Celestia's Hangover

by Aryn240

Chapters

Prologue
Chapter 1: Solar Flare
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 3: From the Bottom of His Heart

Prologue

Celestia’s Hangover

Cade YYZ

Aryn240

Goldey

Editors/Prereaders:
Mark Garg Von Herb
Regidar

Other Considerations:
Stringtheory

SNAP!

“Well, buck!”

Celestia, the Princess of the Sun, cursed at her luck. Her favorite quill, broken. And right in the middle of a sentence. Drat the luck. This day… Ugh.

The white alicorn shook her head side to side and levitated the broken quill with her magic, raising it in front of her. The break was too intricate to repair; even as she watched, a drop of leftover blue ink fell from the lower edge of the hollow tube and splashed onto her desk, pooling on the exotic imported mahogany.

Sighing, Celestia carried the black feather to her balcony, and opened the door, shrinking briefly from the biting wind that assaulted her with its needle-like cold. Pushing forward, she allowed it to whisk her broken quill off the edge and send it whirling off into the distance, lost to herself and…

“And a prisoner of the gusts that do blow through this land we call Equestria.” Celestia said, finishing her thought out loud. As the feather disappeared from sight, the Princess shed a single tear at the loss of her old standby.

“You will be missed, Pheather. You’ve served me well, throughout my ages…”

“A bit dramatic, don’t you think, Sister?”

Celestia started in surprise, then closed her eyes in exasperation. “Luna! How many times have I asked you not to do that?”

The Princess of the Night moved to join her sister as silently as she had entered. She had been blending in to the shadow cast by the tower from which the balcony they were standing on was attached. “My sincerest of apologies, but you seemed to be quite engaged, so I didn’t wish to disturb you… until I deemed it amusing.” She chuckled. “A funeral for a quill? One that came from Nightmare Moon?”

The elder white alicorn led the way back inside, closing the large, inlaid double doors behind them. She gave another sigh. “It’s been that sort of day, Sister.”

“Pray tell, what sort of day is that?” asked Luna in a playful tone.

Celestia sat down on one of the cushions she kept on her office, and rubbed her eyes with her hooves. “I can’t even begin to explain it. Everything seems to be against me today. It took me hours to figure out how to start the next chapter in my book, and the moment I did, Pheather snapped in half. It’s been cold, windy, and dark all day; why the pegasi had to pick today, I don’t know. All in all, it’s just…” She sighed yet again.

Luna was smiling when the white alicorn looked up. Celestia was irritated. “What? What part of this is so funny to you?”

The Princess of the Night’s smile grew. Without saying a word, she moved to her older sister’s fine mahogany desk, and inspected the drawers. Pointing a hoof at each one in turn and closing her eyes, she began to sing:

“One-pony, two-pony, three-pony, four
I-think-Tia’s-day-was-a-bore!
Five-pony, six-pony, seven-pony, eight
I-think-the-Princess-needs-a-little-break!”

On ‘break’, she opened the last drawer her hoof pointed to. From it, she pulled a full bottle of a golden, slightly viscous liquid. Applejack Daniels. A smaller bottle of regular Vodka and a very large, alicorn-sized shot glass also came out of the impossibly small drawer. She turned to her sister, a triumphant smile on her face.

The Princess of the Sun had stiffened in slight embarrassment, her face turning a fairly dark shade of red, contrasting with her white coat. “That’s…Um... I keep that in there for when I’m entertaining guests, of course. Yes, that’s it. Some of the elder anti-reform ponies expect a drink in a meeting. You remember those days.”

Luna didn’t respond, but instead placed the bottles and glass on top of the desk. She turned to look at the other alicorn, the smile still playing on her face. She adopted a more formal tone, but Celestia could hear the laughter underneath her jaded words.

“Of course, dear sister. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must set about preparations for the night. I do hope your day- “ she shifted her eyes to the alcohol, then winked at the older Princess- “gets better. The Grand Galloping Gala is only twenty-four short hours away. Farewell!”

Luna smiled again- a sisterly smile, this time, not evil- and departed, closing the ornate door behind her without so much as a whisper. Celestia watched her go, and then sighed to herself for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

“BUCK! The Gala is tomorrow!”

She really had had a bad day, of course. No pony could deny her that. And dear Luna had only been trying to help, even if she had been enjoying it a little too much. That was her sister, always full of merriment once out of the public eye.

The Princess of the Sun rose and trotted to the desk, eyeing the two bottles. What was this in the glass-? Trickster Luna had even conjured a few whiskey stones when she wasn’t looking. It really wasn’t fair to let that extraordinary effort go to waste, now was it?

“Oh, buck it all,” she said. One drink couldn’t hurt… But only one. She poured out a mixture of Applejack Daniels and Vodka into the tankard-sized shotglass, and, lifting it with her white aura, put it to her lips.

“But only one...”

*** *** ***

Author’s Note:

Hi, I’m Aryn240, and I wrote this Prologue! And if you sang Luna’s little song out loud, I’m proud of you.

This note is just to mention that, as the author list suggests, this is a collaboration. Credit for the original story idea goes to Cade YYZ! There should be a more thorough explanation of how this cooperation is going to work at the end of the next chapter, so keep reading. Do it!

Chapter 1: Solar Flare

Celestia’s Hangover

Chapter One: Solar Flare

*** *** ***

"Sister."

The Sun Princess stirred in her sheets, wrinkling the white sheets of the Murphy Bed on which she rested, but did not awake. The Princess’s white coat was stained with a strange red liquid, and her hooves were stretched out all the way, pushing out from underneath the blankets and off the end of the bed. Her wings were folded tightly against her back.

"Sister! Do not make me use the Royal Canterlot Voice!"

The white alicorn answered the threat with a loud snore and rolled over, hugging a green body pillow to herself with a ferocity that bordered on madness.

Luna sighed. "You asked for this, Sister!"

The Princess of the Night drew in a deep breath, filling her alicorn-sized lungs. She lowered the tip of her muzzle to the ear of the unconscious alicorn sprawled on the bed.

"SISTER!!!!!" The force of this one word nearly shook the walls of the room.

“AHHH!” yelled Celestia, jarring herself awake. Immediately, her wings snapped open to their full-sail diameter like a hoof-held fan, knocking over the lamp on the bed-stand. It fell to the floor, shattering upon impact.

Luna shook her head at her sister."That was a particularly nice Reapers lamp. I do hope you're happy!"

Through her foggy mind, Princess Celestia interpreted the words as if they were being yelled through a wall, amplified times ten. Muffled, but as loud as a thunderbolt. Each and every one of Luna's words pierced through her ears and into her skull.

She finally found her voice. "Luna, for my sake, will you stop yelling!" The Princess rolled over, now facing upwards. She struggled to think, and realized she was drawing a total blank on the previous evening.

Hesitantly, she asked, "What happened last night?"

Luna took one last look at the lamp, then disregarded it and smiled her signature mischievous smile. "Well, you..."

"OHMYHOLYBUCKTHATHURTS!" interrupted Celestia. She held her hooves to her head immediately, as if the yell had injured her more.

"What? What is it, sister?"

"My head! My bucking head! It feels like that stallion-servant stuck his horn in my motherbucking EYES!”

It was true. Celestia's eyes felt like they were being gouged out by red-hot needles, and her ears hurt like hell. The light burned her irises to crisps. There was a jackhammer going to work on her head. She buried her face back into the body pillow.

Luna blinked thoughtfully. "You mean Pokey Pierce?"

The Princess of the Sun groaned, talking quietly now, to spare her headache. Her voice was muffled underneath the pillow.

"Nevermind about that, Sister. Ugh... Did I do anything... you know... Irrational? Last night?"

"Take a look around us, Tia. What do you think?"

"I don’t think I want to." Celestia, her eyes still closed and burning from the light, tried to burrow deeper under the pillow.

Luna was insistent. "Look."

Celestia, steeling herself for the oncoming pain, ripped the minty-colored body pillow off of her head with her magic. She was still laying face-down, and even the light coming through her closed eyelids was painful.

"Ready?" asked Princess Luna.

"I DON'T WANT TO!"

"Celestia, as Princess, it is your..."

''Okay, OKAY!"

The Sun Goddess rolled over, and opened her eyes.

The effect was immediate. The light streaming from above and to the side of her instantly blinded her, and Pokey Pierce once again raped her eye socket with his horn. Repeatedly.

"Aaah! That's way brighter than anypony should ever need in this goddamn castle!" complained the eldest Princess. "Turn the damn lights down!"

"This is coming from the Princess of the Sun."

"Luna..."

The dark blue alicorn sighed. "Fine. But you’ll have to deal with it sooner or later."

The castle, being of purely Gothic construction, was naturally bright, like the architectural nature of the Zebra people. While most of the castle was indeed of Zebraic construction, the different pony quarters were designed to be pony-built, upon request. The result was a sweeping, soaring Gothic castle with short and squat towers, making the entire building look sort of like a skinny, athletic pony with a fat head.

A bit like Rainbow Dash, thought the Princess sourly. Out loud, she said again, "Turn down the lights!"

Luna, fumbling with her magic, found the brass knob on the light and turned it counter-clockwise, tightening the valve. The lantern flame dimmed, almost enough that neither Princess could see.

"Ah, that's better. Not as much pain. Now, let's see about-" Princess Celestia stopped talking, dumbstruck.

The quarters were completely trashed. Strewn about what she assumed was her pink, classy bedroom were empty bottles of Applejack D, Vodka-mixed stains, a good number of shot glasses, not to mention a sizable watermelon next to her head on the other pillow.

Wait... Pillow? I don’t own any pillows. Or watermelons, for that matter!

Confounded, Celestia looked up, at the ceiling, starting in surprise. "Oh, buck."

"Tia, I wish that at one point you would try and stop your foulmouthed-"

The white alicorn winced at her sharp voice. "No, Sister. Above us!" She pointed a hoof at the ceiling, and marveled at how dirty her white foreleg had become in the last twelve hours.

On the ceiling was painted a large, black bass clef symbol.

Luna shook her head. “Did you think this was your bedroom? This is the music wing. You are on the opposite side of the castle from your bedroom.”

Celestia continued to stare at the ceiling.

“Luna?”

“Yes, beloved sister?”

Celestia cleared her throat, and failed at keeping her voice low.

"Again, WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?!"

Luna thought for a moment. She hadn't exactly been present for the entire evening, but she had seen, and heard, a couple of choice things that might help.

She opened her mouth to speak. "You-"

She cut herself off, thinking.

“She did banish me to the moon..." The Princess of the Night really did want to tell her favorite sister everything she knew, but something kept nagging at her. Some small doubt, in the back of her mind.

"It would be quite fun to see her struggle. I haven't had a good guessing game in years, and I'm fairly sure that no pony else remembers last night. I’m the only one... and if I keep quiet, who would know?"

"Sister? Are you all right?" inquired Celestia, rubbing her head with her hoof.

"Yes, I'm fine, Sister. Just, ah, sorting out the events in my head."

Luna reached her decision. Pretending to think, she rested her head on her hoof and made a puzzled face. After a couple seconds, she threw up her hooves. “I simply can't remember! I drank my share of Applejack D, too!" A smile threatened to break her lips, but the Princess held her straight face.

"Crap," said Celestia, closing her eyes again. "I'm gonna have to find it out myself.” She mused for a minute. C'mon, Tia. Pull yourself together. You only have ten hours till the Gala!

Steeling herself, she opened her eyes again, preparing herself for the renewed pain that would inevitably come afterwards.

"Well, BUCK IT AGAIN!" cried Celestia. She glanced around, but she was alone again.

Luna was nowhere to be seen, and her eyes still hurt like hell.

*** *** ***

"Luna, where are you?" cried the Princess, now starting to get worried. She was vehemently rubbing her eyes with her hooves, and attempting to stand. What are you up to, Sister...?

Celestia swung her hooves over the side of the Murphy bed, and planted her them firmly on the floor. Her balance was a bit wobbly, but besides the splitting headache, she seemed okay.

"Right here, Tia! And I'll be with you every step of the way!" Luna's voice replied, the white-hot tendrils of noise pushing themselves through the Sun Godess's ears and into her already injured head. She looked around frantically, trying to ignore the pain that threatened to split her mind open every time she moved, but the Princess of the Night was nowhere to be seen.

"Luna, this is no time for your silly games. Show yourself!" cried Celestia.

Luna ignored this. "I would recommend starting with a nice, long bath. You smell like a Hoofball player after a hot game!”

The older alicorn stopped to smell herself. Oh, dear. No matter how you put it, Celestia did need a bath. Perhaps a nice, hot soak would help clear her senses.

"Luna, your tricks may have some logic after all! Who would have guessed?" replied Celestia, her voice radiating mock surprise.

The alicorn looked around the unfamiliar room, and spotted what she hoped was the bathroom door on the far left side. She picked her way through assorted junk and broken glass, making her way to the restroom. I think I’ll just splash some water on my face, to start. See how badly that much hurts.

Opening the door, she walked inside. Finding it in suitable condition, she reached out with her magic, and turned on the chrome faucet above the sink, watching as the magically heated liquid came pouring out with a splash.

Waiting for the water to heat, she walked over to the toilet and found it covered in wet toilet paper. Disgusted, she opened the shower curtain.

"AAAH! What in my name are you doing in here!"

Her yell awoke the pony sprawled on the bottom of the tub. The white unicorn opened her eyes blearily, and recognized the alicorn standing above her. She raised the broken bottle of Applejack D she was holding in an odd, formal salute.

"At your service, m'lady!" mocked Vinyl Scratch.

*** *** ***

Cade YYZ Authors Note:

First of all, I would like to give thanks to everyone else who helped make this happen, such as: Delvius, Mark Garg Von Herb, Stringtheory, Baldroug666, and Tim the Enchanter. This could not be a reality without you guys!

On another note, as you know, there are three different authors to this, Aryn, me, and Goldey. The way this works is that me and Aryn trade off writing each chapter, and then the other edits the living crap out of it, so we both contribute to all of the chapters. Goldey is kind of our Protogë.

Thanks for reading through this excessively long authors' note!

-Cade YYZ and the Team

PS: Spot the Pop Culture reference for an OC!

Chapter 2

The white alicorn backpedaled rapidly, nearly falling into the paper-covered toilet. The DJ unicorn was now sitting up, looking around with interest. She looked back at the other pony.

“Celeste! Hey! Where are we? Like, what happened last night?” said the DJ, dropping her Applejack D. bottle onto the floor, shattering it.

Celestia would normally have been appalled at the informality of the name ‘Celeste’, but, under the circumstances, she let it slide. “Why... what.... Why are you here?”

Vinyl wrinkled her brow in confusion. “I... I don’t know! Hey, are we in a bathroom? Never woken up in one before! Awesome! I’ll have to check that off my list!”

“You have a li-”

The Princess was about to respond when she realized her hooves were wet. She looked down in alarm to see that she had never turned the faucet off, and the sink she had opened was now overflowing. Hurriedly, she shut it off with her magic. She went to clean the floor, then realized that it would make no difference, and bending over with a headache was a poor idea. She turned back to Vinyl.

The white mare was looking down into the tub. “Hey, wait, did I sleep in the bathtub? Wicked! Wait, why am I so comfortable? Is that-” She cut off, beginning to laugh hysterically.

Celestia stared at her “roommate” for a moment, then moved forward in curiosity. “What? What is it?”

In way of an answer, the electric-blue maned pony simply got to her hooves and moved to the far end of the tub. The Princess moved to the edge and peered over the edge to find a grey pony.

“Wait... Aren’t you one of the lead cellists for tonight’s Gala?”

There was, of course, no response. Vinyl laughed even harder at the still-sleeping pony on the floor of the tub. She moved back over to the grey mare, and lowered her head to her ear.

“HEY, TAVI! UP AND AT ‘EM!”

Celestia cringed at the loud noise, but Vinyl’s headache did not seem to be as severe.The effect of the shout was immediate. The earth pony started out of sleep, her hooves going up in surprise. One caught the DJ in the face, and she backed up. The cellist sat up.

“AHHH! What? What? Where are we? My head, oh Celest-”

She froze mid-sentence, seeing the alicorn herself next to the tub. The Princess was by now nursing a small belief that she was still asleep, dreaming, in her own bed.

The grey mare was still looking at Celestia with wide eyes. Without shifting her gaze, she said, “...Vinyl? Where are we? And what did we do?”

The DJ was still rubbing her face with a hoof. “Well, you kicked me. Meanie.”

Octavia broke her gaze long enough to look at the unicorn in confusion. After a moment, she shook her head. “Well, you probably deserved it.”

Celestia broke in. “Excuse me- no, buck it, my head hurts too much to be polite. What the hell are you two doing here?”

Vinyl spoke up immediately, putting on a mock serious face. “The real question, Princess, is: why are YOU here? I’m sure you two are wondering why I’ve gathered you here today, but-”

Octavia whacked her with a hoof, cutting her off.

“Ow, Tavi!”

“There, I told you you deserved it.”

The DJ stuck out her tongue. “Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

Celestia sighed and rubbed her head with a hoof, trying to clear it. She left the couple to their bickering (and they were a couple; came out a few months ago, if she remembered Luna’s gossip correctly), and trotted outside, into the thankfully darker bedroom. Picking her way carefully across the trash and broken glass again, she crossed to the drawn shades.

Taking a deep breath, she used her magic to open a gap, just wide enough to peek through. Immediately, a ray of blinding light shot through into her eyes, and she yanked the shade close again.

Luna’s voice drifted into the room again, its owner still nowhere to be seen. “The sun is bright, isn’t it, Tia? A little too bright for this time of day, don’t you think?” The voice trailed off into a chuckle.

The Princess of the Sun gritted her teeth and stepped forward again. The first blast had hurt like hell, but the pain had actually had the benefit of clearing her head a slight bit, and this time when she pulled the shade open, she was able to squint her eyes and hold her ground.

After a moment, the world outside resolved itself from a mass of brightness into a recognizable scene. She was indeed in the music wing, as she could see her bedroom in a tower across the castle. Her bedroom blinds were closed. No, wait, they were open. Wait...

She squinted harder. She could just make out the shadow of a pony moving past the window, and the blinds opened again, staying open this time. No, she couldn’t recognize the pony, but there was definitely somepony in her bedroom. Who the buck?

“Hey, look, my stereo! Awesome!”

Celestia turned to see that Octavia and Vinyl had emerged from the bathroom, in a better state than they had woken up in. The cellist had appeared to have stolen the alicorn’s original plan, and her mane showed signs of having recently been wetted. Both ponies looked remarkably refreshed, and in better spirits. The DJ had just used her magic to pull a stained-looking stereo from a pile of what looked like... lamp shades.

The unicorn set the CD player in front of her, and poked one of the buttons with a hoof. She immediately made a face. “Eww. It’s sticky.”

The grey mare moved next to her and sniffed it. She didn’t look surprised. “Applejack Daniels. I’d bet my cello on it.”

Vinyl glanced at her, grinning. “What clued you in? The broken bottles saying ‘Applejack Daniels’ all around the room?”

Octavia made a face at the unicorn. “Nevermind. What’s inside it?”

The DJ pushed the button on the stereo again, this time with her magic. It popped open, and her expression changed from a grin to one of confused horror. The cellist, on the other hand, began to smile broadly.

“Oh, Vinyl?”

Gritted teeth. “...What. Tavi.”

“Could you read me what that CD says, dear?”

Vinyl gritted her teeth. “It says... ahem... ‘Beethooven’s Classical Symphonies’....”

“You understand you’re not living this down, correct?”

The mare with the electric-blue mane hung her head in shame. “Probably not. But in my defense, I was intoxicated when it was put in there.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Octavia grinned and pecked the DJ on the cheek.

Celestia disregarded them again and turned back to the window. Yes, there was definitely somepony in her room. She could see, because the sun was directly overhead, shining through the large skylight she had in her room. She could see a shadow on the blinds, closed again now.

“Now, who could that-”

Wait.

Directly overhead?

The alicorn closed her eyes, hard, and rubbed them with her hooves. A trick of the light, nothing more. Some sunlight glinting off a tower somewhere in the castle.

The Princess opened her eyes. The sun remained where she had seen it, directly above the castle. She whirled, the sudden motion hurting her head again. She clenched her teeth against it, and glanced around the room frantically for a clock. Before she could find one, the voice of Luna drifted to her again.

“Oh, Tia. I’m afraid I woke you up early! I thought it fitting, what with the Gala this evening. It’s only 10:00, currently.”

10:00...!!!!! Celestia blanched. She had always had a protocol in place for the sun, a fairly complicated spell that, once she had perfected it, raised the sun for her if she was asleep or unable to do so herself. The spell had an override ability, of course, but...why would she have ever invoked that? And who was in charge of the sun now?

The other two ponies in the room were glancing around, Octavia with concern, Vinyl with mild interest.

The cellist: “Oh, my! Was that the Princess Luna?”

The DJ: “Hey, cool! Loony! Is that Loony? Come out and say hi!”

No response, but Celestia fancied she could hear her sister laughing quietly. Celeste? Loony? I don’t even know this pony!

She turned and approached the two mares, trying to re-assert her ‘Princess’ air. It didn’t work well.

“Ahem... Allow me to ask again. What are the two of you doing here?” As an afterthought, she added, “And who are you, again?”

Vinyl reacted first. “The ever-lovin’ Vinyl Scratch, at your service! What, you don’t remember last night?”

“No! Do you?”

“Well... no. But, I don’t have a headache like you obviously do.” She looked at both the Princess and the cellist. “You two are lightweights. I drank just as much as both of ya and look at me!”

She attempted a hoofstand, and promptly fell over onto her back. Octavia snorted in laughter. Celestia turned to her.

“And you? You are a musician for the Gala, correct?”

The earth pony nodded in acquiescence. “Yes, your majesty. I was allowed to bring a guest during my stay here, and...” She gestured at the DJ now giggling to herself on the floor.

The Princess of the Sun nodded. “Alright. Do you recall what in the hoof happened last night?”

Octavia shook her head gingerly. “No, I’m sorry. If anypony remembered, it would be Vinyl; she’s used to large quantities of alcohol.”

From the floor: “You know it, baby! Now help me up...”

The grey mare looked at her, grinning slightly. “No.”

“Aw, please, Tavi?”

Celestia broke back in, abandoning all pretense of royalty. “Well, this is one buckin’ hell of a problem. The Gala is tonight, and nopony knows what the buck happened last night. Buck. Buck!”

Vinyl laughed at the cursing. The cellist looked a little taken aback. The Princess ignored them both.

“I’m going to my personal bedroom. There’s somepony in there, and I want to know who it is.” She crossed to the door and opened it, then slammed it shut again when a large beam of light shot into the still-fairly dark room.

“Buck! Buck it all!” She closed her eyes and grunted, and her horn began to glow. A second later, she had conjured a pair of extremely dark sunglasses.

Behind her, the DJ had finally gotten to her hooves, and she and Octavia were looking at each other, unsure. Celestia turned back to them.

“What? Isn’t this your room?”

The cellist glanced around and shook her head. “No, Princess. My-er, our bedroom had a treble clef on the ceiling.” She pointed at the bass clef above their heads. “I’m not sure whose bedroom this is.” She paused, then looked inquisitively at Celestia. “Would you be able to tell us where that room is from here?”

The alicorn thought, but her mind was still too raw to conjure up the map of Canterlot Castle. She shook her head, frowning. “No, I can’t. You are in the music wing, however, so it shouldn’t be too far away. Here.”

She conjured two more pairs of sunglasses, one of which Octavia took thankfully. Vinyl, however, refused the other pair, her eyes focusing on one particular pile of junk in the corner.

“Ha! I knew I wouldn’t have lost ‘em!”

From the pile, she dug out a pair of purple, shimmering glasses with black rims. She put them on with her magic, and then grinned at the cellist.

“See?”

Octavia just shook her head. “It’s a miracle those things aren’t scratched from... whatever happened last night.”

“Nope! They’re my lucky shades.” She turned to Celestia. “Anyway, Celeste, where you off to again?”

The Princess opened her mouth to request she cease using that name, and then just shook her head in disbelief. “I’m heading to my bedroom, to find out what happened there.”

Octavia spoke. “Well, seeing as none of us knows exactly what happened last night, I think it would be best if we split up. Vinyl and I will try to find our room. We’ll meet you at yours after we do so. It’s the tallest tower on the west side, correct?”

Celestia’s head was spinning, but that sounded like a good idea... or something. Whatever would get her out of the room. “Sure. Yes.” She shook her head to clear it. “See if you can find anything else about what happened.” She turned, opened the door again, and braced her eyes against the light. Cursing under her breath, the Princess of the Sun pushed out into the hallway of the castle, and was gone.

Octavia turned to Vinyl. “Well, at least we’re both alright. Are you okay?”

The DJ smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine. Whatever happened last night wasn’t crazy enough, I guess.”

The cellist smiled back. “I’m glad. Do you have any idea of which way we should go?”

Vinyl shook her head, and grinned. “Let’s go on an adventure!” She grabbed the stereo in her magic, glanced at it, and then put it back down behind her. She trotted out of the room.

The grey mare took one last look around, and sighed before following her fillyfriend. “It’s never a good thing when you say that, you know.”

“Oh, come on! What could go wrong? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Let me count the ways...”

Their voices trailed off down the hallway, leaving the room seemingly empty. A patch of air in the corner shimmered, then materialized into a tall, dark blue alicorn, her eyes bulging out of her sockets. She couldn’t hold it in any longer, and fell laughing to the ground, where she rolled back and forth for a few moments. Eventually, the merriment subsided.

“Oh, Tia, forgive me, but that was simply too entertaining. Oh, and you’re heading to your room now? Let’s just get there ahead of you.”

With that, her horn glowed, and the Princess of the Night was gone in a flash of magic.

*** *** ***

The Princess of the Sun was still resenting its brightness as she trotted through the halls of Canterlot Castle, the sunglasses doing little to help her (lessening, but) still-present headache. The halls were oddly deserted, whether because of preparations for the Gala or whatever mad thing happened last night, Celestia couldn’t tell. She took all the routes on the upper floors, avoiding any area that might still have ponies in it.

Luckily, she did not meet a single other pony on her trip to her bedroom. When she arrived outside her door, she found no guards. Curious, but not important at the moment. She pushed open the doors with her magic, and coughed as a fog of smoke rolled out.

She recoiled, her mind racing. What’s on fire? What’s happening? I swear, if it’s Luna, I will-

“WELCOME TO APPLELOOOOOOOOOSAAAAAA!!!!!”

Celestia stopped moving backwards, regarding the room and the cloud with confusion. Appleloosa was a town of settler ponies, miles from Canterlot.

What in my name...?

A light-yellow colored pony trotted forward out of the smoke, his eyes bloodshot and fairly wide. His face was an image of dreamy contentment, and he didn’t seem in the least surprised to see her.

“Ohhhh... hey, you! I-” He stopped, looking around suddenly. “Wait... This isn’t Appleloosa.” Celestia was about to reply when he looked up at her again. “Hey, you! Want to buy some apples? Welcome to Appleloosa!”

Celestia regarded him with confusion for another moment, then looked past him into the room. The mess she saw was not encouraging.

Oh, buck...

*** *** *** ***

Author’s Note:

Aryn here. (This chapter was my turn. You may have noticed that Chapter 2 didn't have a title- that means it was written by me. Cade has titles for his chapters, I don't. Just a way for you guys to differentiate between who wrote what.)
It’s great to see how much support the story has gotten so far; thanks to everyone who has read and enjoyed! Cade and I will try to keep delivering. We’re submitting to EQD soon, wish us luck.

As you have all seen, my favorite mares in Equestria have shown up again, so anyone who enjoyed them in Mixing Relationships (my other fic, for those newcomers) should enjoy them again here! For those of you who did read Mixing, you can assume that this story contains the same Tavi and Scratch; this would take place a few months after the events of Mixing. Just don’t expect any other characters to show up, sorry. I'm saving them for a possible Mixing sequel. ;)

As always, feel free to comment what you liked, didn’t like, what you want to see more of, what you want to see less of, etc. Whatever strikes your fancy! Message me or Cade if you want to; we’re nice people. :D

See you in two chapters,
Aryn

Chapter 4

“So... What you’re telling me is that there’s a room on the map that disappears unless one is wearing your sunglasses?”

“That’s what I’m telling you!”

“But- Vinyl. How is that even-”

The cellist was cut off as a loud crash came from somewhere ahead of them, down the hall. The two mares looked at each other blankly for a heartbeat, then dashed in the direction of the noise.

They paused at a flight of stairs, confused. Octavia looked at her companion imploringly.

“Vinyl! Check the map; what’s down there?”

The DJ, who was holding the map upside down, stared at it for a moment before shrugging and tossing it over her shoulder.

“Who cares? Let’s go!”

“Wait! Vinyl! Vinyl!”

The grey mare watched as the unicorn dashed down the stairs, leaving the map on the floor behind her. She gestured at it helplessly, then sighed and followed the DJ down the stairs.

She reached the lower hallway to see her companion galloping down it to a figure on the floor, tangled up with a suit of pony armor. Displays of armor such as that one were commonplace around Canterlot, but Octavia had never seen a pony move one. Or send one crashing to the ground, as was the case here.

The earth pony set off down the hallway, arriving at the fallen pony a few moments after Vinyl. The klutz seemed to be a member of the Royal Guard, one of Celestia’s white pegasi. He seemed quite the opposite of the guards’ usual stoic demeanor; in fact, by all appearances, he was still drunk from whatever had happened the night before. A door across the hall from him was open halfway, suggesting he had come from there.

He lifted his head at their hoofsteps, and grinned at them happily.

“I...fell down. BOOM!”

He waved his hooves in the air at ‘boom’, knocking another part of the armor flying. He looked after it, mildly confused, until Vinyl spoke.

“Somepony had a fun night, huh?”

The pegasus looked at her, grinning with the happiness only alcohol can bring. After a moment’s thought, he said, “Yeah! Yeah!”

Octavia stepped forward. “If he’s still drunk, that means he didn’t start drinking till later in the night. Maybe he still remembers something.” Addressing the stallion on the ground in front of them, she said, “Do you remember any of what happened?”

The guard closed one eye for a second, then opened it. He did it again. After a moment, the cellist realized he was trying to wink.

“Mares.”

Vinyl burst out laughing at the blissful expression of satisfaction on the stallion’s face. Octavia glanced at her with a cross between amusement and irritation before trying again.

“No, no. What happened last- Never mind. Listen, my friend and I are terribly lost... We’re looking for a large room with a treble clef on the ceiling. We don’t... er, we’re unclear about what happened last night. Would you happen to know where that is?”

The blue-maned DJ looked at her with amusement. “He’s stinking drunk, Tavi. He couldn’t find his plot with all four hooves!”

The pegasus heard her and turned his head. “I can, too! It’s right... um...” He poked his ear with a hoof.

Octavia was beginning to lose hope. She reached out and slapped the guard’s hoof away from his ear, which he was poking at absently.

“One more time. LARGE ROOM. TREBLE CLEF. Have you seen it?”

The stallion’s expression of confusion deepened. The cellist began to turn away when suddenly, it lightened. His entire face lit up. He opened his mouth.

“Treble clef?”

“Yes! Yes!” The earth pony was excited. “Where?”

“Mares!”

Vinyl started giggling. Octavia put a hoof to her face.

“No, not mares. I said treble clef. T-R-E-B-L-”

The guard shook his head. He pointed at the door across the hall from there, where he had come out of. “Mares!”

The cellist glanced back at her fillyfriend. “Vinyl, he’s useless. Can we go pick up the map you so carelessly tossed on the ground, now?”

But the DJ wasn’t listening. She crossed to the door curiously, using her magic to open it all the way. She glanced inside, and promptly starting laughing again.

“Tavi... Oh, Tavi, why didn’t we stay here?”

The cellist, confused, stepped over the guard who had returned to poking his ear and crossed to the door.

Inside lay a room much like the one they had woken up in. Same large bed, same door to the bathroom, even same piles of Applejack Daniels bottles. The only difference were the piles of-

“Mares!” The white pegasus from behind them said again.

And it was true. The room was full of mares; most of them royal maids, and a few others workers in the castle, by the look of them. Every available surface had some sort of pony draped on it. Nearly every mare was wearing some sort of undergarment. Spread throughout the room, in one corner, in several places on the bed, and all over the floor, lay a small contingent of royal guards. The mare-to-stallion ratio in the room was easily 3 to 1.

Vinyl chuckled and glanced back at the first pegasus, outside. “I’ll bet he did have a fun night. Why were we upstairs, missing all this?”

Octavia rolled her eyes, and then glanced at the DJ, puzzled. “Wait. Why are all the mares still wearing underclothes?”

The unicorn glanced at her, one eyebrow raised. “What are you talking about? Everypony knows that no clothes is normal. It’s only when ponies put on the clothes that things get saucy.”

“But... What? that doesn’t-”

Vinyl cut her off. “Besides, look!”

She pointed a hoof at the ceiling, where, emblazoned in a light purple, a treble clef looked down at them.

*** *** ***

“So, wait. You insulted the receptionist in the Canterlot greeting hall, and....?” The Princess of the Sun was getting nowhere fast with the handsome stallion who had ended up in her bedroom.

Braeburn looked confused. “Uhh, well, then... Ah think ah was thrown out. Yup. And then-”

He stopped, momentarily distracted by his hoof. Celestia put her own hoof to her face.

“Listen to me. Can you remember anything else about what happened yesterday?”

The stallion looked at her blankly for a moment before responding. “....Uhh... yeah! Ah remember, after Ah was thrown out, Ah was wanderin’ around, thinkin bout how badly Ah screwed it up... An’ there were these two little colts, can’ta been more than mah cousin Applebloom’s age, runnin around the grounds.”

The princess was intrigued. Though Canterlot had many ponies on its grounds, very rarely were there fillies and colts unattended. “What did they look like?”

Braeburn thought. “Well... uh... One was orange, and one was blue... And they were runnin’ around and runnin into stuff and yellin... They didn’t seem the brightest apples in the bushel, if you know what ah mean.”

‘Look who’s talking,’ thought Celestia. ‘At least you’re cute.’ “Anything else?”

The stallion’s eyes lit up, to some extent. “That’s right! Ah trotted over to them to maybe find out what they were doin’. But before ah could find out, they ran off! One of ‘em yelled “Over there, Snips! A cave!” and the other yelled back “Just like RD in the well!”

Braeburn stopped. “Ah dunno what that meant, but ah saw them runnin off through the sculpture garden, and stopped followin’ them.”

The alicorn’s mind was racing, as best it could through her still-present headache. She had no idea who those colts were; they must have come with their parents for the Gala tonight-

‘The Gala! Bucking son of a-’ Celestia cursed vilely in her mind. Nopony was in any shape to host the Gala, least of all her. Plus, the sun was still in the wrong place in the sky, and the royal guards were nowhere to be seen, and-

Her expression must have been shocking, because Braeburn drew back a little. “What? What is it?”

The Princess shook her head to clear it. “Nothing! Nothing. I just need to- wait.” She looked fiercely at the stallion, causing him to draw back even further. “ Did you say they went to a cave?”

The Appleloosan nodded several times, and Celestia cursed again. There was only one prominent cave entrance in the Canterlot sculpture garden, one that, until recently, had been boarded over and kept secret. It had been exposed during a musical escape during the last full-scale Canterlot wedding, involving a lot of love and singing, but-That didn’t matter. What mattered was that the entrance was open. She had been meaning to hide it again, but who had the time?

The entrance to the old caverns under the castle. With two colts in it. Who knew what was down there?

“This bucking day...”

Immediately, a barely suppressed giggle from behind her. Without hesitating, the Princess of the Sun whirled and leapt at the air, her headache screaming in protest. She felt herself pass a pony by just a hair, and then crashed to the floor in a heap. The gigging turned into full-scale laughing, and a dark blue alicorn materialized next to her. Luna was enjoying herself.

Braeburn attempted to jump out of the bed, but ended up only flopping away from the newly visible Princess. “Holy buck! Where in tarnation’ did you come from???”

The Princess of the Night glanced at him with amusement in her eyes, but the real entertainment was her sister. She looked back to Tia.

“My, my, Sister. A little slow on the leap, but... *ahem*... graceful, as always.”

“Oh shut up.” Celestia climbed to her hooves. “I knew you were there the whole time.”

Luna preened a bit. “I wasn’t trying to hide it.” She winked at her sister. “So, have you shown the handsome stallion over yonder the, shall we say, Royal Canterlot Bed?”

Celestia reddened slightly. She’d been considering it. Braeburn, across the room, took a second to put it together.

“Handsome stallion... Ya mean me?” His eyes widened. “With the Princess? Gosh, I-”

Celestia cut off and ignored him. “Haven’t had the chance to yet. At least I’ve got the nerve to go after the stallions, eh Sister?”

Luna stiffened a bit. Celestia could see she’d hit home. Luna never was very confident about romance, regardless of her teasing of it in others.

The Princess of the Sun continued. “And, if you were indeed listening, didn’t the fact that two undefended colts went down into the caverns by themselves concern you in any way?”

Luna’s expression was unreadable. “Oh, you’re right, Sister! We must charge down there and secure their safety!”

Celestia eyed her sister suspiciously. “You don’t sound convincing.”

Luna didn’t respond, just met her sister’s eyes. Neither blinked. Finally, the older sister backed down. “Ugh. This headache...! It’ll be a relief to get underground, at least. Come on, Loony, if you’re coming.”

Luna giggled at the nickname, and trotted out of the room. Celestia paused at the door and looked back at Braeburn, who was looking at her with a mixture of fear and attraction.

“You.” She pointed a hoof at him. “If I make it through this day alive, you had better still be in Canterlot. That’s all I’m going to say.”

The stallion looked unsure of himself, but far too intimidated to disobey her. ‘Good. Now to find out what had happened to those colts....’

The Princess of the Sun trotted out of the room.

*** *** ***

“So, I think next time we stay at Canterlot, we should hang out in our room more. I mean, it seems like so much fun...”

“Vinyl.”

“I mean, I’m just sayin’. Look at all these ponies. Do any of them look unsatisfied?”

“Vinyl!”

“Heck, I bet if we really get going, we can get the Princesses to join in! Then we’ll have some alicorn-sized fun-”

“Vinyl!”

“...Fine, fine. So we found our room. This ain’t going to do us any good.”

“‘Isn’t’.”

“Whatever. So, the Gala’s tonight... I wonder how Celeste’s gonna get everything done.”

Octavia’s expression fell. “Oh, buck.”

Vinyl gasped playfully. “Tavi! How dare you-”

The cellist cut off the mocking. “The Gala... I was part of the ensemble! If I spent the night drunk, where did the rest of the group wind up?”

The blue-maned mare looked around the room where the hungover guards and mares were starting to stir. “Well, they’re not in here. Are there any other big rooms in the music wing where an orgy might be held?”

“Nopony said they had an- is that all you ever think about?”

Vinyl winked. “With you around, it’s hard not to.”

Octavia blushed quite fiercely, unable to give a response. Suddenly she was glad all the ponies around them were still mostly asleep.

The DJ she was involved with (for better or worse) trotted out the door, calling back to her. “Are you coming, or are you just going to stand there looking like a tomato?”

The grey mare followed her out into the hallway again. She was getting over her embarrassment, and some of the color had left her face. A small smile had appeared in its place.

“...Where are we going, then?”

“Don’t we need to find the rest of your band?”

“Ensemble.”

“Whatever!”

*** *** ***

Author’s Note:

Hey guys! Long time, no see (well, two chapters ago). I just want to point out that I think I earned the story its ‘teen’ rating with this chapter. Also, I had a lot of fun it with, for reasons that may or may not be related to the the first thing.

Anyway. Thanks for the continued support, and I hope you liked the chapter! Don’t forget to comment whatever you’d like below, like where you want the story to go, or who else you want to see drunk. Feel free to message me if you feel so inclined.

See you guys in two chapters!

-Aryn

Chapter 5

“Two colts really ran in here?”

“According to that beautiful stallion currently residing in your bed, yes. Shall we go in?”

Celestia sighed. “I don’t know. Can’t we just let them be lost? Or eaten? I’m not in the mood to go traipsing around in the dark.”

Luna took a step inside. Then another. “Yes, I’m sure the parents of these colts would be just thrilled to hear that the ruling Princess of Equestria let their progeny die because she had better things to do. Come on, Sister.”

The Princess of the Sun took a step after her. “But there are miles of caves down there! And we’ve got the Gala to put back into motion! Not to mention the sun!”

The darker alicorn’s voice echoed back. “Here’s some tracks. No, wait, these are from that musical number awhile back... here’s a bouquet... ah! Two sets of small colt tracks.”

Celestia still stood mostly in the entrance. “Isn’t there some sort of... feral tribe down there? Or something?”

“Aren’t those just old pony tales?”

“Well, have you been down there?”

Celestia had lost sight of Luna, but she could hear the smile in her voice.

“...Are you scared, Sister?”

*** *** ***

“Vinyl...”

“Ya huh?”

“Where are we going?”

“The kitchens, silly. Don’t you want breakfast?”

“I thought we were going to find my-”

“Well, I can’t search on an empty stomach.”

Octavia sighed and fell silent. The two were descending a flight of stairs (for what seemed like the umpteenth time that morning), heading towards the center of the castle. Vinyl was navigating by sense of smell alone, which, oddly, was more accurate than she had been with the map. The kitchens were somewhere beneath the main hall.

They arrived at another hallway, and Vinyl stopped.

“Listen! Do you hear that?”

“What, Vinyl?”

“Shhh!”

From nearby came a ‘hmph’-ing sound over and over again. It got louder as they moved down the hall. The DJ glanced in all directions before creeping slowly towards a door to their right. Octavia held her breath.

With her magic, Vinyl pushed the door open a fraction. They peered through.

“...HMPH!”

A white unicorn stallion with a blond mane and blue eyes sat the far end of one of the tables in a dining hall. He was tapping his hooves on the table with each ‘hmph’.

Octavia whispered, “Should we say something?”

Vinyl nodded. “I can’t smell out breakfast with that noise.”

“Wait, Vinyl, you can’t... What?”

It was too late. Scratch had already pushed the door all the way open and was trotting across the room to the stallion. He saw her coming and stuck his nose in the air.

“It’s about time. If I had been waiting any longer I’d have lodged a very serious complaint with Auntie. I’ve been here five minutes already! Although I must say, you are dressed ridiculously for your job. Those garish glasses? I may speak with Auntie anyway.”

Vinyl was so confused she let the crack about her shades slip by. “Huh?”

“Aren’t you my waitress?”

“Not last time I checked. Aren’t you the moron who keeps making little ‘hmph’ noises?”

His mouth dropped open. “What did you call me?”

“Are you deaf, too? Stop ‘hmph’ing.”

“How else am I going to get breakfast?”

“Go find it. Who the buck are you, anyway?”

The stallion stood up and drew himself up to his full height. “I, ignorant wench, am Prince Blueblood, nephew to Celestia herself, and I will not go ‘find it myself’. I expect the servant to bring it, just like every morning.”

Vinyl shook her head. “Well, nopony’s coming, moron. So stop making that noise. It sounds as stupid as you look.”

Blueblood ‘hmph’ed again, and caught sight of Octavia crossing the room towards them. “Might I speak to the lovely mare behind you? She looks to be civil and refined, or at least more so than you. Miss?”

The ‘lovely mare’ lunged forward to stop Vinyl attacking the stallion, who backed up a few steps with one more ‘hmph’.

Octavia glanced at Blueblood, then disregarded him. “Come, Vinyl. We really should find out what transpired last night. Ignore him.”

The two trotted out of the room with the Prince gibbering behind them.

*** *** ***

Across the castle, in a small room devoid of windows, another duo was waking up. One was orange, tall, and clumsy, and the other was light blue, short, and excitable. The short one sat up first, knocking his head on a shelf above him.

“Ow! Where- where are we?”

The tall orange one stirred in his sleep and rolled over, mumbling, “Not yet, I want to ride the pony...”

The first one gave him an odd look and then shook his head, rubbing his horn with a hoof. He crawled out from beneath the shelf and stood up to his full height, stretching his wings. They were a bit cramped by the size of the broom closet they were in, but he managed it. He looked down at the orange one.

“Hey. Hey Snails.” He poked him with the tip of a hoof. “Wake up, c’mon!”

Snails yawned and opened his eyes, gazing around tiredly before stretching. He got to his hooves, narrowly avoiding a different shelf. He was a bit too tall, and his fully extended wings didn’t fit well in the broom closet.

“Hey, Snips?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are we in a broom closet?”

“Well, because- huh.” Snips scratched his head with a forehoof. “I dunno.”

“Uh, do you remember what happened last night?”

“Uhhh... no.”

“Well, uhhh... Can we at least, uh, go outside so I can stretch my wings? It’s too cramped in here.”

“Okay.”

The two opened the door and exited the tiny room, emerging into a sunlight corridor lined with stain glass windows. Snails used the extra space to extend his wings to their full length.

“That’s better. I don’t remember my wings ever being so tight.”

“Me neither. They feel almost like I’ve never even had-”

The two stopped at the same time, eyes bulging out of their sockets. They turned to look at each other.

“Snips?”

“Uh... yeah?”

“Why do we have wings?”

“Uh...”

*** *** ***

“No, Blueballs! We’re not gonna get you breakfast! Stop following us!”

“It’s Blueblood, wench! And with an accent like that, I can hardly believe that you’re a distinguished guest.”

“Well, believe it. We just saw your Auntie this morning, and boy, was she hungover.”

The stallion drew back in alarm. “What? My Auntie Celestia touch alcohol? Now I know you’re nothing but an unwashed peasant. She would never!”

Octavia and Vinyl exchanged glances. The trio were following Vinyl’s nose further into the castle. The mares were walking side by side, with Blueblood trailing behind them complaining.

“How often do you see the Princess, anyway?” the cellist asked.

“Well, Auntie is very, very busy with her duties whenever I try to see her, of course, but I understand. I live here in the castle, you know. Very refined, very-”

“So, the last you saw her would be, to your best estimation...?”

Blueblood took a moment before answering. “Well... perhaps a month or so ago, I passed her in a hallway.”

“I assumed as much.”

“Now, you listen here, Miss, just what are you-”

Vinyl abruptly stopped in front of a door on their left, causing Blueblood to run into her. “Here we are! Food!”

The prince recoiled from the collision, and gave yet another hmph before striding forward. With his nose up in the air, he said “Well, I suppose I have to thank you for your help in finding me my breakfast. Open the door for me.”

Octavia opened her mouth to deliver a cutting reply, but Vinyl spoke first. With a smile, she said, “Sure thing, Blueboats.” Her horn began to glow.

The stallion got as far as “It’s-” before the oaken door flew open, catching him right on the chin and knocking him backwards onto the floor. Vinyl pulled her shades down and winked, mouthing ‘accident’ at Octavia before stepping through the entryway.

Octavia glanced down at the now-groaning unicorn, smiling her sweetest smile. She leaned in close.

“That’s my fillyfriend. And if you ever have the unmitigated bad taste to treat her as such again, I’m going to make sure that next time something your ‘Auntie’ knows about it, right after I shove my cello down your throat.” She tossed her mane before adding, “You’re lucky Vinyl’s nicer than I can be. In fact, you’re lucky I’m starting to get over this hangover.” She pulled the pair of sunglasses she had been wearing off her face and tossed them next to him.

The cellist stepped through the door, closing it behind her. The prince lay where he was for a moment longer, trying to get the world to stop spinning. After a moment, he heard voices.

First, from the grey earth pony who had looked nice but had been so very mean: “Oh, Bonbon, when did you get here? Lovely to see you.”

And on the tail of that, from the wild, uncivilized white unicorn: “Why the buck aren’t you hungover, too?”

The last thing he heard before sinking into brief unconsciousness was a very exasperated “Vinyl, you can’t simply ask why a pony is not hungover...”

*** *** ***

Miles below them, the royal sisters had just penetrated some of the deeper caverns under Canterlot. Most of the going had been easy, and, with the help of a simple illumination spell, they had followed the tracks of the two colts without trouble.

Luna had disappeared a few times and reappeared, which, on a normal day, would have given Celestia more cause to worry. As it was, she couldn’t keep her mind off the sun long enough to care. The last time that a major buck-up like this had happened, she had had to do some serious schmoozing, along with spending a few unpleasant nights with the leader of the resistance movement in order to stop-

“Sister! This way!”

Luna’s voice echoed loudly back at Celestia, who braced for the spike in her head, but it didn’t come. Maybe it was the darkness of the cavern, or its silence, but the pounding in her head had retreated to a dull ache for the time being. She moved towards the source of light up ahead, which she took to be Luna’s horn giving off its glow.

“Where are you?”

“Well, we’ve nearly found the end of the tracks.”

“And? What’s there?”

Luna took a second before answering.

“...Them.”

*** *** ***

***Author’s note:

So... hi again.

Aryn here. I owe you guys and girls a big apology for such a HUGE hiatus. Cade emailed me many months ago asking me to take over the story for awhile, as he was getting overwhelmed with work. I said that was fine, and then the same thing happened to me. I have had no time to write or even read any fanfiction for a looonnggg time.

Anyway, my lame excuses aside, I’m just now getting back to writing. I can’t promise perfect, on-time updates, but I will promise you guys no more months of waiting. Again, I’m really sorry, and hope you guys will keep reading.

One more thing: I actually recieved a few complaints that the characters were ‘non canonical’. Guys, this is a comedy fic. You can expect it to be crazy, ridiculous, funny, and nonsensical. But if you’re looking for Celestia to be the regal Princess of few words she is on the show, you might be in the wrong place... I’m sorry.

Anyway, I do hope most of you will keep reading, and maybe Cade will see this and get back to writing with me. I really enjoyed the collab we had going for awhile there!

Aryn240

Chapter 6

“Who?”

“Sister, please move calmly to my side. Now.”

“Luna, why are you being so- Oh.”

The Princess of the Sun was looking at a creature that had surely never seen its brightness. It was pony-shaped, but pale white, with gossamer, bat-shaped wings and large red eyes without pupils. Behind it, dozens more stood, looking unblinkingly at the Princesses. They all stood just within the range of their light spells, and seemed unwilling to come closer.

The one in the front began to speak. Its voice was simultaneously raspy and gurgling, like the sound of river rapids that splash fiercely against the rocks, and vaguely masculine. It contrasted fiercely with the refinement of his words.

“How might we assist the Princesses?”

“Not to be a few miles underground looking at a face like that would be nice-”

“Sister!” Luna cut Celestia off with a hoof. She turned back to the creature that had spoken.

“We’re searching for two colts. Of... our kind. They may have found their way down here sometime yesterday.”

The leader cocked his head to the side and said, “Yes, we observed the younglings.”

“And? Where might they be?”

He smiled unsettlingly. “Back among your kind.”

“You didn’t eat them?!”

“Sister! Really, now, I don’t think that is-”

The creature, however, was puzzled by Celestia’s comment. “Do you think we eat ponies?”

“Well, I don’t know. You do have the whole ‘primitive feral, eaty- chompy- scary feel going on down here. How did you lure them down here, anyway? I know the entrance was unblocked, but it’s dark, and I doubt two colts would’ve come all the way down here on their own.”

He looked reproached. “Lure them? Of course not. They were following the light.”

“Which light? There is no light down here! Without this spell, I wouldn’t be able to see my buckin’ hoof in front of my face!”

“The flying light. The one that floated on the air.”

“No offense, but I think you all might be seeing things. Maybe there’s some kind of underground gas or something-”

“It floated into the cave after them, and they quickly began to follow it, deeper and deeper. It was drawn on the currents of the air, light as a feather.”

“Where is it now?”

The leader gestured to a creature behind him. Without a word, the second one came forward, holding a bag. With a jerk of its head, it tossed the bag in front of the royal sisters.

Celestia bent towards it, but Luna pushed her away and picked it up in her magic. She pulled the drawstring at the top, releasing a bright glow that some of the closer creatures shied away from. The Princesses peeked inside.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me...”

*** *** ***

“So you’re helping with the kitchen staff? Why am I not surprised? Your cooking is kickflank!”

Bonbon smiled kindly. “Oh, it’s a bit more than that. I’ve been brought in specially for the Gala tonight. I have a friend who knows the Princess quite well, and she got me this ‘consulting’ job. But-” she glanced around the kitchen- “so far I’m the only one I’ve seen cooking. In fact, you two are the first alert ponies I’ve seen all morning. Or afternoon? The sun is a bit odd today.”

Vinyl and Tavi exchanged glances. “Yes, we noticed,” said the cellist. “Did you happen to be present last night?”

Bonbon shook her head. “No, Lyra and I got in fairly late, and I was tired. We got a hotel room by the train station, and I went to bed. Lyra took a camera and went out; said she wanted to get some good shots of Canterlot.”

Vinyl broke in, saying, “Oh, Lyra’s here, too?! We haven’t seen you two since that crazy party in Manehattan. You remember that, Tavi?”

“Vinyl, that was a charity soiree I took you to that Miss Heartstrings happened to be playing at. It was not a ‘crazy party’ until you hooked her instrument up to an amplifier, produced your decks out of Celestia-knows-where, and consumed enough alcohol to make you forget all the rules on etiquette I had given you the hour before.”

“That wasn’t the alcohol, that was not being a snooze. And, well, the alcohol helped.”

“And this is why I can’t take you anywhere.”

Bonbon broke back in with a smile. “I remember, Vinyl. I was doing the catering, Lyra was doing the music. We were hired together. It did get a lot more fun after you started things going, though.”

Vinyl smiled triumphantly at Octavia, who rolled her eyes in exasperation. Bonbon went on.

“Anyway, when I woke up, there was a note at my door from Lyra that said she had stayed the night in the castle, and that she had gotten some great shots of the Princess. I came up here, found nopony around and the kitchens unguarded, so I set about making myself breakfast. Then you two walked in.” She frowned suddenly. “By the way, what was that loud bang I heard just before you came in?”

A low moan came from the other side of the door.

Vinyl grinned. “We may have... knocked out Celestia’s great grand-nephew with a door.”

Bonbon just looked at them, disbelieving.

“Well, we did!”

She sighed, then smiled. “Same as ever, Vinyl. Well, let him in, so we don’t all get exiled, and we’ll feed him.”

“Can we feed us, too?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Vinyl shrugged in agreement, and Octavia crossed the room, opening the door. Blueblood stumbled in, a bit dizzy. He managed to stammer out “Auntie... Telling... I...” before collapsing on the floor and sitting there, dazed.

Bonbon glanced at him, and said “Alright, you three, I’ve got french toast cooking. I think I’ll make a lot of it, since I’ve got the entire Canterlot kitchen at my disposal. I’m hoping now that the aroma will help wake up all the ponies I’ve seen snoozing everywhere. Even the guards! The Princess should discipline them more harshly.”

Octavia nodded. “That’s a fair idea. Heaven knows where the Princesses have even got to, and the Gala is in a few short hours. This castle must be set to rights.”

Bonbon pointed them to a small table at the end of the kitchen, and carried them three plates of french toast. Vinyl and Tavi helped Blueblood to his place, where he looked at the dish, confused, before licking the table.

Vinyl started giggling. Octavia sighed. Bonbon just pushed the plate closer to him, saying “Eat this.”

She returned to the rest of her cooking. Vinyl looked at Octavia.

“How hard d’ya think we hit him?”

“And just what do you mean, ‘we’?”

The DJ grinned. “All for one and one for all, Tavi!”

“...I see. I’ll need to remember that next time the chores need to be done.”

“Aww...”

“Now, what are we going to do?”

“About what?”

“Anything!”

“I don’t know, but this french toast is delicious. That mare can really cook.”

“Vinyl! It’s imperative we discover what transpired last night, and assist the Princess in getting the Gala together and functional before this evening!”

“...You use longer words when you’re angry. It’s cute.”

“Ugh.... And will you stop eating Blueblood’s french toast?”

“Well, I finished mine, and he’s too busy trying to eat the table. I- Hey, wait a sec!”

“What?”

Vinyl turned towards Bonbon and shouted “Did you say Lyra wrote that she had pictures of the Princess?”

“Yeah, she did! Why?”

The DJ turned back to Octavia. “Don’t you get it? Lyra probably has pictures of whatever happened last night!”

“Oh, you could be right! Good thinking.”

“So all we have to do is find her and her camera!”

“Well then, why ever are we waiting here? Let’s go!”

“What about Bluebonnet here?”

“Bonbon can look after him.”

They got up, leaving their plates on the table, and crossed to the door, saying goodbye to Bonbon as they went.

Blueblood let out another moan and shook his head as if to clear it. His eyes refocused a little bit.

“I’ve told you, my name isBlue- Who ate my breakfast?”

*** *** ***

“Hey, Snails! What time is it?”

“I dunno. Why?”

“Well, look at the sun. Doesn’t it look a little... weird?”

“I dunno...”

“Well, it does. Hey, look at me!” Snips pointed his horn at the sun, and extended his wings. “I’m Princess Celestia!”

Snails snorted laughter and joined in. “And I’m Looner!”

“Uh- you mean Luna?”

“Oh, yeah, her.”

“Well, then, c’mon, Luna, we gotta raise the moon! It’s time for night!”

“Uh, yeah, Celestia! You gotta lower the sun first!”

“Right!”

Their horns lit up. The sun dropped below the horizon so fast it was almost comical, and the moon shot up to take it’s place. It was night.

Snips and Snails abruptly stopped laughing.

“Uh...Did we do that?”

“I- well- huh. I dunno.”

“Uhhh... should we do something?”

Snips leapt into the air, beating his wings with agitation. “Yes! Yes! Do something! Fix it!”

Snails flew up to join him. “Whadya want me to do?”

“I don’t know! It’s your fault! You were pretending to be Princess Luna!”

“It’s not my fault! You were pretending to be Princess Celestia first!”

“But I-” Snips moaned. “We need to fix this! Focus again!”

Their horns lit up again, and the sun soared into the sky once more. The moon sank beneath the horizon, only to pop up again as if angry at being sent back. It flew up to cover the sun, creating an eclipse.

Snips and Snails opened their eyes.

“No! That’s not it, either! Snails, why did you put it back up?!”

“Sorry! I felt bad putting it back down there alone.”

“Well, don’t! We could be in huge trouble!”

Snails’ horn lit up a final time, and the moon sank back beneath the skyline. They both breathed a sigh of relief. Snips looked around.

“Um, d’ya think anybody noticed that?”

*** *** ***

“WHAT THE BUCKING HELL JUST HAPPENED?”

“Woah, Tavi, I don’t think I’ve ever-”

“VINYL. THE SUN AND MOON JUST HAD A MINOR SKIRMISH.”

“Well, maybe the Princesses are having a sisterly argument-”

“No. This is disastrous! Don’t you remember? I don’t think Princess Celestia has total control over the celestial bodies any longer.”

“Hey, that’s kinda cool! She’s Celestia, and she controls the celestial thingies.”

“...Did you truly not catch that before now?”

“Uhh... no.”

“I don’t think I can say I’m surprised... Well, it’s of no consequence at the moment. We need to find Miss Heartstrings.”

“Yeah. Hey, she’s a musician, right? Maybe she’s with the rest of your band!”

“Ensem- nevermind. Even if she were, we don’t know where they are, either.”

“Oh, right. Okay, how about this? We’ll go meet up with Celeste, like we said before, and maybe she can help.”

“I suppose that’s the best we can do. Alright. Where is her room?”

“Ummmm....” Vinyl squinted and looked in all directions. The mares were back in the main hall where they had found Blueblood. She pointed in a direction. “There?”

“Vinyl, that’s the front door to the castle.”

“Oh. Uhh...”

Octavia sighed. “You understand what we have to do, right? Who we need now?”

“Oh, come on... I’m sure we can find it without him...”

“Perhaps, but not in this century.”

Vinyl sighed. “Alright, Bluebells. You can stop hiding now.”

“It’s Blueblood, wen- um, Miss. And how did you know I was following you?”

Octavia answered without turning around. “You scream like a filly.”

“I do not! …So?”

Vinyl answered. “So you screamed louder than Tavi here when the sun and moon flipped out.”

“Well, if that hadn’t happened, you would never have known I was here. I’m rather nimble on my hooves.”

“Also, your hoofsteps are really, really loud. And you slammed the door behind you when you left the kitchen.”

“Well, I... Look here, would you like to get to Auntie’s room or not?”

“Lead the way, Bluebottoms.”

“I will have you exiled, or worse, for this, you know.” Blueblood trotted off towards some stairs.

Vinyl smiled at Tavi. “Isn’t this just fun?”

*** *** ***

“Really, Sister?”

“How is this my fault, Luna?”

“It’s your glow-in-the-dark quill.”

“Yeah, but who knew it would come down here?”

“You did throw it off a balcony instead of disposing of it in the manner of any normal pony.”

It was true. In the bag sat none other than Pheather, Celestia’s faithful broken quill. The spell the Princess had cast so that she could write in the dark still worked, and the feather was giving off a bright golden light.

“Well, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it would be blown into a cave and lure two colts down here to be eaten by these things!”

“...Sister, thy name is not political correctness.”

“Excuse me. I’ve already said that we don’t eat ponies.” The leader of the creatures sounded angry.

“Yes, we know.” Luna turned back to him. “I do apologize for my sister. She had a difficult night.”

“And my headache’s coming back looking at this light. I can understand why you guys stay holed up down here, the dark does wonders for a hangover, but-”

“Sister. Cease.”

“Fine, whatever. Hey, whatever happened to the colts if you didn’t eat them, anyway?”

Luna agreed. “Yes, that’s what I would like to know. How did you get them back above ground?”

“They flew.”

“Flew? How?”

The leader smiled widely, revealing sharp teeth. The effect combined with his wide red eyes was beyond disturbing.

“You don’t remember us, Princesses, but long ago, before the two of you ruled, we were already here. We lived beneath the ground even then, practicing our magic. In fact, we-”

Celestia yawned loudly. “We don’t need the history lesson. Get to the point.”

The leader frowned angrily. “The point, Princess, is that there is old magic down here. And with an attitude like that, I’m even more pleased we did what we did.”

The Princess of the Sun felt a real chill go down her spine. “...What did you do?”

“Made trouble for you.”

“How?”

“You haven’t seem them yet? We instructed them to search you out.”

“Who?”

Luna broke in. “They already did. She doesn’t remember.”

Celestia turned to her sister. “What? You know something about this? What the buck?”

The leader spoke directly to Luna now. “Oh, did they now? What did she do?”

“The sun is now out of alignment. I shall leave it at that. I just wasn’t sure what had happened to change them like that. I know now that it must have been you.”

“Indeed, it was us.” He mused for a moment. “Now that I know they have control, though...”

“Who? What? Where?”

He ignored Celestia. “...I think it would be much more entertaining to have them take power for a few years or so. They’ll learn to rule soon enough. Of course, that means you two will need to stay down here for a little while.”

Luna backed up, grasping what was about to happen. Celestia didn’t, but she backed up all the same.

The leader spread his wings, suddenly, and the light from Pheather went out. The Princesses, who had extinguished their light spells when the quill was revealed, were thrown into momentary blackness. A voice floated out to them.

“Won’t you stay awhile?”

*** *** ***

***Author’s note:

Yeah, for some reason I didn’t catch the ‘Celestia - celestial’ thing either until the second I wrote that joke. Don’t laugh at me.

Aryn

Chapter 7

“Good heavens, what is that smoke? What can Auntie be doing?”

“Oh my, I hope the Princess’s room isn’t on fire.”

“Did someone say roasting marshmallows?”

“No, Vinyl.”

The three had made their way up to Celestia’s bedroom and opened the door. Having been greeted by the same large cloud of smoke that had similarly greeted the Princess, they were now attempting to peer through it, though without much luck. Blueblood breathed in deeply, and immediately started coughing.

“She can’t possibly be in there. Nopony can be.”

“Is that right, Blueberry?

“Blueblood!”

“Look, there’s somepony moving around in there!”

They followed Vinyl’s pointed hoof. Indeed, there was something moving around in the cloud, growing, getting closer, becoming more defined, looking tanner. The effect of coming out of the smoke was so unsettling that Blueblood let out a little shriek when the figure started yelling.

“WELCOME TO AAAPALLOOOO-shoot! Ah keep forgetting, this ain’t Appleloosa. Anyhows, what can ah do you for?”

All three of them stood and looked at the newcomer. Even Vinyl was confused into silence. Finally, Octavia stammered out a few words.

“You... Princess... Who....What?”

Vinyl recovered her wit and muttered, “Whoever he is, he’s high as a kite.”

It was still true. Braeburn had lost interest in the visitors and had begun investigating the back of his hoof, muttering pleasantries and making offers of half-priced apples to it.

Blueblood still hadn’t said anything. Octavia looked over at him curiously, expecting a harsh comment and a demand of explanation for this invasion of his Aunt’s place. Instead, he stood silent, with his mouth open and his eyes wide as a dinner plates, staring at Braeburn.

Catching the cellist looking at him, he scowled at her and said “Well? Do something about him!”

“Me???”

“Yes, you. You’re the scary one. No. Wait. You know what, I’ll deal with him. No, wait. How about-”

Blueblood and Octavia began arguing about what to do with Braeburn. Vinyl, meanwhile, trotted forward, took a deep breath, and entered the bedroom.

The smoke was clearing a bit from the door being open, but the white unicorn made immediately for the balcony and, using her magic, pushed open the doors. The room began to clear more rapidly. Vinyl took a deep breath and trotted out onto the balcony further. There, something below caught her eye.

“Hey Tavi!” she called back through the bedroom.

“Yes, Vinyl?”

“More bad news.”

*** *** ***

“Fly, you fool!”

“Who are you calling a fool, Sister?”

“You, if you don’t get your flank in motion!”

The royal sisters were galloping wildly through the caverns, their horns throwing off beams of light every which way. Behind them, the tribe of pale ponies thundered after them, some of them screeching.

“I don’t think this is where we came in!” Celestia tossed a glance behind them, singeing a few tribesponies with her light spell. “And they’re gaining!”

“Well, Sister, if you had kept your mouth shut, we might have made it out sooner!”

A few minutes earlier, immediately after the leader had uttered his thinly veiled threat, Luna’s horn began to glow. She closed her eyes, concentrating on her teleportation spell. It would be more difficult, given the tons of rock above her, but she could do it. Next to her, she knew Celestia would be doing the same thing, preparing herself mentally for the spell that would whisk them out of danger and-

“Hey! Loony! Don’t go to sleep on me!”

“What?”

Luna’s eyes popped open. Celestia was a few steps in front of her, her horn beginning to glow brightly. Too bright for a teleportation spell. More like-

“Ha ha! Take that, ya savages!”

The Princess of the Sun laughed as she began to fire bolts of white-hot light into the crowd of creatures. Some began to turn and run, but the leader, who had deftly ducked under the opening salvo, raised his head and let out a screech that pierced through the ears of everyone in range.

“BUCK!” shouted Celestia. Her headache was back, and with vengeance. Just as quickly, her light spell petered out, and her horn grew dark. She collapsed, covering her ears.

Behind the leader of the tribesponies, the screech had summoned others. Great masses of pale white bodies were were assembling. A few of them were even floating above. The best word to describe it was horde.

“Well? Start blasting!” Celestia yelled. Her horn glowed weakly again.

“Sister, are you still drunk?”

“I wish! Get us out of here!”

“Are you capable of a teleportation spell?”

“Do I look like I am?”

“You look like you might use a long rest on the moon.”

“What? Stop mumbling!”

“I said get up! We need to move!”

With great effort, Celestia raised herself to her hooves. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. Her horn began to glow again.

“Ow... buck! Hang on... there.” She began to cast an illumination spell, weaker than before.

As she did, the mass of tribesponies began to surge forward towards them. Celestia began to brandish her horn, but Luna grabbed her with her magic and tossed her down the tunnel behind her before turning and running.

Now, they galloped through the caves, the horde thundering after them. Left, right, leap the chasm, left again- hopelessly lost. The noise behind them was getting closer, and Celestia was slowing down, her hangover returning. Luna gritted her teeth and galloped faster, using her magic to aid her sister. Just as things looked hopeless-

“Hey! Listen! Over here!”

*** *** ***

“Hey, Snails?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you hungry, too?”

“Yeah! Oh, yeah! For pudding!”

“Well, you know, for anything. Come on, let’s get down a few flights. We probably don’t want to mess up the sun again or anything.”

“Right. Okay, to the pudding!”

“No, or just- Whatever.”

The two alicorns trotted down a few flights of stairs and found a few more. Snips looked down.

“Ugh. I’m tired. Hey, why don’t we try the wings?”

“Uh... didn’t we already?”

“Yeah, but you know, fly outside. C’mon, we can get out this window and fly down the ground!”

“Uh, alright...”

Snips crossed to a window and magicked it open. He stuck his head out and looked down.

“We’re about three flights up. C’mon, we can make it!”

Taking a deep breath, he put his front hooves outside. The wind swirled in around him, cold and quick. He hesitated a moment, then pushed with his back legs and shot out of the window, first forward and then down. The ground rushed up to meet him at a sickening rate, getting closer and closer and-

And then his wings flew open and he swooped so low he grazed a few treetops. Pulling up, he did a tight barrel roll, feeling the wind flow through his feathers.

“WHOOOO! SNAILS! YOU GOTTA TRY THIS!”

Back in the hallway, Snails scratched his head with a hoof, then approached the window. He stuck his head out and looked down. The ground seemed so far away. His wings snapped themselves shut, and he backed up. Outside, Snips was still doing loops. Snails sat down and shut his eyes.

“Just gonna gather my strength. Just gotta take a second. Just gotta get to the ground. The ground. I can make it to the ground...”

His horn began to glow. He opened his eyes and had just enough time to say “Huh?” before he disappeared in a bright flash of magic.

Snips saw the flash and swooped by the window. Seeing no Snails, he began to panic before another flash caught in the corner of his eye. He spun in the air to see, far below, Snails staggering a bit. He flew down.

“Snails! You’re okay!”

“Uh... yeah! Yeah.”

“What happened?”

“I dunno. I closed my eyes, and then... I was here!”

“Snails, that’s a teleportation spell! We learned about them in school!”

“But... that’s really powerful magic! Only Miss Twilight can do that back home!”

“Uhh... yeah.”

“Do you know what this means?”

“We can go find pudding now?”

“Yeah! I mean, no!”

“Aww...”

“Well, later. No, we must be good at magic now!”

“Oh boy!”

“Hey, who’s that?”

“Huh?”

Snails turned to look where Snips was looking. A large procession of ponies with carts was coming up the drive, seemingly headed for the main gate. A few of the closest ones noticed the two and started shouting.

“Uh oh!” said Snips. “We’d better get inside. They probably think we’re the Princesses.”

“Yeah,” agreed Snails. “Even though we’re not.”

“And we don’t have time to sign autographs and stuff.”

“Yup.”

“I’ll race you inside! Wings against teleport!”

Snails laughed. “You’re on!”

Snips took off in a blast, flying low and heading for the castle. Snails closed his eyes and was gone in a flash a moment later, just as the first of the ponies from the caravan had gotten near. He scratched his head with a hoof as a few others came up behind him.

“-No, no! I’d swear I saw them right here! The Royal Sisters themselves, with their coats dyed a new color! Too bad they flew off, my kids really wanted an autograph...”

*** *** ***

“This way!”

Luna turned towards the voice without thinking. The path took them directly towards a large chasm. There was no way they could jump it, she couldn’t even see the other side-

“Up here!”

The Princesses looked up, catching sight of a silhouette above them, slightly surrounded with light. Without thinking on who it might be or why they were there, Luna closed her eyes and, with a mighty effort, managed to teleport herself and Celestia up to the ledge. She turned to see a number of tribesponies fall into the pit they had just avoided. The majority, however, stopped short and glared at them.

Celestia whispered “They have wings. Why aren’t they flying over?”

“My guess is the light,” said Luna. “We seem to be right at the entrance where we came in. My mistake for not recognizing it in the first place.” She turned to look at it and caught sight of their mysterious helper. “Thank you, by the way. I didn’t recognize you at first.”

The Princess of the Sun turned as well. “Wait, who are you? How do you two know each other?”

The stranger stepped forward and extended a hoof.

“We met last night, highness, though you may not remember. My name is Lyra Heartstrings.”

*** *** ***

“You must be joking. A caravan?”

“Yeah, Tavi! I’m looking right at it!”

“Wonderful.” The cellist put a hoof to her head. “They must be here to begin setting up for the Gala. What time is it now, anyway?”

“No idea.”

“Ugh. Well, the Gala is this evening, and none of the staff seem to be prepared for the challenge. The sun and the moon are switching places without reason, and the Princesses are nowhere to be found. This rube” she indicated Braeburn- “is too far gone to tell us anything useful, and we still have no clue what happened last night. Please, could this situation be any worse?”

“That’s never a good thing to ask. Jinxes everything.” said Blueblood.

“Nobody asked you, Blueweed.” said Vinyl.

“My name-”

“His name’s Blueblood!” interrupted Braeburn. He looked proud of himself.

The prince looked a little stunned. He blushed.

Vinyl shook her head. “What a perfect couple. Tavi, what are we gonna do?”

“I’m not sure, Vinyl. Let me think- no, that’s no good, we need to head them off downstairs. They can’t get into the castle until the Princesses get back. Come, Vinyl, we’ll meet them at the front. I’ll think of something on the way down, I’m sure...”

“Sounds good. Hey, princey, you coming? For once, we could use your royalty. And if they get violent, it looks like I can gallop faster than you.”

Blueblood made a face at her, then glanced at Braeburn. “Err- no. I’ll stay here and keep an eye on him. One never knows what he might get up to in Auntie’s room.”

Vinyl looked curiously at him. “...Alright, then. Let’s go, Tavi.”

“Indeed.”

They trotted out the door. Braeburn watched them go and gave a small wave. He and Blueblood sat in awkwardness for a moment. Blueblood broke the silence first.

“So... do you come here often?”

*** *** ***

***Author’s note:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdrYlaEe41A

Sorry for the slightly longer wait on this one. Also, with any luck, Cade will be back writing with me by the next chapter or two!

As always, thanks for reading. Comment/message as you please!

Aryn

Chapter 8

The entrance hall to Canterlot is large and has a very high, arched roof. There are multiple entrances and exits around the perimeter, and a few more at the top of the wide set of stairs that dominates the far end of the hall. Through one of these top entrances galloped Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, glancing in all directions as they went. Octavia stopped at the top of the stairs, looking down.

“They’ve not yet made it inside, thank goodness.”

“What are we gonna say?”

“I don’t know! We need to figure out where to send them, what to tell them, how to explain.”

“Okay, how about this? ‘The Princess had a wild night of drinking and partying. We’re unsure of how many ponies banged last night, but most of them are just now waking up, so howzabout we just take all that stuff for the Gala and push it somewhere else?’”

“Vinyl, honesty is not always the best policy.”

“Oh. Then how about we just take all their stuff and run with it?”

“We need to be serious!”

“I am being serious! I always want new stuff!”

“Well, we can’t do that. Why don’t we- now, who can that be?”

*** *** ***

“Ha! Beat you.”

“That’s because I showed up in the wrong place the first time!”

“Hey, Snails, who is that?”

“I dunno. Where’s the pudding?”

“Forget about the pudding! -Wait, no, don’t. Maybe we can find the kitchen.”

The two alicorns had just entered the main hall and were looking around. Snips had pointed out two mares standing at the top of the stairs looking at them. One, an earth pony, was grey and very refined looking, and the other, a unicorn, was white and sported a pair of large shades.

“Well, maybe they know!”

“Good thinking!” Snips said. He called up to the mares. “Uh- Excuse me! Do you know where the kitchens are?”

The unicorn called back. “Yeah, through that door, into the main hall, through the back door, down a flight of stairs, then take a-”

The other mare, an earth pony, jabbed her with a hoof and continued to stare. She whispered something in her ear.

The white mare’s head whipped back around to stare at the two. Her mouth dropped open.

The earth pony called down. “Who-who are you two?”

Snips waved cheerfully. “I’m Snips, and this is Snails. Hi! We were just looking for breakfast. Could you finish your directions?”

The mare ignored what he had said. “Where are the princesses?”

Snips shrugged. “I don’t know. Why would we know?”

“Because you’re-” The grey mare was cut off as the unicorn motioned for her to be quiet. She trotted down the stairs slowly, and approached Snips cautiously. He watched her, confused. She gestured for him to bend his head down, and he did.

All of a sudden, she jabbed his side with a hoof and tugged on his horn with her magic. The hoof in his side went directly into his wing painfully, and the pull on his horn jerked his head up quickly.

“Ow!’

The white mare backed up a few steps, removing her shades to reveal an expression of abject shock.

“They’re both real!”

Snips glared angrily at her. “Well, yeah! How else could I have flown in here? That hurt! C’mon Snails, let’s get out of here.” He spread his wings.

From the top of the stairs, the grey mare yelled to the white one. “Don’t let them get away!”

Snips yelled back, “Lady, I don’t know who you are, but we’re going!”

He beat his wings once and shot off towards a door at the end of the hall. Behind him, Snails’ horn had already glowed white-hot, and, within seconds, he was sitting at the door holding it open for Snips. The latter swept through, and with another bright white flash, they were both gone, the door sitting wide open.

*** *** ***

“Come on, after them!” yelled Octavia.

“Why?” asked Vinyl. “They’re bucking Alicorns! We couldn’t catch ‘em anyway!”

“Never mind! We’ve got to try! They have to know something about last night!”

Octavia rushed down the stairs to join Vinyl, who had replaced her shades on her face, in the middle of the hall. She nudged her in the direction of the door, then set off at a gallop for it. At the same time, the front door of the hall opened again, and a very wealthy-looking pony trotted in. She immediately moved to Vinyl, extending her hoof.

“My name is Carrie deCash. I represent the caravan outside here to set up for the Gala. I presume you’re our contact?

Vinyl gaped.

“Here, I have the money. For the use of Canterlot property to sell our goods?” She held up a fat sack of gold coins.

Vinyl’s mouth dropped open even further. She began to reach for the sack.

“VINYL! Come on!”

“But Tavi...”

“No! I forbid it!”

Vinyl looked longing at the gold, which the now-confused mare was still holding. Reluctantly, she tore herself away and trotted after Octavia, tossing a few longing glances back over her shoulder as she went. Halfway to the door, she stopped and turned back.

“How about you just wait there, and I’ll be back to take- er, assist you with-”

Octavia grabbed her partner’s ear in her mouth, and, painfully, dragged her through the door.

Carrie stood still for a second or two, gaping where the two of them had disappeared. A few of the coins in the bag jingled loudly in the silent hall. She looked to the left, then the right, then behind her. Seeing nopony, she slipped the bag of coins into her saddlebag, then turned and went back to the front door.

Throwing it open, she shouted, “Alright, I paid her! She says come on in and get set up!”

*** *** ***

“Ah, there we are!”

“Did you have to make it so rough?”

“Quiet, Sister. Your headache is your own fault. Luckily, I can teleport 3 ponies easily when we’re not a mile underground.”

Lyra looked around curiously. “Where are we now?”

Luna gave their surroundings a glance. “Some unused bedroom, I think. There shouldn’t be anyone in here. Actually, this may be one of those ones that doesn’t show up on the map. Now.” She turned to her sister. “What do we do about getting the Sun back in place and the Gala back in order?”

Celestia was still rubbing her head. Her headache was starting to subside again, but not fast enough. “I don’t know. The sun had a failsafe on it. I would have had to disable it manually to have it get out of sync like that. Why would I do that?”

Luna and Lyra exchanged a glance.

“What? What do you know?”

Luna ignored this. “Well, how do we reset the failsafe?”

Glaring, Celestia said “I’d have to find whoever I transferred the spell to and perform the counter.”

Another glance. Lyra said, “We’re gonna have a problem.”

“What? What are you two talking ab-”

From behind them, a loud crash came. They turned, startled to see a light blue earth pony along with a large sousaphone fall out of a wardrobe across the room. The mare stumbled to her feet, and blinked blearily at the trio staring at her.

“G’morning” she mumbled, and trotted a few steps over to the bed in the room. She kicked at something under it. “C’mon, get up.”

There came from under the bed some grumbling, and then a light brown stallion with an off-white mane and tail stood up and shook himself. He in turn crossed to a closet against the wall and bucked it, hard. It banged loudly, and a second later, another stallion with a purple coat and blue mane burst out, eyes wide.

“What? What? Who? Where? How? When? Why?”

The other stallion, the brown one, held up a hoof. Counting in the air, he said, “Get up, get up, you, Canterlot, by getting off your rump, now, and because I said so. Did I miss anything?”

The blue mare giggled and turned towards the door, catching sight of the other trio still standing there. Her eyes bulged.

“Pri- Princesses! How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to hear you making an ungodly amount of noise.” answered Celestia, still wincing.

“What are you three doing in here?” asked Luna.

The brown stallion stepped forward. “I’m Frederic Horseshoepin. This-” he indicated the mare- “is Beauty Brass, and this clumsy one-” he indicated the purple stallion still rubbing his eyes of sleep- “is Harpo Nadermane. We’re part of an ensemble set to play at the Gala tonight- er, it is tonight, right? We didn’t sleep through it, did we?”

“No, you-”

“And one other thing.” He glanced around at the other two. “We’re missing a member. Grey mare, purple eyes, talks like she’s classier than Fancy Pants’s pants. You haven’t seen her, have you?”

*** *** ***

“This way! I smell food!”

“Oh boy!”

Snips and Snails burst into the kitchen, in much the same way as Octavia and Vinyl had earlier. They froze. Looking back at them was a large crowd of royal guards, sitting, standing, drinking coffee, or enjoying Bonbon’s french toast. All had tousled manes and looked slightly hung over.

And all were staring, unbelieving, at the two alicorns that had just entered.

Bonbon’s voice came from the back of the kitchen, in a closet. “What happened? You all got quiet out there!” She trotted out of the closet, carrying a package of powdered sugar in her mouth. She froze just like the others at the sight of the two in the doorway. The package fell to the ground.

Snips stepped forward very slowly. There was a large platter of french toast sitting on the countertop nearest him, and cautiously he stretched out his magic to lift it up.

“We’ll just be leaving-” he started.

One of the guards broke his stupefaction. “Hey! They must be the reason the sun’s all wonky!”

Another stood up. “Let’s get ‘em!”

They began to move in. Snips backed out of the room very quickly, pushing Snails behind him and carrying the platter in his magic. He slammed the door closed, but saw it begin to open again almost immediately.

“RUN!” he shouted to Snails. The two of them took off down the hall, the platter flying ahead of them. Down the hall, up a flight of stairs, through a small sitting room, back into a hall and-

“Hey! There they are!”

Snips whirled to see the two mares from earlier charging at them. Without thinking, he picked up a few pieces of french toast and hurled them at the pair, then dashed off again, Snails right behind him. He heard one piece hit and had barely enough time to grin before more shouts of “There! I saw them!” came from down a flight of stairs to their right. The guards again. He glanced around. They were just down the corridor from the large entrance hall they had first seen the two mares in.

“Snails! Get us out of here!” Snips yelled, turning to his friend.

“How?” Snails looked panicked.

“I don’t know! Teleport us!”

“Where?”

“ANYWHERE!”

“Uhhh, okay...”

He closed his eyes, his horn beginning to glow. Snips felt a strange sensation in his body. He was jolted, dropped the platter, blinked and found himself now at the top of the stairs in the large entrance hall. To his right, he could see down the hallway they had just come from. The guards could see him, too, and began charging down the hall, jumping over the platter of breakfast he had unfortunately dropped.

“Snails! Farther than ten feet! We gotta get away!”

“Oh! You didn’t say that!”

“Well I’m saying it now! C’mon!”

Snails concentrated again, and they were gone in a flash.

*** *** ***

“Mmmm....”

“Vinyl! You let them get away!”

“Well, I couldn’t let this breakfast get away! ‘Specially when it was flying at my face!”

“Hmph. Well, what do you suppose we do now?”

“I dunno. Go find more french toast?”

“No! Oh, Celestia, we still haven’t dealt with the merchants. We really need a royal touch to deal with them. The princesses...”

“What about Bluebeanie?”

Octavia stared at her. “That’s... actually a fine idea.”

“Well, with an intellect like mine-”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I just hope that settler pony hasn’t offended him to death.”

“Aww, they’ve only been alone together for 15 minutes or so. What could they possibly have gotten up to?”

*** *** ***

***Author’s Note:

And they found out that nothing dirty had happened? Oh wait, you don’t know if that’s true yet. Oh well. ;)
So I was supposed to start writing with Cade again, this chapter, if he’d RETURN AN EMAIL. IF YOU SEE THIS, CADE, I’M LOOKING AT YOU.

Anyway, normal apologies for the lateness of this chapter. Nearly the end of the school year, you know. I’ll try harder for the next one, I promise. As always, thanks for reading, faving, and commenting. Seeya next chapter. :)

Aryn

Chapter 9

“So... um... you sell apples, correct?”

“Uhh...” Braeburn paused to think a second. “Ah think so.”

“How very... pedestrian. I mean, peasant-like. I mean, interesting!” Blueblood examined his hooves busily, his white coat turning slightly pink.

The farmer pony didn’t notice, and continued watching a speck of dust on the floor very carefully.

Blueblood moved a bit closer, extending his hoof to within a few centimeters of Braeburn’s. Braeburn didn’t notice, but the prince leaned in closer still, slightly confused by what he found himself doing.

His lips were almost touching the other stallion’s ears when he whispered, “I must confess I’ve never done anything like this.”

Braeburn continued to stare intently at his dust. “Uh-huh.”

Blueblood pressed himself closer still. “I know you’re just a lowly farmer, and I’m- well, royalty, but...”

The dust shifted slightly. Braeburn’s eyes widened in alarm for a moment before it settled and his expression calmed.

“...but I think we could possibly make a bit of an arrangement that would suit us both. How would you like to-”

“Ooohhhhhhhh, TAVI! Are you seein’ this?”

Blueblood lurched backwards faster than his leaning position would allow, and fell off the bed with a loud thump. As he stood up, stammering out every sort of explanation, he saw the blasted white unicorn standing in the doorway with the biggest smirk he’d ever seen, her grey friend behind her.

“Bluegills, you got the blues for some... stallion company?”

Blueblood turned an ironic shade of red. “No! No, I was simply, ah, inquiring if there were, ah, the slightest possibility that, ah, this wretched peasant, ah-”

“Can it, Blueballs. We need you, unfortunately.”

“What? Why me? What could you horrid mares possibly want from me now?”

Vinyl’s smirk got bigger. “‘Horrid’? That’s not very nice. Play nice, or I’ll tell “Auntie” what you were about to get up to... in her room.”

“I- I- I wasn’t- but- now, listen here-”

Octavia stepped forward. “We don’t care. The tradesponies are here to set up for the Gala, and your aunt is still missing. We need you to reassemble what little ‘royal’ dignity you ever had and deal with them.”

Blueblood drew himself up to full height, opening his mouth in protest. Before he could, Braeburn cut in, looking at the mares.

“Heyyyyy... you wanna buy some-” He cut off, looking down in alarm.

“WHERE’S MY DUST?”

*** *** ***

Back on the stairs down, Octavia was nearly bowled over by a maid who galloping, head down. The pony was blushing fiercely and disappeared around a corner before the cellist could let out an indignant “Excuse you!”

Vinyl laughed. “Don’t mind her. I’ve seen this before. That’s the trot of shame.”

“Pardon me?”

“Oh, Tavi, it’s simple. Most of the ponies here spent last night in part of the castle that was new to them, with a certain part of another pony who was also new to them. Then this morning rolls along, and they’ve got one hell of a headache to go with the fact that they can’t remember the name of whoever they woke up next to after a night of-” Vinyl stopped to make a few gestures- “and they’re so embarrassed they don’t want anypony to see them until they get back to their own place.”

“You sound particularly learned on the subject.”

“No comment.”

“I thought as mu- What in Celestia?”

They had emerged into the large entrance hall once again. Octavia gaped. The huge caravan of ponies that had been waiting outside were now inside, and setting up their various trailers in any possible space. Ponies ran to and fro, tripping over each other, spilling things, and generally creating chaos.

The trio spoke simultaneously.

“How in the world are we going to get this in order for the Gala?”

“Look at all these peasants!”

“But what about my gold...?”

They looked at each other. Blueblood shuddered.

“We need to find the Princesses.”

*** *** ***

Upstairs, the Princesses, Lyra, and the musicians had ventured carefully out into the hallway. It seemed quiet enough, and the little group began to make its way towards a staircase at the end of the hall.

As they neared, a large rumbling began to grow beneath them. Luna held up a hoof.

“Stop. Do you hear that?” The rest of the group listened intently.

The musicians caught on first. Beauty Brass took a step back. A second later, Frederic did the same. Lyra glanced at them.

“What? What is it?”

Frederic pointed with a hoof. “Run!”

Lyra and the Princesses whipped their heads around in time to see a massive mob of royal guards swarm over the top of the stairs and head down the hall towards them, yelling things like “We’re right behind them! Forward, guards!” and “Faster, faster!”

Celestia stood tall. “Finally! My guards! Halt!”

The guards kept coming, oblivious. They were focused on the chase, and the combination of mob mentality and hangovers blinded them to their liege’s presence. They flowed forward, getting closer and closer, until-

“Come on! Luna shoved her sister in the opposite direction with her magic. They fell in behind Lyra, who was right on top of the three musicians. The group pounded down the hall, taking corners on two hooves, the guards yelling orders right on their tail.

“Where are we going?” yelled Lyra.

From behind, Luna shouted “Take the next right, and into the first room on the left!”

The words had just left her mouth as Frederic made a pinpoint turn into a side hallway, then threw himself into an open door on the left. The rest of the group followed suit, with Luna slamming the door with her magic as she landed.

The party lay there, breathing heavily and listening to the sound of the guards trampling by outside. Celestia looked at her companions and shook her head.

“Remind me to fire their flanks.”

*** *** ***

“Uh...Where are we now?”

“I don’t know! You’re the one who teleported us!”

“Well, you said ‘anywhere’!”

“Well, I meant somewhere we’d been!”

“How was I supposed to know-”

“Nevermind! Let’s just find out what’s outside this door.”

Snips magicked the door open and stuck his head out. Down the hall, he saw a maid trotting quickly away from him, her gaze fixed on the ground.

“Excuse me? Miss?” he called to her.

The maid pony started suddenly, letting out a small “eep!”. She spun around, her cheeks reddening several shades in a few seconds. Her gaze swept the hallway wildly before they settled on Snips, just his head still sticking out of the doorway.

She screamed.

“A ghost! A ghost! Get AWAY!”

Still screaming, she ran off down the hall. Snips looked after her, more than a little confused.

Snails, behind him, asked “Who was that?”

“I... I don’t know. Hey, come out here for a second.”

“Uh, okay.” Snails trotted out next to Snips and stuck his head out. The two of them looked up and down the hallway. No other ponies in sight.

Snips trotted out into the middle of the hall, glancing around to get his bearings. Nothing came to mind, so he turned back to Snails and-

“Huh?”

Snips’ eyes bulged out of his head. Before him, Snails’ head appeared out of a solid wall. He seemed unaware of this fact, and blinked a few times, confused.

“Uh, what do you mean, huh?”

“Your head! What happened to your body?”

“I- It’s right here! Why? Is it missing? Where is it? Where is it?” Snails started spinning around in circles where he stood. To Snips, it appeared as if his head and butt were alternating showing up out of the wall. It was bizarre.

“No, Snails! Stop. Stop!”

The head reappeared. “What?”

Snips stretched out his hoof cautiously, reaching for a point a few inches to the right of Snails’ head. He paused right above the surface of the wall, then plunged it forward. It sank into the wall with no resistance. He closed his eyes and took a step forward, and when he had reopened them, he found himself back in the room he had started in.

Snails blinked at him, extremely confused. “Uh, what is it??”

Snips grinned, his mind working. “I’ve got an idea. Go outside for a second...”

*** *** ***

Bonbon considered herself to be a reasonable pony. And kind. And not to brag, but a pretty kickflank cook. So she was proud to show off her talents, making breakfast for the guardsponies. She was easygoing about it when they asked for seconds. She could even deal with it when they made a mess, tussling with those strange-looking alicorns (Bonbon didn’t know who they were, but she had every confidence that the Princesses would sort it out. It was the kind of thing they did). But after making one giant, final batch of french toast for herself and cleaning the entire kitchen just to come back and find it gone, she had had enough.

“WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT WAS FOR YOU?”

The stallion in front of her with the bloodshot eyes blinked a few times. “Ah.... ah was hungry...”

“SO AM I!”

“Well... uh... See, ah was following this piece o’ dust, because it got away, and then ah smelled something just oh-so-tasty, and kinduh followed my nose down this way...”

“YOU-” Bonbon stopped and took in his eyes again, his confusion, and his extreme hunger. “Oh Celestia. You’re higher than a pegasus pony placing cirriform clouds. What am I going to do with you?”

“Uh... cirri- cirr- cinnamon?”

Bonbon sighed, her compassion returning. “Come on, let’s get some coffee into you.”

*** *** ***

“Tavi! Check this out!”

“Vinyl, I’ve already seen you slide down the railing. It’s impressive, but I don’t think I need to-”

The trio was frantically searching the castle, looking for any signs of the princesses.There were still sections unsearched, and stairs still unclimbed, but Octavia had the sneaking suspicion that they’d been past this area already.

“No, not that. Look, it’s the map!”

“What?”

It was indeed the map the two had tossed aside earlier. Vinyl picked it up in her magic and studied it. “Hey! That hidden room is still here!”

Blueblood’s ears perked up a bit. “What did you say?”

“Hidden room, Bluesy, what’s it to you?”

“Be silent for once and let me see that.”

“Give me a bit first.”

“We don’t have the time-”

“I meant the money, dipstick.”

“Why?”

Octavia, who had trotted on a few steps, looked back at them. “Just give her the bit, Bluesy.”

“That had better not catch on. And why?”

“Would you kindly just do it? So we might get on with finding the princesses?”

Blueblood grimaced and tossed Vinyl a bit. She smirked and handed him the map.

“I don’t see anything.”

“No, see, there’s a room... there. But it only shows up when you’re wearing my glasses.”

“That’s preposterous. Let me see them.”

“Give me another bit.”

“You vulgar little prosaic filly, my royal blood allows me-”

“Kidding. Here.” She removed and flipped the shades to him. He caught them in his magic and held them in front of his face, being careful not to actually come into contact with them.

“Hmm. You’re correct, which may be a rare event. As a matter of fact, I seem to recall overhearing a servant about a few passages and rooms of the castle which are indiscernible with the naked eye.”

Vinyl started to giggle at ‘naked’. Octavia shot her a look.

“I can’t imagine why your ‘shades’ make them visible, when they are unseen to even me, of royal descent, but perhaps we might search some of them.

Octavia nodded. “That’s not a bad idea. And coming from you, it may even be quite impressive.”

“And just what does that mea-”

Vinyl took her shades back, settling them on her face. “Nobody wants to hear about your blood again, Bluesy. Let’s go.”

*** *** ***

Far below the castle, a meeting of tribal ponies had come to order. In truth, it was a more of a group of them hell bent on mischief making, but as the leader called it to order, they considered it a meeting.

“This is unacceptable. Two foals wander down here and give us what may be the optimal chance to make problems for the royalty. To make things better, apparently they somehow gain control of the heavenly bodies. A few short hours later, the leaders themselves wander down here blindly, giving us an even better opportunity, and not only do we give them the information they need, they waltz out freely? Unacceptable!” He stomped his front hoof.

The creature to the right of him raised his hoof.

“Yes?” What is it?”

“Ahem. Could it be time to use... you know...”

“No, that’s-” Eyes widened in inspiration. “That’s perfect. Bring it out.”

“We’re going to the surface.”

*** *** ***

***Author’s Note:

Again, sorry about the long break, guys. At the risk of sounding cliche, I’ve had a lot of stuff going on. ANYWAY. No more long breaks like that, I’m going to finish this fic or die trying. I promise.

By the way, if you got the reference with the “give her a bit for the map”, you win 10 free internet points. Redeemable at an internet by you!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Favorite, comment, all that good stuff. See you next time.

Aryn

*** *** ***

Chapter 10

Lyra peeked out into the hallway, looking both ways. No trace of the mob of soldiers from earlier. She pulled her head back into the room and shut the door behind her.

“Right," she said. “What’s the plan?”

Celestia stood up, doing her best to summon back her royalty. What she managed was a tiny waver of her mane and a brief resurface of her headache.

“The plan is that one of you is going to tell me what the bucking hell happened last night. The sun’s out of place, the entire staff is hungover, I’ve met with flesh-eating pony creatures below the castle, and there is a beautiful stallion hopefully still waiting for me upstairs. So I’d like to get this cleared up and get on with my day, if you don’t mind!”

Beauty blushed a bit, Harpo sniggered, and Luna rolled her eyes. The other musicians just looked confused.

“And you, Luna. Why are you so serious now? You were being a trickster pain in the flank earlier this morning. What happened?”

“The Gala. And the Sun. I thought it was something you could fix, but it’s become apparent you can’t.”

“No crap. Now tell me what happened.”

“Well, Sister,” Luna started, “What do you remember from last night?”

“I had one teeny-tiny drink. That you gave me.”

Luna, remembering the large, full bottle of AJ Daniels and the vodka, frowned slightly. “And what else?”

“Nothing. I think I went downstairs at some point, and...maybe there was music?”

“You’re correct. Here’s how last night went...”

*** *** ***

Celestia trots down the stairs to the main hall, swerving a little bit and tripping but for the most part staying upright. She looks to the left, then to the right, taking in the modest dinner that many of the servants and early Gala guests are taking part in. Guards man the doors, and maids and cooks rush too and fro making sure everything is running smoothly. A few notice the princess and nod their respects kindly.

Luna, across the room talking to an aide about the Gala, notices her sister standing in the entryway. She sees the look in her eyes. She knows this look, and she knows what’s about to happen, but as she opens her mouth, she knows it’s too late. She just wanted her Sister to take the night off, but this was either going to be much more fun or much more trouble... or perhaps both.

“OHHHHHH SUUUUUUB-JEEEECTS!”

The Royal Canterlot Voice echoes across the great hall, causing every pony in it to turn and stare at their liege. She gives them all a grin.

“Tomorrow’s gonna be all BORING, huh? Nothing but pompous frou frou-y nonsense. Whaddya ponies say we throw the REAL party? Who’s WITH me?”

The Princess of the Sun pauses, looking around expectantly. Nopony breathes. Nopony is sure exactly of what happened to their ruler. And most of all, nopony wants to respond.

Celestia stomps her hoof. “Hey! Are you deaf? I said, let’s-”

Luna steps forward. “Sister, when I suggested you take the night off, I didn’t mean-”

“Oh, stop it. You!” She points with a hoof at the guards. “Off duty for the rest of the night.”

Nopony moves. “That’s an ORDER! And you!” She indicates the servants. “Same for you. In fact, EVERYPONY’s got the night off. MANDATORY!”

The stunned silence persists. Getting frustrated, Celestia concentrates. Her horn glows, and a bright flash of light emanates from it, covering the whole hall. When the crowd can see again, bottles of alcohol have covered every surface. A maid picks one up hesitantly.

“Now, my most faithful servants! THE PARTY BEGINS!”

This, Luna thinks, should be interesting. She fades backwards into the shadows as the ponies around her begin to pick up the bottles.

*** *** ***

“You didn’t stop me? Why?"

Luna grinned, a hint of the trickster returning to her eye. “I confess I wanted to see where the night would go.”

“Well, what happened next?”

Instead of responding, Luna looked at the musicians. “I believe I recall seeing you at the party last night. What do you remember?”

Frederic answered. “Well, your highness, we all got to the castle at the same time. We were going to get in a bit of practice, but our cellist was, er... busy.”

“Yeah, she was practicing her hoofwork.” muttered Harpo.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Frederic shot him a look. “She’s in a relationship, and elected to stay with her paramour instead of us.”

“We told them we wouldn’t watch... that much.”

“Harpo!”

Luna sighed. “So, what do you remember?”

“Not much. We parted in the music wing. They presumably went to their room, and we went to the hall. We witnessed the tail end of that speech you just recalled, and then Harpo here convinced us to pick up a bottle. Not much remains after that, but personally, I believe I recall seeing Octavia again that night.”

Celestia interrupted. “They don’t know anything. Keep going, Luna!”

Just then, Lyra stuck her head back outside. “I think they’re coming back. We should move.”

“Right.” Luna stood up and took charge. “Follow me.”

“But-”

“I’ll finish the story later, Sister!”

*** *** ***

“This is preposterous. They could be anywhere. This castle is enormous.”

“Thanks for the support, Bluesy.”

“Shut up. What happened last night, anyhow? I’m sure it was an uncouth orgy of sweat and filth, but, seeing as you two were there, you may tell me the disgusting details.

Octavia looked over. “What do you remember, Vinyl?”

Vinyl winked. “Damn, Tavi, how could I forget?

*** *** ***

“I...Incredible.”

“Yep.”

“That was unbelievable, Vinyl.”

“I know.”

“I mean... I don’t believe I’ve even used those muscles before. I’ve never felt so stretched out.”

Vinyl winked. “Get used to it.”

“I intend to. Shall we do it again, right now?”

“Wow, Tavi. Well, if you insist...”

“Oh, I do.”

“Game on! Go ahead and get it out again!”

Octavia rolled out the Twister board Vinyl had just bought again.

“Would you like to go first?”

*** *** ***

“And then, one thing led to another, and we ended up on the floor, with...” Vinyl trailed off, realizing where she was and who was listening. Octavia had gone a particular shade of vermilion, and Blueblood’s expression was a mixture of disgust and fascination.

Octavia cleared her throat awkwardly. “Er... Yes, well, the important part of the story is that after... some time, Vinyl got hungry, like always, and we found our way to the main hall for dinner, where your Auntie was just wrapping up a speech of sorts.”

“What do you mean, ‘of sorts’?”

Vinyl poked Octavia and grinned. “Oh, I wanna tell this part.”

*** *** ***

The laundry rooms of Canterlot Castle are, oddly enough, mainly on the higher floors, forcing maids to carry the laundry up many flights of stairs.. Most of the rooms hold a few magical washing/drying devices, a few tables, and some old magazines. Occasionally the washing machines, magical as they are, teleport bits of clothing to another room somewhere else in the castle, leaving the owner of the laundry to search for it and wonder. Celestia had lost her best towel that way.

It was into one of these rooms that the crew of musicians and Princesses now tumbled. They hadn’t heard the sound of the guards for a few minutes, but Luna had kept onward, looking for a room where they would not be disturbed.

“What do we do now?” Celestia wanted to know.

Lyra looked at Luna. “We should find them.”

“Right.” The princess of the night nodded firmly. “They can’t have gone far.”

The musicians looked quizzically at Celestia, who shrugged back at them.

“I hope so, Princess, it’d be kinda hard to put the sun and the moon back in place if they’re in Manehattan.”

“Hey, wait,” Celestia said.

“With power like that, and a lack of skill, I fear they could end up in Saddle Arabia. Though with any luck, they will have wished to remain nearby.”

“Luna,” Celestia said, more urgently.

“You’re right, Princess. So where should we start looking? They were just colts, so maybe somewhere like the kitchens...”

“LUNA!” Celestia yelled.

Lyra and Luna jumped in surprise. Luna looked over. “Yes, sister?”

“Who?”

“Well, after your, ahem, speech last night...”

*** *** ***

The party rages. Maids are making out with guards, unicorns are conjuring rings of fire, and pegasi are trying to fly through them. There are a few singed tailfeathers. Luna has taken up a post near the end of the hall, in shadow, watching.

The front door to the main hall opens just a crack, and a green unicorn head pops in. She takes in the revelry, the drinking, and most of all, Celestia herself, in the center of a crowd making a whole table full of shots disappear.

Before she can do anything, Celestia’s voice booms out. “You! By the door!”

Startled, Lyra Heartstrings opens her mouth to stammer out an excuse of some sort, but shuts it when she realizes the Princess is not referring to her. A few feet in front of her, a tan earth pony with an apple cutie mark and a hat swallows loudly.

“M-me, yer high-ness?”

“Yeah, you. Come over here.”

The stallion trots forward, trembling. The crowd has become mostly silent, or as silent as drunken ponies get.

"Uh... What can ah do fer you?"

Celestia leans in close, inspecting him. Everypony holds their breath.

"You're cute."

Braeburn's eyes widened. "What?"

Instead of responding, she kisses him, long and loud. The crowd goes wild; the cheering and catcalls rise to the ceiling. Most ponies go back to their bottles and their various other activities, but Braeburn remains, rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do.

Celestia winks at him, downs one last shot, and begins whispering in his ear. The settler pony begins to turn as red as the apple he’s named for.

Lyra raises her camera, but hears a voice behind her. She turns to see the Princess of the Night standing two feet away...

*** *** ***

“I asked Miss Heartstrings if she would kindly share the picture she was about to take with me,” Luna finished.

“And I said I would.” added Lyra.

Celestia stared daggers at her sister, who smirked in return. “I thought that such a picture could... come in handy.”

“Yeah, you’ll need something to entertain you on the mo-”

Frederic broke in. “That still doesn’t explain who we’re looking for.”

“Oh. Right.” Lyra shook her head. “A few minutes after I met the Princess, two new ponies showed up...”

*** *** ***

“So, uh... we’re just gonna hide here?”

“Right! I don’t know why all those crazy ponies are looking for us, or what even happened last night, but we better stay here for now.”

“I can tell you what happened last night.”

Snips and Snails nearly jumped out of their new wings at the voice behind them. Spinning around, they saw what appeared to be a pony in a large white cloak. The voice emanating from within was raspy and bubbly, and Snips had the faintest feeling he’d heard it before somewhere.

“Who-who are you?”

“You don’t remember me? We met only last night.”

“Uh... we don’t remember last night. But we got wings!”

The voice sounded as if the speaker was smiling. “I know. I gave them to you.”

*** *** ***

“There, you look a little more alert. How do you feel?”

“Ah think ah’m a little better, thankya. I don’t know what got into me...”

“I think I know, and you don’t want the Canterlot PD to find out.” Bonbon sighed as she cleaned up the remains of the french toast.

Braeburn sat before her, a mostly empty cup of coffee (his fifth) in front of him. His coat was still wet from the numerous buckets of water the mare had dumped on him, and he was shivering slightly. His head was clearer, and he was finally down.

“So what happened to you last night?” Bonbon asked from the sink.

Braeburn scratched his head. “Ah’m not really sure. I remember getting thrown out of the durn castle, and seeing some colts, and then ah think ah heard some big ruckus, so ah said to myself: ‘Brae, that’s gotta be the Gala, and you’re sitting out here like a rotten apple missing it. Ya gotta get back in there.’ So ah snuck back in, and somepony tossed me a bottle of AJ Daniels, and then...” His face scrunched up in thought. “Ah don’t remember.”

Bonbon sighed. “You’re not the only one. So where did you wake up this morning?”

“Umm... Ah think it was the Princess’s room. Yup.”

“What?”

*** *** ***

***Author's note
Hey guys, I'm typing this on my kindle at work, so it's gonna be short. This chapter was a little slower than others; we had to finally get some info on what happened that night. Hope you enjoyed it anyway. Don't forget to comment and everything! See you next time.

Aryn

Chapter 3: From the Bottom of His Heart

Chapter Three: From the Bottom of His Heart

"Bu- You- This is.....? I...!" sputtered Princess Celestia, rapidly shaking her head from left to right. This was NOT going according to plan. Not in the slightest.

The room was trashed with Applejack D and vodka, just like the musicians' quarters, and the blinds in front of the balcony were now all but torched. The roof, which during the day was enchanted to be transparent, was completely opaque. The source of all the smoke was nowhere to be seen, but the window was open a crack, offering a clue as to where it may have been thrown.

And here I was hoping it would be somepony that I knew! He's bucking hot!

The Princess looked at the handsome tan stallion that had returned to lying in her queen-sized bed, trying her best to regain her composure.

"Master Braeburn, at yer service, ma'am. I trust that ya got yerself a bit of a pro-blem-o, if it's not too bold to say!" The leather-vested, scrawny (and slightly attractive) pony smiled sheepishly through he smoke, his embarrassment showing through his extremely happy face.

He looked around, momentarily confused again. "If ya don't mind me askin', why am I in your bed? Wait, is this your bed? Did I... ah, horseapples! We didn't-"

Oh, damn! He has courtly western manners. Everypony knows that there's nothing hotter than courtly western manners! Oh, why! WHY NOW!!! screamed the Sun Goddess inside her head. She completely ignored what he was saying, and concentrated on not blushing.

"-cuz the last of what ah remember was-"

"Wait..." interrupted Celestia. She walked over to the torched blinds, inspecting them whilst talking. "What do you remember? Exactly?"

* * *

Braeburn nervously trotted down the walkway, completely out of place in the palace garden's posh decor. The roses that peppered the green bushes at exact intervals symbolized order and peace, neither of which he was accustomed to.

The stallion snorted. Back in

‘AAAAAAPPLEOOSA!’

Appeloosa, such control over nature was scorned. Instead, the

‘AAAAAAPPLEOOSA!’

Appleloosans preferred to let nature grow about untamed, and in return harvest its delicious fruit.

Braeburn held his head up high, and resisted the urge to yell "Appleloosa" out loud. "After all, a pony should probably carry himself with dignity on a business trip such as this one!" He nodded to himself knowingly as he walked. “And I’ll be darned if I didn’t sound all fancy-like just now!”

The cobblestone on which he walked was now clear of leaves. Bright, colorful chrysanthemums had taken the place of the roses now, all still arranged in that perfect checkerboard pattern.

"Now, Brae. You'll do good this time. You won't make a goofus of yourself. You'll make the

‘Aaaaaaaappleloosa!’

Apple family proud!" said Braeburn to himself.

He looked up from the cobblestone to see the reception hall in front of him. The large, gothic building was the centerpiece of the entire, three-mile-wide Canterlot castle grounds. The large front entryway opened into the interior, comprised of two large staircases on either side centered around a ridiculously small-looking reception desk.

Braeburn trotted closer to the reception pony, who had his front hooves up on the desk, not paying any attention to him or his surroundings. He was reading something.

"AHEM!" coughed Braeburn, the sound echoed through the entire building.

That did the trick. The gray unicorn looked up from ‘Equestria Daily’, annoyed.

"How may I halp yoo?" asked the gray unicorn in a nasal voice. His expression, however, said ‘Buck off and leave me alone’.

Braeburn could feel himself getting angry at the pompous pony. “Keep it cool, keep cool, Braeburn, keep it cool...”

"Hello, sir," he thought in his head.

"What a douche!" he said out loud. The receptionist gasped, his mouth opening almost wide enough to swallow a young buffalo. Braeburn was confused for a moment, then realized what he’d said out loud and what he’d kept in his head.

"DAMMIT, BRAE! You said the thinking part out loud and thought the talking part! STUPID STUPID STU-"

* * *

"Wait, what? You're that bad? You screwed up THAT badly?!" said Celestia. She had seemed some screwballs in her time (quite literally), but this pony was starting to take the cake.

"Well, I was never that gud at talking tah other ponies... Ya know, once, when my cousin came to visit to AAAAAAAAAAPPLELOOS-'' Braeburn would have finished, but for the hoof in his mouth.

"We get it." interrupted Celestia, her head splitting open once more. She removed the hoof from his mouth. If I make it through this day alive, I’m changing the name of that town.

"Well, mah cuz and her friends came tah town, and ah spent a week practicin' in the mirror for mah introduction. Wrote a script and everythin. When everythin' went wrong, ah had no idea what ta' say!" Braeburn sat upright on the bed, clearly embarrassed.

Celestia promptly facehoofed. Here in Canterlot, being social was the expectation of society, and, with a little hard cider, you could get anyone to talk to you, even a perfect stranger. Antisociality was not a good trait to have in such an upper-class city.

"Yeah, my family almost never lets me do anything with customers. Ah always screw mahself up, with mah disorder and all."

An awkward silence fell across the dark room. Celestia thought she could sense Luna’s laughing presence nearby.

She decided to break the awkwardness. "Continue telling me about yesterday!"

* * *

MEANWHILE, 1.5 Miles Away

"Dammit, Vinyl! We're going in circles!" scolded Octavia. They had just arrived back in front of the room with the bass clef on the ceiling, finding it in the exact same condition they had left it.

"Tavi, watch your language! Ponies get in TROUBLE for that!" Vinyl mocked. She pretended to swoon, putting a hoof to her brow.

"Vinyl, this is no time for such nonsense! YOU have the map, YOU find the way around!”

"Kay, kay. I'll do it. I could swear that this castle, like, changes, though." The royal D.J. took a look at the map again.

"Hmm... ‘Study’? I'm pretty sure that wasn't there before!"

"Vinyl, for the last time, the castle doesn't just magically change by itself! It-"

"See for yourself!" interrupted the unicorn. She unfurled the map with her magic, holding it out for Octavia to see.

"Vinyl, I don't see anything different. Our room is still where it was. It's not the castle that led us back here, it was you!"

The white mare looked back at the parchment on which the map was drawn.

"There! Clear as glass! It says ‘Study’ right next to Celeste's room!" The DJ scrutinized the paper, putting a hoof on the small study marked on the map.

The grey mare looked bewildered. "Vinyl, there's nothing there. That's outside of the castle! Those shades must be impeding your eyesight." As she said this, she took a hoof and ripped Vinyl's shades off, revealing her red eyes.

The DJ, shocked, looked down at the paper. "But- What the buck?"

"What?" the gray mare replied, confused.

"It's- Wait! Gimme your sunglasses."

Octavia handed the DJ her black shades that she had gotten from the Princess, wincing a little at the increase in light. Her headache was getting better by degrees, but was far from gone.

The DJ put on the glasses.

"It's-"

She took off the glasses for dramatic effect.

"Gone!"

* * *