Ponylands - Anarchy Reigns

by Leonnidus454

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Adventure, Sex, Profanity, Gore, Violence, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Science Fiction, Comedy
Length: 3499

When a mix-up from a criminal transport caused the solar system's most wanted criminals to land on Equestria, instead of a uninhabited planet. Equestria must ask the help of an Ex-Vault Hunter, thing is they're not sure if they can even trust him.

Borderlands Crossover.

Set 14 years after the events of Borderlands 3. The Alcatraz, a space transport ship carrying trillions of the most wanted criminals from every planet and moon in the solar system with the sole objective to dump them all on a distant and supposedly uninhabited planet, named Canayona, far from the other colonized planets. One of which was an Ex-Vault Hunter, who basically said 'fuck it' after the last Vault was found and looted and started doing whatever the hell he pleased or was paid to do before he was captured.

The ship arrived at a planet but found out that they were at the wrong one due to a minor malfunction from an outdated mapping system. But before they could leave The Alcatraz's engines began to both, run low on fuel and had minor damage that would cripple the ship in the long run, even worse with the hundreds, almost million, of prisoners on board. They had no other option but to have the prisoners, vehicles, and the armory containers jettisoned onto the planet and leave for repairs and refueling. The containers landed on the planet and The Alcatraz left. Where they began to wreak havoc and completely unsupervised, some even forming gangs and traveling out of the desert to where there were living beings.

The planet was called, Equestria, which was inhabited by many different species. All of which have never known true war like the ones these criminals have started and ended. Meanwhile, the Ex-Vault Hunter's special made containment pod was sent off course from some psychos using their container like a bumper car. Landing in Sweet Apple Acres. Now the Equestrians have someone who was used to bloodshed on a massive scale, but the question is, are they willing to let him do it?

Published 2020-10-05 02:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-05 02:00:00 UTC

Chapter 1: Released From Containment

Out in the farthest reaches of space. Space-time bent for a second before a large Arctic blue camouflage space freighter appeared almost instantaneously. It had the Dahl logo on the sides, several large metal boxes. Which was held by an equal number of tractor beams. Inside the crew was hard at work, some checking the status of the containers and others fixing different monitors that were used for the first thing.

“Damn those big-pocket suits. Don’t they know what we’re carrying? We carry hundreds, maybe thousands, of the most wanted criminals, and weapons and vehicles ranging from outdated to state of the art! You’d think they’d give us a state of the art space freighter, instead of this old outdated rustbucket-” The captain of the ship kicked the crewmate’s foot.

“Less complaining, more fixing, we’re still on a schedule tighter than a nun's asshole and we’ve got no time to waste. We need all The Alcatraz’s systems online until we land on Canayona!” The captain said.

“Yessir.” The crew groaned out. A moment later, a message notification came through, when the captain answered it. A video feed of a CL4P-TP, or Claptrap, unit on the top of the ship came through.

“Sir, I have good news, bad news, and… terrible news.” Claptrap stated.

“The good news?” The captain asked.

“Well, the ECHOnet Containment Units and their tractor beam systems are fully operational! No prisoner will be getting loose any time soon, not that they could get free. Being digitized and trapped in a virtual prison and all,” Claptrap answered. “You have to wonder what sort of horrible experiments those scientists at Canayona will be doing to them. But they are going to need all these amazing gear vehicles to handle them all-”

“Claptrap.”

“Yes sir?”

“How’s our special prisoner?” The captain asked.

Claptrap looked behind him, where a cryo-pod with someone frozen inside was magnetically latched onto The Alcatraz. “Still there and still frozen!” Claptrap replied. On the back of the cryo-pod, one of the magnetic latches was broken.

“Alright, what’s the bad news?” The captain asked.

“Well, it seems the engines have been leaking fuel and some bolts have come loose so we might want to land on Canayona quickly.” Claptrap answered.

“Oh, come the fuck on!” One of the crewmates yelled.

“So what’s the terrible news?”

Claptrap turned the camera around and showed a planet that was obviously full of greenery.

“Now, I know I wasn’t at the briefing about Canayona, but I’m pretty sure Canayona was a desolate wasteland with no life or plants on it whatsoever, so I think we’re at the wrong place.” Claptrap stated.

“What!?” The entire crew yelled. Then the crewmate that was complaining about the ship finally finished what he was repairing and a few computers came back online. Each showing the Navigation system and that they were pretty far from Canayona and there wasn’t any info on what planet they did show up at.

“Damnit! Someone get the warp drive we’re going to have to make another warp jump!” The captain yelled, but when the crew started up the warp drive, the computers let out a loud beep and showed an error screen. “What happened!?” The captain yelled.

“Sir, it seems we’re low on energy and we can’t warp due to our load, the only way we’re making a jump like that is if we dump some weight. Although I’m not sure how…” A crewmate replied.

“The Grav Generator is an outdated model. It’s been affecting the outside of the ship, giving the ship a gravitational field, strong enough that I’m able to stay on this thing and to give our cargo some weight, in turn causing our weight problem,” Claptrap responded.

The captain rubbed his chin then said, “Have the containers jettisoned. We need repairs and we have no time to waste. We can just come back to the planet after the ship is in proper condition to complete the mission properly.”

“Yes sir!” The crew yelled then some began typing on the computers and the tractor beams let out a short burst, launching the ECHO Containment Units down to the planet below. Claptrap was about to re-enter the ship when he was smacked in the face by a small space rock, knocking him into the cryo-pod, and causing the latches to break.

“Oh... No…” Claptrap said before the ship blasted off, bending time and space, sending the cryo-pod and Claptrap flying down to the planet. Claptrap screamed his non-existent head off as they hit terminal velocity.

It was a stormy night in Equestria, a complete downpour. The raindrops were very heavy, and the lightning and thunder were near-constant. In the Sweet Apple Acres barn, the CMC was, in a way, camping, using a wood-burning heater to cook carrots, lettuce, and other veggies while under a blanket and sitting on a hay bed.

Applebloom, the second tallest standing 4'8, had a growing muscular body and a somewhat developed AA-cup bust. Her attire consisted of a bright golden blouse with blue overalls, a black barrette with a red ribbon, and a white and green shoes.

Sweetie Belle, the second shortest standing 4'6, had a growing smooth curvy apple-shaped figure with a well developed AAA-cup bust. Her attire consisted of a lavender blouse with a matching skirt, knee socks, and shoes.

Scootaloo, the shortest standing 4'5, had a slim athlete's body with an underdeveloped small A-Cup bust. Her attire consisted of blue jeans, blue running shoes, and a white sleeveless shirt with cloud patterns under a sleeveless jacket.

Babs, the tallest standing 4'10, had a toned athlete's body with a growing AA-Cup bust. Her attire consisted of a black shirt and blue shorts, grey sneakers, and well as fingerless sports gloves.

Cutie Mark Crusaders...
Will try anything if might get them a butt mark

“I’m amazed your sister let you have this little camp-out with this storm,” Scootaloo said through a mouthful of lettuce.

Applebloom sighed, “She didn’t, Big Mac allowed it against what AJ wanted.”

“Makes sense, Applejack always was protective of you,” Babs stated, then she noticed Sweetie Belle was reading a book. “What are you reading over there?” She asked.

“A book about space! Did you know there are about 88 constellations and Princess Luna has no control over the stars that make them up!? And that it’s possible that there is alien life out in the deeper reaches of space!?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Okay, Mini-Twilight, calm down,” Scootaloo ordered with a snicker, causing Sweetie Belle to blush in embarrassment.

“Yeah, you can believe what you want but the only way you’ll get any one of us to believe in aliens is if one comes crashing through the roof of this barn,” Babs said.

Suddenly everything began to shake, before cryo-pod crashed through the roof of the barn, followed by Claptrap. Said robot got tangled in rope and was left dangling from the beams above. “Believe now?” Sweetie asked, only getting a trio of nods as a response.

“Gah, get me down! Get me down!” Claptrap yelled, struggling in the ropes.

Scootaloo’s eyes shone with interested glee. “Woah, a robot!”

“Huh? Oh, hello! My name is CL4P-TP, you may call me by my locally designated name ‘Claptrap’.” Claptrap stated. “Now, could I get some assistance? I can feel the oil leaking into the top part of my body.”

Babs grabbed a throwing ax off a nearby rack of tools and threw it at the ropes around the beam, slicing through the ropes and causing Claptrap to fall. “AAAAHHHHH- OW! Thank you!” Suddenly the barn door was kicked open, and Applejack and Big Mac came through.

Applejack, standing at 7'1, had a very muscular body, her mane, and tail with both being tied off by red bands. Her attire is an open red plaid shirt showing off her G-cup bust, blue jean overalls hugging her body showing her toned curves and big thick flank, an old brown stetson hat resting atop her head, and light brown Cowgirl Boots.

Applejack as… The Element of Honesty
Her kicks are almost as hard as her stubbornness

Big Mac, standing at 8’2, had a very muscular body, larger than AJ in fact. His attire was a green button-up shirt, blue jeans with holes in the knees, and cowboy boots. Unlike his sister, Big Mac’s attire hid a majority of his body.

Big Macintosh
Eeyup...

“Girls, pack it up, you’re going into the MSB-” Applejack stopped mid-sentence when she saw Claptrap and the cryo-pod. “What in the hay are those things?!”

“Hello! My name is CL4P-TP, you may call me by my locally designated name ‘Claptrap’.” Claptrap repeated, happily waving at her.

“Why’d you say that whole thing a second time?” Babs asked.

“I am programmed to repeat that phrase every time someone asks who I am.” Claptrap stated cheerily.

“Well, this is Claptrap, he’s a robot from outer space, and I don't know about the metal looking thing over there,” Scootaloo answered.

“Well, get away from it!” Applejack yelled.

“There is no need to worry, I am purposefully built to be completely harmless unless I have a weapon! Which I do not. As for the cryogenic chamber pod, it houses a dangerous criminal, but as long as the pod’s systems continue to function properly they should remain asleep.” Claptrap answered. “You see, I fell from a prisoner transport ship that had made a mistake and ended up at your planet! Not only that, the ECHOnet Containment Units which were carrying hundreds, maybe thousands, of the galaxy’s most dangerous criminals, as well as weapons and vehicles, all of which have been dropped on this very planet! Also, what’s an MSB?”

“MSB stands for Mating Season Bunker. Mares around these parts tend to get crazy during mating season and with the Mare to Stallion ratio being 4 to 1, some unlucky souls get put in the hospital after mating season, even had a few deaths a few years ago. So the MSB was created for Stallions to hide in. Not even the three princesses working together can break into one.” Big Mac answered gruffly, crossing his arms.

Babs whispered to Applebloom, “I think that’s the most I’ve heard your brother say.” All Applebloom could do was nod in agreement.

“Well, one of those criminal containment units of yours landed in Ponyville and those darn bandits are wreaking havoc with some weird weapons! Ponies are hiding in their MSBs, so nopony is hurt but those bandits are destroying the town!” Applejack yelled. “So we need to get into the MSB before they get here!”

“Too late.” A male voice behind the two said.

AJ and Big Mac moved to glance back before Big Mac was suddenly shot in the shoulder by a Bandit.

He was also holding a Jakobs revolver. Claptrap screamed and hid behind the cryo-pod.

“Mac! You son of a bitch!” Applejack yelled before kicking the Bandit, but a cyan energy barrier appeared along the Bandit’s body before her kick could connect.

The Bandit then bashed the butt of his revolver against AJ’s nose, breaking it and causing her to fall to the ground. “Guess I should’ve expected a dumb country hick like you to make a stupid choice like that.”

“What the hay is that thing in that other thing’s hand?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“A Jakobs revolver! Nothing matches a Jakobs for sheer power. Remember, if it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs! As for what a gun is, think of it like a small cannon that you hold in your hand and aim at your enemies!” Claptrap stated, before going back into cowering when the Bandit looked their way.

The Bandit then walked toward the CMC. “We’ve already had those wimps back at that town cowering in their bunkers! We even cut the arm off of some rainbow-haired bitch that got brave! I didn’t see it but I heard the boss yell something like that before I heard her screams. Now, what should I do with you four? Think after I set this apple farm ablaze, I’ll put you four up against our Skags just to see what kinda money I’ll make.”

Applejack grabbed the Bandit’s leg, the energy barrier appeared again when she did. “You're not harming them or my farm!”

“Oh yeah? How the hell is some country dumbfuck like you gonna stop me?” The Bandit yelled before shooting her in the back three times.

“So you're the boss of this farm?” Another young male voice asked. Everyone in the barn looked to see another male sitting in a pile of apple cores. Claptrap looked at the cryo-pod and not only was it at a little below room temperature, but it was also empty.

“Gah! The Ex-Vault Hunter! When did you get out?!” Claptrap yelled.

“Around the time you fell from the raptors of the barn, the heat from our entry thawed me out. You see, I was starving, which is what the po-po used to capture me, and I was still starving when I thawed out, so I helped myself to about 30 or more bushels of apples.” The Ex-Vault Hunter said, tossing an apple core aside. “Now, I may be a wanted criminal but I’m not one to skip out on a bill, so until my debt is paid off, I work for you, Miss. So, just say the word and this fuck head is dead.”

The bandit aimed his revolver at the young man and yelled, “Don’t get cocky, I’m the one with the gun!”

“Well, I was never one to use a gun, I prefer something… sharper..” the Ex-Vault Hunter stated, narrowing his eyes.

The bandit scoffed and then took aim at the CMC, Applejack’s eyes widened and she yelled, “Do whatever it takes to keep them safe!”

The young man suddenly created a sonic boom when he rocketed from his sitting spot, leaving arcs of electricity in his path. The Bandit tried to aim at him but the Ex-Vault Hunter was weaving back and forth across the barn faster than the Bandit could track. The young man then pulled out something as he quick-stepped in front of the Bandit. Then in a quick flash of light, the Ex-Vault Hunter was suddenly behind the Bandit, who’s arm and head were flying, severed from the main body.

“Woah, I couldn’t even keep up with that…” Babs muttered, slightly in fear from the Ex-Vault Hunter’s speed and brutality.

The clouds began to part as the storm had stopped, the light from the moon revealed a young man with an athletic build, medium-length blonde hair, & blue eyes. He wears three layers, a red jacket on top, a black hoodie in the middle & a white sleeveless zip-up shirt underneath. He also wears somewhat baggy black cargo pants and black combat boots. He was holding a beam katana, which had an extendable pole that held the two end parts of the beam “blade” and a transformer near the button. It also had a blade attachment in the form of a pointed spike.

“I should introduce myself, my name's Jaxsin Rubi. They aren’t spelled the way they sound because my parents were dumbasses. I’m also known as Jack… Jack the Ripper.” Jaxsin said.

Jaxsin “Jack” Rubi as… The Ripper
Beam katanas

Jaxsin then searched the Bandit’s corpse and pulled out a large syringe with a large glass barrel and hub, a metal grip plunger, and a large needle.

Jaxsin heard some clamoring and saw that the CMC had bolted to the back of the barn. “Stay away with that!” Babs said, now holding a throwing ax in fear of the large syringe in Jaxsin’s hand.

“Calm down. It’s not for you,” Jaxsin stated then he pointed at AJ, “It’s for her.”

Jaxsin then stabbed Applejack with the syringe and squeezed the grip plunger. “GAH!! WHAT THE HAY, DID YOU DO THAT… For…” Applejack slowly began to realize that her broken nose was slowly fixing itself and the bullet wounds in her back were also fixing themselves and even spat out the bullets. “What the hay was in that?!”

“I dunno, why are you censoring yourself?” Jaxsin said.

Claptrap came out of hiding and stated, “Death your fate? Rejuvenate with Rejuvenator from the brilliant minds of Anshin! Turn many minor and major injuries into a thing of the past! Warning: don’t use Rejuvenator while pregnant and/or if you have the common cold, flu, or any form of sickness.”

Big Mac flinched from his injury and asked, “Can I get one?”

“You can get one from the other Bandit. Jack and I are going to save Ponyville!” Applejack stated. Claptrap and Jaxsin looked at each other then began laughing their heads off. “What's so funny?!” Applejack asked.

“Sorry, it’s just… You!? A Lv. 6? Fighting against an army of people around Lv. 50?! You’d end up dead from one of them just sneezing in your general direction!” Jaxsin stated with a laugh, confusing the ponies.

“What the hay are you talking about?” Applejack asked.

“Should’ve guessed you wouldn’t know about Levels or EXP. CL4P-TP, give these ponies the rundown, I’m gonna go kill some bitches.” Jaxsin said before leaving the barn and heading toward Ponyville, twirling his blade.

“Okay! To quickly sum up what Level and EXP, has anyone here played Bunkers & Badasses? If not, then some form of a tabletop role-playing game?” Claptrap asked; Big Mac slowly raised his hand.

“I think I can say for the girls here, that we’ve heard about a game called Oubliettes & Ogres, and those Levels and EXP from that, but never played it,” Applejack said, getting a quintet of nods from the CMC.

“Well, to quickly sum it up. The Dahl corporation discovered an invisible energy dubbed EXP, that is produced from two actions, completing tasks dubbed Missions and/or killing people.” The ponies flinched at Claptrap’s nonchalant mention of murder. “Through the usage of an ECHO Nite, a nano-machine version of an ECHO Device! One can instantly measure the ‘Levels’ of someone who has gained a lot or very little EXP! As well as measure their Health, or how much they can take before death, Ammo Reserves, remaining Shield Charge, and even store things in a digital space called Inventory! Be forewarned, that doing too much of one of the two actions will cause EXP potency to rapidly decrease like if you do nothing but Missions, you won’t make it past Lv. 8 at best!”

“Wow. So what’s the level of everypony here?” Babs asked.

Claptrap then said what their Levels were.

Applebloom: Lv. 2
Scootaloo: Lv. 1
Sweetie Belle: Lv. 1
Babs Seed: Lv. 2
Big Mac: Lv. 4
Applejack: Lv. 6
Claptrap: Lv. 45
Jaxsin “Jack” Rubi: Lv. 89

“Woah, you and Jaxsin must be really strong!” Scootaloo chirped.

“Given that info, if we tried to fight any of those criminals at the level we are, we’d get floored.” Big Mac said.

“You’re more talkative than normal,” Babs said.

“I’m distracting myself from the pain of the hole in my shoulder,” Big Mac stated, grimacing as he shifted his wounded shoulder a bit.

“Correct, but I’m not nearly strong enough to take on those villains, but Jack The Ripper is more than enough to kill them all.” Claptrap stated.

Applejack flinched from Claptrap’s nonchalant mention of murder again before saying, “Can’t he just spare them-”

“Nope!” Claptrap interrupted, “You’ve seen how these scum of the galaxy think. They’re violent, hateful, and downright insane! There’s no talking, there’s no reasoning, just killing. Kill them first or become a rotting corpse for the birds and bugs!”

“Alright, so what do you know about Jack?” AJ said.

“Other than the fact he’s a well-known murderer who hates using guns and prefers using beam katanas. Not much… Oh! He’s got nano-machines attached to each and every one of his blood cells!” Claptrap answered.

“That sounds painful,” Sweetie Belle said.

“It is! I wouldn’t be surprised if Jack was incomplete, unending, and excruciating agony!” Claptrap stated, still cheerful as ever.

With Jaxsin, he was dashing across the ground at high speeds, arcs of electricity jumping off his body with every step he made. He then jumped up to the top of a large boulder. Allowing him a complete view of Ponyville, which was currently in ruins. If it wasn’t just destroyed, it was burning. If it wasn’t burning, a bunch of bandits was beating at a bunker door with MSB painted on the front. If the bandits weren’t doing that, they were painting crude things on whatever little housing they had left standing and were now occupying.

Jaxsin chuckled to himself. “This is gonna be fun!” The Ex-Vault Hunter then readied his beam katana and jumped from the boulder and into town.

To Be Continued...