Pinkie Pie vs. Yugopotamia

by redandready45

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Equestria Girls, Pinkie Pie (EqG), Comedy, Random, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 2428

Yugopotamia has an army. Earth has a Pinkie Pie.

Featured October 8, 2020

At recess, Timmy learns from his best alien friend, Mark Chang, that a rogue element of the Yugopatamian army wants to destroy the planet.

That wouldn't be an issue...were Cosmo and Wanda's wands not undergoing a tune up.

But thankfully, Timmy Turner has another ace up his sleeve: something pink, bubbly, and very, very annoying.

Normally, someone would balk at being sent to fight a hostile alien race. But Pinkie isn't scared. She loves making new friends.

Published 2020-10-08 15:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-08 15:30:00 UTC

The Pink Danger (Edited)

"What do mean you guys can't grant any wishes today?"

Timmy and his fairies were in Timmy's bedroom. Cosmo and Wanda were in goldfish mode and looking at him with sheepish frowns as they told him some bad news.

"Sorry sport," Wanda said apologetically. "Our wands were due for their annual wish tune up."

"Tune up?"

Cosmo smiled. "Our wands are mighty and commanding, like a celebrity's face. But they need maintenance and tuning every now and then, like a celebrity's face."

Timmy looked dismayed. "Can't fairies just wish for the wands to get a tune up?"

"Nope," Cosmo said with a smile.

Timmy face palmed in frustration, before calming down with a sigh. "Alright, fine. I can go a day without magic. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Like, INVASION OF EARTH?!"

Mark Chang was enjoying a pleasantly awfully day when his parents, King Gripullon and Queen Jipjorrulac, contacted him about a threat to his adopted planet.

"One of my rivals, the dreaded warlord Zilluuac, wishes to upstage me," The King said ominously

"He and his forces have decided they must crush the Greatest Warrior in the Universe to do so," the Queen said, "and completely destroy his planet from inside out."

Mark looked horrified. "Can't you, like, send your forces to punish him for his treason!?

"I could," The King said. The screen expanded, revealing he and his wife were on a foul-smelling wasteland. "But we're on vacation, enjoying the wonderfully disgusting atmosphere of Sulfur Seven."

"But-,"

The Queen smiled unapologetically. "Got to get back to our vacation. Love you. Bye bye." The call was terminated, much to Mark's chagrin. The green alien put on his human disguise and ran out of his spaceship.

"I must, like, warn Timmy Turner!" Mark yelled.

"Elmer what's wrong?" Timmy asked his boiled friend,

Timmy, Chester, A.J., Sanjay, and Elmer were sitting at their usual spot in the cafeteria, chatting about the Crimson Chin. Elmer sat still in morose silence, even when the pink-hatted boy had asked him a question.

Elmer rolled his eyes angrily. "I don't know," he muttered in a bitterly sarcastic tone. "Maybe it was the fact that my so-called friends were supposed to remember my birthday!"

Timmy and his friends looked ashamed and nervous. "Uh, we don't know what your talking about Elmer," Sanjay said with a nervous smile.

"Yeah dude," Chester assured their bespectacled friend. "We remembered your birthday."

Elmer narrowed his eyes in disbelief. "Oh really. Well then where's my present?!"

"Uh, it will be here soon," Timmy said , looking down at Cosmo and Wanda, respectively disguised as a knife and fork. "I wish-," he began, only to remember that his fairies couldn't do any magic today.

Elmer didn't look impressed. "When?" Timmy, Chester, and A.J. tried to think of another excuse, only to hear the sound of a horn, following by their classmates screaming.

Timmy turned around and saw a pink car barreling toward them. It had a loudspeaker on the roof, and a banner on the front that read "Party Wagon" in a bright pink letters. It plowed through the playground at high speed, causing children to scatter in fear of being run over.

A.J. looked horrified. "Is that-"

Timmy frown in annoyance. "It is."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELMER!" A female voice announced on the loudspeaker as the car came toward them.

Elmer smiled whimsically. "You guys did remember my birthday, after all. You just wanted this to be a surprise."

"Surprise?" Timmy said.

"Ah sure yeah," A.J. said with a nervous smile.

"Of course that's what we were planning," Chester said with a smile. "We were just messing with ya." The car stopped in front of them. A girl with familiar poofy pink hair got out of the driver's seat, while wearing a colorful pink party hat, much to Elmer's joy.

"HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ELMER, ELMER, ELMER!" Pinkie danced around Elmer while twirling around sparklers in her hands.

"Did you invite her?" A.J. mouthed to Timmy.

Timmy was equally confused. "I didn't."

"Then how did she know it was Elmer's birthday?" A.J. asked.

Timmy shrugged. "Pinkie just...finds these things out." The boys looked as Pinkie placed a red party hat on Elmer's head (and a tinier one on his boil) while singing the same song over and over again. The other kids gathered around this spectacle, much to Timmy's mortification.

"To celebrate the milestone of turning 10 Elmer," Pinkie Pie said cheerfully, "I have baked you my most tastiest, chocolatiest, chocolate cake ever!"

"Cool," Elmer said, "where-," Elmer watched with shock as Pinkie somehow pulled a cake the size of a table from her poofy pink hair. Elmer's face was drawn on top with red frosting, with a cherry to represent his boil.

"Did she just pull a cake from her hair?" One kid asked.

"Who cares?" Another kid said. "Cake!"

"Make sense to me."

Soon Elmer and the other kids clamored around him, or more specifically the cake, eager to eat.

"Yay!" Elmer said cheerfully. "For the first time in my life, everyone in class wants to be part of one of my endeavors, if only because they want to mooch off of my birthday cake." He looked gratefully at the pink-haired teenager. "Thank you Pinkie!"

"You don't have to thank me," Pinkie said happily. "Just always try to have fun!" This was punctuated by the sound of confetti bursting from behind her.

Timmy's embarrassment vanished. "Well, at least Elmer's happy." He was about to take a bite of the cake, when someone grabbed him by his shirt.

"Timmy Turner." Timmy saw Mark, in human form, looking at him with both fear and desperation while yanking him by his shirt. "Like, you we need to talk."

Before TImmy could respond, the bubbly teenager came up to Mark. "Oh, who are you?" Pinkie asked.

"Like, Mark."

"Well Like, Mark," Pinkie said, presenting a plate of chocolate cake to the disguise as an alien prince. "How would you like-,

"BLECH!" Mark said, knocking the cake out of Pinkie's hands. "GET THAT DISGUSTING SLUDGE AWAY FROM ME!"

Pinkie looked horrified. "Disgusting?" Pinkie said, on the verge tears.

"Sorry," Timmy said to the pink-haired girl apologetically, "he's...diabetic." Timmy and Mark ran away. "Got to go, school project." Timmy's friends looked at the pink-hatted boy with confusion, before going back to eating the cake.

Pinkie stared at Mark with a hint of remorse.

"So this alien wants to destroy me?!" Timmy asked with horror. The pink-hatted boy, the fairies, and the alien met up in his spaceship at the dump where he came to tell him about a threat to the planet.

"One of my father's rivals for the throne," Mark said with disgust while crossing his tentacles. "A total loser."

"And he wants to destroy the planet?" Timmy squeaked.

"Yeah." Mark let an optimistic smile. "Don't worry though. Like, you and your magical servants can save the day, right?" Cosmo, Wanda, and TImmy looked blue with fear.

"Uh," Timmy stammered. "Well."

"Timmy!" Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Mark looked to see someone arriving.

"I didn't no you were diabetic Mark," Pinkie said. She presented another, smaller, cake. "So I baked you a sugar-free-," Pinkie dropped the cake in shock, once she looked at Mark in his true alien form.

"Uh, Pinkie," Timmy said, "are you-,"

"OH MY GOSH!" Pinkie wailed. Pinkie came toward Mark, her fists bared, and a snarl on her face.

"Please, no," Mark said fearfully, "don't dissect me."

"I can't believe this!" Pinkie growled.

"Pinkie," Wanda urged, "I know Mark looks weird, but he has feelings like you-,"

"YOU LEFT THE WINDOW OPEN!" Mark, Timmy, and the fairies looked confused.

"What?"

"You're not supposed to leave the window open." Pinkie said, shutting a window a turning toward Timmy with her hands on her hips and a stern look. "You'll let the AC out."

"Uh, sorry?" Timmy said.

"It's OK," Pinkie said, her goofy smile returning to her face. She then noticed the fairies in the room. "Hey Cosmo, hey Wanda."

"Hey Pinkie," Cosmo said. "What is corn?"

"Nice." The green-haired fairy and the bubbly teenager did a high five. She then looked toward Mark. "Timmy told me he met an alien. He didn't tell me you were also Mark. Cool beans."

"Uh, like, greetings Earthling," Mark said with some confusion, "how is it-," Pinkie pulled Mark into a hug.

"I just want you to know, alien or person, we can still be-" Mark pushed Pinkie away from him and let out a pained yell.

"KEEP THIS BEAST AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled, his green membrane burning up. "ITS LOVE AND AFFECTION IS HAZARDOUS TO MY GELATINOUS FORM!"

"What's wrong?" Pinkie said with concern. "I just wanted to-,"

"Pinkie," Wanda said sternly. "Mark's species doesn't enjoy nice or good things. In fact, they can be very deadly to him."

"Really?" Pinkie Pie asked with some sadness.

"Yeah," Cosmo said. "Let me demonstrate." Cosmo poofed into the shape of a teddy bear and jumped onto Mark. It burned him. Cosmo poofed into the shape of an adorable kitty and leapt onto Mark. It burned him. Cosmo then poofed into the shape of a milkshake and poured it on Mark's body. It burned him again.

"COSMO!" Pinkie wailed, annoyed with how the green-haired fairy was hurting her newest alien friend.

Timmy glared at Cosmo. "Cosmo, I think she gets the point." Cosmo poofed into his normal shape and rejoined Wanda.

"So you can't enjoy hugs or anything?" Pinkie asked with concern.

"So Timmy, is this, like, the being who taught you to resist the dreaded chocolate and the roses of pain and death?" Mark asked the buck-toothed boy with a smile.

"Well," Timmy stammered.

"Because if you, a puny human child, could defeat me and my father's forces, then Zilluuac would stand no chance against a being as merciless and cruel as her." Mark gestured with his tentacles to the pink haired girl who cutely sang "La-la-la!" to herself.

Timmy's eyes widened in realization. "Yeah," he replied, "she's the one who did train me. I bet she could!"

"COME BEFORE ME, GREATEST WARRIOR!" A voice bellowed from overhead. The group of five came out of the space ship and saw a flying saucer hanging over their hands, a small platform jutting out from the roof, a blue Yugopotamian alien hanging at the end of it. He resembled the King except he had a thick mustache rather than a beard, along with evil green eyes.

"UNLESS YOU WISH TO SEE YOUR PLANET DESTROYED, FACE ME SO-CALLED GREATEST WARRIOR IN THE UNIVERSE!"

"Who is that?" Pinkie Pie asked happily.

Mark frowned. "Zilluuac."

A devilish and opportunistic smile appeared on the brown haired boy's mouth. "Hey Pinkie."

"Yeah."

"How would you like to make new friends?" Wanda asked her. Pinkie stared at the boy for a moment with her blue eyes, before letting out cheerful shriek.

"I WOULD LOVE TOO!"

A wry grin formed on the faces of Timmy, Mark, and the fairies.

"LET US BATTLE, GREATEST WARRIOR!" Zilluuac bellowed to Timmy, carrying all manners of weapons in his tentacles. Timmy approached him. The two of them were on top of flying saucer, which had been converted into a battlefield. On one side, Zilluuac's dozens of soldiers stood behind him, demented grins on their faces. On the other side, Timmy stood, Mark and his fairies right behind him.

"But remember this: once I've destroyed you, I shall tear your planet apart." He gave a nasty smile to Mark. "And I shall claim your father's throne once the Yugopatamians see my true greatness, Mark." A polite smile formed on his face. "But since you are the resident of this world, I grant you the first move," Zilluuac said in an unusually gregarious tone to Timmy.

A smug grin formed on Timmy's face. "First move, eh." Timmy snapped his fingers. A closet-sized box came down on the stage. The rogue Yugopotamians watched with trepidation as the box began to jostle, while Mark and the Fairies watched with joyful anticipation.

"What is-," Zilluuac began, only for the box to burst open.

"HI YUGOPOTAMIANS!" Pinkie bellowed. She wore a silly pink skirt, a silly pink blouse with smiley faces on it, and pink top hat with a heart on it. Her pink hair was tied into pigtails. "I'M PINKIE PIE, LET'S BE FRIENDS!"

The Yugopotamians shrieked in horror at this foul creature put before them. The blue warlord looked nervous, before regaining his nerve.

"I am not afraid," Zilluuac said. "I shall-," he screamed as cupcakes were thrown at his eyes.

"Your supposed to eat the cupcake silly," Pinkie said obliviously, "not wear it."

"AH MY EYES!" Zilluuac wailed. He dropped his weapons, trying instead to rub the frosting out of his eyes with his tentacles.

"I'm sorry," Pinkie Pie moaned apologetically. "Maybe you need a hug."

"A what-AAAAAHHHH!" Zilluuac shrieked in blood-curdling pain as Pinkie gave him the most deadly thing of all: a warm hug. "Stop, stop! End this torture! I can't take-," he fainted from the agony of it all.

"Ah, he must be so happy he's tried," Pinkie Pie chirped at the unconscious alien. He looked at the rest of the horrified Yugopotamians. "How about you. Want to have fun?!"

The aliens screamed.

"You're all so happy, your screaming with joy," Pinkie commented. The party girl brought out a colorful cannon. "I guess it's time I brought out my party cannon."

One of them shook with terror. "What does this contraption-," the cannon covered all the aliens in party hats, confetti, and glitter.

"AHHH!" One alien yelled. "THIS PLANET IS A NIGHTMARE!"

"FLEE! ACTIVIATE THE ENGINES!"

"NO TIME! GET THE ESCAPE PODS!" The Yugopotamians all ran to the escape pods, with one of them remembering at the last minute to grab their unconscious leader. Within moments, dozens of escape pods launched into the atmosphere.

"Driluuac," one of his commandents said to his weakened opponent, "let us flee to the next solar-,

"Forget solar system!" The mighty warlord wailed. "We have to get to the next galaxy!"

"Aww, my new friends left," Pinkie said with a pout, watching all the happy aliens fly away.

"Don't worry Pinkie," Mark said, "from one warrior to another, you, like, have earned my respect and friendship." Pinkie let out a small, happy tear, before pulling the green alien into a hug.

"Thank you Mark," Pinkie gushed.

"Aww!" Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda said.

Mark felt his membrane burn from the hug. "AHHH! It still hurts!"