The crowd was wrapping up their cheers, but Vinyl Scratch wasn't done performing. As usual, she wasn't the star tonight. She was just here to provide music, invited to play for the Royal Magical Procession, an annual show put on in Los Pegasus to display the prowess of Equestria's most magically gifted unicorns. Twilight Sparkle stepped off of the stage. She had performed the finale, executing some of the most impressive acts of unicorn magic Vinyl had ever seen, and it was no wonder why. Twilight was the Princess' personal student, and made for quite a show. It was Vinyl's job then, along with a local DJ's, to provide ambiance, even if the show was technically over, until the guests had left.
“We make a pretty good team, you know, but usually in a collaboration like this, we'll mix our tracks,” Vinyl said to her partner. His stage name was “tmonet”, and when she turned to face him, it was the first good look of him she had gotten, as the lights had been dim, and she had kept herself busy through the night. He was a tall stallion, with light tan fur, and a dark brown mane. His cutiemark was a series of musical quavers. Interestingly, they were all of the same note. The lights above highlighted his perfect jawline and physique.
“Yeah, I don't really care about the melody, or rhythm, or composition, or anything dumb like that. I was just trying to make sure the production value was high,” Tony responded with a strong baritone, like diamond covered platinum chocolate to Vinyl's ears.
Vinyl realized she had hardly heard what he said, having been lost in his eyes. It was like peering into an ancient forest, empty of megafauna, tiny birds and squirrels skittering at the edge of vision the only animal life to be seen. The archaic redwoods reaching far into the sky, leaves out of sight, the deep brown drowning out her awareness. “...Oh, yeah. Well it worked out, tmonet,” she said, blushing.
“You can call me 'Tony'.” he said with a smile that sent Vinyl's heart aflutter. “Hey,” he continued, “want to go to the after party with me?”
Vinyl couldn't help but grack a smile back. “Yes,” was all she could say.
Vinyl was surprised to find that Celestia herself was in attendance at the after party, seated on the dais to one end of the hall. The party was held in the Red Hoof hotel's banquet room, not far from the Los Pegasus convention center where the main event took place. This was not the first time Vinyl had seen the Princess in person, but her supernatural stature, being tallest Pony in the land by a wide margin with only one exception; alicornic appearance, as one of very few unicorns with functioning pegasus wings; and hair, flowing where there is no breeze, colors defying reality; were always a marvel to behold.
She had apparently just finished a conversation with Twilight, who was now walking toward Vinyl and Tony.
“That was an awesome performance, Lady Sparkle,” said Vinyl, remembering that the last big gig she had gotten was the wedding of Sparkle's brother to Princess Cadance. Princess Cadance was thus Twilight's sister-in-law, making Twilight a princess-in-law, and Vinyl actually didn't know what that meant. She figured it was better to play it safe. She continued, “I've never seen the Ganbantei--”
“Oh my stars! Darling, your mane!” Rarity rudely cut in, looking straight at Vinyl. “What ever did--”
“No, shut the fuck up,” Tony interrupted, marginally less rudely than Rarity had a moment earlier. “No one gives a shit about your opinion, you stupid, materialistic, superficial cunt. Whore of a cunt. Vinyl's hair is non-trivially more attractive than yours. Seriously, it makes my dick hard, and nothing about you makes my dick hard. Not a single thing. And I definitely don't tell my friends about how hot you make me.”
Everypony in earshot just looked on, shocked. Vinyl could see that Rarity's friends felt they should make some kind of response, but knew deeply in their hearts that what Tony said was true. Apparently Rarity could see this too, and began to cry. Not a superficial, melodramatic cry that one might expect from the fashionable pony, but a deep, remorseful sobbing.
Pinkie Pie realized what was happening, and hopped between Tony and Rarity. “Hey! Fashion is her passion!”
“No,” said Tony, “Her passion is hurting other people's feelings in the middle of a large group of people. You would know a lot about that too, wouldn't, you Pinkie?”
Screams interrupted the discussion, before Pinkie could make a response to that sick burn. They were screams of terror, coming from the far end of the hall, in response to the intrusion of a large group of uniformed and heavily armed goats.
Strange as the sudden appearance of armed folk busting into a private party was, there was something stranger about them still: these were not the domesticated goats native to the lands of Equestria, meek and small. These were wild goats, as tall at the shoulders as an ordinary pony is at the top of the head, strangers to Vinyl's eyes. One of them stood out, with two massive horns that were twisted like drill bits, and a long beard. He was a bit taller than the goats around him, a monster, perhaps 11 hands at the withers, probably even taller than the Princess.
A representative of the intruders stepped to the front of the rest. He was well groomed, well dressed, and seemed a bit out of place in the presence of armed terrorists. He spoke to the ponies in attendance, “Keep your hooves on the floor, and slowly move to the edges of the room. I am Agent Youksh Rawache from Walia's Bureau of Justice. Under the authority of the League of Quadrupeds' security council, and by the power of the Capra Alliance's Attorney General, I am placing Princess Celestia of Equestria under arrest for Crimes against Animalia in violation of the Third Gaskin Convention and Gaskin Protocol--” He went on with the slight accent of someone born in another country that has since worked for years speaking the language of Equestria in formal occasions.
Vinyl thought she might have heard of Walia once or twice, but League of Quadrupeds? Caprid Alliance? Gaskin Convention? These terms were alien to Vinyl, every single one, and Crimes against Animalia? The Princess would never commit such an odious offense.
Tony could see the confusion and fear on Vinyl's face. He put a leg around her to comfort her and spoke quietly to explain, “These are caprids, mostly goats, from the Capra Alliance, which is a group of countries that make up most of the Bovidian continent, across the ocean east of Equestria.”
“I've never even heard of that place,” said Vinyl, incredulous.
“Most ponies haven't. All of the news papers are state run; all information available to you has come from the Equestrian government. The Princesses' propaganda machine is extensive. I only know this because I've got a friend in high places.”
“Why are they--” Vinyl stopped mid-sentence.
“Equestria's actions have been in the defense of every nation in the League of Quadrupeds, including those in the Capra Alliance, from the threat of terrorists,” responded Celestia in her Royal Canterlot voice, as Youksh finished explaining himself and his orders. Twilight and her friends ran to Celestia, Pinkie Pie carrying Rarity who was still bawling. Celestia continued, “Furthermore, Equestria has veto power on the LOQ security council. For that matter, the LOQ has no authority on Equestrian soil. Put down your weapons.” She immediately leaned down to Twilight and said something too quietly for Vinyl to make out. Two of the royal guardsmen opened a chest before Ponyville's famous six.
“Equestria was removed from the LOQ's security council. This building is surrounded, with LOQ and CA forces occupying a route to the port. You are heavily outnumbered in this room as well. To prevent the risk of harm to your own citizens and yourself, surrender.”
Princess Celestia's horn began to glow, her face holding a look of grim determination.
“Captain Halden!” Youksh shouted, apparently to the big caprid that Vinyl had noticed earlier with the twisted horns. Before Youksh had called for him though, Halden had already stepped in front of the rest of the caprids, his horns glowing brightly with the orange of a sunset sky. He was a coiled spring, staring intently at Celestia, with a look of anticipation.
A heart beat later, Celestia's spell turned her horn into a fount of destructive power, flowing forth in a spectacular golden beam. The brilliant attack illuminated the room, shining bright as the sun, as it thrust toward the intruders. All but two royal guardsmen charged forward alongside the beam to attack. The goats took a half step back and braced for impact. Vinyl could see the look of resigned fear in their eyes. The kind of fear a soldier has when he knows what's going to happen, can't do anything about it, but dreads it nonetheless.
Screams of terror erupted from the ponies once more. The beam of power had dissipated before reaching Halden, who stood before his comrades with confidence, his horns still glowing. Vinyl turned back to see that Celestia's horn was now covered in Halden's aura.
Vinyl had misinterpreted the look on the goats' faces. It wasn't fear. It was regret. Regret for the lives of ponies who they were about to end. Their half step back was not a brace for impact, but in readiness to charge forward once Celestia's attack had been nullified. The royal guardsmen were cut down summarily before laying a hoof on Halden, and the goat soldiers quickly moved forward in a cautious formation to secure the Princess. These goats were well organized and well trained.
“That 'Halden' is the only non-goat in the group other than Youksh. He's a markhor, the most skilled species of magic users in Bovidia,” Tony explained, still holding Vinyl close. “It seems Celestia underestimated him, thinking he wouldn't interrupt her attack in time.”
“I don't think she underestimated. I think she didn't know it was possible,” Vinyl replied. She herself had never seen one magic user interrupt another in such a way. Doing so would technically be assault and battery. Only a trained warrior would learn something like that, and she doubted very much that Celestia spends much time learning how to fight.
“Shouldn't we try to run?” Vinyl almost asked, before realizing what Youksh had said earlier. The building was surrounded. There was no where to run. Then again, did she even want to? As terrifying as these events were, they were thrilling at the same time. In a dramatic violation of the monotony of her life, she had a handsome stallion protecting her from a foreign threat here to capture Princess Celestia herself.
Halden spoke to the ruler of the ponies, “Your chaos magic won't fool us so easily as it did on your own people, 'Princess'. We know the truth about Project Discord.”
Celestia glared at Halden for the briefest moment. “Even if Equestria was removed from the security council, the Griffon Federation would never let something like this happen!” she shouted, her cool broken. She glanced behind herself, but Vinyl couldn't see what the Princess was looking for.
“The griffons who you pressured into joining into your wars of aggression held greater sympathies with their victims than the tyrants who forced them into it. Gerhard Loranger, commander of the GF Air Battalion, personally attended this operation to ensure its success!” responded Youksh, a mix of anger and excitement in his voice. “He's covering us from the skies as we speak.” It was the tone of a tur who had worked for years to obtain a goal, and finally had it in his hooves.
Celestia looked behind herself anxiously once more, and finally it became obvious why: Twilight's friends had equipped elaborately jeweled, golden necklaces; Twilight herself had donned a magnificent tiara. What ever the Princess was hoping for surely lied in her personal student's incredible magical abilities.
Twilight's eyes began to glow a white purer than the snow of the Crystal Mountains, and surprisingly, so did the eyes of her friends. Even the non-unicorns. Vinyl had never seen it in person, but she had heard stories. Pegasi and Earthponies using magic like this could mean only one thing: The Elements of Harmony. The ultimate weapon in Equestria's arsenal, used to save the world twice in the past two years.
The six ponies began to slowly raise into the air as the white glow swiftly expanded beyond the ponies themselves and illuminated the room. The two remaining royal guardsmen stepped in front of the harmonious ponies, wings spread, just in time to halt the progress of the swiftly moving goats. The two guardsmen were seized by the larger goats from all sides, more dragged away than assaulted. The caprids were merely clearing a path in their haste to reach the six glowing ponies. It was too late for them, however.
The hall quaked in the shock wave of a vibrant rainbow exploding from the ponies. It rose straight up from their hexagonal group, arching downward again just before reaching the tall ceiling, and straight into the group of goats and goat-like animalia. Several of the goats in the front were struck by the rainbow. From front to back, the goats began to turn to stone, petrified into statues of impossible detail. A moment later, the room darkened. The rainbow and white glow were gone, and the room was silent.
Then, six thuds, as the ponies fell to the ground.
Vinyl blinked. The goats were made of flesh, blood, and bone. They were perfectly normal. It was as if the Elements had never been used. She wondered if she had somehow imagined the brilliant rainbow offensive, which so instantaneously vanished. Then she saw it: the jewelry had been removed from the defenseless floating ponies by the expert goat warriors before the Elements could finish the job. Once again, the attack against the goats had been disabled. They had won.
Halden covered both Twilight's and Rarity's horns with his disabling aura before they even lifted their faces off of the floor. Youksh broke the silence, “Take the seven of them to the transport ship. We'll need to identify the rest befo--” in the span of a quarter second, his face rippled like a pond in response to a stone, transformed shred by shred from the center of impact, into a mess of bone and blood on the floor across the room, opposite the door the goats took to enter the hall. It took Vinyl a moment to register the fact. He had been struck by an advanced offensive spell from that door.
She turned to see, standing in that entryway, a tall alicorn stallion carrying an important looking, unconscious griffon. His coat was the unspeakable deep black of the cosmos on a moonless night, his mane an alternation of dark red--a symbol of his anguish--and black. His tail and mane were both spiked, like the talons of a dragon. His eyes had the deep red orange glow of a sacred katana in the furnace, when the ferrite crystals that make up its holy blade transform through the A1 boundary into austenite before being plunged into the cold water of his soul. His face had a look as hard as the martensite that such a katana would form after being quenched, the Body Centered Cubic structure of his heart being wrenched by his suffering into the harder Body Centered Tetragonal structure. But Vinyl could see the brittleness such a structure would confer through the compassion in his eyes. As well as wisdom and fierceness. Or she would, if he weren't wearing bright neon green aviator glasses.
He was the most stunningly handsome stallion Vinyl had ever set her eyes on. She tried to help but falling instantly in love with him, knowing that he was orders of magnitude too great to ever be interested in her, but fall she did.
His horn was longer than Celestia's, and glowed in a mix of blood red and teal, bolts of lightning arcing away from it in its raw power. He stretched his wings. They could be described only as awe-inspiring. With alternating blood red and black feathers, they reminded Vinyl of the blood of a ninja's victim running down his black sleeve. Spreading 7 feet to both sides, he struck the goats guarding the door down in a skillful double-stroke. The goats fell to the ground behind him as he coolly walked into the hall. Their fall brought Vinyl's attention to his his cutiemark. It was that of an aged but ornate scroll, with a quill pen writing a description of himself into a fanfic.
“Buddhi-chan!” Rainbow Dash shouted in a voice that would be expected more of a Japanese girl who had just seen a puppy, than the tomboy wannabe wonderbolt member.
The alicorn dropped the griffon and brought his wings down with force that shook the room, sending him into the air and toward the main group of goats. From his horn came a flurry of destructive spells, annihilating goats left and right with deadly accuracy. The markhor attempted to disrupt this hail of destruction, but his horns were knocked clean off, before exploding in the air from the sheer force of the kick into small chips of bone and keratin. An almost imperceptible moment later, those chips themselves exploded into dust. Vinyl presumed that the dust exploded further still, but was unable to see it.
“Grand Master Buddhist, I thought you were in Baltimare,” said Celestia, barely containing the relief in her voice, as Buddhist finished off the rest of the goats who had not thrown down their weapons and surrendered.
Rainbow Dash ran to Buddhist and kissed him, before saying “Oh Buddhist, somehow I just knew you'd save us. You are my boyfriend and I love you.”
Buddhist put a leg around her to acknowledge her conspicuously obvious statement, and spoke to Celestia. “I was, until my friends in the Griffon Federation told me what was planned.” He gestured to the unconscious griffon that he had left at the entrance to the hall. “I defeated the hundreds of soldiers in the city to get here, but that's not important. That's Gerhard Loranger. I found this on him.” He handed Celestia a letter addressed to Loranger.
“That's my friend in high places,” Tony explained to Vinyl with a smirk.
Celestia mumbled a bit as she read the letter, “...operations continued until Princesses Celestia and Luna are captured, killed, or otherwise deposed.” She looked grim. It seemed to be goals for the theater of operations in the invasion.
The room was silent. All could hear the conversation.
“They won't stop their invasion until you step down, Princess. They'll come back, with an army so large that not even I can handle it on my own. If such a thing is possible,” said Buddhist. Vinyl doubted such a thing was indeed possible.
“You're so intelligent and right about everything...” mused Celestia, “You must take my place. You must be King of Equestria. However, there is one condition: You must take Twilight Sparkle as your wife.”
Ponies from corner to corner gasped.
“But... I am already in love with another,” Buddhist replied, looking down at Rainbow Dash with loving eyes.
“It's okay,” Rainbow Dash cut in, “You're so great and amazing that I can share you, if it's with my good friend. But I have a condition of my own: You also take Fluttershy as your wife. And Spitfire, and Elayne Trakand.”
Buddhist took a long look around the hall. He paused for a short moment to look into the eyes of each and every pony present. When he looked into Vinyl's eyes, she could feel that he was searching their hearts, looking into their souls. He felt a deep compassion for everypony here.
“If it is something that I must do,” he began slowly, “to protect these ponies from harm. Then I stoically accept those five as my wives, and the duty as King of Equestria.”
THE END
