count! She was warmed up!" one of the stallions yelled in protest.

Minuette's clit winked harder as he fucked right through her orgasm, sending her spiraling into another one less than another thirty seconds later. Her front hooves gave out and she fell forward. The angle only served to accentuate the degree of her clitoris extending and being his. Minuette started tapping the floor frantically as her pussy squirted again. 'Tapping out', it seemed.

"Twinkleshine, swap in!" Mayor Mare said.

"What- already!?" she yelped.

Raven took the stopwatch from her. "Get in there quickly before Minuette passes out!"

Twinkleshine quickly stood in place next to Minuette and flagged her tail.

"You want me to-"

"Yes! Switch over!" Twinkleshine told him. Anon quickly pulled out of Minuette and mounted Twinkleshine. At first, Twinkleshine couldn't understand what the big deal was. He was only about as thick as a colt, and not even half the length of one. But as her session stretched on beyond the half-minute mark as well, his persistent fucking was making all the nerve endings in the first few inches of her vagina go positively wild. The rest of that first minute had her clit winking out to meet his thrusts. She didn't make quite as big of a squirt as Minuette, but not even two minutes into her portion of the session and her whinny punctuated her orgasm dripping from her, spotting the floor.

"Again!?" Raven asked in astonishment. Twinkleshine nodded quickly with her teeth grit to keep from moaning out loud.

Anon looked over his shoulder at the other stallions. Most looked like their jaws were barely hanging on as they watched him turn a second mare into a quivering mess. He started thrusting harded just to make a show of it. Like the mare before her, Twinkleshine's hooves gave out from under her. Anon held her fast and didn't stop. Twinkleshine pawed at the floor in agony and ecstasy. But she didn't tap out. She held out and her hind legs held firm. Raven made note of a fresh batch of wetness splashing with each slap of his hips against hers. And then Twinkleshine's whole body went limp.

"She's out cold!" Raven reported.

"Get in there!" Mayor Mare said.

Raven dutifully took her place next to Twinkleshine's unconscious body as Mayor Mare picked up the stopwatch. Anon switched over to start fucking Raven. Not more than twenty seconds in, and she was already starting to breath heavy.

"Okay, you've made your point!" Raven moaned at him. "Feel free to finish! Don't expect to make me orgasm." She could actually hear Anon smile. He leaned over her and wrapped his arms around her torso, holding her tight as he started to speed-fuck her. "What are you doing!?"

"This is how we do it... HUMAN-style!" Anon reached around under her belly, his fingers playing with her clit as he fucked her harder and faster. The pencil in her mane fell out, along with the rest of her bun. Her mane fell free in a tangled mess swishing back and forth along with her body. Her mouth hung open as she panted and started to sweat. Her glasses slid off her slick nose and clattered onto the floor. She hardly noticed as she got her living daylights rutted right out of her. Anon's skilled fingers deftly playing with her clit in a way that no stallion's tongue or magic ever could.

Raven clenched her eyes and chewed her lip to try to stifle her moans, but she just moaned through her nose instead. She kept waiting for that familiar feeling of a penis throbbing inside her to let her know the ride was over, but on he went, and still it didn't come. But she could feel it coming for her. That pressure building in her belly. She didn't think she would be in this position until long after lunch, let alone teetering on the brink of an orgasm brought on by a just one male during a stud tryout. She knew herself. She knew what was coming next. She tried to keep herself from cumming, but she was in a runaway train heading for the brink.

"GHn-Nnnnooo!" Raven cried out in a final protest as her clit winked into his fingers one last time. Her pussy winked around his dick, gripping at it as she came hard, all at once in a big gush, soaking his feet where he stood. Her hind legs went limp, but he just held onto her, supporting her weight with his arm wrapped around her, letting her hind legs dangle freely. Her front hooves idly shuffled around and her head hung low, blushing in embarrassment at the mess she made.

Anon felt his own climax coming on. He grunted and growled with his last few hard thrusts. Part of it was for show, to make a point. Part of it was fucking out of frustration of being so pent up in this world. Part of it just came from deep down in the primal part of his brain, to fuck, to rut, to claim this female as his property. "NGGHHAAH!" Anon growled and wrapped both arms around her and stood upright as he came, lifting her with him like a half-suplex. He held her up in front of him, with her back pinned to his chest, as she came again and he came inside her.

Her hind legs kicked in panic, and his dick popped free of her pussy, followed by a fresh spray of her orgasm arcing out in front of them with impressive distance across the floor. With what strength he had left, he placed Raven on the floor as gently as he could manage to let her recover. Her legs gave out from under her and she just laid on the floor, in her own mess, and also his dripping from her pussy.

Anon stood there before Mayor Mare, butt naked in town hall, soaked from the waist down in mare cum, in front of the other prospective studs, with three thoroughly-fucked mares laying at his feet.

"How was that?" he asked the mayor.

Mayor Mare realized that she was drooling and looked down at the stopwatch, remembering to stop it. She adjusted her glasses and nervously scrawled with her pen, murmuring to herself as she worked, "Length, times girth, times... time..." She looked over her math, and then looked it over again. She set the form down and turned around to reach into a drawer and pulled out a small case. She blew the dust off of it and opened it. Inside was a stamp and ink pad just like the others. But unlike the other stamps, A through D, this stamp was an S, and the ink was metallic gold-flake.

"S!?" Anon asked as he got dressed. "What, does that mean I Suck!?"

"No, Anon," Mayor Mare said, carefully stamping his permit with reverence. "I just didn't bother to mention S because there hasn't been a stud of that class since the time of Rockhoof. Big Macintosh and Troubleshoes came close in their prime. But you..." Mayor Mare shook her head in exasperation.

One of the stallions spoke up. "Yeah, but he had performance anxiety!
"And he had to be fluffed!" another yelled!

"I assure you, I factored those penalties in," Mayor Mare said. "And Anon is still an S-class Stud."

"I still don't know what that means," Anon said.

Mayor Mare blinked and looked at him, still in disbelief. "Simply put; S is better than A class. It's reserved for studs that are just... off the charts!"

Anon took the permit card from her.

F.U.C.C. PERMIT
Fornication Under Consent of the Crown
Anonymous
S CLASS STUD
Witness: Mayor Mare

Anon recalled the guard yelling at him earlier, "Oh, a fuccing permit! I get it. Cool. So does this mean I'll get a raise?"

"As an S class, it means you can name whatever price you want, and mares will consider it a privilege to pay it," Mayor Mare said, eyeing him up and down. "But first, there are customs to be seen to." She looked at the guards by the door and nodded.

The two guards came to escort him once more.

"Wait, I've got a permit now, so I'm good right?" Anon asked.

"Yes, but there is the matter of Prima Nocta," Mayor Mare said. "The crown gets first rights to any S-class studs."

The guards ushered Anon out of the room. Mayor Mare looked at the other stallions and at the three mares still panting on the floor. "I'm going to call for a recess to let these poor girls recover. And somepony open a damn window!"

The guards escorted Anon outside to greet the waiting crowd. "Make way," the unicorn guard said. "Make way in the name of the princess!"

"Does he have a permit now?" one of the mares asked.

"Show them," the pegasus guard said.

Anon took out his card and held it up for them to see. The gold ink of the bold S glittered in the sunlight.

"Alright ladies, you know the rules!" the unicorn said. "The princess gets first dibs. You can have him back once she's done with him!"

The pegasus guard ushered Anon into the nearby chariot car, and then strapped himself into the yoke. The unicorn leaned in toward his partner. "You had best get him to Canterlot and back as quick as you can, or else there won't be much of a Ponyville left with all these horny mares about."

Anon was not a fan of heights. He huddled low in the chariot car as it took off into the sky and flew up and up toward the city perched on the side of the mountain. He had seen the distant silhouette of Canterlot from Ponyville since the first day he arrived in the town, but he never imagined what it would look like up close.

The brochures didn't do it justice.

Canterlot Castle, the jewel of the city, glittered in the mid-day sun. The chariot landed in the strip of city road just outside the gate. Where they landed, there was a statue with a filly, centaur, and a bug-pony thing that looked like she was made of swiss cheese.

The pegasus guard that flew him there unhitched himself and led him inside the castle gate. "You should feel honored, you know," he said to Anon as they walked. "In the old days stallions would have killed for the mere opportunity to rut the princess." He looked at Anon's pocket with his permit in it. "I would be careful with that. There could be some that still might." They approached the guard posted outside the throne room door.

"Halt! Who goes there?" the guard gryphon demanded.

"Shut up, Private!" Anon's escort said. "Just because you're her favorite, doesn't mean you get to pull that shit with me!"

"Sorry sir," the gryphon apologized.

"Is the princess busy, Gallus?" he asked.

"Well, if by busy you mean-"

"Is she busy with a guest?" he asked him.

"No. She's reading," Gallus said.

"Okay, so, no."

Gallus rolled his eyes. "Your funeral for interrupting her." He stepped aside and opened the door. Anon and the pegasus walked in. On the throne sat the princess of Equestria, nose-deep in a book. They stopped at the bottom of the steps in front of the throne and waited. She held up a 'one moment' hoof while she finished the page she was on.

"Hey Twi, we-" Anon's escort smacked him in the back of his legs with the shaft of his spear hard enough to drop him to his knees.

"Show some respect, ape!" he yelled at him.

"Hey now!" Princess Twilight Sparkle scolded the guard. "There's no need for that!" She looked back at the page she was reading. "Aaand I lost my place." She huffed and tucked a bookmark into the page and set it down on the side of the throne and walked down to greet them. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. Just hurt my pride," Anon said.

"Now then, Anon, what brings you here?" she asked.

"Show her," the guard said.

Anon showed Twilight his permit. "Oh." Twilight blushed and looked at the guard. "That will be all, Sergeant. Thank you." The pegasus bowed and dismissed himself from the throne room. Once the door closed and they were alone, Twilight turned to talk to Anon. "So how have you been?" she asked. "I haven't seen you since you first arrived. I trusted that no news was good news." She looked at the permit in her hoof. "And now this..."

"And now this," Anon echoed.

Twilight looked at the permit, and then him, and then blushed. "OH! No, not me!" she said.

"What!?"

"I assume you're here because of Prima Nocta, right?" she asked. He nodded. "Yeah, okay, that's not me!" she assured him.

"Well there's no need to get so defensive about it," Anon said.

"No it's not that, it's just- It's not you, I mean," Twilight flustered. "Goodness knows I'll need to sort myself out with my stud soon enough this season. But what I mean is, when I first took over, everything was left to me. I realized that as an Alicorn, the word 'lifetime' has a different meaning, but I never thought I would see this in my lifetime." She sighed and continued. "One of the best lessons I ever learned about ruling, is how to delegate. And this is one of those things that I delegated. Or rather, I just never took the job from the original pony holding the position."

"And that would be...?" Anon asked.

"Princess retired... Celestia."

Celestia's private suite in Canterlot castle was lavish. Her washroom alone was the size of Anon's entire condo in terms of sheer floor space. Her bath tub was the size of a small pool. Which made sense. Anon had been led to believe that the Alicorn princesses were a good deal larger than 'normal' ponies. Princess Twilight was slightly bigger than other mares, but only barely a bit bigger than a stallion. It was just as well for Anon. Tall as he was, Celestia's tub was the first one in this world that he was able to relax in without feeling cramped.

Though it was a bit strange to be bathed by the royal wash staff. For a variety of reasons. Not the least of which was the dull, white cataracts of their blind eyes.

"Is the water a good temperature?" one of the blind ponies asked.

"It's perfect," Anon said.

"Can I get you anything else to eat," another asked, picking up his plate from the tray beside the tub, feeling the weight of it. "Goodness, you've hardly touched your pineapple slices. You really should finish those."

"I'm fine," Anon said.

"You'll need your strength and... She likes the flavor of pineapple. You should eat them," she said. Her tone made it slightly more imperative than a simple suggestion.

"Okay, I'll work on it," he said.

"It is well that you should!" the blind pony scrubbing his back said. "You must eat hearty and ready yourself, body, mind and spirit."

"Okay guys, I get it. I'll carbo-load up, sheesh."

"He still doesn't get it," one of them said as he moved around the other side of the tub.

"Mhmm," the others just hummed in agreement. Despite them all being blind, they moved with practiced precision around the room and each other.

"Stand," another instructed. Anon carefully stood up in the tub and she scrubbed his lower half, giving special care to his genitals.

"Not that I don't love the attention, but I can wash myself," Anon said.

"It must be done in accordance to the scripture," she said. "This is the way."

"This is the way," the others echoed.

Her hooves cradled his penis and testicles and gently washed them. Though she frowned. Despite not being able to see, she could plainly feel his size. Or lack there of. "Hardly feels like an S-class. Is this illusion or a cruel pony's sense of humor?"

"We have our assurances from Princess Twilight and Mayor Mare that his credentials are genuine," another pony assured her.

"So... why are you guys all blind?" Anon asked, trying his best to not seem rudely blunt about it. "I mean, I'm not asking how. But is it a requirement for this job?"

"We were selected for this because of it," one said. "She saved us from a life of disability, and poverty. We are blessed for it."

"I was once a photographer," the male said. "I was one of the best. You shall see my greatest work, soon. But in capturing it, there was an accident with the magnesium tray. The chemical burns in my eyes left me blind. But life has many doors. After a trip to the gelding clinic, I could ask for nothing better."

"Gelding?" Anon asked. The former stallion turned in place and lifts his leg. It was then that Anon noticed the pony was missing his 'coin purse'.

"I was not a mare. And no mere stallion may work in the royal bath. It was a trifle sacrifice for the opportunity."

"I looked at the sun for too long," one of the mares explained. "At first, it was a challenge to see how long I could do it without blinking, despite my parents warning me not to. It was hard at first, but I got better at it with time. Because I was slowly going blind from it. But my love affair with the sun runs deep. Even now, as I can not see it, I rise to meet the dawn, feeling the warmth on my face. And it is the same, being here."

"And what about you?" Anon asked the mare washing his balls.

"Conjunctivitis."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Don't fuck around with pink eye."

"Okay, but why do you need to be blind for this job?" he asked.

"It is for our protection," the gelding said.

"What, is she like Medusa? Is she really that ugly?"

"Blasphemy!"
"Heresy!"
"Do not blaspheme!"

The mare scolded him, "Such profane language has no place even being in the same sentence as Her name, Celestia, praise be unto She!"

"Praise be unto She!" the others echoed.

"He will see, soon enough," the gelding said. "The fates will decide what happens next."

One mare toweled him dry as he stepped out of the tub. The other mare brought him a bath robe. It was large, but still pony-shaped. It did well enough to cover him. A velvety combination of mink and suede, it was like sex for his skin. It was monogramed with a flowery C. "Fineries too good for a heretic," she spat.

They led him to a set of three large pillows on the floor of the main room, directing him to sit on one.

The gelding retrieved an envelope from a bureau drawer. He gave it to Anon. It was heavy and stiff. Unclasping the flap, he slid out a glass plate photograph with reverance. It was old technology, even by this world's anachronistic standards. "My greatest masterpiece," the gelding said, and then motioned to the other photos on the wall.

Anon had dabbled a bit in photography in college. The technique of taking photos, the importance of lighting, and the development process. Just looking at it, he could tell that the photo plate wasn't terrible old, but it looked very aged. Anon looked at the other photos. It was evident that the pony knew how to take good photographs. But the one he considered his 'masterpiece' looked like it was oversaturated with hard lighting, over-exposed, and over-developed. Anon squinted at the photo. Beneath the washed-out blurriness of it, he could just barely make out the rough outline of a mare's pale backside, vulva, anus, and dock.

"It may not look like much," the gelding said, as though reading Anon's mind. "But that is the very best capture that could be had. It cost me my camera, my sight, and very nearly my life! But it was worth it all." He took the photo back and slid it back into the envelope.

"Wait here," the mare said. "Your council will be here soon. Do try to be a bit more grateful. None before you have had such opportunity to prepare." The final words spoken to him before they left.

"..."

Anon sat and waited. The late afternoon sun was hanging low in the sky. He glanced at it and looked away. That blind mare's story renewed his fears in youth of looking at it too long. After some time had passed, he heard the rhythmic heavy steps of somepony approaching. A large somepony.

The door opened and a horse of a pony walked inside. A stocky beast of an enquire if ever Anon had seen one. Big Macintosh had nothing on this creature's frame. Anon stood to greet the blue stallion sporting a blonde, burly beard along with his mane. He was the first pony to nearly be at the same height as Anon, even on all fours.

"Nay, keep yer seat. Yewl be need'n all yer strength soon enough," the stallion said in a heavy highland accent. "Anonymous," the stallion greeted. "I've heard a lotta 'bout you. I must say, yer appearance is exactly as I imagined." Anon wasn't sure if that was a complement or not. "The name's Rockhoof, case they idn't tell ya. Dunno if ya might'a erd a me."

"Wait, Rockhoof?" Anon asked. "As in the Rockhoof? The Pillar... and apparently stud of legend?"

"Aye."

"But I thought that was like, a thousand years ago."

"Aye."

"So how are you here now?" Anon asked.

"Tis a long tale of magic an' time travel'n shenanigans. Maybe one day I'll chew yer ear 'bout it over a few pints if'n yeh survive."

"Wait, what? Survive!?" Anon asked nervously.

Rockhoof let out a hearty laugh. "Nay, laddie! I'ma just yank'n yer chain! Probably. But I am here fer a real serious matter, on account a yer call to Prima Nocta."

"Everyone keeps saying that. What does that mean?" Anon asked.

"In Olde Ponish, it means First Night," Rockhoof said. "Ancient law that the princess gets first crack at the best stud a the land. An' a once upon a time, that was me!" He thumped his own chest with his hoof. Anon looked him up and down. Rockhoof was very much the superlative architype of a hyper-masculine stallion if ever there was one. He didn't hazard to look but he assumed that he was proportionately large everywhere.

"And now?" Anon asked.

"I ain't no young buck no more," Rockhoof said. "It'd be a real privilege to stud for Her again. But it would be a dishonor to the station of the royal stud. An' She deserves nothin' less then m' best. But I'll nay be as good as I once was. I ain't worthy of the station n'more. For the unprepared, or unworthy, it breaks them, blinds them, drives them to madness!"

"You're not making me feel less nervous right now," Anon said.

"Right ya should be," Rockhoof said. "I'd a tell ya not t' feel at way, lad, but that'd be a right fabrication. And I ain't come to try ta blow rainbows up yer kilt." He looked Anon up and down. "I'll trust to whatever got yew yer rank t' get the job done, once you've had your... experience." The way Rockhoof emphasized that last word intrigued Anon.

"Experience?" Anon asked.

"Aye. That's what I've come to council ye on," he said. "And there ain't a no other word for it! None that we mere mortals have'n invented. By the stars and stones, I wish I'd had someone t' tell me before my first time... When you first see Her, like, really see Her..." Rockhoof trailed off and his eyes just sort of went unfocused on nothing. "We simple creatures haven't the vocabulary for it. She has a magic, a glamor that She wears all the time, to veil Her true form. To dull her true beauty. It's a kindness for those around her from day to day. But she can't wear it when she bathes. That's why her staff have t' be blind. An when yew stud 'er, yew won't have that protection either. And that's why yew need t'be prepared. I'd recommend a banana for the nausea."

"Nausea?" Anon asked.

"Aye." Rockhoof shrugged. "Maybe. Everybody's experience is different. And every body's experience is different. There's just no knowing."

"And a banana is good to prevent nausea?" Anon asked.

Rockhoof chuckled. "Nay, laddie. But it'll taste bout the same on the way up as down." Anon was visibly nervous. "Ya don't need to be frightened to be prepared," Rockhoof assured him. "The experience, it's not a bad thing. It's like the first time havin' sex. I can go on and on tell'n ya 'bout what to expect, but nothing can truly prepare you for it. It's the closest you'll get t' Valhalla while yer heart is still beating. I d'know how else t' describe it."

Outside the window, the sun slipped below the horizon. The dusk gave way to the city blanketed in the darkness of night.

Rockhoof frowned. "Our time's up." He put his hoof on Anon's shoulder. "Good luck. Do the S-Class proud." He turned and left.

Anon sat and waited. At the earlier recommendations, he tried to meditate, at the very least to try to calm his nerves. He wanted to dismiss all of it as some sort of elaborate hoax or prank. But that look on Rockhoof's face, that disconnected stare on the massive stallion, like when someone described the way a tornado destroying their whole town... It was a look of somepony who had seen too much, a look of utter humility in the face of a force of nature.

Sitting in the silent room, he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. The steady rhythm growing louder with each beat. No, it was steps in the hallway he was hearing. So light and quiet that he was scarcely sure if he was hearing them, or just imagining it. Perhaps it was another dainty hoof-maiden bringing him a banana. A yellow aura of magic glowed around the door handle and it opened.

And there She was.

Her fur coat as pure white as the driven snow. The swirling pastels of Her voluminous mane. The deep pools of purple in Her eyes. Even without Her golden shoes, peytral, or crown, a blind pony would still be able to recognize Celestia. So too, did Anon. He had see Her image numerous times since he had arrived in this world. He stood to greet Her.

"Celestia."

"Anonymous," she greeted back.

"So, uh... how does this work? Do I kneel or bow, or is there a ceremony or something?"

Celestia let out a mirthful chuckle. "No, no, nothing so formal."

"Okay."

"Princess Twilight has told me a great deal about you."

"Likewise," he said.

"I'm sure she has." She walked inside and closed the door behind her. She gave him a grin that was in that uncanny valley between sultry and mischievous. "I was planning on meeting you at some point. Whoever would have guessed it would be in this way?"

"Hehe.."

She approached him. Anon realized that Celestia was tall. Taller than him, even. She moved with such light grace and poise that her hooves barely made a sound on the floor. She walked around him in a small circle, inspecting him from all sides with hungry eyes, stepping with such perfect confidence that the role of predator and prey was clear to them both. "You seem nervous."

"Not at all," Anon tried to say, but the noise that came out of his throat was more of a dry squeak.

Celestia chuckled. "I take it Rockhoof had a chat with you?"

"Mhmm."

"You don't need to be frightened," Celestia assured him. "I won't bite... not hard." Her attempt at humor hadn't put him any more at ease. "Come now. What did he tell you that has you so nervous?"

"He, uh... he said that the first time I saw you, it would be an experience." Anon said.

"Is it not?" Celestia asked, playfully coy.

"You are beautiful," Anon said.

"Thank you," she said with a small nod. "He must have been referring to this," Celestia said, swishing her voluminous tail to the side. Anon looked, and then did a double take. Beneath the dock of her tail was just bare white fur. Her genitals were entirely absent. Complete, anatomical incorrectness.

"Okay, so how is this going to work?" Anon asked. "There's nothing there."

She turned around to face him again. "There is," she assured him. "You just can't see it... yet." She gently placed her hoof on his shoulder, nudging the collar of her bath robe he was wearing aside. Is slipped down off of him, leaving him standing naked before her. Her eyes briefly glanced at his flaccid human genitalia. Whatever reaction she may have felt to seeing it, it didn't show on her face. "Well color me intrigued," she mused, "S-class."

"Yeah, well... it's not the tool, it's the talent of the tradesman wielding it," Anon said.

"Quite right..." Celestia agreed with the barest hint of a grin. Her head tilted slightly to the side. "Interesting... Most stallions go their entire lives without grasping that."

"I am no stallion."

"No. You're not," she said. It was neither a compliment nor an insult, but a simple statement of fact. "Though I do wonder if it will affect you in the same way..."

"What will?" he asked.

Celestia didn't answer him, internally lost in her own decision-making. "Better to err on the side of caution I suppose." She levitated a pair of padded hoof cuffs from her bureau. They were clearly not the sort of cuffs for law enforcement. She bound his wrists behind his back.

"Kinky," Anon said.

Celestia scoffed. "Don't take this as enthusiasm for bondage. It's for safety," she said.

"What, do you think I'm just going to grope you?" he asked.

Celestia laughed at whatever threat to her safety the magicless human could ever hope to offer her. "I wasn't talking about my safety." Celestia placed the large sitting pillow on the floor in front of him and stood on the opposite side. She stood there and looked at him, and at the arrangement, considering all the possibilities. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. "Alright, I guess this is good enough for your first time. Just in case."

"In case what...?" he asked.

Celestia turned around and flagged her tail at him. Her horn glowed for a moment, and with a small force of will, she dispelled the thin veil of the glamor she wore.

~~~

Time stopped. A camera flash. A bolt of lightning. A nuclear detonation. Just... whiteness. Before Anon's brain could even perceive what his eyes were reporting, tears streamed down his cheeks. His entire nervous system failed. The muscle tension in the back of his legs gave out and he fell to his knees. Not in reverence or penitence, but by the compulsion of gravity.

Just as the first stallions of old did when they gave tribute at this, the first, and oldest altar of worship. The ponies who would willfully kneel and bow in the centuries since did so only in imitation of the greatest stallions of all time brought low by a power they could not ever hope to understand.

What is happening to me? What is this? Where am I? Am I dead? Am I still alive?

Anon beheld Celestia's true form. Bearing the full brunt of her awesome beauty. Awesome, in the classical sense of the word, meaning terrifying. Beauty she veiled for the sake of the mortal minds it could have unmade. For a fleeting instant, Anon witnessed the true breadth and depth of her power; the barest, tiniest glimpse of her purpose. To simply call it beautiful would have been a profane insult. To even attempt to describe it with such crude things as words.

Rockhoof was right. Mere mortal minds hadn't a vocabulary to describe it. And if they did, Anon would not be the one to assemble them.

They should have sent... a poet!

Anon ascended above and beyond the mortal plane. A dimension without space or time. Everything and everywhere from all time was all here, and now. The birth and death of stars. The beginning and end of the universe. The rise of all life, death, and decay begetting new life. His mind and spirit bound up in the quantum field, generated by the crude matter inside his skull. Luminous beings are we! Leasing this temporary ride through existence that we laughingly call our lives! Our bodies, no more than vehicles. Rising from the ash and dust of dead stars. And to dust we shall return, to be swallowed by the sun once more.

And who was he? What right did he have to such privileged knowledge? What right did his eyes have too look upon such? His arms pulled at his restraints, but his hands remained firmly bound behind his back. He fell forward, face-first into the floor.

"We are not worthy! We are dirt beneath the hooves of equine divinity! We are but maggots; writhing in the filth of our own corruption!"

Anon laid there for an eternity, reeling in the agony and ecstasy of self-actualized enlightenment.

~~~

Anon blinked and looked up at Celestia. She was standing over him, looking at him in concern.

"Welcome back."

Anon tried to speak but winced. "Why does my throat hurt?" he asked.

"You were screaming," she said. "Quite a lot. But don't worry, I soundproofed the room when I came in." Anon tried to right himself. "Easy. Don't sit up too fast. You're probably dehydrated." Anon realized he was laying in a large puddle.

"What is this? Sweat? Did I piss myself?"

"Tears," she said.

Anon's body was unchanged, but it felt like his mind had lived a thousand lifetimes. "What the hell was all that?"

"I honestly don't know," she said. "One particular stallion with a rather flowery vernacular described it as Yonic Apotheosis."

"Yonic?"

"Eh... it's like phallic, but the female version," she said. "But the first time anypony sees...that," she nodded toward her hind end, "This happens to them. As you can imagine, it makes dating quite a challenge."

"I thought I died and- became a god and..." the details of the experience began to slip away.

"Don't worry, you didn't die," Celestia assured him as she unfastened his cuffs. "It's never been fatal. But I have seen ponies injure themselves pretty badly. That's why I had to restrain you. You have lovely eyes. I didn't want you to try to gouge them out." Celestia gave him a glass of water. She sat on the pillow opposite his and shifted anxiously. "Are you feeling better?"

Anon put a hand up. "Hold up, okay? I just finished becoming one with the universe for an epoch. I'm gonna need a minute."

Celestia pointedly watched the second hand of the clock make a complete trip around the numbers. "So, it's been a minute..."

Anon finished his glass of water. "Sheesh, and I thought I was thirsty."

"It's been years since I've had a worthy suitor. And far longer since one has succeeded in satisfying me. So you'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit... impatient."

"Damn... that's a hell of a dry spell," he said.

Celestia nodded. "Are we ready to try again?"

Anon picked up the cuffs. "Do you need to...?"

Celestia shook her head. "After the first time, it shouldn't be quite so... severe."

Anon put the empty glass over on the bureau a good ways away from himself and made sure there was nothing else nearby. He knelt down comfortable on the pillow on the floor, just in case his legs gave out again. He placed his hands in front of him and took a few deep breaths, unsure of what else he could do to prepare. He looked at her and nodded.

Celestia stood up and turned around, flagging her tail to present herself to him again.

Anon's vision blurred and his chest felt tight, but his consciousness remained present. He remembered to breathe. But he could not bear to think of studding her. To even look upon it, let alone touch it. It would be like cock-slapping the Mona Lisa, cutting down a rainforest, burning a library, eating the last white rhino. It would be a crime against nature.

"Anon? Stay with me!" Celestia said.

"You... want me to... stud you?" he asked, incredulously. "It would be a sin! A SIN!"

Celestia turned around to face him once more, breaking his trance. Anon blinked and looked at her, panting, but still lucid. She looked at him with serious annoyance. "Anon, I need you to understand that I didn't ask for this divine beauty. There is no joy for me in watching mighty stallions reduced to a sobbing mess on my floor. I am not some priceless relic to be worshiped or a fragile porcelain doll to be protected. I am a mare of flesh and blood. And any other alicorn will tell you, our estrus is so much more intense than a normal mare's. So I won't sugarcoat my situation, Anon. I won't force you, but I want you- I need you, to find that wellspring of fortitude within yourself and fuck me! Please!" she begged.

Anon looked into her pleading eyes and saw not a goddess, or a princess or an alicorn; but a mare, a damsel in distress, in desperate need of relief. He nodded. "Okay."

"My bedchambers?" Celestia offered, directing him to the door opposite the bathroom. She let him lead the way, lest he follow her and accidently paralyze himself in catching a glimpse. Her bed was easily the size of his entire condo bedroom. It suited the rest of her massive bedroom. "Lay down," she instructed. He did, and she laid down on the bed beside him, facing each other. He looked down along her body until her hoof caught his chin. "No, no. Don't look at it. Just look at me." She looked into his eyes and he looked back.

Her hoof moved down along his arm, taking his hand and guiding it to her body, moving it down along her abdomen. He tensed as she brought it to the warmth between her legs. His lingering doubts still nagged at the fringes of his mind. "I- I shouldn't-"

"Shhh," she hushed him. "It'll be okay." Her hoof pressed his palm against her marehood. Her literal heat radiated off of her against his hand. She let out a deep moan. "Long have I waited..." Her insistent hoof pressed his fingers firmer against her, into her parted lips, wetting them with her arousal. "And at last you have come to me, in the wake of my retirement, at the turning of the age, to make me once more feel like a mare."

The air around them had a charged feeling to it, like it was ionized. Her scent, present before, became almost oppressive in the close space between them, both strong and light at the same time, of sweet vanilla and citrus, and something else that he could not identify, evoking a feeling of familiar nostalgia. Birthday parties and Christmas mornings. Pure, unadulterated joy.

Her hoof pressed the heel of his palm against the top of her marehood. He could feel the vague shape of her clitoris nestled within its hood. She slid his hand down along her pussy to the entrance of her vagina, pressing the tips of his fingers into it. She could not be any more clear of her desire. "Please."

Anon moved his hand of his own volition, making practiced motions over the contours of her anatomy. Hallowed grounds though it may be, the general architecture of it was readily familiar to his experienced hands. Her hoof fell away from his hand as she laid there and reveled in the feeling of such intimate contact after so long. His movements, at first were so slight, and nervous. But with each moment he gained more courage with familiarity in the touch. He moved his hand smoothly against her marehood, firmly, but gently still.

Celestia's lashes flittered as she tried to keep his eye contact. "You have no idea how badly my estrus needs tending," she said. "I greatly desire to experience... Anon's happy ending." Anon tried, and failed to quiet his gulp upon hearing Zecora's impromptu jingle from Celestia's lips. "That's right. Word of your 'deep tissue massage' has reached my ears even here in Canterlot. Along with the long list of satisfied clients. Imagine my delight when I heard that you were an S-Class stud."

She wrapped her wing around behind his head and pulled him in close. He thought she was going to kiss him but she leaned to the side and whispered into his ear, "Satisfy me, Anon, and your rewards shall be- immeasurable." She shifted her hips against his hand.

A beautiful flower plucked from a meadow.
A mirror-smooth pond rippled by a skipped stone.
A field of fresh snow, marred by footprints.

Anon pushed his fingers inside her pussy. He had made no prejudgments of a equine her size, but he had some expectations. To his surprise, she was no less snug around his digits than those mares a fraction of her dimensions. Be it disuse, magic or otherwise, he didn't question it. Similarly to her smaller kind, she was taut, but pliable. Her pussy stretched around his fingers as he added more. He rubbed her clit with his thumb one last time before adding it to the rest of his fingers and he eased his hand inside.

Where he was laying beside her made him have to bend his wrist at an uncomfortable angle. He needed to shift down along her body to proceed further. He propped himself up with his free hand and moved a bit. Without thinking he looked at her marehood, stretched around his wrist. The sight tugged at the fringes of his tattered psyche for a moment before Celestia's hoof turned his face back to look at hers. He, more carefully, moved while looking into her eyes.

Given enough slack for his arm to move, he slid the rest of his forearm into her very well-lubricated vagina. Celestia slowly rolled onto her back. With his arm nearly up to his elbow inside her, his head rested against her abdomen. He felt a small prod against his cheek. He looked at the small nub amid her pristine, white fur. There was a second one symmetrical to her midline. Her nipples. But on a mare that wasn't actively nursing a foal, they were nearly invisible. Driven by instinct, and his inborn love of tits, teats, and mammaries of all kinds, he brought his lips to her nipple and kissed it, and then the other, gently suckling at it.

Celestia audibly gasped and cradled his head with her hoof, holding him to her diminutive teat. "For three hundred lives of ponies have I trotted this world. So many of them have looked to me like a mother. And yet never once have I had a foal of my own. Did you have young, before you came here?" she asked.

Anon glanced up at her and just barely shook his head no, while he kept suckling. There was a twinge of melancholy in both their eyes. She didn't need to say it. But they both knew that trapped in this world as he was, he would never be able have children of his own. It was a pain she understood all too well. But they had each shed enough tears for their lifetime. For now, their troubles would be far away as they took comfort in the company of each other. Celestia closed her eyes and melted into the duet of pleasures he was giving her.

Anon bottomed out to his elbow, but the tips of his fingers hadn't reached her deepest barrier yet. He was quite certain that his arm was in the finite cave of her exquisite marehood, and not the endless tunnel of her ponut. After a few more experimental thrusts with his arm, he maneuvered his hand around inside her as per Rainbow Dash's advice. Celestia's entire torso undulated with his movement.

"I've never felt anything like that before with a penis," she moaned.

Anon released her teat from his lips. "Oh, we've only just gotten started." He began thrusting his arm while rolling his wrist at the same time. He shifted his other hand over to play with her clit while he fist-fucked her.

"Oh that is good! That is really good!" she moaned.

Each time he rolled his fist against the spongy interior of her g-spot, he could feel her getting wetter. Each time his arm plunged inside her, he could hear her getting wetter. But he dared not look. He kept his eyes fixed on her face, gauging his performance by reading her expression.

Celestia's eyes were closed and her expression vacillated between ecstasy and a hint of mild frustration. He had seen it before with Rainbow Dash. He was doing well enough, that much was clear with the sopping mess he was making of her. But there was something she was missing. He briefly tried to guess what was going on in her mind, but he opted to heed his own advice to Dash; communication.

"Getting there?" he asked, trying not to sound too clinical of it. Celestia nodded. Her eyes clenched for a desperate moment as her orgasm neared closer but remained elusive. "What do you need?" he asked.

She replied simply, "More." Anon moved his arm faster and rolled his wrist inside her harder. His free hand redoubled his effort playing with her clit. "No. More. Deeper!" Celestia bucked her hips against his arm, hilting against the crook of his elbow.

"I'm given' her all I got, captain!" Anon said in a faux Scottish accent. The reference was lost on her as she opened her eyes and looked at his arm.

"Lay down," she said. Anon started to pull his arm out. "No. Stay," she instructed. He kept his arm inside her and she rolled over with him until he was laying on his side and she was squatting above him. He couldn't look her in the eyes without her mind-breaking pussy in his field of view, so he just stared up at the headboard. Celestia adjusted herself until his arm was straight up into her. Her copious juices ran down his upper arm and dribbled across his chest. and she lowered herself down onto him.

Anon didn't see it, but he could feel the girth of his elbow reach the entrance of her pussy. Celestia let out a grunt very unbecoming of a princess as his elbow slide inside her, deeper than he had ever been in any pony. But she didn't stop there. She kept lowering herself until her vulva was nearly up to his shoulder. That was when he finally felt the tips of his fingers hit her cervix. Rather than stopping her, it only emboldened her to squat lower on him, making his fingers roll back into a fist. She whimpered and he tried to pull away from hitting her there. She only whined louder. "No! More!" Like Nurse Redheart, Celestia must have been one of those rare ponies that liked it.

Celestia kneeled down above him onto his arm locked firmly straight inside her. Her hind legs on either side of him gave him nowhere to go. Her forehooves hung at her sides as she sat upright on him. Anon felt around in the back of her vagina with his fingers. It wasn't hard for him to find the entrance to her womb. He cautiously probed a finger through, finding it to be comparable to a human vagina given her size difference. "Yesss!" she hissed. "More! More inside!"

Anon added another finger, and then a third and forth at her insistence. "Yes yes yes yesyesYES!" She tried to lower herself on him harder, nearly breaking his thumb. He clasped it against his palm out of sheer self-preservation. The girth of his hand popped through her cervix, filling her womb with his fist.

Stars above ~

The ring of muscles in her cervix clamped down on his wrist like a bear trap. But Anon didn't even have time to worry about the circulation to his hand. The rest of her vagina gripped the entirety of his arm, making it tingle like pins and needles. Her thighs on either side of him squeezed together nearly crushing the air out of his lungs, and twisting his head to the side, bringing him face-to-pussy. His mouth was pushed against where her pussy had swallowed him to his shoulder under her weight. Her clit winked against his lips. He kissed, licked and sucked.

Celestia sucked in a breath so fast it was like an inward scream.

Which was followed by her actual scream.

Anon didn't hear it, as his ears were well-boxed on both sides by her amble thighs gripping his head. It wasn't really a scream, a yell, or even a roar. He felt it well below the range of his hearing. It was a deep vibration in the air, in her, in the bed, in the structure of the castle. In the very bedrock of the land itself.

Celestia cumming was an earthquake.

And a flood.

Celestia came in a massive gush out from around his arm inside her. Not once, but repeatedly. Pinned as he was below her, with her thighs on either side of him, it only served to funnel a deluge of marecum unlike any other into his mouth. Anon was forced to swallow it all. Not that he wouldn't have, if given the choice, the flavor of her nectar was heavenly. But he was forced to drink it quickly if just to keep from drowning in it.

The shaking roar of Celestia's climax subsided. Anon's lungs burned with what little air was left after her legs squeezed him. Every part of his body screamed for oxygen. His vison started to go dark. He coughed and sputtered against her pussy. Celestia came back to her senses and her eyes refocused on the poor creature being crushed under her.

"Oh my goodness!" she cried and rolled off of him. His wrist was still firmly trapped by her tight cervix, but he was able to at least breath laying beside her as he panted and wheezed to catch his breath. He tugged at his arm to try to dislodge it. Celestia moaned and her legs trembled in an orgasm after-shock. "Don't yet! I'm still really sensitive!" she said.

Anon just laid there betwixt her legs with his cheek mashed up against her quivering vulva. He managed to catch his breath, but she was still breathing rather hard. He felt the iron grip on his wrist relax a bit and he tried to pull his arm out again. It locked down on him again her pussy squeezed around his arm again, spurting out some of her trapped climax. She let out a pitched moan. "Stop! You'll set me off again! Don't pull. Let me push."

"Push?" Anon asked. "What, you're going to give birth to my arm?" he asked.

Celestia looked down at him stuck inside her, between her legs. "Yes," she said plainly. "I quite like that idea. I've never had the privilege to do so before." She put her hoof to her belly where his fist was. She could feel the mass inside her abdomen. "Move your fingers for me."

Anon moved his fingers against the interior of her uterus. Celestia could feel the small movement against her hoof through her belly, but also she could feel butterflies in her stomach. It was just as pregnant mares had described to her. It had her on the verge of being misty.

"So, hey, whenever you're ready," Anon said. "I'm starting to get a cramp in my neck down here."

"Okay," Celestia said. Anon made a fist again and she contracted her abdominal muscles. Her uterus closed in around his hand and squeezed it as her cervix flexed and dilated. Her panting from orgasm turned into Lamaze. But with each push he felt more pressure on the top of his fist and less around his wrist. With a few more hearty pushes, he was squeezed free and was able to pull his arm the rest of the way out.

Despite having been wrapped around the girth of his upper arm, the flexible muscles of her pussy relaxed and closed, letting her vulva come together in a fine, dainty slit, appearing as though untouched. Anon felt his throat closing up when he though about what he had done to such a beautiful flower- Celestia sat upright on the bed, occluding his view of her and saving him from losing himself again.

Anon looked down at himself, between one arm and the other. "Holy shit." Given how long it had been inside her, he expected it to be pickled or pruny, but it wasn't. "I'm fucking jacked!" Indeed the arm that had been inside her was a good deal more muscular than it had been that morning. It wasn't freakishly large, Mr. Universe show-muscles. But the difference between his two arms was a stark contrast.

Celestia smiled. "As I said, Anon; satisfy me, and your reward will be immeasurable. And I must say, your reputation, and your S Class rating is well-earned."

Anon's excitement faded, "Great, but now it looks like I jack off too much!"

Celestia snickered, "Speaking of, it looks like you're still ready to go, yourself." They both looked at his very erect penis.

"Yeah, I suppose all that would technically only be considered foreplay. But I doubt my little... wait- WAIT!" Anon pointed at his buff arm and then at his dick. "Can your pussy make that bigger too!?"

Celestia smiled. "Do you want to find out?"

"Do I!" Anon scrambled on the bed to be upright on his knees. "Bend over!"

Celestia let out a mirthful laugh. "I applaud your enthusiasm." Her magic placed him laying down back on the mattress. "But I prefer being on top." She shifted on the bed and straddled him again, this time with her hips over his. Her magic held his penis and he looked down to see what she was doing, but her hoof held his chin to save him. "You've done a fine job of sating this mare's heat. Let me express my... gratitude."

She lowered her hips down onto his, sliding his dick inside her pussy as she went. Her movements were small, at first. She made little, deliberate movements so as to not let him slip out. She mostly kept her hips pressed against his, keeping him hilted inside her. She made little gyrating motions. Her flexing and squeezing felt good for him. And grinding her clit against his pelvic bone wasn't too bad either. If she felt dissatisfied with his size, she didn't show it on her face.

She leaned down over him, pressing her torso against his while still keeping most of her weight off of him. Her wings unfurled and enclosed around them in a feathery canopy as she brought her face closer to his. "Would you object to a kiss?" she asked as she gently rode him.

"After everything, that's what you worry about asking permission for?"

"Some studs prefer not to. It's too intimate," she said. "They differentiate studding from a relationship."

Anon realized that the only other pony he had kissed was Fluttershy. He remembered her reaction. "... And you?" he asked.

"Mmm... I can appreciate it for what it is. I trust that you won't expect me to fall in love with you after this, same as I don't expect it of you."

"No, I suppose not," he agreed.

"Is that disappointment, I detect?" she asked.

"No," Anon denied. "Well... I don't know. Maybe a little."

Celestia smile and leaned down to whisper into his ear, "It takes more than just a rut. Even a great one."

"Thank you... But you don't think there would ever be a chance?" he asked.

Celestia shrugged. "I'm not saying that. Anything is possible. But I know myself. And if I start to develop an attachment to you, I might not be very willing to share. The effect of growing up with a sister, I think," she mused. "And furthermore, it wouldn't be fair to the rest of the mares of Equestria. But you still haven't answered my question. Would you object to a kiss? It doesn't have to mean anything, if you don't want it to."

Anon considered it. Though it was difficult for him to even think while feeling her hot, velvety pussy riding his dick. A small, rational part of his brain knew better, that he wasn't in his right mind at the moment. But a much larger part didn't care.

"Can I- can we pretend? Just a little?" he asked.

Celestia smiled. "Okay, Anon. But just for tonight, okay?"

Anon nodded.

Beneath the canopy of her wings, Celestia closed her eyes and leaned down to meet his lips with hers. When he had kissed Fluttershy, she was surprised by it and nervous. This time it was Anon's turn. But his anxiety passed quickly as he melted into reciprocating her kiss. With his eyes closed, his lips and tongue couldn't tell if she was equine. His kiss, nervous at first, became more passionate, and she matched his enthusiasm with her own.

Anon reached up around her body with his arms, holding her closer. No longer laying still, he took an active role. His hips thrusted upwards to meet hers in rhythm. One of his hands ran up along her back, rubbing the crook between the base of her wings. His other hand gripped her flank, kneading her cutie mark beneath his fingers.

Celestia moaned into his mouth as she kissed him. Anon could feel her hot panting against his cheek from her nostrils. He held onto her firmly for leverage as he fucked her harder. Celestia's breathing became faster and more shallow. Her moans grew shorter, but louder. Her pussy was magical in every sense of the word, gripping at his dick and trying to milk him. Everything around him starting to vibrate. He could tell she was getting close again. And so was he.

He put both hands on her hips and tried to finish out strong in time to meet hers, but not before. He felt himself passing the point of no return. He thrusted up into her on last time, only for her to slam back down against him harder, putting her full weight into her haunches on him. It wasn't enough to hurt him, but he was surely pinned down. She broke her kiss to let out a throaty moan, burying her face into her pillow in embarrassment as she came on him, soaking him and the bedding. She could feel him throbbing and pulsing inside her.

Anon came inside her harder than he had ever experienced before in his life. His whole world shrank to a pinprick of light in a dark tunnel as the blood rushed from his brain. But he felt neither pain nor fear of death. Only the euphoria of nirvana. As close to Valhalla as you can get while your heart is still beating. He had heard somewhere that an average ejaculation for a human was around a teaspoon, but it felt like a lot more. Even so, her vagina was easily accommodating.

By the time Anon came back to his senses, the bed and everything around them had stopped vibrating. It wasn't the world-shaking orgasm he had given her earlier, but still, "That was nice," Celestia whispered. She giggled, giddy as a school-filly. "That was really nice!"

"That was incredible!" Anon added. He craned his neck up to kiss her again. She kissed him back, not with the desperate passion of before, but instead with a sweet intimacy. They stayed together like that for a long while until she could feel him begin to wilt within her. As magical as her marehood was, some forces of nature simply could not be prevented.

Celestia slowly rolled off to his side, and he turned with her. They laid together in the bed, facing each other. He pet her ear with his hand and she gently ran her wing down along his back, enclosing him in her warmth until they both fell asleep.

Anon woke up in the massive bed, naked and alone. The light of the dawn streaked in through the balcony doors. He squinted into the harsh light of the morning sun, just barely making out the silhouette of Celestia. The sunrise was no longer her task or duty. But she still relished watching it every day.

She turned and looked at him, smiling when she saw that he was awake. She walked to the bedside and gave him a rather chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning, sunshine," he greeted, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, noting that his arm was still just as muscular as it was last night.

"It certainly is, with you around," she said with a smile. "A pity that I can't keep you all to myself."

"Can't, or won't?" he asked, failing to mask his slight tone of disappointment.

Celestia's smile faltered. "Shouldn't; I suppose," she said, sounding disappointed herself.

"Why not?" he asked.

Celestia motioned for him to follow her. He climbed out of the bed. He felt his dick swing down and hit his thigh with a heavy thud. He looked down at himself. "Holy shit!" He in terms of length and girth, was still a far cry from a grown stallion, but as a human, he could probably give Guinness Records a call.

Celestia smiled at him. "I thought I felt it get bigger in there. You're welcome."

Anon wrapped himself in her robe and together they opened the balcony doors. Anon could hear the din of the busy city. But more-so, the rabble of a mob. They looked over the edge of the balcony at the city below. The streets around the castle perimeter were filled with ponies. Celestia levitated a small spyglass over to Anon. He looked through it at the mob of ponies. Mares, all of them. Many of them chanting and holding signs:

Let Him Work
Let Him Stud
LET HIM FREE

Celestia mused aloud to Anon, "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Princess Platinum, the unicorn?"

"No," he answered.

"I thought not. It's not a story the history books would tell you. Most historians dismiss it as mere legend. A myth. Ancient gossip. Daughter of King Bullion, Princess Platinum was the leader of the unicorn tribe, before the unification of Equestria in the events of Hearth's Warming. This, you know?" she asked.

Anon nodded.

Celestia continued, "She was regarded by all as the most beautiful pony in Unicornia." Celestia took a deep breath. "And she was beautiful," she said with a wistful sigh.

"Her history ends with the unification of Equestria. Few know her fate thereafter." She looked at Anon, standing beside her. "Given your choice of... vocation, I think you ought to know that it was she who created the studding permit classifications... and Prima Nocta. The latter being what led to her downfall."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Princess Platinum was by most measures, a good ruler. There was much that she did that benefited her nation. Virtuous though she was, she had a fatal vice. Not to put too fine of a point on it, Princess Platinum, the beautiful, was something of a whorse. Her studding classification and Prima Nocta decree were entirely to satisfy her own greed for pleasures of the flesh. After the Long Winter preceding Hearth's Warming, there came a powerful spring. Mares everywhere suffered an estrus the likes of which history has never seen since, thank goodness."

"As I'm sure you've noticed by now, Anon, there is quite the imbalance of stallions to mares," she said. "But in her greed, Platinum took the very best studs for herself and kept them as her personal harem for the season. Several dozen of the very best in the land. Some say her harem numbered in the hundreds. Not just unicorns, but Pegasi and Earth pony stallions alike, despite her... outspoken tribalism."

"The stallions of her harem never complained. They got to stud the most beautiful mare in the known world. They were allowed, and even encouraged to stud her as often as they please, at all hours of the day and night. They would queue up, one right after another. It was said that during her season, the princess would even take her meals while she was in rut, stopped only to sleep a few hours a night."

"Okay... yeah. That's a whorse," Anon agreed.

Celestia continued, "Naturally, this exacerbated shortage of studs didn't sit well with the mares of her kingdom in heat. The revolution was inevitable."

"They overthrew her?" he asked. Celestia nodded. "All that, over sex?"

"I'm going to tell you a secret, Anon..." Celestia leaned in close to him and whispered, "Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." The two of them looked down at the mob of mares outside the castle. "Do you understand now, why I can not keep you?"

Anon nodded.

"I can tell you have a lot of love to give, Anon. Take care to whom you choose to give it." She turned and walked back inside her bedchambers. "Regrettably, I shan't keep you any longer. You've quite a lot of work ahead of you."

"Can I see you again," Anon asked.

"I'm certain that you will," Celestia smiled. "Next spring... if not sooner."

"No, I mean, can I see you?" he asked with emphasis. Celestia understood his meaning that time.

"Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded. Celestia directed him to one of the large sitting pillows on the floor. He kneeled down and got comfortable. He took a deep breath, preparing himself. Celestia turned and flagged her tail to present herself to him again.

Even though he thought he knew what to expect, there was nothing that could ever really prepare him for it. Her sublime beauty made tears run down his cheeks. After a few seconds, she mercifully veiled herself with her magic before he could wail. Anon felt the tightness in his chest dissipate and his senses returned. It wasn't as intense as the first time, but he wondered if he would ever be able to get used to it.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, I- I'm okay," he breathed, slowly standing up. The experience had shaken him a bit, but after last night, he felt filled with an almost supernatural vitality. "I feel... great actually!"

Celestia wiggled her rump. "Well, it has been called the Fountain of Youth, by some. And you drank quite a lot. But you ought not wait too long to return to station in Ponyville, though. Your clients await."

"Speaking of... I need to see a horse about a drink," Anon said.

Celestia gave him a strange look. "It's a little early."

Anon shrugged. "It's five o'clock somewhere." Anon picked up his bag. It was heavy. He lifted out a sizable pouch of bits. He looked at Celestia.

"An S-Class stud commands S-Class rates, no? Now, whom might you be meeting about a drink?" she asked.

Anon told her.

"Ah," she said. "I shall have him meet you in the castle lounge, downstairs. I doubt any other establishment in the city will be serving at this hour, anyway." She looked him up and down one last time. "Until next time?"

Anon smiled. "Until next time."

Anon sat at the bar in the castle lounge, holding his mug of cider with his buff arm. His guest sat with a cider beside him in silence.

"So..."

"So..."

There wasn't much to say, but each knew what the other was thinking.

"Yew survived, aye see," Rockhoof said.

"Yeah."

"I heard ya did a great job," he added. "Hell's bells, I think the whole city heard!"

Anon just stared into his drink and licked his lips. "Yeah."

"But...?"

"But..." Anon tried to say. The details of the experience faded more and more from Anon's memory with each passing moment, like a half-remembered dream. But the nagging feeling of it lingered in his gut. Anon's reflection in the surface of his drink rippled as a tear fell in.

"But... it still kinda feels like ya destroyed somethin' beautiful? Like ya hadn't any right ta?" Rockhoof asked.

Anon met finally his eyes. "... Yes."

"It'll pass," Rockhoof said with certainty. "Ain't nothin' I kin tell ya that'll make it go any faster. It just takes time. But you'll be a'right. You never really forget it..." Rockhoof just stared into the distance for a moment. "... Not really. But it'll stop hurting before long. Just try n' remember how happy yew made 'er. Focus on that an' it'll help. And so'll this."

Rockhoof lifted his mug to Anon's. They tapped them together and drank them down.

"Thanks," Anon said.

Rockhoof gave him a hearty slap on the back with his hoof. "Cheer up, lad! You're a proper stallion now as far as I'm concerned! An' I'll flay anypony who tries t' claim contrarywise! Now go on, S-Class! You've got yer pick of the mares to service!"

"What about you?" Anon asked.

Rockhoof gave him a sideways look. "Are ya propositioning me!?"

"What!? No! I-"

Rockhoof laughed. "I'm just yankin' yer chain again, lad! I know what'cha meant! I might not be no young buck no more, but I've still got an A rating fer these gals!" Rockhoof glanced at the clock above the bar. "Speaking of... pitter patter, let's get at'er!"

Anon walked with the stallion out of the castle to his waiting chariot. There was only a small clearing in the street amid the sea of mares, protected by a barricade of Royal Guard ponies.

Rockhoof addressed the crowd, "Ladies, ladies! If yer estrus needs tending, get Anon's happy ending! At the Ponyville Spa!" He turned and gave Anon a wink. Anon smacked his forehead with his palm. Great, now all of Canterlot would be flocking to the spa, too.

The pegasi chauffeurs hitched themselves to his chariot. Anon tapped one of them on the back, "Actually, I need to make a stop before we go back to Ponyville." Anon reached into his bag and grabbed the business card that Rarity had given to him. "Can you take me to The Crop first?" They nodded and prepared to take off. Anon glanced to the side, at the statue he had seen on the way in. The one with the centaur and a little pegasus filly...

"Didn't there used to be three figures there?"

Author's Note

3079414

10. Chrysalis

Though neither of the pegasi chauffeurs recognized the store name, they flew Anon's chartered chariot to the address he gave them. They touched down on a Canterlot back street. The store itself was rather plain-looking, with no more than a sign adorning the exterior with the image of a bushel of wheat. Anon half-expected it to be full of farming supplies. He walked inside. At first glance the interior resembled Rarity's boutique. A unicorn greeted him.

"Oh, hello, you must be new! I'm Velvet. Welcome to The Crop. How may I help you?" she asked. Her fur was a dull lilac, and her mane was pink, with a gentle curl in her bangs.

Anon showed her the business card that Rarity had given him. "Hey, um, Rarity suggested that I come here for some... things."

"Miss Rarity sent you!?" Velvet squealed. "Oh I am such a big, big fan of hers!"

"Heh. Aren't we all," Anon said, looking at the racks of apparel, varying from lingerie to even more risqué outfits.

"So what sort of... things, were you looking for?" she asked.

Considering the nature of the wares surrounding them, Anon had no problem telling her, "I've recently gotten into studding. So I was looking for anything that I could use to help me do that."

"Would this be for you, or your clients?" she asked with professionalism.

"I'm not sure. Maybe both? Though I don't know if this stuff is what I need. I was thinking a bit more hands, er, hooves-on marital aides."

"Ah," Velvet said. "Why don't I have my colleague help you. Strap?" she called toward the back of the store. A beige earth pony wearing what looked to be an executioner's hood came forward. "Strap, would you be so good as to show... oh I'm sorry, I didn't get your name."

"Anon."

Velvet gasped. "It's you! Oh my goodness, I- I didn't even know! Strap, did you-"

"Yes, I heard," Strap said.

"Really?" Anon asked.

"News of an S-Class stud travels fast," Velvet said. "Though I must say, you're not quite what I imagined."

"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot," Anon said.

"I'm sorry, I meant no offence," Velvet apologized.

"None taken," Anon assured her.

"What's an S-Class like you even doing in here?" Strap asked. "Usually we're selling aides to D-boys to help them make up for their- *ahem*... shortcomings."

"Well as you said, news travels fast," Anon said. "I've got half of Equestria lining up for their turn with me. And it's going to get exhausting. So I figured I ought to have a few other tools under my belt other than just the one I was born with."

Strap nodded. "Understandable. This way." Anon followed the masked stallion through the curtained doorway into the back room. The face of the store abutting the street wasn't very wide. But it was deceptive of just how big the store actually was inside. Anon beheld 'the back room'. Tables, shelves, and countertops lined, filled, and covered with every sex toy he could possibly have imagined. And a great deal more that he could never have imagined. Dildos of all shapes and sizes. Beads, plugs, all sorts of mechanisms that Anon could only begin to guess as to their purpose or function. Saddles, harnesses, whips and-

Anon picked up a small whip. "Oh, The Crop! I get it now," he said, holding the riding crop. Anon looked at some of the price tags. "So anyways my budget is..." He looked into his bits pouch, seeing that Celestia had given him denominations that he had never seen before. "Almost limitless, apparently."

Anon started to just point at the things he wanted to buy. Too numerous to carry. Strap just stood by and jotted down the item serial numbers. Anon recognized the sybian, with a universal mount and several other literal sex machines.

"What the fuck is this?" Anon asked.

"What, you mean the Applejack Hammer?" Strap asked. He attached a dildo to the 'operational end', plugged it in, and pressed the button. It was basically a hoof-held jackhammer, but with a dildo. He pointed at the dials on the side. "Variable ranges of depth and speeds."

"Yeah, I'll take that too," Anon said "Does that work with the cum-lube dildos?"

"You'll need the adapter."

"Add it to the list."

"Will you be buying the cum-lube for that as well?" Strap asked.

Anon looked him dead in the eyes. "I'll take your entire stock."

Walking back out to the front desk, Strap added up the order and told him the total. Anon dumped his bit pouch on the counter and paid for it all. Velvet looked over the invoice and then looked outside.

"I hope you're not planning on taking all this in that little thing," Velvet said, looking at the single passenger chariot, and then back at the invoice. "You'll be way over the weight limit."

"Do you deliver?" he asked.

"For a fee," she said. Anon pushed a few more high value bits across the counter. "To what address?"

"The Ponyville Spa," he said. "How soon can you get everything there?"

Velvet said, "Usually it would be five to seven-" Anon pushed a couple more large coins. "Or we can overnight it."

"That's what I like to hear," Anon said. He grabbed his receipt.

"Thank you for choosing The Crop! Be sure to tell your friends!"

Anon boarded the chariot again and they took off into the air. Below, he could see that the mob at the castle had migrated to the train station. Tickets to Ponyville would be likely selling out right now. The trip down to Ponyville from the mountain was shorter than the flight up. Anon used his time to rest and prepare for a long day ahead.

Vitalized as he was drinking Celestia's 'fountain of youth' the night before, he was still thoroughly tired by the time he got home that evening. That shipment of toys from the sex shop couldn't come fast enough. He shuffled through town back to his condo, summoning what strength he had left in even his strong arm to unlock and open the door.

He flipped on the light switch on the wall. The ceiling light was a bit inadequate for lighting the whole room. He walked across the kitchenet to the living room to turn on the-

"Was that floor lamp always there?" he asked into the empty room. He wouldn't have put it past himself to have just never noticed it before. And he was quite tired. He reached under the lamp shade to pull the light chain.

Anon was thrown back to the floor and the lamp burst into a flash of green flames. And then a creature stood before him, almost as tall as Celestia, but charcoal black, looking like a cross between a pony, a bug, and a block of swiss cheese. Anon shrieked and scurried backwards away from the thing, tripping over an armchair that hadn't been there a moment ago.

The front door to Anon's condo burst open. Princess Twilight Sparkle and the other Elements of Harmony stormed in. "Here she is!" Twilight shouted. Her horn charged to volley a magical attack at the creature, but all that came forth were soap bubbles. The black monster charged its horn to fire back, with the same, harmless result.

"Ah, Anon, I see you've met your new roommate," the armchair said. In a flash of white light, it vanished, and Discord appeared in its place.

"Discord!" Twilight shouted. "I should have known you'd have a talon in this!"

"Well exuuuse me, Princess," Discord chided. "I don't know how many times I must save Equestria before you'll trust me."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!" Anon screamed.

"I'm actually glad you asked," Discord said. "You see, after your little, hehe, outpouring of love in Canterlot, a certain queen had managed to gather enough power to escape her stone prison. Naturally, I sensed it immediately and dispatched myself to apprehend her." Discord turned and stuck his tongue out at Twilight. "You're welcome, by the way!"

Discord looked at Anon as he continued, "But then I thought- I thought to myself... Self, you know who would appreciate this? Anon!"

"I don't appreciate this!" Anon yelled. "I don't appreciate anything about any of this!"

"Oh, but you don't understand, Anon!" Discord said, pointing at the creature. "You see, Chrysalis here is a changeling! Which means she can shapeshift into anything! And I thought to myself- I thought... Self, poor Anon is all alone in this world, with no other humans. But I know a certain 'ling who could turn herself into a human!"

"Discord! Chrysalis is dangerous!" Twilight yelled.

"Correction, she was," Discord said. "But now..."

Chrysalis was still backed into the corner like a frightened animal, visibly emaciated, and fruitlessly trying to cast spells with her horn to no effect. She darted for the window and tried to jump through it, colliding face-first with an invisible barrier.

"As you can see," Discord said smugly, "She's quite harmless. This residence is her new prison. Celestia's stone spell failed to contain her. But this..." Discord tapped on the enchanted walls of the condo, thrumming with magical energy. "This won't."

Chrysalis lashed out at the others in the room, flailing at them with her hooves. Twilight, Discord and Anon. Each time her attack buffeted off of them in a harmless shower of white sparks. She would have had better luck trying to punch through a solid steel plate.

"Now, now," Discord chided. "You two play nice. This is your parole after all. I don't want to be hearing any bad reports from Anon, here."

"Why are you doing this to me!?" Anon and Chrysalis both asked Discord in stereo.

"As I said, so Anon could have a human partner!" Discord repeated. Anon didn't look convinced. Neither did Twilight. "And it's just jolly good chaos!" Discord added with honest mirth. "Who knows? Maybe Anon here will be the one to reform her! But really, Anon, she can change in to anything you want. Anything at all." Discord gave him a lecherous grin. "And feel free to do whatever you want to her. Indulge in your most deviant fantasies. There is nothing too bad that you can do that her crimes don't deserve."

Chrysalis hissed at them.

"No. Just- no." Anon groaned.

"Tell you what, I'll sweeten the deal," Discord said. "If you can make it a week without killing each other, I'll open a portal for you to go back to your home!"

"WAIT! That was always an option!?" Anon shouted.

"Ta-ta!" Discord vanished.

Anon, Chrysalis, Twilight and the rest of the mane six stood there in the living room.

"I'm moving," Anon said.

The refrigerator door opened and Discord poked his head out. "Uh-uh!" he chided. "You have to live here for the week, too."

"That was never part of the deal!" Anon snapped.

"I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it further." He vanished again and the door shut itself.

"Anon, you don't have to stay here," Twilight said.

Anon rubbed his head. It was late. He was tired. He really didn't want to deal with any of this. He just wanted to go to sleep. But the prospect of being able to go home was too appealing to ignore.

"No," he said.

"What!?" Twilight balked.

"I'll stay. I'll- I'll play along," Anon said. "He said she's harmless now so... whatever."

Twilight looked at him, and then at Chrysalis. She didn't trust the former queen of the changelings at all. And she barely trusted Discord much farther than she could throw him.

"Maybe he's right," Fluttershy said softly from behind Twilight. "Maybe Anon can be the one to reform her. He's quite a sweetheart." Hearing that made Anon smile amid all the stress. "And Discord is a pretty good judge of character."

"I dunno about that," Rainbow Dash grumbled.

Twilight looked at her friends and then back at Anon. "It's up to you," she said. "But if anything happens, just call out for us and we'll be here."

"Thanks," Anon said. Twilight's horn spewed a few more bubbles. She huffed in indignation and walked outside to be able to use her magic again to teleport away. The rest of the ponies quietly left and he closed the door. He walked back into the living room. Chrysalis sat in the corner where she had been. "Well, it looks like we're stuck with each other. I suppose proper introduction are in order. I'm Anonymous, but everyone just calls me Anon. And you're... Chrysalis, yes?

"QUEEN Chrysalis!" She snarled. "Of the House Carapace, First of Her Name, the Unturned, Queen of the Drones and the First Gnats, Majesty of the Great Holey Hive, Breaker of Brains, and Mother of Grubs!"

"... Yeah, no. I'm not saying all that shit every time I want you to pass the salt. How about Chryssi?"

"How about I rip your throat out!?" she growled.

"Cool. Chryssi it is."

"I've killed creatures for lesser offences!" She swung at him again and her hooves ricocheted off of him harmlessly.

Anon yawned. "Yeah, that's real neato. But I get the feeling those days are behind you now." He turned and walked into the kitchenette, grabbing a cider from the fridge. He looked around for the bottle opener. "Hey, c'mere for a sec."

She sat where she was and crossed her hooves. "Hmf!"

Anon walked over to her and grabbed her horn, using one of the crooks in it to open the bottle cap. She was powerless to stop him as she yelped but was otherwise unharmed. "That's for trying to kill me," he said and then took a sip. "Twice. But now we're square-zies."

"This is so undignified!" she growled through her grit teeth.

"You want one?" Anon offered her a bottle, waving it at her. "Makes you feel better. I've got a bunch and I've recently come into a bit of money. So I'm feeling extra generous." She turned her nose up at him. Anon shrugged. "Suit yourself." He settled on the couch and sipped his drink. It would probably be his dinner. "Are you sure you don't want something to eat, or drink? You look hungry."

"Changelings are empaths. We feed on love," she said.

"Ah." Anon took another sip of his drink. "Well with that attitude, it's no wonder you look like you're starving." She hissed at him. "See, that right there is what I mean. You get more bugs with honey than vinegar."

"I will not be your whorse!"

"I wasn't asking you to be," he said. "But if we're going to be stuck together like this, we can at least be civil." He looked at the clock on the wall. "Look, I've got a long day of work tomorrow. So I'm gonna finish my drink, and then I'm gonna go to sleep."

Chrysalis stood up and trotted past him into the hallway.

Anon sat on the couch and drank his cider. He clicked his heels together and repeated, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home." A few minutes later he finished his drink and tossed the bottle in the returnable bin. He walked down the hall to his bedroom. He found his bed occupied. He made a mental note to get another bed for the guest room, for his... guest.

"Come on, get out of my bed."

She hissed at him again.

Anon just shook his head in dismay. "Fuck it."

Anon turned around and went back out to the living room to sleep on the couch. He had slept on a couch plenty when he was living at Fluttershy's. Aside from their parting, he still remembered that time there fondly. He drifted away into his pleasant memories as sleep found him.

~

Anon awoke some time during the night. He realized he was sleeping on the couch and slowly opened his eyes to reposition himself. He looked up at a pair of glowing green eyes looking down at him in the darkness.

"JESUS FUCK!" Anon shrieked as adrenaline rushed through his body. He jumped with a start nearly falling off the couch. "The hell are you doing!?"

Against her dark silhouette, Chrysalis's teeth flashed in the moonlight as she spoke, "I was feeling snacky. You've a lot of love to give."

"So I've been told," he groaned. She had scared him so badly his stomach felt like it had done a flip. He hiccupped and burped at the same time. And he almost certainly needed a clean pair of shorts. Anon stood up and got changed before heading into the bedroom. Chrysalis followed after him. "What?"

Chrysalis took a deep breath. "May I..." she grit her teeth, like the words physically hurt to say, "...may I join you?"

"The fuck!? No!" Anon said as he got into his bed. "Waking up to you hovering over me just scared the shit outta me. I don't need that again!"

"Oh. Would you prefer something more agreeable, like..." In a flash of green flame, her form changed into that of a human. Specifically, she looked just like him. Dick and all. Butt naked.

"Oh, shit- this is fucking weird..." Anon groaned. "Couldn't you at least be female?"

With another flash of green flame, her form changed again. This time it was him, minus the penis. But with tits just above her crotch. Obviously she had never seen a human female before. He pointed at her crotch tits. "Okay, first of all, those go up here." He pointed at his own nipples. "The hair on your head should be longer. Wider hips. Softer facial features." Chrysalis made the mentioned changes. "Those should be bigger though," he said, pointing at her breasts.

Chrysalis adjusted their size in another flash of green light.

"Bigger."

Flash

"Bigger."

Flash

"Bigger," Anon repeated, indicating with his hands in front of his chest.

Chrysalis braced herself with her hands on her back with breasts each as large as her head. "How in the world do your females manage to walk erect like this?" she groaned.

Anon snickered. "Hehe. Erect." Even with his help, and the low light, and in spite of the fact that anime tits were his kryptonite, she was, at best, a four out of ten for a human female. A lot of her still looked way too butch from starting with Anon as a template. But at least she wasn't a terrifying bug-pony thing anymore. "Fuck it. It's a start."

Anon rolled over to go back to sleep. He felt the bed shift behind him. He looked back and saw her over his shoulder. "Um, excuse me? What are you doing?"

"I believe the term is 'cuddling'," she said, putting her arm around him, pressing her massive jugs against the back of his head. "Ponies seem quite fond of it."

"Uh, I know this seems weird since I'm a stud and all, but I literally just met you."

Chrysalis shifted her position and pressed her nose into the nape of his neck and sniffed him. "Did you not spend a night in Celestia's bed?" she asked. She ran her hand down along Anon's muscular arm. "Do not try to deny it. I can still sense her magic on you." Her hand ran down along his abdomen. "I could feel it when she was in her throes of pleasure. I imagine all of Canterlot did." Anon grabbed her wrist before she reached the waistband of his shorts and threw her arm off of him. Big tits or not, he still knew what she was. "Does your heart lie there still?" she asked.

The walls of the room around them flashed green as she transformed. Anon looked back over his shoulder to see her wearing Celestia's form. Unlike her guesswork to imitate a human female, her impression of Celestia was uncanny. But unlike Celestia's soft, maternal smile, the one Chrysalis wore was far to wide and mischievous. It didn't help when she licked her lips. Her expression softened into disappointment at his lack of a reaction.

"No," Chrysalis said plainly in Celestia's voice, as though answering her own question. "Not her then. But somepony."

Anon rolled over and pulled the covers tighter to himself, trying to pointedly ignore her. It's just a bad dream. It's just a bad dream.

"Such guarded feelings," she purred. "You keep your love locked in a vault. But I can tell it's a very big vault to hold it all. Somepony hurt you. Who was it Anon? Who hurt you?" Anon tried very hard to not think about Fluttershy. But the funny thing about not trying to think about something... "The yellow one?" she asked with amused surprise. The room flashed green again.

Anon knew better than to look. But curiosity got the better of him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Fluttershy. "How did you-"

She answered in Fluttershy's demure tone, "Discord's hex on me might keep me from manipulating your mind, but he can't stop me from reading it. Especially when you're practically broadcasting your thoughts quite so... intensely." Anon felt the breath from her nose against the back of his neck, as though she were smelling Pinkie Pie's freshly-baked pastries. He could hear her smack her lips. "Unrequited love. Such bitter sweetness!"

"Seriously, what's your problem!?" Anon snapped. "Earlier you said you wanted to rip my throat out, and now this!?"

Chrysalis shrugged. "As the saying goes, hunger sweetens the beans." She climbed over him to move into his field of view. He clenched his eyes shut. But he could still hear Fluttershy's voice in his ear. "Come now, Anon. This should be rather straightforward. You have something that I want. Surely there is something that you want that I could provide in exchange."

Her soft, yellow hooves pulled at the blanket. Anon's grip on it had weakened and it slipped from his fingers. Her hooves moved to his shorts, pulling them down. Anon could have stopped her. But he didn't. Part of him wanted to believe that he didn't want this. But a bigger part, a part he couldn't hide from her, knew that was a lie.

"Oh, Anon! Is this for me?" he heard Fluttershy's voice say, but he still couldn't bear to look at her. He felt her weight shift on the bed as she straddled him. He felt her warmth envelope him. "Oh Anon! You're so big! I love you so much!"

At that, Anon opened his eyes. He looked up at Fluttershy on top of him. Her words that he had longed for lingered in his ear. His last shred of rationality knew they were false lies, laced with venom. But in that moment, in that bed, he didn't care. His hands reached up and wrapped around her waist as he started to thrust up into her. Just tonight, just this once, he could pretend. "I love you, too."

His heartfelt, genuine words were honey in Chrysalis's ears. His rich love practically radiated off of him, and she absorbed it, basking in it like a reptile soaking up the warm sun.

She let him take her in whatever position he pleased. On top, bottom, from behind. They even invented a few positions. It was of no consequence to her how he chose to use her body. His love was a sumptuous banquet for the starved queen, and she gorged herself on it. Long into the night until it was so late that it was early.

Anon woke up the next morning alone in his bed. He felt exhausted but for some reason he had woken up before his alarm. He could feel how bloodshot his eyes were. "Ugh, what a fucking dream..." There was some commotion out in the main area of his condo. Realizing he wasn't alone in his home sent a fresh rush of adrenaline through him. He got to his feet and shuffled out into the kitchenette. He squinted and looked at the pony standing at the stove.

"Fluttershy?" he asked.

Fluttershy looked back at him over her shoulder. "Good morning, my love! I was just about to call you for breakfast."

"Oh yeah?" Anon smiled, sitting at the table, still not fully awake.

She flipped his breakfast out of the skillet onto a plate and set it in front of him. "I hope you like eggs," she said.

Anon looked at his breakfast and winced. "... Why the fuck are they green?" he asked.

"Green eggs come from green chickens, silly!" she said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh... okay." It made sense to him, barely conscious as he was. He took up his fork and started eating while she watched him intently. They didn't taste like eggs, but damn if they didn't taste amazing to him! They tasted just like his favorite food, a flavor which he would have never expected to come from eggs. "Green chickens you say?" he asked as he ate. "But how did you get them to taste like this? M.S.G.?"

Fluttershy just smiled at him. The alarm in Anon's bedroom started to go off. "I'll get that," Fluttershy said. You just keep eating."

As he finished his plate, the sound of his alarm shook him from his daze. Wait, Fluttershy didn't live here. She lived in her cottage. With Discord. Anon looked around the condo that he lived in, alone.

Wait-

Fluttershy walked back into the kitchen. The events of the last night came flooding back, hitting him like a sobering bucket of ice water.

"Wait, you're not Fluttershy! You're that shapeshifting thingy- Christmas!"

"Oh, are we done with playtime?" Chrysalis's voice came from Fluttershy's mouth.

"Fuuuck!" Anon groaned. He rubbed his head. He didn't have a headache or feel sick, but he still felt hungover from the lack of sleep. Anon looked at the kitchen clock. More pressing matters supplanted Anon's feelings of guilt and regret. "I need to go to work. You're not going to trash the place while I'm gone, are you?"

"Of course not!" Chrysalis scoffed. "How would that profit me?"

"Can you blame me for being nervous about leaving you here unsupervised?" he asked.

"Call in sick," she said, wrapping her hooves around him at his chair. She mewled into his ear, "Tell them you came down with a bug."

He shoved her hooves away. She wasn't Fluttershy. As good as last night was, and it was good... He hated himself for how much he enjoyed it. Just thinking about what he had done with her looking like that made him feel dirty. But he didn't have time for a shower. He could take one at the spa. Speaking of, he would soon be running late if he didn't get going.

There came an insistent knock at the front door. "Anon!? It's Twilight! Just checking in on you," she shouted through the door.

"I'm coming," Anon yelled, getting up from the table.

"You certainly were," Chrysalis purred.

"Shut the hell up, and fucking take that off right now!" he demanded. Chrysalis rolled her eyes and shed her Fluttershy disguise as Anon answered the door. Princess Twilight was standing outside.

"Good morning, Anon," Twilight said. "Do you mind stepping outside for a moment?"

"Sure, what's this about?" he asked, stepping over the threshold of his residence harmlessly.

Twilight relaxed a bit. "Nothing. I just wanted to make sure that you could, so I knew I was talking to the real Anon."

Anon scratched the back of his neck. "Right. That. She's right inside, in case you're wondering." He walked back inside.

Twilight followed after him and let out an audible gasp. The scrawny twig from the night before had filled out in all the right places, giving her a healthy plumpness, and she was now clearly taller than Celestia. Her stark, feral demeanor was replaced with a content smile. Ironic, considering that changelings don't eat actual food. All they eat is lov-

Twilight glared at Anon, who was presently sweating. "Anon? Why is bug big, Anon? Bug wasn't this big when she was dropped off... Answer me, Anon."

Anon just gulped. He grabbed his things and bolted for the door. "I- I'm late for work! Gotta run!"

Author's Note

1267466

11. Twilight Sparkle

Princess Twilight Sparkle glared at Anon, who was presently sweating. "Why is bug big, Anon? Bug wasn't this big when she was dropped off. Answer me, Anon."

Anon gulped, grabbed his things, and bolted for the doorway. "I- I'm late for work! Gotta run!"

Twilight had seen this maneuver before, when she had first tried to introduce Fluttershy to Princess Luna on Nightmare Night. As Anon ran for the door, Twilight slammed it shut with her magic, making him run face-first into it. Twilight walked over and picked him up off the ground. "We mustn't rush, Anon. That's how accidents happen." She opened the door and walked outside with him, closing it behind them. "Anyway, I came to check on you because I'm worried about you."

Anon rubbed the bump on his forehead. "Yeah. I can tell how much you care about my wellbeing."

"Oh for goodness sake!" Twilight's horn glowed and a purple light washed over his forehead, healing his bruise. "There. Can we talk now?"

"Look, princess, I need to get to the spa. I wasn't bullshitting you when I told you I was running late," Anon said, pointing at the clocktower in the town square. "My shift legitimately starts in like, five minutes!" Twilight rolled her eyes before they turned into pools of iridescent white and she lofted herself into the air. As she drifted back down, the sun dipped back down below the eastern horizon. "Did you just... turn back time?" he asked.

"Sort of. I set the precession of the sun back one hour."

"You can do that?"

"It's not so much a matter of if I can so much as if I should," she said. "But a princess is never late. Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when she means to. And since you are beholden to me at the moment, I can't have you be late either."

"Beholden?" he asked. She nodded as she led him to Sugarcube Corner. "Wait, why are we here?" he asked.

"While we talk, I figured I could at least treat you to breakfast," she said.

"Actually, I already ate," Anon said. "Chryssi made breakfast for me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Green eggs."

Twilight just stared at him.

"You know, from green chickens?"

"... Is that what she told you?"

"Yeah."

"And you believed her?"

"Yeah? Fucken- I dunno! I'm in a magical world with talking horses and yaks and freaking bug queens. Is it really so hard to think that there might be chickens that are green!?"

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked.

"I mean, I'm a little tired, but hell, I'm always tired these days."

"I'm just worried she might try to use her mind control on you."

"She told me she couldn't do that."

"..."

"I don't feel mind-controlled."

"..."

"Well what the fuck! You're the super-wizard. You tell me if I'm under some kind of spell!"

Twilight focused her magic on Anon, and a dim aura gathered around his head. A moment later it faded away. "No. You're not under any spell."

"There! I told ya!" Anon huffed. He re-orientated himself and started marching toward the spa. Even if the sun was turned back an hour, there would almost certainly be a long line of clients waiting outside the door most displeased with the development.

Twilight continued to trot after him. "Hey, I wasn't finished with you yet," she said.

"Yeah, you and half the town," he said, looking at the line as the spa came into view. "So take a number to make an appointment." Anon walked past the line of anxious mares to the front door of the spa. Princess Twilight walked right in after him, cutting in front of everypony to a symphony of annoyed grumbles. "Your funeral," Anon muttered.

Inside the spa lobby were three large crates.

"Meester Anon!" Aloe called out. "There you are! These- Oh! Princess Twilight!" Aloe gave a quick curtsy, as did Lotus when she walked out to the lobby.

"These crates arrived earlier this morning," Lotus said. "They are addressed to you! What in the world is all this?"

"Oh, damn! I forgot I ordered all this!" Anon said. "This is... these are some tools of the trade I bought to help me with my work." He looked at Twilight. "Since you seem to want to be my number one stalker, you can help me unpack them."

Aloe scowled, "Manners, Anon!"

"No, it's okay," Twilight said, levitating the smallest of the three crates. "I did rather impose myself on him."

"This way," Anon directed, leading her into his massage suite. She placed the crate down inside the suite with a heavy thud.

"Wow. That is heavy," she remarked. "What in the world is it?"

"Let's find out," he said. The large, former-storage closet was still partially that, with a toolbox up on a shelf. He took a screwdriver and jammed it under the corner of the crate lid and pried it open, and then broke down the sides. Inside was a black steel barrel with bold white letters painted on the side that said 'CUM LUBE'. "Ooh, I wonder what's inside!" he asked sarcastically.

Twilight blushed and went to get the next crate. Though the largest, it was much lighter. Anon opened it and rolled the rack of erotic costumes over into the corner of the massage suite.

The third crate was of average size and weight. Twilight helped Anon pry the lid off and looked inside. Her expression was, at first, one of confusion. That gave way to... more confusion.

"Wh- what?" she asked.

Anon hadn't the time to humor her as he set to work unloading the crate and lining the shelves with, "Tools of the trade," he told her.

Many of them very much looked like construction tools equipment. Others were utterly baffling to her in appearance. Some things, however, were plainly evident in their purpose. She lifted a large, red dildo out of the crate. It was still sealed in its packaging, labeled, "The Big Apple?" Twilight asked, waggling the semi-turgid phallus at him. He grabbed the figurative 'tool' from her hooves and set it on the shelf with the other literal tools. "What sort of 'massage' are you providing here, exactly?" she asked as he finished unloading the last crate.

Anon pointed at his freshly-minted S-Class certification mounted up on the wall. "World class, apparently," Anon said. Twilight looked away. He rolled his eyes. "Don't be coy with me, Twilight. You're one of the smartest ponies in Equestria. You know precisely what I do here. Now if you don't mind, there is a long line of ponies waiting out there. And it isn't polite to keep them waiting."

Twilight moved between him and the doorway. "And it would be impolite to keep me waiting, too."

"Wha-? No!" Anon tried to push his way past her. "You had your chance in Canterlot with Primo Nachos, or whatever. Besides, I thought you said you had a guy for that!"

"I do," she said. "I mean, I did. Or at least, I thought I did."

"The fuck? Did he die?"

"What!? No! He's just... unavailable," she said.

"But... you're a princess. How is he unavailable?" he asked.

"Well he is... married," she muttered.

"Ooh. Scandalous!"

"Yeah, well keep that to yourself!" she said. "He has a foal, too. I'm not about to be the cause of a broken home."

"Hey, what happens in here, stays in here," he assured her. "My lips are sealed,"

"Good. So now you understand my predicament."

"Yup. That certainly does suck," Anon agreed. "But you still gotta wait your turn."

"But-"

Anon grabbed the water hose and started spraying her with cold water. "Out!" Twilight shrieked and he chased her through the spa lobby.

The other mares waiting at the front of the line watched Anon chase after the princess with the water hose.

"Back of the line!" Anon yelled at her. "Make an appointment! No cutting!"

"Did he just kick out the princess for us?" one asked.
"That is the most chivalrous thing I've ever seen!"
"Oh my gosh. I have never been so turned on before."
"Uhgh, fuck! I think I just came a little bit," another moaned as she clenched her hind legs together. Anon wasn't the only one making puddles in the lobby.

He coiled up the hose and discarded the broken-down crates. He straightened out his shirt to make himself presentable as he returned to the lobby. "Ladies," he greeted. "Good morning. Who's first?"

The mare at the front of the queue desperately wrapped her hooves around his thigh. "Take me now! I am SO fucking ready!"

Another day, another couple dozen thoroughly-satisfied clients seen to. The clock tower in the center of town chimed the end of the workday.

Lotus helped the last mare exit through the lobby on shaky hooves.

"F-fuck! I'm still tingling!" she moaned as she glanced back over her shoulder. "Thank you, Anon! Sorry about the, uh..."

"It's quite alright," Anon said, wringing out his drenched shirt. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He hung his shirt on a hanger and turned to head to the back of the spa, walking past Aloe. "I'm gonna hit the showers before I head home."

Anon finished disrobing and stepped under the shower, rinsing off the sweat, grime, and goodness-knows-what else from the long workday. Aloe poked her head into the shower room, catching his attention.

"Oh, hey Aloe. Look, I know it's not fair that you and your sister are waiting patiently for your turns after all these clients-"

"No, it's not that..." Aloe glanced at his naked body glistening in the running water and smirked. "Well, it's not juuust that," she added. "There is a... an after-hours client that is here to see you."

"Aloe, I told you; I don't do overtime."

"Pleeease meester Anon! These will be the only exception!"

Anon braced his palm against the tile wall and groaned. "Ugh! Fine." He rinsed off and toweled himself dry. He threw on a fresh pair of boxers and nothing else as he strode back to the lobby. Lotus was waiting by his suite. "What? You?" he asked her.

Lotus blushed. "No. She's waiting inside."

"Who is?" he asked.

"Princess Twilight, of course," Lotus said.

"I should have figured," he muttered.

"I do think you owe it to her," Aloe said as she began closing up the spa. "A princess or not, your little display this morning was quite embarrassing for her."

"Yeah, yeah." Anon opened the door and stepped inside. Princess Twilight Sparkle was sitting patiently in his chair beside the massage table. "Princess," he greeted her.

"Anon."

"I'm..." Anon cleared his throat, "Sorry, about this morning. I was frustrated, and I know you were just looking out for me and that... mares aren't themselves when they're... you know. But that's not a good reason to-" he snorted "To hose you down in front of all your subjects."

"I would be more inclined to believe you if you weren't trying so hard to not laugh right now."

Anon tried his best to suppress his chuckle. "To be fair, it was pretty funny."

"Humor is subjective."

"We'll ask Pinkie about it later."

"No. We will not," Twilight said with all seriousness.

"Alright, alright. Confidentiality and all that," he huffed. "Anyways, I take it you're not here for a social call."

"You would be right."

"Well, I'm already late for happy hour, so let's get to it. How would you like it?"

"First of all, put this on," Twilight said, grabbing a Royal Guard costume from the rack.

"Ah, the 'princess and the royal guard'. Classic." Anon put on the pieces of the costume. They were made for a pony, but he was able to wear the disjointed pieces well enough to establish the broad strokes of the character. He would have to enlist Rarity in making some modifications for his erotic wardrobe. "Say, this wouldn't happen to be a certain married royal guard, would it?"

"That- That's none of your damn business!"

"That sounds like a yes," Anon grinned.

"S-Shut up!" Twilight yelled.

"Hey, relax. I told you, whatever happens in here stays in here."

Twilight's blush intensified. She opened her saddlebag. "When he knew he wouldn't be able to see me today, he sent me this." She pulled out a conic flask with gold trim. A viscous white liquid sloshed around inside it. It took no leap to guess what it was. "As long as I get this in me, it will put out the flames of my estrus, but... I still want that experience."

Experience.

"Um, speaking of experience, if I look under your tail, am I going to have like, a trans-dimensional existential crisis?"

"What!? No."

"Okay, good. I was just checking if that was a thing for all alicorns."

Twilight climbed up onto the massage table and flagged her tail up. Anon winced for a moment as he braced himself. But he was able to look at her pussy just fine without ascending to a higher plane. He had seen quite a few in his new vocation. Each one had a unique beauty in its own way. Sometimes he could tell if an older mare had a foal already. But others could have fooled him.

Twilight's wasn't anything spectacular, despite her being an alicorn. Perhaps because she ascended, rather than being born one. Not that hers wasn't pretty. It was quite lovely. Her pursed lips formed a thin, vertical line. Along with the pucker of her ponut, they were only a slightly darker shade of her lavender fur.

"So... do you want the full course of foreplay or-"

"No, no. You can just mount me," she said before tapping the flask on the table next to her. "Just as long as when you're done, you pour this in there."

Anon shrugged. "Alright. Simple enough." He dropped his shorts and kicked them aside. He moved to stand behind her, holding her flank in one hand and guiding his dick with the other. The moment his tip touched her pussy she yelped and shirked away from him. "Whoa, are you okay?"

"The hell are you doing!?"

"... Mounting you?"

"You touched my no-no square!"

"..... what?"

"Peepees go in poopers!" Twilight said in all seriousness.

"What the fuck!? Are you twelve? Why are you talking like you just had a stroke!?"

"It's called the Facts of Life, Anon. Sheesh! A stallion peepee goes in a mares pooper to give a spunk suppository. The stallion testosterone gets absorbed trans-dermally through the lining of the colon, to treat estrus. And then, if the mare is a good girl, she gets to have a foal!"

"Oh wow..."

"Oh I'm sorry Anon, did I just blow your mind?"

"Are you fucking with me? You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Uh, yeah! I mean, he does have a foal. So I think he's something of an authority on making one!"

Anon felt like his head was spinning. "How could someone so dumb be made the head of state!? Actually, don't answer that. I know exactly how that can happen. But seriously, how can you be an adult and not know how sex works? Doesn't Equestria have sexual education?"

"Well actually..." Twilight shuffled nervously. "I was homeschooled before I went to magic school. I know it was supposed to be part of the curriculum, but it just sorta never came up. And I never asked for it."

"So this... stallion just told you that it worked like this and you never thought to fact-check it? You, of all ponies?"

"I trusted him!"

"Well if he has a foal, then you're right; he does know how to make one. But that also means he knows how to not make one."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, by only having anal sex with you, he's trying to prevent you from getting pregnant. And if he's married, then I can understand why."

"So how would I have a foal then!?"

"Vaginal intercourse!"

"You mean like..."

Anon rolled his eyes. "Yes. A stallion peepee in your no-no square."

"But he said that would hurt! That's why he never did it!"

"I mean, it might hurt your first time, but after that it's supposed to feel really good!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! Wow. I can't believe you're still a virgin."

"I'm not a virgin. I've had his peepee in my pooper lots of times."

"Please stop talking like that! You sound like a little filly, and that makes me really uncomfortable." Another thought occurred to him. "Wait, hold up. Does this mean you've never masturbated, either?"

"Uh, no! I'm not a stallion, duh!" she said.

Anon's jaw dropped so hard it was barely attached to the bottom of his face. "Oh you poor, sweet, innocent, summer child... You've never, once, in your whole life been curious to even touch yourself there?"

"Ew! No. Why would I?"

"Touch yourself there!"

"What, with my hooves? No, that's gross."

"For fuck's sake..." Anon groaned. "I think I have some hoof gloves in the doctor costume set..."

"No, I still wouldn't want to."

"Well then let me do it," he said.

"No! It'll hurt!"

"I promise you, it won't."

"What if it does?"

"Twilight, you have magic! You could snap me in half like a twig if you wanted to!"

"That's true. I mean, I wouldn't... but-"

"Twilight, I Pinkie Pie Promise it won't hurt."

Twilight's eyes went wide. "Anon, if you think my magic is scary, you really don't want to mess around with a Pinkie Promise."

"I'm not messing around, Twilight. I'm serious. It'll feel really good."

"O-okay..." Twilight said nervously as she laid back down. Her tail was still flagging reflexively, despite her nervousness that would have otherwise had it tucked between her legs. Twilight kept struggling to look back at Anon as he moved closer.

"Here, why don't you roll over so you can watch more comfortably," he suggested. Twilight rolled onto her back and he inclined her upper half slightly to make it easier for her to see.

Anon hovered his palm over her steaming-hot marehood, a hair's breadth away from her violet tuft of pubic fur nestled just above her vulva. He could feel the intense, literal heat of her estrus radiating off of her neglected marehood. Twilight bit her lip nervously, despite his promise. Ever so slowly, so gently, he closed the distance and cupped her pussy with his palm.

Twilight whimpered. Not in pain, or even surprise. Just at the alien sensation of the contact. Like sitting on a cold toilet seat. But it was not unpleasant.

"Okay?" Anon asked with concern, keeping his hand still.

Twilight nodded. "Yeah it's- it's okay. But it doesn't feel 'really good' like you promised, either."

Anon smiled. "Don't worry, my princess. That comes next." He fanned out his fingers, parting her pussy lips with his index and ring finger, letting his middle finger dip between them, sliding against her slick interior. He moved it up along between them, just barely grazing her nub at the top. It was like he had plucked a guitar string to her central nervous system.

Twilight's back arched up off the massage table, and her wing sprung out from under her to either side. She sucked in a breath so quickly it sounded like a muffled, inward scream. As quickly as her back bucked off the table she fell back down onto it, panting. "What did you just do to me!?"

"I barely touched you."

"What sorcery is this!?"

"This is a clitoris." Anon placed his finger against her clit, keeping it still.

Whatever thought or action Twilight was about to attempt was instantly cancelled. The strength of her limbs failed and her facial expression shifted randomly like somepony having a stroke. It was indicative of her line of thought being likewise scrambled. She tried to speak, but only fragments of words managed to dribble from her mouth in an jumble of guttural vowels.

Just as soon as it looked like she was regaining her bearings, Anon pressed against her clit with his finger just slightly firmer. It wasn't much, barely the weight of his hand, but it was just enough to keep her teetering at the edge of incoherence. Her spasms became more frantic as she struggled to even draw air, until at last, Anon took his hand away again.

While she regained her breath, Anon brought his fingers to his lips. Princess Celestia's nectar was a supernatural delight without mortal compare. Among the rest of the ponies, their flavor was similar to a degree, with variances from diet and whatnot. But he had heard rumors that a mare's chemistry changes after she gets rutted. At least, he thought they were just rumors. But the proof was dripping from his hands. Virgin pussy tasted different.

Instead of the watery, slightly-bitter earthy notes he was expecting of a mare, Twilight's unmarred pussy had a sweet tartness to it. He held her thighs apart with his hands and licked his lips.

She yelped as he started to lean forward. "What are you doing!?"

"I was going to... lick you."

"Eww, gross! W-why!?"

"Because it tastes good, and it'll feel good for you," he said. "Has he never done that for you?"

"No. Why would he? That's the mouth that kisses his foal goodnight!"

"And you've never sucked his dick?"

"Well of course I have!" she said, rolling her eyes. "Sheesh, I'm not stupid. How else are you supposed to suck the semen out? And I'm sure not going to be able to take it in the bum if it's dry."

"And he never returned the favor?" he asked. She shook her head. "That simply will not do." Before Twilight could even say another word, Anon closed the distance, cupping her marehood with his mouth and licking her with practiced precision. Up and down between her lips, and occasionally probing inside, savoring the rare sweetness of her pristine flower. He hadn't been anypony's first before. Except for Rarity, though. Technically. As good as she tasted, it wasn't this unique, virgin flavor. He glanced at the flask of semen on the shelf.

"So is that common?" he asked, pointing at the ornate bottle with his free hand while the other started working a couple fingers into her pussy.

Twilight's eyes fluttered from the feeling of her pussy being serviced. But her gaze followed the direction of his finger to the flask.

"Yeah-" she breathed. "Lots of ponies do it. Usually lesbians who don't care for penetration. So they just get a bit of it and put it in themselves to quell their heat."

"Or in your case, if their partner is away," Anon added, "But I'll bet they put it in here, and not their ass." He added a third and fourth finger. He was unsure if she even heard him as her head lolled back onto the massage table pad. He proceeded with great care and caution, gently feeling his way inside her for any sort of barrier. Rarity may not have had her hymen anymore, but Twilight still could.

Anon rotated his wrist and added the tip of his thumb with the rest of his fingers inside her, advancing slowly, agonizingly so, until the widest part of his hand slipped inside her entrance. Twilight let out a sharp gasp. But with the most difficult part passed, the rest would be smooth sailing as he pushed deeper inside her. Inch after inch of his arm slid inside without meeting any sort of resistance.

Before long, Anon's (elbow) deep tissue massage was precisely that, with the crook of his elbow against her vulva, and the knuckles of his fist just barely grazing her cervix. As was the case in the anatomy book he had gotten from Nurse Redheart, like humans, the hymen wasn't like some sort of freshness seal. In many cases, it was a very small part of the internal architecture, or absent all together, so breaking it the first time wasn't always necessary, or even possible.

Losing one's virginity didn't always have to be painful. So much the better for Twilight. She deserved for this to be a pleasant experience. Reading her reactions as he bottomed out inside her told him that it certainly seemed to be the case. He brought his arm about two thirds of the way out and slid back inside her again and again.

Accustomed to him now, her whimpers at the strange sensation inside her turned into throaty moans of pleasure. Taking a stallionhood in her tailpipe didn't hurt, per se, but neither was it explicitly pleasurable either. But taking a load of foal batter deep inside her always served to satisfy her estrus. And she was never one to argue with results. Feeling it moving in and out gave her only an echo of this sort of pleasure, diffused through her internal anatomy.

But now that she was finally getting a proper rutting, everything she had ever felt before this paled in comparison. It was like night and day. Like the difference between shooting a canon ball and throwing it. Her body squirmed on the massage table, but Anon had her anchored well in place with his arm literally in her center of mass.

Anon pumped his arm in and out of her at a steady pace. There was no need to try to mix things up for her first time and startle her. He let the pleasure build up inside her slowly. Her clitoris instinctively winked at him in a desperate plea for attention. With his free hand he gently massaged it with his thumb, so as to not overstimulate her too soon.

He brought his arm about halfway out and felt a spongy mound within her vagina's anterior wall. He unfurled his fingers and pressed them against that spot, curling them back in a come-hither motion against it over and over again. With his other thumb still on her clit, he placed the rest of his palm over the corresponding area above her vulva, letting him massage inside her more firmly.

Twilight's general moans of pleasure shifted into nervous whimpers. Her complexation turned into a deeper shade of red blushing. "Anon, I- I know I went before you came in here, but I think I need to use the little fillies room."

"You're alright, Twilight," he said, keeping up the assault on her g-spot.

Twilight felt the pressure building up inside her. Her horn sputtered a few useless sparks. She couldn't focus her magic. She could barely remember her own name. She tried to squirm away, but her muscles failed her. With half his forearm inside her pussy, Anon had complete control of her body.

"Anon! S- something's happening! Please! I- I can't hold it!"

"Don't hold it in, Twilight."

"N-no- I- I don't-"

Anon pressed his palm against her abdomen a bit more as he kept massaging her g-spot. "It's okay, Twilight. You'll feel so much better."

"Nngh-" Twilight writhed on the table, unable to get away from the growing tension in her belly. The building pressure. Twisting itself into a bigger and bigger knot, getting pulled tighter and tighter.

"Give it to me. Let it go."

"NyyaaAAHH!" The knot snapped and her pussy quivered and gripped as she gushed out around his wrist with a mighty spray. Her hips involuntarily bucked into the air, thrusting against his arm as a series of smaller squirts accompanied each spasm.

Anon relented his assault and kept still to let her come down from the ecstasy of her climax. Once she finally relaxed, he gently pulled his wrist out of her.

Twilight looked down at herself and blushed, covering her face with her hooves in shame as another gush spurted out after his hand pulled free.

"Oh my goodness!" she whimpered. "I'm so sorry! I can't believe I wet myself!"

Anon chuckled. "Well, yes and no. I mean, yes, you clearly did, and me." He tugged at the soaked fabric of his Royal Guard costume. "But not in the way you're thinking. Didn't it feel good?"

The rational part of Twilight's mind slowly came back online. "Yes. Really good!"

Anon licked his fingers before toweling them dry. "Yeah. That's called an orgasm. I can't believe you've never had that before."

Twilight brushed her tousled mane out of her eyes. "Well I've never gotten intimate with a human before."

"Rightly, that should happen for you every time you have sex," he said. "Though it can be tough if you're only doing anal. Speaking of..." Anon grabbed the bottle of stallion semen. "Was it your plan you just... pour this in your ass?"

"Well I was going to use an applicator."

"What, you mean like a cooking baster?" he asked.

"Well I was thinking, more like-" Twilight pointed at the shelf, at the strap-on dildo with the cum lube pump function.

"I mean, yeah. We can still do that. But... I guess the bigger question is, now that you've discovered vaginal intercourse, do you still want that up your butt? Because that is not how you make foals."

"Well I know that now!" she said in embarrassment.

"And if he has a foal, then he must also know that."

"Yes, that stands to reason."

"So he must be purposefully trying to not get you pregnant."

"..."

"Right?"

"But why would he do that?" she asked.

Anon shrugged. "Lots of reasons. But I have no idea. That's between you two."

"Well luckily, that's not a factor right now," she said, looking at the flask.

"Isn't it?" Anon asked. "If you decide to have a child with someone, it should be something that you both choose to do, honestly, together."

Twilight frowned. "It's not like he would be able to be involved, anyway."

"I know. Because he's married. Which, again, maybe you should find somepony else to-"

"No!" Twilight snapped. "I don't want anypony else. I don't want anypony else's foal!"

"Well then I will tell you the same thing I would tell anyone else. Talk to your partner. Now that you know how to properly get pregnant, then you should convince him to do it himself."

Twilight's horn glowed as she narrowed her eyes. "I could just take that flask back from you and do it myself."

"I'm certain that you could. If that's how you want to win. If that's how you want to bring a new life into the world. Through deceit. Betraying the wishes of the one pony you seem to care so much about."

Twilight's horn faded. "No."

Anon grabbed the strap-on and equipped it onto himself. Though it was designed to be worn by a mare, the adjustability of the straps made it work well enough. He poured the flask of semen into the lube pump.

"Alright, come on," he said. "Flip over so we can put this where it was intended."

Twilight rolled over on the table and Anon squirted a copious amount of lube onto the dildo, and then he smeared a handful against her puckered ponut. As with other mares that had a penchant for playing the back nine, her O-ring stretched around the blunt tip of the dildo with minimal resistance. Bit by bit he worked it into her.

It was a familiar sensation to her. It only elicited a gasp from her when she felt her pussy being penetrated as well. With the dildo braced against his pelvis, his real penis was free to also fuck her at the same time.

"Nice?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah. It actually feels better!"

Anon started thrusting. Unlike the stallion fucking her ass in the past, Anon was positioned low enough for his balls to hit her formerly-neglected clit during the rut.

Twilight panted as her hooves gripped at the table edges as he fucked her. Intercourse had never been so pleasurable before.

"Oh princess, my princess!" Anon said, playing up the role of the Royal Guard pony. "How may I serve thee?"

"Pull my tail! And- preen!" she moaned.

Anon took a handful of her tail and held it taut with a firm tension as he leaned forward to nibbled on the tips of her feathers like he had learned.

"How. Is this? My Princess?" he asked between nibbles.

"Tell me-" Twilight struggled to talk as he rutted her. "Tell me I'm better than your wife."

"Of course!" Anon said. "You're smarter, and prettier, and so much better than my wife, my Princess!" He reached around underneath her with his free hand to play with her clit even more. He felt her shudder as she was getting closer to a second orgasm. Twilight put her face into her hooves.

"Is something wrong, my princess?" he asked.

She was teetering on the edge of another climax. It wasn't that she was embarrassed to cum again. "T- tell me you love me and-" she whimpered, "Call me Twilie."

Anon felt himself getting close too. He leaned down close to her ear and whispered, "I love you, Twilie."

Twilight cried out as she came a second time. The powerful muscles of her tight pussy milked his dick. It would be a tragedy if human semen could soil the flavor of a virgin pony pussy. But it was too late to turn back now. He hilted into her pussy and ass as he came inside her. He let go of her tail to grab the lube pump and squirt the stallion semen deep inside her ass, sure to quell her heat if her multiple orgasms didn't.

A costume change and another shower later, Anon was ready to head home.

Princess Twilight had likewise taken some time to make herself decent. She met him outside the spa.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey," he echoed.

"Walk you home?" she offered.

"Uh..."

"As a friend," she added.

He shrugged. "Yeah, sure."

They walked together through Ponyville in the evening twilight.

"Thank you. Again" Twilight said.

"You're welcome... again," he groaned. The mare had been a broken record of gratitude from the moment they finished until he finally managed to kick her out of the spa long enough to clean and close up.

"Are you sure there isn't anything else I can do to repay you?" she asked.

"No. I mean, not unless you can expedite the shipping delivery of my new bed. Because right now, bed is all I'm thinking about."

"I can do that!" Twilight said. "Once we get to your house, I could teleport it into your bedroom!"

"That... that would actually be really great!" Anon said.

They walked up to the front door and Anon unlocked it with his key. Inside, Chrysalis was sitting at the kitchen table with a copy of Ogres & Oubliettes©, grid paper, spreadsheets, and paint. Across from her was a stallion with white fur, and a two-tone blue mane. Each of them were wielding a paintbrush.

Twilight balked. "Shining!? What are you doing here with her!?"

Shining Armor looked down at the little figurine held in his magic, and then back at her. "... Painting miniatures?"

Author's Note

2238045

12. Luna

Princess Twilight Sparkle stood in the doorway to Anon's house and just stared at the stallion with white fur, and a two-tone blue mane, sitting at his kitchen table with Chrysalis, and a copy of Ogres & Oubliettes©, grid paper, spreadsheets, and paint. Each of them were wielding a paintbrush.

Twilight balked. "Shining!? What are you doing here with her!?"

Prince Shining Armor looked down at the little figurine held in his magic, and then back at her. "... Painting miniatures?"

"Does Cadance know you're here? With her!?" Twilight practically growled the word, as though it was vile in her mouth. The former queen was a prideful individual who normally wouldn't stand for such mockery. But as the changeling looked across the table at Anon, crosswise between the arguing ponies, all she could do was roll her eyes and try to make herself as small as possible in a rare act of deference.

"Well..." Shining started, "she actually thinks I'm in Canterlot. On 'royal business'. And- hey wait a minute, why aren't you in Canterlot?"

"I came to check up on Chrysalis," Twilight said. Anon snorted, earning a glare from the princess. "Don't dodge the question! What are you doing here?"

"Painting mini-"

"WHY are you here?" she clarified.

"Same as you," Shining said. "To check on Chryssi after I heard that she had escaped the statue."

"Chryssi?" Twilight asked.

"Er, well Chrysalis is a bit of a mouthful," he said.

"So are you," Chrysalis murmured with a smirk.

"NOT HELPING!" he barked.

Anon grabbed a cider from his fridge while the siblings bickered.

Applezzz Cider: A potent alcoholic blend of apple cider and sleeping potion.
'For when being awake... is a mistake.'

Twilight was incredulous. "Why aren't you trying to kill her? Let alone doing arts and crafts together with your dolls."

"Hey, these are action figures," Chrysalis said.

"You shut up!" Twilight said. "Answer me, Shining! After the mind rape-"

"Well-"

"And the regular rape!" she continued.

"Twi, it wasn't as bad as all that!" Shining defended. "I mean, yeah, the mind control stuff was majorly uncool."

"Sorry," Chrysalis muttered.

"But that didn't even really start until you arrived the night before the wedding and started making me question things," he said.

"Are you blaming me!?" Twilight asked.

"Of course not!" he said. "I'm just trying to put things into context for you. Before that, I wasn't being coerced for anything. It was actually pretty good. She didn't rape me, aside from her just not being the real Cadance. It wasn't like it was violent or anything. It was actually..." he trailed off as a goofy grin spread across his face. "Uh- I mean, and she was into the things I liked, like O&O." He motioned at the table.

Anon drank his cider.

"But what about Cadance!?" Twilight said. "She was trapped in that cave!"

"It wasn't like she was going to let her die, Twilight," he said. "Changelings can't feed on love meant for another creature if that creature is dead."

"I'm not a monster," Chrysalis said. "The infiltration of Canterlot was never meant to be a violent invasion. But... mistakes were made. And deep undercover, I was cut off from my subordinate commanders who feared the worst, and made the unilateral decision to escalate. I admit, I was proud of them at the time. And with Celestia neutralized, I had high hopes. But in hindsight, well..."

Shining continued. "And after the wedding, when I got my real Cadance back, I found that she wasn't nearly as into tabletop gaming, or..."

"As kinky?" Chrysalis suggested.

"To be clear-!" Shining defended, "I didn't come here for sex! I really did come to check on her as an escaped prisoner. I just... happened to have my O&O stuff with me, and... one thing led to another. It was nice catching up on old times."

"And what about after the wedding?" Twilight asked. "Teaming up with Tirek and Sombra and Cozy?"

"I was cut off from my hive!" Chrysalis said. "Changelings are extremely social creatures. And I hadn't had any... I- well, I'm not me when I'm hungry. But now that I have a steady supply of food..." Her gaze drifted over to the human.

Anon finished his cider. "I have a name, you know," he said.

"Yes, of course! How rude of me," Twilight said. "Anon, this is Prince Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire. Shining, this is Anon, the... human."

"Anon, yes," Shining greeted. "Chryssi has been telling me a lot about you. I must say, your appearance is exactly the way I imagined."

"I still can't tell if that's a compliment or not," Anon grumbled. He extended his hand to shake his hoof.

Shining glanced at Anon's hand. "Eh, given the nature of your vocation, you'll have to forgive me for not shaking your paw."

"That's fair," Anon admitted. "Well this has all been just delightful," he sarcassed. "But I do believe I need to see a mare about a bed." He looked at Twilight.

"Oh, right! Yes, lead the way!" she said. Anon showed Twilight to his bedroom where his old bed still resided. In a flash, the bed vanished and reappeared in the yard outside the bedroom window. With a bit more focus, her horn glowed brighter and a brand new bed materialized in its place, with the price tag still attached. "I'll settle things up with the Beds & Breakfast store tomorrow." She saw his puzzled look. "It's a combination diner and furniture store."

"Sure. Why not." Anon inspected the bed. It was easily twice as large as his old bed. The heavy wooden frame was simple, but sturdy. It felt like an air mattress but moved with a bit of sloshy inertia. "Is this a water bed?" he asked.

"The mattress is actually a cloud bed," Twilight said. "Imported from Cloudsdale. Normally only pegasi can sleep on it. But the mattress cover has a cloud-walking enchantment woven into it. So it will still feel like sleeping on a cloud." Anon laid on the bed. There were no words to describe the superlative comfort of a cloud bed. It formed around, and supported, his weight evenly. His head sank into the accompanying plush, but supportive, cloud pillow.

"I love you."

"Anon, please," Twilight blushed. "You're quite welcome but you don't need to-"

"I was talking to the bed," he said. Twilight's feelings were only mildly hurt.

Anon tried to sit back up, but the fatigue of the day was catching up to him very fast, and even his eyelids felt heavy. He was barely able to lift his wrist to wave her away. "You can find your way out, right? And take your nerd with you."

"He's not a nerd! He-" Twilight realized that Anon was already snoring. She pursed her lips, turned of the bedroom light, and marched back out to the kitchen.

"Hey Twilie, did you want to stay and paint with-"

Twilight's magic grabbed him by the ear, pulling him out of his chair, and along with her to the front door. "We're leaving," she scolded. "You and I have a lot to talk about!"

After the door slammed closed, Chrysalis resumed painting the Sludgenoid infantry minion miniature she was working on. "Pft, and I thought my family had issues..."

Anon slowly awoke some time later to a hissing sound. The stark light from the ceiling flickering on hurt his eyes before they had a chance to adjust. He tried to sit up but found he was under a clear canopy, in some kind of pod. The hissing was the pneumatics lifting the canopy open, letting him sit up and shake off the grogginess of long-term stasis along with the rest of the crew of the USCSS Nostromo, an interstellar tug connected to, and pulling, refinery cargo.

"Hey rookie, you want some coffee?" First Mate Lieutenant Ellen Ripley offered him. He took the simple aluminum cup from her. The coffee was black as deep space, and thick enough for a spanner to stand up in. Anon rubbed his forehead and chuckled. "What's funny?"

"I had a weird dream," he said. "I was in this... magical land with talking horses and..." he trailed off as the details started to slip away.

"Yeah, stasis can do that sometimes," Ripley said, looking at the rest of the crew. "Especially when your dumb asses decide to have a shipping-out party and got shitfaced right before going under. I told you it was a bad mix."

He got to his feet and followed her towards the bridge. Suddenly the lights went out and the emergency red lights came on in an eerie, crimson glow. She looked back over his shoulder and screamed, "Run!"

When Sigourney Weaver,
one of the most badass women in history,
tells you to run...
You run.
You run your ass off!

Anon ran through the dark corridor and looked back over his shoulder. A black, lanky, angular creature chased after them.

"Chyssi? This isn't funny!" Passing a bright red floodlight showed off the shiny, glistening body of a Xenomorph in hot pursuit of them. "That's not Chryssi! THAT'S NOT CHRYSSI!" he screamed as he ran faster down the hallway that seemed to go on forever and getting darker every second. He could hear the hissing snarls of the creature gaining on him faster and faster. It leaped and sank it's teeth into his neck.

~

Anon's head popped off his desk with a start, waking from the nightmare. The red imprint of his spiral notebook marred his cheek.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," his teacher said, teasing him from the front of the classroom. Anon grumbled and rubbed his cheek in embarrassment. He always hated that recurring Alien nightmare. "Well you're just in time to take the exam."

Anon's heart raced. He had been so shaken from the nightmare that he didn't even remember what subject the class was. The textbook on his desk had a picture of Saint Basil's Cathedral. The teacher pushed the book aside and placed the exam on his desk. Everything was in Cyrillic. He didn't even remember signing up for a Russian class. It might as well have been Hieroglyphics to him.

He didn't even have a pen. He checked his pocket. Or he would have if his pants had pockets. Or if he was wearing pants at all!

"How unprepared can you be?" she scolded him.

"Sorry, Mom," he blurted.

All the other kids laughed at him calling the teacher 'Mom'. And the girls pointed and giggled as he covered his naked crotch with his hands.

"Let's make an example of you!" The teacher walked over and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him over to stand in the window, exposing him to the whole world. With a push, she shoved him against the glass, and it fell out of the window frame, and him along with it. He fell from the school room at the top of an impossibly-tall tower. The window caught the updraft and he started to glide. He watched the clouds whisk by underneath him as he soared through the air.

~

Ding... Ding.

Anon blinked awake at the sound of the familiar tone. "Attention passengers, we will be landing at our destination in about 20 minutes. So make sure you have your tray table up, and the seatback in the full, upright position."

Anon didn't even move from where he had been napping against the window. He watched the clouds whisking by under him as he flew. It had been a long flight, and even wilder dreams. Horses, aliens, school, and-

Anon looked up at the oncoming aircraft for just a second before it collided with them. In an instant, first class and the rest of the front of the aircraft was gone. Unbuckled, Anon was thrown from his seat and sucked out, screaming and freefalling into the stratosphere.

~

"Gah!" Anon jumped in his seat with a rush of adrenaline. The sound of the highway rumble strip shocking him awake as he had nodded off at the wheel. He had only fallen asleep for a second, but it felt like it had been ages. The highway in front of him stretched out to the desert horizon. He wanted to pull over and stop but he needed to hurry and get to the dentist. After all, he was late for his appointment and all his teeth were falling out into his hands. "Oh no, oh no!"

"GAH!" Anon's head popped off his pillow. The familiar clock in Ponyville Square chimed the hour. He was late for work. He threw his hands up and huffed. "Perfect! Par for the course! Chryssi, I'm going to work! Stay out of trouble," he called into the house before he headed out.

He wasn't usually up before the dawn, but it was still somewhat dark out, due to it being overcast that morning. More than that, it was foggy. Like, really foggy. But he had walked to work enough times, he knew the way well enough to get there with his eyes closed. And with the visibility as low as it was, that was practically what he was doing. The corners of buildings moved in and out of his range of view as he passed by them, until the familiar storefront of the spa came into view.

He walked inside. It was quiet. It was a weird sort of quiet that feels dissonant in a place that is normally always noisy. Like an empty stadium, or train station. He was worried that he had come in on a day when the spa wasn't open.

"Good morning, Anon," the pink spa twin greeted, walking from the back room to the front desk.

"Good morning Aloe," he replied.

"Pardon?" she asked. He did a double take. Lotus stood at the front desk adorned in her blue fur.

"Oh, sorry Lotus. I didn't sleep very well last night." He looked at the empty spa. "Are we even open? Where is everybody?"

"She rented out the whole spa," Aloe said from behind the desk.

"Who did?" he asked.

The purple pony that was both Aloe and Lotus spoke as her face melted off, "S̸̢̢̱̯̘̘͕̦͝͠Ḩ̜̰̫̱̤̯̣́Ȩ̛͇̣̪̥͎͓̪̼̖̠̟̥͔̟̕͡."

"Okay," Anon said. The door to his massage suite creaked ajar. He walked over and opened it, stepping through. He fell through the floor, screaming into the infinite abyss.

~

Anon's eyes shot open. His heart was racing from the adrenaline rush of the nightmare. Or was it nightmares? He laid there and waited, consciously trying to clear and organize his thoughts. It was just a dream. But it felt so real. But then so did the one before that. "Fuck this Inception bullshit!"

He pinched his cheek. Though just waking up he didn't really have strength in his extremities yet. He slowly, carefully sat up in his bed. It was the same cloud bed that Twilight had gotten for him. At least that territory was familiar. "Fucking bed is haunted!" he groused, trying to let his eyes adjust as he stared into the dark bedroom.

A pair of turquoise eyes looked back at him from the pitch blackness.

"Chyssi?" he heard himself ask. The eyes moved towards him. He saw the outline of a woman who looked pale-blue as she stepped into the sliver of moonlight streaking through the gap in the drawn curtains. She followed his eyes down to where a couple buttons of her collared blouse had come undone, showing off her significant cleavage.

"See something you like?" she asked with a coy grin. Her billowing hair flowed all around her. "Ah, and what have we here?" she asked, wrapping her hand around his girth through his boxer shorts.

"Whoa- whoa!" Anon yelped.

"Is this not every boy's fantasy?" she asked, undoing yet another button of her blouse. "It seems to be quite popular in my experience." She gave him another squeeze. Thick though he was, to the surprise of both of them, he remained flaccid. "What's wrong? Is this not pleasing to your eyes?"

Anon looked at her. She was an objectively stunning woman by any measure. And yet, he didn't feel that familiar biological reaction to such a sight. Maybe her ears were too small, or it was something off about her hooves- er, hands. Maybe if she wore one of those ponytail butt-plugs. Yeah, a ponytail!

"Oh god..." Anon thought. "I think I might not be attracted to humans anymore!"

"No?" she asked in response. He was certain that he had only thought it. Maybe he just thought it really loudly, or he said it without realizing it. He blushed in embarrassment. She took a step back and shimmered for a moment into a blur and then a bright glare. When the light faded, there was a pony standing before him. Her fur was just as blue, and her hair continued to wave in an unseen wind as her tail and mane, twinkling with stars around her horn. Her wings shuffled for a moment at her sides. She was an alicorn. Taller than Twilight, though still shorter than Celestia. So that narrowed it down to either Cadance, or-

"Princess Luna," she introduced herself.

"How- how are you reading my thoughts?" he asked.

"Your thoughts are all we have here," she said, motioning to the room.

"Wait..." Anon stood up and looked around himself. "I'm still dreaming?"

"Tis my domain." She smirked. "And also... my preferred venue for carnal activities."

Anon didn't need a thesaurus to read her tone and body language. "So, what? You just stroll into a pony's wet dream and go for it?"

"Occasionally. Usually it's nothing so direct. I must confess, more often I am merely a voyeur." Luna blushed for a moment. "My charge in the Dreamscape is to aide ponies suffering from nightmares. Especially foals. But such work is not without its pitfalls. If I could go a whole night without seeing a colt rutting his own mother, it would be a first."

"So wait, your plan was to stroll into my dream and give me a handjob?" he asked.

"No, no!" Luna said. "At least, not at first. I was on my usual patrol and I sensed your distress in your nightmare. But when I came to your aide, I found that you were not a foal, nor even a pony. But I recognized you from my sister's dreams."

"Tia dreamed about me?" he asked.

Luna nodded. "It seems you've left quite an impression on her. Not surprising given your performance tending to her estrus."

"Oh. Did she tell you about that?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No. But she didn't need to. I could feel the tremors in the ether all the way in Silver Shoals."

"You could feel your sister orgasming?" he asked.

Luna winced. "Eh, not so much that, as it was the ethereal disturbance from her magical outburst, and it's... *ahem*, emotional signature. That was what the former queen was able to capitalize on."

"I'm aware." Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "So what? You recognized me, felt envious, and came into my dream for a turn to play with your sister's toy?"

Luna raised a hoof. "Do not take me for some juvenile filly! I came to your aide in your nightmare," she corrected, and then paused for a long moment. "Also, yes. You clearly gave her quite an experience. So I thought I might give you one of my own."

"I'm not going to ascend to a higher plane if I look at your pussy am I?"

Luna snorted indignantly and crossed her hooves. "No! That is a purely Tia problem!" After a moment she relaxed. "What I mean is, since we're in a dream, we can do anything! Even impossible things. That's why I looked into your mind, to mimic a female of your species. I thought that you might enjoy the familiarity of it. But alas, I think you have been in Equestria too long if your tastes have changed so much."

Anon shrugged. "Yeah, well..."

"And yourself?" she asked, placing her hoof gently against his chest. "Are you pleased with this form?"

"It's... the one I know best."

"Does it not pique your curiosity to know what it would be like to be a stallion?" she asked.

"I mean, I guess..."

"Hmm..." Luna mused. "In your next life, perhaps. But for tonight, my estrus need tending. And I seek Anon's happy ending." She crawled onto the bed and looked back at him over her shoulder as she flagged her tail aside. Her marehood was unique. Though, they were all unique to some degree. But the appearance of Luna's was like nothing he had ever seen before. It was the same midnight blue as the rest of her fur. But the blotches of her flank were not just part of her cutie mark. It extended to her loins. Her marehood was dappled! Anon snickered. "What is so amusing!?" she asked indignantly.

"You have pussy freckles!" he said, stifling a giggle. "It's cute!"

"It is NOT cute!" she shouted. "I'm the second most powerful pony in Equestria! My vulva commands your respect and attention!"

"When you yell, it winks, and it's just adorable!" Anon put his hands on his cheeks like he was dawwing at a kitten.

She turned and yelled at him, "STOP IT! Stop teasing us! It winks because- because- thou knows perfectly well WHY!" This time she noticed herself winking when she yelled. "Cease thine jest of thy dapples!"

"Why the fuck are you talking like that?" he asked.

Luna bristled. "Tis- It's... an old habit of our- of mine! It tends to come out when I'm flustered."

"Oh? You're flustered? Because of your pussy freckles?"

"They're dapples! And... yes," Luna admitted. "It's something of a sore subject. Tia used to tease me about them when we were younger."

"Your sister... teased you about the appearance of your marehood?"

Luna rolled her eyes. "I meant that she teased me about my dapples in general!"

"Maybe she was just envious."

"Hmff! Tia envies no pony."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. "I mean, if a stallion so much as looks at her marehood, he goes blind or insane. As she said herself, it makes dating quite a hassle. But yours! You!" he beamed. "It's sooo cute!"

"Is not!" she retorted with complete lack of the maturity for her age.

"Why is that such a bad thing? There's nothing wrong with being cute. It doesn't mean that you're not attractive. You are! You're genuinely one of the most beautiful ponies I've ever met!"

"But not THE most beautiful..." Luna pouted.

"Wow. Are you a younger sibling or what?" he mocked. "You really need to ditch that inferiority complex. One moment you're telling me how powerful you are, and now this."

Luna huffed at him. "You know, when I heard about your Prima Nocta, I thought I would be the one to claim first night. First NIGHT!" she emphasized. "But that night when I went to visit your dream, Tia had warded you away from me within her bedroom. Even this, she took away from me. She always had to be first."

She slumped over onto his bed and rolled away from him. He laid down next to her, talking to her over her shoulder. "Well, you know, I've been studding all spring. So there were actually quite a few ponies that were before her, if that makes you feel any better."

"It doesn't."

"Well, then..." Anon placed his hand on her shoulder, and rubbed it down along her side, reaching around her to her belly as he went further south, to the crook of her inner thigh. "What about this?" he asked as his hand moved over her thigh to her cutie mark on her flank, before going back again, applying a subtle pressure for her to choose, if she wanted to continue, to roll onto her back, or belly.

She decided on indecision, remaining on her side and laying her cheek against her elbow, but also, spreading her legs just slightly, permitting him access to reach around between them.

His approach was slow and steady, sliding his hand between her teats to the edge of her vulva. She felt it coming, but her breath still hitched at the sensation of his hand's first contact on her pussy. She was noticeably aroused, both hot and wet. He traced his fingers along the outside of it, feeling her smooth, exposed skin amid her soft blue fur. He dragged his finger up along the center without parting her lips, barely touching her. He could feel her impatience growing.

Her hot clitoris winked against his palm, surprising them both. Her whole body twitched at the sensitive contact, and it made her wink a second time quickly. Anon lifted his hand away to save her from being over-stimulated.

"She must really need this," he thought.

"I do," she whimpered, reminding him that she could hear those thoughts.

He pressed his fingers against her pussy again more firmly, sliding between her puffy lips, rubbing up and down along her sticky interior. He dipped lower to the entrance of her needy honey pot, easily getting two, then three fingers inside. He curled his fingers inside her and made small thrusts with them, causing her clit to wink again against his wrist. Her whimpers of desperation had transformed into moans of pleasure.

With his free hand he reached up and wrapped his fingers around her horn, gently, but firmly as he slowly started to stroke it. He moved his hand up and down along the length of her horn, feeling the texture of her spiral ridges against his palm.

She rolled away from him, onto her belly. His position meant he couldn't reach her pussy any more from that angle, so he shifted to go around the other direction. He pulled her tail aside and continued to finger her pussy from behind. Her scent wafted up to him. It was unique and hard to articulate. The closest comparison he could arrive at was poppy blossoms.

His other hand was still stroking her horn, making her wing spring open under him. The adept multi-tasker that he was, he leaned down and started to nibble along the leading edge of her primary feathers to preen her. She quivered under his ministrations. Not like a full orgasm, but something a bit close to being tickled. Her horn pulsed in his hand, briefly giving him the sensation of pins and needles, like it had fallen asleep.

Her wings tensed and flexed, ruffling involuntarily at first, but then with intention as they pointed vertically and then pressed back on his shoulders, directing him down to focus his attention on her hind end. It was her intention that he give her his deep tissue massage. He wasn't precisely sure how he knew what she wanted without her even having to tell him. Perhaps that was how mind reading worked.

"Yes," she purred, answering his un-asked question. Anon kneeled behind her on the bed and added his thumb to the four fingers already inside her and slowly eased his hand in, waiting for her pussy to relax and stretch around his wrist. "Yesss," she purred now for an entirely different reason.

He made small movements at first, thrusting in and out of her, getting deeper each time. He reached under his arm with his free hand to play with her clit as he went deeper. When he was elbow-deep, his fingers still hadn't bottomed out. Even so, he made a fist inside her and rolled his wrist, along with rotating his forearm while he kept thrusting.

Keeping her knees bent Luna folded her wings closed to roll onto her side, and then onto her back completely, taking care not to grip too tightly with her vaginal muscles and spin freely around his arm.

Anon moved his free hand to follow along with her to continuing giving her clit attention. A blue aura of her magic took his wrist and pushed it lower, beside his arm buried in her pussy.

"Really!?" he asked incredulously. She just gave him a wicked grin and nodded. "Okaaay..." He pulled his arm out most of the way to give his other hand slack to slip inside beside the first, placing his palms together like he was praying. Sure enough, he had two hands inside her up to his wrists. A nudge of her magic against his elbows beckoned him to resume his work.

Anon moved slowly into this new territory, expecting her to yelp in pain at any moment, but it never came. Even as he was up to both elbows inside her. With his arms pinned together inside her, it didn't leave him much range of motion. But he did his best. It seemed to please her, as evidenced by her clit winking in front of him. The distance of his upper arms kept his face out of reach of being able to service her orally.

Luna's magic on his shoulders pushed him downward to lay on the bed, with his arms straight out in front of him, in a flying pose like he was Superman. Her magic pulled him to her, taking even his elbows inside her to get his face to her pussy.

Anon's astonishment took a back seat to the task before him. He kissed her clit each time it winked out, and licked her pussy to get it to do so more often. Luna's hips bucked against him, feeling his arms flexing and squirming inside her. Then on the next wink of her clit, he caught it with his lips, giving it a suck, making it swell even larger as she cried out.

Her voice bellowed with the full might of the Royal Canterlot Voice, as though she were a beast many times her size as she came. Her thighs flexed on either side of him, holding him firm along with her magic. He felt her hoof on the back of his head, pressing his face against her pussy. Her clit felt even bigger. The size of a tangerine, or a grapefruit even. But her hoof pushed his head down lower, against his arms as her pussy gushed torrents of her marecum. He felt her magic gripping his whole body shoving him forward. He didn't even have a chance to cry out. All he could do was hold his breath as his head, and the rest of his body followed his arms into the darkness. He could feel the fluid rushing past him as he kicked and squirmed, but it only seemed to make more come.

_

Anon hazarded to open his eyes and he could see the other salmon swimming beside him, their fins were paddling just as hard as his were to get upstream. Driven by instinct to return to the place of his hatching. The cold water of the river rushed through his gills, giving him the oxygen and energy he needed to leap up over the small waterfalls. His first attempt failed. But he did spy a hungry grizzly bear. He readjusted his aim and tried again, safely making it up to the next section of the river. His competitor beside him was not so lucky, leaping directly into the bear's waiting maw. So be it. Less competition at the spawning grounds. It was irrelevant to him if it was survival of the fittest, or merely the luckiest.

_

Sitting beside Anon in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo steered the craft to chase after an errant TIE Fighter.

"Look at him, he's heading for that small moon," the whiney blonde kid in the back seat said.

The older passenger chimed in, "That's no moon... it's a space station. Turn the ship around!"

Han's eyes went wide. "Yeah... I think you're right. Full reverse! Lock in the auxiliary power!"

Anon's furry paw reached out and toggled with dashboard switch.

"Why are we still moving towards it?" the kid complained like it was his job.

Han frantically hit the ship's controls, "We're caught in the tractor beam, and it's pulling us in! There's nothing I can do!"

The tractor beam pulled them inside the giant battle station.

_

Anon's prison cell on the Death Star wasn't so bad. Warm. Cozy. Roomy enough. And he never went hungry. But as months passed, the walls of the cell seemed to close in around him. At first he wasn't sure if he was just imagining it. But soon he could reach opposite sides of it when he was certain that he couldn't before. The longer he was there, the worse it got. He was certain that it had to be some kind of sick, Imperial torture. Even the ceiling was lower. Soon it was no larger than a closet, and then a coffin. It wasn't a prison cell. It was the trash compactor! There was barely room left enough for him to breathe. But there, a small thermal exhaust port! It was barely big enough for him to squeeze through...

~

Anon woke up cradled in Luna's hooves. He must have dozed off earlier. She still seemed larger than life to him. But all that occupied his mind now was how parched he was. Still barely awake, he made an indignant noise somewhere between a groan and a whine. Luna moved him down to her swollen teats. Anon reached out with his hooves to steady himself as he suckled her nourishing milk.

_

Anon blinked awake and spat out the corner of the pillow he was gnawing on. He looked up at the knock at his bedroom door.

"It's time to get up! You need to get ready for the big day!" Luna said.

Anon rubbed his eyes with his hoof and shuffled over through the bedroom door. It closed behind him with a thud that echoed through the cathedral. He walked up to the altar and waited for the music to start. As it did, the doors in the back opened and Luna walked up the aisle, looking the most beautiful he had ever seen his marefriend in all their years together. Her wedding dress sashed behind her as she arrived at the altar.

"I must say, Luna, when you asked me to marry you, I was a bit shocked," Celestia said. Everypony in attendance laughed. "Now I see what you meant," she added, before presiding over the wedding between Luna and Anon.

~

That night, Anon's hooves gripped Luna's waist as he mounted her to consummate their marriage. His stallion hood was gifted in both length and girth, pleasing his beloved mare like nopony else possibly could. He thrusted hard, and he thrusted deep, timing his practiced rhythm in just the right way that he knew she loved. Her wetness splashed against his heavy balls as she came not once, but repeatedly from her lover's superlative stamina and endurance.

But tonight, it was not just about her, and her pleasure. Tonight they were rutting for the sole purpose of procreation. Luna rolled over in their bed and he lifted her butt up onto a foam, wedge pillow. His hooves pinned back her legs into a breeding press as he felt his climax coming. He pushed one last time as hard and as deep as he could as the tip of his stallion cock flared wide against her cervix. His shaft throbbed and pulsed, pumping load after load of his virile seed, to be planted as deeply as it could into his mare, to fill her to the brim with what would surely be a veritable litter of foals.

And to be sure, it would not be for the last time.

_

The dutiful consort to the princess blessed her with many, many heirs. Most of them even had foals of their own. It made his room quite crowded when they all came to visit him. Anon's beloved wife, Luna, looking as young and radiant as the day they met, sat by his bedside, holding his brittle, wrinkled hoof. His foals, grandfoals, and great grandfoals all looked at him with sad eyes. Anon looked back with blurred vision as tears of joy filled his eye. His smile, now toothless, was still filled with just as much warmth as he remembered the many long, happy years of his rich life. One by one they came and went until only Luna remained.

"What do you say?" she asked him. "Up for one last ride?"

She didn't have to ask. The answer was yes. It had always been yes. Though she had to be on top now, and take care to spare his hips.

"Luna, I- I can't breathe!" Anon gasped. But not from pleasure. It looked like his drinking had finally caught up to him. "Are my eyes yellow?" he asked. She sat on his chest to look. She felt like she weighed as much as an elephant. The bed frame under him broke in half. He could barely speak as she looked into his eyes.

"No, they're clear!" she yelled in his face as she poked him hard in the chest with the tips of her hooves, shocking him like static electricity.

"That hurt!" Anon cried. His eyes went wide as Luna grabbed a knife and stabbed him in the chest.

"CLEAR!"

"FUCK!" Anon's screamed as his entire body bucked and he lurched upright in his bed. His old bed. The one that was outside in the yard. There were a couple ponies standing around him. Closest to him was Nurse Redheart, still holding a pair of defibrillator panels, looking at him like she was seeing a ghost. The other was Princess Twilight.

Anon looked down at himself. He noticed two things. Firstly was the adrenaline needle still lodged in his chest. And secondly, he was butt naked in his bed, the frame of which was broken in half. And he was covered in, what he hoped was his own, cum, and a whole lot of other fluid that couldn't be just his own sweat. He was still hyperventilating from the shot.

"The fuck happened!?" he asked.

"I should ask you the same thing!" Twilight said. Anon shrugged. "I woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare about you being in trouble and needing help. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to rush over here. You're lucky Nurse Redheart was here!"

"I had a nightmare too!" Redheart said, pulling the needle out of Anon's chest and bandaging the puncture. "Before I even realized I was awake, I was sprinting over here across town with my crash cart!"

They all looked over at the noise of the changeling tapping on the glass window inside his house. Twilight walked over and opened the front door. "Was this your doing!?"

"No!" Chrysalis defended. "I saw the whole thing! Anon got up in the middle of the night and started running around in the house like a lunatic! When I realized he was sleepwalking, I tried to help him, but he ran outside to the old bed and laid down. I was trapped in here, and I couldn't help him as he started disrobing and... I don't know what he was doing! Thrashing? It looked like he was wrestling a bear in his sleep, and then... well, he made a mess of himself and broke the bed."

"I'm so dehydrated..." Anon wheezed. "Twi... grab me something to drink out of my fridge..."

Twilight walked into the house. The rattle of glass bottles in the fridge was followed by a disapproving huff. "Dammit, Anon! Do you have anything that isn't alcoholic!?"

"Just grab something..." he groaned.

"Ah ha!" Twilight walked back with an empty bottle. "I should have realized what this was when you were drinking it last night!" The label said Applezzz. She pointed at the list of ingredients on the back of it with her hoof. "Here, look!"

Anon squinted at the print. "Uh... water, apple juice, alcohol, uh, I can't pronounce that one, and..."

"Ketamine!" Twilight shouted.

Anon blinked at her. "So...?"

Redheart's hoof smacked him upside the head. "Ket is for horses, you dumb motherfucker!"

Author's Note

178347

13. Aloe & Lotus

"Where do you think you're going?" Princess Twilight Sparkle asked Anon as he packed his travel bag in his bedroom. It was little more than a backpack with the few clean clothes that he owned.

"I'm going to Silver Shoals," Anon told her. "I need to see a horse about a... princess. Er, you know what I mean. I need to go talk to Princess Luna."

"You are in no condition to travel," Nurse Redheart said.

"I'm fine," he assured her.

"Your heart stopped. You died!" Twilight said.

"Yeah, but I got better," he said. "Listen, I need you to tell Aloe and Lotus that I'll be out today for a day-trip, but I should be back by this evening. Just tell them the doctor needed to make a house call."

"Cute." Nurse Redheart stood in the doorway. "I can't keep you from leaving, but I can only tell you that this is very ill-advised."

"Pfft, story of my life," Anon muttered as he shuffled past her.

The three of them walked out through the kitchen. "Are you leaving already?" Chrysalis asked. "I just finished making your favorite breakfast, green eggs and jam!"

"Oh, baby!" Anon cooed.

"Anon! Don't eat that!" Twilight shrieked.

"Anon, don't eat that," Anon mocked. "Anon don't drink that. Anon don't do ketamine. Geez, you two are worse than my mother!"

"I thought I was your mommy now," Chrysalis said with a sly grin.

"Settle down, Chryssi," Anon said. He shoved both Twilight and Redheart outside. "Can we... get a minute?" He closed the door. "Now where were we?" he asked as he sat at the breakfast table. She put a plate in front of him. He grabbed a fork and dug in. "Mhmm! I love these eggs!"

"I can tell," Chrysalis purred, basking in his adoration. She smiled as she watched him eat.

"Are you not having breakfast?" he asked. She licked her lips and slinked under the breakfast table. He felt her tug at his boxers. "Hehe, okay I see where you're going with this." Even with Anon chewing with his mouth open, she started slurping even louder than he was. "F-fuck! It's like you've been starving all night!" he gasped.

Anon focused his breathing and tried to continue to eat breakfast, despite the changeling sucking his dick like it was her only source of oxygen. "I don't know why Twilight was bitching about these eggs. They're delicious! How are you getting them? I mean, I know you can't leave the house. Are they being delivered?"

Not one to talk with her mouth full, Anon felt his dick get cold in the air as she popped it out of her mouth. "Eh, after a fashion."

Any further questions Anon might have had vanished as she swallowed the significant length of his dick down her throat. "I, ah, I guess we're both getting our- ugh, our protein for breakfast," he quipped, holding onto the edge of the table. "F-fuck! What is that you're doing with your tongue!? I- neeg nuh gnuh brl!" Anon's words were as scrambled as his breakfast as his dick started to throb and pulse in her mouth. She just deep-throated him harder, pressing her nose against his belly and her tongue playing with his balls, coaxing every last bit they had. She relented mercifully once he finished and she re-emerged from the other end of the table.

She put her hoof over her mouth to suppress a burp. "Pardon me."

Anon pulled up his shorts and finished his breakfast. "Really though are you not eating anything else?" he asked.

She rubbed her belly with a grin. "Yes. That was really quite satisfying."

"You're telling me," Anon wheezed and tapped his plate with his fork. "Still though, gotta make sure I'm eating right. Are you going to have more delivered while I'm out?"

"Oh yesss," she said with a slight hiss, strutting around to his side of the table. She slid her hooves around him from behind, rubbing them down along his chest, across his belly, to his crotch. "You keep feeding me this well, and I'll have all the eggs delivered that you can manage!"

"Nothing ominous to read into there!" he said, getting up to go. She met him at the door and leaned in to kiss him. He leaned away. "Ehhh..."

She scoffed, "Oh please! I had no problem kissing you after you had your face buried in my snatch all night."

"Ugh, that's fair, I guess." He pursed his lips to kiss her farewell and she practically swallowed half his face. Her tongue slithered into his mouth but didn't stop there. He gagged and pushed her away. "Aghk! How did my stomach taste!?"

She smirked. "Hmm, maybe I'll try that with your dick next time. Slurp out your sperms one at a time like an ant-eater."

Anon recoiled and crossed his legs. "What the fuck is wrong with you!? Is that your idea of sexy talk?"

She held out his bag for him. "Be safe. Come home to mommy!"

"By the way, can you please tone down the 'mommy' roleplay?" he asked.

"Don't pretend that you don't like it," she whispered. "I can sense your feelings."

Anon blushed. "Okay, just... at least not when there's guests, okay?"

"As you wish."

Twilight Sparkle's eyes glowed along with her horn as she lofted into the air. Her magic lowered the moon to make way for the dawn. Anon walked out his front door to the blinding light rising behind her silhouette. Once the sun was set on its course across the sky, she drifted back down to the ground. She blinked away the glow in her eyes and focused her gaze on him. "That was a lot more than a minute," she scolded.

"You didn't have to wait here," Anon said. "Besides, I thought you were going to tell Aloe and Lotus I wasn't going to be there today. My shift is supposed to start-" the Ponyville clock tower chimed the hour, "... now."

"You can tell them yourself," Twilight said with a huff. "Besides, the spa is on the way to the train station anyway."

"Great..." Anon groaned. He was not looking forward to this conversation.

The line outside the spa was filled with mares shuffling anxiously, rubbing their hind legs together as they waited their turn. A particularly desperate pegasus flew at him. "Touch me. Touch me!" A couple of the unicorns in line grabbed her with their magic.

"Wait in line like everypony else," they said.

Anon walked inside the spa. Business looked to have already been in open for some time. The smell of sex was heavy in the air. It was clear that estrus season was in full swing, and any semblance of modesty had been abandoned. Several of the chairs in the waiting lounge hade been replaced with vibrating sybians.

A hastily-scrawled sign asked patrons to 'please use hose to rinse down the equipment after use'. One enterprising mare has the hose stuffed in her pussy, getting the cool water to the source of her heat, letting it idly gush out around the hose to the floor drain. It hardly mattered. Mares never had the chance to clean things as the next mare was much too eager to take their seat as soon as it was vacant.

A familiar mint-green unicorn writhed and shifted on her sybian in frustration. She looked at Anon walking in and her eyes lit up. She leaped of her seat and rushed over to him. "Hands!" Lyra squealed. "Do my horn! Do-it-do-it-do-it!" Anon panicked and started jerking off her horn like he has for so many other unicorns now. Lyra had been on the edge for so long that her moan quickly reached a fever pitch. Her horn spurted in a shower of electric sparks. Her hind legs quivered and gave out as she made a sticky mess of her tail. Her tongue lolled out and her eyes could barely focus on him. "Ahh yeah, that's the stuff!"

"A pleasure to be of service, ma'am," Anon said, trying to shake the feeling of pins and needles out of his wrist. He walked across the main foyer of the spa. Both Aloe and Lotus were busy at massage tables. Aloe was huffing and puffing, thrusting away on her client with a strap-on. Meanwhile, Lotus strained holding the pneumatic dildo in her client. It sounded like a construction site.

Aloe backed off to catch her breath and the wet strap-on bobbed under her. She put her hoof under one of the lube dispensers and slathered on a copious amount. With a bit of effort, most of her foreleg slipped into her client and she started thrusting away again. 'Hoofing', as it was called, and it was suddenly all the rage among the mares. Not that their partners got anything out of it besides a workout.

Aloe looked up from her work at him. "Anon! Oh, thank goodness! I don't know how you do this all day!" With her free hoof she wiped her sweat from her forehead.

"The crowd was restless," Lotus shouted over her mechanized fuck-machine, "We had to open early to prevent a riot!" The mare in front of her finally sprayed in satisfaction. Lotus turned off the machine and laid it down on the floor, giving the mare a couple minutes to recover. "Thank goodness for your, eh, tools of the trade. But now you're here at last!"

"Actually, I can't stay," Anon said. "I came by to let you know that I have to go to Silver Shoals today." Several angry murmurs rose up from the waiting area.

"He's joking!" Lotus said. She grabbed him by his shirt collar. "You're joking, right!? We've been at this for barely ninety minutes and we're already exhausted!"

"I can't do this all day either!" Anon said. "I'm not well. I died last night!"

"What!?"

"It- it's a long story! But I need to go to Silver Shoals. I'm on my way to the train station now," he said. "I'll come back as soon as I can."

"Silver Shoals?" Lotus did some quick math. "But- but you'd be gone until tomorrow!" Anon nodded at his travel bag. "I don't know if the spa will survive that long. Or Ponyville!" She looked over at Aloe, sweating and thrusting her foreleg, looking at him with desperate, pleading eyes. "Anon... I don't know if we will survive."

"Can't you contract some of the other studs?" Anon asked. "Town Hall was full of them when I was over there for my permit."

"Mares don't want quick-timers anymore," Aloe said. "You've spoiled them."

"Quick-timers?" Anon asked.

"This is the term mares have given other stallions," Lotus said.

"Well get them in here anyway. Tell the mares it's that or nothing for now," Anon said.

"Mare don't want to pay quick-timer rates. And the studs won't work for free."

"Oh, for the love of-" Anon grabbed his bits pouch. "Here. This is everything I have on me. Pay the studs per-diem. See how far that gets you."

Lotus felt the weight of the pouch. "Not enough for how many stallions we'll need. Not for the whole time you'd be gone."

"I'll take him," Princess Twilight said, walking into the spa. "I'll teleport him there and get him back as fast as possible."

Lotus ran to the phone to make several calls. "Please hurry..." Aloe whimpered.

Anon followed Twilight back outside. The mob grew visibly restless. "He will be right back!" Twilight assured them.

"What's all this now?" he asked. "Weren't you just saying earlier that I was in no condition to travel?"

"You're not. But you're right. You're not in any condition to take on..." she looked at the crowd of horny mares. "All this. I don't want you dying, but now I'm just worried about my town! Now hold your breath."

"Why do I need to-" They vanished in a flash, and reappeared an instant later, very far away. "GAH!" Anon fell to the ground, gasping and panting.

"I told you to hold your breath! Now come on!" she scolded. Anon stood back up and held a deep breath. They vanished again.

A series of jumps later and his feet were in the sand of a beach. "You can breathe now." Anon breathed. The smell of the fresh air filled his nostrils, carried in on the cool sea breeze. He could taste the salty spray on his tongue. The triangular shapes of sails dotted the water to the horizon. The caws of gulls punctuated the soothing sound of the surf lapping at the shore.

"Come on," Twilight urged. "We can't stay long." She led him inland to the Silver Shoals retirement resort. Rings of dwelling structures surrounded various courtyards. A common of grass, a patio for events and outdoor dining, and even a massive pool. It was still very early in the morning. As such, most of the residents were still asleep. The pool was empty, save for one pony laying on her back in a recumbent float. "Princess Celestia?"

"How many times must I tell you, Princess Twilight?" Celestia asked as she took off her sunglasses. "It's just Celestia now."

"At least one more time, Princess."

Celestia's eyes shifted over to Twilight's companion. "Ah, Anon. Who would have guessed that we would be seeing each other so soon after our last encounter?" Anon felt his throat get dry. She followed his eyes down along her body. She uncrossed her hind legs, showing off her bikini bottom, a necessity as her glamor would not work in the water.

"Do you like?" Celestia slid out of her chair float into the water. Her wings swept through the water in slow, powerful strokes and she drifted over to the stairs leading out of the pool. As she walked up out of the pool, the droplets of water sparkled and shimmered in the sunlight, refracting into all the colors of the rainbow. Even with her mane wet, hanging limp against her frame, she was every bit the vision of beauty divine.

She walked over to Anon, stopping at a distance that was arguably intimate, without being uncomfortably so. It let her speak quietly. "Now then... What brings you here?" she asked in a tone that was equal parts maternal concern, and smoldering sultry. "Have you come to retire as my suitor? It's only been a few days. If you've managed to already sate all the heat of Equestria, then you would be even more divine than myself!"

"I uh... I actually need to talk to Luna," Anon said.

"Oh," Celestia's demeanor was marginally less jovial, but no less coy. "Is this a... professional matter?"

"I- I don't know yet," he said, wavering a bit on his feet.

Celestia looked at him more closely. "Are you alright? You seem unwell."

"I... have had... a rough night,"

"He died!" Twilight said.

"Don't be dramatic!" Anon said.

"He overdosed on Ket! His heart stopped!"

"I got better!" Anon added.

"If only just barely," Celestia put her hoof to his cheek. "Oh, look at you! You're in need of urgent care!"

"I need a vacation," Anon said. "But as everypony keeps reminding me, the fate of Equestria rests on my shoulders."

"Now who's being dramatic?" Twilight said.

"Twilight, I know you're a busy mare these days," Celestia said. "Why don't you go ahead and run along now. I'll get Anon home for you."

"But you just said-"

"I'll whip up something that'll get Anon back into the fight. Don't worry."

"I can make a healing potion too, you know."

"You're good, Twilight. Real good," Celestia said before leaning in with a smile. "But as long as I'm around you'll only ever be second best."

"You better not let Luna hear that."

"Speaking of," Anon cut in.

"Yes, yes, my sister is just down the row, that way," Celestia directed. "Go... speak with her, and I'll see you afterwards. And as for you, Twilight, I imagine you still have a nation to run?"

Twilight took a calming breath. "Yes. Anon, get well. Then get back to Ponyville as soon as possible!"

"By your order, Princess."

Twilight vanished in a flash.

"That way, Anon. You can't miss it."

The condo was unremarkable. The blinds were still drawn shut. Like everypony else's door, hers had her cutie mark on it. A blotch black as night with a crescent moon. The rest of the door was painted midnight blue, and bedazzled with twinkling rhinestones. A bold, yellow placard stood out.

Disturb At Thine Peril

He knocked.
There was no reply.
He knocked again.
Nothing.

Bracing himself, he opened the door. A sliver of daylight cut through the dank interior, landing across the mare hunched on the floor staring at a tv screen, deaf to the world in her headphones. The intrusion of light startled her and the screen flashed with 'Game Over'.

"We're off our shift, Tia!" Luna yelled, turning to throw her controller. Her pupils shrank in the sunlight, looking at his bipedal silhouette. "Anon!? What are you doing here? What do you want!?"

"I-"

"UGH! Shut the door!" she shouted as she turned the tv off.

"Sorry to disturb you but... I need to talk to you," he said.

Luna got up from where she was sitting on the floor and shuffled into her kitchenette, draped in a plain bathrobe. She poured herself a cup of coffee, long since gone cold. Her mane was unlike in the dream. It more resembled bedraggled bed hair. She sipped her coffee and her grouchy expression softened when she looked at him again. "You look well. For a corpse."

"Okay, so yeah, about that, what was all that?" Luna held her cup and stared at him, patiently. "What? Didn't you hear me?"

Luna licked her lips and spoke slowly, "We believe the words thou art searching for are, 'thank you'."

"Thank you?"

"Thou art welcome."

"Wait, thank you for what?"

"For saving thine life!" Luna said. "For alerting Princess Twilight and Nurse Redheart to thine plight!"

"Okay, yes, thank you for that."

"Thou art still welcome," she said. "Was that all?"

Anon had been telling everypony that he was fine. Despite the overdose. Despite his heart stopping. Despite dying. Despite everything. Anon told everypony he was fine. Anon was lying.

"Luna, I- I dreamed I was old!" he said. "It feels like a lifetime ago, but I remember it! You- we, we were together for so long! I was born again. I remember being born! I was a pony! And you were my mother! And my lover, and my wife! We had foals!"

Luna nodded. "We are everypony in our dreams. We; thou and I. Thou were my foal, as we were thine."

"We- our foals, Luna!" Anon cried. "I remember their names. I remember their faces! I can remember when little Ragweed broke his leg on Hearth's Warming Night! Saffron's wedding! Our grandfoals!"

Luna just nodded.

"I have all these memories with you and..." Anon looked down at his hands as tears dripped into his palms, remembering so vividly when they were hooves, "... and none of them were real!"

"That is... correct," she said. "We dreamed a lifetime with you."

"Why?" Anon asked, looking back up at her. "Why do this?"

"This is how we court," Luna said. "At first we were drawn in by the distress of thine dream. But we must confess that we were quite taken by thee, suitor to thy sister. We could not bear taking and losing a lover in the waking realm. So we have a lifetime in the dream. Though nopony we share a life with in this way remembers it. Until now."

"Do you remember?" Anon asked.

Luna nodded. "We have lived tens of thousands of lifetimes in the dream." She sipped her coffee. "And we remember."

"How do you... live with it?" he asked.

"The details fade with time. Like a song. In time, thou forgets the words, but remembers the melody. But if thou tries hard enough, the words return. Like a half-remembered dream. We don't have perfect recall of every dream. But if we remember any one of them hard enough..." she trailed off. "Now memories are blurred, and their faces are obscured, but we still know the words to this song."

"What about me?" he asked.

She looked at him from behind her coffee mug. "Thou shalt remember thine dream life, if thou chooses to. Thou shalt forget just the same."

"It feels wrong to forget them, even if they weren't real."

Luna put her hoof on his shoulder. "Thou needn't forget. Only remember that this life goes on. We are all characters and memories in the dreams and lives of others. No more genuine or fictitious than a life in a dream. Remember thine dream life if thou chooses. Cherish it. Mourn it, if thou must. But thou mustn't dwell in the past. Take it from us."

"But Luna, I loved you! I still-"

She put her hoof to his lips. "We know. But it's not the same. We are not the same mare from thy dreams. And we have no shortage of ponies pining for us. Thou understands this?"

Anon frowned.

Her hoof moved down along his chest and abdomen. "We shall have to visit thine dreams again, soon." Her hoof grazed the hem of his shorts briefly before she pulled it away. "But in the waking realm, we are nopony's mare." Luna continued with a smile. "If it is of any comfort, we shall remember our life with thee very fondly. Thou art a supremely adept lover. We can see why she likes thee."

"Who?" Anon asked. The ground trembled, causing the dishes and silverware in the kitchenette to rattle.

Luna rolled her eyes. "We suppose that means our time is up. Fly along now. Thine adoring mares await thee." Luna opened the door.

Anon stepped outside. "Wait, so if you're nopony's mare, and you only do that stuff in dreams, does that mean you're still a virgin?"

Luna balked, "W-WHAT! Who told you that!? Was it Tia!? 'TIS A LIE!" she slammed the door shut.

"Oh... that is cute." Anon suspected that it would not be his last time seeing her.

~

Anon walked down the pathway to the next condo with the sun cutie mark and knocked on it.

"I'm out back," he heard Celestia's voice say. He walked around the house to the enclosed porch. Inside was a bubbling hot tub, and Celestia relaxing in it. She waved at him with her hoof to join him.

"I- I'd love to but I'm kinda on a time crunch," he said.

"Come now," Celestia beckoned, "You've no idea how rejuvenating a nice bath can be."

Anon looked around nervously. "Is your blind staff going to come out of the woodwork and wash me?" he asked.

Celestia chuckled. "No, no. You've already been initiated. You're free to be taken at my pleasure."

"Uh..."

"With your consent, of course."

"Right."

Celestia's hoof splashed the water beside herself. "You won't be needing those." With a flash of her magic, his shorts teleported off his body, folded neatly on the deck beside him. He shrugged. It was nothing she hadn't seen before. He waded into the tub next to her. "Now then..." Her hoof dipped below the foam of the water surface, and reemerged a moment later holding her bikini bottom.

"Tia, I really don't have time to ascend to a higher plane-"

She hushed him as she shifted over to straddle him in the tub, keeping her lower half occluded beneath the bubbles. Whether it was the warm water, the feeling of her against him, or just her, he was hard. "Ooh, you poor thing. Did my sister leave you in the lurch? So rude."

"T-Tia!" Anon stammered as she guided him inside her. She settled into place on his lap, the both of them just enjoying the feeling of his full length inside her. She was even hotter inside than the hot tub water.

"I've got something for you," she said, levitating over a half-filled pint glass. "An elixir I made just for you." She held it in front of him. He looked at it. It was mostly clear, if slightly cloudy.

"What is it? Your bath water?" he asked.

"You say that like you wouldn't still drink it." At first he thought it was the smell of her in the water. But bringing it closer he could tell it was definitely the drink. "Recognize it?" she asked.

How could he not? It was unmistakable. He had practically drowned in it the last time he was with her. "You made this? Just now?"

She nodded. "I was thinking of you the whole time." He swirled it in the glass. "It's not much, but it was all I could manage without your..." She rocked her hips in place, feeling him inside her, "... help."

"... You made this while thinking of me shtupping your sister?"

"Don't kink-shame me!" Celestia said. "Now, cheers to your health!"

"Salud." Anon brought the glass to his lips and drank up. Dying had a hell of a hangover. The low-lever pervasive headache he had, the body aches, and the nausea. The latent magic in Celestia's love juice spread throughout his body. The fog of his hangover lifted. His whole body thrummed with renew vigor. Even his dick throbbed just a bit harder inside her, much to her delight.

"Ah, yes," Celestia cooed. "Even better than new!"

Anon's eyes were bright and his every sense was alert. "Shit, I feel ready to run a marathon!"

"Perfect!" Celestia said. "You're ready."

"Hell yeah, I am!" Anon grabbed her hips. She put her hooves on his hands.

"Tempting as it is," she said, feeling her pussy quiver around him, "And I assure you, it IS... For the sake of Equestria, I'll have to take a rain check." She wrapped her hooves around him in a hug and whispered into his ear. "You owe me one."

In a flash of her magic he vanished.

... And reappeared in the Ponyville Spa. Butt naked, dripping wet, and hard enough to bludgeon a woodland critter to death with his erection. He looked around the spa at all the mares stopping and staring at him. The entire spa was a scene from Revelations with mares and stallions in all states of debauchery.

"Meester Anon!" Lotus greeted in relieved glee.

Anon rolled up his sleeves. "Alright, let's do this!" Another flash of magic had his bag of clothes fell on his head. He put on his shorts and tossed the rest of his bag into his locker. "Alright, NOW let's do this!" He grabbed the two massage tables that Aloe and Lotus had been using. "Alright ladies, take a break, and tell these other stallions to take a hike. Anon is back in business!" He pointed at the two tables. "Next two mares, right here! Two at a time!"

Anon's magic touch started clearing the line of mares in half the time while Aloe and Lotus kept busy handling the transactions and attempting to keep up with the floor mopping. Though the latter was something of a losing battle. When they had the opportunity, they tried to do their part, servicing some of the waiting mares with any number of the toys at their disposal. And sometimes just their hooves. But their paltry efforts paled in comparison to the results the super-charged human was producing.

~

"Ooh, ooh ohh!" the last mare of the day whimpered as she came again on Anon's arm. Her gushing had slowed to a dribble and then finally stopped. "N-no more! I'm too sensitive!" she begged. Anon gently slid his arm out of her. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that feeling!" He let her catch her breath while he washed up in the sink. He helped her climb down off the massage table to walk to the door. "S-sorry about the mess," she apologized.

"It's quite alright," Anon assured her. "I'm just glad you enjoyed yourself."

"Oh yeah!" she said in a guttural tone, still feeling the aftershocks of being so thoroughly satisfied. "I'll be back here next year for sure!"

"Well, I'll be here," Anon said, waving goodbye. The town clock chimed five times. He closed the door and locked it.

Walking back through the lobby, Aloe was wiping a bench with a rag with her eyes closed. Lotus was leaning on her mop, half asleep as she worked.

"Hey, ladies, I got this. You both worked really hard today," he said. He scooped up Aloe in his arms and set her on the clean massage table. He wiped down the other one and picked up Lotus to do the same.

"We don't know how you do it, Meester Anon," Lotus said with half-lidded eyes.

"Please don't leave us again. We don't have the strength for this," Aloe moaned, rubbing her shoulder with her hoof.

"I know ladies. I'm sorry. But it was really important to me." He looked at them. They looked back at him with sympathetic eyes. He caressed their chins in his hands. "But then so too are you two."

Lotus whimpered and pressed her cheek into his palm. "We tried so hard. We've been trying so hard. But it's not easy you know. Seeing you giving attention to all these mares every day, and having none left for us. Even after we take care of you..."

"What do you mean?"

"Anon, our estrus needs tending, too!" Aloe said.

Lotus motioned to the bin of sex toys. "And none of these gadgets or gimmicks will do."

Anon's heart fell. "Oh, ladies, I'm so sorry! Why didn't you say so?"

"We can't afford you," Aloe said. "We have a business to run, and everything we earn goes back into it. We take home very little-"

Anon hushed her. "No more talk of money," he said. "I've made back more than what I gave you this morning. Tonight, I'm treating you." Lotus's eyes glistened. She looked so happy she could cry. "Now tell me, ladies, where does it hurt?" Both of their tails lifted in synchronized flagging. Anon smiled. They watched Anon walk around to the other end of the tables, pushing them together as he went. "Okay, who's first?" They both let out a desperate moan in perfect harmony, their pussy winking in synchronization. "Heh. Say no more."

He gently, but firmly, cupped both of their vulva's with his hands. The heat of a pony's pussy in his palm was nothing new, but it was still surprising just how hot it could feel. "Oh, you poor girls are burning up back here!" They laid their heads on their pillows, facing each other and held hooves. He rubbed his hands up and down against the exterior before sliding his middle finger in between their folds.

Their posed, professional demeanor melted away along with their restraint. He felt his hands getting wet in seconds and he hastened his movement with the copious lubrication provided. He pushed his thumbs inside their pussies and teased their clits with the tips of his fingers. Their tails curled together in a swirl of blue and pink as he got a small squeeze and a fresh gush of wetness. "Already?" he asked, not needing an answer to the obvious. It would only be the first of many. He made sure the rest of his hand was thoroughly wet. "I hate to break your hearts, but this next part I'm going to have to do one at a time."

"Her first," Aloe insisted.

Lotus blushed harder and rolled onto her back, splaying her legs. "You always spoil me."

Anon reassured her, "Don't worry, Lotus. Aloe won't have to wait long." He started with his fingers together in a tight cone, working them into Lotus slowly, stretching her pussy, and letting her get used to them gradually.

Aloe shifted to turn around on her table. "I've never gotten to see you work up close! I was always too busy or you were in your suite."

"But she's your-" Anon tried to object, but it was far from the strangest thing he'd done even just today. "I mean, you'll find out soon enough." Aloe ignored him and continued to watch in fascination as Anon added his thumb to his fingers, steadily working them all inside her sister's stretched pussy.

"You are pink inside, like my fur," Aloe said.

"Yeah, well, I don't think you're blue inside like hers," Anon said. "Everypony is pink inside." Anon eased forward to the widest part of his hand. "Okay, Lotus, deep breath. And..." Anon's hand slipped inside and her pussy closed around his wrist.

"His hand is inside you!" Aloe squealed. Anon started making small movements to work more of his arm deeper inside her. "I can see him moving inside you!" Aloe watched the bulge move deeper into her abdomen. She put her hoof to Lotus's belly. "I can feel him inside you! Moving like you are with foal!" Lotus moaned and trembled at her touch. Her legs quivered and her pussy squeezed Anon's arm, spurting fresh juices out around him. "You are so beautiful! Feel!" Aloe took Lotus's hoof and held it to her belly, feeling Anon's arm pumping inside her. "How does it feel?"

Lotus cooed, "Oooh, it's simply luxurious!" She tried to move her legs, but she had very little range of movement with his arm stuffed in her pelvis. "You simply must try it!"

Aloe had every intention to, climbing over top of Lotus and presenting herself to Anon. He started to pull his arm out of Lotus, but she cried out in objection, "Please don't stop!"

Anon stretched and rolled his shoulder in his other arm, putting his free hand to work on Aloe's insistent pussy. As he had with Lotus, he worked his fingers inside first, and then his thumb, getting his hand thoroughly wet before moving to the widest part of his hand.

Without being able to see what was going on, Lotus could sense what was happening to Aloe. "Deep breath," she coached. Anon waited for Aloe to be ready and pushed just a bit more, slipping the rest of his hand into the twin mare.

"So much!" Aloe moaned.

"I know," Lotus agreed.

"Keep going."

As before, Anon made small movements to get his arm progressively deeper. Aloe made little whimpering noises, but voiced no call to stop. A pair of blue hooves wrapped around her as Lotus pulled her into a hug. "Feel!" Aloe moaned, pressing her belly against the other mare. Lotus could feel Anon moving inside her sister, just like her. The position put Anon at an awkward angle, forced to have his forearms so close together while trying to work, but it seemed to please them. Aloe quivered and trembled around his arm. If Lotus was bothered by, or even noticed her sister dripping all over her, she didn't say so.

Anon moved his arms like pistons, back and forth in an alternating pattern, making wet, squelching noises. They moaned into each other's ears and hugged tighter each time the bulges in their bellies bumped past. "Our foals are dancing together!" Lotus cried. The sound of twin mares moaning together in harmonized euphoria was a memory that Anon would not mind living rent-free in his mind forever.

The three of them waited, motionless while they all to catch their breath.

"Anon," Lotus said, "I've never had a stallion. Not really."

"Neither have I," Aloe added.

"Neither have I," Anon said. They both looked at him. "Sorry, I was just trying to fit in."

"You've had no problem fitting in," Lotus said, looking down to where he was still up to his elbows inside them.

"But we need the real thing to douse our flames," Aloe said.

"And this year we don't want it from a jar."

"We want it from the source!"

Anon nodded. "A pleasure to oblige." He slid his arms out of them and stepped out of his shorts, letting his erection spring free. The twins climbed off the table and patted it, motioning for him to get on.

"On your back," Lotus directed.

"As you wish." Anon laid back on the massage table and Lotus got on top of him, straddling his hips. She was plenty wet and ready. Even so, Aloe intercepted his dick, licking and sucking it until it was equally wet. She held it in place and aimed it while Lotus lowered herself down onto it. And then Aloe joined her on top of the table, with her knees on either side of Anon's head. She lowered herself down to his face until his whole world was just her marehood filling his vision.

"Kiss me!" Aloe said. Anon did as he was asked and more. He kissed, licked and sucked her pussy in all the right ways while Lotus started to slide up and down on his shaft. Anon couldn't see a thing, but from the sounds of it, they must have had their hooves covering their mouths to muffle their moans.

Aloe gyrated her hips, using every contour of his face for her pleasure, and giving him just enough opportunities to catch a breath. Lotus moved more mechanically, but enjoyed it just as much, if the warmth dripping down his balls was any indication.

After they each got a chance (or three) to enjoy their rides, Aloe got up of his face, and Lotus followed suit, though a bit hesitant to abandon the feeling of his cock inside her. Just as soon as Lotus was off his dick, Aloe scrambled over to suck his dick again, licking his drenched shaft and balls. Lotus kissed Anon all over his face, lapping at him like a playful puppy.

Once they'd both had their fill of him, Aloe laid down on the massage table next to them and spread her legs. "Take me like this, Anon, quench my heat!"

Anon stood up to go start on Aloe in the missionary position, but Lotus climbed on top of her, hovering her insistent pussy just above her sister's. "And mine too!" Lotus pleaded.

"But it's my turn," Aloe whined.

"Ladies, ladies, please!" Anon interjected, "There's enough for both of you to share. But Aloe's right. It's her turn now."

Aloe playfully stuck out her tongue at Lotus, but the smug look on her face was wiped off when she felt Anon's dick slide into her. "Oh my goodness!" she moaned as he started to fuck her. "It feels so- so-"

"I know," Lotus said, looking into her eyes. For a time, she was content to simply watch her getting fucked, trembling underneath her with each new climax. She could hear the whimpers of desperation before she realized they were coming from herself.

"Okay, okay," Anon said, hearing her whine. He pulled out of Aloe to give her a break and in a single smooth motion, he aimed slightly higher and plunged forward back into Lotus. The strength in her legs gave out and she laid belly-to-belly on top of her sister.

As before, Aloe could feel Anon moving in and out of Lotus, and she knew exactly how it felt. She could see it in her eyes until Lotus clenched them shut, shuddering and moaning as she came again. Each time one came he would switch back to the other.

"L-Lotus- Ladies, I-" Anon forced the words out without stopping, warning them of his own finish fast approaching.

"Yes, inside!" Lotus cried, wanting him to stay inside her. "Douse my flames!"

"Mine too!" Aloe cried desperately, waiting under her for her final turn.

"Shit, uh, ah, AH!" Anon grabbed Lotus's hips and slammed it home, spurting once, then again as Lotus squealed in glee. In a flash, Anon pulled out and with a shaking hand, tried to aim himself mid-orgasm, spraying Lotus's labia with his third, massive rope. He almost fell forward, with luck, sinking completely back inside Aloe to deliver the rest of his load to her wanton depths much to her audible delight.

Anon laid on top of Lotus, on top of Aloe, with him still balls-deep in her. The three of them panted in a pile, waiting to catch their breath. He lifted his face out of her matted, sweaty mane and looked at the spa clock. It was well after six. "I uh, I'm gonna need another shower," he said. He stood up slowly and took a step back, pulling out of Aloe at last. They didn't move from where they were, comfortable to lay where they are. A thick strand of man-jam ran between them, connecting their well-fucked, cream-stuffed pussies.

~

In the shower room, Anon leaned against the tile wall, letting the hot water run over him, washing away his sweat and heaven-knows-what else from his work day. Revitalizing as Celestia's 'elixir' was, the sheer exertion of the day was finally catching up to him.

He wondered if he had he even had lunch. He couldn't remember eating anything but pony pussy all day. He laughed despite himself. What a thing to complain about. But his stomach objected to his jest in the matter. He had seen to everypony else's needs. Now it was time for his own.

"Maybe Chryssi will make a quiche for dinner," Anon mused as he turned off the water and dried himself off. He dressed and walked back out into the spa. Aloe and Lotus hadn't moved from where they were laying, gently snoring together in a comfortable sleep. Anon grabbed a couple large towels from the rack and draped them over the sleeping ponies before he locked up the spa and walked home. They had more than earned a good rest. And so had he.

Author's Note

284410

14. Cadance

Anon opened the door of his house. "Honey, I'm home," he called out. He didn't have to go far. Chrysalis was waiting at the kitchen table.

"Anon!" she greeted. "You're home late. Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine, but what's all this?" he asked, motioning to the table. The table was covered with grid paper, loose notes, and books.

"It's Ogres & Oubliettes©, we started without you."

"We?"

The door opened behind Anon. "Hey, I'm back with- oh there you are!" Shining Armor greeted. "We were waiting for you. I thought you got off work at sunset."

"Yeah, usually," Anon said. "But why are you-"

"Hard day calls for a hard night, am I right?" Shining said, presenting the case of cider. He pulled a bottle out and gave it to Anon. "Don't worry. This isn't the kind that'll put you in a coma." Anon gave him a look. "Yeah I heard about that." Anon took the bottle from him. "Cheers!"

"Thanks... Cheers," Anon sat down at the table while Shining put the rest in the fridge.

Shining took a sip and sat down. "So I was today-years-old when I found out that the Ponyville liquor store has a royalty discount! I can't believe Twilie never told me about that! Hey, you're a Queen! Maybe you can get a discount too!" Chrysalis pursed her lips. "I mean, you know, if they ever let you out of here," he motioned to the house. He looked over at Anon. "So did you start on your character sheet?"

"He got here just before you did," Chrysalis said.

"Okay, here," Shining grabbed a character sheet and put it in front of Anon. "First pick your class, and race, and then you roll for stats-"

"So it's like Dungeons & Dragons," Anon said.

"Never heard of it."

"Dudes on a map, you fight dudes, roll dice to hit and deal damage, yadda yadda."

"Yeah, it's Ogres & Oubliettes©," Shining said.

"Lame."

"It's not lame. It's fun!"

"It's a game for nerds."

"It's a game for anypony," Shining insisted. "Look, I used to be the Captain of the Royal Guard, I'm married to the hottest princess in Equestria, and I have a daughter. So I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. But I can also play this and I'm not ashamed of enjoying it because I'm a well-rounded pony."

"And a nerd."

"Come on, Anon, just try it," Chrysalis said, batting her eyelashes at him. "For me?"

"That's fucking blackmail..." Anon snatched the blank character sheet. "Fine."

"Okay, so first pick your class," Shining said, opening the book to the character creation section. "You can pick from-"

"Yeah, I can read," Anon said, glossing over the class summaries. "Let me guess, you play as a knight?"

"Bard, actually," Shining said. Anon raised an eyebrow. "What? It gives a buff to charisma modifiers and I think they can be viable-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Anon said. "I'll roll with a sorcerer I guess. Magic seems like kind of a big deal around here." He flipped to the races section.

"Okay, so you'll have to play as a unicorn, unless you want to focus on alchemy then you could do zeb-"

"What about an alicorn?" Anon asked.

Shining scoffed. "Alicorn OCs are cringe."

"Yeah, Anon, even I know that," Chrysalis added.

"Fine. Whatever. Unicorn then."

"Okay, so roll for your stats next..."

"... as you cross the rope bridge the sky-blue dragon spits a fireball at you," Shining narrated.

"I get a dexterity save to dodge, right?" Anon asked

"Yes," Shining answered.

Anon rolled a nineteen. "Fuck yeah!"

"Okay, you make your save, so you make it across the rope bridge, but the bridge is destroyed and you take half damage."

"What? Why!? I dodged it!"

"The area of effect from the splash damage," Chrysalis said.

"So you take..." Shining rolled the dice.

"Oof," Chrysalis said. "Should have put more points into constitution."

"Or picked a defensive ward spell," Shining added.

"Or bought a better armor set at that village shop."

"Or not rushed ahead again."

"Well, I'm dead," Anon grumbled.

"Not yet. You need to make a death save. But don't worry, I can save you with my Heal Other spell," Shining said.

"You have to make physical contact though," Chrysalis said.

"I'll just have my bard fly across-"

"Wait, I thought you said alicorn OCs were cringe!" Anon said.

"They are cringe. I have a unicorn," Shining said.

"A unicorn that can fly?" Chrysalis asked. "Since when?"

"They updated the erata while you were... away," Shining said. "Starlight Glimmer wrote a strongly-worded letter to the publishers, so now unicorns can cast Levitate in fifth edition.

"That bitch ruins everything!" Chrysalis grumbled.

Shining ignored her, "Anyway after I heal you I can seduce the dragon and-"

"You can't seduce the dragon!" Chrysalis yelled.

"I have an eighteen charisma and I still have my +1d6 Inspiration. All I need to do is roll better than a four to seduce her!"

"Did you just assume the dragon's gender?" Chrysalis snapped.

"Oh, here we go..." Anon grumbled as he sipped his drink.

Shining tapped his sheet, "I rolled perception when we first got here and my character didn't see a dick so-"

"Dragons have a cloaca! Do you want me to show you?"

"Chrys-"

"The only way your character is going to know what the dragon has up there is if you see something stick out, or if you stick something in there to check."

"Or it's in her voice."

"All the dragon did was roar at you!"

"... but in like, a feminine way?" Shining said. Chrysalis huffed. "Look, I wrote the campaign, so I know for a fact that the dragon is female."

"But my point is that your character doesn't know that!"

"Then he's taking a chance!" Shining said. "Look, there's a fifty fifty shot the dragon is female, and even if the dragon was male, there's a like fifty percent chance the dragon is gay."

"That percentage seems high," Anon said.

"Trust me, I've met enough," Shining muttered.

Chrysalis grinned. "This is about Dragon Lord Ember, isn't it? You still want to fuck her."

"What? N-no!"

"Fine, but you gotta flip a coin to determine the dragon's gender and sexuality!"

"Fine."

"You really want to risk it?" Anon said, holding up the plastic figurine that was a good deal larger than their characters. "I mean if this is to scale "he" would split you in half like a piece of timber."

Shining grabbed his bits pouch to fish out a coin. "If it's a gay male dragon, I'll flip a coin to see if he's a strict top."

"Well this quest got weird in a hurry," Anon said.

"Actually this is pretty typical from what I remember," Chrysalis said.

Before Shining could start flipping coins, there was a knock at the door. "Oh, that must be the food I ordered."

Anon got up from his seat and opened the door. The delivery pony had a large, flat box labeled- "Peetzer? The fuck?"

The delivery pony looked up at him from under the brim of her uniform cap. "Did somepony order an extra large sausage?"

Shining looked around Anon. "Cadie!? What are you doing here? Where's Flurry?"

"I assume Flurry is in her palace room, wearing too muck black eyeliner and listening to that atrocious noise she calls music," Cadance said.

"And why are you wearing that delivery pony uniform?" he asked.

"Somepony told me you were doing roleplay night here," Princess Cadance said.

"Dammit Twilie..." Shining muttered. "Okay, for one, not that kind of roleplay! And secondly, even if we were doing that, I would be the one delivering the extra large sausage!"

Cadance giggled. "Oh! I get it now. That makes way more sense!"

"There better be a pizza in there," Anon grumbled.

Cadance opened the box. "It's pineapple pizza."

"I have an opinion about this..."

"It was this or banana pizza."

"And that opinion is... I love pineapple pizza!"

Cadance looked at him. "You must be Anon. I've heard a lot about you."

"Let me guess, my appearance is exactly the way you imagined?"

"Not at all," Cadance said, eyeing him up. "I was expecting somepony less... bipedal. The stories about you have reached all the way to the Crystal Empire! But the details didn't focus on the length of your... legs."

"Hmf, I bet." Anon took the pizza and walked back into the kitchen. Cadance followed him inside and met eyes with Chrysalis, who was trying to make herself as small as possible.

"Chrysalis."

"Cadenza."

"You remember what I told you would happen if I ever saw you again?"

Chrysalis nodded. Cadance brought her hoof back and punched the former queen square in the mouth, knocking her out of her seat.

"Hey!" Anon tried to intervene.

Chrysalis waved him away. "No... I deserved that." She rubbed her jaw with her hoof.

"I brought a pizza," Cadance said. "It was the least you could have done while I was trapped in that cave! All I ever got to eat was eggs!"

"What's wrong with eggs?" Anon and Shining asked in stereo.

"Stay out of this!"

"Hey now," Anon put himself between them. "Look, I know Chryssi did some shitty things and she probably had that coming to her. But right now she's a prisoner in here and she can't leave. She can't even fight back." He helped Chrysalis up. "Show her." Chrysalis tried to punch Anon and her hoof ricocheted off him in a shower of arcane sparks. "If you ladies really need to settle things, I'll see about her getting probation for an afternoon so the two of you can duke it out."

"Maybe in a mud pit," Shining said with a smirk, "With lots of tail-pulling and manes whipping around!"

"You shut up!" Cadance snapped.

Anon interjected, "Princess, listen, in all seriousness, there hasn't been any funny business here. We've just been playing a tabletop game."

"For nerds," Cadance quipped.

"Hey, O&O is for everybody," Anon said.

Cadance looked at Shining. "You know what? I'm gonna fuck Anon."

"Cadie..." Shining whined.

Anon put his hands up. "Hold up! I'm not about to fuck somebody's wife... I mean, at least not knowingly... I mean, at least not of somebody that I know. That wouldn't be fair."

"Oh, I think it is fair," Cadance said. "Shining got to fuck somepony else. So now I get to."

"Cadie, all that stuff with Chryssi was before we even got married, and I didn't even know it was happening!"

Cadance leveled her gaze at him. "I'm not talking about Chrysalis."

"What's... going on?" Anon asked.

"My husband and I have a semi-open relationship," she said.

"Semi-open?"

"Yes, Anon. My husband and I have an arrangement, where he pretends to go to Canterlot on 'royal business', but it's really for a long weekend to fuck another mare. And I pretend to not notice when he comes home smelling like her. But I don't say anything because the rest of the time he's a good stallion. Because we have a family. And because we're public figures leading an empire. And because she's my friend."

"That's a weird arrangement," Anon said, scratching his head. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that's just cheating."

"Yes, Anon," Cadance said. "I'm glad you're paying attention."

"I actually do royal business when I go to Canterlot," Shining said.

Cadance glared at him. "Is that really the battle you want to pick right now?"

"No... Wait, what do you mean you could smell her on me!?" he asked. "I always took a shower! I'm not that stupid."

"No, but neither am I," Cadance said. "I am the Princess of Love! Do you think that I couldn't tell when yours was going somewhere else? Do you think I couldn't sense hers all over you when you got home!? Or the energy between you whenever you were together?"

Shining just looked down at his hooves. "...No."

Cadance took a deep breath and composed herself. "I love you, and I know you love me and Flurry just as much. So this doesn't need to leave this room."

Anon raised an eyebrow, "Wait, if you've known about this all this time, why are you only just bringing it up now? Here? In my kitchen?"

"Because as a princess, I understand the value of leverage. I've been holding all the cards and there was no need to show my hoof until the perfect time. And then along comes word reaching my ear of an S-Class stud operating in Ponyville."

Shining barely looked up from his hooves. "What about... you know... her?"

"I'm not unreasonable," Cadance said, looking at Shining. "I know you're not the one that started it, and I know the love the two of you have is real. As the Princess of Love, I can't, in good conscience, stop it, so I will allow it to continue." Shining's eyes lit up. "However! For lying to me, you have to earn it back my trust. Because without trust..."

"you don't have a relationship," Shining answered.

"Therefore, I will allow things to continue, IF... you can convince Anon to fuck me," she said.

Shining winced.

"Hey man, you don't have to do that," Anon said.

"No, she's right," Shining said. "I- I deserve this. I need to make this right."

Anon put his hand on his shoulder. "You can make it right by going back to being a committed husband, and breaking things off with-"

"NO!" Shining said sharply, "I can't do that. I'm sorry, Cadie. She means too much to me."

"I know," Cadance said, gently putting her hoof to his cheek. "But now you need to know what it's like to knowingly let your spouse fuck somepony else."

Shining closed his eyes. "Anon, please fuck my wife."

"Hey, listen, I'm sure there's some other-"

Shining grabbed Anon's shirt collar with his hooves. "Anon, please! I don't expect you to understand how important this is to me!" His eyes started to water. "Please! Please fuck my wife!"

Anon pulled his hooves off him and eased him away. "Okay, okay! But I'm doing this for you, not her."

Cadance hugged her husband. "Shhh, it's okay. I still love you. After all this is over, everything will be fine. It'll be just like it was before. Okay?" He nodded. She glanced past Anon to look into his bedroom. "You can come watch, if you want."

"No thank you."

"Alright. You stay right here then." Cadance bound his hooves to his chair with her magic and and put her hoof into Anon's hand. "Lead the way."

"Can you at least soundproof the room?" Shining asked. Cadance just looked at him with sympathetic eyes, and shook her head before closing the door behind her.

After a minute of uncomfortable silence, Chrysalis picked up the dice for Shining. "So your Bard was going to cast Levitate to get across the dragon's chasm..?"

"You have a cloud bed?" Cadance asked, inspecting his bedroom. "Nice. We have a similar one at the palace."

"Yeah... Princess Twilight got it for me as part of her payment for... well..."

"Yes. I heard," Cadance said as she pressed her hooves into Anon's bed.

"Oh?"

"I made a little stop on my way here. She, uh, mentioned you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you were all she could talk about. It seems you left quite an impression."

"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot," Anon said, sitting next to her on the bed. "Look, I got into this gig to help out mares in estrus get relief. And that usually excludes mares married to stallions, since they have that relief at their disposal. So, we don't actually have to do this. We can just not, and say we did. We can make a bunch of noise too to make it sound like you're getting revenge."

"No, we absolutely do need to do this," Cadance said. "And it has nothing to do with revenge." Anon raised his eyebrow. "I mean it. I've allowed things to carry on explicitly because I understand my husband better than you or even he does. And it's the same reason why I've elected to partake in your services now."

"And that is?"

"There's certain things I can do with you that I can't do with my spouse."

Anon held up his hands. "Ah, right. Because I have fingers."

"No, no. It's not that." Cadance smirked. "Well, it's not just that."

"Well then what is it?" he asked.

"My husband hasn't gone down on me in years."

"But you still give him blowjobs?" he asked. Cadance shook her head. "You guys don't do oral sex at all?"

"It's not that we don't want to. We love it!" she said. "We used to do it all the time before Flurry was born."

"Why did you stop?"

Her expression turned serious. "Are you kidding me? That's the mouth that kisses my daughter to sleep. What if my husband blows a fat load of that delicious, creamy goodness in my mouth, and then she gets a taste of it? And then she decides to get it from the source! And then one day I come home to her with his dick down her throat! And what if she's better at it than me!?"

"What a colorful imagination," Anon grumbled. "That's an oddly specific worry. You do realize that your face, and your mouth are things that you can clean, right? I know you have toothbrushes here."

Cadance raised an eyebrow, "You've clearly never gotten blasted with a mouthful of stallion baby batter. That's a flavor that lingers."

"I'll just take your word for it... So, what? It's oral sex you want?"

"That's one way of putting it," Cadance said. "Another, more accurate way of putting it is that I want to sit on your face until you have to evolve gills."

"Lovely. Well why don't you go ahead and-" Cadance was already ahead of him, rolling onto her back. "Whoa."

Cadance looked hurt. "What? Am I not attractive to you?"

"No, you are definitely a MILF, it's just..." He pointed at her swollen teats.

Cadance looked at him funny. "What? Have you never had a mare that was nursing..? No, I suppose you wouldn't have if they were in estrus."

"I thought you just had the one daughter, and that she wasn't a little filly anymore," he said.

"Yes, but-" Candance glanced at the door and lowered her voice. "I'm going to tell you a little secret, and don't tell Shining that I told you..."

"Great, more secrets."

"Well, according to his mother, Shining took a very long time to be weaned. Like, to the point that he was still doing it alongside his sister after she was born. And she only just barely got him to stop shortly before he got his cutie mark. I didn't find out about all this until I became pregnant with Flurry and I discovered just how much he liked milk. He stopped while she was a foal, but just as soon as she was weaned, he was right back at them. And as long as he keeps doing it, they persist."

"It's that good huh?"

"Want to find out?" she offered, spreading her legs a little wider.

Anon took one of her teats in his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. A droplet of milk appeared at the tip of her puffy nipple, which was usually little more than a nub in a mare's belly fur. He leaned over and gave it a curious lick. It was barely enough to register on his taste buds, but it wasn't bad. He closed his lips on her nipple and gave it a gentle suck and another squeeze with his hand. Her warm milk filled his mouth. It wasn't as watery as he was expecting from a horse. Perhaps it was the sweet, confectionary diet of ponies that made her milk so rich and creamy.

Anon squeezed and sucked until no more milk came and then he moved over to the other teat. Cadance moaned in the rewarding sensation specifically designed by nature to make nursing her young a pleasurable experience. She held his head against her teat with her hoof and watched him suckle. "I take it you're a fan now, too?"

"Mhmmf!" Anon nodded without stopping, intent on getting every last drop sucked out as he kneaded her teat. He went back and double checked the first one again, to make sure it was truly drained. "I can see why he likes it so much!"

Cadance praised him, "Mmm, thank you Anon. I feel much better now." Indeed the skin of her teats looked much less strained. "When I told you about how much the stories about you have spread, I wasn't giving you lip service. But that's exactly what I'd like to get now. So now that you've had your appetizer..." She lightly patted the top of his head with her hoof. "Why don't you move on down to the main course?"

Anon needed little other coaxing. He moved just a bit lower and parted her lips with his fingers, giving her a good first lick. He smacked his lips and took a moment to study her flavor.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, it's just..." He struggled to find the words to describe it. It wasn't the viscous, sweet syrup he was accustomed to from mare pussy. It was a bit more watery. Almost, diluted. "It's just... different."

"Different, bad?"

"No, no! Just... different," he said. "Maybe it's because you've had a foal? I don't think any of the mares that I've- uh, met, were mothers."

Cadance tapped her chin with her hoof. "Hmm. Maybe. Or it could be that I'm not actively in heat."

"No?"

"No. My husband saw to that already."

"Uhhh-" Anon stared at her pussy and felt his stomach rising.

"Oh, no, that was days ago!" Cadance assured him. "I wouldn't do that to you."

"Alright..." Anon went back to work, licking her pussy. He worked his way up and down, probing her entrance and then moving back up to flick her clit and give it little sucking kisses.

"Ah yes... that's nice," Cadance breathed, enjoying being serviced. Anon alternated between his tongue and his fingers, switching up between where each was working on her, keeping her a bit on edge and not able to exactly predict what he would do next. Cadance's leg trembled and she bit her lip to stifle a moan.

"Really?" he asked.

"Just a little one," she said. Her other leg wrapped around behind him and pushed him back into her with her heel. She rolled and bucked her hips in little motions against his to try to feel that sensation harder, but it only served to make her more frustrated. "Are you trying to tease me?"

"Not a lot," he said. Cadance huffed in frustration and sat up, moving Anon with her and rolling him over onto the bed, and climbing over him. "I take it you're accustomed to being on tommhf!"

Cadance cut him off as she sat on his face. "Yes. I am a princess after all." She made small rocking motions, rolling her hips against his face, brushing his nose against her clit in the way that she liked and giving him enough time to breath in between. "Maybe once the season is over, I can employ you to be my throne in the Crystal Palace."

"Hmhf mhmhf."

"No, you're right. That would raise a lot of awkward questions. Especially from Flurry." Cadance went back to focusing on her pleasure. But it started getting more to the point that she was merely using the contours of his face than the capacity of his tongue and lips to actively pleasure her. After a couple minutes she punched the mattress with her hoof in frustration. "Ugh! What am I missing! All the pieces are here!"

"Mmm mh hm mhm mf hmmh. Mhmm hn mff mfh fh hmf?" Anon said into her vagina. Cadance lifted her hips. "You sound stressed out. You need to relax. You're used to being in charge. But is that what you want?" he asked.

Cadance rolled over off of him and flopped onto the mattress. "I don't know."

Anon sat beside her and gently cupped her vulva, rubbing in slow circles with his fingers. "Well then what do you want?" he asked.

"Well I thought I wanted oral sex," she said.

"But not from me?"

"Don't get me wrong, you're good at it."

"Thank you."

"But yeah. The who is more important than the how. When I'm sitting on somepony's face, I want to look down and see his."

"Wow, that's... almost romantic." Anon worked his fingers into her pussy. "Have you told him that?"

"Yes. He knows," she said. Anon's thumb played with her clit a little before he turned his wrist a little to get it inside her pussy with the rest of his fingers, finding a good deal of resistance. "Everything alright back there?" she asked.

"Yeah, its fine. It's just that all my lube is at the spa and... For a mare that's had a foal, you're a lot tighter than I was expecting."

Cadance smiled. "I'll take that for the complement that it is. Kegels."

"What?"

"Kegels," she repeated. "Pelvic muscle exercises. Not only can it keep you snug after foal-bearing, but it can even give you a more powerful orgasm." A tendril of Cadance's magic touched Anon's butthole and his anus clenched. "Yeah, just like that. It works for males, too."

"Yeah, thanks for the tip," Anon said.

"Just the tip," Cadance quipped and wiggled her ass back against his hand, getting the rest of it inside her pussy. "Ah, there it is!" she panted. She grabbed his pillow and hugged it as he worked his arm deeper inside.

"Huh?" Anon said just before he got to his elbow.

"What?" Cadance asked. She felt a tickle deep inside her belly as his finger touched her cervix, running around the rim of her deepest barrier.

"It feels..." Anon tried to think of a word besides 'stretched' or 'loose'.

Cadance understood. "Yes, well there's some things that even Kegels can't fix after having a foal. And it's just as well that it's still a bit pliable because..." Cadance looked to the door and lowered her voice again. "The thickest stallion in Equestria might be up for debate... but Shining is definitely the longest."

"Ah." Anon backed out a little and curled his fingers into a fist, giving him the clearance to move freely in and out of her. "So how's this?"

"Mhmm!" Cadance nodded as she bit his pillow.

Anon adjusted his angle a little to focus on her g-spot. "Great. Try not to drool on that too much, okay?"

"Mhmm!"

It was a losing battle with how wet the rest of the bedding was getting. "So, faster? Or do you want me to-" he rotated his arm as he moved in and out of her. She didn't reply. "Cadance? Hey, where are you?"

"What does he see in her anyway?" Cadance asked.

"I'm up to my elbow inside you and you're still thinking about that?" Anon asked.

"You've been living with her for a while now. What's so great about her? What makes her better than me?"

"What, you mean Chryssi? I really don't think it has anything to do with her," Anon said. "Or you. I mean, not really. I really think that whatever sexual stuff happened between them is in the past, and they're just... friends now. Why? Do you not trust him?"

"I don't trust her," Cadance said.

"That's fair, I suppose. But really, I mean it. There hasn't been any funny business happening between them. Trust me, I have no reason to lie for him. And besides, you'd be able to tell, right? If he still had those kind of feelings for her?" For a long minute the only sounds were the lewd squelches coming from her pussy getting fist-fucked.

"Yeah, you're right," Cadance admitted.

"And you know, it wouldn't kill you to try to take an interest in his hobbies," he said. Cadance grumbled. "Listen, I was skeptical too, but I'm serious. Once we finish up in here, we'll go out there and get you set up with a character, and I'll bet you'll like it once you give it a try."

"Ugh, fine," she groaned.

Anon could feel his arm starting to get tired. It had already been a long day at the spa and this was taking even longer. "Are you sure it's fine? Because you don't seem to be enjoying this."

"I am! It's just- my head's not in the right place. I thought I would enjoy revenge sex but it's like you said. It's the who, not the what."

"Honestly, I think the best revenge is a life well-lived," Anon said. "Stop getting hung up on the things that make you upset. That's what gives them power over you. Let that stuff go and just be happy."

"Okay, yes, I will do that, but also..." Cadance moaned and gripped the bedding, gushing around Anon's arm, soaking him and the linen sheets. She panted and caught her breath between spasms. "I know what I want now!" she cried out as her pussy continued to grip his arm. She tried to roll over but they were both firmly locked.

"You want to maybe let go!?"

"I want to fuck my husband!"

"Okay-"

"I want him to get me good and pregnant. And then when I'm out to here-" She motioned with her hoof in front of her belly. "I'm gonna sit on her face and make her eat me out! And then she'll get to see what she'll never have!" Cadance cackled. "That's the revenge sex I want!"

"Yeah, sure, that's a healthy coping mechanism... and oddly specific." Anon groaned, forced to do yoga as Cadance rolled onto her side. "Seriously though, can you maybe relax just a little bit? I just un-dis-located my shoulder a few days ago, and I'm pretty sure Nurse Redheart is getting sick of seeing me."

Cadance took a deep breath and focused on her pelvic muscles. It was a familiar sensation to the mare that had foaled once before. With a coordinated squeeze, she pushed his arm out, followed by her trapped climax spraying him in the face. He sat on the edge of the bed and wiped it out of his eyes. "Thanks."

"Oh no, thank you," Cadance purred. She walked around to stand in front of him. "In fact, I think I know just the way to thank you..." She licked her lips and grabbed the hem of his shorts.

"Not to stop you or anything, but what about the whole 'mouth that kisses your foal goodnight' bit?"

Cadance shrugged. "It's not like we kiss her on the mouth." Cadance's eyes narrowed. "At least, he better not." She pulled down the elastic band of his shorts and his dick sprang free, flopping down across her snout. She ran her tongue up from his balls along his shaft to the tip and closed her mouth over it to start sucking.

Behind her, the door was kicked open and Shining Armor stormed in. Before Cadance could even get her mouth off Anon's dick, Shining was on her, mounting her at once. It only served to shove her forward, deeper onto Anon's dick. Anon's legs were pinned under Cadance's hooves, so he couldn't even slink away. And as much as Anon wanted to avoid it, Shining seemed intent to make eye contact with him the whole time.

If Cadance had any opinion on the situation, it was translated into muffled moans and choked gurgles. Anon doubted that she just forgot about the magic available to her. Anon wasn't generally a fan of 'rough' sex, but apparently his dick didn't get the memo. Her sputtered coughing had drool spilling out of her mouth and it was turning the prim and proper princess into a mascara-smeared whorse. Though she seemed adept at timing her breathing through her nose.

She sucked his dick like it was the only way to defuse a bomb with seconds left on the timer. Shining saw Anon's legs quiver and he pushed the back of her head with his hoof as Anon came, making his cum dribble out her nose.

No sooner had Anon finished then Shining wrapped his hooves around her to lift her up on her hind legs. With her mouth finally unobstructed, Cadance gasped for air. Anon backed away as Shining fucked up into her from behind, his length stopping just short of being able to hilt, each time making him more and more aggressive until her last barrier gave way and finally the last couple inches popped in.

Anon had never seen a stallion's orgasm before. Bulges moved up his shaft, one after another into the princess, bloating her belly until at last their legs both gave out and they fell forward onto Anon's bed, panting and wheezing.

Anon slid off his side of the bed and grabbed his shorts, grateful to find them mostly dry. He walked out into the kitchen to find Shining Armor still bound to the chair where Cadance had left him. After a green flash behind Anon, Chrysalis joined them in the kitchen.

"There," Chrysalis said, back to her changeling self, "Now she can stop being jealous of you fucking me." The binding's on Shining's hooves vanished as Cadance passed out. He ran into the bedroom to check on her, shaking her awake.

Cadance had a goofy grin plastered across her face. "Git Chryssi in here, I wanna sit onner face! I heard 'bout her long tongue."

Shining looked out into the kitchen. Chrysalis looked back at him with a smug grin. He waved for her to come back into the bedroom as Cadance sat up, looking quite gravid.

"You heard her," Shining said with some hesitation. "Lay down."

"As you wish, my Prince," Chrysalis complied.

"No-no. Nah like thah," Cadance slurred, sounding already half in the bag. "Change fer me first."

"Who would you like me to change into, Princess?"

"You know who! Change into his si-" Cadance glanced at the doorway and then at Shining. "His side-piece! Don't worry Shiny, you get to fuck her, too."

Shining walked over to the bedroom doorway and looked at Anon. "We're uh, we're gonna need a minute to uh... to resolve things." He said before he closed the door, obscuring the flash of green light.

"The fuck!?" Anon groused. "Did I just get kicked out of my own bedroom?"

He sat at the kitchen table, strongly suspecting it was going to be well more than a minute to resolve that hot mess. "At least I have pizza."

Even if it had gone cold.

After eating, Anon walked into the guest bedroom. Apparently, that was where they dumped his old, broken bed frame from the lawn, mattress included.

"Fuck it." He laid down on the bare mattress. He was too tired for it to matter. He could deal with the mess in the morning.

Author's Note

1988154

15. The CMC

Anon was thrilled to finally have a day off from the spa after working every day since he had gotten the job there. Not that he didn't enjoy his work, he did, but there were matters that he needed to see to on his own time. At the tip top of that list was paying another visit to Silver Shoals.

"Back so soon?" Celestia asked from her pool float.

"I have something important I need to tend to," Anon said.

"I'm pretty important," she said as she sipped her tequila sunrise.

Anon paused and looked at her. "It's almost as important."

Celestia smirked. "Her door should be unlocked."

Anon looked away, embarrassed that his intentions were so transparent to her. She blew him a kiss and waved him off without another word. It was of no gain to her to tease him over it.

Anon opened the door to Luna's bungalow and stepped inside. His eyes adjusted from the harsh mid-day sunlight to the dark of her home. He quietly shuffled through her living room, navigating around the vacant couch in front of the TV, kicking aside several empty cans of Crimson Cow energy drinks. The door to her bedroom was ajar and inside he could see the former Princess of the Night asleep in her bed.

Stepping closer he could see the mostly-empty bottle of Applezzz sleeping potion on her night stand. It was still cool, meaning that she had drank it recently, ensuring that she would be in a deep sleep. Her sheets and blankets were scattered in a haphazard mess that only partially covered her. Her butt was hanging part-way off the mattress, with her tail draped onto the floor.

"Luna, you make it too easy..." he mused. He barely even had to move her tail aside to see that her vulva was indeed just as dappled as he had dreamed. He undid his pants and stepped out of them. "Let's see how you like someone having sex with you in your sleep."

He rubbed the tip of his dick against her pussy, feeling her getting wet as he parted her lips. Once he had a generous coating, he pushed it inside. Luna barely stirred as he started to thrust.

On the one hand, it was not as satisfying as he had imagined his revenge sex being. She laid there in relatively motionless silence, giving no reaction other than the occasional involuntary wink of her clitoris.

On the other hand, it was a pleasant change to be able to have intercourse with a mare that wasn't constantly making demands of him to go faster, or harder, or change positions into some kind of crazy yoga pose they saw in their copy of the Pony Sutra.

Part of him wanted her to wake up and realize what he was doing. He started going a bit faster and harder. His hips smacked against her amble bottom, and he watching the little ripples move across her flank. He otherwise enjoyed his leisurely pace, feeling her pussy squeeze occasionally as she came in her sleep. He could feel her warm wetness dripping down his balls, surely staining the shag carpet he was standing on.

Fun was fun and he was nearly done having his. Feeling his climax coming on, he grabbed her hips and slammed it home a couple more times, giving her a good, deep creampie before pulling out and sending a rope across her nose, along with spurting a few new constellations in her tail and mane. He smirked. It would be a nightmare to try to wash that out once it had set in while she slept.

"Taking us in our sleep, Anon?" Luna murmured as she lifted her head to look at him. "We suppose turnabout is fair play, after all." She licked his cum at the corner of her mouth and glanced at his stains seeping into her mane and could feel his thick load dripping from her freshly-fucked pussy. "Goodness, you've made quite a mess! A pity we won't be the one cleaning it up."

Anon woke up in his bed. He could feel the sticky mess in his shorts.

"... Fuck."

He climbed out of bed and kicked off his laundry into the corner of the room. He walked naked out into the hallway to the bathroom and stepped into the shower to wash off. He heard the door open.

"Morning, Chryssi," Anon greeted. "I don't need company, I'm just washing up real quick."

"Not Chryssi," Princess Cadance grumbled as she waddled in. Anon peeked out from behind the shower curtain at Cadance sitting on the toilet. "Do you mind?" she asked the impromptu voyeur.

"Do you!?" he asked indignantly.

"Relax. It's just number one. I'm not gonna blow up your bathroom while you're in it. Now, could you please..?" Cadance waved him away. Anon closed the curtain to give them each their privacy. The noise of the shower covered up any that the princess's piddle made.

"Stayed the night, I assume?" he asked.

"You'd be right," Cadance groaned.

"Chyssi?"

"Still in bed with my husband," she said.

"Is that... gonna be a problem?" Anon asked, not wanting to walk out into a fight first thing in the morning.

"No. We... worked things out," she said.

"How so?"

"Well when I woke up, I was the one wedged between them in the bed," she said, punctuating the end of the conversation with a toilet flush.

A little while later Anon finished his shower and opened the curtain. He has presumed that she had left but she was still there on the toilet, holding her belly and grunting.

"Hey! I thought you said you weren't going to blow up my bathroom!"

"I'm not!" Cadance growled. She got up with one of her legs propped up on the counter and holding a small mirror to look at her backside with her magic.

"What are you doing then?" he asked as he quickly toweled himself dry.

"Having a little problem," Cadance said, lowering her hoof to turn and look at him. "I need your hands again."

"For fuck's sake, take a number! My shift at the spa is gonna start in forty minutes, and I haven't even had breakfast yet! Unlike you!" Anon pointed at her belly.

"I have eggs in my uterus!"

"... Yeah, that's how reproduction works, Princess. Read a book!"

"They're not mine, dipshit! I need you to get them out!"

Anon rubbed the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache starting. He could tell it was going to be one of those days. "Alright, turn around." Cadance turned in place and bent over, propping up her butt at him and flagging her tail aside. Before her could even touch her, her magic glowed on her vulva and parted her lips.

"Look, see?" she asked. Her magic pushed inside and gaped the rest of her vagina, letting the bathroom light shine in on her cervix. The inside of her pussy glistened with a viridian sheen. Her cervix, normally a tight pucker was just slightly open, maybe only the width of a pencil, and a smooth green surface just inside.

"Okay, yeah, I see it," Anon said. "But I'm no doctor. Are you sure this isn't something you should see Nurse Redheart about?"

"NO!" Cadance snapped, releasing her magic. "Nopony must know about what happened here last night!"

"Alright, alright," Anon said. "Let me just..." Anon pushed his fingers inside her pussy. The rest of his hand slid in shortly after with relative ease after last night, and she was still thoroughly lubricated. His fingers grazed her inner barrier just as his elbow was about to reach her lips.

"Okay, so this part might hurt a little..." he warned. Cadance balled up his towel and hugged it as he pushed one of his fingers into her cervical opening, and then a second to try to pry it open just enough. Cadance bit the towel and whimpered a little as he added a third. "Shit! How in the world do you ever manage to push out a foal through this!" Cadance didn't answer and just braced herself as Anon added his thumb to the mix, opening it just enough to-

"Aha!" He felt the egg pop out into his palm. He held it and slowly slid his arm out. Her vulva bulged and stretched to accommodate the extra girth of his filled hand pulling out. He looked at his arm and hand coated in greenish slime and the egg in his hand.

"Okay!" Cadance panted. "Now get the rest!"

"There's more?" he asked, looking at the obvious answer in her large belly. "Let me get a bowl or something."

Anon walked out to the kitchen to get a bowl. On the way back he passed by his master bedroom. Sure enough, Chrysalis and Shining Armor were still fast asleep beneath the covers.

Anon set the bowl in the bathroom sink basin and put the first egg in it. He slid his arm back inside Cadance, feeling around for the next egg. "You know, I've heard of food play but this is ridiculous"

"Shut up," Cadance growled through her grit teeth. Now that he knew what to do, the next egg came easier. Or at least, faster. Easier was subjective to the princess.

"How the hell did you guys even get these in here!?" he asked. Cadance only answered with a grunt, contracting her muscles to help push out the next egg into his hand. One egg, then another, and another. Her belly got smaller. With each egg, it got easier, and then it started to get more difficult again. Cadance huffed and puffed against the balled towel, started to get fatigued as Anon scooped out the eleventh egg and slid his arm back inside her.

His fingers felt around inside her womb, grazing one last smooth egg. "I can feel just one more. See if you can push it out." Cadance huffed and wheezed but shook her head.

"I- I can't! I'm exhausted."

Anon tried again, each time failed to get any grip on it. "I- I can't seem to get it. I'd have to... really get in there to grab it." Cadance looked back at him with nervous eyes, but eventually nodded, then bit the towel even harder. "Okay, just... try to relax."

If he could do it with Celestia, he could do it with Cadance. Maybe. He pushed the widest part of his hand into her cervix. Cadance whined into the towel but didn't tell him to stop. She muffled her yelp once his hand popped inside and her cervix closed around his wrist. That was the easy part.

Anon felt around inside her womb, making sure there were no others. He could easily grasp the final egg. Now there was just the matter of pulling it out. He pulled back on his arm, with her O-ring still firmly gripping his wrist. He ended up pulling all of the mare with him as she slid backwards on the tile floor.

"I need my hand back, sweetheart," he said. Cadance glared at him over her shoulder. He put his free hand against her butt to brace himself and pulled again. Cadance cried into the towel. Anon didn't yank. He pulled gently at first, but firmly, gradually a little harder. Cadance's hind legs started to tremble and shake, but he could feel himself making progress. "Almost... there..." The widest part of his filled hand pulled through her tight cervix and he was released along with all the tension. The entire length of his arm quickly slid out of her pussy with a loud, wet 'shlorp', and he fell backwards into the shower, egg in hand.

Another shower was something he knew he definitely needed as he placed the final egg in the bowl and brought it out to the kitchen counter. Cadance beat him to it, standing in the shower with the mobile shower head pointed under her tail. She disconnected the head and stuck the hose into her pussy. The sound of running water paused for a moment as her belly briefly bulged before she pulled the hose back out followed by a massive gush of greenish water. Anon washed off his arm in the sink while she repeated the process until the water finally came out clear and she turned it off.

"You alright?" he asked.

Cadance nodded. "Yeah, I, uh... thanks."

"You're welcome. Next time, don't put eggs in your womb," he said.

Cadance snorted. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

They walked out of the bathroom. Chrysalis was out of bed and at the kitchen stove with the skillet going. The bowl of eggs was empty. Chrysalis glanced over her shoulder at Cadance. "Last night was fun. I hope we didn't break you." Cadance huffed at her. Chrysalis smirked. "Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet."

"Did somepony say omelet?" Shining Armor asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he walked over to sit at the kitchen table.

"Hot and extra fresh!" Chrysalis said, sliding a portion of green omelet out of the pan into his plate. Shining started eating immediately.

"How do you always make the best omelets?" Shining asked.

"Because they're made with L~O~V~E." Chrysalis slid a portion onto Anon's plate.

Anon picked up a fork.

Cadance balked. "Anon! Those were just-"

"Yeah yeah," Anon said, taking a bite. "And before that they were inside a green chicken, so what does it matter?" He ate two more bites. "Fucking delicious."

"I know, right!?" Shining said, between scoops. Anon reached over and bumped his fist against Shining's hoof.

Chrysalis just smirked across the table at Cadance.

With breakfast over and his royal visitors seen off to the Ponyville train station, Anon grabbed his things just in time to be late for work again. Despite all his work that week, the line to the spa didn't look any shorter.

"Fuck. Doesn't Equestria have weekends?" he asked Aloe as he walked past the front desk.

"Estrüs does not take a day off, meester Anon..." Aloe said, signing in the next client. Though serious, she seemed more chipper than usual.

"So neither can we," Lotus added, directing Anon to his suite. She pulled him down to her by his sleeve to whisper, "By the way... thank you for yesterday. We are feeling much better."

Was that only yesterday? Anon wondered. It felt like weeks ago.

"You're welcome, of course," Anon said with a smile. Lotus gave him a quick peck on the cheek and left him to his work. He opened the door and walked inside. There was not one, but three adult mares. Anon glanced at his appointments sheet.

"Which one of you adult mares is... Scootaloo?" Anon asked. The orange adult pegasus with the purple mane sitting on the massage table raised her hoof. "Okay. I have your appointment here for the... Wonderbolt Package?" Anon glanced at the uniform hanging on his costume rack with the accompanying rainbow wig. "But as for you two..." He looked at the white adult unicorn sitting on the other bench and the yellow adult earth pony pacing in place nervously next to her. "This isn't marked down as a group session."

"Actually, I was hoping to give my appointment to her," Scootaloo said, pointing at the earth pony.

"Okay. And you are..?" Anon asked.

"Apple Bloom," she said.

"Fine. Whatever." Anon scribbled out Scootaloo's name and wrote in Apple Bloom on his ledger. "And you are...?" he asked the unicorn.

"Sweetie Belle."

"And why are you here?"

"... Moral support?"

"I don't need a cheerleader," Anon said.

"I'm not here for you," Sweetie Belle said. "I'm here for her!" She pointed at Apple Bloom.

"Me too," Scootaloo said.

"Why does she need cheerleaders?"

"Not cheerleaders. Friends," Scootaloo said. "Moral support."

Anon huffed and set down his clipboard. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"

The other two mares looked at Apple Bloom. "Tell him."

"It's embarrassing," Apple Bloom said. "You see, we're teachers over at Princess Twilight's School of Friendship. And yesterday, we went out for adult beverages."

"Adult beverages?" Anon asked.

"Hard cider," Apple Bloom said.

"Manehattan Iced Tea," Sweetie Belle said.

"Kirin Beer," Scootaloo said.

"You know, alcohol," Apple Bloom said. "And since they have alcohol in them, they can only be served to adults. Because that is what we are. Adults."

"You are all obviously adults of the legal age of consent in Equestria," Anon said. "Otherwise you would not have been able to even make an appointment here. So it seems a little weird that you felt the need to say it out loud."

"We just didn't want there to be any ambiguity about the situation," Scootaloo said.

"That's why we all signed this legally binding form of enthusiastic consent and we had it officially notarized on the way over here," Sweetie Belle said.

"Pretty standard, really," Apple Bloom said.

"As you do," Anon agreed. "So you were saying?"

Apple Bloom took a deep breath. "We were drinking our adult beverages, and we were talking about work, and they asked me about how things were on the farm, and if I would still be able to inherit it, and I talked to my sister about it, and she said that now that my brother is married he'll probably inherit it with his wife, so the only way I'd even have a chance would be if I squeezed out an apple myself and I realize now that she meant having a foal bearing the Apple family name but I thought she was being literal so I went to the orchard and got an actual apple to squeeze out and now I've got one-" Apple Bloom gasped and took another huge breath, "stuck in my hoo-ha!"

"... Your hoo-ha?" Anon asked. Apple Bloom nodded. "Okay, so just to be clear, are we talking about your front door or the back door?"

"What?"

"Is in up your ass or not?" he asked.

Apple Bloom winced even harder. "Wha- NO! It's in the other place!"

"Okay, I want you to do something for me," Anon said. "I want you to say, out loud, the word vagina."

"Vagina."

"You have an apple stuck inside your vagina?"

"Yeah..."

"Swell. More food play." Anon rubbed his forehead. Dear Diary, today had a theme. "Okay, so I have to ask, why not go to Ponyville General about this sort of thing? This seems like a medical thing."

"Well, we were gonna," Scootaloo said. "But this was my appointment time, and there was no way I'd be able to reschedule! I was here on the first day to book it! The waiting list is weeks long now!"

"And besides, Nurse Redheart is an earth pony," Apple Bloom said. "I don't even know how she'd get it out with her hooves and not magic."

"What about Sweetie, here?" Anon asked. "She's a unicorn. Couldn't she just use her magic to get it out?"

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both blushed. "It's not like that. We're just friends."

"So?"

"So I'd be able to feel her magic inside me!" Apple Bloom said.

"And I'd be able to feel her, inside," Sweetie added. "It's way too intimate!"

"Also we have a bet," Scootaloo said.

"What sort of bet?" Anon asked nervously.

"Can we just worry about the apple first!?" Apple Bloom asked impatiently, still quite unable to sit down.

"Alright. Scootaloo, scoot your boot!" Anon said, waving away the pegasus. Scootaloo hopped down to go sit next to Sweetie Belle on the bench. "Apple Bloom, up here."

Apple Bloom slowly climbed up onto the bench. Anon walked around behind her and lifted her tail to look at the 'problem area'.

Apple Bloom looked back over her shoulder at her friends watching from the bench, "You guys don't have to look, you know."

"Yeah, we know," they said, making no effort to look away.

Anon reached over to his shelf and pushed the pump on the dispenser, subtlety labeled: SEX LUBE. He got a generous handful of it to slather on his arm for the first mare of the day. He was still a gentleman after all. Sweetie and Scootaloo watched Anon start to apply the excess lube against Apple Bloom's vulva, giving it a thorough coating before he started working in his fingers. He got to his fourth finger and Apple Bloom was already wincing in discomfort.

"I don't even have my thumb in yet," Anon said. "Are you sure about this?"

"It's not that, it's-" Apple Bloom groaned. "Can you let me roll over?" Anon withdrew his fingers and let her roll onto her back. Laying down, Anon could actually see the bulge in her abdomen.

"Geez! Are you sure it's an apple and not a cantaloupe or something?" he asked, placing his palm over the bump.

"We grow 'em big on the farm," Apple Bloom said.

"That's for sure," Sweetie said.

"Mhmm," Scootaloo agreed.

Apple Bloom glared at them. "Just get it out, please."

"On it." Anon placed his still-well-lubed fingers into her pussy and added his thumb along for the ride. Apple Bloom looked at the ceiling or literally anywhere else other than at her friends staring at Anon's hand being fed into her vagina.

"Wow," Sweetie breathed, watching Apple Blooms vulva stretch around the widest part of Anon's hand before relaxing closed around his wrist. Apple Bloom just focused on her breathing as she felt more of Anon's arm sliding inside her. Anon looked down at the bulge in her belly and gauged his depth.

"Wow. It's really in there," he said to her.

"I know."

At last, he felt the smooth surface of the apple against his fingertips. "There we are. Now I just need to..." Anon needed to stretch her depths just a bit more to get his fingers around the massive fruit. He started pulling it out and she whimpered. "Is that too much?" he asked.

She gave a half-nod. "It's starting to be."

"It's alright. If you got it in, we can get it out," he assured her. He slowly pulled his arm out and watched the bulge of the apple inside her move down along her abdomen. Once it was about the apple's diameter away from coming out, at around her g-spot, her moaning rose to a crying. Anon stopped, knowing that the apple and his hand coming out together would be more than just the apple going in. "Do you think you can push it out from there?" he asked.

Apple Bloom nodded. He let go of the apple and slid his hand out of her. Anon and her friends watched and waited as she grunted and groaned with heavy heaves and breathing to push the apple out, but if anything it only went further back inside her. "I- I can't!" she cried.

"Alright, I'll get it out," Anon assured her. He pushed his hand back in and felt around inside her for the apple to grab it again. "Deep breath," he coached as he pulled the apple out, stretching her pussy wider than ever before. "Just try to relax. And..." The apple started to crown. Sweetie and Scoots leaned closer, mouth's agape, to watch the miracle of... fruit bearing. The pressure inside Apple Bloom's belly grew more and more. Her leg's tensed and her hips lifted off the table along with Anon's wrist as he pulled the apple just a bit more.

"I- Ah- AH!" Apple Bloom shrieked as Anon pulled the apple free at last and Apple Bloom's pussy came in a mighty squirt, spraying in a wide arc across Anon and the faces of her two gawking friends, giving them both a mouthful of Apple juice.

Apple Bloom panted on the table and Anon wiped her climax off his chin with his free hand. His other hand held the offending fruit that was, indeed, an apple. Possibly the largest he'd ever seen. Apple Bloom rolled over and carefully slid down off the massage table onto shaky hooves.

"Okay! My turn!" Scootaloo said, scampering up onto the massage table.

"What? Do you have fruit inside you too?" Anon asked.

"Not yet," Scootaloo said. "But I bet Apple Bloom that if I could squeeze the apple out when she couldn't then she's pay for my session today."

"...Considering what you just saw, are you sure you actually want to do that?" Anon asked.

"Pssh, yeah!" Scootaloo said. "I know I can. Come on, let's go!" She rolled onto her back and spread her legs.

"Fine. Whatever." Anon rolled his eyes. It wasn't even the kinkiest thing he had done in the last twenty four hours. He applied some more lube to the apple and rubbed it against Scootaloo's marehood, holding it to her entrance with his finger with steady pressure, slowly easing it forward. Scootaloo looked no worse for wear as her pussy started to stretch. Just as it got to the widest part of the apple's circumference, it popped inside and her lips closed around it.

Scootaloo wiggled her hips and with a couple huffs her pussy stretched again and the apple reappeared. With another grunt she squeezed it out onto the massage table.

"Ha! Tada!" Scootaloo announced.

"That doesn't count!" Apple Bloom fumed. She grabbed the apple with her hoof and pushed it back inside Scootaloo. "You pushed it way up in here!" Apple Bloom pushed the apple inside Scootaloo as far as she could. Scootaloo felt the apple against her cervix, pushing her uterus up against her diaphragm, quite literally knocking the wind out of her. "There!" Apple Bloom spat. "Try and get it out now!

"Apple Bloom!" Sweetie Belle blanched. "You just had your hoof inside Scootaloo up to your elbow!"

"Fair is fair!" Apple Bloom said. "How do you think that apple got so far inside me? I couldn't have done that myself!"

"So... you and Scootaloo...?" Sweetie asked with an edge of heartbreak in her voice.

Apple Bloom shrugged. "I mean... sometimes? But it's not like that. It's just an estrus thing. Usually."

"But what about me?" Sweetie asked.

"Aren't you still dating Spike?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "No. I think we all know what that was really about, anyway. But what about you? I thought you were dating Tender Taps!"

Apple Bloom snickered. "Naw. His taps weren't the only thing that were tender." Apple Bloom placed her hooves an unflattering distance apart in front of her. Sweetie Belle blushed.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo was in the middle of Lamaze breathing between pushes. Slowly but surely, the bulge in her abdomen worked its way down. Mid way, she huffed and got up into a squatting position to resume with her hooves on her belly to help it along. When that failed, she moved her hoof lower and started rubbing herself.

"Scootaloo! Lewd!" Sweetie chastised.

"What? It helps!" Scootaloo said as she kept masturbating, dulling the discomfort with pleasure. Her hips bounced slightly in time with her breathing and pushes until, just as before, her pussy bulged and stretched open, plopping the thrice-birthed apple back onto the massage table with a splash amid her accompanying orgasm. "HA! Pay up!"

"Aw, you only managed that because you're a pegasus," Apple Bloom said.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Pegasi lay eggs!" Apple Bloom said.

"What about Pound Cake?" Sweetie asked. "He didn't come from an egg."

"Yeah, cuz Mrs. Cake is an earth pony!" Apple Bloom said.

"Wait, do green pegasi lay green eggs?" Anon asked. Have I been eating pegasi eggs!?

"What? No!" Scootaloo said. "They're egg colored. You know, white-ish. Or sometimes brown."

"Yeah, if the daddy is a zebra," Apple Bloom said.

"Don't be racist, Apple Bloom," Sweetie said.

"What? That's what Granny Smith told me."

"Yeah, and she was incredibly racist!"

"Nu-uh!"

"She once called a broken bottle a zigger knife, Bloom."

"Okay, yeah I guess she was a little racist."

"Ya think!?"

"Well ladies, as fun as this has been..." Anon said in a dismissive tone.

"Wait!" Sweetie Belle said. "Scoots and Bloom get off, but I get nothing?"

Anon glanced at the clock and sighed. "Okay. But this is officially Group rates now. Apple Bloom paid his rate, setting her pouch of bits on his shelf. "Go ahead and lay down, Sweetie."

"No. You lay down," Sweetie said, lifting him on the table with her magic. Anon didn't take the petite unicorn for a dom, but here he was. She climbed on top of him and straddled his face. He obliged her and began licking the sweet, marshmallowy pussy of a mare that indulged in sugary treats. Sweetie relaxed and melted into her seat. "Ah, yes. Rarity said you were good... I knew I had to see for myself."

Anon felt somepony tugging at his shorts. He tried to look and see who it was but Sweetie Belle kept his face pinned between her thighs. Another pony climbed up onto the table and started grinding on his lap, getting his erection wet with her arousal before lifting it upright to sit on it properly. "So awesome™!" Scootaloo squealed.

"Oh wow..." Apple Bloom said, looking through the 'tools' on the shelf. Sweetie Belle lifted herself briefly to turn around and face Scootaloo. Anon caught a glimpse of Apple Bloom over on the bench fucking herself with the big red dildo. Sweetie Belle re-seated herself on Anon's face for him to resume his licking, and Scootaloo continued to ride his dick.

"Come join your friends," Sweetie said. Her magic lifted Apple Bloom and carried her over to lay sideway across Anon's midsection, making the frame of the table groan. Held where she was, Sweetie's magic took control of the dildo and started fucking Apple Bloom with it. "See what you've been missing by not dating a unicorn?"

"Sweetie!" Apple Bloom moaned. A tendril of Sweetie's magic reached inside and tickled Apple Blooms G-spot, making her squeal. Sweetie's magic pulled the dildo out at the last moment and held her upside down in front of her to cup her pussy with her mouth as she came.

"Mmm, I can see why Scoots wanted to keep your apple juice all to herself."

"Mhmm!" Scootaloo agreed, feeling Apple Bloom's nose against her crotch as she kept riding Anon.

Sweetie Belle shivered as she came, treating Anon to her syrupy sweet mare cream. "Alright Scoot, don't hog all that dick!"

"He didn't even cum yet!" Scoot panted.

"Good!" Apple Bloom said. "I'm paying, I should get the pie!"

"And you will," Sweetie Belle said, her magic lifting Scootaloo off. "Right after me."

Sweetie leaned over to sixty nine Anon, licking and sucking Scootaloo's juices of his dick before shifting herself over to take her place and sit on it.

For lack of an apple or a fist recently stuffed in it, Sweetie was much tighter.

"No fair!" Apple Bloom whined, watching Sweetie Belle's pussy ride Anon's dick.

"Ladies, there's no need to fight!" Anon assured them. "Just let me get up and I can make sure you're all happy!"

"Yeah, Sweet!" Scootaloo agreed. "We're supposed to share!"

Sweetie Belle huffed. "Fine, fine!" She got off of Anon to let him up from the table. He stood up and looked at the three of them, trying to make up a plan.

"Alright Bloom, since you're paying, you get in the middle of the table," Anon said. "You two on either side of her." It was a bit cramped, but they all managed to lay close together. "Okay, this is going to take a bit of coordination. But I'll need to start with Sweetie."

"But you said-" Apple Bloom started to complain but Anon shushed her.

"Trust me, you'll see," he assured her. He got a bit more lube from the pump and applied it to his other arm, and then a good amount to Sweetie's pussy and started fingering her, working more and more in. Apple Bloom smile as she realized what he was planning.

"Uh, ah, I'm not so sure about this," Sweetie said, watching more of his hand sliding in.

"What's that matter, Sweetie?" Scootaloo teased. "Chicken?" Apple Bloom snickered.

"It'll be alright, you'll see," Anon said. "If they can take it, so can you." Sweetie Belle felt the pressure building as the widest part of his hand felt like it was about to split her in half. Her breath hitched in her throat. She was about to scream when- "It's in," he said.

Sweetie Belle looked down at where he was up to his wrist in her vagina. She shifted her hips a little. "Oh. That wasn't so bad," she said. "It's actually pretty good."

"And it gets better," Anon said, working more of his arm inside while he started to play with Scootaloo's pussy on the other side of Apple Bloom. Scootaloo took his fist with much less resistance and complaint after birthing that massive apple twice.

Apple Bloom looked at her friends' bellies on either side of her. She placed her hooves over the bulges moving inside them like pistons.

"Don't think I've forgotten about you," Anon said, looking at Apple Bloom in front of him. She looked down at him rubbing the tip of his dick against her marehood. But he was unable to guide himself in given that his hands were full.

"Sweetie?" Apple Bloom asked. Sweetie Belle could barely focus her eyes while she was getting elbow-deep fist fucked. Anon paused just long enough for Sweetie to use her magic to guide Anon's dick into Apple's bloom. As soon as she did, he went right back thrusting his arm inside her.

Anon alternated the timing of his arms with his hips, slapping them balls-deep into Apple Bloom, adding her moans to the symphony of mare ecstasy, accompanied by the wet squelching noises of their pussies getting thoroughly plowed. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle each rolled onto their side towards Apple Bloom to kiss her, getting a bit of each other as they met.

"F- Fuck!" Anon grunted, "Ladies I uh, I'm about at my limit here so-"

"Give it to me!" Apple Bloom cried.

Anon slammed it home one last time and unloaded into the wanton mare to her moans of glee. Scootaloo realized what was happening and tried to get upright, wiggling herself off of Anon's arm and climbed over to sixty nine Apple Bloom. Her copious wetness drenched Apple Blooms face while Scootaloo licked at Apple Bloom's clit, where the base of Anon's dick was still firmly pressed.

Sweetie Belle shifted backwards against Anon, forcing him back and pulling out of Apple Bloom. He stepped back and she stood in front of Apple Bloom, licking deeply into her pussy to taste Anon's cum dripping out. She glance back at Anon. "I didn't say stop." Anon resumed fisting her as Scootaloo switched from licking his cum out of Apple Bloom, to sucking off Sweetie Belle's horn.

Sweetie moaned into Apple Bloom's pussy as she came from Anon's arm inside her, soaking the floor in a very unladylike way, and then she came again with a horngasm in Scootaloo's mouth, making clouds of O-zone waft out of her nose. Apple Bloom came yet again from the vibration of Sweetie's moans in her pussy, giving the both of them a fresh splash of apple creme cider.

Sweetie's legs gave out and she fell forward off of Anon's arm, sending him falling backwards onto the tile floor. Scootaloo was the first to scamper of the table over to him, followed by the others. The three of them gathered around him to lick and suck his dick, each of them in turn taking his whole length in their mouth, getting every last bit of his cum and Apple Bloom's juices, greedily fighting over who's mouth it got to be in.

"Ladies, ladies, stop! Please!" Anon begged. "It's too sensitive! I need a minute!"

There was a knock at the door.

"Meester Anon?" Lotus said, poking her head in, "Your next client is getting impatient." She pointed at the clock on the wall, well past this appointment's end time. "Oh, goodness!"

"Send help!" Anon whimpered from the floor as the three mares kept fighting over sucking his dick.

Lotus quickly grabbed the water hose. "Out! OUT!" she shouted as she sprayed the mares down, chasing them out into the lobby. "Get out! And please come again!"

Lotus rushed back into Anon's suite, helping him up to his feet. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Anon nodded and took the hose from her, turning on only a little to rehydrate. It tasted, as he expected, like hose water. After a minute he sighed and looked at Lotus.

"Well then..." Anon said, "Send in the next lucky mare."

Author's Note

1801002

16. Mayor Mare

"Well then..." Anon said, to Lotus "Send in the next lucky mare."

The blue spa pony shuffled her hooves nervously. "Yes, well, about that..." she started to say as Aloe walked past her with two folding chairs, placing them on either side of Anon's massage table. Lotus gave Anon his clipboard with his next appointment sheet before she turned and scurried out.

Anon glanced at the name. "Oh."

"Oh, indeed," his client said.

Anon looked back up at the doorway and greeted her, "Madam Mayor."

"Mister Anon," Mayor Mare returned the greeting in kind, if a bit curt. "Take a seat." It wasn't an offer. It was an imperative. "We need to talk."

"Fuck." If Anon had to count all the times a female said 'we need to talk' to him, about something good, he would need zero fingers. "What's this about?"

The beige earth pony silently motioned to the chair at the table and waited for him to comply. He sat down and she did the same in the opposite chair across from the table. Her grey mane shifted slightly as she took a thick file folder from her bag and plopped it onto the table in front of him. It was one of those old-fashioned folders that closed with a button and a length of thin string. Her bold, blue eyes looked at him over her spectacles resting on her nose as she slowly undid the string and flipped open the folder. Inside were innumerable invoices and receipts. Some of which Anon recognized.

"As you can see we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mister Anon," she said. "It seems that you've had quite a busy week."

"Has it been a week?" Anon asked.

Mayor Mare gave noncommittal hum as she looked at the invoices and compared them to the spreadsheet from her office. "Six days. But who's counting? Leave that to the bureaucratic bean counters in Town Hall. Oh... wait..." Mayor Mare's lips peeled back into a devious grin as she ran her hoof down the midline of her chest. She looked back at the stack of papers.

"This is an awful lot of unreported income," she said in an accusatory tone. "And what's this?" She presented a receipt as long as his arm and noted the total at the bottom. "A hefty sum spent in Canterlot at... The Crop?"

"Business expense," Anon said.

"Oh?"

He motioned to the shelves of 'tools' behind him.

"I imagine you'll be filing those as a tax deduction?" she asked, adjusting her glasses.

"That'd be nice."

"I bet," she said in an implying tone. She looked through a few more pages before she put them back and flipped the folder shut. "The deadline to file your taxes is the fifteenth of the month."

With how busy he had been, Anon had actually lost track of the date. "And today is?"

"After the fifteenth."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"Wait- Am I in trouble?" he asked.

"Well that depends. Trouble is such a vague, amorphous concept. A sliding scale. Degrees of trouble."

"Can't I- you know, file for an extension?" he asked.

Mayor Mare bit her lip and practically shivered at the word. "Oh, Anon, you rapscallion! Are you offering me a bribe?"

"What?"

"Are you propositioning a public official with sssexual favors in exchange to turn a blind eye to your tax evasion?"

"Uh-"

"Why just the thought of it is positively scandalous!" she gasped. "You'd be risking even more jail time and I'd be risking my entire political career if this ever left the room!"

"Wait, more jail time!?"

"Oh, you lecherous fiend! Striking at the height of the spring heat to take advantage of me in the throes of estrus, when I'm my most vulnerable! Why- if you were to try to seduce me now, I shan't think that I'd have the willpower to resist your masculine wiles!" She threw her hoof across her forehead dramatically. "Especially after having watched you ravage those poor mares on the day of your licensure!"

Anon rolled his eyes. "Okay. I see what's going on here. Look, why don't you just get up here and we can get on with it?" he asked, patting the massage table with his hand.

"Curse your psychic human powers!" she said, putting the folder back in her bag and getting up onto the massage table. "Alas, my tail flags so!" She said as she laid on her belly. "Why, at such a display, it would be of no effort for you take complete advantage of me, and I'd be utterly helpless to stop you from rutting me to completion! Such a fall from grace! For a mare of power to be brought low and degraded so, for dirty money! I'd be forced to endure your human penis sliding in and out of me for minutes! Several even!"

"Alright, slow your roll," Anon said. "Roleplay is fun and all, but you're laying it on a little thick."

"You're one to talk," she said, eyeing the bulge in his shorts.

"Okay, as I said," Anon pulled her tail downward to cover her marehood. "Slow your roll! Meatloaf!"

"What?"

"That's the safe-word; Meatloaf."

"What?"

"I would do anything for love, but I won't do that?"

"I don't get it."

"Fine. Whatever!" Anon huffed in frustration. The best safe-word ever, and it was useless in world that didn't understand the reference. "Look, you have a whole hour and you don't need to skip straight to the dicking." To say nothing of the fact that he was still recovering from his last trio of clients.

"I've seen how long you can last, Anon," Mayor Mare said, looking back at him over her shoulder and licking her lips. "I only regret that I couldn't have come over here straight away to book an appointment sooner."

"Okay, well, dial the dramatic flair back a bit. I think somebody has been reading too many erotic novels," he said.

"Well how do you like to unwind after a long day of work?"

"By doing-" Don't say Ketamine. Don't say Ketamine. Don't say Ketamine. "tax-deductible volunteer work for the local community?"

"Mmhf! You know just what to say to get my juices flowing, Anon!" she mewled. "You don't know how stressful it is running a whole town. This town of all towns!"

"Really? Ponyville seems pretty... boring, to be honest."

"Huh!" Mayor Mare scoffed. "You have no idea, then! Ever since that day when Twilight showed up, it's been a parade of disasters!"

"You mean the princess?" Anon asked.

"I mean from before she was even a princess!" Mayor Mare said, tilting her head from side to side, feeling a headache coming on just from the memories.

Anon stood beside her and placed his hands on her collar bones. "Whoa! Are you smuggling golf balls in your shoulders!? Your back has more knots than a diamond dog orgy! How much stress are you carrying!?"

Mayor Mare stared off a thousand yards into the distance. "There's not enough aspirin in the world for a headache as big as that mare..." She melted under Anon's skilled hands as he started to massage her muscles. "The day that she arrived in Ponyville, Princess Celestia went missing and Nightmare Moon tried to bring about eternal night! And then after that there was the Ursa Minor, the Dragon smoke, and the Parasprites!"

"I don't know what a pair of sprites is," Anon said.

"Count yourself lucky!" Mayor Mare said. "After that there was the first time Discord returned, and made Ponyville the chaos capital of the world."

"Yeah... We've met."

"Then there was the time Twilight enchanted her doll, Luna returned on Nightmare Night to terrorize everypony, and the time Spike turned into a giant dragon!"

"Twilight's Spike?"

"Yeah, but the size of a mountain!" she said. "Of course that wasn't as bad as when Trixie returned and enslaved the whole town to challenge Twilight to a magic duel. Or the other time Discord returned. Or the time Twilight switched all her friends' cutie marks around. But that was how she became a princess, after all."

"I don't follow."

"It's a long story. But even once she became a princess, that wasn't the end of it!"

"No?"

"Oh ho, no! Oh it only got worse! After that, the Everfree forest itself attacked the town! And the Tirek incident!"

"Oh yeah. I think I read about that one."

"Changed the very landscape! You can still see the scars in the land! Not to mention that eyesore of a castle!" she said.

"It's nice."

"It completely clashes with the rest of the town's aesthetic! And she doesn't even use it anymore now that she's in Canterlot! After that, a mere bugbear attack hardly even registered. But the entire town pulled together into a mass dream to fight a Tantabus was something I never thought could happen!"

"A what now?" he asked.

"Ask Princess Luna about it," she said. "Actually, better to not mention it."

"And you were mayor for all of that?" he asked as he kept massaging her shoulders.

"Mhmm," she said. "Still, as much of a pain as she was, better than to have had her, all her friends, and the princesses replaced by evil changelings."

"Evil?"

"Before the hive's reformation," she added. "And then she opened that new school in my town, which is stressful enough when everything goes right, which of course it didn't! So of course I had the Equestrian Education Association chancellor breathing down my neck! He was almost proven right when that accursed Cozy Glow nearly destroyed all the magic in Equestria!"

"Oh, right. The small one from the statue."

"Between her, Tirek and Chrysalis teaming up, they very nearly destroyed the world by bringing back the Windigos!" she said.

"So everyone keeps reminding me," Anon grumbled, thinking about Chrysalis back at his house.

"And of course all the many many things that have happened since Princess Celestia and Luna retired," Mayor Mare lamented. "Sure, Twilight and her friends get the glory saving the day. But who has to deal with all the paperwork!? Me!"

"Yeah, I can tell," Anon said, literally feeling the stress in her back. "So why stay mayor?" he asked.

"You say that like I have a choice," she said. "Did you hear any of what I just said? Nopony else wants this job. I've been running unopposed for the last twenty years!"

"You can resign, can't you?" he asked. "What about your deputy mayor?"

"You're massaging her," Mayor Mare said. "If I were to quit, it would be anarchy until there was a nationally-overseen referendum to appoint a new mayor. And until then, the leadership would fall to the senior-most townspony."

"Who would that be?" Anon asked.

"Take a wild guess."

"You?"

"Bingo."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Okay, the amount of stress in your shoulders is making a lot of sense right now. Why haven't you done anything about this sooner?" he asked before moving down along her back.

"Like what? Rig the lottery so I'm the one getting rutted for the stud permits every spring?" she asked.

Anon shrugged. "Seems fair, all things considered."

"Yeah well, you can only get away with that twice," she grumbled.

"Still though, you should be able to have at least one stud for yourself."

"On my salary!?" she scoffed. "I'm a civil servant!"

"Hold up! So what about this?" he asked.

"I'm giving you a tax break," she said.

"Wait, was that part for real? I thought that was your idea of foreplay!"

She shrugged. "Can't it be both?"

"Fine. How are you not married, though?" he asked.

"Hmmf!" Mayor Mare huffed. She crossed her hooves and laid her head into the crook of her elbow. "Most stallions are turned off by a mare with power."

"I... I'm not sure that's true," Anon said, focusing on her lumbar.

Mayor Mare groaned more in frustration than pleasure. "I guess it's not so much that as it is... the sort of stallions I attract are the ones looking for a dominant mare. They're obsessed with my hooves, or they want me to sit on their face until they forget what sunlight looks like. And yes, that's... fun."

"But...?"

"But I've had to be in a position of leadership for my entire adult life!" she complained. "For once I just want a stallion that will take charge! Be dominant! Tell me how it's gonna be! Maybe slap me around a little!"

"That doesn't sound particularly healthy. Violence isn't sexy."

"I don't mean like, actual abuse. Just a bit of spanking. Maybe a bit of strangling."

"What!?"

"Yeah. Not enough to make me pass out. But just enough to get me light-headed."

"But why!?"

Mayor Mare thought a moment. "I don't know. It's hard to explain. Like, I don't want to die having sex. But I also don't want to know for sure that I'm going to live either."

"Do you think that's what subconsciously keeps you the mayor of a town with constant disasters?" he asked.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "...Maybe."

He worked his way back up her back, double checking every muscle he had massaged out, up to her shoulders and neck. "There, how does that feel?" he asked.

Mayor Mare tilted her head from side to side. "It's like... it's like I finally got rid of a low-level headache that I've had for so long I didn't even realize it was there."

"Yeah, sweetie. That's a tension headache," Anon said.

"Well being rid of that has certainly helped to bring more pressing matters into focus," she said, flicking his side with her tail.

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yes," she breathed. "If some, much larger, much stronger creature were to overpower me, why, I don't think I'd be able to contain myself!"

"What? You mean if someone were to, say..." Anon pushed his palm against her upper back and leaned his weight onto her. "Pin the Mayor of Ponyville down like this?"

"Why I'd be quite immobilized!" she said. "Powerless to stop them from enacting whatever dark desires they might have upon my poor, helpless body!"

Anon wiggled his fingers on his other hand. "You'd be in quite a bit of trouble if they had a second hand like this."

"I certainly would be!" she said. "Why, they could take those wiggly digits and violate me! Anywhere at all, really!"

"Like in here?" Anon asked, running a finger up and down along her marehood before dipping it into the entrance of her hot vagina.

"I'd be scared that they wouldn't just stop at one."

"Oh, I'm quite sure that they wouldn't!" Anon said, adding another finger, and then a third while he used his thumb to play with her clitoris. Getting his forth finger inside her was a bit of an effort. "Quite a snug fit. It really has been a long time since you've had a stud, huh?"

"Far too long," she breathed.

"Is this a hot button issue for you?" he asked, making small circles on her clit with his thumb. He did little curling motions with his fingers inside her at the same time and with a small squeeze, her pussy leaked more lubricant down along his wrist and forearm. Her legs trembled and made small, fruitless kicks as she moaned into her elbow. "Is the mayor struggling with these hard-hitting questions?" She could only nod as she tried to stifle her moaning. Anon took his thumb from her clit and added it to his other fingers. Her pussy stretched around the widest part as he slowly pushed it inside. "This unseen hand is about to become an inside job!"

Mayor Mare could not silence her cry as his wrist slipped inside her.

"How does it feel being ruled with an iron fist?" he asked, sinking more of his forearm into her. "Maybe I'll just walk around town with you on my arm like a puppet government!"

"The scandal!" Mayor Mare cried out. "I'd never get elected again!"

"Oh I'm sure you'd still get your ballot box stuffed!" he said as he worked the length of his forearm in and out of her, moving his balled fist back and forth across her g-spot. He took his other arm and wrapped it around her waist to keep playing with her clit.

Mayor Mare could hardly keep herself composed. "All jokes aside, Anon, this really is wonderful. Honestly, I was just expecting you to dick me down for a few minutes, but this-!" she bit her lip as she came again, spurting out onto his elbow and dripping down onto the padding of the massage table. "You've no idea what a lost art that foreplay is on those other stallions."

"So I've heard. What about when you're 'sitting on their face'?" he asked.

She scoffed. "You can lead a stallion to water, but you can't expect him to know how to drink it correctly. All the ones who know how to do it well have all been snatched up and married."

"No on-the-job training?" he asked.

"I'm a busy mare! I have neither the time nor the inclination to tutor stallions that weren't raised right!"

"Raised right!?" Anon asked. "You don't mean to imply that mothers should be teaching their colts the finer points of going down on a mare, do you?"

"The mares could at least teach their husbands properly if you think that's more of a father-son lesson. It's not like I could get it to be added to the public school curriculum," she said. "And believe me, I tried. But the P.T.A. shot that one down quick! My foals' sexual education is my responsibility, they'd say. Yeah, well, you're doing a shitty job of it!"

The idea of his father teaching him how to eat carpet made Anon's skin crawl. "Maybe it could be a continuing-education course for stallions? Like, a course certification to give studs a better ranking? I'm sure you could get them to swallow their pride and take a course for a pay raise."

"Anon, that's brilliant! You could teach them how to be better studs!" she said.

Anon froze. "Wait, what!? No! Not me!"

Mayor Mare wiggled her rump at him, prompting him to keep going. The room was once again filled with the wet squelches of him fist-fucking her, elbow-deep in her pussy. "Ngh! I can think of nopony more qualified in pleasing a mare," she said. "And as much as I attract submissive hoof-lickers, most stallions don't like to be told how to do their job by a mare. But they respect you. I mean, they also hate you, but that's born more out of envy than anything else."

"That's not really making me feel better about this..." he said.

"We can charge a fee at the door, and I could subsidize the course with the revenue from the issued stud permits," she said. "You'd get your hourly rate for every seat that gets filled. If all thirty of the other Ponyville studs show up, well, you do the math!"

"Almost a week's pay in one evening..." Anon contemplated. "I... I'll think about it."

"Yes, well, you've been filly-bustering this mare long enough. I think it's about time we yay and neigh. What say we get out your knobbiest lobbyist?"

"Heh. I bet you're used to getting what you want," he said as he slowly pulled his arm out of her.

"Not as much as you'd think," she said as her hoof reached back and rubbed the bulge in his pants, bringing him to full mast.

Anon pulled off his pants and his hard dick sprang free, bobbing at her. "Well, you've managed to rig this erection."

Mayor Mare's eyes went wide. "That's bigger than I remember!"

Anon thought about trying to explain the incredible, magic properties of Celestia 'yonic temple', but decided it would be easier and faster to just say, "What can I say? It was a bit drafty that day in Town Hall."

"I'll have to retake your measurements," she said, licking her lips. "F- for posterity of course."

"Of course. But maybe later," Anon said. "Right now the only thing you'll be taking is-" Anon grabbed a fistful of her mane and shoved her face against the massage table, "...is some exit polling!" Mayor Mare yelped in surprise as he pushed his dick into her tight, puckered, inner circle. "How's this for a back-door deal?"

"How absolutely degrading!" she moaned in faux disgust as Anon sank the full length of his congressional probe into her refer-rectum. "Such a gross misuse of government assets!"

Anon gave her rump a firm slap, hard enough to leave a pink hand-print. Her vacant pussy winked and squirted against his balls as they slapped against her clit with every thrust, getting her to cum during anal sex in yet another first for her. He grabbed the base of her tail and pulled her ass back against him to meet his every thrust as he fucked her harder.

"Heh! Usually the government is the one fucking me in the ass," Anon said, watching her thick flank ripple every time he slapped his hips against hers. "Good luck being a sitting mayor after this!" Staying non-partisan, he reached across the divide to give a deserving slap to both the left and right side of her ass. "Get ready for me to deposit some soft cummy in your off-shore spank account!"

Mayor Mare's tongue lolled out of her mouth along with a loud, whorish moan as she came again. Her pussy gushed once more against his draining balls as she felt him throbbing and pulsing deep inside her ass, pumping her colon full. His grip on her mane relaxed and she just laid there panting. She could feel his cock still beating with his bounding heartrate, just as he could feel hers in her gripping o-ring.

While still plugged, she reached into her bag and grabbed his folder again, fishing out a form from the back along with a pen.

"What's this?" he asked, looking at it over her shoulder.

"It's a standard Double Yew Two form," she said, nudging the pen towards him. "Sign at the bottom, and report your earnings next year."

"Standard form?"

"Yeah. Aloe or Lotus should have had you fill one out. Or you could have picked one up from town hall."

"Wait? So you mean I'm not in trouble for tax evasion and all that other stuff?

"I... mayor may not have been fibbing about that."

"So I didn't need to exchange sexual favors and all that stuff we just did to stay out of jail?"

Mayor Mare shook her head, adjusted her glasses, and smiled. "No. But aren't you glad we did anyway? Now if you would..?" She shooed him to back away with a wave of her hoof. Anon backed off from where he was pinning her against the table and pulled his dick out of her ass. He wiped his government cumspiracy on her tail. She slid off the table and looked at the off-white stains in her off-white tail "Really, Anon? A smear campaign?"

Anon nodded dismissively at her. "Madam Mayor."

"Mister Anon." Mayor Mare grabbed her bag and exited the closed-door negotiations with a new partisan leaning.

Anon grinned as he watched the politician walking crooked.

"It suits her."

Author's Note

You can't fight Town Hall, Anon.
But you can fuck it.

I regret none of these political pundits.
2328011

17. Gabby

Anon watched from his massage suite as Mayor Mare walked funny through the spa lobby to the exit. When she opened the door to leave, he could hear some commotion going on just outside. As much as he enjoyed his popularity- well, maybe 'enjoyed' was a strong word. As much as he prided himself on his job, he didn't want anypony getting hurt on his account. The last thing he needed was a riot of horny mares brawling outside.

Rushing outside, he didn't find a brawl, or an orgy. At least, he didn't think so. After having gotten kicked out with a water hose, his previous clients, the Cutie Mark Crusaders had gotten tackled by some kind of cat-bird thing. And now it looked like it was trying to squeeze the life out of them.

"Gabby! Let go!" Apple Bloom wheezed in the hug with her other two friends.

"Ooh, hoo, hoo! Look at you three!" Gabby squealed. "Did you just get Anon's happy ending!?"

"We-" Scootaloo tried to say.

"Oh I bet you did! Look at you, you're dripping wet!"

"Well, we-" Sweetie Belle squeaked before Gabby squeezed them again.

"You got his deep tissue massage? Did it help with your heat!?" Gabby let them go just long enough to pick up Apple Bloom again and look at her backside. "Ooh hoo! Look at you! Oh, he creampied you good, didn't he!?" Gabby was about to dip one of her claws into her pussy.

"Gabby, we talked about this! Bad touch!" Apple Bloom shrieked. Sweetie Belle's magic slapped Gabby's hand away and pulled Apple Bloom free.

"Anon, help!" Scootaloo cried.

"Anon!?" Gabby squealed. Her head turned all the way around like an owl to look at him and the rest of her body spun in place to follow. With a leap and a flap of her wings, she bounded into the air and pounced on him, pinning him on the ground. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It's you! Look at you! You look just like everypony said!" Anon was still not sure if that was a compliment or not. Despite pinning him down, the winged gryphon was built for flight like a pegasus, and didn't weigh that much. He lifted his hands up to push her off of him with a little effort. Standing beside him she grabbed one of his hands with her talons, inspecting his fingers. "Oh I bet these feel amazing!" She pulled him along back inside the spa. "Come on come on let's go!"

"Wait, I can't just-" Anon looked at the line of waiting mares.

"Ah, Miss Gabby," Aloe greeted in the lobby. "You're just in time for your appointment!"

"I know!" Gabby said. "I thought I was going to be late for my appointment because I had a lot of mail to deliver today but I did it really fast and came over here as fast as I could and I saw my friends outside and almost was late again but then I wasn't and oh my gosh I'm so excited!"

"Okay, so I guess you are my next appointment," Anon said as she pulled him back through the lobby to his suite. Her tailed flicked his door closed.

"All right, let's do this!" she cheered as she hopped up onto the table and waggled her rump at him. She made a fist with her claws and made a punching motion. "Go ahead and get right on in there! And maybe do like a... windmill!" She spread her palm out and spun her wrist quickly like she was aggressively waving hello.

Anon didn't even have a vagina and it still made him wince. He walked around to the other side to stand in front of her. On the wall he checked her name on his appointments clipboard and sighed. "Look, Gabriel, I-"

"Oh, you can just call me Gabby! Everypony calls me Gabby. Well- all my friends call me Gabby! But everypony is my friend, so it's true too when I say everypony calls me Gabby!"

"Gee, I wonder why..." Anon muttered.

"Yeah, only my dad called me Gabriel. So you really shouldn't call me Gabriel because it's not like I'm into that sort of thing where I call you Daddy and I've been a bad little gryphling. I mean unless you're into that sort of thing. Because if you're into that sort of thing then I'm totally into that sort of thing, Anon- I mean, Daddy! I've been a bad little gryphling! Mommy flew the coop and now I have to do the wifely duties! Are you gonna bend me over your lap and sp-mmmfph!?"

Anon grabbed her beak and held it closed with his hand. His his other hand he opened the nearby cabinet and grabbed a bottle of aspirin. Fuck, I am too sober for this bullshit... He tossed back a couple tablets for the headache he could feel brewing. He'd heard somewhere that being able to swallow them without a drink was a bad sign. Oh well, fuck it. "Are all gryphons this chatty?" he asked.

She shook her head, "Mm-mmm."

"Yeah I didn't think so. The only other one I met was Twilight's guard there... Greg- er Gallium or whatever."

She wiggled herself free of his hand. "You know Gallus!? Oh my gosh, that's so cool! He's like, a celebrity back in Gryphonstone! Princess Twilight Sparkle's bodyguard! I haven't seen him since he was a student at Twilight Sparkle's School of Friendship! What's he like now? Is he cool? I bet he's cool. How cool is he? Do you think he's into older gryphons?"

Anon grabbed her beak again. "It's not even noon. How does anyone have this much energy? What the shit are you on, and can I please have some?"

"Mm-mhn-mh-mfff." Anon let go of her beak. "On? I'm on a table, silly."

Anon rolled his eyes. I don't know what I expected. "I meant what you have in your system."

"Well, hopefully you soon."

"I..." Anon trailed off and shrugged. "You know what? I can't even be mad. That was slick as fuck."

"Boy I sure am!" she said excitedly rubbing her legs together. "Speaking of! Let me tell you about the time I-" Anon reached for her beak again. "Okay, okay! I get it!" She grabbed the hem of his shorts. "Would you rather I use my mouth for something else?" she winked and snapped her beak at him few times.

"Hard pass!" Anon said.

"I'm really good, look!" she grabbed his hand and sucked one of his fingers, licking it with her tongue.

Anon snapped his hand away. "Gah! Your tongue is like sandpaper!"

"Thank you!" Gabby squealed. "Just imagine that on your pecker!"

"I- I don't want to." Anon felt his dick almost go from an outty to an inny. "And anyway, why are you even here? Do gryphons even have estrus?"

"Oh, we for sure do!" she said. "We're half eagle, and half lion." She patted her furry rump. "And the lion half goes into heat just like all cats do!"

Anon scratched his head. "Huh. I guess that makes sense."

"Yeah so, anyways..." Gabby urged, wiggling her hips again.

"And I thought I was impatient..." Anon grumbled. "You don't even want to be preened or anything?"

"You do that too? Dash didn't mention that!"

"Well, I don't remember doing that for her."

"Makes sense," Gabby said, tapping her chin with a talon. "She's pretty compulsive about keeping her wings in top form." She actually blushed. "I'm just surprised that any pegasus would let you do that. It just seems so intimate!"

Anon was confused. "Wait a minute. A second ago you were ready for my to shove my arm up your twat, but preening you is too intimate?"

Her blush only deepened. "It's different getting rut by a stud or gryphor."

"A gryphor?" Anon asked.

"A male gryphon," she explained. "And a female is a gryphoness," she answered before he could ask. "But my point is that's purely a physical exchange. Preening on the other talon is usually reserved for monogamous, partners in long-term relationships. Once a mother teaches her fledglings, its usually a solitary act."

"Like wiping your butt?"

"You wipe your spouse's butt?" she asked.

"I meant about it being a solitary act!"

"Oh. Okay. But would you?" she asked.

"Would I what?"

"Wipe your spouse's butt?" she repeated.

"Not if I didn't have to."

"Okay, but what if you had to? Wouldn't you want them to do that for you if you couldn't? Like if you were paralyzed or lost your forelegs?"

"Arms, by the way," Anon said, pointing at his upper limbs. "And if I was ever in a state where I was no longer capable of wiping my own ass, I would hope that someone would love me enough to smother me with a pillow and end my living hell."

"Geez, Anon! Don't you think that's kinda dark?"

"You asked!"

"Okay, what if it was just temporary?" she asked. "Like if they ate a Konlabos fruit, and they were paralyzed for a day before they went back to normal. And then during that time, they needed their butt wiped for them, would you do it?"

"And there's no nurse or anyone else around I could pay to do it?"

"Yeah."

"In that incredibly specific scenario?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Anon rubbed his chin, giving the hypothetical serious contemplation. He imagined his beloved spouse, laying there, paralyzed in bed, needing the most intimate of care. "Nah. Fuck em! They can wipe their own ass when their arms work again."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Hey, if my questions frighten you, then don't ask scary questions!"

"What if you had cubs someday and have to change diapers?"

"Do you see any other humans wandering around in this world?"

"What if you adopted?"

"I wouldn't."

"But what if you did?"

"If I somehow damaged my brain enough from drinking a can of varnish to think that was an attractive idea, I'd still at least make sure they were house-broken."

"Hey! Adopting is a very noble-"

Anon shouted to interrupt her, "How did we even get on this!?"

"Butt wiping."

Anon groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. There wasn't enough aspirin in Equestria for an annoyance as big as this catbird. "Okay. Fine. That one's on me." He mentally parkoured backwards through the conversation. "So no preening then?" She nodded. "Fine. It's just as well," he said, glancing at the wall clock. "We wasted enough time playing twenty questions. So, alright, this is still new territory for me. You're my first non-equine customer. Is it like a cloaca or something under there?"

"Don't be silly, Anon! I don't have a weird lizzer hole like a dragon."

"What? You mean like Spike?" he asked. She nodded. "Whatever. So what are we working with under here?" he asked as he lifted her tail.

Unlike the Spanish-exclamation-mark mare genitals he was used to seeing, Gabby's backside was more subtle in its features. Instead of a pronounced ponut ring of muscle, her anus was a simple pucker that looked closer to that of a human's. But her vagina was strikingly unique from either species. It wasn't the teardrop shape of a mare, or the puffy lips of a woman. It was almost triangular in its shape, with a forking cleave that made its shape look more like a fortune cookie. It was a darker shade of grey than her surrounding fur, closer to the color of her wings, and the tuft of fur at the tip of her tail. And compared to a mare's, it looked noticeably smaller.

He looked back and forth between her small nethers and the size of his thick arm. "Um, I actually think my dick should be enough."

"Oh?" She shrugged. "Well, you're the professional."

Anon didn't especially feel like a professional at that moment. But duty called. He pulled down his shorts and applied some lube to his penis, using the remainder on his fingers to probe around her gryphoness bits. The architecture was a simple-enough funnel shape leading to her centrally-located entrance. Still, he couldn't get over how much her back half looked like a cat's. But that was okay, Anon decided. A cat is fine, too.

Anon stuck his dick in and shrieked.

He pulled his dick out and shrieked louder. It felt like he had just given his dick a rug-burn. "It's like sandpaper!" he cried, cradling his reddened manhood gingerly in his hand.

"Well, yeah, from all the calluses," Gabby said.

"What?"

"Yeah, from getting scratched up so much."

"What!?"

"Just deploy your penis barbs."

"What the fuck!?"

Gabby rolled her eyes and turned around to look at his penis. She gave him a raised eyebrow. "What's wrong with your dick? It doesn't even have barbs!"

"Speak for yourself! It was like trying to fuck a desert in there!" Anon pulled up his shorts and shuffled away to grab one of the smaller toys off the shelf and load it with cum lube.

"It's plenty wet," she said.

"That's subjective," he said. "Turn around." Gabby did as he said and he stuck the tip of the toy inside her before depressing the plunger to pump the lube inside. He put the toy in the to-be-washed bin and came back to the massage table. A steady stream of the viscous lube was dripping out of her. "Alright, let's check it now." He stuck two fingers in and felt around. She was surely lubricated. But the wetness of an ocean didn't matter when it felt like he was fingering the sand at the bottom of it.

He pulled his fingers out and turned around to go through another storage bin. He fished out a box and grabbed one of the foil packets inside. Without gloves for his hand shape, a stallion condom would have to do.

"Alright. This'll have to do," he said, with his fingers making a coned tip to the rubber cylinder. He put two fingers back inside her. He could still feel her course texture, but at least it wasn't his skin getting the abrasion. She easily took three and then four fingers, easily stretching to an obscene degree for its small starting appearance.

Are you alright?" he asked. She nodded. Anon added his thumb and the rest of his hand slid inside her thoroughly-lubricated pussy. "Um, don't take this the wrong way, but you're really stretchy."

She snorted. "Well, duh! We have to be, to lay eggs."

"Gryphons lay eggs?"

"Yeah."

"Do green gryphons lay green eggs?" Anon asked.

Gabby scratched her chin. "I don't think so. But Greta is green-ish. I'll have to ask her the next time I see her."

Even through the rubber, he could still feel the course texture of her vagina. But at least now he wasn't giving his arm a rug burn. But Gabby, for her part was looking bored.

"So are you sure you want me to be..." he mimicked her waving motion with his free hand, spreading out his fingers.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Anything like that. Whatever gets your claws into the mix."

"Claws?" Anon asked, looking at his fingernails, which he always kept closely trimmed as a courtesy. With his other hand inside her he did his best to spread out his fingers and 'claw' at her insides through the rubber. She seemed pleased at first with the development, but that faded back into boredom, with just a hint of annoyance.

"Hey, Anon, I'm not trying to be grumpy gryph... But is this part of your foreplay, where you pretend to not be good at this?" she asked.

"Hey, I'm trying!" he said. "I told you, I've never had a gryphon before. This is new territory for me."

"Well, I really need it to be rougher," she said. "Not like, violent rougher. Like, texture-wise."

Anon looked at everything on his 'tool' shelves. As exotic as some of them were, they all came from a pony sex shop. He realized he would have to improvise.

"Wait here," he said. Anon pulled his arm out of her and walked out of the suite into the spa lobby.

In the waiting area, Spike the dragon was taking a letter from another mare to bring back to Princess Twilight in Canterlot. "Oh, is it my turn already? she asked.

Aloe did a double take seeing Anon, and looked at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was still early. "Is everything alright?" she asked. He shook his head without a word and went over to dig around in the supply closet. Gabby poked her head out of the suite and saw the dragon.

"Oh, hi Spike!" she called out and waved. He waved back politely. "Do you still have that barbed penis of yours?"

The pony next to him snickered. "Too loud, Gabby!" Spike scolded. "Too loud and too personal!"

"Ah ha! I have it!" Anon said triumphantly. He shooed Gabby back inside the suite as he put on the exfoliating mitt. The outside was as course as sandpaper. He made a few thrusting motions with it. Though it was shaped to be worn on a pony's hoof, it would suit his needs just fine.

"Anon, what in Equestria are you doing!?" Lotus asked.

Anon looked back at her dead in the eyes and said with all seriousness, "My job." And then he closed the door to the suite. Gabby hopped back up onto the table with cautious excitement. Anon brandished the mitt at her. "You wanna play rough! Okay! Say hello to my little friend!" He lifted her tail with his bare hand, and pushed the sandpaper mitt inside. Everything about the situation made him cringe.

But Gabby was clearly loving it. Her bird-half trilled with happy bird noises and her cat half vibrated at a sub-sonic frequency. He could make a pussy purr with a stroke of his hand. He had that cat-snatch fever. The tabletop's vinyl padding was put to the test as her talons gripped the corners of it. Her body trembled and shook as she finally got her long-awaited climax after so much frustrating edging. Anon could feel his success in her pussy quivering around his fist as kept going.

And then Gabby started to feel something. Something that she hadn't felt in forever. Pain. The exfoliating mitt had done its job, smoothing away the rough calluses of a vagina abused from years of barbed gryphon peckers. It reminded the gryphoness of what it was like the very first time she ever had sex. It made her feel... like a virgin.

"Anon, stop!" she begged. "I feel... It- it actually hurts."

Anon stopped at once. "But I thought you liked that," he said.

"It's not the good kind of hurt," she said. "Not anymore."

Anon pulled his hand out of the glove, still inside her. And then he tried his best to cup the glove in his hand to take it out. Putting his bare hand back inside, he was astonished to find that her rough interior was now just as smooth as any other. The simple contours of his hand, his knuckles and wrist made her squirm with fresh pleasure.

"I can feel that!" she said with surprised delight.

"You're ready." Anon pulled his pants back down and applied some fresh lube to his dick. He lined her up and pulled her hips back to meet his thrusting forward.

"Oh! Oh wow! I can FEEL that!" she squealed from her renewed sensitivity. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh! Let me roll over for this!"

Anon stopped just long enough for her to get her wings folded and roll over on the table. As soon as he started again, she grabbed his hands from her hips and moved them to her furry belly. He needed no further instruction and gave her belly rubs while he fucked her. She pressed her hind paws against his chest. He felt her claws against his skin. His hands grabbed her by the beans and moved them away. It was like having eight knives pointed at him.

"Retract those fuckers right now!" he shouted.

"S-sorry. I can't really control them."

He moved her legs under his arm pits to keep them immobilized behind him long enough to finish up. Which wouldn't be much longer at all. He got back to rubbing her belly and her whole body just vibrated harder. Now that the sandpaper vagina issue was smoothed over it was almost better than fucking a pony. "Shit, I should set up shop in Gryphonstone!"

"Oh yeah!" Gabby said between panting. "This'd be sure to improve their moods!"

Anon's thrusts became faster and more erratic before he hilted himself one final time to cum inside her and douse the flames of her heat.

"Hmm," Gabby hummed in tune with her satisfied purring. Her tail wrapped around one of his legs to hold him close while she felt him pumping his seed into her. She could feel the ache of her estrus melting away as his powerful hormones permeated into her bloodstream.

"Satisfaction guaranteed," he whispered.

A couple minutes later she finally let go of him to pull out and start washing up. As he did, Gabby sat up on the table. A moment later, she hunched over and groaned, clutching her belly. "Oh, ugh, Anon! I- I think I'm-"

"What? What's going on!?" Anon asked.

"It's coming!" she cried and started breathing fast. She laid back down and spread her legs. "The baby is coming!"

"What, what, WHAT!?" Anon spun on his heel and threw open the door. "I need a doctor!"

"Anon! There's no time! Come quick!" Gabby cried. Anon moved between her legs as she pushed. Her pussy bulged and stretched as it started to crown. The appropriately eggshell-colored eggshell appeared and grew larger as she pushed. With one final grunt she squeezed it out into Anon's nervous, waiting hands.

She sat up and composed herself while Anon held the egg in his hands with great care.

"Congratulation, Anon! You're gonna be a daddy!"

"I'm gonna be a daddy!?" Anon asked. He looked at the crowd gathering outside his suite doorway.

"Yeah!" Gabby said. "Hold it up to your ear and you can probably hear the heartbeat!" Anon held the egg up to his ear. Gabby slapped his hand as hard as she could, splattering the egg against the side of his face. "Sike! Geez Anon, it takes more than a few seconds to fertilize an egg!" She laughed hysterically before trotting out of the spa.

Lotus fetched Anon a towel while Spike walked through the crowd to put his hand on Anon's shoulder. "Don't feel too bad, Anon. Gabby pulled the same prank on me too the first time."

Anon stood there with literal egg on his face and looked at the crowd of ponies in the waiting area outside his suite. He toweled off with a sigh. "Alright. Who's next?"

That evening when Anon got home, Chrysalis met him at the door. Her usual, annoyed demeanor and resting bitch face were absent. She seemed almost happy to see him come home.

"Should I get dinner ready?" she asked.

Anon waved her off, "Nah, I think I've had enough egg for one day," he said as he settled onto the couch.

"Rough day at work?" she asked.

He scoffed. "Yeah. You would not believe the day I've had!" Chrysalis grabbed two bottles of cider from the fridge and sat down next to Anon. He took them both. "And you already opened them for me!" he said, taking a deep swig.

"Yeah, well, I was getting a little tired of you using my horn."

"You said it didn't hurt."

"Yeah, but it still felt... demeaning."

"Maybe that first time. But after that it was meant to be endearing."

Chrysalis snorted. "So tell me about your day."

"Well, at one point I thought I was going to be a father and then I got slapped in the face with an egg."

"Your first time with a gryphon, I take it?" she asked.

Anon cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a common thing?" he asked.

Chrysalis nodded. "Yeah. When a gryphon male loses their virginity. They call it getting shelled." Anon gave her a curious look. "What? You don't travel the world as much as I have without picking up a little bit of the culture." Anon belched at her. She rolled her eyes. "You could use some yourself."

Anon sat there and made love to his bottle of cider. Chrysalis sat beside him in the relative quiet, enjoying his latent affection. She shifted just a bit closer to touch his thigh with hers. If Anon noticed, he made no effort to move away.

"Hey Chryssi, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

Anon chuckled. He couldn't be mad at his own wit being thrown back at him. "Let's say hypothetically I was paralyzed, and I wasn't able to wipe my own ass, would you do it for me?"

Chrysalis turned and looked him dead in the face. "Anon, if you ever ask me to wipe your ass for you, I will smother you with a fucking pillow!" She threw a couch cushion at him and stormed off to her bedroom. "Weirdo!"

Anon just sipped his drink and smiled.

Author's Note

1246597

18. Starlight Glimmer

After a long day of work at the spa, Anon was enjoying a well-deserved drink when there was a knock at the door.

"Chryssi, can you get that?" he asked.

Chrysalis shouted from the bedroom, "You know damn well that I can't, you dick!"

Anon snickered and got up to answer the door. There was a pony on the other side to no surprise. "Um, hello? Do I know you from somewhere?" he asked the mare.

"I was at the spa earlier today with Spike," the unicorn said.

"Ah yes, I recognize you now," Anon said. "But I would have remembered if you'd had an appointment."

"I did have an appointment," she said, "But it's been rescheduled. You see, I had a meeting with Mayor Mare just after your little... encounter, and she told me about the great idea that you had."

Anon raised a dubious eyebrow. "I had a great idea?"

"Well, you plural."

"Anon, who are you talking to?" Chrysalis asked from inside the house. She walked into the kitchen to see the doorway. "Oh. It's you."

"Chrysalis."

"Starlight Glimmer."

Starlight looked at Anon, "May I come inside?"

Anon smirked. "Heh, I'm usually the one asking that." Neither of them laughed. Anon stepped aside from the doorway to let her in.

She strode over to Chrysalis who winced as Starlight brought her hoof back. Anon grabbed it to stop her, mid-punch.

"Hey! NO! No more of that!" Anon shouted. "Look, I know Chryssi did some bad things in the past, but she's paid her due! So you tell the mayor, the princess and everypony that nopony is gonna be hitting her anymore! Or they'll be getting a fist back from me!" Starlight tilted her head. "And not in the fun way! So if you came all this way just for that then you can just go fuck right off!" With Starlight's hoof still in his grip, he dragged her back outside and closed the door after him as Chrysalis looked on with misty eyes.

Anon shoved Starlight away and stood on his door stoop with his arms crossed.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't come here for that," Starlight said. "The mayor sent me to escort you."

"What? I thought all that tax evasion talk was just roleplay!" he said.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said as she started walking. "I'm just here to bring you to the school for your class."

"What?" Anon asked as he followed after her. "I didn't sign up for any class. The fuck else do I need to learn?" he asked.

"Oh, no-no, you misunderstand, Anon. You're to be the teacher."

"Whu!?" Anon balked. "Right now? I'm not prepared for this!"

Starlight smirked. "As Mayor Mare tells it, you are supremely prepared for this."

Though it was well after hours, the Ponyville School of Friendship was still lit up with activity. A lithe, orange dragon greeted them at the entrance. Standing upright, she was up to Anon's shoulders, but Anon still had to look up at her, laying recumbent on the door frame adornments.

"Is that him?" she asked.

"Yes, this is Anon," Starlight introduced. "Anon, this is Smolder."

"Hey," Anon greeted. Smolder's eyes scanned over him briefly and they regarded eachother with barely more than an academic interest. Anon was hardly the most interesting creature she had seen in her travels, and it wasn't the first time he had seen a dragon. She looked similar enough to Spike with only the barest feminine traits. Her voice was only a bit higher than his, but it was still gruff-sounding. Likely from breathing smoke all day, he reasoned. "I guess I'll see you around?"

Smolder snorted. "Estrus is a pony problem. Not one that dragons have."

"What do dragons have?" he asked.

"Whatever we want!" she said, giving him a toothy grin that was somewhere between threatening and sultry. Either way it looked equally predatory.

Inside the school, Anon leaned over to Starlight, "Should I be concerned?"

Starlight dismissed his question with a wave of her hoof, "Oh, don't worry about her. She's just being playful. All bark and no bite. Probably."

At the other end of the hall, the last couple of ponies finished signing in and went inside the classroom. The attendant at the door finished organizing the last of the applicants' forms.

Starlight asked, "Did everypony sign in, Ocellus?"

Ocellus nodded, barely giving the biped a second glance. Anon looked the strange creature up and down, similar in size to Starlight. "What? Never seen a changeling before?" she asked.

"Actually-" Starlight started to say, but Anon interrupted.

"Yes, but she looks quite a bit different," he said.

"A changeling that looks different!?" Ocellus said with excessive melodrama, holding her hoof over her mouth with faux shock.

"Actually-" Starlight interjected again, "Anon is currently the caretaker of Chrysalis."

"Oh? OH!" Ocellus's compound eyes went as wide as dinner plates and the light blue hue of her chitin turned a whiter shade of pale. "So is she still... you know...?" In a flash of green magic, Ocellus shapeshifted into the blackened, porous style that Anon was familiar with seeing on Chrysalis, before she quickly changed back, clearly uncomfortable with wearing the look.

"Uh... yeah," Anon answered. Ocellus just frowned.

"Let's not get off track, Anon," Starlight said, "You still have a class to teach."

Anon nodded. "Right, well, let's get this over with so I can go home and get back to killing my liver."

Starlight opened the doors to let Ocellus inside but blocked Anon for a moment, lowering her voice. "Anon, listen, I know you're mostly used to dealing with mares. And from what everypony has told me, your personality is suited for it. You're kind, considerate, you care, you listen. But with these stallions..." she trailed off. "There's a lot of testosterone in that room. And the only thing they'll respect is somepony with more of it. You have to be the big dick in the room."

"But I'm not-"

"You have to ACT like the big dick in the room! You have to be the boss! So you're going to need to dig down and find that Alpha Male energy to get through to them."

"You know the whole 'alpha wolf' thing isn't real, right?"

Starlight sucked in a frustrated breath. "Okay, you see, that right there-" She held her tongue. "Look, we're out of time so- Just... do the best you can." She opened the door and led Anon down the middle aisle of the packed, auditorium-style lecture hall. Every seat was filled except for one in the front row.

Anon was in awe. "There's got to be like three hundred stallions in here!"

Starlight nodded. "Studs from all over Equestria. Word travels fast among mares this time of year, especially when it comes to a good lay. And anything that can get the local talent more... well, talented. Ever since Mayor Mare sent out the message, the train station arrivals were non-stop. Nothing motivates a stallion like bits, and mare-bits."

Starlight directed Anon to take a seat beside the lectern as she turned on the microphone.

"Good evening, gentlecolts," she greeted. "Welcome to the Ponyville School of Friendship. I'm Headmare Starlight Glimmer. I'll be your hostess for the evening. Now we all know why we're here. Upon completion of this course you'll all get a rate bonus certification on your studding permits." Starlight motioned to Mayor Mare, standing off to the side of the room with her official notary stamp. She gave Anon a little wave and a goofy grin. Anon gave a small, quick wave back.

"Now I know you're all very busy, getting busy, this time of year," Starlight continued. "So let's not waste any time. I present to you, your instructor for the evening, Professor Anon!"

"Professor?" he asked. She waved him over to the microphone as she moved aside. Anon stood at the lectern, adjusted the microphone and cleared his throat. He looked out at the crowd of stallions. Three hundred pairs of eyes glared back at the hairless ape that was putting them out of a job. "Um, hello."

"Needle-Dick!" one of the stallions jeered.
"Boo-Kill-Yourself!"

Mayor Mare rushed over and grabbed the mic, "Not another word!" she shouted, "The next heckler will get their permit revoked forever! Do you colts understand!?" she glared at the crowd of silent stallions, leaning away in their seats. She screamed, "I asked you shitheads a FUCKING question!"

"Yes ma'am!" they all answered obediently.

Mayor Mare looked at Anon and her anger vanished back into a warm, sweet smile, giving him a peck on the cheek. "They're all yours, sweetie," she said before walking back to her seat off to the side.

"Good evening," Anon started again, trying to not let the fresh terror come through in his voice. "I... I know you guys don't particularly like me. And I don't blame you, I- I get it. Some super-powered alien freak from another dimension shows up in your world and suddenly all the ladies are creaming themselves over him. It's not fair. But guys, listen, I never asked for this, okay? There's nothing special about what I do, that you guys can't learn. And that's what tonight is about, okay? It's not that complicated. What's the first rule about studding?"

"..."

Three hundred stallions turned and looked at Mayor Mare. She rolled her eyes. "You're allowed to answer."

"Yes, thank you, Mayor" Anon said, turning back to the class. "So yeah, what's the first rule about studding?"

"Fuck her right in the pussy!" one shouted.

Anon lifted a finger, "Okay, you're... not wrong, but you're focusing on the wrong part-"

"Go hard, go deep, or go home!" another yelled, followed by cheers of agreement from the other stallions.

"Come on guys, it's the same rules as kindergarten," Anon said. "Raise your hooves to speak." A hoof went up and Anon pointed at him.

"Douse her flames of heat with your foal batter!" he yelled. More cheers of agreement.

"Alright, lets take a step back," Anon said. "Because it sounds like you guys are focusing on what feels good for you, and not the mare."

Another hoof went up. "Mares have always liked it when you go as hard as you can with a big dick as fast and deep as possible! This is the way!"
"This is the way!" the others echoed.

You have to be the big dick in the room.

Anon grabbed the microphone from the stand in frustration and stepped out from behind the podium.
"Then how did I beat you!?" he asked.

"..."

Anon kicked off his shorts and pointed at his penis. Though it was enormous for a human, it was still dwarfed by even the most diminutive stallion in the room. "If your way is so fucking maregasmic, then how did I steal all of your business with this!?"

"..."

"Nothing?" Anon asked. "No witty retorts? Fuck her right in the pussy!" he mocked.

"..."

"Alright. Good. Class can begin," Anon said. "Now let me tell you-" he felt a hoof at his side. He looked at Starlight standing beside him.

"Actually, why don't we show them how it's done?" she suggested, nodding towards the large, sturdy desk at the front of the hall. Despite hanging out with his literal wang out, Anon wasn't usually one for exhibitionism. Starlight on the other hoof seemed more than eager after his power move.

Still riding high on the power trip, Anon just grinned. "Yes. Let's!" Ocellus walked along the front row of seats, passing out ponchos to the ponies in the 'splash zone'. Nurse Redheart came out from the back room with a bag of equipment, setting some out on the table adjacent to the large desk.

Anon scanned the room again. "I don't know how everyone in the back will be able to-"

He was immediately cut off by another, bombastic mare walking out. "The Great and Powerful Showmare knows her way around a camera!" A screen at the front of the room extended down and a projector switched on as she switched on her camera and pointed it at his crotch. Anon looked up at his three-story-tall penis on the screen "For his next trick, this human is going to make this penis- disappear inside this mare!"

The camera whirled over to Starlight on the desk, who was glaring at her. "Trixie! What did we talk about!?"

"Ah, right." Trixie made a zipping motion across her lips.

"Okay, so just a quick recap of the basics, this should be review for most of you," Anon said, directing Trixie with the camera, pointing between Starlight's legs. Anon pointed at the various parts. "Starting at the bottom here you have-"

"The goal hole!"
"Stick it in and slam!"
"Smash it like you're breaking down a castle door!"

Anon cringed at the stallions. "The fuck!? No! Damn, no wonder why there's so many lesbians in this town!" He looked back at what he was doing. "Let's stick with the door analogy-"

"Wait, did he say anal?"

Anon ignored him. "What do you do before you open someone's door?" he asked, adding quickly, "Politely!"

"Knock?"

"Close," Anon said. "Ring the doorbell." He pointed at Starlight's clitoris. "But before we can even ring the doorbell, we have to make sure the castle's moat isn't dry." The stallions looked at him with blank faces. "You need to get her wet. So how do we do that?"

"Spit on it!"

"Okay, you stop talking," Anon said. "From now on, all my questions are rhetorical."

"But isn't that the whole point of pumping her full of cum? To douse the flames?" another asked.

"Let's not put the figurative cart before the literal horse," Anon said. "There's an order of operations here you ought to follow. Remember, the mare is paying you for her pleasure. Here's how you do it correctly..."

The stallions watched the screen. Starlight shivered with anticipation and braced herself for Anon to stimulate her, either with his tongue, or fingers or goodness knows what else. Nothing happened on screen for a moment and Trixie panned it to follow Anon, moving around to the other end of the desk.

"So how was your day?" Anon asked.

The question caught Starlight off guard. "W-what?"

"How was your day today?" Anon asked again.

"I- it was- it was busy," Starlight stammered.

"How so?"

"I run a school. It's always busy!"

"That must be really stressful."

"Oh- pssh, It's nothing I can't handle," Starlight said.

"I have no doubt. But that doesn't mean it doesn't still feel stressful," he said.

"Well, yeah..."

"Starlight, you're allowed to feel stressed out sometimes."

The corner of Starlight's lips quivered.

"Tell me about your day."

"Today was-" The dam broke. "It was actually really hard! I mean, I love my job, and I love this school, but nopony appreciates how hard it is to run a whole school with so many different creatures, and I have to do all the staff scheduling and P.T.A. meetings-" Anon gently pet her ear with his fingers as he listened. "And then today the Mayor drafts me into organizing this whole class tonight on top of everything else! This was supposed to be my day off! It was supposed to be MY spa day! I had to schedule it days ago and find coverage and everything myself!"

"Be more organized!"
"Close the school for a day!"
"Hire a scheduling assistant!"
"Fuck her stress away!"

"She's not looking for somebody to swoop in and fix things," Anon said. "She just needs somebody to listen while she vents. The sexiest thing you can say to a mare is-"

"I'm cumming?"

"No." Anon looked Starlight in the eyes and gently put his hand to hold her cheek. "I understand."

Starlight bit her lip and squeezed her thighs together. Trixie's camera spun and focused on the growing wet spot on the desk.

"Did she just-"
"How did he-"
"He never even touched it!"

"No," Anon said. "What I did was validate her feelings."

"Feelings?"
"That's even gayer than the pile!"

"The pile?" Anon asked.

Nurse Redheart said, "Some of the bisexual stallions had gotten a little impatient earlier, and there was a small, eh- orgy."

Anon opened his mouth to say something, but at that point it hardly even surprised him. Not that he even had time to react when he felt Starlight's magic on his dick. She rolled over on the desk and moved over to the edge and started sucking him off.

"She's trying to get a discount!"

Anon looked down at her, "Hey now- you don't have to do that."

She looked up at him, popping his dick out of her mouth and grinned. "I know. I just want to show my appreciation,"

Trixie's camera moved from behind Starlight, to her blowing Anon, and back again. Underneath her flagged tail, her clit winked on the big screen.

"He's getting her to wink just by letting her suck his dick!?"
"He's a witch!"
"Burn him!"

"It's from anticipation!" Anon said. "If you guys weren't so quick the screw, nut, and bolt, you'd understand the value of quality over speed." Hearing Anon being so assertive over the stallions made Starlight practically purr with excitement. "If it's what the mare wants, let her." She sucked his dick like she was dying of thirst. "Okay, seriously Starlight, if you don't slow down..."

The missing stallion returned from the restroom, quickly returning to his vacant seat in the front row. The rest of the stallions were watching Anon just hold on as Starlight got him to cum in her mouth. Ocellus walked over to give him his learning materials. "Would you like a poncho, Mr..." She looked at his nametag. "Firelight?"

Starlight jerked upright and turned around to look at the audience, with her mouth ballooned full of cum.

"Oh, there's my Chipmunk Cheeks!" Firelight said.

Starlight swallowed quickly. "What are you doing here!?"

Firelight held up his studding permit. "Historical preservation doesn't pay the bills like it used to, so I've been doing a bit of moonlighting. I came here to take Anon's class for the certification bonus, but I didn't think you'd be the teaching assistant."

Anon covered his microphone to whisper to Starlight, "Somebody you know?"

Starlight blushed, "You could say that. Just- just ignore him."

"If you say so..." Anon proceeded with the lesson and spoke into his microphone. "We kinda went out of order there, but an important skill to have in the bedroom is improvisation. Since I just received oral sex, the usual thing to do would be to return the favor. It would also, by the way, be the courteous thing."

"Aw yeah! Time to fuck her!"

"No," Anon scolded. "I meant returning the favor with oral sex."

"But she doesn't even have a penis!"

"The fuck!?" Anon just rubbed the bridge of his nose, wondering how any of these idiots managed to make it here without tripping over their own hooves. "Oral sex just means using your mouth for sexual pleasure. It doesn't mean you have to suck a-"

"But it can!" Starlight interrupted, using her magic to pull his face over to her horn.

"Okay, yes, with a unicorn, there is some sucking you can do," Anon said. "Just as with a pegasus you can preen their wimMGMHFF!" Starlight yanked the collar of his shirt and Anon got his mouth stuffed with the horn of a horny mare who felt his mouth could be put to better use. With her free hoof, she pulled Anon's hand to her crotch. Trixie's camera focused on Anon's fingers playing with Starlight's clit. Anon pulled his mouth off her horn for a moment. "And this is to demonstrate the value of multitaskinNMGFF!"

Trixie smirked from behind the camera. "It's so nice to see you dominate somepony else for a change!"

Starlight shushed her. "Quiet baby, you're best seen, not her-hu-hua-HUH!" Starlight's breathing became more erratic and her eyes crossed. Starlight came and Anon felt that familiar, tingling sensation on his tongue of licking a 9-volt battery. Clouds of ozone puffed out of his nostrils from her horngasm.

"Nah has hoo han hee-" Anon tried to say with his numb tongue hanging out of his mouth. He winced and rubbed it against the roof of his mouth for a moment, while Starlight caught her breath. "Now as you can see-" he repeated more clearly while motioning to the panting unicorn, "A horngasm is a great part of foreplay with unicorn."

"Ha! GaAay!"

"Dude, you were just sucking a dick earlier in the pile!"

"Exactly! I know it when I see it!"

Anon ignored the hecklers, "After her horn, or wings, or ears-"

"Ears?"

"Yes, ears!" Anon took the corner of Starlight's floofy ear and gently rubbed it between his fingers and lightly nibbled on the tip, making Starlight shudder and stifle her moan by biting her lip. He didn't need the microphone for most of them to hear how wet she was getting in his palm. "After all that, comes the main course."

"Yeah! Dick her down!"

"I mean, orally!" Anon knelt down between Starlight's legs at the edge of the desk and leaned forward to start licking her pussy. Trixie got a great view of the back of his head. She pulled Starlight's leg aside and pushed Anon's head against her opposite thigh to get the optimal angle. Anon learned just how awkward the sex positions for pornography could be. Even so, he did his best with his tongue, licking Starlight's clit from the corner of his mouth. Everypony, including Starlight, watched the big screen, and Anon's tongue practically break-dancing all over her winking clit. To be able to see in real time exactly what she was feeling only stoked her fire hotter. Her thighs started to tremble.

Though it wasn't his intention to tease her, he pulled away before she could cum. "Starlight, are you ready for your deep tissue massage?"

"Yes! YES!" Starlight cried out in an undignified plea.

"Not yet," Nurse Redheart said, wheeling over her cart. Starlight huffed in frustration, but acknowledged this part of the lesson. Nurse Redheart brandished a duck-billed tool that Anon was unfortunately familiar with, and she addressed the class, "Before we get too far along, there is still a bit of anatomy left for you to learn. Anon, could you help with..." she put Starlight's legs in his hands to hold for lack of stirrups. The nurse put the speculum spreader in and Trixie looked over her shoulder with her camera light switched on and zoomed in. Starlight craned her neck to look at the screen behind her, featuring her two-story-tall cervix on the screen. "And here, gentlecolts, you can see-"

"Aww yeah! That's that final barrier!" one of the stallions shouted. "You gotta slam through that with your dick, like bam, Bam! BAM!" he made an aggressive punching motion with his hoof.

Anon and every mare there all winced.

"No!" Anon yelled. "You see, this shit is why so many mares are filly-foolers! Now I've never experienced it myself, but I can only imagine that must feel like getting kicked in the nuts for a mare!"

"Whatever happened to going deep, going hard, or going home?" another asked.

"How many repeat customers has that gotten you?" Anon asked. The stallion went quiet and looked at the floor. "Now listen up! That right there-" he pointed at the cervix on the screen, "that is the reason why you need to start out slowly, and gently. And if you feel that, if you bottom out, then you need to back off!"

"But how does she even feel it if you don't go as deep and as hard as possible?"

Redheart spoke up, "Most of a mare's nerve endings are in the first third of her vagina."

"Which means this-" Anon pointed at his comparatively-short erection, "is all I need! And unlike you minute-men, it can last as long as a mare needs!"

"How is he hard again already!?"

"He just came in her mouth a few minutes ago!"

"He's a witch! Burn him!"

"Human refractory period, son!" Anon shouted. "While the rest of you zhlubs are one-and-done for the night, I can cum, and come right back for more!" Her turned and looked at Starlight. "But first..." He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers. Nurse Redheart removed the speculum and gave Anon a small , smooth cylinder about the size of a prescription bottle. "What is this?" he asked.

Redheart switched it on and a bright light came out of the end of it. "Switch to channel two," she instructed Trixie. The view on the screen shook as Anon realized he was holding a small camera. Redheart saw his confusion. "So they can see what's going on in there."

"In there?" he asked. Redheart nodded. His eyes followed hers to between Starlight's legs. "Right, well... you seem more than ready to go. So..." He slid the smooth cylinder into her sopping wet pussy with ease. The big screen was filled with the view of her glistening wet pink interior. A couple of his fingers appeared and pushed it backwards, deeper inside. Trixie switched back to channel one, watching from the outside as Anon gently added more of his fingers into Starlight's stretched vagina. "Uh... this part isn't very relevant for those of you without hands. Maybe a few of you pegasi with slender hooves."

Trixie watched in awe and Starlight breathed heavy as her pussy stretched around Anon's wrist, thicker than any strap-on Trixie owned. "Oh, Wow™," Glimmer gasped as the thickest part of his hand slipped inside her tight ring of pelvic muscles. Nurse Redheart turned around to her cart and grabbed her ultrasound probe and conductive jelly, rubbing it on Starlight's lower abdomen.

"What, are you pregnant!?" Anon asked with sudden concern.

"Carry on," Nurse Redheart instructed him. "Trixie, channel three?" The image on the big screen switched to a grey-scale sonogram. Anon could make out the amorphous shape of his hand inside Starlight's pussy. "If you go just a bit deeper, her anterior vaginal wall-"

"Red, I know where the G-Spot is, okay?" Anon said. "I don't need a damn map!"

"But they do," Nurse Redheart said, nodding past his shoulder to the audience.

"Right..." Anon was able to find it by feel. That slightly-spongy part about a third of the way inside. He turned his hand over and started making a come-hither motion with his fingers. Trixie switched back to her camera to show off the undulating bulge in Starlight's abdomen.

"They're not going to learn anything from that," Redheart said. "Set cam two and three to split-screen." The big screen showed the ultrasound view of Anon's hand moving inside Starlight's pussy, and the internal camera showed the spectacle inside, the precise technique of his fingers massaging against her sensitive G-Spot.

Starlight looked at the screen, and then over Anon's shoulder at a specific stallion sitting in the front row, leaning forward in his seat, watching intently. "Uh, actually, I- I think I'm reconsidering all this-"

Trixie smiled. "Oh, relax Starlight! This is your favorite part whenever I break out the Bunny™ strap-on and get you at just the right angle!"

"I- I just- I don't think I should this time!" Starlight said, covering her face with her hooves.

Trixie held Starlight's hoof, "You don't need to worry! We got the ponchos for a reason!" Trixie elbowed Anon in the ribs, imploring him to keep going. She covered his microphone with her hoof and whispered, "Most ponies don't know this, Anon, but Starlight here is the squirting champion of the universe."

"Oh?"

"Oh yeah!" Trixie bragged. "I think we've paid for the laundromat's expansion with our bedding alone!"

"Trixie!" Starlight's face turned darker red.

"What? You should be proud! I've seen you knock the lamp off the nightstand with it!"

"I can believe it," Nurse Redheart said, looking at the screen. "That has to be the biggest Skene's Gland I've ever seen!" Indeed, the ultrasound probe focused on the dark blob in Starlight's abdomen that Anon's fingers were aggressively massaging, growing larger with each passing moment.

"Just- just not this time, okay?" Starlight asked.

"Trixie's right," Anon said. "You don't ever need to feel ashamed about your orgasm. And you'll feel a lot better if you just let it out."

Starlight shook her head and bit her lip, breathing harder through her nose. Trixie smirked. "Oh, I know that look! She's close! If you keep holding it, it's just going to be big~ger!" she sang. Anon placed his free hand on her abdomen with a light pressure and touched her clit with his thumb.

Starlight clenched her eyes. She couldn't hold it back any longer. She put her hoof against Anon's chest and practically bucked him off her, forcing his arm to be pulled out in a single, quick, withdrawal and sending him sprawling backwards onto the classroom floor. Starlight let out a throaty moan as she came hard, launching a powerful jet of her female ejaculation at the crowd, sprinkling much of the front row, though mostly drenching the one stallion that hadn't gotten a poncho. Starlight's hips bucked off the table as she continued to orgasm, knocking Nurse Redheart backwards out of her seat. Starlight's pelvic muscles flexed and spasmed, launching the tiny camera out of her vagina, sailing into the drenched stallion's lap as she continued to spurt marecum.

Starlight huffed and wheezed and panted on the desk, looking up at the big screen as her orgasm slowly subsided. The ultrasound screen was static and then switched off. All that remained was the tiny camera in the stallions lap, looking up along a massive, veiny erection, at him wiping his face with his hoof.

Firelight looked down at the tiny camera and picked it up to wordlessly give back to Anon. Anon looked back and forth between him and Starlight. They were very obviously trying to not look at each other before he turned back around to go back to his seat.

"Right, well..." Anon tried to resume some sense of normalcy in the class. "The rest is pretty textbook." He rolled Starlight over onto her belly and put the tiny camera back inside her vagina, followed by his dick. The screen became a strobe-light of her pink interior parting and his dick appearing in front of the camera inside her before vanishing again.

"Class dismissed!"

The stallions waited a moment, watching the inside view of the human's penis fucking the mare. A full minute passed and he showed no signs of slowing now. The stallions started to slowly shuffle out of the classroom, the sound of their hooves was muffled by the rhythmic smacking of Anon's balls against Starlight's winking clit.

"S-Class, Bitches!" Anon shouted over the lewd sounds of dripping-wet, ball-slapping fucking, leaving no doubt in the other studs' minds exactly who the alpha was, and that his rank was well-earned. Mayor Mare stamped each stud's permit with the updated certification.

The process took several minutes. After the recent blowjob Starlight gave him, Anon was able to comfortably fuck through all of it, and eye-fuck any stallion that dared to meet his gaze. Starlight was a quivering mess of a mare on the desk as Anon made her cum again, and again as the stallions filed out, riding her right through her aftershocks, keeping her riding high on a plateau of pleasure.

Anon paused just long enough to let Starlight's eyes focus on the last stallion reaching the exit. Firelight looked back over his shoulder and just smiled at her. Anon hilted Starlight one last time and creampied the tiny camera inside her pussy, making the big screen behind him fade to white.

Back home, Anon showered and slinked into his bed, gently draping his arm over his roommate so as not to wake her. It didn't work.

"You were out late," Chrysalis said.

"Duty called," Anon grumbled, nuzzling against the nape of her neck.

"Fucking her?" she growled.

"Who? Starlight?" he asked. He could feel her bristle in his arms.

She practically hissed at him. "All the lavender body wash in the shower can't get her cunt-stink off you!"

"Is that jealousy I detect?" Anon asked.

"No! Why should I care who you fuck!?"

"That's what I'm asking you."

"I don't!"

"You clearly do," he said. She rolled away from him and huffed. "Chryssi, she's just- she was just a client. I don't care about her."

"But you do care about me?" she asked.

Anon sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "Well- I mean, I- I don't not care. About you," he stammered. She sat up to get out of bed. He put his hand on her porous hoof. "Chryssi-" She yanked her hoof away.

"I'll be on the couch!"

Anon wanted to get up and go after her to talk. But he was too exhausted. Besides, a night's rest would do them both good, and give her a chance to cool off. He laid back down in the special cloud bed, asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

The next morning Anon woke up to a loud noise. Though, calling it a 'loud noise' would have been the understatement of the century. An air horn that would normally have been mounted on a cruise liner had materialized inside his bedroom, and it was blaring at full blast. The entire house around him shook like an earthquake. The plaster walls crumbled and the window shattered. Anon screamed but even his loudest yelling was little more than a whisper against the roar. Opening his mouth only gave the noise another shortcut to his eardrums that somehow hadn't yet ruptured. The horn, and structural damage vanished in a flash of light and a draconequus appeared in its place.

"Good morning, Anon!" Discord shouted.

"Asshole!" Anon cradled his throbbing head.

"Oh, you can read me like a book!" Discord said with a smirk.

Anon looked at the empty space in the bed next to him and shouted into the house, "Chryssi!"

Chrysalis staggered into the bedroom. "Mawp! Mawp!" she repeated as she cradled her head. In a flash of green magic she shapeshifted into... herself, but a version without tinnitus. "Asshole!"

"What the shit is all this about!?" Anon yelled at Discord.

"Why, it's your party!" Discord announced. With a snap, he and Discord were instantly outside his home. Several more arms sprouted out of Discord's torso, all of them snapping fingers in rapid succession making every pony Anon had ever known appear around him in various states of shock and surprise. Fluttershy, Twilight, all her friends and the other townsponies. At last, Pinkie Pie appeared wielding her party canon, blasting confetti, streamers, and balloons all over the town square. The banner unfurled and said Anon's Going Away Party.

Pinkie Pie turned and looked at the banner and pouted. "Wait! This is a SAD party!"

"Not for Anon!" Discord said. With one last snap a portal opened. "It's been a whole week, and you made it! And since I'm a reformed draconequus now, I kept up my end of the deal! Au revoir, Anon!"

Had it been just a week? It felt like a lifetime. Anon looked at the portal and then at Discord. "I can just... leave?" Discord nodded with glee. Anon looked around at all the ponies he had met in his time here. They were giving him little waves farewell. They all had that same bittersweet smile that animal rescuers had when they returned a sea turtle to the ocean. Knowing it was for the best, but still sad to see him go. "I mean, I guess..." Aloe and Lotus both look worried. He looked at Mayor Mare. "I think I did a pretty good job of teaching the rest of the studs, so... you should be fine..."

There was insistent tapping on glass behind him. Anon turned around to look at his house. Chrysalis was frantically hitting her hooves against the window. "What about her?" he asked.

"Oh, don't worry," Discord assured him. "I'm sure Princess Twilight will turn her back into a statue or send her to Tartarus forever."

"But she-" Anon felt a brief tightness in his chest. "Let me at least go say goodbye." He walked over to his house and opened the door. She bounded through the house and met him in the kitchen. For a moment they just stood there and looked at each other. "Well, I guess this is it. It's been fun. I..." Anon's eyes looked away for a moment. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," she said. "I- I'm sorry about last night."

"Me too."

"..."

"..."

"Well, I guess I, uh..." Anon pointed towards the door and started to leave.

"Anon!" Chrysalis's hoof grabbed his hand. "Stay! Uh, I mean- stay, please!"

"Why?"

"Because I know you love me!" she said. "I can feel it."

"No wonder why she's so fat...", Twilight muttered.

Anon winced. "I mean, yeah, I guess, but you don't..."

Chrysalis looked away and sneered, as though the very words were revolting in her mouth. "Yeah, I do. You're rude and obnoxious and weird and you think you're fucking funny, but you're not!"

Anon smirked. "Yes I am!"

"And you're-" She huffed in exasperation. "You're broken. You're an ugly, misshapen puzzle piece. Like me. And we just... I don't know... fit."

"So are you going to say it, or are you going to just keep being a whiny bitch about it?"

"Shut up you smug asshole! I'm trying to tell you that I love you!" A flash of viridian light enveloped Chrysalis like a cocoon, fading away to reveal an actual cocoon suspended from the ceiling.

Anon just stared at it. "Uh..."

A moment later it split open and Chrysalis spilled out, tumbling onto the floor, without any holes in her body and looking like she just got bukkaked by a rainbow.

Outside, Ocellus gasped. "She finally transformed!"

Chrysalis stood up and looked at Anon, finally free to give and share her love with him as he had with her. "Anon?"

Anon put his hand over his mouth. "Oh god, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."

Chrysalis caught her reflection in the kitchen window and cringed. "Ugh!"

"Please tell me this isn't permanent!" Anon said.

"I'm still a changeling, dipshit!" Chrysalis transformed back into her original appearance. "And I prefer this look!"

"At least we can agree on that!" Anon said. "Cheese-legs bug is way better than gay reindeer!"

She held his hand in her hoof again. "Stay, please."

Anon smiled. "Hey Discord! Fuck off! I'm staying!"

"Okay good, because the portal was fake," Discord said. The piece of cardboard that was painted to look like a portal crumpled to the ground.

Anon sighed. "I feel like I should be mad, but this is just par for the course with you, isn't it?" Discord smirked.

Pinkie Pie blasted the banner with her party canon and the text changed to Anon's Staying Party. "Now THIS is a party worth celebrating!"

"Someone give me a beer!" Anon said.

Even Rainbow Dash was surprised by that. "Dude, it's like eight in the morning."

"And if you're staying, don't you have work in like an hour?" Twilight asked.

"Fuck it! It's a special occasion! I'm taking the day off! Those horny mares can wait until tomorrow!" Chrysalis stepped out onto the stoop beside him with his beer. "See? This is why I love you!" Anon pried the cap off the bottle with her jagged horn, earning him a swift jab to his ribs. Something suddenly occurred to him. "Chryssi! You're outside!"

Chrysalis looked down at her hooves on the stoop and at the doorway behind her. "I'm outside!"

"How are you outside?" Anon asked.

"I have altered the deal," Discord said. "There's an invisible fence around Anon. She can leave the house as long as she's by your side. Otherwise-" Discord shoved Anon, sending him stumbling off the stoop away from Chrysalis, who promptly vanished from where she was standing to reappear back inside the house, pawing fruitlessly at the doorway's magical barrier. Anon walked back over, letting her exit with ease to be by his side.

Chrysalis cozied up next to him. "So Anon, what do you want to do with your day off from being elbow-deep in ponies?"

Anon sipped his beer and smiled at her. "Today, the only one I want to be elbow-deep in, is you."

"Aw, you're such a sweet-talker," she sarcassed.

"Don't act like you don't like it."

"Yeah, yeah. So who do you want me to be this time?" she asked as they went inside.

"Chryssi..." Anon put his hand on her cheek to stop and face him.

He kissed her.

"... I'll take you just the way you are."

Author's Note

This was the original ending of the story.
But due to popular demand, I changed the status of the story from Complete, back to Incomplete to continue adding chapters indefinitely.
You're welcome.

2134513

19. Chrysalis Redeux

~

And so it was that Anon chose to stay in Equestria forever. As he remained, so too did his job. Such as it was, he decided to take the day off. His farewell party outside of his house transformed into a regular party, complete with catering, music, and dancing. Everything. Everything except the guest of honor, still inside his home. The thumping music outside was muffled through the enchanted walls oh his house, serving as the probation prison for the former queen of the changelings.

Chrysalis cozied up next to him. "So Anon, what do you want to do with your day off from being elbow-deep inside of ponies?"

Anon sipped his fresh bottle of beer and smiled at her. "Today, the only one I want to be elbow-deep inside of, is you."

"Aw, you're such a sweet-talker," she sarcassed.

"Don't act like you don't like it."

"Yeah, yeah. So who do you want me to transform into this time?" she asked.

"Chryssi..." Anon put his hand on her cheek to stop and face him. He kissed her. "I'll take you just the way you are."

Chrysalis put her hoof over his hand. "Even though I look like... this?"

"This is the face I fell in love with. Not the technicolor abortion that fell out of that cocoon." He set his beer down on the kitchen table and swept her off her hooves to carry her. "Fuck! You've gotten heavy!"

"How flattering," she groused in his arms. "Do you want me to transform into somepony lighter?"

"No no!" Anon grunted as he shuffled to carry her to the bedroom. "I want the real you!"

"Well there's a lot of me," she said.

"Yeah," Anon groaned, making it to the bedroom.

She smacked him with her hoof. "You weren't supposed to agree with me-EAH!" Chrysalis yelps as Anon dropped her, as nicely as possible, onto the bed. *POMF* The plush cloud mattress softened her landing.

"A lot of you to love," he added.

Her annoyance evaporated. "What are we going to do on the bed, Anon?" she asked.

Anon smirked. "That line never gets old."

Chrysalis folded herself in half like a lawn chair with her ankles crossed behind her head. She reached around her thighs with her hooves to grab her own butt and leveraged her head forward. Her lengthy, prehensile tongue lolled out and slithered into her own pussy by several inches. "It tastes ready!"

"What are you a cat!?" Anon asked.

"I could be," Chrysalis said with a flash of green magic turning into a large, purring, charcoal cat. She arched her back and stretched before she waved a paw at him. "Rawr."

A cat is fine too. Anon shook his head. "No, no. I said I wanted the real Chrysalis."

She shrugged and rolled over with another flash of magic back into her original form. She grabbed her ankles with her hooves again to pretzel herself back into a breeding press. Anon stopped her with his hand and just sat on the bed beside her. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Just relax. You don't need to try to impress me," Anon said. "You already do that with your cooking." The faintest hint of a blush flashed across her chitin cheeks. "Let's just take it slow today."

"As you wish."

Anon laid down next to her and she began to roll over for him to spoon her, but he stopped her.

"No, this way," he said, rolling her to face him. He rested his head on the same pillow as her with his nose to hers. He looked into her viridian eyes. She looked back into his briefly before looking away. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just not used to this," she said. "I never had a problem with staring down prey to be intimidating. All I had ever known was fear and respect, ruling with vigilant strength. I had become so accustomed to just taking what I wanted. The love I fed on was never freely given, until..." Anon held her chin to look into her eyes again. "Until you." Anon reached over to hug her. She pushed him away. "Sex is one thing. Sex never meant anything to me. It was just a means to an end. But this... intimacy is..." She winced. "I'm just not used to feeling this... lovey. This..."

"Vulnerable?" he asked.

She looked him in the eyes at last. "Yeah. That's what it is. It's strange. It's almost scary. It makes me feel... I don't know... weaker."

"Chryssi, you don't have to be strong all the time," he said, reaching over again to hug her. She didn't resist, allowing him to hold her in his tender embrace. He rested his cheek in the corner of her neck and shoulder. She mirrored his hug, wrapping her hooves around behind his back to hold him closely, resting her chin on top of him. She blinked and clenched her eyes to keep her eye sweat from leaking out. Because that's what it was, eye sweat, and definitely not tears.

Anon held her cheek in his hand, feeling her eye sweat on his fingertips. "It's okay." Chrysalis swallowed hard, feeling her throat close up. "It's okay to feel."

"Fuck you, I don't need your permission!" she tried to say, but her words came out broken as her body trembled and shuddered. She sniffled but her eye sweat came in a steady stream now. She tried to stifle her whimper into her pillow and Anon hugged her tighter. She let him. She hugged him back. He let her.

"You're allowed to be loved."

~

Beyond the walls of the house, the music of the party changed through several songs while Anon held Chrysalis for as long as she needed. Which was much longer than she wanted to admit. Not that she needed to. Not to him.

She leaned back and looked him in the eyes again.

"Hey," he greeted sweetly.

"Hey." Her tone and expression was terse.

"It seemed like you really needed that," he said.

She huffed indignantly. "It was nice. But I didn't need it." He strained to keep the smug expression from his face. They both knew perfectly well that it wasn't true. He didn't need to start an argument to try to prove it. Let her have it. She looked away wistfully. "It was easier before when it was just physical. It was simpler. This feels... messy."

Anon smirked. "The sex was pretty messy too."

She slugged his shoulder. "You know what I mean!"

"Yeah. But this is better isn't it?" he asked. "You always said that lust was like fast food for a changeling, and real love was more, you know, nutritious?" She nodded. "How about both at the same time?" he asked, running his hand down along her abdomen. The vulnerable glisten in her eye blinked away and her usual, mischievous glint returned as the corners of her lips curled up.

"Both are good."

He reached down between her legs to cup her vulva with his palm. Her thighs squeezed together, not to restrict his access, but to keep him from pulling his hand away. Amid their embrace, of all their bodily contact, the slight change of him gently sliding a couple fingers inside her viridian pussy was so subtle, but the feelings coursing through her were seismic.

After all the buck-wild, ball-slapping hardcore fucking they had done before, the small movements of his fingers inside her had her panting harder than she would have expected. He made little curling motions with his fingers inside her, just as gently, just as slowly. There was nowhere else for him to be. There was no rush. Not today. Today it was just her, and him. And they had all the time in the world.

He didn't tease her. He didn't try to edge her, or needlessly draw things out. Though slow, and tender, his progress was consistent. It didn't sneak up on either of them. It didn't come as a surprise. It wasn't some ground-shattering climax that had her howling to the skies. Her clitoris winked into his palm. He pressed back against it with only slightly added pressure, but it had her hooves wrap around his body even tighter as she came into his hand. Her fresh, viscous wetness dribbled from his knuckles onto the linen. He kept himself still, with his fingers still buried inside her, until she finished.

"Hmmm, that was lovely," she purred. "So... what's next?"

He smiled at her as he continued to idly finger her. "I meant what I said before."

"About me being heavy?" she asked indignantly.

"No," he said. "I mean, yes, but not that. I meant about getting elbow-deep inside you." He grinned.

"Oh." Chrysalis blushed nervously. "If we're going to do that, then I really should put on something else," she flashed with green magic before reappearing as Celestia.

"Chryssi, I told you, I want you just the way you are," Anon said firmly.

She blushed harder. "Anon, it's just that, as a changeling, I... it's... it's very different. And I'm just worried that it would... put you off."

"You don't need to be ashamed of your body," he assured her. "I've seen them all. Mares of all shapes and sizes, zebras, the cat half of gryphons..."

"I know, but..." She covered her face with her hooves and changed back to her original form. "Just promise you won't get weirded out."

"That would take a lot at this point," Anon said as he sat up in the bed. He looked over her body. "Chryssi, did you... did you gain weight since we laid down?"

Her hooves moved from her face to her round abdomen. "I told you, I feed on love!"

"Ah, right." Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess this one's on me." Her expression looked hurt. "It's fine! This is fine! It's not a turn-off or anything." She seemed unconvinced. He moved over on the bed and waited for her to uncross her legs.

He rubbed his hand against her pussy again, getting her to relax and forget about her trepidations. He wanted to show her that he meant every word as he slid two fingers back inside her again. Her nervousness melted away and she relaxed into the bed. He added a second, and third finger, leaving only his thumb out, gently toying with her clit in little circles. He rotated his wrist from side to side to spread her copious lubricant before he added his thumb inside.

With only modest pressure, he slowly pushed into her. Aside from her belly, the rest of her frame was very lithe, tall as she was, and very lanky. He was concerned that her hips seemed quite narrow for her size, but she was surprisingly pliable as her pussy stretched with relative ease around the widest part of his hand. She took a deep breath and sighed to relax herself as his hand slid inside her and her pussy closed around his wrist.

He looked at her, still laying on her side, and waited for her to give the green light to continue. She didn't appear to be in any discomfort. Now that his hand was inside her vagina, the hardest part was conceivably over. But she looked more nervous now than before. Even so, she nodded for him to continue.

Anon made small piston motions, working a bit more of his arm inside her a little at a time. As she had said, it was different from a pony's vagina. The texture of her lining was different. And her secretions were less watery and more syrupy. Almost like thick honey, which seemed oddly appropriate. Though more viscous, it was no less slippery in aiding his progress. He looked down at his arm to gauge his depth. Though she was of a similar height, her body was a bit smaller than Celestia's. He expected his fingers to feel the end of her vagina, but it just sort of tapered into a more narrow ring of muscles.

Chrysalis hugged the pillow next to her and just moaned as he went deeper. Her legs made little kicking motions like if she was peddling a bike, but gave no sigh or indication for him to stop. If anything, her reactions seemed to only become more pleasured the deeper he went. His fingertips felt something solid, round and smooth, but it didn't have the donut topography of a cervix.

Her body writhed on the bed and she did a half-turn rolling onto her back before laying on her side again. Anon could feel her insides shifting around his arm and her muscles flexed, pushing the round shape against his hand. Suddenly he recognized the size and shape of it.

"Did Cadance do this to you!?" he asked. Chrysalis was barely lucid as Anon pushed his arm the rest of the way up inside her to get his fingers around the thing. Her clitoris winked against his biceps before he started to pull his arm out. His arm was coated with a thin sheen of her green juices. Her pussy flexed and bulged, stretching and squirting each time her clit winked at him. As he started to pull his hand out it stretched a bit more than before with his hand full. Her legs trembled as he looked down at the green egg in his hand. He set it on the bedding before he gently pushed his hand back inside her.

"Ooh, ooh!" Chrysalis moaned and she rolled from side to side, cradling her belly with her hooves as Anon reached elbow-deep inside her again. Chrysalis winced and grunted. He felt a second egg practically get pushed into his palm.

"Geez, how many did Cadance put in here?" he asked before reaching back up inside her again. Her abdomen flexed and squeezed around his arm and he found his hand full again. And again. And again.

Chrysalis clutched her pillow. She was breathing heavy and sweating from the ordeal of Anon actively pulling eggs out of her. He set the twelfth egg in the pile with the others. He reached back inside again, almost getting his elbow inside her. She grunted and groaned as he felt around inside her for any more eggs.

"Okay, I think that's all of them," he said. Her belly looked like it had from before they got into bed. He slowly pulled his arm out one final time. His empty hand popped free with a sticky 'shlorp'.

Chrysalis panted heavily, recovering from the experience.

"Okay, I am going to have a long talk with Cadance about doing this to you! She's in big trouble!"

"She didn't," Chrysalis said, hiding her embarrassed face behind her hooves.

Anon looked at the pile of green eggs and then at her green pussy. "Oh. Okay, Chryssi, I think I just figured it out. All these eggs you've been feeding me this whole time. About them being made with love. When you talked about them getting delivered from a green chicken while I was at work..."

Chrysalis whimpered, on the verge of tears.

"You've been putting them up your twat because you think it makes them taste better!" he said.

"Wha-?"

"Well you're right!" Anon said. "They do! Now I'm trying to remember if those other ones tasted any different after being inside Cadance... Maybe we'll have to invite her over to try that again for a taste test!" Chrysalis's entire body shuddered at the mere thought of it, and one more egg squeezed out of her. Anon picked it up. "Ah ha! A bakers dozen! Come on, I haven't even had breakfast yet. Let's turn these into one of your famous omelets!"

Anon ran off to the kitchen to grab a large bowl and gathered up the green eggs from the bed. Chrysalis followed after him on shaky legs. He set the bowl on the countertop next to the stove and set out the skillet for her. He moved aside to let her work at the stove.

Before she even picked up the first egg, she felt his hands on her hips. She looked back over her shoulder at him mounting her from behind. She felt his dick slide inside her with ease and he started humping her, making wet slaps with his hips against her. "You make the omelet, and I'll make the cream pie!" he said. Chrysalis rolled her eyes and started cracking green eggs into a mixing bowl while he fucked her.

There was a knock at the front door. "I said no visitors!" Anon shouted over the sounds of rough sex. The knocking became more insistent. "For fuck's sake, let me finish first!" He fucked Chrysalis faster.

"Just answer it," Chrysalis said, stirring the omelet in the skillet. "We live together. We can have even more graphic sex later."

Anon pulled out in frustration and put on his boxers before he walked over to the door. "Who the fuck could it be?"

Author's Note

3245472

20. Raven Inkwell

Chrysalis stirred the omelet in the skillet as Anon stomped over to the door. "Who the fuck could it be?" he muttered. "Whoever it is, I'm going to tell them to fuck right off!" He yanked the door open. "What!?"

Princess Celestia stood outside the door. "Well, good afternoon to you, too." Anon was stunned. "I believe you were about to tell me to fuck right off?"

Anon looked away. "No, obviously not. What brings you here?"

"Well, I was about to take my morning bath when a certain draconequus snapped me halfway across Equestria to your going-away party," she said, motioning to the sea of ponies behind her in the town square dancing to the music.

The door knocker morphed into Discord's face. "In my defense, this party is the event of the season and was not to be missed!"

"Knock it off!" Anon smacked the knocker with his hand, restoring it to normal.

"To be clear, I'm not upset," Celestia said. "But now if the question arose for us to adjourn to my place or yours... I now know where it is."

Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, about that..." Celestia looked past him inside his home at the changeling standing by the stove. Chrysalis looked back at her nervously. "Yeah, I know you two have a history, but-"

Celestia looked at Anon. "Really now, of all the creatures in Equestria that you could have given your love... her?"

"You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you?" Anon asked. "A perfect organism. Her structural perfection is matched only by her hostility."

Celestia leveled her gaze at him. "You admire her."

Anon looked at Chrysalis. "I admire her purity. A survivor. Unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality."

Celestia balked. "I've heard enough of this!"

"Also, I want to fuck her!"

"Anon! Anon!" a pink pony bounced along through the town square. Pinkie Pie landed on Anon's stoop beside Celestia and wedged herself between them. "Anon! We have a cake emergency!"

Anon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because that's a real thing."

"It is!" Pinkie Pie insisted. "I thought there would be enough cake for your going-away party, but I didn't realize just how many ponies you've touched!" Anon blushed. "I mean- how many lives you've touched! Plus, I wasn't expecting the C-word to show up!" she said, nodded towards the pony next to her.

Anon blanched. "Did you just call Tia a cunt!?" Chrysalis nearly choked in stifling her laugh. Pinkie Pie's jaw was nearly on the ground.

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Charming, as always."

Anon smacked his forehead. "Right, because Celestia's name starts with a C. Sorry."

"Hmm. Well, I'll let you work on your little cake emergency," Celestia said as she turned to leave. "And perhaps, brush up on your courtly graces?"

"I said I was sorry!" Anon called after her. He looked at Pinkie. "Great, now you got me in trouble."

"One time, Discord turned Ponyville into the chaos capital of Equestria," Pinkie said. "And at one point, he stole Celestia's tail and ate it like cotton candy. And now they have tea together on the weekends. And he never got her off like you did. So I'm sure you'll be fine."

"You heard about that, huh?"

"Heard about it? I felt it! I'm pretty sure half the continent did!"

"Swell."

"Now about this cake emergency-!"

"Pinkie, you work in a bakery. Figure it out!"

"Well, duh! I know how to do it! But we ran out of eggs!"

Anon pointed at the orange earth pony walking by. "What about Applejack? Doesn't she have a farm?"

"I have an orchard!" Applejack said.

Anon pointed at the yellow pegasus. "I know Fluttershy has chickens."

Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak, but Pinkie Pie interrupted, "Where do you think I got all the eggs I had!?"

"What makes you think I have any?" Anon asked.

"Oh, I might have mentioned it," Shining Armor said.

"I'm not dealing with this right now." Anon slammed the door shut.

"Ooh, you do have eggs!" Pinkie Pie said, standing next to Chrysalis.

"Pinkie Pie! How the fuck did you get inside my house!?"

"Through the fourth wall, right guys?" Pinkie Pie said to the readers. She picked up the bowl of eggs. "Where did you get green eggs from?" she asked. Chrysalis looked at Anon.

"... From green chickens."

"Oh, duh!" Pinkie Pie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Anyway, can I borrow these so I can make cakes for the whole town to eat?"

Chrysalis grinned. "Sharing is caring, Anon."

Anon rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Fine, whatever. Take them."

"Wanna come help?" Pinkie asked.

"I'm not really a baker," Anon said.

"Oh, it's not that difficult," Pinkie Pie assured him. "It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake. If the way is hazy, you gotta do the cooking by the book. You know you can't be lazy!"

"I can! And I am!" Anon said, shoving Pinkie Pie toward the exit.

It didn't keep her from singing. "Never use a messy recipe. The cake will end up crazy. If you do the cooking by the book-" Anon shoved her outside and closed the door again.

"... then you'll have a cake," Chrysalis finished the song as her hips swayed to the beat. Anon looked at her as she flipped over the omelet. She looked back at him and shrugged. "What? It's a catchy song." He huffed. She slid the omelet onto a plate for him while he sat at the table. "Eat. You're not you when you're hungry."

"You're one to talk," Anon said.

"And don't I know it!" Chrysalis agreed, giving her belly a little pat.

"It's a good thing I love you," Anon grumbled before he started eating. "And you're such a fantastic cook."

She hugged him from behind his chair. "Made with love," she whispered before nibbling on his ear. She waited for him to finish eating. "Better?"

"Yeah," Anon grumbled.

"Come on, let's go see what the fuss is all about," she suggested.

"I was kind of thinking we could get back to finishing what we started," he said.

She smiled. "I'm looking forward to it. But there will be time for that later. I'm curious to see what will happen... to see what kind of cake Pinkie can make."

"Okay, fine."

Chrysalis immediately regretted the decision to leave the house. Even after she had been denuded of her power and proved that she was reformed, it didn't change the way most ponies felt about her. "No second prances," Chrysalis said. "I should have changed before we left."

"They're staring at me, not you," Anon said.

"No they're not." She didn't need to be an empath to feel the eyes of everypony on her as she walked through the town square. Being feared was something that she had been accustomed to. But after feeling how wonderful being truly loved could be, fear tasted so bitter to her.

"It's fine," Anon assured her as he walked closely beside her. "They just need to get used to seeing you."

It made things easier to wade through the crowd of the party. The horde of grateful mares that would have otherwise overwhelmed him gave a wide berth to the former queen at his side. They walked past the queue at the entrance to Sugarcube Corner. Anon recognized the familiar faces of several former clients.

The ring of the door opening made Pinkie poke her head out from the back of the kitchen. "Anon! You came!"

"Well, not yet," he grumbled, trying his best to keep the bulge in his shorts under control. The dining room inside the bakery was similarly crowded.

"You're a bit late to help out with the cake..." Pinkie said. "But maybe you could make a cream pie. Or you could try putting a bun in my oven," she added with a wry smirk.

"Cute," Anon said as he sat at bakery counter in the last vacant stool. Chrysalis stood close by. "Today was supposed to be my day off."

"Same," said the unicorn sitting beside him with a clipboard. He vaguely recognized her light grey coat and brunette mane.

"I believe we've met," Anon said. "Though I must apologize for misplacing your name."

Pinkie Pie popped out of the kitchen. "It's Raven Inkwell! Remember from chapter nine?"

Anon recognized her from the Town Hall when he got his studding permit. Mayor Mare, sitting just on the other side of her, helped provide the context of the memory as Mrs. Cup Cake came by with their drink orders.

"How could I forget?" Raven said in a tone that was hard to decipher as a complement or not. She didn't meet his eyes. "You introduced me to doing it 'human style' as you called it."

"Yes, I remember," Anon said, recalling the encounter.

The pencil in her mane fell out, along with the rest of her bun. Her mane fell free in a tangled mess swishing back and forth along with her body. Her mouth hung open as she panted and started to sweat. Her glasses slid off her slick nose and clattered onto the floor.

"So do you have an appointment at the spa or..?"

She chuckled. "No no. One of the fringe benefits of assisting the mayor is that when it comes time to issue studding permits, my estrus gets seen to quite thoroughly."

"I still say you're missing out," Mayor Mare said, giving her a little nudge. "You really must try his Deep Tissue Massage."

Raven sipped her drink. "Maybe next spring," she said.

"Kinkwell!?" a voice came from the doorway. "Holy shit, Kinkwell, is that really you!?" Raven groaned and rolled her eyes at her old nickname. Anon looked back over his shoulder as Shining Armor walked into the bakery. "I didn't think I'd see you here!"

"I take it you two know each other?" Anon asked.

"Yeah, I know her!" Shining Armor grinned. "I mean I know her!" His excitement gave way to fear as he quickly checked over his shoulder for a pink alicorn following him. "I mean, I knew her, back before I got married. When I was still in the Canterlot Royal Guard. She used to work as Princess Celestia's personal assistant."

Anon looked at Raven. "Oh?" Raven just snorted.

"Yeah!" Shining continued. "And when springtime rolled around, Celestia wanted to make sure that the troops didn't get distracted by all the mares in heat, so she appointed a certain somepony to be in charge of Guard stress relief."

"You, I take it?" Anon asked. Raven nodded.

Raven sipped her drink. "That was a long time ago."

"Yeah, shit..." Shining Armor rubbed the back of his neck. "It's been like, what, almost twenty years?"

"Is something wrong?" Anon asked. "I thought you didn't mind doing whorse... doing that. You didn't seem to mind doing it with me."

Raven set her drink down. "That was different. It took a long time for me to put 'Kinkwell' behind me. It's a big part of the reason why I left Canterlot."

Shining's demeanor softened. "Right, sorry. I didn't mean to... get so excited, uh, Ms. Raven. But Anon, you have no idea! I've been a unicorn my entire life, and I know how to use magic to deal with myself. But when Kink- when Raven did it... It wasn't just magic. It was magical!"

"Oh, you mean to..." Anon briefly made a jerking motion with his hand.

"Dude, you have no idea!" Shining continued. "This mare elevated that shit to an art form! It was the best-" Shining quickly checked over his shoulder again for any sign of his wife and lowered his voice anyway. "It was the best magic jobs I've ever had!"

Chrysalis bristled. "Well, this must be embarrassing for you. I'm standing right here!"

Shining put a hoof up in defense. "Sorry Chryssi. You have your talents, and she has hers."

"My special talent is transcribing paperwork without making clerical errors," Raven said, nodding to her quill and inkwell cutie mark.

"I have to respectfully disagree," Shining said. "That might be your career now, but your talent..." He started to get a little misty. "There was something special in that magic, Raven. There was something special in it! I don't know how you managed to do it, but it was like you could milk every last sperm out of my balls!"

The kitchen timer dinged and Pinkie Pie pulled out the trays of cupcakes. "Ooh, Anon, I know!" she said. "Once these cool down, you could could help with the frosting!" She sat down next to Anon. "I don't suppose you happen to know of a good, cream-based ingredient we could use to top those cupcakes, do you?" she asked with a grin.

Chrysalis grinned.

Shining grinned.

"Is it semen?" Anon asked.

"Cum-cakes?" Pinkie Pie squealed. "What a great idea you had all by yourself."

"Gross." Anon watched Pinkie Pie unload multiple baking pans of cupcakes, packing them close together on a larger serving platter. "Pinkie, I don't think anypony is going to want to eat cupcakes frosted with my man jam." Anon could hear the pony behind him lick their lips. He turned around and saw that the dining room had become standing-room-only as half the town packed their way inside, looking at him expectantly. The air inside the bakery became a miasma of estrus pheromones.

Shining Armor crossed his hind legs and bit his lip hard. "Fuck! I need to get out of here before I do something stupid. Good luck, Anon!" He teleported away in a flash.

Anon looked at the rest of the room full of mares that were practically drooling. "Uh..." Pinkie Pie set the large platter of unfrosted cupcakes on the counter beside him. "Listen, ladies, I know I've got this superhero reputation going on, but I'm just one guy, and there's a lot of you, and there are a lot of cupcakes. I don't think I'm even physically capable of... frosting that much!"

"Anon, there is no need to fret. I've something for when next we met!" A familiar zebra waded her way through the crowd. Zecora reached into her bag and presented a bottle to him. "This should be just what you need, to give your fruit unending seed!" Zecora looked at Raven. "A little work for its extraction, should see everypony's satisfaction."

Chrysalis leaned over to whisper, "And I still have a few tricks of my own."

Anon opened the bottle. It smelled like swamp water. He scanned the crowd and spotted Nurse Redheart. He met her eyes and waited for her to try to talk him out of it. But the way she was shuffling her hind legs impatiently gave him the impression that his safety wasn't at the front of her mind at the moment.

"Fuck it. I had a good run." Anon held his nose and swallowed the potion. It was acrid and suspiciously salty. He expected to puke instantly, but he didn't so much as burp. Incredibly it had no aftertaste at all. He sat and waited for a moment. "So how do I know whe-he-hen-ah, AH! OW!" Anon stood up quickly from the bar stool and hunched over, cupping his groin with his hand. It felt like the worst case of blue balls he had ever had. His dick got so hard so fast that it ripped a seam in his short, making Rarity nearly faint. He reached inside his shorts and felt his balls, each swollen to nearly the size of a kiwi fruit. "What the fuck did you do to me, Zecora!"

Zecora's hoof gently felt the heft of his scrotum through his shorts. "The potion's working as expected. Now it just needs to be ejected." Aching balls have a funny way of overriding common sense. Anon fumbled with his shorts and reached over to hold a tray of cupcakes in front of him.

"Let me help," Chrysalis said, wrapping his body in her green magic and lifting him up to stand on top of the bakery counter. She stripped his clothes off in front of everypony.

"The fuck is this, The Full Monty?" Anon asked as his voice, and the reference sailed over everypony's heads.

Chrysalis walked around behind the counter and levitated the tray of cupcakes in front of him. She looked at Raven. "Well? Work your magic."

Raven sighed. Her light-purple magic surrounded Anon's shaft in a perfectly fitted sleeve and she started to slowly work it up and down along his length.

It was far from the first time a unicorn wanted to use her magic on him like this, so he knew what to expect. But he only thought he knew what to expect. He realized that Shining Armor was right. There was something special in that magic. It wasn't the simple arcane friction along the surface of his skin. It was almost as if the aura penetrated completely throughout his dick, stimulating every single nerve within and without. And not just the part of his dick that he could see. Her magic went well below the base of his shaft, following it to the root somewhere within his pelvis, like an iceberg beneath the water.

"Holy shit!" Anon gasped. Whatever she was doing to him was making his lungs diaphragm spasm, making it hard to breathe, let alone speak. His knees would have buckled and his body would have collapsed were it not for Chrysalis holding him up with her magic.

After almost a whole minute, Raven glanced at the wall clock. "I must be losing my touch. They usually ejaculate by now."

Each stroke made Anon feel like he was having a stroke. His face contorted asymmetrically. All his strength left his arms. Any words he tried to utter came out as a jumbled mess of guttural vowels. He knew he wouldn't need much more time.

"Don't mind me," Chrysalis said, poking her nose out from between Anon's legs. The side of her horn bumped between his butt cheeks as his heavy balls covered her eyes. "These aren't my glasses!" She tilted her head back and let his balls slide into her mouth as she licked them both with her extra-long prehensile tongue, coating them with her saliva, letting it absorb through his skin. The effect joined the potion already coursing through him.

"F- FUUAH!" Anon gasped as his breath rushed out of him in a hollow yell. Chrysalis felt his extra-full, enlarged balls in her mouth make it all the more apparent as they started to flex and tighten. She held the tray up in front of his dick as Raven stroked him faster with her magic. The mob of mares pushed and shoved to get as close as they could in front of him while their hooves played with themselves in a carnal sea of masturbation.

Anon realized that this was how he was going to die...

Somepony once warned him, these mares were gonna swarm him. His ain't the biggest tool in the shed.
Chryssi was looking kind of dumb, with her horn under his bum, with his taint up against her forehead.

Then his dick starts coming and it don't stop coming. Fed to the mares with their hooves clit-rubbin'.
Didn't make sense not to work for fun. His dick got stroked and the cakes got cum.

So much to frost, many to feed. So drink potions to refill your seed!
You'll never know if you go slow. You'll never shoot if you don't blow.

"Anon, you're an all-star! Get your aim on! Go spray!"

"Raven, you're a cock star! Get your game on. Get laid!"

"Don't let that frosting get cold!"

Every last cupcake got sold.

Rope after rope rocketed out of Anon's dick. Some of it frosted the cupcakes. But most of it sailed out into the crowd of horny mares, waiting with mouths agape like it was the first snowfall of winter. Anon's balls flexed and pulsed as they pumped his cum out, slowly shrinking until his production started to slow.

Chrysalis's horn pulsed green, enveloping his balls, refilling them immediately. Anon didn't scream so much as roared. His hips thrusted reflexively in Chrysalis's magic embrace. Raven was surprised, but her magic didn't stop stroking or even slow down. She knew to keep going until the very last dribble. Whenever that came.

Chrysalis swapped out the trays of cupcakes. She kept refilling his balls and Raven kept stroking until every last pastry, and mare was thoroughly frosted. Chrysalis finally relented and Raven squeezed the final cum shots out until all that was left was a final dribble down his shaft and balls into Chrysalis's waiting mouth.

It was everywhere. The only ponies spared was Pinkie Pie in the kitchen, and Raven, keeping herself out of the line of fire.

Chrysalis stepped back and slowly lowered Anon down from the countertop. He slumped over and almost fell into Raven's lap. He looked gaunt. She could see his collarbone and ribs.

"Water," he wheezed.

Nurse Redheart walked carefully across the slippery floor. "Whoa! You are really dehydrated!" Pinkie Pie quickly got him a glass of water with a straw and held it for him to sip. "You've lost..." she looked at the sheer volume of fluids covering the room. "You've lost a lot of electrolytes."

Anon could barely open his eyes. They felt like they had been replaced with cotton balls covered in sawdust. He looked at Chrysalis and Raven. His dry lips almost cracked as he smiled. "Best. Nut. Ever."

A swath of yellow magic parted the frosted mares, wiping the floor dry, as a tall, white alicorn strode swiftly inside the bakery. "Away from him you monster!" Celestia's hoof shoved Chrysalis away from his side.

"Oh shi-!" Chrysalis vanished in a flash of light as she was shoved too far away from Anon, and was forcibly teleported back to the house.

"He needs I.V. saline!" Nurse Redheart said.

Celestia scooped him up in her magic. "It will take more than that. A powerful magic did this to him. Only a more powerful magic can undo it." She turned to carry him out. She looked back at Raven. "Madam Inkwell, I'm afraid I must call on your assistance once more."

Raven followed her out as Anon skirted the fringes of consciousness.

Best. Nut. Ever.

He didn't know how long he had been out. But when he next blinked awake, his eyes felt much better. His lips still felt a bit chapped and he was tired beyond measure. It took all the strength he had to open his eyes. He knew this room well. It was his massage suite. His eyes gravitated to an I.V. bag hanging above him, following the line down to his arm. The massage table seemed to vibrate with a low frequency, as though there was a generator running outside, or an unbalanced washing machine on the other side of the wall. All he could hear was his raspy breathing, which sounded louder than it felt.

The bed, and the whole room shook harder for a moment, like a large truck driving by, making the ceiling light flicker briefly. His eyes moved to the other side and his head listed along with them. The brass of the room's doorknob shimmered with light purple magic at it turned. The unicorn from earlier, Raven, walked in, blindfolded. She carried a large bottle of juice.

"More Croc-Assist®," she said. The aura around the bottle went from purple to yellow levitating it out of his field of view. Without another word, Raven turned around and walked back out, closing the door behind her. Anon strained to look in the direction the bottle went. He saw the motion in his peripherals, seeming to be the source of the raspy breathing.

Princess Celestia held her breath to chug the bottle of sports drink before she was panting again. She tossed the empty bottle into the corner of the room with several others. She looked haggard. Her eyes looked dull, and tired. Her mane hung limp, and her fur glistened with sweat. Anon's eyes drifted down her body to where she was straddling the large Sybian vibrator. The whirring motor inside it sounded tired, like it was on the brink of breaking down.

The vibrations intensified and the whole room shook again as Celestia quickly lifted herself off the vibrator and held a bowl under herself. Anon couldn't see it, but he could hear her filling it. She winced and grunted as she strained herself to cum as much as she could before she poured the bowl into a cup and sat back down on the Sybian to start again.

"Tia..." Anon wheezed.

"Anon!" Celestia's tired eyes became bright and alert as she looked up at him. In an instant she was on her hooves, rushing to his side. "You're awake again!" Anon opened his mouth. "Shh, don't try to speak. Save your strength. Here..." She picked up the cup and held in front of him. He didn't have to smell it to know what it was. She carefully lifted his head with her hoof and brought the cup to his lips. He drank it slowly. Carefully. He could feel the vitalizing effects flowing out through his body. She stayed by his side and waited until he finished. Then she just stood there and waited.

"What?" Anon asked.

She slowly smiled. "I was worried that you were going to pass out again. Are you sticking around this time?" she asked.

Anon didn't feel like he was going to pass out. He nodded. "Yeah."

Celestia sighed in relief. "Good. Because I don't know how much longer that thing was going to last," she said, switching off the Sybian. "And I don't know how much more I would have lasted."

"How long have you been..?"

"As long as it would have taken," she said resolutely. She walked with shaky legs to set the empty cup down on the tray table with the others.

"Did you... were all those..?"

She nodded. "You needed it."

"Princess?" Raven's voice came from outside.

"Just a moment," Celestia said. With a flash of her magic, she restored the Glamor on herself. "Okay."

Raven nervously pushed the door open. "I heard voices. Are you dressed?"

"Yes," Celestia answered.

Raven pulled off her blindfold. "Anon, you're awake!"

"But at what cost?" he wheezed.

"I... I'm sorry I made you almost cum to death," Raven said. "I never thought that I could take a life in that way."

"You had help, Raven," Celestia said with fire in her eyes. "Chrysalis has shown her hoof! She will pay dearly for this!"

She turned to leave but Anon reached over and grabbed Celestia's wing with a strength even he didn't expect to have.

"No," he said simply.

Celestia balked. "No!? Anon, she nearly made you ejaculate your life force out! You can't seriously-"

"No."

"But why!?"

Anon glanced at Raven before looking back at Celestia. "Can we have a moment?"

Celestia visibly bristled for a moment but suppressed it just as quickly. "Of course."

Celestia stepped out and closed the door. Anon waved Raven closer. Closer still until she could smell Celestia's nectar on his breath. He whispered into her ear. "Best. Nut. Ever."

Raven blushed. "Well, thank you, Anon. I just wish it didn't almost kill you. Perhaps once you are feeling better you can repay the favor."

"Oh? I thought you said you were set for the season after all those studding permit tryouts."

"I was," Raven said. "But apparently there was something in those green cupcakes that has all the mares in town going back into heat. Including me."

Those green cupcakes.

"So all that work I've done..?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Oh. Fuck." Anon sat up. He reached over and pulled his I.V. out. "AGH!" Anon clutched his bleeding arm.

Celestia rushed back inside followed closely by Nurse Redheart. "What happened!?"

"He pulled his I.V. out!" Raven said.

"It looks so cool in the movies!" Anon groaned.

Redheart laid him back down and elevated his arm before wrapping him with a bandage and applying pressure. "How many times am I going to have to tell you to stop doing stupid shit!?"

"You might as well put it on my tombstone," he said. "I'm fine. I just need to get home."

"You're not well enough to be walking anywhere," Celestia said. Raven fetched the wheelchair from the lobby.

Anon chuckled. "Heh, usually I'm the one wheeling the mares out after being in here."

Outside it was already dark. In fact, it was so late that it was now early. The only light in the streets came from the many many candles held by the enormous crowd of mares standing vigil.

"He's alive!" they cheered as Raven rolled him out. The crowd rushed together, but gave him space as he moved through them. "Get well soon!" they said as he passed by.

Among them was a very tired Aloe and Lotus carrying clipboards with long appointment lists. "Please get well soon, Meester Anon! Soon please!"

Raven wheeled Anon home. Once they were close enough, he could see Chrysalis's hooves and worried face pressed up against the window. Raven rolled him inside and Chrysalis rushed over to greet him.

Celestia walked in after them and swiftly moved between Chrysalis and Anon. Chrysalis visibly shrank. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn you back to stone right this instant!" Celestia bellowed.

Chrysalis's eyes glistened. She had no answer to give.

"It was the best nut ever."

Celestia turned around and glared. "Excuse me?"

"It was the best nut ever," Raven repeated.

"It was an accident!" Anon said. "Chrysalis wasn't trying to make me cum to death on purpose." He looked pointedly at Chrysalis. "Right?"

"Of course not!" Chrysalis said. "How would that possibly profit me!?"

Celestia lunged forward and swung at Chrysalis, stopping at the last moment. Chrysalis flinched away. Celestia whispered, "You better watch yourself. You're hanging on by a thread."

"Enough!" Anon shouted, getting up out of the wheelchair.

Celestia walk over and gave him a disapproving look. "She almost killed you."

"She made. A mistake."

"She's bad for you."

Anon turned around to grab a bottle of beer from the fridge. He opened it and took a sip. "Yeah. Well, then she suits me."

"You deserve better."

"Maybe," Anon said between sips. "Maybe not."

Celestia sighed. "Take care of yourself." She turned and left.

"..."

"..."

"I think she's jealous," Raven said.

"Yeah, that seemed pretty obvious," Chrysalis said.

"Well, I should probably get going, too," Raven said. "This was supposed to be my day off." She looked at the clock. "Yesterday was, anyway."

"Hey, before you go, let me give you something," Anon said, grabbing a pen and paper. "As a thank you."

"For what? Almost killing you?" Raven asked.

"No. For the best nut ever!" he said, giving her the slip of paper.

"Fuuuck that's a lot of repeat customers," Anon said, walking past the queue outside the spa. He pushed open the doors and went inside.

"Meester Anon!"

"What is it Aloe?" Anon asked. "When you shout at me like that first thing in the morning it can only be good news."

"This mare says she has a Fast Pass!" Lotus said, holding the slip of paper Raven had brought in. "To cut to the front of the line!"

"Yes. That's how a Fast Pass works, Lotus," Anon said, smiling at Raven.

"You can't just hand out Fast Passes, Anon!" Aloe scolded.

"I can, and I have!" Anon said, waving for Raven to follow after him to his suite. "She earned it, and I'm honoring it."

"There are appointments waiting!"

Anon grinned at Raven. "Don't worry. I don't think this will take too long."

It took all of Raven's focus to maintain the spell as her hooves gripped the edges of the massage table. Her whole body rocked back and forth as Anon plunged his forearm in and out of her dripping-wet pussy. Meanwhile her magic stroking his dick flickered along with her concentration as her entire body trembled. Her pussy spasmed around his arm and spurted as she came again.

She looked at Anon in the mirror on the far wall of the massage suite. He wore a smug grin.

"That's two," he said. "I gave you three to one odds. One more and I win."

In her heart, Raven had already won. Getting this kind of attention returned to her was all she ever wanted. Her days of assisting Celestia as 'Kinkwell' had her jacking off every royal guard with no such reward for herself at the end of the day. The fringe benefits of being Mayor Mare's assistant when it came to issuing permits was nice enough. Win or lose, Anon's fist turning her into a quivering mess was bliss. Even so, she was never one to shy away from a challenge...

"Not if I get you to cum first!" she said, restoring the spell stroking his dick, moving it faster. Anon's smug demeanor broke and his eyes started to go off in different directions like a chameleon. He regained his footing and started moving his fist inside her in small circles, hitting her g-spot with expert precision.

"Not if I get you to cum first!" he returned her words. It was a glorious battle. A war of attrition. Each opponent gaining and losing ground to the other. The sounds of the conflict echoed off the walls with wet squelches and slaps of flesh against fur. The strain of metal struts creaking and breaking. "F-fuck!" Anon cried out, falling forward onto Raven, collapsing the massage table. She fell to the floor on top of the table and he fell with her with his arm trapped insider her spasming pussy as he started to spurt his cum into her tail.

They both panted together. Anon could feel her heart pounding through her vaginal walls. "Best four out of seven?" she asked.

There was an insistent knock at the door. "MEESTER ANON!"

Anon sighed and slowly pulled his arm out of Raven's dripping pussy. "Maybe a rematch some other time."

Raven grinned. "Can I have another Fast Pass?"

Author's Note

Best. Nut. Ever.

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21. Applejack

At the Ponyville spa, there was an insistent knock at door to Anon's massage suite. "MEESTER ANON!" Lotus shouted through the door.

Anon sighed and slowly pulled his arm out of Raven Inkwell's dripping pussy.

Raven grinned. "Can I have another Fast Pass?"

"I'm pretty sure that's something that we can only get away with once," he said, toweling himself dry. "Once a week at most!" he added before he opened the door to let her out. She walked past him on shaky hooves. Lotus glared at him and tapped her hoof impatiently on the tile floor. "Yeah, I get it!" he said. "Who's the next lucky mare?"

"We have a bigger problem," Lotus said.

"A bigger problem than a town full of horny mares, Lotus?" Anon asked. "Let's not say things we can't take back."

Lotus stammered for a moment. "A different problem!"

"Well don't keep me in suspense," Anon said, following her out to the lobby.

"We are having a problem with our plumbing," Aloe said.

"Phrasing," Anon snickered, following Lotus out the back of the spa lobby to the utilities room. She showed him the pipe leading from the boiler room to the sauna and the laundry room. The various pipe connections, valves and flanges were leaking steam at each junction. "What fresh fuckary is this!? Is this why the showers get cold so fast? Who the fuck tries to stop a steam leak with duct tape!? That'd last a month at most!"

"We have a pony that comes by to fix them, but she-"

"Clearly did a shitty job! I'm on this!" Anon said. "Where is the nearest hardware store?"

"There's one next to Quills and Sofas," Lotus said.

"You mean Beds and Breakfast?" Anon asked.

"No on the other side of it."

Anon turned to leave, but Aloe grabbed his wrist. "Anon, you can't leave us again! Not now!"

"Aloe, Lotus, come here," Anon said, kneeling down to speak quietly to them. "Let me explain something. As much fun as it is to get drenched from head to toe in mare cum, and it is a lot of fun; if there isn't a hot shower waiting for me at the end of a long work day, I will be the opposite of a happy camper. I will be an unhappy camper." He stood back up. "I'll be right back. I promise."

Anon walked a couple blocks away to the far side of the market district. Past Beds & Breakfast, past Quills & Sofas. That was when he found it.

"Pipes and Fittings." Anon read the sign aloud. "Finally a store that makes sense." He walked inside to find racks and shelves of plumbing hardware. One of the store clerks was busy taking the measurements for the tailored outfit a pony was trying on for a fitting. Anon shook his head. "I honestly don't know what I was expecting."

"I'll be with you in just a moment," said the pale-beige stallion, sporting a two-tone green mane under his teal Stetson hat before turning his attention back to his current client. The red stallion trying on the tuxedo. "Does that look good to you sir?"

"Eeyup!"

"How's the fit? Do you have enough room in the inseam?"

The red stallion turned a little redder. "Eeyup."

"Okay. I can make the adjustments we talked about. It should be ready in a couple days."

The red stallion stepped out of the suit and the tailor neatly hung it on a hanger and made a few last notes in his notebook. Big Macintosh turned to walk out of the shop but stopped in front of Anon. It wasn't the first time the two of them had crossed paths, and it wasn't often that the large stallion had to look up at anypony. He met Anon's eyes with a neutral expression. He didn't have the same vitriol for Anon that some other stallions seemed to harbor. He didn't see him as competition. Or at least he wouldn't have, before he got out of the studding game. He simply regarded Anon with a nod in professional courtesy.

"Non."

"Mac." Big Mac walked past Anon to leave the store before the other stallion trotted over to greet him properly.

"Welcome to Pipes and Fittings! I'm Pistachio," he introduced himself. "Anon, I presume?"

The only human in the world looked at himself. "How did you guess?"

"Miss Rarity has told me all about you!" Pistachio said.

"Did she now?"

Pistachio nodded. "I'm such a big, big fan of hers!"

"Aren't we all."

"I must say, you look exactly the way she described!"

"Is that good or bad?"

"Neither. It's merely empirical."

"Right."

"So how may I help you today? Are you looking to be fitted for a suit?" he asked.

"No, I'm actually just here for some plumbing hardware," Anon said, walking along the shelves, grabbing various pipes and connectors. "I'm also going to need a couple adjustable wrenches."

"The tools are towards the back," Pistachio directed.

Anon headed towards the back of the store as the door chimed again.

"Pistachio, darling! How in the world are you?" Rarity's familiar voice sang.

"It's always a good day when you visit, Miss Rarity!" he answered. "I don't have any tea ready, but I could put a kettle on if you'd like."

"I'm afraid this isn't a social call, darling" Rarity said as the door chimed again. "I was hoping you could do a fitting for my friend here."

"I've got better things I could be doing!" Applejack said in her unmistakable accent. "This ain't necessary!"

"Oh but it is, darling!" Rarity insisted. "You know she wants to marry you, and you need to be ready for when she proposes. It could be any day now!"

"Do we really need to get dressed up though?"

"Darling, Applejack, darling, a bride- er, a mare is never more beautiful than on her wedding day."

"But a suit though?" Applejack asked. "Why can't I just wear my gala dress?"

"Well, one of you has to be the groom, darling," Rarity said. "And the groom wears a suit. And you and I both know that won't be her. She always dresses in style."

"But Lyra and Bonbon both wore dresses for their wedding!" Applejack said.

"Well, of course, darling. They're lesbians. But as you have both repeated many, many times, despite the mountain of evidence, that neither of you are lesbians. Unless..."

"No! We ain't!"

"A suit then, darling?"

Applejack nodded. "I suppose."

"Hey 'Stachio, do have Teflon tape?" Anon asked walking from out back with an arm full of stuff.

Pistachio pointed to the next aisle. "On the fourth shelf near-"

"Anon! Darling!" Rarity squealed as her eyes lit up. "Fancy seeing you here! How auspicious!"

"Rarity, no!" Anon quickly grabbed a roll of Teflon tape and dumped everything on the checkout counter. "Whatever it is you're about to say next, the answer is no. I'm way too busy right now!"

"Oh but you must, darling! This is simply inspired!"

"I'm walking away now!" Anon paid as fast as he could and grabbed everything to power-walk back to the spa.

"We'll be back in two shakes, darling!" Rarity said to Pistachio and she pulled Applejack along to chase after Anon. "Heavens, darling you've quite the stride!" she said jogging after Anon.

"Remember what I said about being busy?"

"This won't take but a moment darling," Rarity said. "I simply need to schedule you for a private event."

"All of my events are private," Anon said.

"The other day at the bakery wasn't very private," Applejack said.

"You know what I mean," Anon said. "Make an appointment with Aloe."

"I intend to, darling."

They followed him back to the spa. "Wait, what are you going to do with all that?" Applejack asked.

Anon looked her dead in the eyes. "I'm gonna lay some pipe."

Rarity walked over to the appointment counter while Applejack chased Anon out into the back room of the spa. He turned off the boiler to start replacing leaking pipes and joints. "You can't be doing this! This is my job!" Applejack shouted.

"Well you're bad at it," Anon said pointing at all the sloppy craftmanship as he pulled old pipes apart.

"I ain't incompetent!" Applejack said. "I'm a business mare! If you fix it once, you get paid once. But if you set up service plan..."

"The fuck? I thought you were the Element of Honesty."

"I am. And I can honestly tell you that I need to fix these pipes again. I never told no lie about fixing them permanently. So why don't you go back to your job so I can do mine?"

"No! Not unless you're going to do it right!"

"This ain't none of your business!"

"Oh, it very much is my business now! Nopony is taking Aloe or Lotus for a ride!" He leaned in close. "That's my job!"

"I need this service contract," Applejack said. "Things have been tight on the farm ever since Big Mac settled down and retired from... doing that."

"Studding?"

Applejack winced. "I ain't a fan of saying that in the same sentence as my brother."

"That's fair."

"Sugar Belle was even talking about letting him get out of retirement to help out, but it don't much seem worth it now, what with you cornering that market."

"Don't try to turn the tables on me!"

"I ain't turning no tables that weren't already turnt!" she said.

Anon threw his hand in the air. "I don't have time for this! So here's what's going to happen next: You're going to fix these pipes, properly this time. And then..." Anon emptied his bits pouch. "I'm going to pay you a hundred bits to fuck off."

"Is that it?" she asked.

"Don't tell me you charge them more than that!"

"No! I mean... that's all that's going to happen?" she asked.

Anon's expression softened. "AJ, look, I remember what it was like to be a wage slave, living paycheck to paycheck, worrying about where your next meal is going to come from. So I'm not going to tell anypony about your little side-hustle. Normally I wouldn't care. But this is my house now, you understand?" She nodded. "Listen, another month from now when all this spring heat shit calms down, and you need work or whatever, just let me know. We can figure something out. And for fuck's sake, you're best friends with the princess. She's not going to let you lose the farm!"

Applejack smiled. "Thanks."

"Now fix the goddamn pipes! There's a line out there for the sauna!"

Anon closed the door to the boiler room and walked back out through the lobby.

"Sorry for the delay, ladies. Who's next?" The mare at the front of the queue waved her hoof excitedly. "Right this way."

"Oh, Anonymous! Darling!" Rarity sang as she trotted over across the lobby.

"I'm with a client, Rarity," he said. "Whatever it is, it'll have to wait."

"But this will just take a minute, darling!"

"A minute I don't have!" he said, helping his client up onto the new massage table. "I'm already behind schedule."

"Can't you multi-task, darling?" she asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Anon muttered. "Rarity, if you want to stay and talk, that's up to her."

The mare on the table smirked. "I don't mind if she watches."

"Great. Super," Anon said, applying a liberal coat of lube to his hand and wrist. "What was it that you ordered?"

"A double, with an à la mode, please."

Rarity closed the door behind her. "I'm sorry darling, are you running a café here now too?"

"It was the twins' idea," Anon said, pointing at a nearby copy of the menu. "Makes it easier for clients to know what they want and for more accurate scheduling." Anon started working his fingers inside his client's pussy. "Under the Deep Tissue Massage section."

Rarity looked at the menu. "So a double with an à la mode would be..."

"Two maregasms and a cream-pie," Anon explained as he slid his hand inside the mare.

"Yes, I can see that, darling" Rarity said as she read the menu with the wet sounds of Anon fist-fucking the mare on the massage table. "What is the... clam buffet?"

"I'm pretty sure that was what you got the last time you were in here," Anon said as he started to work the length of his arm in and out of the other mare. "It's where I perform oral sex."

"I see. So I assume the carrot massage is-" The mare on the table moaned over the symphony of wet squelches coming from under her tail, juices splattering on the tile floor, and air escaping that were totally not queefs. "Heavens darling! I certainly hope I didn't sound like that last time."

"Do you really want an answer to that?" Anon asked, using his free hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He shifted his stance to get a better angle and keep going. "I really hope you didn't just come in here to quiz me about the new menu."

"Right, of course not darling. I wanted to talk to you about Applejack."

"What about her?" Anon grunted, wrapping his other arm around the mare to flick her bean while he fisted her.

"Well, as I was saying earlier, darling, -"

The other mare started moaning louder.

"Rarity you're going to have to speak up."

"I said I wanted to schedule you for a private event, darling!"

"I told you to schedule it with Aloe," Anon said loudly over the wet slapping of his biceps against the mare's ass.

"I did, darling! But I just... where even is Applejack?"

"Fixing the spa plumbing!"

"But today was supposed to be her day off!"

"Some people don't get days off unless they're dead or dying!" The mare on the table quivered and shook as her pussy gushed out around his arm, splashing onto Rarity's hooves.

"Goodness!" Rarity stepped back and quickly wiped herself dry with a towel while Anon pulled his arm out with a wet 'shlorp'. He stepped out of his shorts and stood behind the mare on the table to start fucking her. Rarity looked shocked.

"What? It's the à la mode." Anon said as his hips started slapping against the other pony's.

Rarity looked at the other pony's face. "But darling, he- it's intercourse! And you're not even wed!"

"Don't knock it until you try it," she said, barely able to keep her tongue in her mouth.

"But he isn't even..." Rarity picked up one of the many pony dildos. The other mare wasn't even listening anymore. Her eyes were going off in different directions as fresh wetness dripped to the floor. Rarity just watched the mare getting fucked for well over a minute. Several even. She chewed her lip and tried to remember why she hadn't taken a dicking yet. "Maybe marriage is just a piece of paper..." she muttered under the noise of the other mare cumming yet again. She looked away and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Since this was supposed to be Applejack's day off, I had scheduled a session for her. But since she'll be working through it by the looks of it, you should be able to catch up with her missing hour, darling."

"How magnanimous," Anon said, gripping the mare's tail in his hand and giving it a little yank. It seemed to please her.

"Well, I am the Element of Generosity after all, darling," she said. "And in the spirit of one good deed deserving another..."

"Oh, here we go..." Anon rolled his eyes.

"... I'd like to reschedule her session for this evening, just after the usual end of your operating hours."

"And there it is."

Rarity pursed her lips. "Yes, Aloe made it quite clear to me about your stance on working overtime, darling. But returning the favor to Applejack for ensuring you have a working, hot shower at the end of the day would be a fair exchange, no?"

"I suppose..." Anon said as he continued to fuck the mare on his massage table. She tried to speak but it came out as a jumbled mess. She made a twirling motion with her hoof. "Did you want to roll over?" Anon asked. She nodded. Anon paused just long enough to roll her onto her back. She leaned her head back and looked, upside down, at Rarity with unfocused eyes as Anon resumed. Her jaw went slack and her tongue lolled out.

Rarity looked at the wall clock. "Really now darling, you don't need to show off."

Anon held the mares legs while he fucked her with her hooves over his shoulders. He looked at the clock. It had been a few minutes. "This is actually pretty typical."

"Please-" the mare begged.

"Right. Sorry." Anon thrusted faster and held himself as deep as he could push inside her as he came. She moaned an quivered, feeling his cum douse the flames of her heat. Seeing the mare's O-face again made Rarity chew her lip. Anon held himself still to give it time to soak in. "So this thing... tonight..." he panted, and pointed at the menu, "is it just a regular session or..."

"Well, since she's getting married, it's supposed to be a little girls' night out soiree."

"Oh, you mean like a bachelorette party?" Anon asked.

Rarity somehow turned even whiter. "Anon, no! Don't say the P-word!"

Pinkie Pie burst out of the ceiling vent. "Did somepony say PARTY!?"

The last client of the day shuffled on unsteady legs toward the exit. Anon waved after her, "Wait, miss! You forgot-" The length of wire ran out and the vibrating ball in her ass was unceremoniously pulled out with an audible pop. Her knees buckled and Anon ran over to catch her fall. He helped her back onto her hooves.

"Okay, now I can walk," she said, as the vibrator buzzed against the tile floor like a nest of angry bees. Anon unplugged it and put it into the utility sink to be cleaned with the other tools. Anon wiped the sweat from his forehead with his slightly-less-sticky hand and he turned on the tap with some hot water and added some disinfecting soap.

The hot water was a good sign. It meant that Applejack had done her job well. And more importantly, there was a shower waiting for him after he was done here.

"Oh, Anonymous..!" Rarity sang as she trotted into the lobby. She stopped at the entrance to his suite like she has walked into a wall as the miasma of marecum assaulted her nostrils. She took two large steps back and wafted the air away from herself. "Goodness, darling! How can you possibly work in such conditions!?"

Anon looked back at her over his shoulder and shrugged. Every single part of him was sticky. "You get used to it." He grabbed the hose from the spool rack and sprayed down the massage table and the rest of the room before squeegeeing the water on the tile floor into the drain. He coiled up the hose and put it away. "So where is the guest of honor?" he asked as he walked out.

"She'll be along shortly, darling," Rarity said. Pinkie Pie was hopping excitedly in the lobby while Lotus made a sign for the door that said Private Event. Just as soon as it was on the door, Lotus dove out of the way as it burst open and Rainbow Dash flew through with Applejack in her hooves.

"I got her!" Rainbow announced.

"Consarnit, Rainbow!" Applejack yelled. "I ain't even had a chance to wash up!" True to her word, her orange fur was marred with the dirt and grime of a day of manual labor on the farm.

"And on that note," Anon turned and walked into the shower room. He tossed his dirty clothes into the laundry bin and turned on the water. It warmed up quickly and he stepped under the spray. He put his palm against the tile wall and closed his eyes, just letting the warm water run over his tired body. He heard the door open. "Rarity, I swear-"

"It's just me," Applejack said, setting her hat on the bench and pulling the ribbons out of her mane and tail. "Hoping you don't mind." She turned on the shower next to him and stepped under the water.

Anon looked over at her as she just stood there with her forehead against the cool tile wall in silence.

"..."

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah..." she grumbled.

"..."

"..."

"I thought you were the Element of Honesty."

She snorted. "I'm fine... Just tired is all."

"Aren't you excited for you bachelorette p-?" Applejack's eyes shot open and they both looked to the door. Anon corrected himself. "Your little... gathering out there?"

She relaxed and slumped against the wall again. "I'm excited on the inside."

"Do you mean like in the way that most mares come here for?" he asked.

She glanced over at the modest penis next to her, wondering what all the fuss was about with him. "That too." She shuffled her hooves. "I just wasn't expecting this tonight."

"Well that's what makes it a surprise- uh... p-word," Anon said. He looked at the stains in her mane. The dirt was now just wet dirt. "You're gonna need soap, too." He held out the bottle of Mane & Tail shampoo.

"I know how to bathe," she said, but didn't move to take the bottle from him.

"Do you want me to..?" He shook the bottle in the general direction of her mane.

She shrugged. "Sure." Anon adjusted the direction of her water enough to let him put some shampoo in her mane without it getting immediately rinsed out. He waited for moment for her to start washing herself but she didn't move. "Well, go on."

"Oh." Anon set the bottle down and started scrubbing her mane. He worked it into a lather, getting it deep into her hair to wash her scalp with his fingers. Under the noise of the running water, he could hear her humming in appreciation.

"That does feel good," she said.

He worked his way towards her ears slowly, taking care not to touch them by surprise. He scrubbed the rest of her mane against itself, turning the lather dark with grime. He grabbed the detachable showerhead and gave her a thorough rinse before repeating with another shampoo lather. After that was some crème rinse conditioner that he let sit in while he added some shampoo to her tail.

Despite the intimate setting, and the expressed purpose of the event that evening, he took effort to avoid the dock of her tail as he washed it. He tried to keep it professional, despite the nature of his vocation. He was mindful of the showerhead direction as he rinsed her tail. The other bottle was a body-wash for fur. He drizzled a zigzag along her back and scrubbed her fur along with giving her a classic massage.

Applejack's front hooves slowly slid across the tile floor, out from under her as her front half lowered to the floor with her hind end propped up. Anon had to bend over to follow her shoulders but soon all he could reasonably reach was her hips. Feeling his hands on her flanks, she hummed in enjoyment, but then started to grow increasingly agitated.

"You're just making it worse!" She flagged her tail and backed up to pin him against the wall. She lifted her calves to rub her marehood against the side of his shaft. "Come on!" She managed to angle his tip enough to get it inside her and she pressed her hips back against his, taking his whole length inside her. It didn't give her it instant satisfaction she was seeking. She humped against him, making the wall shake before his hands grabbed her hips tightly to stop her.

Her senses snapped back to her through her haze and she looked back at the human behind her, trying to keep his pelvis from getting shattered. Applejack was mortified and quickly stepped away. "I'm sorry, I- I don't know what..."

"It's okay," Anon groaned, rubbing his lower back. "I know mares aren't themselves for this."

Applejack overturned the showerhead on the floor and turned down the temperature, squatting over it while it sprayed cold water up at her marehood. "Still, it's no excusing me doing that to you!" she said. "Forcing myself on you like that, and all."

"No harm, no foul," Anon assured her. "At least my pelvis didn't get smashed." He grabbed a towel to dry himself off. Applejack was still practically sitting on the showerhead with her wet mane plastered against her neck. "Um, once you're done rinsing... that, don't forget to rinse out the conditioner too." She just nodded without opening her eyes.

Anon walked over to his locker to get a clean change of clothes, and exited the locker room. In the handful of minutes that he was in the shower, the entire spa had transformed into a club. Vinyl Scratch had her turntables and amplifiers already set up an playing house music. The base and the tweeters were making the speakers go to war.

A couple of long tables were set up, one covered in catering food, and the other with wrapped gifts. And in the center of the spa, the hot tub was occupied by Rainbow Dash and her closest friends.

Just above the hot tub, was a small stage with a silver pole running from the floor to the ceiling. And there, dancing around that pole in a vest and cowboy hat, was a pale yellow stallion named-

"Braeburn!?" Applejack balked as she walked out of the locker room behind Anon.

"Oh, hey A.J!" Braeburn said in his western accent while giving her a wave with his hoof. He resumed his dance routine, gyrating his hips, making his semi-turgid shaft swing around in a circular motion.

Pinkie Pie cheered from the hot tub. "Yeah! Windmill dick! Windmill dick!" Rainbow Dash pumped her hoof into the air. Fluttershy covered her eyes with her wings. Twilight Sparkle was more confused than anything. Rarity wore the dull, goofy smile of a mare that had located the hot-tub's water jet.

"Who's the lucky lady tonight?" Braeburn asked.

"Ooh ooh! She is!" Pinkie Pie squealed, pointing at Applejack.

"I ain't!" Applejack turned to run.

Rarity grabbed her with her magic. "Oh don't be such a sour patch, Darling." She levitated her over to the chair added to the stage. Rainbow Dash quickly tied her with some rope.

"You dare use my own bondage against me, Dash!?" Applejack growled. Rainbow Dash just grinned and snickered as she tied the ropes with surprising expertise.

"She's all yours, Darling!" Rarity said.

Braeburn gave Applejack an awkward look before he started dancing again in front of her, making pointed, thrusting motions at her with his dick.

"Are you sure you want to settle down and miss out on all this?" Pinkie Pie said.

Applejack leaned away in her seat and winced. "More than ever."

"Is the bride to-be sure she don't want to go for one last ride?" Rarity asked.

"Yes!" Applejack shouted.

"Maybe just kiss the tip a little bit, darling" Rarity suggested.

"Alright by me," Braeburn said. "That'd be mighty appreciated."

"I will bite it off!" Applejack yelled, yanking at the ropes until the wooden chair frame broke in half and fell over with her, propping her exposed flank up into the air.

"She's ready for you, Darling!"

"Don't you dare!" Applejack shouted.

"I wasn't actually gonna mount you..." Braeburn said. "I mean, unless you wanted me to."

"She's just playing hard to get, Darling."

"Rarity, I swear!"

"Alright, this has gone on long enough!" Anon said, rushing up onto the stage to untie Applejack. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! I could have got myself free!" Applejack said defensively. They both glared at Braeburn.

"I wasn't gonna do nothing! Swear!" he said as he backed away and resumed dancing around the pole.

"Well, that's rather rude, Darling!" Rarity complained. "The poor chap is left in the lurch, all hot and bothered now and without a mare to put it in!"

"Are you volunteering?" Anon asked.

Uncertainty flittered across Rarity's expression briefly. "Of course not, Darling! You know perfectly well that I am keeping myself pure until marriage." Rainbow Dash almost choked on her cider trying to suppress her snicker. Rarity was indignant for a moment, but only a moment before she saw a practical solution. "Ah, but what about the other bride-to-be?"

Rainbow Dash stopped laughing. "The what now?"

"You are the other bride, Darling, no?" Rarity asked.

"I thought this was AJ's bachelorette party," Dash said.

"Party!" Pinkie visibly vibrated.

"Who did you think she was marrying, Darling?" Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash grinned. Applejack glared at her. "Don't you dare say whatever it is you're thinking!"

Rainbow Dash just laughed. "Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a surprise engagement for you."

Applejack looked back at her. "I thought this was supposed to be a surprise engagement for you."

They both looked at Rarity.

Rarity just smirked. "Surprise! You're getting married!" They were not as grateful as she was expecting. "Well, neither of you were ever going to pop the question! Applejack is too stubborn, and Rainbow Dash is so far in the closet she's finding Hearth's Warming gifts!"

"I'm not a lesbian!" Rainbow Dash protested.

"Well, then you should be quite interested in what Braeburn has for you, Darling." Rainbow Dash looked at Braeburns dick swinging around like a windmill. "Why, any straight mare would be clamoring to have that penis inside them. Isn't that right, Darling?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Well, go on up there and show us how it's done, Darling!"

Rainbow Dash slinked out of the hot tub up onto the stage.

Braeburn's face lit up. "Wait really!?"

"Yeah. Because I'm straight," Rainbow Dash said.

"Well, go on Darling, you must be quite pent up by now!"

"Hoo wee! Alrighty!" Braeburn mounted Rainbow Dash who winced as he slid inside her.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Just pretend its a strap-on. Just pretend it's a strap-on...

Rarity tittered as she leaned closer to watch.

"Wow, Dashie, I gotta say, a lotta guys talk big about wanting to cum inside you, but I never reckoned I'd ever get to actually do it myself! I'll betcha the foal might even look like AJ!" After almost a minute, Rainbow Dash felt him start to flare inside her.

"Nope! Can't do it!" Rainbow Dash quickly darted out from under him, leaving his erection hanging in the breeze as he started to cum.

Rarity screeched as she got blasted with a face-full of baby batter. "Not in my mane!" she shrieked as he left several more off-white streaks in her fur. She frantically scampered out of the hot tub and ran across the spa to the shower room to clean up.

Applejack sighed. "Well, I reckon that should just about cover her surprise wedding stunt."

Applejack and Anon stepped down off the stage. Anon looked down at the tent in his shorts. "What the fuck? Why now?"

Applejack glanced at Anon's erection. "Oh, don't feel too bad about that. Everypony is gay for Braeburn."

"Really?"

All the other ponies in the tub nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's just like... a basic fact of the universe," Twilight said.

Applejack held Rainbow Dash's cheek with her hoof. "So, what did we learn?"

Rainbow Dash slumped her head and sighed. "That I am also gay when it comes to Braeburn. But other than him, I'm totally straight!"

Applejack just shook her head. "It's a good thing you're cute, sugar cube."

Rainbow Dash's mood brightened quickly. "So does this mean it's time for the main event?"

Applejack looked confused and worried. "The what? Was it not Rarity getting her mane spunked?"

Rainbow Dash snorted. "Ha! No. But that was pretty good. Come on!" She took Applejack by her hoof and pulled her to Anon's massage suite. "Tada!"

Applejack looked at the massage table, and then at Anon walking in after them. "It has been a long day. A back rub does sound good." Rainbow Dash giggled as Applejack climbed up onto the table.

"Okay," Anon said. "I can certainly do that." He grabbed the bottle of massage oil from the shelf behind him and poured some into his hands to warm it before rubbing her back and working it into her fur. The shower and shampoo earlier had done well to clean her fur of any dirt and grime. But a life of manual labor had made it more course than he was used to. "You might want to consider adding conditioner to your shower routine."

"Thank you!" Rainbow Dash said, unprompted.

Anon glanced at her. "I don't need commentary from the peanut gallery."

"It's just good to hear someone agree with me," Dash said. "I keep telling her." Applejack grumbled. "A.J. I'm just saying that when I'm in between your legs and you clamp them shut on my head, I worry that my cheeks are gonna get a rug burn."

"Do you want me to kick her out?" Anon asked.

Applejack shrugged. "It's just Dash being Dash."

"And you love it!" Dash said, flexing her wings.

Applejack snorted. "I wish I could quit you."

Anon added a bit of leave-in conditioner to his massage mixture, working it over the contours of her shoulders and back. For a mare known for her cooking second only to Pinkie Pie, there wasn't an ounce of fat on her. Every last part of her body was firm with toned muscle, as though she were carved from wood. Apple wood. It was in her name, and her cutie mark. He just assumed that it was his mind playing tricks on him. Even still, aware of it as he was, he couldn't help but recognize that unmistakable scent as he worked his way down her lower back.

Maybe he wasn't the only one. Rainbow Dash was licking her lips as she watched from the bench on the side of the room. "Make sure you get her cutie mark!" Anon glared at her, but she was blind to subtle social cues. And obvious ones.

"Your flanks would be next," Anon said.

"Mhmm," Applejack hummed in affirmation.

Anon moved his hands down from her lower back to her hips and thighs, keeping to the outside. Her brazen encounter with him in the shower room could have certainly served to forego any stilted awkwardness. But nevertheless, he was a professional that respected a client's boundaries. His massage moved from the sides to the backs of her thighs, just above her gaskin. Whether it was a pressure point, or a ticklish spot, her muscles tensed for just a moment, bulging definition through her fur. Her legs looked like they were sculpted from marble, like a Greek goddess. Only Celestia's legs were larger, proportionate to a mare of her height. But for a mare of her size, Applejack's legs looked like-

"They could crush a watermelon!" Rainbow Dash said with vicarious pride. "I've seen her do it, too! Sploosh! If I had to die, that's how I'd wanna go!"

"I didn't think Equestria had capital punishment," Anon said.

Applejack scoffed. "Not with all the royal pardons she's got."

"For what?"

"Assault."

"It was a dragon!"

"Resisting arrest."

"I was Discorded!"

"Animal abuse."

"It was a pet contest!"

"Reckless endangerment."

"I was acquitted! It's not my fault the Sonic Rainboom-"

"Breaking and entering. Theft."

"I was borrowing that book!"

"Endangering a minor."

"Well, with the statue of limitations... Wait, which time?"

"Operating a vehicle under the influence. Endangering a minor again,"

"Okay, carts shouldn't count for-"

"Food tampering."

"Okay, those charges got dropped anyway-"

"Endangering a minor again."

"Okay, so I guess it's a crime to let Scootaloo drink margaritas without a cutie mark!? You let Apple Bloom drink cider!"

"She had one. At home. With a meal. And the next morning she didn't wake up in a gall darn urinal!"

"Oh, I am just never gonna live that one down!"

Anon looked back and forth between them as he massaged Applejack's legs. "Wow. How are you two not already married?"

Applejack shrugged. "Just kept putting it off. At first it was because Granny wasn't keen on a lesbian wedding..."

"But I'm not a lesbian!" Rainbow Dash insisted, again.

"After she passed, Dash moved in. But with her being a Wonderbolts instructor, and all the work on the farm, we just never got around to it. And really, at this point, it'd just be a piece of paper."

"And an Awesome™ last name!" Rainbow said. "Apple Dash!"

Applejack looked at her. "Why don't you change your last name, Rainbow Jack?"

Rainbow Dash grimaced. "Maybe we can hyphenate it. Apple and Rainbow Jack-ash!"

Anon and Applejack both looked at her.

"The name suits one of you," Anon muttered.

"Sugarcube, say that again. Slowly."

"What?"

"We ain't donkeys!"

"Huh? Oh. OH! HA-haha!" Rainbow Dash fell off the bench laughing and clutching her sides.

"Good luck fixing her."

"Sugarcube, I could turn a pile of ash back into an unburnt barn. But there ain't no fixing that pegasus."

Rainbow Dash wheezed as she clamored back up onto the bench. "So hey, when are you gonna get to the..." She made an aggressive punching motion with her hoof.

"When, and if, she even wants to!" Anon said. He put a hand on Applejack's shoulder. "If that's something you'd be interested in."

Applejack shifted anxiously on the massage table. "Well, I wouldn't be the Element of Honesty if I claimed contrary-wise."

"And I wouldn't be the Element of Loyalty if I didn't stay by your side to watch every second of it!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure that's why." She looked back at Anon a bit nervously. "I'm sorry, again, about being so forward earlier in the showers. I know it makes me a might hypocritical, and it ain't that I don't wanna, but... could we... take it slow?"

Anon nodded. "Of course."

Applejack flagged her tail, draping it to the side of her legs before spreading them a bit. Exposed from under her tail, her freckled marehood glistened in the light, winking her clitoris intermittently into the cool air. It telegraphed her need more than her words ever could.

"Okay... I'm gonna start now..." Anon said. Applejack nodded and laid her head against the pillow, presumably in a bid to help her relax. Anon cupped his hand and hovered over her vulva, feeling the heat radiating off of it. He would be the last one to call himself any kind of expert on the matter of estrus. But if his experience in the correlation was anything to go by, she had to have been in agony. The fact that she was holding up as well as she had been, was a testament to her sheer fortitude.

Anon closed the distance and gently placed his palm against her vulva. Applejack tensed and took a sudden breath in through her nose, but otherwise held her composure. Anon felt her clit wink hard against his fingers. It was a wonder that she was able to keep herself together like this. The mare that pinned him against the shower wall started to make a lot more sense now.

Anon slid his hand down just a bit, slowly working his thumb between her puffy lips to just barely stroke her little love button. Anon could hear the vinyl table padding squeaking in the grip of her hooves. She started to breathe hard, but neither in frustration or approaching climax. He turned his hand over and gently slipped a couple fingers inside her vagina, simply holding them there as his thumb continued to work her clit.

Applejack's restrained need was utterly invisible beside Rainbow Dash's anxious rocking on the bench. "Come on, come on! Start already!"

"Is she always like this?" Anon asked, gently sliding his fingers in and out of Applejack's pussy.

"Only when she's awake." Applejack barely got the words out before she went back to biting her hoof.

Anon looked over at Rainbow Dash. "This is her session. If you're bored, you can go find something else to do," he suggested.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She turned around and started rummaging through one of his tool boxes.

Applejack snuggled her cheek against her hoof as Anon slowly fingered her. "This is nice." she said, barely above a whisper. "With her it's always rush, rush, rush. And I'm all for efficiency, but..." she trailed off as Anon added a third finger. "This ain't something to be rushed."

"Is that how it normally goes?" Anon asked, getting his fourth finger inside her while his thumb stayed on her clit.

"Mhmm." Applejack nodded. "Though I'd be on my back and she'd be on top, being the light pegasus, muffs to mouth. But I'd be so good at it that she couldn't concentrate on her end and, well, it'd mean only one of us getting off."

"Well, that's not fair," Anon said, adding his thumb to the rest of his fingers, applying a bit of pressure to work in the width of his hand. "She should at least return the favor after."

"Yeah, she does. Sometimes," Applejack said, pausing as she felt herself being stretched. "It ain't like she don't like doing it. Dash just doesn't have-" she grunted as the widest part of his hand finally popped inside, and her muscles closed tightly around his wrist. "She just doesn't have my earth pony stamina, you know?"

Anon felt her strong vaginal muscles gripping his hand inside her. "I do know." He waited for her to relax to accommodate his hand inside her before he could continue. "With all that, I guess I just don't understand why you'd want to stay in a relationship with her."

Applejack looked over at Rainbow Dash digging through the toy box, with only her ass end hanging out of the top, and her rainbow tail excitedly swishing back and forth in the air. Applejack stared at that ass and sighed, winking her clit against Anon's wrist. "We don't get to decide who we fall in love with."

Anon thought about the bug queen waiting for him back home. "Okay. That, I do understand." He flexed his fingers inside Applejack's vagina, feeling a familiar, spongey patch, though it wasn't where he was expecting to find it. He pressed his fingers against it more firmly, massaging them back and forth across it.

"Whoa nelly!" Applejack's entire body quivered and fresh wetness dripped out around his wrist.

Anon stopped. "I didn't mean to catch you off guard like that. I just- I thought it would be deeper."

Applejack covered her face with her hooves. "It's true. I have a shallow g-spot."

"Is that really something to be ashamed of?" Anon asked. "I would think that it's a good thing."

"But I like a big dick!" Applejack said. "I like feeling filled. But once they get on in there, all the good-feeling bits go right on past it! And there ain't no convincing them to go half-way!"

"But what about..." Anon pointed at Rainbow.

"Her least of all!"

Rainbow's pointy blue ears must have been burning. "Holy cow! You have one of these!?" The lithe pegasus scurried back out of the box holding a dildo in her hooves. But not just any dildo. She was practically shaking as she mounted it into the strap-on harness. "The deluxe edition Big Red with the realistic texture! I thought they stopped making these!"

Anon raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you didn't like strap-ons."

"Anon, this isn't a strap-on. This isn't some bland, plastic fake dick. This is a fucking work of art!" Rainbow Dash stepped into the harness and tightened the straps. She reared up in front of Applejack and waggled it. "Recognize it?"

Applejack winced. "You know I do. Get it out of my face!"

Rainbow stuck out her tongue, but backed off. "You're such a wuss. It's not like it's the real thing."

"Ain't about who it's modeled. It just ain't sanitary."

"I do wash everything thoroughly," Anon assured her. Rainbow Dash grinned. "Just the same, why don't you just back off until she's done?" Rainbow Dash huffed and sat on the bench again with the toy bobbing awkwardly in front of her. Anon went back to slowly flexing his fingers inside Applejack, making her moan and coo on the table. The damp patch between her legs grew a little bigger.

"Ugh! So boring!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "When are you gonna get to the good part?" She made another punching motion with her hoof. "I know she can take a pounding."

"Just because she can, doesn't mean she wants to," Anon said.

Her nostrils flared. "Wait! I smell apple juice!" She zipped across the room to where Anon was standing, looking at where he was up to his forearm inside Applejack, and the noticeable puddle. "How did you..? You're not even doing anything!"

"I am. You just can't see it," Anon explained. "She has a shallow g-spot, barely five inches inside. You just need to rub that spot, gently in her case, and..."

Applejack moaned as another splash of apple juice spurted out of her pussy.

Rainbow Dash looked at him in awe. "Are you a witch?"

"No, I just know what I'm doing."

"More! Bring her here!" Rainbow demanded, pulling Applejack's legs to hang off the table to bring her butt to the edge. Rainbow ducked beneath the table and reappeared under her butt. "Come on, keep going!"

"Are you still comfortable?" he asked Applejack.

"Just don't stop," Applejack panted.

Anon did as she asked, keeping his fingers massaging her g-spot. He could feel her muscles tensing and relaxing in a rhythm with the waves of her climaxes of pleasure. None of them were the screaming, earth-shattering orgasms that he had come to expect of his clients, like a prospector striking an oil gusher. Rather, it was like the slow pumping of an established well. With each flex of his wrist, she'd squirt a little more, dripping into Rainbow Dash's waiting mouth.

Applejack tried to say something, but her words just melted together into a long string of gutteral vowels. "Un-ee-a-bee-ill." She tried harder to focus through her haze of lust and pleasure. "Need t'be... filled."

Looking underneath the table, Anon could see Dash grinning. This session wasn't meant for her entertainment, but it was what Applejack was asking for. His forearm was plenty lubricated by now so he pressed forward, sinking his fist deeper inside the mare, making her moan as he went. Dash was in rapt awe as she watched inch after inch of his arm slide inside Applejack.

By the time he bottomed out, she was watching so closely that she practically had her nose up against his elbow. Anon was surprised that even with his bicep up against the dock of Applejack's tail, he hadn't bumped into her cervix like other mares her size. He undid his fist inside her and extended his fingers. The tip of his middle finger just barely grazed the smooth contour of her deepest barrier.

Applejack tittered. "That tickles!"

Anon smiled. It was ironic that the mare that had asked for a gentle session was probably more suited for a hard pounding than any other in Equestria. He balled his fist again and started to slowly pull his arm back out. He could feel her powerful muscles pulsing and rippling around his arm as he moved. Her hooves grabbed the table again anxiously and her moans sounded more like nervous whimpers. He pushed his arm back inside her as deep as he comfortably could and she seemed to relax a bit more.

He started pulling back out again, daring to withdraw a bit further. He felt her tense up slightly, and her hind legs twitched as they hung off the edge of the table. He repeated it a few more times, trying to pull out a bit further each time. Pulling out a little further, he bulbous shape of his wrist hit her shallow g-spot.

Applejack's pussy gripped his arm and her thighs clamped together on Dash's head as she squirted not just once, but several times with much greater volume than before. Dash's sputtering desperation to breathe was drowned out by Applejack's throaty moan, as her whole body trembled and shook in her orgasm. The intensity of the moment passed and her whole body relaxed. Her thighs released Dash's head.

Dash fell to the floor, coughing to catch her breath. But just as soon as she did, she scrambled to get to her hooves and pushed Anon out of the way.

The floor was too slick with apple juice and he lost his footing. "Hey, easy!" Anon said, nearly breaking his wrist, still in Applejack's vaginal grip. He stood up and braced himself against the table to pull his arm out. Applejack's pussy bulged and stretched around the widest part of his hand before she finally let him go.

"Tag me in!" Rainbow Dash practically checked him out of the way to mount Applejack with the strap-on. Applejack didn't even have time to react before she pushed the dildo inside her, making her moan again. It only took a few thrusts to get the full length of it sunk into her thoroughly-wet pussy. Dash role-played a stallion well, wasting no time before she started happily plapping away into the mare under her.

Applejack was still reeling from her previous orgasm. Every wire in her brain was cross-firing. She couldn't coordinate her muscles or her words if she tried. Despite the impressive length of the toy, Dash was barely even pulling the bottom eight inches out before hilting it back inside. Each time she pulled out it was making Applejack spurt marecum again and again like a well pump.

But it made Anon realize something that he hadn't noticed before about the toy. The medial ring on the it was anything but medial. It was actually much closer to the base than average. Which meant that it was in just the right position to be hitting Applejack's shallow g-spot.

"Wow," Anon mused. "It's like that dick was perfectly designed to fit your body."

Rainbow Dash grinned and nibbled on AJ's ear. "Eeyup!"

Applejack grimaced. "Dash-!"

Dash looked at Anon, "Anon, you have to let me have this! You know, as a wedding gift!"

Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know, Dash. I don't remember that being cheap. Besides, I didn't think you were actually going to get married tomorrow."

"Fine, I can pay you back for it!" Dash bargained. "You know I'm good for it! I've got that sweet Wonderbolts money!"

Anon threw his hands up. "Okay, fine. I guess I could always make another trip to The Crop if I need a replacement."

"Sweet!" Dash said. "You hear that? We get to keep this! We are gonna be doing this every night!" Applejack made a sort of groan in objection. "Applejack, you're the Element of Honesty! You can't tell me you don't love how good this feels!"

Applejack covered her face with her hooves, but she didn't disagree.

"At least she finally figured out how to get you off," Anon said, grabbing a plastic gift bag for the toy. "But it's getting late. You don't have to go home, but you can't keep fucking each other here."

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings to lift herself off Applejack and pushed herself back with her hooves to pull the toy out of her. The rest of her trapped marecum gushed out with a final splash onto the tile floor. Rainbow Dash fiddled with the straps on the harness to undo them while Anon helped Applejack carefully step down from the massage table onto shaky hooves.

"Land's sake! What a mess!" she said, looking at the puddle on the floor.

"Let me worry about that," Anon assured her. "You just make sure you get something to drink. You're probably dehydrated after all that."

"I'm a might grateful for that massage, Anon. You really are everything they say."

Rainbow Dash trotted over with the gift bag. She reached inside and lifted the toy out to show it off to Applejack again. "We get to keep it!"

Applejack grimaced.

"Why the sour face, sourpuss?" Anon asked. "You looked like you really enjoyed it."

Applejack blushed. "I did... But I just hate how much I did." She turned to leave.

"Is she gonna be okay?" Anon asked.

Rainbow rolled her eyes and put the toy back in the bag. "She's just working through some personal baggage that she needs to get over. She'll be fine." She turned to leave as well, but Anon put his hand on her shoulder.

"Dash, I know she's a tough pony who's used to hard work, but..." Anon tried to find the right words. "You care about her, right?"

"Yeah, of course! She's my hetero life mate! That's why we have this, for totally straight sex!" She lifted the bag.

"For when you don't have your face buried in her muff," he said. She cringed. "What?"

"I just call it her juice box."

Anon laughed despite himself. "Okay, that's too fucking good."

Dash grinned. "Shut up monkey, I know it!"

"But anyways, what I was trying to say is, I know she's a tough, hard worker. And she obviously loves you, for some stupid reason."

"Because I'm Awesome™!"

"Sure. Let's roll with that. But what I'm trying to say is... I think you could help make it so that loving you isn't such hard work for her." Dash huffed at him. "I'm serious. You don't have to stop being you, but maybe just reel it in a little. For her."

It gave her genuine pause. "Okay, fine. I can try being twenty percent less cooler." Rainbow Dash turned and left the room.

Anon sprayed down the suite with the hose, sanitized the table, and mopped the floor clean. He toweled himself dry and grabbed his clothes. He walked out into the lobby. The rest of the party had cleared out. The decorations had been packed up by the only pony left, Pinkie Pie and a yellow stallion that was not Braeburn. His brown mane was just as curly and voluminous as Pinkie's. It bounced each time he smacked her flank with a spatula.

"Oh, hi Anon!" the stallion greeted between spanks. Pinkie Pie turned and looked as well.

"Oh, Anon! Have you met Cheese Sandwich?"

"I can't say I have," Anon said.

"He was at your studding class!" Pinkie said.

"I don't expect you to remember," Cheese said. "It was a full house."

"Yeah..." Anon stood there in mild confusion, despite everything he had seen just that day. "Where did you get a spatula?"

Cheese smiled. "There's just one place to go for all of your spatula needs."

"Spatula City!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"What?"

"A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion!" Cheese said. "Thousands to choose from in every shape, size, and color. And because we eliminate the middle man, we can sell all our spatulas factory direct to you. Where do you go if you want to buy name brand spatulas at a fraction of retail cost?"

"Spatula City!" Pinkie cheered again.

"And this weekend only, take advantage of our special liquidation sale. Buy nine spatulas, get the tenth one for just one penny. Don't forget, they make great Hearth's Warming presents."

"And what better way to say 'I love you,' than with the gift of a spatula?" Pinkie asked.

"Is that where you work?" Anon asked.

"I'm the president of Spatula City," Cheese said. "I liked their spatulas so much, I bought the company! Seven locations. We sell spatulas! And that's all!"

Anon opened the door to his home and shuffled inside after a long, exhausting day.

"You were out late!" Chrysalis said, trotting into the kitchen. "I was about to start worrying about you."

"You don't need to worry about me," he said.

"You've almost died three times in as many weeks. My concern is not unfounded."

"Fair." Anon grabbed a cider from the fridge. "Did the new tub finish getting installed?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you get a bath going and we can just relax in there for a bit?"

Chrysalis smiled. "I'd like that."

~

Anon disrobed and stepped into the warm bath to join Chrysalis waiting for him amid the cloud of bubbles.

"Thank you. This is nice." He relaxed against the side of the basin and sipped his drink. "I love you."

Chrysalis licked her lips. "I know."

"I never realized how right you were the other day. When you said that we were like weird puzzle pieces that fit together. I think that's what love really is. Everyone is weird. And love is finding someone whose weird matches your weird."

Chrysalis nuzzled against his shoulder. "Did you have a weird day?"

He sipped his drink. "They're all weird."

"So what kept you so late today?" she asked.

"I had to do a bachelorette party."

~

They both screamed as Pinkie Pie burst out of the bath water. "Did somepony say PARTY!?"

Author's Note

3380003

24. Ember

While walking back to Ponyville from the rock farm, Anon looked at the rock pouch he was carrying. It seemed needlessly ornate for something as simple as some polished massage stones.

"But then when was anything around here ever simple?" Anon mused. Walking into town he passed the clock tower. The Ponyville spa would still be open for another hour and a half. As it came into view, he rehearsed his refusals. "No Aloe. No Lotus. I will not do that. I am tired and I'm going home." He could hear his bed calling his name as he yawned. He would have to take a rain check on that special mouth massage for his penis that Lotus had promised. "God, she's cute when she wants something."

Anon opened the door to the spa. "Lotus? I have your rocks." He held up the pouch.

Lotus trotted out from behind the front desk to take the pouch from him. "Anonymoose! Superb timing as always!"

"Seriously!?" Anon asked. "You routinely complain about me being late to work!" Lotus just smiled and waved her hoof before trotting to the back of the spa. Anon tried to call after her, "You might want to wash-"

Lotus presented the pouch to Aloe, who had just stepped into the lobby. She opened it with glee. "So fresh! Still warm and fragrant!" she said, practically putting her entire snout into the bag.

"They... are certainly that," Anon said.

Aloe carried them back into her massage suite. "Ms. Quartz! Your massage stones just arrived!" The door closed behind her and Anon looked at Lotus.

"Thank you, Anon," Lotus said. "You have our gratitude. And... I suppose you have also earned a special treat." She looked up at him with her bright blue eyes as she brushed her hoof against the crotch of his pants.

He ran his fingers through her mane. "And I'm looking forward to it," he said. "But it has been a very long, weird day, and right now I need to go home and lay down before I fall down."

Lotus smiled and nodded. She didn't need to remind him of how important it was for him to get his rest and keep his strength up. "Until tomorrow, then."

"Goodnight, Lotus."

"Welcome home," Chrysalis greeted.

"No place like it," Anon said as cheerfully as he could while he shuffled over to the armchair in the living room. Barely a moment after he sat down, he heard the familiar hiss of a bottle being opened. Chrysalis placed the bottle of cider into his hand. "Oh, you're an angel."

"I don't know about all that," Chrysalis snorted as Anon took a sip. She stood there and waited impatiently. "So are you just going to sit there and stare at the wall all evening while you drink?"

He looked over at her with concern. "Are you okay?"

She bit back her indignant anger at his obliviousness. "I was lonely," she admitted.

Anon shifted in his chair and patted his thigh. She sat down on the floor in front of him and rested her head in his lap. He put his hand on her head and slowly ran his fingers through her mane. "Sorry. I know you told me that changelings are social creatures, and you've been away from your hive for a long time."

She bristled. "It's not my hive anymore."

Anon shrugged. "I didn't own the house that I grew up in, but it was still my home."

"Hmph."

Anon drank the rest of his cider and scritched her ears in just the way that he knew she liked. The tension in her neck and shoulders melted away as she relaxed and slumped into his legs, basking in his affection. His hand gradually slowed down. She was content to just feel the weight of it on her head. It felt strangely comforting. It made her feel safe.

"Anon," she started to say. " I... I'm still not used to this. I'm not used to not being a queen. Not being in charge. Everyone keeps telling me that the hive is doing well. It might not be my hive anymore, but I still worry about them like a mother. You know, it was never easy... being a cast-iron bitch all the time. It takes discipline, and years of training... A lot of people don't appreciate that. And now that I don't have to be so strong..." She blinked back her tears. "After going my whole life feeling like I can't depend on anyone but myself, it just feels like such a terrifying admission of weakness to tell you how much I've come to rely on you... and your love."

"..."

She winced, immediately regretting everything that she had said to him in her moment of foolishness. "Fuck... I can feel you judging me!"

Anon snored. His hand slid off of her head as Chrysalis looked up at him, passed out long ago. She sighed in relief and stood up to carry him to bed with her magic. She pulled the covers over him and kissed his cheek.

"You really are my perfect idiot."

It was just after dawn the next morning. Chrysalis sighed in relief as she finished her Mise en place preparations for breakfast, setting the bowl of fresh eggs on the counter. There was a knock at the door. Anon was still deep in sleep, and Chrysalis was intent to let him get as much as he clearly needed, as much as he could. She approached the door, expecting the usual reaction from anypony that saw her. The dirty looks couldn't hurt her anymore. Someone loved her. She opened the door and looked at the pony standing outside with mild annoyance. She mustered all of her effort to be congenial. "The fuck you want?"

"Charming as always, Chrysalis," Celestia said with haughty poise. "I suppose we don't need the ward on the house anymore. You're looking like you couldn't even fit through the doorway."

Chrysalis just smiled. "I'm well-fed." Celestia sneered at her. "Ooh, I can feel how much that just burns you up inside. Knowing how much he loves me."

"I need to speak with him."

"How does it feel to need?"

"Do not mistake my kindness for weakness, bug! There's nothing stopping me from squashing you right where you stand."

"How courageous of you to threaten a prisoner in binds. Lift these wards and make it a fair fight. I wouldn't mind kicking your shit in a second time."

"Chryssi? Someone at the door?" Anon asked from the bedroom.

"Just one of your clients," Chrysalis said.

"Oh? Which one?" he asked.

Chrysalis smirked at Celestia. "Oh Anon, I know you've had so very many, they must be so forgettable." Celestia's nostrils flared. If looks could kill, Chrysalis would be a corpse.

"Don't be like that," Anon said as he walked into the kitchen.

They both instantly turned and looked at Anon with smiles. "Good morning sweetie!"

"Good morning Anon," Celestia greeted. "I hope you're feeling well. Not feeling too drained, I hope," she said, catching side-eye from Chrysalis.

Even though he was barely awake Anon could feel the tension thick enough to sink in a pool of mercury as he looked back and forth between them. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Chrysalis said with an unwavering smile. "I was just chatting with our ~friend~, Celestia."

"Actually, Anon, there is something I need to talk to you about," Celestia said.

Anon rolled his eyes. "Not this again. Look I know you don't like Chryssi..."

"I've made my peace with this," Celestia said. Chrysalis snorted. Celestia glared at her. "I'm sorry, do you need a tissue!?"

Chrysalis chuckled. "I think I might!"

"As I was saying," Celestia continued, "there is something that I need your help with."

"What a utilitarian relationship you two have," Chrysalis snarked. "She comes around when she needs you to do something for her, and you do as she commands you like a good little slave."

Anon moved in between them before something explodes. "Chryssi, can you make breakfast or something while I talk to Tia about what she wants to ask me?"

"As you wish," Chrysalis mewled, "my love."

Anon stepped outside and closed the door behind him. "Okay Tia..." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Let's pretend that I'm an autonomous adult, and this isn't some kind of jealous wellness check."

"No, I actually do need... to ask for your help with something," Celestia said.

"Sure. Fire away."

"Lord Ember is coming to Ponyville."

"Oh, yeah, wasn't he that centaur from the statue?"

"No, that's Lord Tirek."

"Ah. So who's this Ember guy?"

"She, is the Lord of the Dragons."

"Well, that's real neato, Tia," Anon said. "But with me not being a dragon, it sounds like it has fuck all to do with me."

"Normally, yes. Except that I have recommended your services to her."

Anon's attention was drawn to Princess Twilight Sparkle and Smolder approaching them. "Oh, what now!? Can't we go one day around here without the world being in peril?"

"I take it you already told him?" Twilight asked.

"I'm in the process of it," Celestia said.

"But what do you need me for?" Anon asked. "I remember Smolder telling me that dragons don't go into heat. Right?"

"No. They do not." Smolder said.

"Okay, so, same question. What the fuck does this have to do with me?" Anon asked.

"It's complicated," Celestia said.

Anon rolled his eyes. "When is it ever not?"

"Lord Ember is suffering from a case of egg binding," Smolder explained. "It's a very serious medical condition. It could be fatal if left untreated."

"Okay, but that sounds like something for a doctor," Anon said. "And I'm not a doctor."

"Draconia isn't exactly known for it's... compassionate healthcare," Smolder said. "By dragon law, if she's too 'weak' to lay, and dies as a result, then she was never meant to bear weak offspring, or rule for that matter."

"And Equestrian doctors are experts in equine anatomy," Twilight said. Anon opened his mouth. "And before you suggest it, no, we can't take her to a veterinarian. Firstly, it would be insulting to Lord Ember. But more importantly, they don't know how to treat dragons either."

"As if I do!?" Anon asked.

"You have a very particular set of skills that make you the choice for this task," Celestia said.

"I'm not a choice! I'm a lack of options," Anon said.

Celestia shrugged. "Can't they both be true?"

"So what am I supposed to do?" Anon asked. "You just want me to reach up her scaly vagina and pull the egg out?"

"I can tell from your tone that you're expecting me to refute that," Celestia said. "But that is more or less the plan."

"Just be aware, Anon," Twilight said, "It's not a vagina. She has a weird lizzer hole."

Smolder rolled her eyes. "It's called a cloaca, Twilight. Don't be racist!"

"Do I have a choice in the matter?" Anon asked.

Twilight looked over her shoulder. "Not especially, since they're almost here."

"Here!?" Anon followed her eyes to Spike, walking towards them, and the turquoise dragon waddling beside him.

"Discretion is part of the plan," Celestia said. "Ember's presence at the spa would draw unwanted attention. So yes, here."

"Lord Ember," Twilight greeted.

"I'm fucking done walking!" Ember said, eschewing all formalities. "This better be the place Spike, or else you're carrying me!"

Spike looked at the gathered group outside of Anon's house. "It is."

"Thank fuck!" Ember pushed her way past everyone and walked inside.

"I don't need to be here for this," Smolder said before flying away.

"Yeah. Good luck, have fun Anon," Spike said before doing the same.

Inside Anon's house Chrysalis looked up from the skillet at the dragon. "Um... hi?"

"Chrysalis? You're going by Anon now?" Ember asked in confusion.

Anon darted inside the kitchen and moved between them. "I'm Anon, actually. This is my home. Welcome, I guess, Lord Ember."

"Uh huh," Ember grumbled, shuffling over to the refrigerator and looking inside.

"Yeah. Sure. Make yourself at home," Anon said as Ember grabbed a bottle of cider. "So if you're a dragoness, why is your title Lord Ember instead of Lady?" Ember chomped the top of the bottle off and chewed up the glass along with the metal cap before chugging the whole thing and eating the rest of the bottle. "Okay. Point taken."

Ember glanced at Chrysalis and then at the eggs in the skillet with silent disgust. She looked back at Anon. "So where are we doing this?"

"Wherever you're comfortable, I suppose," Anon said. Ember tried the kitchen chair, and then the armchair in the living room, struggling to find a comfortable position before she waddled into Anon's bedroom, rolling onto the bed. "Figures," Anon muttered, walking in after her. "This has all been very short notice for me," he explained to her. "So anything you can tell me about your... condition would be helpful."

"Egg won't come out," Ember wheezed on the bed.

"By anything, I meant everything," he said. Ember sighed in annoyance. "I get how inconvenient this is for everyone, but I heard this can be fatal. So maybe now isn't the time to be coy."

"It can be, if not treated," Ember said.

"Well, before we get to... that... what would be the usual treatment?"

"Oh, a swift kick to the stomach usually does the trick," Ember said.

"Which we are not doing!" Celestia said from the bedroom doorway.

"Excuse me," Anon said. "I'm just exploring my options here."

"And I have a vested interest in that egg!" Celestia said.

"Dare I ask?"

"It's to go to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns," Twilight explained, crowding outside the bedroom doorway. "It's part of the entrance exam for new students, to see if they can hatch a dragon egg with magic. But the only pony magic that can hatch a dragon egg is alicorn magic. So normally the test serves to gauge how prospective students handle failure."

"Or reveal a unicorn capable of ascendance," Celestia added, sharing a knowing smile with Twilight.

"Any dragon egg?" Anon asked the obvious. "Like can't we just..." He made a kicking motion. "And just hope the next one goes smoother?"

"Eh... yes, but..." Celestia trailed off.

"If I wanted that, my..." Ember cleared her throat. "My egg's father would have done it already. That's why I'm here." She put her hand over her gravid belly. "For the sake of my son."

"You already know it's male?" Anon asked.

Ember nodded. "Isn't it obvious? I reek of the pheromones."

Anon smelled the air, sensing nothing. "Not really. Also that doesn't really explain anything."

"Because of the prophecy," Ember said.

"..."

"..."

"Ah, yes. The prophecy," Anon said. "The prophecy that I am only just now hearing about. What prophecy?"

Ember took a deep breath. "The prophecy that one day his son would usurp and kill him. So if he ever smelled it on one of his mates, well..." She trailed off and looked out at the skillet in the kitchen. "You get the idea."

"Which is why Equestria has quietly offered sanctuary to any dragoness to safely lay," Celestia explained.

"But why the secrecy?" Anon asked.

"If he knew I was here for this, he would probably kill all of you, and me," Ember said.

"But you're the Dragon Lord," Anon said. "Can't you just tell him to... I dunno, fuck off?"

Ember almost chuckled. "I may be the Dragon Lord, but he's still the alpha male. And it's generally ill-advised to tell a dragon to fuck off. Especially when they're the size of a castle."

The words slowly registered in Anon's brain. "Okay, so if he's..." He spread his arms all the way. "And you're..." He motioned to her. "How... does that work?" He pointed at her belly.

"There's a small crater that he will... you know." Ember make a jerking motion with her fist. "Then after he fills it, we... his other mates and I, go for a swim in his swimmers."

"Ew."

"It usually doesn't work," Ember said before looking at her belly. "But they obviously sometimes find their way."

"Obviously."

"Which brings us to now," Celestia said.

"Obviously."

"Do you understand why secrecy was necessary?" Twilight asked.

"Obviously."

"So..."

"So..."

Anon turned to face the ponies. "So it's time for you two to leave," he said.

"But the egg-"

"The egg's not going anywhere!" Anon said. "That's the problem. Hell, you're making me nervous! I have a hard enough time pissing in a cup at the doctor's office, and she has a whole entire egg to push out. To say nothing of the looming threat of death over this whole clandestine visit! My weird lizzer hole would be locked up tighter than a drum too, even without the two of you breathing down my neck! So go wait in the kitchen quietly if you and Chryssi can keep yourselves from killing each other. Otherwise go wait outside, and I'll let you know when we're done!" He shoved them out and closed the bedroom door.

"Wow," Ember cooed from the bed. "It's a rare day to see anyone tell Celestia off."

"Yeah, well..." Anon and Ember just stared at each other for a minute. "I suppose we should, uh, get a look at the problem area."

Ember shifted from laying on her side to rolling onto her back, letting her legs flop apart. Anon's eyes followed the pattern of her smooth belly scales down to her... markedly-absent tail hole.

"So where's your, um... hole?" he asked.

Ember groaned in frustration. "It's right here," She tried to reach down under her belly but couldn't quite make it. "It's... there."

Anon extended a finger. "May I?"

"That's why I'm here!"

"I was being polite." He placed his finger on the smooth scales of her lower belly. "Whoa."

"What?"

"You're warm. I was expecting you to be cold-blooded."

Ember snorted a small puff of smoke. "That's a dragon for you. Belly full of fire."

"Am I warm?"

"Yeah, you feel warm too."

"No, I mean, am I close to the right spot?" he asked, rubbing his finger against her scales.

"Lower. Between my legs," she directed.

"Makes sense." He moved down along her belly scale segments to her crotch. "Here?"

"One more, I think." He moved to the next seam at the base of her tail. "Yeah. There."

Anon looked at where is finger was. It looked almost indistinguishable from the other scale segments. "So... how do I..?"

"Lift the scale."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"That sounds painful."

"First of all, I'm a dragon. I swim in lava and eat gems. We spar for fun. So don't treat me like one of your fragile pony clients!" She practically spat the word. "And secondly, yeah, if it was any other scale, it wouldn't feel good. But that one is meant to be opened."

Anon pressed his finger against the segment against the grain, finding it to be comparatively pliable. Beneath her turquoise scales, the pink interior of her tail hole looked a little more familiar to him. "Just to be clear, which hole is this?"

"What do you mean which hole? It's the only hole."

"For everything?" Anon asked. Ember nodded. "Well, that's certainly... efficient?"

Ember grinned. "Just one of the many reasons why dragons are the superior species."

"Sure. Why not," Anon agreed to forgo an argument.

"So what's the play here?" she asked. "Are you going to just reach in there and... get it?"

Anon scratched the back of his neck. "I mean... yeah, I could try that."

"Well, hurry up! I haven't got all morning!"

"Alright. Sheesh!" Anon pressed his finger under her scale to lift is again, and then he pushed in a couple other fingers. He was surprised that she was warm at all, but inside she was really warm. She was warmer inside than even Celestia was. He went slowly to give her time to stretch around the width of his four fingers before adding his thumb. Just as he was getting the widest part of his hand inside, she flinched and clenched her muscles. For someone who looked as lithe as her, she was incredibly strong as her pelvic muscles nearly crushed his hand. But what was worse was just how much hotter her interior was. It was like reaching into an oven to pull out a tray of muffins without a mitt. "Ow. OW! HOT!" Anon carefully, but quickly pulled his hand out, waving it frantically to cool it.

"Pathetic," Ember grumbled, crossing her arms in disappointed impatience.

"Hey, you're the one who can't even lay her own egg!"

"That's not a fair comparison! I'm under a lot of stress here!" she said. "You think it's easy being the dragon lord? Half of these knuckleheads don't know their ass from their elbow! And I'm one of the few things holding up this fragile alliance with Equestria. My 'ponies are friends, not food' campaign is still struggling." Ember clenched her fists and growled before she winced and clutched her belly. "And now my stubborn son doesn't even want me to get him laid!"

"What!? Oh, you mean the egg," he said. She snorted another puff of smoke. "Look, I think you just need to calm down."

"YOU need to calm down!" She yelled.

"I don't know what I expected." Never in the history of 'calm down' has telling someone that they need to 'calm down' worked. He started over, "Okay, look, I get that you are understandably stressed. And that makes it difficult for you to feel calm. But you need to try to relax."

"You try to relax! Have you ever tried to relax!?" she snarled at him. "It's a paradox!"

"Alright, here, move over for a minute," Anon instructed. He gathered up his pillows into a pile. "Kneel here and lean on these." She kneeled on the bed, crossed her arms, and leaned her chest on top of the pillows, giving enough room for her belly to comfortably be underneath her. He placed the palms of his hands at the base of her wings.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm not exactly sure, myself," Anon admitted, running his hands along the leading edge of her wings. "Looking for erogenous zones."

Ember rolled her eyes. "Dragons don't have erogenous zones."

"Okay." It wasn't that Anon thought she was lying. But it didn't mean she was correct, either. There was no knowing unless he tried. After exploring every part of her wings, he got no reaction, and ruled them out. It made sense. Even if dragons shed their skin like a regular reptile, their leathery wings didn't need to get preened like the feathers of a pegasus.

"What about this?" he asked, massaging his way down her back to the base of her tail, rubbing downward along the length of it, to the finned tip. Nothing. She shifted forward again. "What about these?" he asked, caressing the blue spines on her head.

"You're wasting your time," she grumbled. Anon moved to her horns. "I told you, dragons don't have erogenous zo-oh-ooh-OH!" Ember moaned and her entire body shuddered as Anon moved his fingers along the ridges of her horns.

"You were saying?"

"Tha-that's different!" Ember stammered. "Touching my horns li-like that just makes me feel a weird s-sexual pleasure!"

Anon just smiled as he stroked her horns. "Yeah sweetie, that's what an erogenous zone is."

Ember pressed her mouth into the crook of her elbow to stifle her moan. Anon moved one of his arms to wrap around her body, with his hand underneath her, cradling her belly.

"Is this one of those... hugs that ponies are famous for?" Ember asked between panting.

"Not exactly." He shifted his hand lower between her legs to find her tailhole again. Her depths might have been a furnace. But the first few inches were tolerable as he slid his fingers in and out of her. She seemed to find it agreeable as well, shifting and rolling her hips against his touch. "I've got to say, Ember... Just sitting in a pool of dragon cum... It seems like you're missing out on a key part of the whole process." He thrusted his fingers faster as he kept rubbing her horn with his other hand. "Some would say, arguably, the best part."

"Sh-shut up!" she moaned against the pillows. "I don't even want t-to think about..!" She closed her eyes.

"Then don't," Anon said, happy to let her just switch off. Soon all of her worrisome thoughts and anxieties began to melt away. Consequences be damned for what she was feeling or who was even doing it for her. Soon, all that mattered anymore was the feeling itself. The intense definition of the muscles in her shoulders dulled as she finally began to relax.

She shifted backwards against his embrace, pivoting her center of mass off of her knees and onto her feet, squatting on the bed against his fingers inside her. "Ah-non..." she breathed, leaning her head back against his shoulder. With one of his hands still stroking her horn, he licked the other, running his tongue along the ridges. "Ah~," she moaned and tensed. Anon braced himself for whatever a dragon climax would look like. He hazarded to push his fingers just a little deeper. But instead of a burning heat, he hit a literal wall. "Anon!" she yelped. "It- it's coming!"

"It's okay." Anon kept rubbing and licking her horn. "You're okay." The hard shell of the coming egg pushed back against his fingers. He gave it space as it stretched the way, making her moan in agony along with the ecstasy. His fingers traced the edge of her tailhole as it stretched wider. "I've got you."

Ember moaned and grunted and groaned as she panted and pushed. The not small egg quickly filled Anon's hand and he moved out of the way to focus on pleasing her where he could. Her yells turned into a full-bellied roar with one final push. As soon as he felt the weight of it land on the bed, her body went limp and she flopped forward, panting into the pile of pillows. The unflattering position let Anon see just how much her cloaca had been gaped and stretched. Even so, it was hard for him to believe she was able to push out an egg the size of a large cantaloupe. He let her rest while he carefully dried and wrapped it with a spare towel.

He walked around the bed to present it to her. She looked at it with half-lidded eyes, and then at him. "What?" she asked.

Anon shrugged. "I dunno. I just thought that you might want to... you know, say something before I give it to Tia."

Ember shook her head. "Save that sentimental crap for your ponies."

Anon frowned. "I still think you should say something. I'm worried that you'll regret not taking the opportunity later."

Ember looked at the egg. "Good luck, shithead. It's a cruel world." Ember flopped her head back into the pillows.

"Okay then." Anon wrapped the egg up in the towel again.

Ember's voice was muffled in the pillows, "Grab me another bottle while you're out there."

Princess Twilight Sparkle just shook her head at Celestia and Chrysalis. "I still say this is incredibly immature and petty of both of you."

"That is for Anon to decide."
"And we will see who is right."

Anon opened the bedroom door. He looked at Twilight, Celestia, and... Celestia?

Twilight sighed. "Anon, can you tell which one is the real Celestia?"

Anon put the bundle of 'joy' into Twilight's hooves and looked at the other two. "I'm with a client right now. I'm not playing this fucking game." He grabbed a couple ciders from the fridge, turned around, and went back into the bedroom, closing the door again.

Twilight smiled and nodded. She hadn't expected that reaction, but she was nonetheless impressed. "Well, I suppose I better get this back to the school. Those protégés aren't going to just reveal themselves."

Anon sat on the edge of his bed. Ember slowly roused and sat up next to him. He looked over at her, still in mild disbelief that she just pushed out that egg.

"You good?" he asked. Her hand waved for him to give her the drink. With some hesitation, he gave it to her. Just as before, she bit off the top of the glass bottle, swallowed the entire contents in one gulp, and then ate the rest of the bottle.

"Better," she said as she looked over at him. "So I heard this is like, your job?"

"Well, not this. Not that. What we just did," Anon stammered.

Ember nodded. "No, I get that. But you're like the alpha male over here."

"I... don't think that's quite accurate, either," he said.

"Whatever, let's do this!" Ember got onto her feet with her fists clenched and squared up with him.

Anon put his hands out defensively, "The fuck!? What are you doing!?"

"Foreplay! Let's fucking go!"

"What!? Fighting!?"

"Yeah! I'm a dragon! You gotta assert your dominance and knock me around a little," Ember explained.

"I'm not going to punch a lady!" Anon said.

"Straight to name-calling huh?" Ember burped and spat out a bottle cap at him.

"Violence isn't sexy!"

"Maybe not for you, pussy!" Ember jabbed him in the ribs.

"Ow! Knock it off!"

"Come on! Stop being a little bitch!" She swung at him again and Anon caught her fist with his hand. Her other fist came just as fast and he caught it with his other hand.

He knew what was coming next and turned his hips to avoid her kick. For someone that just pushed out a giant egg, she was unusually spry. He shoved her away. "Go fuck yourself!"

"Fuck me yourself, coward!" She crouched and leaped across the room. Anon reflexively put his hands up to shield himself, managing to accidentally punch her in the throat as she landed on top of him. She was surprised, to say the least, expressing her shock with a combination of a cough and a wheeze as she grasped her neck.

"Holy shit, are you okay!?" he asked. "I didn't mean to-"

"No it was perfect!" she said, headbutting him. Anon fell flat on the rug as her claws ripped his shorts off. She straddled his hips, rubbing herself against his crotch. Her wetness was almost unbearably hot as he could feel himself getting hard.

Anon looked down at himself in surprise. "The fuck!?"

Ember grinned. "Dragon pussy! What do you think they make Neighagra from!?"

He brought his leg back and planted his foot against her chest, kicking her across the room. He barely got back on his feet before she put her head down and charged him with a tackle against the wall. He planted his feet and shoved her backwards again. She squirmed and shifted, opening her mouth for a bite. He narrowly dodged her maw, and she got a mouthful of wooden bed post. She spun around like a rabid animal with her claws at the ready. Anon grabbed nightstand lamp and smashed it into her face. Ember fell to her knees and clutched her jaw.

Anon panted from the adrenaline rushing through him. "Are we ready to play nice!?"

Ember just grinned. "I am so fucking wet!" She spun and whipped her tail, sweeping his legs out and pinning him down again. "Now... how about we start with some oral sex? I'm really good with my tongue!" She showed off by wrapping her long tongue completely around the outside of her snout. She had almost sold him on the idea until she grinned, and opened her mouth, showing off her rows of razor-sharp fangs.

"I think I'd rather fuck a blender!" Anon said. "I'll tell you what, spot me for a six-pack of cider, and we can call it even."

Ember leaned back and reached between her legs. Her cloaca had returned to its normal appearance, and her belly was small enough now for her to reach herself, parting her scales slightly. As attractive as the offer was, Anon remembered how hot it was inside her.

"Wow, I really shouldn't stick my penis in there. However..." Anon couldn't even finish his thought before Ember impaled herself on his dick. As he feared, she was quite hot inside. Not enough to scald him, but it was definitely going to be red later. She started riding him aggressively. "Hey!"

"If you're not gonna fuck me, I'll do it myself!" she growled. He grabbed her shoulders to push her off and she grabbed his to hold on. She was restraining her claws, but it would take very little for her to do some serious damage if she wanted to. For whatever strange reason, it only made his fearection throb harder. He might have been stuck playing her game, but that didn't mean he had to play her way. Rather than push her away, he held onto her and stood up.

She wasn't especially heavy, but neither was he all that strong. It didn't help that she was still humping him, throwing off his balance. He fell on top of her on his dresser, getting her claws loose. Not wanting her to get her grip on him again, he reached under her and got his forearm around her tail, lifting her to one side and turning her over against it. With her tail clenched under one arm, he wrapped his other around her midsection and picked her up to fuck her from behind against a wall.

Ember grinned. "Not such a soft pony after all..."

"Shut up!" Anon wheezed. He hadn't the presence of mind to think of a witty comeback. He just wanted to hurry up and finish fucking her before his dick got cooked. The concentrated aphrodisiac of her dragon pussy juices were making short work of him. "F-fuck!" With a couple last good thrusts, he shot the first couple of ropes into her and screamed. He practically threw her and yanked himself out as his cum practically flash-boiled into steam inside her. He fell backwards onto his bed as gold-clad hooves smashed open his bedroom door.

In a flash of movement, he felt Celestia's lips wrapped around his dick, soothing the burn with her magical healing. He looked at her viridian eyes looking back at him as her three-foot-long tongue swirled around his shaft. "Oh, it's you," Anon said as a green flash returned Chrysalis to her original appearance.

"Hey! I was going first!" Ember said, pushing Chrysalis aside, getting the last couple spurts of his cum in her mouth. She grimaced. "Bleeuugh! Dude! Your cum has absolutely NO SPICE!"

"Uh... I'm... sorry?"

Author's Note

Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, Anon.

Who's next!?
YOU DECIDE!

Nominate a character in the comments of this chapter!
The nomination with the most upvotes will be the next chapter!

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01. Lyra Heartstrings

It was a bright and sunny weekend morning. Aloe turned the sign on the spa's front door from 'closed' to 'open'. Lotus looked over the spa appointment books. Hers and Aloe's were quite naturally filled. Beside their books was a lined notepad with 'Anon' written at the top. Since it was his first day, the list of ponies under it was quite naturally blank. But that was okay, he could handle the walk-ins.

At Fluttershy's insistence, Aloe and Lotus gave him a job interview. He gave them the best massage he could, based on what he knew. They were genuinely impressed with his skill, and after a day of minimal coaching, he'd developed a real talent for pony massage therapy. They were dubious of his success, and made it clear that because of their limited budget, he would be working purely on commission. He begrudgingly accepted. They gave him Massage Suite 3 (formerly the storage room) and wished him the best of luck.

The first customers of the day walked in, Lilly, Daisy, and Rose. It had been a long week of working at their floral booth in the Ponyville marketplace and they were ready to treat themselves to a little pampering. Lilly and Daisy had made appointments. Rose, however, had not.

Rose smiled weakly. "I was hoping to squeeze in myself as a walk-in with one of you."

Lotus frowned. "I'm afraid Aloe and I are booked for the entire day. But Anon is available." Lotus pointed at him standing at the far side of the spa. He had a towel draped over his arm as he stood beside the door to Suite 3.

Rose pursed her lips nervously. "Oh, the... um..."

"Human," Aloe answered as she helped Lilly and Daisy into their spa robes.

"I uh- I think I'll pass," Rose whispered quietly to spare his feelings. "Maybe I can make an appointment for later this-" Rose was nearly tackled as the front door flew open and a mint-green unicorn bounded inside.

"Is it true? Is he here!?" Lyra Heartstrings asked. Her eyes swept the room and locked onto the human, still standing by his suite, towel in arm. "Oh my gosh! Does he still have any availability!?" she asked excitedly.

"You would be his first client," Lotus said. "Would you like a-"

"Yes!" Lyra didn't even let Lotus finish speaking as she grabbed a robe from the rack and quickly trotted over to Anon. She grabbed one of his hands with her hooves and inspected it closely. She beamed at him with a wide grin and said, "I'm ready!"

"Um... okay?" Anon said, opening the door for her. She trotted inside and he followed her, closing the door behind him. Inside the suite, she turned and looked at him, seemingly enthralled with every single aspect of him.

Lyra's tail was wagging like an excited puppy. "So are you really going to massage me with your... your, um, paws?"

Anon chuckled. "They're called hands," he said, holding them up and turning them around for her to look at them.

"Haaanz," Lyra said, overly enunciating the word, as though she was chewing on it. "Haaands."

He wiggled his fingers and pointed at each of them. "Fingers."

"Feeengerrs."

"And yes," Anon continued, "I used to be a massage therapist in my world. Before I ended up here."

"What happened?" she asked as she climbed up onto the massage table.

"I'm not sure exactly," he said as he applied some massage oil to his hands. "I woke up one morning, got ready for work and went to my usual café to get a cup of coffee. But it was closed for renovations. So I went to the big chain coffee place." Anon shuddered at the memory of going to the big chain coffee place. You know which one.

Anon began by rubbing down her back. Lyra practically purred under his hands. The mare was more cat than equine. "Anyway, I waited in line and practiced reciting my order in my head. I could never seem to get it right. So I got up to the front of the line and said, 'Chai grande cappuccino frappuccino mochaccino Al Pachino latte vente klatu verrata necto... er something, something third reiche-y...' I don't remember exactly what I said. But it made a portal open under my feet and I fell into this world."

Lyra turned her head to the side to look at him. "Wow. Then what happened?"

Anon started to focus on her shoulders and continued his tale. "Fluttershy found me wandering in the Everfree forest. And after a bit of culture shock regarding talking horses, I found that this world wasn't so different. The fact that you speak the same language as me helped. Fluttershy told me that I needed to get a job and eventually get my own place. And since I didn't want to keep being a mooch, I decided to get a job doing what I had always done; massage therapy."

"Yeah, but for ponies?" Lyra asked, curious, but not at all disappointed with his treatment of her so far.

Anon moved from the top of her shoulders to the midline of her back. "Well sure, it's ponies and not humans. But the basic architecture of shoulder muscles isn't that different between mammals. And after a crash course in pony muscular anatomy and kinesiology at Princess Twilight's Library, I applied for a job at the Ponyville Spa."

"You know Princess Twilight?" Lyra asked.

Anon shrugged as his hands moved back up her spine, working out the knots in her muscles. "I wouldn't say I know her. I met her a couple times. Once when Fluttershy first found me, and then when we visited her library."

"So you're living at Fluttershy's?" Lyra asked.

"Just until I can make enough to get my own place," Anon answered. "I don't want to be a mooch like her brother."

"I heard he became a 'mane therapist'," she said. "Do you know how to do that?"

"What even is that?" Anon asked.

"I think it's like a massage... for your head?" she guessed.

"I mean, I guess I could try, if you want," he said.

"Yes, please."

Anon wiped the massage oil from his hands on his towel and combed his fingers through her mane in short little scratching motions. Lyra's back curled and arched as she hummed in enjoyment. His fingers lightly grazed against her horn and she gasped. He had a cursory understanding that a unicorn's horn was sensitive, but he wasn't sure in what way.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to hit your horn."

"No, it's okay," Lyra said, shifting her legs a little. "You can keep massaging it."

"... It?" he asked.

Lyra blushed. "Yeah, I mean, like... yeah. It's okay if you touch it. You can rub it. Can you rub it a little bit?" she asked nervously.

"Um... okay?" Anon experimentally placed a single finger against the base of her horn and ran it up along its length, feeling the spiral ridges of it as he went. "Like this?"

"Mhmm," Lyra hummed as she chewed her lower lip. "You can... can you use more? Like, your whole, uh, hand?"

"Uh, I don't know..."

"I'll pay you triple!" Lyra blurted.

"Um, okay... like this?" Anon asked, wrapping his fingers around her horn.

"MHMM!" Lyra hummed excitedly. "Up and down?"

Anon was no stranger to the 'five knuckle shuffle'. And this was feeling dangerously familiar. But Aloe's voice echoed in his memory, "Remember Anon, the customer is always right!"

"Okay..." Anon started stroking the unicorn's horn, slowly at first, experimenting with different pressures, speeds, and distances of movement.

"Oh yes! Just like that!" Lyra moaned. Her legs rubbed together and her hooves pawed at the sheet covering the massage table. "K-keep going! J-just a little faster, just a little bit more..." Anon winced and braced himself, unsure of exactly what was going to happen.

Lyra's tail flagged straight up. "Yes! YES!" she cried out as a shower of sparks shot from the tip of her horn. They arced onto Anon's shirt, and splattered it with sparkling blotches before they evaporated into nothing. Her eyes rolled back and her tongue lolled out of her mouth as she panted and flopped over onto her back. "That was the best- hornjob- in my entire life!" she said, breathlessly.

Anon nodded at the other end of the table. "Your... hind end seems to be... ahem, sweaty."

Lyra blushed and slinked off the table, nearly slipping in the puddle of 'sweat' she had made. Her shaky hooves tried to wipe it with her towel.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I just got a little... excited there. Bonny doesn't like using her mouth to do that, and she isn't very good at doing that with her hooves."

"Bonny?" Anon asked.

"Mmm, my wife," Lyra said.

"Oh? I hope she isn't going to have a problem with... this." Anon said.

Lyra gave him a goofy grin. "Oh, no, this doesn't count. It's just a massage, right?"

"I suppose so," he agreed.

"I love her. But it'd be nice to be able to have someone to vent to about married life, you know?" She licked her lips. "Massage therapy."

"I'm not sure that means what you think it means," Anon said.

Lyra smirked and reared up to put her hooves over his shoulders. She leaned in close to whisper to him, "Next time I'm in here, you can put your fingers anywhere you want." She nibbled on his ear lobe. "Anywhere." She dropped back down to all fours, walked around him, and flicked the underside of his chin with her tail. She grinned and wiggled her hips. "Hmm, I like yooou," she purred. "I can't wait to tell everypony about you."

"I appreciate the word-of-mouth advertising. Goodness knows I need it. But maybe not tell your wife about the... happy ending?" he cautioned. Lyra's coy expression didn't waver. She left a sizeable sum of bits on the counter before she turned to leave.

"Don't worry. I know exactly who to send to see you next!"

Author's Note

389715

07. Rarity

The realtor mare unlocked the front door and led the way inside to tour the condo. "So this is the common room. There's a little kitchenette on the other side of the brunch island. Comes with standard appliances. All pony-height, obviously. So if you don't mind squatting or hunching over... The hallway leads to the two bedrooms. One is furnished with a bed and dresser for your..." She eyed the duffle bag slung over Anon's shoulder. "Clothes, I assume? So you could turn the other room into a den, or study or something. Or keep it as a bedroom for a roommate. And there's a bathroom on the right. So what do you think, sir?"

Anon had barely been listening to the mare. He had a lot on his mind after what had happened with Fluttershy. Even though she had apologized, it still stung. It was a harsh reminder that despite being a sapient creature who could speak the same language as the locals, he was still a stranger in a strange land. Though it did make him wonder if Fluttershy had ever had a relationship with another pony, rather than another animal. Like him.

"Sir?" she asked him again.

"Sorry," Anon apologized. "I was miles away. What did you ask, Miss...?"

"Doctor."

"Miss. Doctor?"

"Dr. Hunter."

"You hunt doctors?"

"No, my name is Dr. Hunter."

"If you're a doctor, then why don't you work at Ponyville General?"

"Firstly, I'm a doctor of archeology, not a medical doctor. And secondly, real estate pays better."

"So... how does an archeologist end up selling houses, Dr. Hunter?" he asked.

She adjusted the hem of her skirt, revealing her cutie mark of a stylistic house. "Because that's what my cutie mark is telling me. I didn't want to go into the family business, so I went to school for archeology. But it turned out I was way better at selling new homes than excavating ancient ones. And please, just call me House, Dr. Hunter is my dad's name."

"... Dr. House?"

"Yes, not to be confused with Dr. Horse, who does work at Ponyville General." Anon gave her a funny look. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just trying to think of a joke about lupus... but never mind. What were we talking about?"

"I was asking what you thought of the condo," she repeated.

"Oh." Anon looked around the room they were standing in. It looked exactly mediocre. "Is it within walking distance of the spa?" he asked.

"This is Ponyville, sir, everything is within walking distance," she said.

"I suppose that's good enough," he said. "I'll take it." She passed him the purchase agreement form and he signed the dotted line. He traded her the clip board for the keys to the condo.

"Congratulations." House Hunter extended her hoof to him. He took it in his hand and shook it.

"Thanks." She took her clipboard and left, closing the door behind him. Anon dropped his duffle bag of clothes on the hardwood floor. The soft thud echoed through the small condo that felt far too large for someone all alone. It was a house, but it was far from being a home.

The fridge was empty, though that was probably for the best. The kitchenette cabinets came with a few rudimentary pots and pans. The bedroom did indeed have a bed, though the mattress was bare. He opened the drawer of the bureau and unzipped his duffle bag into it. His few meager possessions spilled out. His work uniform, his only change of tattered clothes, and his pouch of remaining bits.

There was a lot he needed to buy. But there were a few essentials he needed to get right away. Not the least of which was some food. But also some linen for the bed, and some new clothes so he could stop looking like a vagrant bum. And there was only one place in Ponyville for that. He grabbed the rest of his money and wore his most presentable combination of rags.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique. Where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique!" a yak said as the entrance doorbell rang. "How may Yona help you today?" she asked.

Anon regarded the yak. Her frame was a good bit taller than a pony's, though the arc of her back still only came up to his chest. "Hey," he greeted, still less than enthused about... much of anything. "I need some... clothes."

"Well you've certainly come to the right place," a young stallion said, joining them. "My name is Sandbar. Is there something in particular you're looking for?" he asked. He sidled up alongside the yak in a manner that was clearly far more intimate than mere coworkers.

"I need like... a whole wardrobe," Anon said, idly thumbing through the racks of outfits.

"We can surely provide," Sandbar said. "Although you are going to find that our standard fare is a bit more... equine than you may prefer."

"I see that," Anon said.

"We'd be happy to help," Yona said, "but we'll have to refer you to our lead designer for your... custom fitting."

"That sounds expensive," Anon said.

"You might be surprised," Sandbar said. "She can be quite generous."

"Heavens, darlings, my ears are burning," Rarity said as she came downstairs from her workshop. "Ah, Anon!" she greeted. "I was wondering when you would walk through my boutique's door."

"Oh?" he asked curiously.

"Fluttershy mentioned that you would need some new garments soon," Rarity said. "She's such a sweet friend, isn't she?"

Anon grumbled something fairly neutral-sounding.

Rarity continued. "She sent over your approximate dimensions some time ago, so I went ahead and crafted you some lovely pieces. Though I would need your precise measurements for a proper fitting." She turned to Yona and Sandbar. "Mind the store, won't you?"

"Yes Ma'am," they both said.

"This wa~ay!" Rarity sang as she turned and trotted towards the back of the boutique. Anon followed after her, as her tone and wording made it clear that it wasn't a request. In the back of the store was a somewhat-secluded corner with mirrors and modesty barriers. Anon watched Rarity vanish into a (relatively) small walk-in closet and wheel out a rack with a few articles of clothing that looked vaguely familiar to him. "Now then, darling, before we get started, why don't you go ahead and get out of those tattered old things?" she said.

"What, these?" he asked, looking down at the clothes he was wearing. He knew they looked bad, but it still didn't feel very good to hear someone else say it out loud.

"Forgive me darling," Rarity said. "I don't know how to say it nicely, but your clothes do look like they're gone a few rounds with a Timberwolf and lost."

"Ouch."

"Up, bup, bup!" Rarity chided. "It isn't meant as a slight against you, darling. I only mean that you deserve better raiment to suit the rest of you." She looked at him through the rack of human clothes. "Go on now. Shed those crimes against fabulousity." Anon peeled off his shirt and stepped out of his pants. "The trunks as well," Rarity said.

"You mean my boxers?" he asked, pointing at his underwear.

"Boxers?" Rarity tittered. "What a silly name for an undergarment. But yes, those as well."

"Err..."

"Oh, are you one of those never-nudes?" Rarity asked.

"Pardon?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, there are dozens of them. Dozens!" Rarity said. "Of all ponies, I can understand the desire to be dressed at all times. But most of the time, even I prefer to be au naturale, at it t'were." Rarity said, turning in place, to show that she was aggressively naked. Though as with most mares, her tail did a good job to mostly occlude her modesty.

"No, it's not that... or maybe it is..." Anon grumbled. "Eh, fuck it." He slid off his boxers. They did need to be washed anyway.

Rarity did a quick double take and blushed. "Oh, I'm flattered darling, but you can put that thing away," she said.

"What?"

Rarity motioned her hoof at his general groin region. "You, *ahem* excitement, dear. Do see about getting that stowed away before we begin."

Anon looked down at his flaccid penis. "This is as away as it gets," he said. "I don't have a sheath or anything."

Rarity looked out from around the clothes rack again and gave his genitals a more clinical examination. "Oh. I'm sorry. Well then I could understand your hesitance to disrobe. Let start with getting something for your hindquarters first then." Rarity grabbed a wide tube of fabric, shaped into a truncated conic section, and levitated it over to him. "Here, try this on."

Anon took it and held it up in front of himself. "This is a skirt."

"... And?"

"I don't think I'm Scottish enough to pull off this look," he said.

"Forgive me, darling, I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with the term."

"It's just- I was hoping for something more in the way of pants," he said.

"Ah. Well never fret, I have pants for you as well," Rarity said. She shuffled a few of the clothes hangers over and passed him another garment.

"This is a shirt," he said.

Rarity chuckled. "I know we come from different cultures, but pants, shirt? Words are just things. Try it on." Anon tried to put the shirt on, but found that the sleeves were oriented to come out of the front the the breast of the shirt, which would have made sense on a quadruped pony, but not a human. "Hmm," Rarity hummed as she looked at the fitting. "I can see where I'll need to make a lot of changes." She undid the buttons in the front so he could put his arms in the sleeves and hold his arms out to the sides. She took her fabric marker and made some measurements to take in the back, and add to the front.

"How is this pants, though?" he asked. "Pants are for legs."

"Yes. Your forelegs," Rarity said, grabbing a photograph of Fancy Pants from her famous clientele wall. Just as she described, his 'fancy pants' was the top half of a tuxedo, with sleeves for his forelegs, and the jacket covering his back. His back half was very much bare.

"This is Donald Duck fashion," Anon said.

"I don't know who that is, darling. But he sounds like a sharp dresser," Rarity said.

"I'm not going around bottomless," Anon said. "I need pants for my legs. My hind legs." He picked up his old clothes. "Look, look at these," he said.

Rarity examined the structure of his old pants. She looked at them, and then at his lower half, and back again. "These don't seem to make very much sense, darling."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, here," she said as she pointed at the crotch of the pants. "If your... business is always out and about, wouldn't a garment of this shape be a bit confining? I can't imagine that would be very comfortable."

"I mean- sometimes?" he admitted.

"It just seems to me that a skirt makes more structural sense then, wouldn't it?" Rarity asked.

"I dunno, I guess. But I'd still prefer pants. And some fresh pairs of these, as well." He held up his boxers. Rarity held the shorts in her magic, giving the hem a pull.

"Stretchy!" she mused.

"Yeah, it has an elastic waistband," he said.

"How innovative." Her hoof touched a corner of the material. "Is this satin?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

"How posh for an undergarment," she said.

"Well it feels good," he said.

"I can imagine," she smirked. "Alright. I have some ideas. Let me just get your exact measurements." Her magic grabbed her tape measure and her notebook. Her hooves guided his arms out to the sides as she quickly went about getting his dimensions, working her way down. Back and front, waist, legs. "And now for the in-seam," she said. "Pardon me for just a moment." Her magic gently cupped his balls and lifted them up and out of the way as her hooves measured the inside of his leg and thigh.

"Hey now-!"

Her magic made his whole groin tingle, and despite the embarrassing nature of the clinical examination, he could not help his involuntary reaction as his penis lifted itself up out of her way. But just as quickly as she had touched him, she was done and jotted the number down. She looked at him again and saw the turgid state she had left him in.

"Ah, I suppose now I should be flattered?" she asked.

He grabbed his old boxers and started to quickly dress himself. "Yeah, well, it has a mind of it's own. And to be fair, you were the one touching it."

"I'm kidding, darling. There's no need to be defensive or embarrassed. You're not the first stallion I've had get a little too excited about getting new clothes," she said with a coy grin, swishing her tail. "I'm aware of the effect I have on ponies."

"Uh huh."

"Why don't you go have a seat in the waiting lounge and I'll throw something together more to your liking in just a few minutes."

"Alright..." Anon walked out of the dressing booth and found the lounge. There was a small couch and a couple chairs with a coffee table and some fashion magazines.

"Can I get you any refreshments?" Sandbar asked as he walked by the lounge. "We have coffee, tea, juice...?"

"Applejack Daniels?" he asked.

"It's... not even noon," he said.

"No you're right. I should just start with a beer," he said.

"I'll get you some juice," he said.

Anon grumbled. "Pssh, yeah. Because that's the same thing."

"Is everything alright?" Yona asked.

Anon shrugged. "Eh."

"If answer is not yes, then it's no," Yona said, sitting in the sofa across from him. Sandbar returned with a tray of cups and a pitcher of juice.

Anon watched the pony kiss the yak before he turned and left to mind the store. "I take it you two are... an item?"

"Yup. He's my special somepony," she said.

"So how does that work?" Anon asked. Yona raised an eyebrow. "I don't mean like, physically. I mean like, isn't that unusual? Since you're different species, doesn't that make things challenging, as a couple?"

She smiled. "Oh, does the human have his eye on a special somepony?"

Anon groaned.

"That's not a no," Yona said, smiling a little bigger, before regaining her composure. "Yona won't lie. When Yona first come to Ponyville, Yona felt alone. Only yak in town. Surrounded by ponies and other creatures, but still feel alone. Yes?"

"Yeah," Anon agreed with the sentiment.

"Some ponies only see what Yona is: not pony. Then Yona meet Sandbar. Kind pony say sweet words. But pony still not yak. Yona not sure if Yona could love non-yak. Yona feel even more alone. But after time, Yona learn that it's not what we are, but who that's important." Yona placed her hoof against Anon's chest, over his heart. "Who we are, inside. And Sandbar love Yona for who she is, not what. And Yona love Sandbar. Even if he is pony."

"Yak still best, though," Sandbar said, clearly eavesdropping after hearing his name.

"Yak still best!" Yona agreed. He poked into the lounge to kiss her again before he walked away to mind the store. "Some ponies maybe give funny looks, but Yona no care. Let ponies look! Yona happy. Yona find right partner. Even if not yak. Anon find right one too. Even if not human."

"Yeah. I guess some ponies can only see me for what I am," Anon said.

"But not all ponies. Most ponies good," Yona said.

"Thanks Yona. I think that's just what I needed to hear."

"Of course. Yaks give best advice!" she beamed and then went to go join Sandbar out in the front of the store.

By the time Anon finished his glass of juice, Rarity returned with the alterations to his clothing completed. She led him back to the changing room. "I didn't have any elastics for the waist band, so I hope you don't mind a drawstring," she said.

"How about a belt?" he asked.

"That works too," she said. He tried on the pants. They fit really well. He was hoping for a new pair of blue jeans but he got slacks. "And for the top, I made two rows of buttons to make the closure adjustable."

"Like a chef's coat," Anon said.

"Ah, so you do have an eye for fashion," Rarity mused.

"Why the popped collar?" he asked.

"Creative license," Rarity said. "I thought the look suited your... verticality. The material is very light, and the three-quarter sleeves roll up to help you to stay cool in the heat of summer."

"Thank you," Anon looked at himself in the mirror. He looked good. "So how much do I owe-"

"Up-bup-bup!" Rarity chided. "First one's free. Because I know once you've had just a taste of Rarity, you'll be back for more."

"Heh, phrasing."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing. But yes, I will certainly be back. I'm going to need a lot more clothes that aren't pony shaped."

"Darling, I love clothes about as much as any pony possibly can. But you really should see about getting over your little disorder."

"Disorder?"

"Being a never-nude. It's going to get expensive for someone with you... custom figure."

"But I'm not a-"

"Listen, I can make you a full set of those... oh heavens, what did you call them? Boxers?" Rarity tittered. "Those are simple enough that I can make you set in bulk without you breaking the bank. I can make you more clothes if you wish, but at the danger of hurting my own business, I really recommend that you become more comfortable in your own fur- er, skin."

"... Consider it considered," he said. At least he had something else to wear while he laundered his old clothes. A quick trip to the marketplace on the way back to the condo made the bed and fridge not look quite so bare. It wasn't a home yet. But it was a good first step.

The condo bed was a far cry from the feather-soft mattress that Fluttershy slept on. But it was still better than her couch. Anon stretched out as he woke up the next morning. Moving through the full range of motion, he found that his shoulder was back to feeling pain free without any of the topical analgesic. That meant it was time to report back to work. He opened the fridge.

"... I probably should have bought something other than cider." He stopped by Sugarcube Corner on the way to grab some breakfast. "Morning, Pinkie," he greeted.

"Morning, Stud!" Pinkie Pie said back with a wink, flirting with as much subtlety as she was capable of. Which wasn't much. "Looking for breakfast? I've got a tray of free muffing samplers fresh out of the oven. Different flavors and colors. Even pink. The pink ones are the best, by the way. Do you want one of my pink ones?"

"Uh sure," Anon said, never one to say no to 'free'. "I'd love to eat your pink muffin."

Pinkie Pie giggled. "I bet." Despite the line of customers, Pinkie Pie leaned on the counter and watched Anon eat. "What'da think?" she asked.

"Hmm," Anon tried to articulate his critique with a full mouth. "I'm tasting strawberry, cherry, and... something else that I can't identify..."

"Snozzberry," she said.

"Ah yish-" Anon finished chewing. "It's a little dry though."

"You think my pink muffin needs a cream filling?" Pinkie asked.

Anon nodded. "Yes!"

"I agree." Pinkie Pie licked her lips. "Maybe you can help me with that."

"Sorry Pink, I already got a job over at the spa."

"Oh, I know," Pinkie said. "Everypony knows."

It was then that Anon noticed the eyes of every mare in the shop were on him. It wasn't the stares of fear or curiosity that he had gotten used to from before. These were more... lurid. The Ponyville clock tower chimed the hour.

"Fuck! I'm late for work!" Anon jumped up out of his seat and jogged out the door. Fortunately, as his realtor had said, everything in Ponyville was within walking distance. He covered the distance in just a couple minutes. "Oh..." There was a line outside the spa door. Why was there a line outside the spa door? As he passed by the crowd he heard a smattering of hushed murmurs.

"He's here today!"
"Can he really last a whole minute?"
"I heard he can go for five."
"I heard he can go as long as you want."

Anon walked past them and into the entrance. Aloe was busy at the front desk with a customer. Lotus lit up as soon as she saw him. "Anon!" she called out to him, waving him over. "I'm so glad you're back! Miss Flüttershy told us you were unwell a couple days ago."

"I'm fine now. Sorry about that," he apologized. He glanced at the line. "Is that whole line for me?"

"Oh, no no," Lotus said. Anon breathed a sigh of relief. "That line is to make an appointment with you."

"Wait- WHAT!?" he balked.

Aloe nodded. "It seems that Miss Zecora was most effusive about her enjoyment or your service."

"If your estrus needs tending, ask for Anon's happy ending," one of the mares in the waiting area recited.

"Good ol' Zecora..." Anon grumbled. Leave it to her to be his hype-mare, coming up with a catchy slogan. His shoulder ached just from looking at the line and he sighed. "Who's first?" he asked.

She told him.

"I... I'm going to need a minute to get ready," he said.

"That's fine," Lotus said. "She has the Tour de' Spa package with her friend. They're in the sauna right now. But they should be done in just a few minutes."

"Her friend?"

Lotus told him the name of her friend.

"Is... she on my appointment list?" he asked nervously.

Lotus looked over at Aloe who quickly flipped through the appointment book but then shook her head, no.

"Okay. I guess I'll be in my suite then," he said. Anon's suite, massage suite #3, formerly the storage room, abutted against the sauna, sharing a wet wall for the hot water plumbing. The wall was not terribly thick. It wasn't hard to make out the muffled voices coming through

~

"... was just in my boutique yesterday, darling. I made him a dapper ensemble," he hear a mare say in her recognizable inflection.

"Did... did he mention me, Rarity?" a second, more timid voice asked quietly, but still just barely audible.

"I don't believe so," Rarity replied. "Why do you ask?"

"We... we had a bit of a fight. And he moved out."

"Oh, goodness darling! What happened!?"

"We- we may have... done it."

"It? You mean IT it?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, ho, ho, Fluttershy! You little minx!" Rarity tittered. "You simply must dish!"

"... about the fight?"

"No, no, darling. The sex! I mean, yes obviously I care about the fight. But you know what a whorse I am for juicy gossip! Tell me everything!"

"Rarity, he... He was amazing!" Fluttershy said. "Even though he isn't as big as a stallion-"

"I know."

"Oh?"

"As I said, he was in my boutique yesterday. And let's just say, he was quite excited about getting new clothes. But how did he use it?"

"Rarity, I- I thought it would only be for thirty seconds like any other stallion. It was small enough for me to fit the whole thing in my mouth, but I sucked and sucked, and he didn't cum. I thought I was doing it wrong, but he told me humans last a long time. And when he mounted me, I was on my back on the bed and... he just kept going and going. And then when he used his fingers at the same time- Oh his fingers, Rarity! You have no idea how good they feel!"

"You sound like you enjoyed it."

"I lost count of how many times I came!"

"Fluttershy, you needn't exaggerate for me."

"No, I mean it! I lost count after nine!"

"You can't be serious."

"Did you want to find out for yourself?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, no, no," Rarity said. "You know how I feel about engaging in inter-species erotica, myself. But you know how much I love hearing about your little forays on the wild side with your other critters."

"Well that's just it," Fluttershy said. "I don't think he saw it that way."

"Well of course not, darling. Just because he's another species doesn't mean he's an animal. At least, no more than you or I. For one, he can talk."

"All of my animals can talk," Fluttershy said. "The only difference is that I can understand them. But they're still my pets."

"Heavens, darling! Please don't tell me you thought of him as a pet!"

"I mean, yeah? Sort of."

"Goodness, Fluttershy! Even the racoons that work at my Manehattan boutique can't talk, but I still treat them like employees, not pets. Imagine if Twilight treated Spike like a pet!"

"..."

"Okay, bad example. But what if Sandbar treated Yona like a pet?"

"..."

"Outside of the bedroom, I mean!"

"I suppose that would be pretty demeaning for her..."

"My word Fluttershy. And you're supposed to be the element of Kindness."

"Oh- you're right, Rarity. I'll apologize to him the next time I see him," she said.

"Well darling, I don't know if you saw the line out there, but you may have to take a number... Oh fiddlesticks! Look at my hooves pruning up! How long have we been in here!?" Anon could hear their hooves shuffling as they exited the sauna.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at his suite's door. Anon walked over and opened it. Rarity stood on the other side. Her normally-perfectly-sculpted mane was damp, slightly messy, and hung limp against the side of her neck. The rest of her fur glistened with the moisture from the sauna.

"Good morning, Anon," Rarity greeted. He held the door for her and bid her inside. "Such a gentlecolt!"

"Good morning, Miss Rarity." Anon said. He briefly glanced past her, out into the rest of the spa, but he didn't see Fluttershy anywhere. He looked back at his current client. "It's nice to see you again."

"Yes. Who would have thought that we would see each other again so soon after our last encounter?" she mused as she made her way inside and he closed the door. "When Fluttershy first told me you had started working here, I thought I would make an appointment as an opportunity to meet you for the first time. But alas..." She looked at the outfit he was wearing. The one she had just made for him the day prior. "I see you're quite taken with your new apparel. Now that is flattering."

"Thank you, again, for the clothes," Anon said.

"You're quite welcome, darling." Rarity set her bag down on the suite bench and climbed up onto the massager table.

"So, um... What can I do for you today?" he asked.

"It was my understanding that your employ here was that of a masseur, no?"

"I am."

"Then a massage is what I would like," she said.

"Yup. Okay... What kind of a massage, though?"

"Well actually, I was hoping to try something new today," she said.

"Oh?"

Rarity's magic opened her bag on the bench and levitated out a bottle over to Anon. "I have this leave-in crème-rinse for my hair. As I'm sure you've noticed, my coiffure isn't its usual, radiant self at the moment. I do so love the sauna, but the humidity is atrocious for my mane and tail."

"Isn't this something for someone at a salon to do?"

"Yes... though normally I would just do it myself."

"So why have me do it?"

Rarity chewed her lip for a moment. "Because I asked?" Anon opened the bottle. "Ah ah!" Rarity chided. "The crème has an oil base, and I won't have you staining the clothes I just made you!"

Anon shrugged. It wasn't anything she hadn't seen before. He peeled off his shirt and pants and hung them on the bathrobe hooks until he was just in his boxers. He poured a blob the size of a silver dollar into his palm and walked over to start rubbing it into her mane. She stopped him at just that last moment.

"Anon, I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I want to stress how important my mane is to me. Anypony who knows me will tell you the same. I know you're not cutting or dying it. And there's really no way to screw up a crème rinse..."

"If you're trying to make me feel less nervous, you're doing a really bad job of it," Anon said.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm just trying to make you understand what an honor this is."

"...Okay. I get that. So again, why do you want me to do it then?" he asked.

This time it was Rarity's turn to be nervous. "I... I have it on good authority that your fingers feel good."

"Um, I'm not sure who told you that," Anon lied, "But I don't think they meant that in the way you're thinking."

"Oh, I know precisely how they meant it, darling," she said, regaining her confident poise. She glanced back at him over her shoulder and gave her mane a little flip. "As you were."

Anon held a bough of her mane and ran his palm down along it, spreading the crème, working it into her hair until it was no longer visible, save for a glossy sheen. He got some more from the bottle and worked his way up the back of her neck until the bulk of her hair was treated.

"The scalp is where the nutrients are most useful," she said.

"I know. I'm getting there," he said. With another handful of crème, he pressed his fingers through her mane, touching down against the fine fur of her neck, gently, but firmly working it into her skin.

"Ah yes... yes that's nice," she said with a breathy whisper.

Anon moved his fingers up and down through her mane in small, half-inch advances, working his way up the back of her neck to the base of her head. He spent some time there, moving from one side to the other, feeling out the little knots of stress in her neck muscles. Good posture might save your back when being hunched over a sewing machine, but looking down all day at what you're working on just moves the problem area.

Rarity hummed in pleasure and he felt her leg twitch at the edge of the massage table against his thigh.

"Anon, I have to be honest," she started to say. He stop moving. "No you can keep going," she encouraged. "While I did make this appointment last week, I did hear about your little happy ending since then."

Anon just kept massaging her scalp. "Oh?"

"It would have been hard not to," she said. "News of a good stud travels fast among mares this time of year."

"Yeah... I can see that," he said.

"To be clear, I've no interest in partaking," she added. "Not that I've anything against interspecies relationships. I'm quite happy for Sandbar and Yona, for example. It's just not something I want for myself."

"That's fine."

"And nothing against you, dear. I don't want you to feel like I'm basing this on what I've seen. Size isn't everything."

"I- I know that."

"And it's not because I'm a lesbian, either. Goodness knows how I envy them this time of year though."

"You seem awfully defensive about this."

"It's not that," she said. "I'm a virgin. I shan't be taking any penis into my marehood before marriage. And I didn't want to lead you on."

"Don't worry. You weren't." Anon worked his way forward along her scalp.

"Mind the horn, darling," she said, "You mustn't get any crème rinse on it."

"Okay," Anon said, giving her horn space, parting her hair away from it. "Why is that?"

"The crème doesn't taste very good."

Anon massaged her scalp a bit longer. "Wait, hold up-" Anon said. "Why does that matter?"

Rarity giggled. "Stallions only have one erogenous zone, so they think there's only one way to please a mare. But a mare has dozens, my dear. You've been doing quite well on one of mine already."

"... Your hair?"

"My scalp, darling," she said. "A unicorn's horn is a common one as well for mares. Stallions, as well, though few admit it."

"Yeah. I might have glanced at an anatomy book since I got here," he said.

"Yes, but just having a map of the sea doesn't make you a sailor," she said. "Otherwise you would have know how wet this was making me." Her tail swished against his leg. "Not all of that dampness is from the sauna, you know. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. My tail still needs to be treated. Would you mind giving me a back rub on the way?"

Rarity propped herself up on the pillow as Anon worked her way down her back, working the conditioner into the fur of her body. First her back, and then her sides as well, taking care not to tickle her. If her reaction was any indication, then her cutie mark on her flank was yet another erogenous zone. Finally he arrived at the dock of her tail, and the rest of it hung down below the edge of the table.

Anon turned and grabbed his stool to sit at the end of the massage table. As he sat down, Rarity rolled onto her back, letting her tail drape down over the edge. Anon filled his hand with more crème and worked it into the hair of her tail, running his fingers through and down like a broad comb. Bending over to reach down the length of the tail as he was, he was more or less face to crotch with the horny mare. While the rest of her fur had dried for the most part, her marehood shimmered with a sheen of wetness coating it.

"I must admit, you've quite the restraint," Rarity said. "Most stallions in your position would be trying to drown themselves by now."

"Well, for one, I'm not a stallion," Anon said. "And secondly, you didn't ask me to,"

"Such a gentlecolt!" Rarity said. "If it's my consent you're waiting for, you have it."

"And third," Anon continued, "maybe I don't want to do that."

Rarity scoffed. "Anon, you wound me! I'll have you know that my hygiene is immaculate! I ask at the danger of invoking a lady's worst fear, but do you not find my scent pleasing?"

'Oh geez, here we go,' Anon thought. Another thing the females of this world had in common with his. He held his hands up. "I'm mostly smelling the conditioner," he said. "And besides, it's more that fact that you're a- not a human. I mean, I'm not a pony. Doesn't that bother you?"

Rarity opened her mouth to respond, but paused in silent thought for a moment. "Not as much as I thought it would," she said. "Now that I think of it, I'm more bothered that you declined. I've never been denied before."

"But didn't you just tell me that an interspecies relationship was not something you wanted?" he asked.

"I did," she replied. "Because I didn't want you to get your hopes up about having intercourse. I never meant to imply that foreplay was out of the question."

"...Huh."

"Do you think that makes me selfish?" Rarity asked. Her horn glowed and Anon felt a gentle grip on his shaft through his boxers. "I'll return the favor."

"I appreciate that, but I just can't get over the hurdle of performing oral sex on another species," he said.

"But you have no problem receiving it?" she asked.

"..."

"I... may have spoken with Fluttershy recently."

"Uh-huh," Anon groaned.

"Darling, please, I must know your opinion of my scent! My pride is at stake! Does it displease you? Either tell me no, or spare my feelings!"

The air around him very much still smelled like hair product. He hesitantly, slowly leaned over and inched closer to her marehood. The puffy, inverted-teardrop shape above the pucker of her ponut looked like an exaggerated exclamation point. It wasn't so different from a human vagina that he could mistake it for anything other than what it was. But it was still different enough in appearance to be an ever-present reminder of how alien the situation was. In case her dripping wetness wasn't enough, she parted her lips with her magic.

He realized that he could smell her right along. It had been so subtle, yet omnipresent. He thought it was just how she smelled prior to the overpowering fragrance of the conditioner. Even the day before in the boutique. It was the same scent. But it wasn't just her. It was specifically coming from here.

"Oh- yeah. I've been smelling this!" he said. "I've been smelling this right along. It smells fine!" he assured her. Apparently even that was inadequate.

"Just fine?" she asked.

"No, I mean, it smells nice," he corrected. "I thought you were wearing a fragrance or something yesterday-" he paused. "That's not what this is, is it?" he asked.

"No, darling. That's all me," she assured him. "And as they say, smell is seventy five percent of taste, so..." she coaxed him.

Anon winced and closed his eyes. He stuck out his tongue like a petulant toddler, summoned all his courage, and leaned forward. His nose bumped into her pussy and he gave her a quick, experimental lick, and braced himself. The last thing he wanted to to was break her heart by being physically ill.

Anon's eyes shot open in surprise. He looked up at her eyes and then back down at her pussy. He gave her another, longer lick. "Holy shit! This is good!" he said.

"I appreciate the compliment, but please spare the vulgarities when referring to my lady bits," she said.

"No, I mean this is really good!" he said, leaning in to give her several more licks. "I'm actually upset at how good this tastes!"

"Um... thank you?"

"Wait, is this illusion?" he asked.

"No darling, I told you, that's all me."

"How is it this good!?" he asked, not bothering to wait for an answer. He grabbed her thighs with his hands and pulled her hips into his face as he went down on her like he hadn't eaten in days.

"It's good hygiene and- ah diet, darlingggnnah!" Rarity moaned as she felt him licking her entire pussy with his tongue, probing her entrance with it as deeply as he could.

"Are they all this good?" he asked when he briefly came up for air and then dove back in.

"Forgive me daaahahling, I hadn't conducted a formal survehehahey!" Rarity's hooves gripped the edges of the massage table and her legs crossed behind his head. "Don't neglect tha-ah-ah, the rest of my tail, dear."

Anon moved his hands from her thighs to finish crème rinsing her tail, running his fingers through the snarls to straighten them. Though it did mean her tail getting pulled.

Rarity tensed and her legs squeezed his head as she moaned and shuddered in orgasm, flooding his mouth with more of her delicious nectar. Though a lady, she remained, irrevocably, a horse. And she had underestimated the strength in her legs crushing his head. His tail-pulling, at first accidental, and then somewhat playful, became the desperate yanking of a man on the verge of asphyxiation. "Gently, please!" she cried out. Her legs unlocked behind him and he lurched upright, coughing and sputtering, gasping for air. "Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! I lost myself there!"

"I got a little lost, myself, in there." He coughed once more. His entire front was drenched, dripping from nose to belly button with her climax.

"I really am sorry," she apologized again. "I've never had a stallion do that to me like that before. Their lapping is usually so boring and predictable. But that-" she panted. "My word, it felt like you were doing calligraphy with your tongue! And here I had been anticipating your fingers!"

"Well they have been called magical," he said with a coy grin as he reached down to show her. Her magic grabbed his wrist.

"Ah-ah," she chided. "Wash first, please. That crème is for external use only."

"Right. Of course." Anon turned and washed his hands in the utility sink in the corner of the former storage room. After a thorough rinse, he came back over to the massage table, holding them up for her approval. She nodded and he stood beside her on the table.

He placed his palm over her marehood and looked into her eyes as he slid his middle finger between her folds, moving up and down just inside her vulva. His other fingers gently parted her lips and joined the first, sliding up and down along her wet lips. He took care to keep his palm from grazing the one spot that would send her over the top, despite it's incessant winking. Her moans of pleasure became plaintive whining. The wry look on his face told her he wasn't failing out of ignorance.

"A moment ago you were wearing me on your face like you were going to take me to a masquerade, and now your teasing?"

"Do you want some cheese with that whine?" he asked.

"Ugh! Is that your idea of wit?" she asked. "You've a much better use for that tongue." Her eyes crossed as she looked up at her own horn before she nodded her head and pointed it at him.

"Uhhh..."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Typical male. It's not a penis!"

All things considered, it wasn't the weirdest thing Anon would have done, even just in the last five minutes. He leaned forward and opened his mouth. Despite her argument contrarywise, her horn was very much phallic. With it in his mouth he did his best to lick and suck it in the way he imagined he would want to be pleased. Between that, and his fingers playing with the exterior of her pussy, her content moaning told him it was a winning strategy.

"Goodness, darling, put it in already!" she begged.

"Hit his hin!" Anon mumbled around her horn.

"Not my horn," Rarity said, grabbing his wrist with her hoof. Anon's mouth pulled off her horn.

"You mean my fingers?" he asked.

"I mean all of it," she said.

"I thought you said you were saving yourself for marriage."

"I don't mean your penis! I'm asking for your deep tissue massage," she said.

Anon held up his forearm. "Yeah, I'm no stallion, but I'm pretty sure this will break your hymen."

Rarity laughed so hard she totally didn't snort, and if you ever ask her she will deny it. "Darling! I lost my hymen to a hairbrush handle ages ago!"

"So... I can give you an elbow-deep tissue massage, as long as it's not my penis?" he asked.

"Of course darling. I need to preserve my innocence after all."

Something inside Anon's mind broke. "...You know what? Fuck it. I'm not even going to try to question that logic. Roll over!"

"Mhmm, so commanding!" Rarity purred.

She looked back at him and he held his arm up to her again. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

"Darling, if I were any more ready, I'm quite certain I might perish!"

"Alrighty..." Anon held her tail in his free hand and held it off to the side. His other hand was already plenty wet from playing with her. He probed around for just a moment, easily finding her entrance. He slid in one, two... four fingers. He tucked his thumb against his palm and slowly slid the rest of his hand inside up to his wrist. He curled his fingers inside into a fist and advanced more of his arm in. The lips of her pussy stretched naturally around the girth of arm as more of it slid inside. She didn't show any sign of discomfort, even as his upper arm bumped against the dock of her tail, keeping him from going any further.

He started to pump the length of his arm in and out of her. Her 'lady bits' were making some very unladylike, wet squelching noises. She didn't seem to pay it any mind.

"Mmm! It feels so good to finally feel something fuck me!" she moaned.

As he continued to fist-fuck her, Anon was intrigued that he was having such an easy time of it. "Pony or not, I wasn't expecting a virgin to be so-" don't say loose, don't say loose, don't say loose, "so- not challenging to... enter?"

Rarity narrowed her eyes slightly. "Just because I've never taken a real penis doesn't mean I don't have a vast array of feminine accessories."

"Rarity, I'm up to my elbow in your pussy. You can just say, dildos."

Rarity balked. "Such a mouth! I still say it's best use isn't talking!" She arched her back and craned her head and horn, back at him. Anon put his free hand under her chin and started sucking her horn again while he fisted her deeply. He could feel the effects his tongue was having on her horn in the muscle spasms of her pussy gripping his arm. "Ah- As I was saying- I'm actually surpri-hi hi-ized you don't have any dildooh-oh-ohHhs here! There's a shoh-ah-ahop in Canterloh-oh-ah-hot I could recommmmhhmend! The Cro-oh-ohmygoodness-ohmygosh-ohmygosh!"

Rarity's pussy gripped and spurted out around his arm as she came, splashing her marecum against his boxers. Meanwhile, her horn went off inside his mouth. Anon's vision went white for a moment and it felt like he was licking a nine-volt battery. Arcane smoke puffed out of his nose and all he could smell was o-zone. His mouth let go of her horn and his hand let go of her chin. She flopped forward onto the massage table and hugged the pillow as she came.

"Keep going!" she cried.

His free hand grabbed her tail and he planted his feet firmly on the tile floor, giving him the leverage to keep his arm moving through her orgasm. He kept going and so did she, whimpering against the pillow as he kept fucking her, and her pussy kept quivering and squirting until no more came. His arm kept going until her hind legs, tense in orgasm, fell limp, along with the rest of her body. She fell face-first into her pillow.

"Lalilee?" he tried to call her name but his tongue was numb from her horngasm. "Rawrahee!?" he tried again with no response. With some effort, he was able to pull his arm out of her thoroughly-fucked marehood. It pulled free with a wet 'shlorp', letting the rest of her pent up marecum gush out. He walked around in front of her and lifted her face out of the pillow. "Hey yew ohay?" he asked. Her eyes fluttered for a moment and crossed out of sync like a chameleon as she struggled to focus.

"Daaaahhhhlinnnnngggg-" The word just sort of dribbled out of her slack mouth. She started to fade out again.

"Hey hey, don't pash out on me!" he slurred, giving her cheek a firm slap.

"Mmm. Harder, daddy..."

"Rarity!" he forced the word out.

"Oh- ho- what!? " Rarity blinked her eyes awake again and they focused on him.

"Hey, welcome back," he greeted. "Do you think you can walk?"

She nodded. "I think so." She looked over at her bag on the bench. Her horn sparked and then fizzled. "Grab my bag for me?" she asked.

He brought her bag over to her. She opened it and dug through it manually with her hooves grabbing her bit pouch. She poured it into his hand. It was a good deal more than his asking rate.

"Rarity, this is a lot."

"No, dear," Rarity said as she nodded back at her hind end. "That- was a lot!" She blinked and shook her head before looking at the mound of bits in his hand. "From one entrepreneur to another, this is what you should be charging for that kind of service."

"Rarity, this is almost triple stud rates!" he said.

Rarity smiled and whispered, "And you would still put those other stallions out of business!"

She carefully climbed down off the massage table onto shaky hooves and walked to the suite door. With her mane in a frightful mess and her face plastered with a goofy grin she staggered through the spa lobby like a drunk mare that had just been thrown from a tornado. She reunited with Fluttershy on the way out of the spa.

"I think you were right, Fluttershy..." Rarity said, looking back at Anon, blowing him a kiss with a sly wink.

"... he is an animal."

Author's Note

287737

22. Sunset Shimmer

Anon yawned and rubbed the sleep out of eyes as he pushed open the door to the spa. The mug of hot chocolate in his hand was a far cry from the caffeine of coffee. But he was worried about introducing the concept of coffee in a world where Pinkie Pie existed. It was bad enough that she burst out of his bath water the night prior. But then she insisted on staying the night.

"No way. That's the last thing I need..." Anon thought. "Waking up to her as my sleep paralysis demon after a slumber party."

"Did somepony just think PARTY!?" Pinkie's voice rang out in his mind, making him drop his cup.

"What the fuck!? You can hear my thoughts?"

"Um... no?"

Anon squatted down to pick up his spilled cup. It turned out he couldn't even let himself think that word. "What does the to-do list look like for today's appointments?" he asked. Aloe gave him the appointments clipboard. "This looks... short."

"You scheduled a half-day for today."

"What? When?" he asked.

"Last week. You needed to go to Canterlot to buy a replacement for a piece of equipment?"

"But that was just last night..." Anon scratched his head. "And I don't even remember-"

"You sent Pinkie Pie to tell us."

Pinkie Pie, stay out of my timeline! This has already gotten too meta as it is!

:pinkiesmile: "Okay! Sorry!"

"I sent Pinkie Pie to request a half-day for me," Anon said. "That is a totally-canon thing that happened. I must work now until the time-lapse."

Later that day...

"Wow, this morning feels like it just flew by," Anon said as he stepped out of his shower and dried himself off.

Lotus peeked into the shower room. "Your chariot has arrived," she said.

After landing in Canterlot, Anon pushed open the door to walk inside The Crop, making the bell chime.

"I'll be right with you!" a voice called out from the back of the store. "Welcome to The Crop, my name is Vel- oh, Mister Anon! Welcome. I didn't think you would be back so soon."

"Yeah, me either," he said.

"Strap!"

"I'm with another customer," Strap said from the back room.

"We have a V.I.P!"

"No, you don't have to," Anon objected. "I'm just here for one thing... the uh..." He dug the note out of his pocket.

"One deluxe edition Big Red with the realistic texture," Strap said, carrying an oblong box to the front counter.

"Oh, how did you know?" Anon asked.

"It's not for you. It's for-" The orange unicorn following Strap stopped in her tracks when she saw Anon.

Anon rolled his eyes. He had become accustomed to ponies gawking at him in awe, curiosity, or fear. "Yeah yeah, I know. I'm-"

"Human," she said. "Here! How!?"

"Uh, the short version is I fucked up my coffee order," Anon said. "But... how do you know what I am, and yet still surprised to see me? I thought the news of me had spread all across Equestria by now."

"Oh, I'm visiting from out of town," she said. "Like really out of town."

"Uh huh..."

Her hoof grabbed his wrist to look at his fingers. "How did you retain your form through the portal?" she asked.

"Okay, what the actual hell are you babbling about!?" Anon demanded. "Who the hell are you!?"

"Did Twilight not tell you?" she asked. "I'm Sunset Shimmer. I'm kind of a big deal. I did save the world a few times. Well, not this one. The human one. On the other side of the portal."

"What? You don't mean that cardboard prank that Discord pulled, do you?"

"No, I mean the one in the mirror," Sunset explained. "In Twilight's castle." Anon gave her a blank look. "Did you not know about that?" she asked. "Did she not tell you about it?"

"Okay, to be fair..." Princess Twilight Sparkle started to say defensively, "It's not like he was a pony that used to be a human. Otherwise, yeah I would have assumed that he had come through the mirror portal."

"You could have at least told me about it!" Anon said, a bit more loudly than he meant to.

"Look, there was a lot going on and it just sort of slipped my mind."

"How do you just forget about the existence of an interdimensional portal when you're talking to an interdimensional creature!?" Anon asked.

Twilight rubbed her forehead with her hoof. "Okay, look, by the time I realized it, you were already providing a vital service to Equestria. And I didn't want to be the one that caused you to suddenly vanish from our world. I would prefer Canterlot to remain un-pillaged, if you get my meaning."

"Do you really think it would come to that?" Anon asked.

Twilight gave him a serious look. "Did you ever hear the tragedy of Princess Platinum, the unicorn?" she asked.

"Actually, yes, I have," Anon replied.

"So I think you know the answer then," she said.

"So how did he get here if not through the mirror portal?" Sunset asked.

Twilight shrugged. "It's a mystery."

"And how did he not transform into a pony?" Sunset asked.

"That is also part of the mystery," Twilight said.

"And you just didn't care to investigate it?" Anon asked.

"Anon, I'm the sitting ruler of Equestria. Just because I've been busy, doesn't mean I didn't care."

Anon grumbled. "It didn't stop you from making time to get busy." He made a punching motion.

Sunset gave her a salacious look. "Oh really?"

Twilight blushed. "Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you go with Anon to investigate the mirror portal!" She ushered them out of the throne room. "But Sunset, make sure you bring him back!" She closed the doors after them.

Standing outside of the throne room doors, Sunset looked at Anon. "Did you seriously..? With her?"

Anon crossed his arms. "I have a strict client/stud confidentiality policy."

"Stud? You? Really?" Anon presented his S-Class studding permit. "This isn't real, is it?"

"You can ask Mayor Mare yourself," he said as he put it back in his pants pocket. "She issued it."

"But I thought the S-Class was just a legend, passed down by generations of horny mares," she mused as they walked through the castle hallways. She looked over at the modest bulge in his pants. "How?"

"How what?"

"How are you even a stud?" she asked. "I've been to the human world. I've seen the... males there. I wasn't impressed."

Anon rolled his eyes. "I'm the best at what I do because unlike my equine peers, I use every tool at my disposal. Not just the obvious one." His prideful smile faded. "I give my clients what they need, not just estrus relief. Sometimes that's advice. Sometimes they don't even realize what it was they needed. Sometimes it's just an ear to listen."

"Huh..." They walked together for a while in silence.

"So what do you need?" he asked.

"I... need to get back to the human world," Sunset said.

"But I thought you were originally from here," Anon said.

"I am. And I still visit often. But I just don't like being here at this time of year," she explained.

Anon noticed just how much her tail was flagging. "Ah, I get it."

"I only came back to do some... discreet shopping." She nodded at the oblong box in her saddle bag. "I can't exactly waltz into a human adult toy store and pick up one of these."

Anon raised an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure there's a good Chance® you could find one."

Sunset huffed. "Isn't it weird for you, though?"

Anon chuckled. "I've already had a very fucky day. You're really going to have to be more specific."

"I mean... studding... with ponies. You're a human."

Anon shrugged. "I mean, yeah, at first. But you just get used to it, you know? Didn't you say you've seen human males in the other world? Like, hands-on?" Sunset blushed, but nodded. "Wasn't that weird?"

"Yeah..." she said, unlocking the door to the castle's special storage room and they walked inside. "I did that, but I've always preferred ponies. Especially..." she shifted the weight of the toy in her saddlebag.

"Yeah, I get it. You're a size queen."

"Oh, go fuck yourself!" she said, closing the door behind them.

"Fuck me yourself, coward!"

Sunset's tail twitched as she eyed him up and down. "How?"

"What!?"

"How do you..?" she tried to ask. "How do you stud to be an S-Class?"

"Well, mostly with this." Anon pointed to his arm and balled a fist.

"What about..." she pointed at his crotch.

Anon had abandoned his shame long ago. He immediately unbuckled his belt and let his pants drop to his ankles to let his erection spring free so she could inspect the goods.

She tilted her head slightly, neither disappointed nor impressed. "Well it's definitely the biggest one I've ever seen on a human, but..." she shifted her bag.

"Yeah, I'm fucking well aware."

"But does it work?"

"Did you just ask if my dick works?"

Sunset shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. I meant does the studding work? To treat estrus."

Anon grinned. "I have a list of satisfied clients longer than your silicone toy there." Sunset chewed her lip and shuffled her hind legs. "Would you like your name to be added to that list?" Sunset winced and clenched her eyes, but nodded earnestly. "Alright, look, let's head back to my spa and-"

"No." Sunset locked the door to the storage room. "I can't wait any longer."

"What, right in here?" Anon asked.

"Yeah." She turned around and lifted her tail. "I forgot how... feral it makes me feel, being here in the spring."

"So you want me to just... go for it?" he asked.

"Please don't make me beg!"

"Okay, okay. Relax." Anon put his hands on her hips and guided his dick into her. Her vagina offered no resistance as he slid all the way in.

"Put it in," she moaned.

"Um..." Anon pressed his hips against hers.

"Oh..."

"..."

Sunset turned a darker shade of red. "Okay, let's be honest. This isn't flattering for either of us."

"I mean, I wasn't going to say anything..."

"We're different species!" Sunset said. "We have completely different anatomy!"

"And every mare is different," Anon said. "Some are tighter, and some are-"

"I thought you weren't going to say anything!" she snapped.

"I'm just trying to make you feel less self-conscious."

"Yeah, well..." she stammered and looked at his arm. "Besides, I thought you usually used that."

Anon flexed his arm. "Oh, I totally do."

"Okay, so..?"

"Yeah, sure!" Anon pulled his dick out.

She looked back at his dick. "And... I still want to do that. But let's do it in the human world, where we'll be more... compatible."

Anon worked a few fingers into her wet pussy. It was a pleasant thought, having intercourse with a human again for the first time in... it felt like ages. "That sounds really nice, actually."

"Cool. Yeah," Sunset panted as he pushed a fourth finger inside her and added his thumb to start to give her a proper stretch. "Yeah, we can head back to my place, there and... do that."

Anon rotated his wrist a little, working more of her copious lubricant over the widest part of his hand before pushing it inside her vagina.

Sunset let out a throaty moan as Anon worked more of his forearm inside her. "Oh yeah! That's it!" Her hind legs shuffled against the smooth stone floor while Anon plunged his fist back and forth inside her. He angled himself to focus on hitting her spongey g-spot. "Yeah, right... right there! Oh, okay, yeah, I can see now why you're an S-Class. You actually know what you're doing!"

Anon reached around her waist and teased her winking clitoris with his fingers.

"Okay, yeah," she panted, "Never had a stallion's dick do that!" She felt the pressure building up inside her the more he hit her g-spot. "W-wait, you need to- Ngh! I don't want to make a mess in here! I need to-" Sunset braced her hooves against the floor to push herself away from him. The tension in her body wasn't making it easy for her vaginal muscles to leg go of his arm. She yelped as his fist pulled out with an audible 'plop' just as she came. And went, tumbling forward through the mirror portal.

"Oh fuck! Sunset!?" Anon walked into the mirror portal after her.

Sunset Shimmer's human form fell out of the portal on the other side. From the portal in the the statue base, she landed on the sidewalk in front of Canterlot High School. It was late evening, and she was grateful that there was nobody around as she keeled over and moaned, still mid-orgasm, soaking through her newly-materialized panties under her skirt. She rolled over and looked up at the silhouette of the horse statue in the moonlight.

It neighed, whinnied and knickered at her, making her panic and instantly sober up from her orgasm. She scurried backwards away from the thing.

After following her through the portal, Anon fell forward onto his hands- no, not his hands. He looked down at his hooves and screamed. But you know, screaming horse noises.

"Anon!?" Sunset quickly got to her feet and reached out to touch his shoulder. Anon's thought's blared through her telepathic touch.

"AHHH! I'M A HORSE!"

"Anon! Relax!" she said. He could understand her words.

"I'm a horse!" Anon neighed anxiously. "Why am I a horse!?"

"Ponies go through and turn into humans," Sunset said. "Humans go back through to Equestria and turn back into ponies. But you were already a human on that side and..." She looked up at Anon's massive equine frame. "You are definitely not a pony right now. You're like a full-on draft horse!"

"I need to go back!" he neighed loudly.

"You need to at least stop making a scene!" Sunset said, looking around them nervously. "You don't have to keep neighing out loud. I can hear your thoughts," Sunset whispered.

"I need to go back," Anon thought at her.

"Yes, I agree," Sunset said, picking up her backpack, feeling the hefty weight of the toy inside it. A smile spread across her face. "But first..."

"This is uncomfortable," Anon thought at her, cantering through town as she gripped his mane while riding on his back.

"Yeah, the saddle was invented for a reason," she said. "But it'll be worth it, I promise. Okay, up ahead, take this right and just follow the dirt road..." They headed further out of town into a more rural neighborhood. A farmhouse came into view. "Okay, slow down. Hooves on the grass. Keep it quiet."

"What the fuck? Are we breaking into a house? Am I your getaway horse!?" he thought at her.

"No, no!" Sunset assure him, giving him some relief. "We're breaking into her stables."

"That's not better! You get caught breaking into someplace in the city, you get arrested. You break into somebody's farm, you get shot and buried in a field!"

"She's not going to shoot us," Sunset said. "Look, there's no way I'd be able to get you into my apartment, and I'm not doing this out on the street." She slid off his side and opened the fence gate. She led him through, towards the stable entrance. "Relax, I know what I'm doing." The large door creaked open.

He followed her inside the modified barn. There were three horse stalls. One of them was occupied. She led him to the one next to it. The inside of the stall had a polished sheet-metal wall that was functionally a mirror.

Anon neighed at her. She placed her hand on his side. "Okay, what is going on here? You're putting me in a stall? Are you selling me?" he asked.

"What? No! I just like having the mirror to see myself." She backed him into the stall.

"See yourself what?" he asked, looking at the mirror. He wasn't used to having his eyes on the sides of his head. It gave him a nauseating 270° field of view, but he lacked the depth perception of forward-facing binocular vision. "See yourself what?" he neighed at her as she walked away.

"First time, huh?"

Anon looked over at the horse next to him. "Uh... what!?"

"It's your first time, I take it," the other horse neighed at him.

"First time what!?"

The other horse swished their mane. "A human female comes along, buys you from a stud ranch. And you think you're going to be breeding all the mares you want. But no... So what did she lure you in here with? Carrots? Apples? Sugar cubes?"

"Uh..."

"Not that I'm complaining, mind you..." he shook his mane and showed his teeth for as much of an approximation a horse could do for a smile. "Have fun."

"Quiet down, Lonestar!" Sunset scolded the other horse as she dragged a hay bale into Anon's stall.

Anon neighed at her. She touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry, is that supposed to be my dinner?" he thought at her.

She smirked. "Not yet." She peeled off her jacket and then her shirt. She unclasped her bra, letting the nipples of her perky breasts stand stiff in the cool evening air. She pulled down her skirt and her panties, revealing her two-tone red-orange bush nestled just above her pussy. She reached into her bag pocket and spritzed herself with some perfume, specifically on her pubic region.

Anon's nostrils flared. He hadn't the vocabulary to describe it, but whatever it was that she just sprayed was the most delicious thing he had ever smelled in his entire life. It wasn't so much that he wanted to taste it, as it was that there was no force in this world that could keep him from doing so.

Sunset grabbed her legs and pulled her knees back to her chin as Anon stuffed his muzzle into her pussy. "Yeah! That's it!" she said. "Get on in there!" Anon's extra-long equine tongue dipped greedily into her vagina trying to lick as much of that delicious taste as possible. She looked underneath him as his shaft began to emerge from his sheath. "Here we go!" she purred. The concentrated 'mare in heat' spray worked every time. Anon instinctively slapped his meaty shaft against his belly. "Easy now. Don't get too excited yet."

Sunset pushed him away just long enough to roll off the hay bale and shove it underneath him. Anon tried to follow her as she moved, but found the stall was too narrow for him to turn around. He neighed anxiously at her. He felt her touch unmistakably on his penis.

"Hay now!" he knickered. The caressing touch of her hands was joined by the wet licking of her tongue on his tip. He looked at her reflection in the polished metal wall. The last scraps of his humanity watched this human woman swallowing the tip of his horse cock in her stretched jaw. He meant to feel revulsion. But instead he bucked his hips.

She pulled her mouth off his dick. "Looks like somepony is ready!" She turned around underneath him and reached between her legs to guide his dick to her pussy.

"Sunset, I don't think this is a good idea," Anon thought at her. "I'm pretty sure this is how Catherine the Great died!"

"That's a myth! And besides, I can take it!" Sunset said. "You think I buy those toys to be decorative?"

Anon looked at her lithe human body next to the meaty baseball bat of his dick. "Well, I hope you bought lube with that toy!"

"Yeah, I'm not stupid!" She reached into her bag and pulled out a large squeeze bottle discreetly labeled SEX LUBE. She squirted a generous amount into her hand and slathered up his shaft.

He knickered again, almost rearing up over her.

"Just look at these!" Sunset said, cradling his scrotum in her hand, giving each of his kiwi-sized testicles a kiss. "So heavy. So full. They must be aching to be emptied." She smeared the rest in her palm all over her vulva and got back into position under him. She backed up and pressed his blunt tip against her pussy, wiggling her hips from side to side to try to stuff it inside. "Come on. Come on!" she growled aggressively in frustration.

"Maybe if you try relaxing?"

"I am on a mission!" Sunset said. "I am going to get this horse cock inside me!" She reached under herself to finger her pussy and spread more of her wetness on him. She shifted her hips back against his dick again, applying a bit more pressure. As turgid and thick as he was he was starting to get genuinely concerned that she was going to bend it. He tried to back away from her but found his butt already against the back of the stall with no room to retreat.

Slowly but surely, the muscles of her vagina yielded and stretched around his monstrous girth, and his blunt tip suddenly popped inside her, surprising them both.

"F-fuck!" Sunset moaned, breathing hard as she waited for herself to get adjusted to the biggest dick she'd ever had yet. Her fingers played with her clitoris, blurring away the discomfort into pleasure. "Okay... okay..." she breathed. She shifted herself on her elbows and pushed back some more, taking several more inches inside of her. "Oh, fuck yes! This is what I needed!"

Anon looked over at the mirror next to them to see her progress. She rocked her hips back and forth working her way backwards along his length. She had gotten about half of it inside her, which was a lot, by his estimation, for a human amount of dick. But she showed no signs of slowing down. The sheer size difference between them made her pussy feel unimaginably-tight wrapped around his shaft.

It was a strange realization to him, when he realized that he had been with far more ponies than humans by this point in his life. But he still had a fundamental of female human anatomy. Enough to have expected to bottom out inside her by now. But she just kept taking more and more.

"How!?"

"I know I look like a human on the outside," Sunset said between panting. "But inside, I'm still a pony." If anything she just pushed herself back harder. Her face was starting to get that expression of a body-builder straining to do a deadlift. Nothing about what she was doing looked fun to Anon.

"Doesn't that hurt!?"

"Fuck no!" she breathed. "You don't know how badly I've been wanting this!"

"I'll have to take your word for it."

She kept rocking her hips back against him, taking just a little more each time. "Come on. Don't just stand there. Fuck me!"

"I'm pretty sure that would literally, not figuratively, but literally kill you! And I just don't want to get put down as an accessory to your accidental death," he said. Looking at her in the mirror, she looked like she was trying her hardest to rearrange her internal organs with his dick.

"Then fuck me gently if you want to be a little bitch about it!" she said.

Anon didn't even have to take a step. He just shifted his weight on his hooves to slightly lean forward, pushing a few more inches of his dick inside her. She growled through her clenched teeth. "Oh god, keep going!"

Anon was barely leaning forwards and backwards on his hooves, but the sheer mass of his body was more than enough to drive his massive horse cock deeper inside her. The edge of his sheath grazed her vulva when he finally bottomed out inside her, shoving her uterus up against the diaphragm of her lungs.

She let out a very unattractive, throaty grunt as the wind was literally knocked out of her. "Oh, fuck!"

"Are you okay!?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Uugh! Go!" She tried to move herself to ride his dick but she didn't have any leverage left. She lost all of her core strength from having such a huge dick stuffed inside her abdomen, filling her like a sock puppet. She could barely get the syllables of her words out between her labored panting. "Go! Fuck! Fuck me!"

Anon barely had a few inches behind him to try to back out of her. But there was so much of him inside her that her vaginal walls had a firm grip on him, pulling her along with him as he moved. He pushed her forward again and she grabbed onto the straps of the hale bale. The next time he backed up, he was actually able to withdraw a few inches of his dick.

He was afraid to move forward again. "Are you sure?"

"Nngh!" She groaned loudly but she was nodding her head as hard as she could. He shifted forward again. What little room was left, he filled again, bottoming out inside her. Her free hand was between her legs, a blur on her clit. "Keep going!"

For a giant of a horse, it was hard to make small movements. But he tried his best to keep his movement as small as possible. But even his slightest shifting looked like it was seismic to the frail woman's body under him. Were it not for her furious masturbating, one would think from the sound of her strained grunts and growls that she was being tortured.

Much of Anon's body felt incredibly alien to him. But there was one sensation that was unmistakable, regardless of his form. He felt the pressure in his scrotum rising and he could tell he was getting close to the point of no return.

"Sun- Sunset- I I'm gonna..!"

"Yes! Yes!" She squealed. "I'm so close! Gonna cum! Gonna cum!"

Anon's own worlds in his mind became scrambled, leaving only incoherent knickers and whinnies from his mouth. His primitive brain stem took over and his hips bucked forward, shoving Sunsets entire body against the hay bale.

Sunset felt his tip flare inside her, stretching the depths of her vagina to their absolute limits. "GRRH! FUCK YEAH! UNGH!" Her pussy gushed as she came, spraying out around the stretch that his shaft was giving her as it started to throb and twitch inside her. After being shoved down, she was nearly lifted off the bale as his dick pulsed and flexed, trying to belly slap himself with her entire body.

Sunset held her hand over the bulge in her abdomen that his flare was making inside her as he started to cum. She could feel the impacts of each powerful rope of cum he blasted inside of her. He flooded her uterus to the brim, bloating the bulge in her belly even further. She actually started to feel nauseous from the pressure, and from being shoved, lifted and dropped with each throb and feral thrust of Anon's body giving into its equine instinct. And from cumming just as hard herself as she went along for the ride.

Anon's consciousness came back to him after a moment. He could still feel his dick twitching in the aftershocks of his incredible orgasm. His dick was still plenty firm, but it wasn't the steel rod that it was a moment ago. Sunset Shimmer was laying limp on the hay bale under him. If it wasn't for the fact that she was still breathing so hard, she would have looked like she was murdered. And she still had most of his dick lodged inside her.

She was laying on top of her hand. He could still feel her rubbing his flare through her belly. She panted for another minute until his flare started to subside and she could catch her breath. The rest of his penis started to soften and it began to retreat. She flexed her muscles, giving him a little squeeze with her vaginal grip. It nearly got him to harden again. But is also made a good bit of his cum spurt out of her.

"Good boy!" Sunset purred. "Ready for round two?"

Before Anon could even voice his disbelief, the stable door flew open and the lights switched on.

"What in tarnation!" a voice yelled.

Anon looked at the angry rancher stomping towards them. "Oh shit! Oh shit! They have a gun!" he neighed frantically.

The rancher stood outside of Anon's stall. "What in the Sam HELL!?"

"You told me to get my own damn horse, Applejack." Sunset said. Her voice was unironically hoarse. "So I did!"

"Are you trying to die, Sunset!?" Applejack asked in mortified awe, seeing the size of the bulge in Sunset's abdomen, and then up at Anon. "You got a gall-darn Clydesdale!"

"I guess that tracks," Anon neighed to no one in particular. "I did used to drink a lot of Budweiser."

"Maybe die from cumming so hard," Sunset said with a goofy grin, still impaled on Anon's cock, rubbing her belly full of horse cum.

"Get your kinky ass the hell off my property!"

"Or else what?" Sunset asked, as she started to wiggle herself free. Applejack racked her gun. "Are you gonna tranq me with Ket again? Don't threaten me with a good time." Anon's flared tip finally pulled free with a wet PLOP, letting all the pent-up horse spunk gush out of her pussy in a thick torrent.

Applejack sneered at her, and the mess.

"Oh, don't be such a hypocritic!" Sunset said, standing on shaky legs. "Like you don't let Lonestar cream-pie you on the regular."

Applejack turned red with both anger and embarrassment. "That's different! I'm in a serious, committed, monogamous relationship with my horse! I ain't some serial-fornicating, fence-hopper like you and Fluttershy!"

In the next stall, Lonestar knickered and whinnied. Out from underneath him, a pale-yellow, pink-haired girl nervously stood up with ballooned cheeks.

Sunset Shimmer laid on Anon's back in post-coital bliss as he walked back into town. She couldn't keep the smile from her face. His equine face couldn't express the concern he was feeling. "Ugh. I need a long shower," he thought.

"You and me both," Sunset said. She was dressed again, but every single part of her was sticky with horse cum, girl cum, and who-knew what else.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he thought at her.

"It'll be fine," Sunset assured him. "I told you I could take the whole thing," she added with pride. "You were amazing by the way. I've never had anypony last that long."

"Thanks... I guess. But I meant, are you going to be okay with Applejack?"

Sunset nodded against the nape of his neck. "Yeah. AJ just get possessive of her horse. I think she's just jealous that Fluttershy can actually communicate with him. That's her special talent."

"Yeah, just like back..." Anon hesitated to use the word. "Back home... So is there just like, a version of everyone from Equestria over here?" he asked.

Sunset shrugged. "As far as I can tell."

"Is Fluttershy going to be okay?"

Sunset chuckled. "Yeah. She'll be fine. We're all friends. And besides, AJ would never give up her interpreter for Lonestar. He's pretty good at communicating in his own way, but it's still nice to have Fluttershy relay the, uh... details, you know? For consent?"

"That's... actually quite thoughtful," Anon thought at her as they arrived back at the portal to Equestria. "Maybe get AJ's consent before using her stable next time?"

"Next time?" Sunset asked as she slid off his back. She grinned as she looked him up and down. "Is that a promise?"

Anon knickered at her. Sunset put her hand on him. "Make an appointment! And as for my payment..." He nipped at her with his teeth, grabbing The Crop shopping bag with the deluxe edition Big Red with the realistic texture.

Sunset Shimmer smirked at him. "The real thing was better anyway."

Anon snorted at her before trotting back through the portal with a defiant swish of his tail goodbye.

Author's Note

1246504

23. Pinkie Pie*

23. Pinkie Pie*

Back in Canterlot, Anon fell through the mirror portal onto the stone floor, catching himself with his hands that had, only a moment ago, been hooves. He stood upright with the shopping bag straps still in his teeth. He looked at his hands and articulated his fingers as though seeing them again for the first time, much like when he woke up from his dreamt lifetime as a pony with Luna. That memory did not improve his mood.

He grabbed the bag handles from his mouth and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He felt the weight of the stallion dildo in his bag and looked at the relatively modest tent in his pants. The sheer heft of his horse cock swinging under him was still quite a vivid memory. As was the tightness of Sunset Shimmer's human form around it. There had been some days where he had been so exhausted from work that he had a hard time walking home. He wondered how she was able to walk at all after that.

"Whatever." Anon walked out of the storage room and navigated the halls of Princess Twilight Sparkle's castle. The light shining through the stained glass windows told him that at least the sun was still up. "Well, that's a plus." His mental map of the castle was dubious at best. The hallways all looked very similar as he bumbled his way more or less in a southern direction, if the afternoon sun was to be believed. Trying to find his way out, he walked past a familiar gryphon.

"This place is a labyrinth," Anon said.

"Yeah, well, it's kinda meant to be that way," Gallus said. "As a security measure."

Anon rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess that makes sense. So how do I..?"

Gallus pointed at the opposite hallway and started to explain the route out when the massive door behind him opened.

"Gallus, let me know when that book I ordered- oh, Anon! Back so soon?" Princess Twilight Sparkle asked.

"Am I?" he asked. "It's hard to tell." Twilight gave him a concerned look. "Actually, do you think you could call me a chariot to get back to Ponyville? The train probably wouldn't get there until after dark."

"Oh, I can get you there!" Twilight said. "Just make sure you hold your breath."

"Why? Are you going to-?" Anon vanished in a flash and reappeared outside of the Ponyville spa. "Uugh!" Anon wheezed as he felt his stomach do a flip. "I will never get used to that shit!"

The front door of the spa flew open and Lotus nearly crashed into Anon as she ran out. "Anon! What are you doing back? I thought you had taken the rest of the day off."

"Is it still today?" Anon asked. Lotus looked at him strangely. He had only managed to further confuse her. "Sorry. It's been a long day."

"You said you needed to go tool shopping. Were you successful?" Lotus asked.

"More or less," he answered. "Since I'm here..." He held out the bag from The Crop. Lotus glanced inside the bag at the deluxe edition Big Red with the realistic texture.

"Simply luxurious! Aloe and I were looking for this last night!" Lotus said, before blushing. "While doing inventory! I was just doing inventory."

"It's okay, Lotus. I believe you," Anon lied. He turned to leave.

"Anon, while you're here-" she added.

"Oh, this should be good..."

"I was just on my way to get some more stones for the hot stone massage," Lotus said.

"I don't care how hot they look, I'm not massaging them," Anon said.

Lotus looked flustered. "No, Anon. The stones are for-"

Anon waved his hand. "I know what they're for. I was making a joke."

"Oh. Ha ha. I get jokes," Lotus said awkwardly.

"Uh huh."

"But since we are covering your shift this afternoon, do you think you could pick some up?"

"And there it is."

"Please?"

"Lotus,"

"Pretty please?"

"Lotus,"

"I'll give your penis a special mouth massage!"

"..."

"..."

"God damn, that's cute."

"Is that a yes?"

"What happened to the ones we already had!?" he asked.

"They have gone missing. Considering the time of year, I can only speculate-"

"Right. They're probably up somepony's twat."

Lotus slugged him in the thigh with her hoof. "Language, Anon!"

"Sorry. Okay, fine, where am I going for these?"

"A rock farm."

"..."

"..."

"Is that a real thing?"

"Yes."

Lotus gave him the directions.

"... Well, that's going to be a hike."

Following Lotus's directions, Anon walked up the dirt road to the Ponyville rock farm. "Ponyville adjacent at best," he grumbled. His mind wandered to thoughts of his home, and Chryssi making him one of her famous green omelets as he shuffled his way though a carpet of deciduous leaves on the ground, leftover from the previous autumn. A grin spread across his face, thinking about that special thing she did for him with the hole in her leg as he-

The ground fell out from under him as he tumbled though the leaf litter into a deep pit.

~

"The fuck!?" Anon blinked though the raised dust and spotted a rope hanging down. He grabbed it to try to climb out. The rope snapped in his hands, releasing the counterweight for a mechanism that started ringing a bell.

A short while later he could hear hoof-steps approaching.

"It better be a stallion this time," he heard a gruff mare's voice say.

"Unless he flew away," another deadpanned. "Or teleported."

"Pegasi and unicorns don't bother with the rope!" the first one said. A dark-grey mare with a light-grey mane appeared above the pit. "Oh. It's just another animal."

"Oh, you have no idea," Anon said.

"Oh, shit! It can talk!"

A medium-grey pony with lavender bangs appeared, wearing a frock. "It can speak. But does it have a soul?"

A light-grey pony with a dark-grey mane stood next to them, saying nothing.

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin!" a pink pony said as she pronked up alongside the others. "Oh wait Maud, I know this animal! Hi Anon!"

"Hello Pinkie."

"So is this a catch and release?" Maud deadpanned.

"It's not a stallion," the gruff one said. "It can't give us what we need."

"Don't worry, Limestone, he has something even better!" Pinkie Pie said with glee as she hopped in place. "Aren't you excited Marble?"

"Mhmm," Marble nodded.

"I actually came for rocks," Anon said.

"Well, that's one thing we have in common," Maud said flatly.

Pinkie Pie fell over laughing. "Oh, Maud! You are just the funniest!"

"Would you please let me out of here?" Anon asked. "If I die in a hole I lose a bet." Limestone tossed a rope over a heavy tree limb and lowered one end down to him while the rest of them pulled the other end to lift him out. Once Anon was back at ground level, he dusted himself off. "Now if I could just get some-"

Limestone twirled the rope on the air and snagged him in a lasso before wrapping several more coiled around him. "Well, Marble, it's not the male you wanted, but..." Limestone said as she started to pull Anon along up the hill towards the farm house.

"Um, excuse you!" Anon said, struggling against his bindings. "First of all, no! Second of all, I'm off the clock!"

Pinkie Pie took the rope away from Limestone. "Girls, can we have just a moment?" Limestone snorted at her but just the same, walked away to the farmhouse with the other two. Pinkie turned around to face him. "Anon, can you do me a flavor?"

"A wha-? No! Pinkie, I just came here to get some massage stones for Lotus."

"So I have something that you want, to make a deal. So there must be something that you have, that I want, to make a deal."

"Yeah. Currency. Now untie me!"

"I will. Swearsies," she said. "But you know, it is that time of year..."

"I'm fucking well aware. But don't you already have a stallion?"

"I do," she said. "But we all grew up on a farm together out in the middle of nowhere. I mean, I left when I was a filly and traveled all over but they stayed, you know? Just three strong, young farm fillies blossoming into nubile maturity without a single colt for miles around, suffocating in their collective hormonal, lonesome desires. Marble... she's never had a stallion. So you need to de-virginize her!"

"I don't need to do anything!" Anon said. "Untie me!"

Pinkie smirked and tugged his rope closer. "You are in a position unsuitable to make demands. I could just give you back to Lime and let her have her way with you."

"Are we really doing good cop bad cop right now?"

Pinkie Pie's playful expression faded away. "Please?" Anon remained unmoved. "If not for me, for her? We were trying to save up for Big Mac before he got married and retired. But he wasn't cheap. And working a rock farm doesn't exactly make you rich."

"If you couldn't afford Mac, then you couldn't afford me."

"But that's why you'd give me friend's rates. For your best friend, Pinkie Pie?" She blinked rapidly at him.

"What are you doing?"

"...Being sexy?"

"Well, it looks like you're having a seizure."

"Pretty please? Get her rocks off and then you can have yours."

"I'm worth more than some rocks." Pinkie Pie's hair drooped and she looked like she was about to cry. "Oh, for fuck's sake, stop! That's blackmail! Fine! I'll do it! But you owe me something special!"

Her hair sprang back pinker than ever. "Yippie!" She bounded along, pulling Anon with her.

* Pinkie Pie & Co.

"Hey, you said you'd untie me!"

Pinkie smirked. "I will..." As they got closer to the farmhouse, Maud and Limestone opened the bulkhead leading down to the cellar.

Anon tried to pull away. "What? No! This is how horror movies start!"

"It'll be ~fine~," Pinkie sang as she pulled him along downstairs. The basement foundation walls were simple field stone, because of course they were. There was storage for some yard tools and barrels a various sundries. In the center of the room was a simple cot with a hay-stuffed mattress. Next to the bed was the statue of clearly a stallion, and it was strapped to washing machine.

"The hell is that?" Anon asked.

"Oh, that's just Maud's husband, Mudbriar," Pinkie explained. "He looked into the eyes of a cockatrice and got turned into a hunk of rock."

"You've got the hunk part right," Maud said, stroking the statue's permanent erection. "He's finally hard enough to satisfy me."

"Oh god, this is how I die..."

"Don't be so dramatic, Anon!" Pinkie said, pushing him onto the bed. She turned around and looked at Marble walking downstairs. "See? He's harmless!" Limestone walked down after her and closed the bulkhead door.

"I've heard about you," Limestone said, nipping at his pants to yank them off. She looked at his flaccid penis. "I'm not impressed."

"Well shucks, it's a mystery why you're single," Anon sassed. Limestone's nostrils flared.

"It's a neat trick," Pinkie said. "Watch! He just needs mouth hugs!" In a flash she dove into Anon's lap and sucked his dick like it was her only source of oxygen.

"F-fuck!" Anon squirmed in reflex but was unable to move away from the mare that seemed like she was trying to suck out his soul. "Pinkie, I thought you were married!"

"Look who you're talking to," Limestone said. "Do you really think any one stallion would be enough for her? Shit, I bet Cheese is grateful to get a break today."

Pinkie Pie's giggle was muffled with Anon's dick in her mouth. She didn't need long before she slowly lifted her face up off his shaft, glistening wet and now fully erect, practically tripling its dimensions in both length and girth.

"See Marble? The perfect practice peener! Not as big and scary as a stallion's," Pinkie said.

"Mhmm," Marble agreed.

"Hop on!" Pinkie invited. Marble nervously climbed up onto the cot and squatted slightly, hovering above Anon's dick. Pinkie reached underneath her and held his dick to help aim it. "It's already nice and wet for you." Anon wasn't sure who she was saying that too. Both would have been true. Marble's needy marehood looked plenty damp as well by the time they made contact. Pinkie rubbed his dick back and forth along Marble marehood before lining it up to guide it inside as she sat down. "There you go! Just slide it all the way in!" Pinkie watched the rest of Anon's dick vanish inside of her little sister until her hips met his. "Yay! You're no longer a virgin!"

"Truly a joyous occasion," Maud said.

"About damn time!" Limestone groused.

"Feels good, huh?" Pinkie asked.

Marble nodded. "Mhmm."

"Go on then!" Pinkie coached.

Marble steadied her balance and slowly lifted her hips again to start fucking him. Nervously at first. As she became more comfortable and accustomed to the new sensation the nervousness turned into awkwardness. Anon looked up at her and she looked down at him through her bangs. She didn't look disappointed so much as bored.

"You okay?" Anon asked.

"Mhmm."

Limestone huffed. "Fine, I'll say it. Fucking boring!"

"Well, I usually take a more active roll, but..." Anon wiggled a bit in his rope.

"It's up to you, Marble."

Marble blushed for a moment, but tugged at the rope's knot to untie it. Anon shimmied out of the bindings and freed his arms. He gently placed his palm against Marble's chest. "Here, lean back a bit," he coached. She reared up a little and balanced herself to sit more upright, but found that it was hard for her to keep going and still keep her balance. Anon held her hooves and placed them on his chest for balance. "Just hold still and let me." The suggestion seemed to please her.

His his hands free, he was able to hold her flanks and help support her weight, giving his hips room to thrust up into her. Just like trying to tickle one's self, the sensation changed once she was no longer in control. Her entire demeanor changed from bored to a mixture of scared and excited. And her sitting upright gave Anon the perfect angle to thrust inside her and hit her g-spot.

Her hooves went weak and she wanted to collapse forward on top of him. But Anon slid his hands up along her body to steady her midsection for balance without relenting with his hips. Her muscles trembled so slightly it was barely a shiver. Anon had experienced such a wide variety of mare climaxes, some being literally earth-shaking.

But the small squeeze her pussy gave his dick almost escaped his notice, were it not punctuated by the little squeaking noises she made. She didn't gush or squirt dramatically. She just got a bit more juicy, making their hip smack together with wet slaps. The room smelled of estrus the moment he walked in, but now they were practically swimming in a miasma of it.

Limestone leaned against the basement doorway, wearing an indignant expression on her face as she tried to pretend like she wasn't watching while she shifted her thighs together. Pinkie Pie lacked any such subtlety, sitting crouched at the end of the cot and staring intently at where Anon's glistening dick was sliding in and out of Marble's pussy.

"You did it Marble!" Pinkie cheered.

"Mhmm!"

"Congratulations," Maud said.

"Great. Now wrap it up so I can have my turn with him!" Limestone barked.

"Oh, he's just getting started!" Pinkie said. "Isn't that right?"

"Can't she get her own stallion?" Anon asked.

"I don't know," Pinkie Pie teased as she looked at Limestone. "Can you?"

"I can get any stallion I want. I just don't because stallions are useless. I've never had one able to get me off."

Anon relaxed his hands on Marble's sides and finally left her flop on top of him while he continued to gently fuck her. She practically purred as she nuzzled her cheek against his. He normally made a point of keeping his vocation professional. He was unaccustomed to such sudden intimacy. He reached up to shift her shoulders away but she melted into what she took to be a hug. He couldn't imagine a sister of Pinkie Pie being touch-starved. But having experienced Pinkie's "hugs" himself, he could understand the mixture of dread associated with them. He held her and moved his hands up along her back to run his fingers through her mane. She whimpered and her entire body shuddered even harder. Fresh warmth from her dribbled down his balls as she came again.

"That's it!" Limestone shouted as she finished adjusting her straps. "I'm done being patient!" She stormed over and practically body-checked Marble off of Anon.

"Hey!" Anon shouted.

"It's my turn!" Limestone growled, brandishing her strap-on.

Anon got to his feet immediately. "Marble, are you okay?"

"Mhmm."

He turned and faced Limestone. The low ceiling of the basement was just barely high enough to keep from from hitting his head. He towered over her.

"Do you always bully your sister this much!?" he asked.

"Only when she's awake," Maud said, getting a giggle from Pinkie.

"Apologize to her!" Anon demanded.

"I'm not apologizing for shit!" Limestone barked. "This is my farm. I've been running it for years. I make the rules. So you can go fuck yourself. Or even better, I can do it! Now bend over!"

Anon was never one to get into a physical altercation with a lady. But Limestone no longer qualified for the title. In a flash he grabbed a fist full of her mane. She yelped out a high pitch noise, which he expected, but it was most definitely a moan.

"APOLOGIZE TO HER!" Anon's commanding voice boomed in the small room. One could have mistaken Anon for using unicorn magic to pull Limestone's tail up for how fast and how high she flagged it.

"Ooh! Nopony has ever scolded Limey like that since Dad died," Pinkie said.

A massive puzzle piece fell into place. He twisted his wrist to tighten his grip on her mane to pull her head back and whispered into her ear. "I know what you are, Lime. I've met enough girl-boss bullies just like you. You think you're so tough on the outside. You want to be that dominatrix that you pretend you are in your mind. But deep down you're still just a little daddy's-girl that craves discipline."

Anon's free hand unclasped the strap-on harness, letting it fall off her. He gave her tail a firm tug, making her knees practically buckle as her clitoris winked. He cupped her vulva with his hand, feeling how wet she had gotten. He slipped a couple fingers inside, wasting no time to hit her g-spot aggressively. He kept massaging her clit with his thumb, feeling her getting even wetter, but even with three fingers blasting her, she was stubbornly holding out.

His thumb joined the rest of his fingers as he worked his hand inside her stretched pussy and balling his hand into a fist. "Is that enough for you?" he asked.

"Shut up!" she tried to sound tough, but her tone fell hollow in a moan and he started fisting her. "You're just... some... stupid monkey!"

"I have a name. Say my name!" he said as he fisted her faster. "Say it!"

Limestone just growled in defiance.

"My name is Anon! And you, are a very. Naughty. FILLY!" He pulled his hand out of her pussy gave her flank a very hard, wet slap.

"~DADDY~!" Limestone cried out as she came hard. Her knees actually buckled as she squirted thick jets on the dirt floor, gushing enough to make a puddle marecum mud.

"I'm not going to read into that too much..." Anon practically had to carry Limestone, over to Marble. "Now apologize!"

"M'sorry Merble," Limestone slurred.

"Do you accept her apology?" Anon asked Marble.

"Mhmm."

Anon set Limestone down next to the cot and Pinkie Pie practically tackled him. "Me next! ME NEXT!" He landed on the hay mattress and she pounced into his lap like a giant, pink cat. "I am so bucking ready!"

"Okay, uh, so are you sure your husband would be okay with this?" Anon asked.

"Maud and Mud Briar are strictly monogamous. But I have a very high drive," Pinkie explained. "So Cheese and I have a kinda open thing. Limey's right. He appreciates a break every now and then."

"Okay then... so how do you want me to-" Anon was cut off by the noise of a loud crash. He looked behind them at Maud throwing a brick into the washing machine strapped to the stone stallion statue. She lifted the hem of her frock and backed herself up onto the course, cement shaft, getting the full length of it inside her pussy.

"Farm girls make do," Maud explained, before turning the machine on to spin-cycle.

"What the fuck!?" he recoiled in horror as the entire assemble shook so violently around, and inside her, that he was certain that he was going to have to take her to the hospital with a shattered pelvis. But she just rode it with about as much excitement as riding an escalator.

"That!" Pinkie said, pointing at Maud getting absolutely wrecked but the infernal contraption. "I want you to do that, Anon!" She wiggled her rump insistently.

"I can't do that!" he said.

"Can't? Or won't?" she asked.

"Either!? Both!?"

She squirmed in his lap in growing frustration. "Don't do that. Don't treat me like I'm made of glass! Cheese used to do it right, but ever since we had Lil Cheese he's too scared to be rough anymore, and it makes it hard for me to get off!"

Anon lifted her tail and ran his fingers along the middle of her puffy, pink pussy. He found that she was already plenty wet and he was able to easily get a few fingers started inside her. "Okay, I can be a little rough, but..." Anon looked at Maud riding a magnitude-9 earthquake behind them. "But not that."

She purred as he got four fingers in and played his thumb on her clitoris. "You're such a tease!" The muscles of her pussy flexed and squeezed around his fingers as he played with her some more. "You don't have to go slow. It's practically bubble yum by now." As strong as her vaginal muscles felt, she actually was quite stretchy, and he was able to add his thumb and get in up to his wrist with relative ease. "Don't keep me waiting!"

Anon made short piston motions with his forearm, watching with morbid fascination just how fast her pussy seemed intent to swallow it until the knuckles of his fist bottomed out inside her. He got straight away to his task, working the length of his arm in and out of her.

"Faster!" she demanded, looking over at Maud. "Like that! HARDER!"

"P-Pinkie, are you sur-?"

"HARDER!!"

"OK..."

Anon pulled his arm out a bit further and shoved it back in harder each time. If this mare really wanted him to find her limit, he was going to show it to her. He had to hold her in place with his free hand to keep her from getting fisted right off his lap. He kept expecting her to suddenly yelp in pain and scream for him to stop, but it never came. In fact the harder he went, the more she seemed to be enjoying it. Her face was flushed and she was panting. He was almost punching her and her tongue just lolled out in a goofy grin.

He went just a bit too deep and hit her cervix. That would do it.

She yelped, but just moaned louder and pushed herself back harder against his fist, making him hit it more. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" She propped herself up. "Marble, look it, look it!" Pinkie Pie's prehensile tail wrapped around Anon's upper arm and pulled him inside even harder, making a bulge appear in her abdomen. Pinkie reached out to hug Limestone, and her tail pulled his arm in again, making her stomach punch Limestone's stomach. "He he!"

Anon was helpless to stop her from dragging him around, elbow-deep inside her. "What is wrong with you!?"

"A lot," Maud said with zero self-awareness.

"Ooh! OOH! It's gonna happen!" Pinkie squealed. "I can feel it coming, it's gonna happen! Flip me over!" Pinkie practically suplexed Anon, forcing him to flip over along with her as she flopped onto her back in the cot. Anon recovered as fast as he could, but not fast enough. "Don't pussy out now! GO GO GO!"

Anon was getting genuinely irritated with her. He adjusted his stance to really punch her. Really punch her. He was trying to win a title fight with her uterus and she was ~loving~ it! "Yes. Yes! YES! YES!" Her legs clamped together on him and then kicked apart with a single, powerful flex of her vaginal muscles that ejected his whole arm like a cannon ball, launching him across the small room, followed by a shower of confetti.

Anon slumped against the wall and panted. "Okay, yeah. I can see why Cheese would want a break from that."

"ARGH! It got in my mouth! PTFF!" Limestone spat out the bits of colorful paper.

After the ordeal with Pinkie Pie, Anon was able to finish what he started with Marble while Limestone waited patiently. He rubbed Marble's back while they had refreshingly gentle intercourse without feeling the need to rush. He took his time with her, letting her feel comfortable enough to cum again a couple more times. She just cooed and purred, enjoying his tender touch as he gave her ear scritches. But all good things must come to an end.

"Is my good filly ready for a nice little creampie?" he asked.

"Mhmm!"

Anon grabbed her hips and gave her a few last good thrusts before he came inside her as deep as he could. "And... there we go. Now doesn't that feel better?"

"Mhmm!"

Limestone cleared her throat.

"Okay. Remember what we talk about sharing?"

"Mhmm."

"Okay Lime, get up here," Anon directed. Limestone got on the cot and laid down. Marble climbed over her and squatted while Anon stretched open Limestone's pussy, letting part of Marble's creampie drip in, making sure she got a dose of male-jam to quell her heat as well. "Now what do we say?"

Limestone grumbled, but she could feel the ache of her heat melting away. "Thank you, Marble."

The pervasive noise in the room fell silent as the washing machine motor finally burned out.

"I have climaxed," Maud said, extricating herself from the statue's shaft. She walked over and took Anon's hands with her hooves before squatting over them. "Your massage stones are ready." With a small grunt, about a dozen freshly-polished rocks slid out of her rock-tumbler vagina into his waiting hands.

Anon looked at the stones. "Oh. So that's where those come from."

Author's Note

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