Did You Know That I Love You?
Author's Note
Hey there!
Thanks for taking the time to read my story! It's my first ever attempt at HiE and a commission for my good friend, Not Enough Coffee. I'm open to criticism and comments should you have any as this style of story is brand new to me, so feel free to let me know what you think!
Thanks again!
Until the End of Time
Derpy dutifully dragged her destitute body back to her home for the evening. The sun had long since begun its descent and she had what could conservatively be called a long day at work. Honestly, though, long was an understatement of the most grotesque variety. Between the mail failing to be organized at morning pickup, Roseluck’s Chihuahua of pure evil escaping, and her younger sister needing to be picked up from school early due to being sick… let’s just say that the day may just as well have been the Ponyazoic Period.
She reached a hoof up and dared to touch her mane. She could immediately feel the random poofs of blonde hair going in thirty different directions as well as the knots that had formed on the tips. Ugh, this is not how she wanted to look when she got home to her husband. It was their date night and she looked horrible.
Great. Just great.
Luckily for her, her husband never cared too much about that sort of thing. He was always understanding, kind, and considerate of her and her feelings. But on the same note, his unconditional love and care was why she wanted to go the extra mile to make herself look better for their date night. She felt like he deserved at least that much from her. He always gave his all for her, so she of course wanted to do the same.
Oh well, she’d just have to take a quick shower when she got home. With any luck, she could maybe slip through the house and into the shower without him ever having to see her in the first place! That would be ideal, but she wasn’t exactly batting a thousand with things going her way today. Regardless, she was at least able to boost her mood with the thought that she and her husband would get to have a nice relaxing night at their favorite restaurant, away from all the hustle and bustle. Just thinking about his bright smile and warm personality could give her a smile of her own.
She picked up her steps a bit more and continued her trot back home. Thankfully, it wasn’t a long trip at this point . She could see her house just off in the distance, actually. It was a small cottage, not very assuming whatsoever, but it was home and boy did she love coming back to it at the end of each day. She could see a light coming from one of the front windows, signifying that her husband was already home. Not that she expected him to be anywhere else, of course, but there was something wonderful about having someone you love waiting for you every night. He worked the day shift, so seeing his face first thing every evening was a pleasure she was privileged to have quite regularly.
She moved her legs as fast as they would go and darted up to the front door of her house. She gently twisted the door handle and pushed it all the way open with her nose. She was instantly met with the familiar smells and coziness of home. Some things never got old.
“Hey babe, I’m home!” She squeaked out at the loudest volume she could, which honestly wasn’t much at this point of the day. She quickly looked around the room and didn’t see him in the immediate vicinity. “Isaiah?”
She could hear movement coming from the kitchen. This would be a good opportunity to sneak into the shower like she planned, but ultimately… she didn’t care anymore. She wanted her after-work hug and kiss more than anything else. She trotted back toward the room he was in and the sight that greeted her eyes was astounding.
The entire kitchen, from the floors to the sink, to even the ceiling fan… was spotless! This was definitely not the same messy kitchen she left when she went to work this morning. And, as her ears predicted, there was her husband standing in the center of it all, rinsing off the last couple dishes and putting them in the strainer.
Derpy walked further into the kitchen with wide eyes, taking in the sight surrounding her. She couldn’t believe how amazing it looked. Granted, that probably said more about their usual cleaning habits than she wanted to let on, but she could worry about that later.
“Hey, babe!”
Her wonderment was put on pause by the sound of Isaiah’s voice cutting through the room.
“Hey! Did you have a good day at work?” He asked.
Before giving her a chance to respond, he walked over to her. He bent down a little bit to wrap his arms around her and pull her into a tight hug. He followed that up, as per the usual, with a quick but affectionate kiss. She responded in kind by returning the kiss and lightly brushing her nose against his cheek.
“Oh, it was okay,” Derpy said, keeping her smile on the best she could. “Dinky got sick at school so I had to take her back to mom’s place during the day.”
“Oh no!” Isaiah said, immediately getting back to putting the clean dishes up. “Is she alright?”
“Yeah, or at least I think so,” Derpy said. “She just had a tummy ache.”
“Gotcha,” Isaiah continued. “Well, if she’s not feeling good by this weekend, we should see about visiting her. I can make some soup or something. I promise I won’t burn it this time.”
Derpy chuckled aloud. “You say that every time you cook and yet you keep burning things. If humans had cutie marks, yours would probably be an abused fire detector.”
“Psh, laugh it up,” he replied, turning his head around to smile at her. “Anyway, I’m sorry you had a bit of a rough patch. Your mane seems to have gotten the worst of it.”
Derpy frowned and immediately tried to smooth out her hair with a hoof. “Yeah, well, I was gonna take a shower when I got home, but I decided to come see you first. I didn’t know you could be so judgemental.” Derpy followed her comment up with a smirk. “Your hair isn’t exactly in perfect shape either, you know.”
“Heh, yeah, you’re right.” Isaiah ran his left hand through his hair, feeling all the tangles and poofs he had in his own right. “But hey, I’m a straight shooter. Anyway, I need a shower too before we leave, so if you want to get the water running, I’ll hop in with you once I’m done cleaning up in here.”
Derpy smiled. “Sounds good. I’ll go get the shower ready.”
Derpy gave him a final smile and began trotting out of the room. However, as she was leaving, something piqued her curiosity that she didn’t even think about upon her arrival home.
“Hey, babe?” She asked, turning back around to face her husband.
“Yeah?” He replied whilst staying focused on his chore. “What’s up?”
“How come you cleaned the kitchen today?” She cocked her head to the side. “I’m pretty sure it was my turn to do it on the chore list.”
Isaiah paused for a brief moment before shrugging and getting back to work. “Eh, I don’t know. It just needed done, you know? Figured I’d do it instead of just tapping my foot and waiting for you to get home.”
“Okay, well, I appreciate it, sweetheart.” Derpy gave him a light smile and continued her trek back to the bedroom. She couldn’t help but shake off the slight, nagging feeling that something else may be going on, but it was probably nothing. It’s not like her husband was lazy or anything, but it still seemed a bit unusual.
Oh well, they had a date to get to in just over an hour and now she had a clean kitchen to boot!
She finally made it back to their bedroom, which had their bathroom attached to it. She walked in and immediately looked herself over in the mirror. Yeah, she needed to freshen up. She looked like somepony who just had a bad day at an amusement park.
She shuddered and immediately moved to the shower to turn the water on. It took her just a moment to get the right ratio of hot and cold water, quickly finding the sweet spot. Showering together with Isaiah was always a bit of a challenge because she loved the water very hot and he preferred it to be a bit on the cooler side, but over time they found a temperature that worked for both of them.
Derpy chuckled a bit just thinking about the early days of their relationship and how she had legitimate concerns over whether or not a human and a pony could ever have enough in common to make a relationship work, but those doubts had been put down over time. Now, she couldn’t imagine ever loving somepony more than she loved him. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was everything she could have ever wanted.
Derpy ruffled up her mane, trying to get it as loose as possible and then stepped into the shower. Her body took just a moment to acclimate to the temperature, but when it did, the comforting warmth washed over her as her entire body became drenched.
After just a few moments of enjoying herself with her eyes closed, she heard a pair of footsteps against the linoleum flooring of the bathroom. She pulled the curtain open a bit and saw Isaiah outside.
“About time,” Derpy said with a chuckle. “I was gonna turn into a prune if you made me wait much longer.”
Isaiah finished taking off his clothes but took the time to give her a quick wink. “Hey, what’s the old saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I have to make sure I get to keep you around forever, don’t I?”
Derpy laughed and smiled at him. “True, true. But you don’t have anything to worry about.” She pulled the curtain open a bit more. “Now get in. I’m letting bunches of cold air in and I don’t like it.”
Isaiah wasted no time in following her bidding and stepped in. “Ahh, this feels fantastic. Thanks, love. You know just how I like it.”
“Of course. I better after three years of hearing you complain about the water temperature, haha.” Derpy reached to the side to grab the shampoo, before she immediately poured some out onto her mane lathered it in. “So, how was your day? I had so much go on in mine that I never thought to ask about yours.”
Isaiah shrugged and shook his head. “I mean, it was okay I guess. It was just...” His eyes trailed away from hers and drifted toward the ground. “It was okay.”
Derpy frowned. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay, but… is something going on?”
“Huh?” Isaiah asked, quickly averting his eyes. “Nah, I mean, nothing important at least. Just the usual…” He paused for a quick second. “Just the usual day-to-day stuff.”
Derpy tilted her head to try and meet his gaze before shaking her head. “I get it, I guess.” She turned back around and began rinsing her mane off underneath the warm water.
Derpy would be the first to admit she wasn’t the most intellectually gifted pony in Equestria, but she could tell from a mile away when Isaiah was having a rough day. It was apparent he wasn’t quite ready to talk about it, so she would let it slide… for now.
“Hey, sweets,” Derpy said, looking back at Isaiah.
“Yeah?” He replied.
“Could you get my tail for me, please? My back still feels kinda stiff after today.”
“Sure,” he said. “Do you want the usual shampoo or the one with that one plant thing you like in it?”
“You mean the lavender kind?”
“Yeah, that one.”
Derpy snickered. “Yeah, go for it. It’s a special night.”
Isaiah gave her a thumbs up and promptly began lathering the designated tail hair. Derpy smiled at the feel of his fingers running through her hair and over her body. It was very relaxing.
“Hey babe?” Isaiah asked while continuing to wash her.
“Yeah?” Derpy responded, the smile still plastered on her face.
His hands paused briefly before resuming their ministrations. “Do you think I’m a hard worker?”
Derpy immediately turned her around to look at him. “Huh?”
He kept his eyes glued downward but shrugged. “Just what I said. I mean, I like to think I work hard and do my fair share around town, but like…” He let out a sigh. “I don’t know, what do you think?”
Derpy lightly flicked her tail, giving him the signal that it was fully shampooed and ready to be rinsed. “Of course I think you’re a hard worker. You’re super responsible! Why are you asking?”
He shrugged again. “I don’t know, I guess I want some kind of reassurance.”
Derpy frowned. She quickly turned around and let her tail run through the water while looking up at him. “Did something happen at work?”
Isaiah crossed his arms. “I guess you could say that. But not really at the same time.”
Derpy looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“You remember how that supervisor position opened up down at the lumber yard?”
Derpy nodded. “Yeah. You’re still up for it, aren’t you?”
He shook his head. “Nope. They gave it to that one pony that started a few months ago, Tree Trunk.”
Derpy let out an audible gasp. “Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.” She immediately hopped on her hind legs to wrap her front hooves around him in a tight hug followed by a quick nuzzle into his chest. Through the heat of the water and mist, she could still feel a bite of cold radiating just beneath his skin. This is a road they’ve travelled before and he always insisted on walking it alone. Not today. She let go of him and climbed back down.
“It’s okay,” he replied with a half-hearted smile.
“No it isn’t,” Derpy growled with a stomp of her hoof. “You’ve been there for a year now and haven’t missed a single day! Did they say why you didn’t get it?”
“Nope,” Isaiah said with a sigh of defeat. “Boss just pulled me to the side and said they went in a different direction. It wasn’t anything in-depth or whatever.”
Derpy’s mouth gnarled into a frown and she snorted a blast of anger. “That’s not right! You’re wonderful and do a great job every day. It’s not fair! You’d be perfect for the new job!”
Isaiah shook his head. “Yeah, but to be fair, Tree is really good. I mean, his cutie mark is a freakin’ log getting cut by a saw. Being good with lumber is pretty much his life’s calling.”
Derpy loosened up a bit and called off the dogs that were barking in her brain. “You’re right. I just want to be there for you. I know you were super excited about it… and I’m sorry it happened that way.”
“It’s whatever, I guess.” Her husband sighed. “Hopefully, I’ll get the next one. I just have to keep improving and… be better at stuff.”
“You’ll get it for sure next time, babe.” Derpy smiled. “Or at least you better, or I’ll make sure every last one of your bosses loses their mail for a week or two.”
Isaiah chuckled. “Thanks babe. I’m sure they want no part of your wrath.”
A bit of silence hung in the air for the next minute or so. Isaiah shampooed his hair while Derpy rinsed off her body and brushed her teeth. They had been together long enough that awkward silences were no longer a thing, but that being said, there was still some kind of tension that Derpy could feel. Something just a bit off. Maybe it was nothing, but she could tell that there was just something… different about her loved one.
She needed to find out what.
“Hey, sweetie?” She finally spoke up.
“Yeah?” He replied.
“You weren’t cleaning when I got home just because it needed to be done, were you?” She cocked her head to the side. “Please, tell me what’s going on. I can tell you’ve got something on your mind.”
Isaiah opened his mouth as if to retort, but instead let out a breath of air and shook his head. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I?”
Derpy shook her head. “You never have before and you’re not gonna be able to now. So, you know, spill it.”
Isaiah ran his hand through his hair and leaned against the shower wall. “The whole thing with my boss? That’s just the icing on the cake I’ve been feeling recently. I just… I’ve been feeling useless. Like, it seems I’m just not as good at things as I want to be. What happened at work kind of made it worse.”
Derpy reached a hoof out and gently touched his arm, but kept her mouth closed.
“It’s like, all I want to do is just be the best me for everyone else. I want to be the best at work and get noticed, I want to stay in shape and look good so I’m not disappointed whenever I’m in front of a mirror, and I want to be loyal and loving for you so I can make sure you’re always happy.”
Derpy just continued to stroke his arm as she moved in a bit closer.
“But I don’t feel like I’ve been able to be who I want recently. Heck, even with stuff just around the house. Like, just the other day I completely forgot to repaint the mailbox and mop the floors like I said I would.” He tilted his head back and locked his eyes onto the ceiling. “I can’t even get that right and honestly, it’s hard to imagine sometimes why you even put up with me.” He took his hand and gently latched it onto the hoof that was caressing his arm. “I love you to pieces, but I don’t always feel like I’m doing good enough at life in general to earn your love back. It’s stupid, I know, but…” He gripped her hoof just a little harder. “I just feel that way.”
Derpy nuzzled his hand and looked up at him. “So that’s why you were cleaning the kitchen when I got home, huh? Because you didn’t feel like you did enough?”
“Pretty much.” He closed his eyes. “I just can’t get over it some days. That feeling that I just don’t deserve what and who I have around me. And when those days come around, I feel like I either have to lay down and take it, or do whatever I can to keep those things from leaving me. It’s like… a worthless feeling.” He opened his eyes again and looked directly into hers. “I don’t want to ever lose you, but I don’t want to hold you back either.”
Derpy’s heart felt like it was breaking into tiny, bite-sized pieces as she listened to him pour his heart out. They’d had conversations similar to this before, a natural part of life when you live with someone that has episodes of depression, but she took it to heart every single time. And she’d continue to listen and help him all throughout their future together. She loved him that much.
“Babe…” Derpy propped herself up on her hind legs and wrapped her hooves around his neck, bringing them together in a water-drenched embrace. The angle they were at was actually causing some water to splash her directly in the face, but she didn’t care and simply held him tighter. After a few more seconds of holding him against her, she gently loosened her grip while still keeping her hooves around him. She looked him in the eyes and opened up her heart.
“You know I love you, right?” Derpy’s eyes were wide and soft as she stared into his, awaiting a response.
“I could never forget,” he replied, meeting her gaze. “You show me every day.”
“Mhm,” Derpy said with a curt nod. “And I know you love me for the same reason. Like how you pack me a lunch every morning to take with me to work. You always make me my favorite sandwich and give me a snack I’ll like, too.”
He shrugged it off but gave her a small smile nonetheless. “Well yeah, I can’t let you go hungry. Besides, you deserve to have your favorite sandwich every day. Why would I pack anything else?”
“Heh, you see? Not everypony thinks that way, you know.” Derpy nuzzled his cheek. “But you do. Also, even if we’ve both had the longest, craziest, terrible-ist day, and I give you nothing but attitude when we’re both home…” Derpy chuckled, “…you still give me a shoulder rub, you still help make dinner, and you still kiss me goodnight before bed.”
Isaiah stood there with his mouth slightly ajar for a few seconds. “Well yeah, I do all that because I just… I just want to. It’s nothing special or anything, is it?”
Derpy nodded vigorously. “Yes it is. I was in a few relationships before we met and I was never treated as good as you treat me. I actually brag about you to my friends all the time because none of them get treated as well as me, either. Secretly, they’re all jealous.” Derpy snickered a bit.
“I can’t imagine why,” he responded. “I mean, I love you. A lot. Super a lot! I just want to show you and make you happy.”
“And that’s why I know you love me and care about me…” Derpy inched her head forward, closer to his. “And why I’ll never leave you and why I’ll love you until the end of time.”
Derpy restrengthened her grip around him and locked her lips against his. Kissing was nothing new for their relationship, especially after three years, but that didn’t make it any less impactful. She felt the moisture on his soft skin further dampen her hooves while she was able to take in the last bits of scent he carried that the running water and shampoo had yet to remove. It was so familiar and inviting and never got tired of it. As his lips gently traveled from her lower lip to the top, she let her body relax and fall into him. Her heart was getting rebuilt, piece by piece as they continued until it had fixed itself.
Finally, they seperated and continued to hold on to each other. Isaiah was the first to break the silence.
“Sweets, I know you probably get annoyed with my constant whining about stuff like this, and I am trying to work through it the best I can, but regardless… thanks for always hearing me out at least. It feels good to just talk about it with someone besides the doctor now and again.” He smiled at her.
“There it is,” Derpy replied, gently touching his lips with a hoof. “I've been waiting to see that smile again.” She removed her hoof and gently lowered herself back down to her hooves. “You never have to apologize or thank me or anything, by the way. You go through a lot and I just want to help in any way I can. Whether it’s waiting outside the doctor’s with you for two hours in the morning or just listening to you in the shower, hehe. I’m always by your side.”
Isaiah looked around, taking stock of his surroundings. “You know, is it just me or do we seem to have the most obnoxious, soul-searching conversations in the shower? This has gotta be like the third time now this year, right?”
Derpy laughed. “Heh, yeah, I think so. Maybe it’s just the romantic atmosphere,” she said with a playful wink at him.
“Trust me, maybe when we first got together it was romantic,” he began, sporting a smile of his own, “but nowadays we just seem to trip over each other, get soap in our eyes, or I have to wash some part of you that you’re too lazy to reach, haha. Not exactly how it’s portrayed in the books.”
The two broke out into a small fit of laughter, their voices echoing off the hard, bathroom walls. She loved that man to pieces. He was everything she ever wanted. Quirks and all.
“Do you feel any better?” Derpy asked with a hopeful smile and wide eyes.
“Yeah, I do,” Isaiah replied. “I mean, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully get rid of these feelings, but you always help me.”
“That’s part of my job,” Derpy reiterated while lightly rubbing a hoof over his hand. “Just remember to write this time down in your journal for your next appointment with Dr. Nippen Tuck. He wants to keep track of all that.”
“I know, I know,” Isaiah said with an eye roll. “I’ll get it right as soon as we’re done. Deal?”
“Deal.” Derpy nodded. “Anyway, I bet the water is about to start getting cold, so let’s finish up. Do you still feel up for going out tonight? It’s okay if you’d rather just stay inside for the night.”
He shook his head. “Nah, I wanna show you off again. Gotta make sure every pony around knows that you’re with me. I enjoy flaunting you to others.”
Depry brought a hoof to her mouth to stifle a chuckle. “Well, I don’t mind it. She quickly turned around and switched the water off. “Let’s have a great night, okay? I think we both earned it.”
“Agreed.” Isaiah stepped out of the shower and grabbed two nearby towels, one for himself and the other he tossed to his wife. “And just so you know, I’m gonna say something cheesy real quick.”
“Oh, okay,” she stated with a playful roll of the eyes. “Better get it out now.”
He winked at her. “I love you all the way to the sun and back.”
“Oh goodness,” Derpy said. “Well, I love you all the way to the sun and back… times two!”
“I love you times infinity!” He quickly butted in. “Get wrecked. You can’t beat that. I win by default.”
Derpy just shook her head and tossed the towel up and over her mane. “Okay, you win this time. But you know I’ll win eventually.”
“Hmph, well,” he said, crossing his arms. “You have the rest of our life together to try.”
“Yes I do.”
