Twilight yawns. A new day, a new book to read. She had a book on physics next on her queue, related to her latest read on how pegasi-

"Uh, hey! Where's the faid station?!" James calls out, worried. "This 'un might be dead," He pokes the fainted mare on his back

Twilight gasps, running outside. Wasn't that James' voice? Did that mean that the others would be here too?!

"I had no hand in this! I swear!" A new voice calls out. It sounds familiar... "Well, an unintentional hand, but…" Of course! The grey one!

Twilight sees James and the 'thing' outside her library. The thing held Dash on his back, and they came from the direction of Dash's house, so…

"Wait! Aren't you supposed to be locked up?!" Twilight asks, pointing a hoof at Hans.

Both stallions turn to Twilight. "Na, he's good," James casually comments. "Anywa-"

"What do you mean?!" Twilight shouts. "He did all of… that!"

"I mean- hey, this one might be dying! I don't think she's breathing!" James points a hoof at Dash, worry taking over. Twilight teleports them to the hospital with a spark of her horn. "Many thanks. Now, I meant-"

"Uhoh! Dash doesn't look fine!" A worried Pinkie says. "Hey, I should get the others for a party! A 'Please-start-breathing-Dash' party!" With that, Pinkie ran off, calling for her friends.

"Huh… anyways, as I wa-"

"Save it for all of us," Twilight snaps. By now, nurses had taken Dash to a room and started to check for vitals. James and Hans take a seat, James opening another bottle as Hans looks worried.

The three didn't wait long. One by one, the other elements came in. Rarity was first, being closest to the hospital.

"Oh my! What ha-". She begins frantically.

"Wait a minute," Twilight says angrily. Rarity, taken aback, retreats a step, then takes a place at Twilight's side. "These two will explain when AJ, Flutters and Pinkie are here,"

"My word," Rarity mutters. "The two from the trial?"

"Indeed,"

Not quite 3 minutes later, Fluttershy comes stumbling in, tears streaming down her face. "R-rainbow?!" She asks frantically. "Where are you?!"

"In a room, dear," Rarity says, moving to comfort her. "She'll be fi-"

"D-dashie can't leave!" Fluttershy sinks into her friend, not caring who knows her feelings for once.

"She'll be fine," Rarity murmurs. The two take seats as they sit down. About ten minutes later, Fluttershy has cleaned up her act as Applejack and Pinkie come in.

"Now, what in the Celestiah damned Tartarus happened to Dash?" Applejack asks. Twilight gives her a glare, immediately silencing her.

"Now, James," Twilight introduces James to the 4 elements. "And… this thing… will tell us, won't you?" The group looks expectantly.

"Ok, so I had trouble sleeping last night, right?" A worried look from Twilight. "Well, I did. And who do I stumble upon but Hans?! Why, he even has a pack of the booze we doughs love!" James starts.

"Ja, that is some go-" Hans starts.

"Quiet!" Twilight snarls, making Hans lean back.

"Oi, don't go being all bitchy to Hans. It ain't his fault," James protests.

"What?" Twilight asks, confused. "You saw what he did! You were the one there!"

"Yeah, and so?" James takes another swig. "I also know that humans have a reason to take a life. Fuckin Goebbels and his propaganda…"

"The propa-whatnow?" Applejack asks, mirrored by three other elements.

"Propaganda… that does make sense," Twilight says. Turning to her friends, she says "Essentially brainwashing foals into beliefs you want them to hold,"

"Ja. My blood family was anti-Hitler, and I looked down on them for that. God… Now, though, now that I've seen what I have been told… it makes me not so happy,"

"Ok, nice backstory, but when did you hurt Dashie?!" Fluttershy demands, surprising her friends.

"Oh, that 'un? She got a few sips of my 'magohol'." A chuckle. "How'da like the name?"

"What is that?" Twilight asks, curious. It was new information, and everyone seemed fine, so...

"Alcoholic liquid, ideally vodka, with a little teeny eensy little bit of coke," James smiles. "Fuckin good, too,"

"So…" Twilight asks, not knowing what coke is.

"Coke is, well, rather strong, mind altering drug… you see-?" Hans sighs at being interrupted yet again.

"30% alcohol, 60% low-alch vodka - only thing that's good for - and 10% coke!" James shouts triumphantly. "Man, I love new bodies!"

"So… Dash-"

"Took a few swigs of his drink," Hans says. "Then, she promptly passed out or died! We don't know which!" The two stallions break out in laughter. "Quite frankly, I must sa-"

"How are you taking this so lightly?!?!" Fluttershy nearly shrieks. The stallions, and the other ponies present, got deathly quiet for a moment. "Well?!"

"Eh, you see-"

"Because I saw friends get cut down by machine guns," James' voice replaces the void, though the cold and emotionless voice isn't much better. "Often multiple good friends a minute. Artillery tore 'em to pieces, tanks ran 'em over, poor conscripts and fucking SS bastards shot 'em… I couldn't freeze each time one died. Not if I like my head on my body!" Tears start rolling down James' cheeks. "So, I'm sorry, miss 'oh no a friend got hurt', that I liked my fucking life!" Regaining his composure, James turns away from the group.

"...he is right, although I wouldn't have been quite as blunt…" Hans winces. "I hate planes…"

"AJ?! Tell me that they're lying!" Fluttershy begged, tears streaming from her eyes. Poor things...

"I wouldn't be honest if I did…" Apejack says, shaken.

Fluttershy passes out, making a loud bang. Twilight picks her up. "Well… that was-"

"Something new, yet it had to be brought to your attention, no?" Hans says reassuringly.

"Yeah, I suppose…"

A doctor walks up to the group. "Now that… that is over, I am pleased to inform you that Rainbow Dash will live…"

"See? Nothing ba-" James starts.

"...but she might be mentally handicapped,"

"Ah… huh. That's good,"

"What?" Rarity shouts. "That… excuse me darling, but what are you saying?!"

"She isn't dead," Hans butts in. "Plus, you have magic, no?"

"It's… not that simple," Twilight adds.

"Meh, what happened happened, and it sure as hell ain't happening again, so we're all fine," James finishes his bottle. "Damn, I wonder if the regular version has this effect. Well have to see, eh?" The stallions get up in synch. "Well, g'night y'all,"

"I…" James and Hans are already gone. "Well, we'll see Dash tomorrow," The four conscious mares leave slowly, debates raging in their heads. It was a long night for them.

MORNING AFTER, 10 AM

Twilight and Trixie approach the building. "Oh, Trixie doesn't want Dash dead, even if Dash wanted her gone…"

"Hey, I'm here to see Dash, ok? You can stay behind if you wish," Shaking her head, Trixie follows Twilight inside.

"...Yeah, that doc wasn't very good, even at savin our lives." Twilight looks surprised that the stallions are already there, and look as if they have been for a while. "Don't know why we kept 'im. God, I hate hangovers,"

"God? Who's that?" Twilight asks, suddenly in study mode. Pressing further and moving closer she asks "Is God like Celestia? Is he a figurehead? Is he-"

"Oi, please shut up," James groans. Twilight looks taken aback. "Head hurt. I'm gonna go puke now,"

"Hey," Hans says, causing James to look up. "Go hit Yankee, hear me?" Maybe the wrong choice of words… No matter his internal dialogue, a grin plasters his face. Soon enough, both stallions are laughing, then wincing. "Oh shit, that hurts…"

"Yeah igottagopukenowbye!" James runs down the hallway.

"...Trixie does not like these two," Trixie adds.

"Eh, what can I say that hasn't been said, voodoo blue child." Hans sighs. "Or is it blue voodoo child? I'm not sure, and my head hu-" he stops talking upon seeing a visibly down Trixie. "Oh, problem with your magic, huh? I hate magicians. Last one I knew killed my fa-"

"Will you shut up?!" Twilight shouts, anger washing over her in a wave. "She's clearly troubled! Stop being an asshole!"

"...She'll get over it," Hans states, stealing a drink from James' bottle.

"T-trixie knows he's right, Twilight," Trixie starts. "Trixie is a wo-" a bright flash of purple meant Trixie was gone, placed with the Mi Amores.

"Ok, you shit," Twilight seethes. "I want to know why?! You can see she's clearly-"

"Weak? That's all depression is," Hans says, sneering. "That's wha-"

"Aaaaaaaand propaganda!" James adds in, having a clearer stomach. "Mental condition, buddy! Not something you can shrug off unless you get lobotomized,"

"I really messed up, eh?" Hans sighs. "... I hate Hitler,"

"Welcome to the US of A, buddy,"

"Well, purple voodoo pony, I need to apo-" A slap cuts Hans off. "Ow," he winces.

"Don't call it voodoo, it's magic!" Twilight shouts in anger.

"...Ya know, Otto wanted to be a magician,"

James winces. "Oh, I see… do call it magic though,"

"Otto ended up doing voodoo. I've connected the two, so I'm sorry if I appear inconsiderate," James looks relieved.

"I… uh, why must you have a good reason to forgive you?! I must go now," Twilight leaves in a purple flash.

"Uhh… so, wanna tell me more about your education?" The two stallions spend the remaining time before visitors are allowed in discussing Germany's education. "Really? Deutchesphysics? Fuckin idiots,"

Author's Note

Oof. Crack.

Pressure is a very bad thing. Cracking while cracked from crack is even worse. Especially when on a crack with a crack in a crack house.