Hymn For The Blind

by Not Enough Coffee

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Octavia, Tragedy, Profanity, Non-consensual, Sex, DJ P0N-3
Length: 10751

Octavia, unable to produce works she deems worthy of her name, has a recurring figure within her dreams. Strangely enough, the figure offers a solution to her woes.

Octavia is struggling to produce work she deems worthy of her name, and worthy of the time of her growing audience.

Octavia also struggles with insomnia and constant, emotional nightmares. Though, a most peculiar figure of a pony finds their way into every one of her haunting nightmares as a source of light in the darkness. And even more peculiar, it offers a solution to her ever growing woes.

Cover art by t72b. They make nsfw pieces of art, so I can not link their Derpi.

Edited by Ice Star, FamousLastWords, and Soaring. Were it not for these friends of mine, this story wouldn't be half of what it is.

Also pre-read by Waypoint.

Published 2020-11-09 01:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-16 23:45:39 UTC

Memento Mori

Octavia wobbled as she stood in her raft. Her hooves reached out to the sides of the tiny ship, clinging desperately for dear life.

“Sweet Celestia…” She mumbled to herself, her eyes hyper-focused on her raft.

KABOOOOM!

The piercing sound of thunder hit her eardrums like a runaway train. She quickly let go of the raft, pushing her hooves against her ears. She swiftly found herself being tossed backward, her head hitting the icy cold sea with a sudden splash!

Octavia almost took a deep breath, but as she felt the need to open her mouth, the other parts of her brain screamed for her to make the wiser decision.

She could have sworn she was crying at that moment, but the sea took all her tears away. Gritting her teeth, she tried to pull herself upward towards the surface, but quickly found herself being tossed around like pebbles in the rapids.

Blackness began to eat at the side of her vision. Whether it was from the lack of air or the sea that surrounded her, she did not know. But as swiftly as the sea tossed and turned her, it let her go, giving her the reprieve she needed to fight for her life.

Go! Go! Go!

That was all that went through her mind as she put her hooves in front of her and began to make a break for the surface. Each passing second eating away at her lungs as she felt pain, a sharp stinging sensation clawing at her chest.

Closer, closer. She had to be getting close now. Just one more…

Octavia breached the surface, taking the deepest breath she ever took in her life. She coughed and heaved. Some seawater puking out of her mouth. Her eyes burned, her lungs even more so, but she was alive.

She sent a thankful prayer to Princess Celestia. And then she sent another as she saw her raft a short distance away. It was upside down, but it was something to hold onto. That was her target. Pushing herself forward, she inched her way towards her raft.

As she eventually set her hooves upon her raft, she began to cry again. Both from relief and from her ever growing sense of fear. She then raised and promptly slammed her hoof down onto her raft with a resounding thud.

“Dammit,” she growled through gritted teeth, as she began to truly connect with the storm around her.

Bam!

Again she slammed her hoof against the raft. “Dammit all to Tartarus!” Octavia screamed, hoping whatever gods above would hear her words. She felt they deserved her curses.

Though a sudden strange sensation came below Octavia, and she felt herself begin to rise with the water below her. The sea was swelling, and it surrounded her. The hairs on the back of her neck began to stand straight; her heart sinking deep down within her being.

Octavia slowly began to look down below her, but was greeted with nothing but pitch blackness. It was darker than the sea had been prior, and that only fueled her growing anxiety.

“Oh shi—”

She found herself interrupted by the water rupturing below her, sending her flying into the air, her raft being reduced to splinters. The breath was knocked out of her, but that was the least of her worries. As she reached the climax of her ascent she saw it, the beast that crashed into her.

Its skin was pale white, sickly, and littered with barnacles. Its teeth were larger than a pony, and its eyes darker than the emptiest of night skies. Its size was incomprehensible, as the mass of the creature still lurked below the waves.

Octavia closed her eyes, both in fear of the creature, and of acceptance of what was to come. After a moment of free fall, she found herself falling headfirst back into the unforgiving sea, her lungs now pushed to the limit as she began to take in water.

She was going to drown.

A light began to caress against her eyelids, prompting her to open them one last time. As she cracked them open ever so slightly, she saw something most peculiar. The light came from what appeared to be the sun piercing the water, though in the center of it was the shape of a pony.

Where was the leviathan? Octavia wondered.

Not completely knowing why, she reached a hoof upwards towards the figure, essentially begging for it to save her life. The figure reached down towards her, its hoof drawing closer until…

Octavia shot up in her seat, her fur matted with sweat. She panted, as she reached her hooves up to the sides of her head. Her head was pounding away like a jackhammer, and the obtrusive sunlight coming in from the window beside her did little to help. She felt her stomach lurch, her hooves quickly moving towards her mouth as she tried to keep the contents of the night prior inside her. After a moment, she corrected herself, taking a deep breath.

“Thank Celestia…” she silently said in relief. Taking a look around her, she noticed her half-written notes in front of her. Her desk was a haphazard collection of musical writings.

Yet another useless night it seems, she thought to herself.

“Argh…” She grunted as she got up from her seat. Her back popping in several places as she did. She sighed. “Mmm.”

Standing on all fours, she found herself having a hard time making it to the door as she wobbled topsy turvy.

Kitchen. That was the destination she concluded. Kitchen means coffee, coffee means I can live just a little while longer.

She made her way across the hallway outside her room and then down the stairs to the living room. Unlike other living rooms, it was divided in two, one side dedicated to Octavia’s classical tastes, while the other was much more modern. Her roommates’ flavor, as it were.

Unimportant. Looking off to the side she saw her goal, the kitchen. With a spring in her step, she crossed the threshold into the kitchen and set off to brewing herself a delicious cup of coffee. She tapped a hoof against the floor over and over again as she waited for it to brew. Each second feeling like it dragged on longer than the last.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was done. Her frantic hoof steps stopped as she quickly began to pour herself a cup, her mouth salivating in anticipation. Adding her preferred creamer, prench vanilla, and a few packets of sugar, she took a sip.

She quickly set the drink down and slammed a hoof to her mouth. “Yeouch!” She mumbly screamed behind her hoof. Her palette got a rather sharp jolt of pain as the hot liquid went across it. Grumbling, she was more cautious the second time around, blowing lightly before taking a smaller swig.

“Mmm,” a smile spread across her face.

Still rather hot, but much more bearable, she concluded.

Still, there was a stiffness in her back, despite popping it earlier when she got up from her seat. Setting her drink down again, Octaviapushed her forehooves out in front of her, and arched her pack. Another round of satisfying pops rang out.

“Oooh, Celestia… That is the stuff.” She purred.

“Whatcha doing, Tavi?”

Octavia jumped, a blush creeping its way across her features. “Just stretching! Heavens me, Vinyl, you have a bad habit of sneaking up on ponies. Have I ever told you that?”

“Yeah, but I exercise my right as an Equestrian citizen to do what I want,” she snarked, making her way over to the coffee machine. As she made herself her own cup of coffee, using the rest of the sugar packets, she asked, “So, how are you this morning, roomie?’

“I am well,” Octavia replied measuredly. “Though, I did not sleep all too well, I might add.”

“That makes the two of us then,” Vinyl replied, taking a swig of her drink.

Octavia scoffed, “That’s because you don’t sleep.”

Vinyl batted her hoof at Octavia. “That’s because it’s for the weak, Tavi.” She winked before taking another swig of her drink. “Besides, I’ve been too focused on work and stuff, ya know?”

Octavia’s ears stood straight. “Hmm? And what sort of work would that be, love?”

“Hehe. As much as I’d love to give you the down low. I think I’ll be keepin’ this a secret for now.”

Octavia’s face flattened into a stern frown. “You’re no fun, Vinyl. Fine! Be that way! Keep your secrets.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes. “Oh, Tavi. You’re always in such a bad mood in the morning.”

“You would be too if you had the same dreams as I,” Octavia grumbled, quickly taking another drink from her cup to help clear her mind. Her chest began to tighten.

Concern flashed across Vinyl’s face. “Is everything alright? Wanna talk about it?”

Yes! Yes, please! Let’s talk!

“No. Not particularly,” she replied with a tilt of her head, her voice cracking slightly. Building just a teensy bit of courage, however, she asked, “Though, have you seen any strange figures in your dreams? Like a pony or something?”

Vinyl looked to the ceiling and then the walls for answers. “Well, I mean I see all sorts of strange ponies and stuff in my dreams. I’m not sure I’d call that weird, though. Seems kinda normal to me.”

“No. That’s not what I’m trying to ask, Vinyl…” Octavia sighed.

“Then what are you trying to ask? I ain’t following,” Vinyl sighed in turn.

“Well. Again, Vinyl. Exactly what I said before, have you seen strange figures in your dreams? And I mean it, have you seen them? Something otherworldly, like it doesn’t belong in your dreams? That’s what I mean.” Octavia looked into her roommate’s eyes pleadingly. “Please. I need to know…”

Vinyl put a hoof on Octavia’s shoulder and replied. “Tavi, if anything comes up, I promise I’ll let you know. Alright?”

Octavia placed her hoof on top of Vinyl’s. “Good. Good. Thank you, love.” She departed from the slight embrace, finishing off the rest of her drink. “I’ll be up in my room working on my compositions if you need me. And Vinyl?”

“Yes, Tavi?”

“Thanks for the conversation as always. You don’t know how much I truly appreciate it.”

“Anytime, buddy!” Vinyl smiled, and replied enthusiastically.

Octavia then exited the room to return to her work.

Octavia felt constricted breathing in the stagnant air around her. Though, as she tried to ignore that sensation she found herself looking down at her own reflection.

She slammed a hoof into the pond water. The reflection was washed away.

She sighed.

Raising her head away from the pond she got a look at her surroundings. As far as her eyes could see she saw a field of beautiful white flowers. There was not a single other soul to be found. Octavia smiled, her breathing growing steady.

Taking a quick glance behind her, she saw the soul-crushing shadow of the woods. The dead branches hanging over her, blocking out the sunlight that came from the field before her. Her breathing grew uneasy.

Turning again, she made her way towards the field tentatively. A sudden breeze then blew against her back, adding wind to her sails and encouraging her action. As she entered the field she took in a deep breath through her muzzle.

“Mmm.” The smell was pleasant, though she tilted her head to the side.

How odd, she mused. Have I smelled these before?

Shaking her thoughts from her head she carried on through the field. Though she kept sniffing at the air. Every now and then letting out a delighted moan.

Her chest began to twist, her breathing growing more and more rapid. Her eyes darted left and then right over and over. Sweat began to drip from her brow and her pupils shrank to pinpricks. She dropped to the ground, hooves to the side of her head.

Stop! Stop! Not now! Please! Not now!

“Tavi? Are you alright? Tavi!?”

Octavia’s eyes shot open, while her breathing accelerated further. “V-Vinyl?” She shakily breathed. “I-Is that you?” Standing up on all fours, she turned to the sound of the voice, her heart skipping a beat.

Octavia opened her mouth, but nothing came, except for the sound of Vinyl’s voice, which flittered in-between her eardrums like a bass tuned low. She closed it, opened again but much the same.

“Ain’t that just like you, huh?” Vinyl spoke, an edge of malice to her voice. “What, ya gonna head on up to your room again? For Celestia’s sake…” Vinyl took a step closer to her. “You never listen to me do you? You just take my words and toss them out the fucking window!”

Octavia opened her mouth again but was quickly cut off before she could begin.

“Shut up. Listen for once in your life.” Vinyl growled. “Fuck it! What does it even matter if you do listen? You’ll just hide in your room again and forget everything I fucking say.”

Tears fell down Octavia’s face. “V-Vy…”

“You heard me, Tavi. You gonna run away now and cry? Is that what you’re gonna do?” Vinyl stared deeply into Octavia’s tear-filled eyes. “Well fucking do it already, alright!? Fucking do it already!”

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Octavia’s heart began to beat into overdrive, her adrenaline kicking in full force. She quickly turned around before Vinyl could take another step towards her and fled further into the field of white flowers. She felt her stomach lurch, barely able to hold back the contents therein. Tears clouded her vision and she had no idea where she was running. She just ran further and further and further still.

Anywhere, she thought. Anywhere but here!

She felt herself begin to heat up, her vision filled with oranges and reds. Stopping, she took note of the surroundings. Fire. All around her the fields of white flowers were aflame.

The fields looked closer to Tartarus than anything on Equestria.

“This ain’t your room, is it?” asked Vinyl, speaking down to Octavia.

“I ain’t letting you run away again. You’re gonna stay with me and fucking listen for once in your life. Don’t you even give the tiniest of shits about what I have to say, Tavi? Well, do you?” Vinyl Began to scream in frustration. “You know what? I don’t give a shit if you do or not!”

Vinyl raised her hooves into the air and slammed them down to the ground. A shadow began to move from where her hooves impacted, making their way towards Octavia.

Octavia backed away, but the flames around her stopped her from going far.

“Wait! Don’t!” Octavia screamed in protest, but it was too late. The shadow went below her, and she felt herself begin to fall into it. The world she was once in just a glimmer of light above her as she fell into the shadow further and further.

Yet as she stared up at the light she saw it once again. The figure of the pony was looking down at her. It reached its hoof down towards her, and she reached a hoof up towards it in kind and…

Octavia shot up once again covered in sweat. She felt like she was melting away with how drenched her fur was. Holding herself tightly, she felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. She sniffed, fighting to hold them back but it was to no avail. They began to fall down her face one after another, turning her into a sniveling mess.

She then quickly got up from her seat and found the nearest trash can. The contents of her stomach filled it, her tears mixing with her previous meal, “Fuck…” She hurled.

After a moment of leaning over the trash can, she got up. Whatever was left to give was already gone within the bin. Her head spun a bit as she stood on all fours, the world around her a bleary mess of objects and walls.

Shaking her head, she tried to right herself. Taking a deep break she made her way towards the door. “Urgh…”

As she reached a hoof towards the doorknob she felt herself stop.

Vinyl is no doubt down in the living room right now.

“Good,” she said to herself as she twisted the doorknob. But she felt herself stop before it clicked.

“You gonna run away now and cry? Is that what you’re gonna do?”

“No… No…” She spoke to herself again. Her eyes looking intently at the door unwavering.

“Don’t you even give the tiniest of shits about what I have to say, Tavi? Well do you?”

“Argh!” Octavia screamed, trotting back into her room. She took a few deep breaths and then turned to look at the door once again.

It was just a dream.

Trotting back to it she reached her hoof out. Though, she felt herself stop and put her hoof back down to the ground.

Come on! It was just a dream! Open the door! Now!

She swiftly placed her hoof on the doorknob. Twisting it until it clicked open.

Deep breath in. Let it out. So familiar now…

Octavia sighed, and shut the door. Turning once again she went to her desk and sat down. She dipped her quill in its ink vial and began to muse again on her compositional work.

It’s what she was thinking. You know it to be true. It’s what Vinyl was thinking.

“No.” She spoke to nopony.

Vinyl is my best friend. That was just a dream. Nothing else.

Cut the bullshit. You’re just coping. It’s what she was thinking. You’re totally in denial right now!

Those words, despite being her own, came off as foregin, almost as if another pony had crawled into her brain and was demanding her mind to play tricks on her.

Octavia growled, snapping the quill in her hoof in two. Throwing it off into the disgusting bin at the side of her desk, she got up and made her way to the door again. Not even hesitating this time, she opened it and made her way into the hallway and quickly down the stairs to the living room.

You’re going to regret it. You always do. Spoke the voice again.

Octavia shook her head and did her best to ignore it. As she entered the living room she saw her roommate and let out a sigh of relief. She was busy working on whatever she was doing, but Octavia didn’t care.
“Vinyl?” She called softly.

She was greeted by Vinyl continuing to toil away at whatever it was she was doing.

Octavia’s brow furrowed. “Vinyl,” Octavia called again, a hint of frustration entering her voice.

Nothing.

With yet another failed attempt at getting her roommates’ attention, she found the frustration she was feeling grow stronger.

And her desire was slowly slipping away.

“Vinyl!” she exclaimed.

The unicorn leaped in her seat, her glasses nearly falling off her face. Vinyl took note of Octavia’s presence and straightened herself. “Huh? Wha? Oh, hey! Is everything alright?”

Despite the smile Vinyl put on, Octavia still felt herself boiling, a distinct heat burning on her face, searing it with the ever-mounting frustration in her body.

She’s going to make you regret talking to her again…

“Have you seen strange figures in your dreams?”

Vinyl squinted. “Seriously? I thought we went over this already!” She rubbed her temples and sighed. “I told you if anything came up I’d tell you. It’s only been a day for Celestia’s sake.”

“I know. I know.” Octavia began. “Vinyl, please… Have you seen strange figures in your dreams?”

Regret it…

“I have to know. You don’t understand, I need to know!” Octavia raised her voice unintentionally.

Vinyl exhaled. “No. You know what, Tavi? I don’t think I do.” She crossed her legs and took off her shades. She then looked her roommate in the eyes. “Can you just take a moment to relax. Like, what in Equestria are you expecting of me?”

“Answers. I don’t know. Anything.” Octavia failed to hide how hurt she looked from Vinyl’s words.

Regret it. I told you so.

“Seriously, Vinyl. I am not playing around. This is very important to me… Please.”

“I know it is!” Vinyl’s hooves shot up in the air as she uncrossed her legs. “Trust me, Tavi. I know.” She sighed. “But ya gotta understand. I don’t have anything to say. I told you everything yesterday. And considering it was only yesterday, nothing new has come of it on my end.”

“Maybe you need to take a break from work.” Vinyl suggested. “You’re obviously stressed out about it, and it’s messing with your head.”

Octavia opened her mouth but was quickly cut off.

“I get it. You feel the need to continue on with whatever it is you’re doing, but trust me on this. You keep doing what you’re doing now and you’re going to regret it.”

Octavia’s eyes went wide.

Told you so.

“Were it so easy…” Octavia spoke softly.

“Fucking really?” Vinyl huffed.

Octavia turned away from Vinyl, heading on back to her room.

“Alright.” Vinyl said as she looked down to the ground. “I guess that’s just how it’s gonna be today.” She couldn’t help but slam her hoof down to the ground once Octavia exited the room.

Octavia stood high above the world. She was so high up, in fact, that all that surrounded her was empty space. The only thing with her was the tiny little dot of light below her, which was much too far away from her to have any contact with it.

She felt her breathing grow unsteady looking down at the light. So, she decided to turn away from it and trot away.

Turn around now.

No…”

Since when were you the one in control?

She felt herself freeze in place, no longer in control of her own muscles. In one swift jerk, she turned around and made her way back over the edge that overlooked the world. Down below was the same insignificant light as before, twinkling away into the deadness of the night.

Jump.

“I can’t!” she screamed in protest.

Let it all go and jump already.

“No! I can’t! Let go of me!” She tried to twist away but to no avail. “I said let go of me!” No matter how much she fought for control, control never came. The light from below grew brighter, and the will to fight grew weaker.

“No… Please…”

“Come on, Tavi. Just jump already,” prompted a louder, more prominent voice.

Octavia felt just enough power over herself to look up. Her heart sank as she saw the vague outline of Vinyl staring daggers down upon her. No love came from those magenta orbs.

“W-Why?” Octavia solemnly asked.

She was meant with a sneer and a shrill whinny from Vinyl. “You already know the answer to that question. Don’t give me that shit.” Vinyl drew closer. “You’re never gonna get what you want. Face it! You’re a fucking disgrace. You couldn’t even take my advice yesterday without making an ass out of yourself. Pathetic.”

Tears fell once again from Octavia’s eyes. Wet, familiar, and so incredibly like her.

“See ya.” Vinyl said before dissipating into thin air.

Octavia was left alone once again. Nothing but her tears to keep her company. She wanted to walk away, head all the way to her room and shut the world away. But she couldn’t move.

Jump.

“I can’t.”

You will.

“I won’t!”

Then you choose death? Is that correct?

“I chose to work another day.”

Then jump. Everything you desire is within the light.

“Even so…”

There is no ‘even so.’ Jump.

Octavia placed one hoof over the edge, the light peering deep within her soul.

Good. Just one more step to absolution.

Closing her eyes she set her hoof down onto thin air and leaned forward, letting gravity do the rest. She felt the wind rush past her as she fell, and despite her eyes being closed she could clearly see the light as if they were still open.

Though, despite seeing the light so clearly with closed eyes, she cracked them open ever so slightly to get a better look.

And there it was again. The figure of the pony, and it was reaching out to her from the light. With some strain, Octavia reached out in turn, their hooves touching until…

Octavia shot up from her seat. Yet another nightmare on the growing pile of unpleasant dreams. Taking a few more of the already thousands of deep breaths she took the past few days, she began to settle down.

I’m getting tired of this, she thought, an odd feeling of calmness washing over her.

“As you should, Miss Octavia.”

Octavia jumped, the feeling of calmness being snuffed away. There was somepony in her room with her. There was somepony there and it was watching her. The hairs on her neck stood on end, and she couldn’t find the will to turn and face it.

“There’s no reason to be afraid now. I’m not here to hurt you, dear,” spoke the pony, whose voice was deep, yet soothing. If this were any other circumstances, Octavia might have felt smitten by it.

“Please, do turn around in your seat. We have much to discuss, Miss Octavia.”

She didn’t listen. Her fright was just too much. She couldn’t even open her mouth to scream. Yet somehow her body refused to obey her orders. Turning around in her seat she got a good look at the mysterious stallion in her room.

It’s him!

“Yes. It is I.” He flashed a toothy grin. “As I said prior, we have much to discuss.”

His coat was a pale white, his eyes almost glowing from how bright of a blue they were. Most peculiar was his mane color, a light gray on top of his nearly blindingly white coat. He appeared to be youthful in build, yet everything about him screamed of an old soul. It unnerved Octavia greatly, making her jitter in her skin.

“I know you must be rather shaken right now, but I spoke truthfully earlier. You will not be harmed, I promise you that,” he said with conviction, a coy smile plastering his features.

it did little to settle Octavia’s blaring nerves.

He chuckled. “If it’s any comfort to you, this isn’t your room.”

This caught Octavia’s attention and she found her voice. “W-What do you mean?”

The stallion leaned in. “You’re still dreaming. I just so happened to pull you away from your previous one a few minutes ago. No need to thank me.”

Octavia looked around her, looking for any imperfections that would allude to this being someplace other than her room, but she found none.

“I chose this place because it’s where you feel most comfortable. Is that not correct?” He never let go of his toothy grin, his voice continued to speak measuredly. “Now. Pay attention, Miss Octavia. I know you’ll love what I have to say next.”

Her interest fully piqued, she sat up straight and looked him in the eyes.

“Good. Good.” The stallion leaned back and relaxed himself. “I’m sorry it took me so long to finally speak with you here and now, but with how turbulent your mind has been, it was hard to reach out to you.”

“Y-You really a-are the pony who’s been w-watching me in my dreams? A-Aren’t you?” Octavia asked shakily.

“Yes I am.”

“But why?” Octavia asked more forcefully.

“Why what, Miss Octavia? Please use your words.”

Correcting herself, she began to speak her next words more carefully. “Who are you? Why have you been visiting me night after night? Why won’t you leave me alone!?” She screamed at the end, losing composure.

The stallion smirked. “Because I’m as much a part of you as anything else in there.” He pointed a hoof at her head. “I guess you can call me your subconscious.”

“Y-You are?”

“Yes. And I’m here to complete you.”

An ominous chill washed over Octavia, surrounding her with its icy grip. “Get the fuck away from me you… You…”

“You what?” he asked. “I just told you I’m a part of you. I’ll never leave.” He chuckled. “I know all too well what troubles you. You hate your music, loathe it with every fiber of your being.”

Octavia’s attention was grabbed again. “What in Tartarus do you mean?”

“I know what you want. I’m merely here to give it to you.” He stood up and looked down upon her. “I’m a piece of you that has been neglected for far too long.” He reached a hoof out to her. “There’s no need to worry. Take my hoof and you’ll wake up refreshed and ready to produce the magnum opus you so desperately desire.”

Octavia batted his hoof away. “Fuck you. I don’t trust a single word you’ve just said.” She got up from her seat and backed away slowly. “Even if what you’ve promised is true, there’s a catch. There’s always a catch!”

“Tsk. Tsk, Miss Octavia. This simply will not do.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Well, whatever the case. It’s clear we’re gonna have to continue this another night. Until then.” He looked her in the eyes mischievously, a certain fire hiding behind his pupils. “Sweet dreams.”

Octavia suddenly felt herself falling backwards, slowly as if falling into a tub of viscous molasses. The stallion before dissipated, leaving no trace he was ever there. Octavia felt her eyes instinctively shut themselves. Next thing she felt was herself lying in bed, unable to move and breath.

Wake up!

Forcing every fiber of her being to listen to her command, she breathed in rapidly as she shot up in bed. The sun was shining in through her windowsill, and it did little to compliment her splitting headache.

“For the love of Celestia…” she groaned.

Another nightmare, it seems. How typical.

“Urgh. Whatever.”

Vinyl’s right. It was probably stress related.

Looking off to her side she saw her desk again. The contents on top of it were a complete disaster as she failed to write a single piece of music that was worthwhile.

Her stomach grumbled but she paid it no mind. Food could wait, she had work to do.

“I know all too well what troubles you. You hate your music, loathe it with every fiber of your being.”

She felt herself cringe as the words washed over her psyche.

“Take my hoof and you’ll wake up refreshed and ready to produce the magnum opus you so desperately desire.”

The words echoed off the walls of her mind, making her mood sour instantly. Looking once again at her mess on her desk, she laid back down and looked up at the ceiling.

Maybe I should have taken his hoof after all?

Shaking her head, she tried to let that thought disappear. Getting up from bed she made her way over to her desk and began to work again.

Author's Note

End of Part One.

The uploads won't be quick, as I'm pouring everything I have to make this story as perfect as can be. I will be working diligently on it, as this story is important to me, and I want it to mean something to you.

I suffer from chronic nightmares, and this is a way for me to turn that into creative fuel.

Running Out Of Teardrops

Octavia tapped her hoof against the stone floor anxiously, turning her head to and fro. All she saw were two ends of a hallway, one end empty, the other…

She quickly galloped down towards the emptiness, her breathing growing more frantic by the second. Turning the corner at the end, she was greeted by a large door. Not wasting a moment, she pushed it open with all her strength, and fell to the ground inside.

“Dammit!” she exclaimed. All that greeted her was an empty bedroom: the typical bed, and dresser combo. It was sterile, which only heightened Octavia’s nerves.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The hair on Octavia’s neck stood up straight, and a terrifying chill crawled down her back. It was drawing near.

Octavia gulped and steadied her shaking hooves, turning around to swiftly slam the door shut. She then grabbed a chair next to the nearby desk and barred the door shut. Taking a few tentative steps back, she began to eye the room for any form of escape.

There were no windows; no secret passageways. Octavia was trapped.

Dammit all to Tartarus.

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.

The hoofsteps grew louder with each passing second, making Octavia whimper with worry. She kept backing away from the door until her hindquarters came to a stop against a wall. She pushed against it, but to her dismay, she couldn’t push past it.

She looked around the room once again, hoping desperately for some form of escape, but much to her dismay, she found nothing. No other doors, or windows to jump out of. She was trapped, and the dread of her situation made her claw at her heart, clenching her chest in pain.

A few tears escaped past her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Their warm touch did little to take the chill off her frigid, fearful body. She felt herself collapse to the ground, her forehooves tucking themselves snug over her face.

The world around her slowed down, the approaching hoofsteps coming in at a lesser pace. Flinching and closing her eyes, she attempted to find any sort of comforting thoughts and feelings, but it bore her little fruit.

Just get it over with. Please! Just get it over with already…

Octavia waited with baited breath, sweat slowly slipping down her brow. She waited so long it felt like she would be stuck in that moment of time for the rest of her existence. She waited for that fateful drumming of the door.

Yet it never came.

She carefully raised her head from her hooves to look upon the door. It looked as plain as it did prior, the dreadful sound no longer twisting the form of such a boring, everyday object. Octavia gently lifted herself off the ground, her knees buckling a little. She was still flooded with emotion.

She took one step forward, and then promptly took another step back. Each time she tried to approach the door to examine it she felt an invisible force push her against the wall. The door was unapproachable.

Octavia’s eyes went wide as she saw the door cave inward before it violently, broke free of its hinges, and came sailing right at her. Without thinking, she ducked back down to the ground, the door crashing into the wall behind her, shattering into thousands of pieces and pelting her body as it fell upon her.

Some of the sharper projectiles pierced into her back, making her unable to move. Blearily, she looked up to see what she was running from prior.

“You’re not gonna escape me that easily, Tavi,” Vinyl spoke down to Octavia, eyeing her battered form with disgust.

“Urgh…” Octavia moaned. “Urck.” She then spit out some of the blood that had been collecting in her mouth.

“Well, there’s no more running now.” Vinyl approached her, each hoofstep echoing off the walls.

Octavia looked away, spitting out more and more blood as it spilled into her mouth.

“Why aren’t you looking at me? Hey, you stupid bitch, why aren’t you looking at me?” Vinyl slammed her hooves down to the ground, growling in frustration. “Can’t you ever give me your undivided fucking attention for just a single, solitary second?”

Vinyl knelt down towards Octavia, using a hoof to move her head back into focus. “What? Nothing to say? Of course not. You never have anything useful to say...”

Octavia spat blood onto Vinyl’s face. “Go to Tartarus,” she managed to gargle out.

Vinyl quickly pulled away from her. “AAAAAARH!” She raised her hooves up again, this time aiming for Octavia.

Octavia, her vision going black, spotted the pale pony hovering behind Vinyl. He had a wicked grin, his eyes unblinking as he watched Vinyl slam her hooves down onto Octavia with a sickening crack...

“Just give in already, Miss Octavia. Your protests only weaken yourself.”

“Is this some sort of game?” Octavia growled, slamming her hooves into the ground.

The stallion vanished into thin air before appearing behind Octavia, whispering in her ear. “This isn’t a game, and I mean that most sincerely.”

Octavia jumped, turning around quickly to meet yet more empty air. “Just drop this act, for Celestia’s sake, drop it!”

“It’s not I who needs to drop it.” The stallion’s voice seemed to come from all directions. “I only exist because of you. I am as much a part of you as any other part of that fragile little mind of yours. You want me gone? Then embrace me.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” Octavia screamed, tipping over and slamming her dresser down to the ground. She didn’t care if this was her room she was thrashing, she needed to release the boiling anger building within her.

“Temper, temper.”

Octavia batted the air around her in a vain attempt to silence the stallion's voice. “GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!”

“Not after you get whatever’s up your tailhole out of your system, try and be a dear and listen to my words.”

Octavia collapsed to the ground, digging her hooves into her mane manically. “OUT! OUT! OUT!” With each word she ripped more and more of her hair from her mane, the pain doing little to block the agonizing words of the pony who tormented her so.

“Perhaps another time then? Hmm? See you tomorrow night. I’m sure next time will be the one you finally see reason and accept my help. You obviously need it.” He snickered, his voice slowly fading away into the ether.

Octavia felt like her lungs were giving in, as she gasped for every breath. Her entire world felt like it was crumbling around her, to the point that the walls started surrounding her, towering over her like a dark blanket that shrouded her from herself, only she heard those pale pony’s words circling around her mind, tormenting her.

I just want to be left alone…

Octavia felt aware of herself. Opening her eyes lethargically, the world around here appeared as nothing more than shapes and colors circling around her room. But ever so slightly the world began to come into focus, letting her mind wake up into a sickening reality as she felt the bile of her stomach churn in protest to her awakening. Despite the overbearing anxiety building within her from the nightmares prior, she found herself fighting desperately to get just a few more winks of sleep from her weary mind.

“Urgh…” She groaned, rubbing at her eyes. She was waking up.

The ball twisting within her constricted with even more tension, making her lose track of just how shallow and rapid her breathing had become.

Octavia buried her head into her pillow, dampening it with her tears.

Get up.

“No…”

GET. UP.

Octavia shot up in her bed, grabbing hold of her moisture-riddled pillow, and tossing it across the room in frustration. “Get out of my head!”

Octavia’s breathing grew even more rapid, making her head spin every which way. She eventually found herself collapsing back onto her bed, pillowless. Closing her eyes and with no strength left within her fractured being, sleep took over once again.

A stray beam of light crossed over Octavia’s closed eyes, making her twist her body to and fro to avoid it. It was too late, however.

Octavia was waking up once again. She rubbed at her eyes and yawned. Opening them the world became a blur, a pounding sensation drilling its way through her head.

“Ngh!” She grumbled before sighing.

Yep. Another morning…

Against her will she got out of bed, her knees weakly supporting her body. She looked towards her bedroom door, its size seemingly growing more intimidating the more she peered at it.

She shook her head back and forth with a fervor.

Just go out the door, Octavia.

No.

Yes.

But I can’t!

No! You just choose not to!

Octavia’s stomach growled. She moved the empty bowls and cups around her desk, looking to see if there was any leftover food she missed from days prior. To her misfortune, all of it was already eaten.

“Dammit…” She mumbled, looking at the door again.

You have to leave your room, Octavia.

I know… It’s just…

You’ll die otherwise.

I already feel like death.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Octavia’s eyes went wide, her heart rate picking up in pace. “W-who’s there?”

“It’s me, Tavi!” called Vinyl from the other side of the door. “You, uh, doin’ alright? I haven’t seen ya for like... a day now. Kinda strange not seeing you get your morning coffee and all, ya know?”

Octavia felt her lips curl. Whether it was a smile or frown, she could not tell. “I’m okay, really. Just, you know, busy.”

There was a tense pause.

“You’re always busy. How about we go out tonight and have some fun? Get away from work and just let loose! It’s been a hot second.”

Octavia’s heart skipped a beat at the thought. “I-I don’t know, I think I’m pretty close to getting this piece just right. I just need a little more time, is all. But I promise we’ll go out soon.”

Or you’re just a coward as always.

Octavia shook her head once again, knocking a hoof atop her head in a vain attempt to repeal the voice.

“But you never get out, Tavi! Besides, your work will still be here when you get back.”

“And so will whatever it is you plan on doing. We can do that some other day. I really am... b-busy.” She sighed, looking over the scraps of paper littered across the floor.

You’re a mess. Can’t even clean your room, and you expect to get anything fucking done?

Octavia hit her head harder than before, holding back the need to yell so Vinyl wouldn’t have to hear her.

I thought I told you to go to Tartarus!

I’ll see you there. Perhaps then you’ll be willing to listen for once.

“I mean. If you really don’t wanna go, then I guess I can’t force ya to. But, if you change your mind, I’ll be around the house for a bit longer. Just say the word, alright?”

Octavia heard the hoofsteps on the other side of the door slowly fade away.

You’ll never learn…

“Urgh...” Octavia growled through gritted teeth. She marched toward her bedroom door, ripping it open. Looking down the hall she saw her friend looking back at her with concern on her face. “Alright, Vinyl. I guess I’m in need of a good night out on the town, after all.”

Vinyl quickly found her concern shifting into jubilation. “Fuck yeah, let’s get going then!”

Octavia took a bite from her hayburger, quickly chewing away and swallowing. She took no time to savor the flavor.

“Enjoying yourself, huh?” asked Vinyl across from her.

“I suppose...” Octavia replied, taking another bite.

Food just all tastes the same after a while…

“Is that why you’re literally inhaling the damn thing?” Vinyl said with a laugh.

“Well, I am hungry, you know. That’s why we stopped here, to eat. I’m eating.”

“Oh come on now, lighten up. You’re finally out of your room and doing something social for once! No need to be so, oh what’s the word, testy.”

“Mmm.” Octavia ignored Vinyl, focusing on her food. She felt a weight begin to push down on her withers, like a blanket, only less comforting. She hoped with each bite that some of her misery might be suppressed, but she was let down with each swallow as she only felt worse as the night wore on.

Vinyl shifted in her seat. “Is, uh, is everything cool?”

“Yes, everything is perfectly fine, Vinyl. I’m just… I don’t know, I’m just tired. It’s hard to think.” She set her hayburger down, looking out the window to her side.

“But you’re always sleeping, Tavi. How can you be so tired all the time?”

Octavia’s features soured. “It’s a kinda tired sleep can’t fix, I suppose.”

Only because you keep refusing to listen.

Octavia sighed, “Sorry, I think…”

“Think what?” Vinyl asked with concern.

“I… I don’t know. Let’s just, uh, finish our meal and move on with today. I’d like that.” Octavia went back to her food, while Vinyl deep-dived into hers. Silence crept over them awkwardly, Vinyl constantly looking towards Octavia, mouth quivering with the need to say something, anything.

Yet the words never came.

“I think I want to go home…” Octavia shakily whispered.

“Huh? What was that?”

“I want to go home, Vinyl.” Octavia got up from her seat.

“Whoa whoa whoa! What do you mean? I just got you out of the house, and you’re heading back already?” Vinyl prodded, some frustration seeping into her voice.

Octavia rubbed the ridge of her muzzle. “I just got to… Ah, whatever!” She made her way to the door before Vinyl could voice her objection. She dumped her tray’s contents into the garbage and threw it on the designated shelf, creating a loud smack that got the whole restaurant’s attention. The sudden attention made Octavia’s nerves flare, nervousness desperately fluttering inside her. She exited the building before they could say anything.

“Celestia dammit, Tavi.” Vinyl said to herself before looking at the sea of eyes wandering towards her. “Mind your own damn business, everypony! Jeez!”

You just had to mess that up too, Octavia.

Octavia took a deep breath, looking over the side of the bridge she found herself on. Her reflection looked back at her from the water below.

“I wish I could just wash these thoughts away…” She felt her eyes grow moist with tears, unable to control her own emotions. “I just want to be rid of this…”

Her heart sank as the visage of herself in the water rippled away, vanishing before her sight. Before she could look away, rippling back was the image of the pale pony from her nightmares. He grinned with satisfaction.

“You’re not going to be rid of me that easily. You already know this.”

Octavia growled. “Why can’t you take a hint?!”

He narrowed his brow. “I can say much the same. Look at you, Octavia. You can’t even relax with your friend and have a good time. It’s just work, work, work, and what for?”

Octavia slammed her hooves against the railing of the bridge. “Shut it. Just shut it!”

He shook his head. “Nothing. You will get nothing from it, and you’ll continue to get nothing unless you, well, you know.”

“I’m done talking!” Octavia forced herself away from staring at the stallion, only to be greeted by a mare on the other side of the bridge eyeing her up judgmentally.

Thump Thump.

Octavia felt her heart rate shoot up as stress began to weigh down upon her.

Did she hear me Dear Celestia you’re such a fool Get away Get away now But don’t let her see you for who you are don’t let her see Why won’t she look away Please just look away!

Octavia felt herself beginning to hyperventilate. She began to frantically claw her way through the air, trying to make her retreat, only for the image of the mare berating her for her every step.

Come on, please! Forget it, why can’t you just forget about her!

Because you won’t let yourself, you absolute mess of a pony.

Quiet you! Just leave me alone. Everypony leave me alone!

It’ll never end, as I said. Just look around you.

Taking control of herself, she took a glance at her surroundings. Eyes, ponies all around her. Staring, always staring, always looking. She was trapped.

In came her breathing, out went her feelings. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over.

They see the real you: pathetic, miserable, disturbed. It’s like you’re not even a pony. You’re just an empty shell of one.

“Go away!” Octavia shouted, startling the crowd. She found her voice vanish as soon as it came, as the ponies continued to leer at her, their brows contorting into all sorts of judgmental expressions.

Get away. I gotta get away. Why can’t they just leave me alone?

Because you’re disturbing the peace, Miss Octavia. It’s all so simple, yet you can’t see it.

I see perfectly fine! It’s you—you’re doing this to me! It’s all your fault! Get out of my damned head, you bloody monster!

“Argh!” Octavia grunted, making a beeline back home, trying her damndest to ignore the looks of all the ponies watching her mad escape. But their visages clouded her vision. She closed her eyes to get away from their lifeless gazes, only for them to strengthen their grip over her. She knew that keeping them open only heightened the terror racking every inch of her brain.

Octavia felt the warmth of fresh tears biting at the seams of her eyes. She dared not look anymore, for her sorrow and fear halted such ideas.

WHAM!

Octavia felt herself knocked back onto her haunches as she crashed into something akin to a brick wall. Shaking herself from her stupor, she broke her internal anguish long enough to pass a glance at exactly what she ran into.

Or, more importantly, who.

Standing above her was a large stallion of red fur and autumn hair. “Ya okay, miss?” His voice low, concerned.

Octavia shivered profusely, her cheeks stained with moisture, while her mane was the definition of disharmony. “No. I...” She stopped. Looking away towards home.

So far away…

She got up from the ground, looking back towards the stallion. “Sorry, er?”

“Big Mac.”

“Right, Sorry, Mr. Big Mac. I need to leave...” Before Big Mac could protest, Octavia was already dashing away once more, this time paying more attention to her surroundings.

Such a fool. You’re such a damn fool.

Octavia locked her bedroom door and dove onto her bed. She tried to move her body more, but it ached in protest, resulting in nothing more than a vain attempt of moving her hooves. Despite how exhausted she was, she battled to keep her eyes open, eyes focused on the desk across from her bed.

I don’t want to sleep. Not anymore, not ever again. Please!

Octavia closed her eyes, opening them shortly after. “Ugh… Get up.” She wiggled her hind hooves in protest to her failing body. “Get… Up.”

Shifting slightly to the side, she fell off the side of her bed and onto the hardwood floor below with a thud.

“Yeouch!” She yelped, rubbing her muzzle to ease the pain. “At least I’m up again.” She took a deep breath, letting out the pain that was building with her. “See, I didn’t need to sleep after all. And I thought you were clever, you damned stallion.”

Oh, are you really up?

“Yes. Of course, I am! What are you on about?” Octavia questioned with annoyance. “I am up, standing here in my room and fit for work on my music. You have no power over me, so just beat it!”

Do be wary not to look down, Miss Octavia. I know your poor heart can’t take much more.

“Huh? Wha-” Octavia began, letting her eyes wander down below only to be greeted with nothing. Below her was empty darkness, blacker than black, an all-consuming nothingness. Before she could open her mouth to object to her current predicament, she felt a heavy force push down on her, making her sink into the ground before her.

“Ngh! No! Stop this at once! Why can’t you just let me be? Why can’t I just be rid of you?!”

It’s simple, really. You don’t want to be rid of me, you refuse to be rid of me. If you truly didn’t desire what I am you’ve never even seen me in the first place. Tell me, after all is said and done, after you do claim ownership of yourself once more, can you really go back to how things were before?

Octavia heard harsh laughter echo around her as she sunk further and further below.

You can’t ever go back to how it was before. Your life will always be moving forward, and I along with each step will be there with you. Even in just a memory, I’ll be worming my way into your life one way or another. Face it, you need me. Embrace me and you’ll be free. I promise. When have I ever lied before? I doubt you’d even know if I did, so what does it matter! What does any of this even matter to you!

Octavia tried to open her mouth in protest, but was swiftly cut off by a tendril of inky blackness lashing out from the pool below. It wrapped itself around her mouth, forcing her to listen without any word of her own against her inner demon.

NOTHING REALLY MATTERS TO YOU!

WAKE UP, WORK, SLEEP, REPEAT!

FOR WHAT?

NOTHING.

NOTHING! FOR THERE IS NOTHING YOU GAIN FROM SUCH EXPERIENCE!

Silence. Octavia was now only a head above the darkness consuming her.

You merely float on through life without truly living and I wish to fix that. Can’t you see? It’ll all be so much easier if you’d just listen. So please listen.

Octavia bit down on the tendril wrapped around her, making it let go.

“No! I’m not going to listen to you and your cheap tricks! JUST. LEAVE. ME. BE!”

Then you are a fool… So be it. You leave me no choice. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Struggling to keep her head afloat, Octavia strained in vain as she was consumed by the darkness before her, trapping her in its sickly surroundings.

Octavia lurched forward, but felt she was restrained as her head swung back down to earth. Gasping, coughing, and sputtering she tried to gather her bearings. Familiar dark surrounded her, her vision snuffed from clarity, her senses washed over with a cloud of uncertainty.

She tried to move her hooves, but found them too restrained to the earth below. Though, wiggling them around a bit, she noted they were bound from what felt like a well-used, coarse rope.

Slowly, she began to hear what sounded like the rustling of some sort of little vermin scurrying about the darkness underneath her. She assumed she was atop some sort of platform, being held down like a prisoner.

What is this place? Octavia questioned, her eyes adjusting just a bit to the lack of light. Memories of the demented tormentor that haunted her came flooding back suddenly, making her lurch forward once again. And much like before she felt herself slammed back down due to her restraints.

“Damn you!” she screamed, her voice harsh, rough like she had been without water and a voice of her own in ages.

Much to her surprise, there was no retort from the pale pony, no whispers, no utterances clawing at her mind and consciousness. That disturbed her more than anything he could possibly spit at her.

Again she pushed against her restraints, desperately trying to be free from their grasp. Yet nothing came of it more than a few sore joints and peeled skin. She gasped at the air, its staleness only furthering the soreness growing in her throat.

She laid there, continuing to breathe in the air, hoping that there would be some sort of solution to her predicament if she just waited long enough. She thought if she begged hard enough to some higher power, she would be let free.

But nobody came.

Trapped, slowly losing her sense of time, she laid there as a pitiful form of her former self. She lacked even the capacity to let tears sail sadly down her cheeks. The pools behind her weary eyes all but dried up along with her will.

When she found herself forgetting how to even think, a new noise made itself known to her. Across from her, a door began to creak open, a harsh light seeping into her prison. She tried to force her head away from the growing illumination, but her head could only turn so far before it was forced to stop.

She had no choice but to look at the figure making its way into the room. It appeared as but a shadow, as the light snuffed away the features of the pony making its way towards her. Stallion? Mare? Octavia did not know, but what she did know was the growing fear within her breast.

Who could this be? Is it him!? Octavia wondered.

“Do you know of death and dying, Octavia?” asked a baritone voice, obviously emanating from the pony before her. A stallion, as one would expect from such a voice.

Octavia opened her mouth only for it to slowly shut. She had heard that question asked to her before. But where? And by who?

Coming closer, the stallion questioned further. “Some say it is quite painless, others not so much. Regardless, you see everypony for their true selves at times like these. Tell me, how do you choose to die? Slow and painful as you are now? Or quick and painless, stoking the flames of passion which you desire so much?”

Octavia opened her mouth but was cut off by the stallion. “You need not answer, I know what you’ll say. I always do.”

Octavia shivered, now unable to look away from the stallion before her. No matter how much she demanded it, her body would not listen to her command.

The stallion leaned over Octavia, lowering his head down to hers, looking deeply within her eyes. “You refuse to acknowledge what your body desires the most.” He thrust himself forward, forcing his lips onto her, and she could not push away from him. She tried to scream, but her muffled tones carried no weight or distance.

Pulling away, the stallion continued. “You desire union with me. And though you may fight it,” He reached a hoof down between her hind legs, letting it trace over her body. “I know as well as you do that it’s what is best for you. In fact, I might say you’d enjoy it more than you’re willing to let on.” He lifted his hoof up, revealing the moisture dripping down it. He gently wiped it on her cheek, the stench causing her to clench her eyes as tight as possible. “You see? You’re having fun already.”

“Get off of me cree—Urgh!” Octavia tried to say, but was quickly cut off as the stallion thrust his lips upon hers again, ministering a hoof down below.

Octavia yelped in pain and bit down on his lips, causing the stallion to bash his other hoof across her face to make her let go. “Fucking bitch!” He screamed, forcing himself down on top of her. Blood dribbled down his lip, filling Octavia with some sense of glee seeing his sleazy, sunken face desecrated. Though for some reason it seemed familiar, yet she couldn’t quite place why.

“You think this is funny, huh?” The stallion asked, before slamming a hoof down onto one of Octavia’s wrists, straining the delicate cartilage and snapping a bone in the process.

Octavia screamed out in agony before the stallion covered her mouth, forcing her screams to be unheard.

“Not so funny anymore, ain’t it?” He leaned his head down once again, licking away the substance he set upon her moments prior. He let her fear seep into his taste buds. “Mmmm. I’m going to enjoy this. And if you’d just be a good little girl for once, you might even start to make me feel something worth a damn from your existence.”

Weakly, Octavia found herself looking downward. To her dismay, she took note of the stallion’s no no parts, eagerly being placed into position. Somehow her body found within itself her ability to cry.

“Now shut up and let daddy have some fun, princess.” The Stallion spoke before he pushed himself into Octavia. He didn’t do it slowly, and instead rammed into her.

Octavia felt like she had just been struck by a sledgehammer in her secret place, and felt that she was being split apart from the inside out. The pain. The searing, white hot pain momentarily distracting her from her current situation.

Fighting through it, she found her voice again. “NNNNGH! P-Please!” she uttered in agony, suppressing the urge to vomit with every thrust into her. “S-Sto-'' Yet again she was cut off with a bash to the side of the head.

“You speak when spoken too, child… Dear, Celestia, you’re such a disappointment. You’re not even good enough to fuck, if I’m be honest here. But this is for your own benefit, sweetheart.” The stallion reached a hoof down and swiped at her nether region, gathering a large slush of arousal on the end of it. He shoved it into her mouth as she sought to let out a scream before pulling his hoof out again. “You taste like shit, by the way. I shouldn’t be the only one having to suffer right now. Now be a good little girl for daddy.”

The stallion pushed into her again, this time with more force, making Octavia whine, while also coughing and sputtering on her own juices. She couldn’t stop it from slithering down her throat. She then felt the inside of herself tear open, blood seeping out of her, dripping down to the floor below.

The rats found a new source of food.

“I do this because we are to become one. And you simply refuse to accept this fact. And look at you now.” Octavia lay limp before him. Her eyes were glazed over, still and lifeless.. “Still hanging on to that imaginary sense of hope behind those eyes of yours… You’re not going to have it, sweetie. And it’s all thanks to your own actions. I tried to warn you. You should always listen to daddy~”

Octavia found herself losing more than just her sense of awareness and self in that moment, but even the concept of feeling and earthly sense. The hope that was once there was now hiding behind a locked door and nopony had a key.

Minutes had passed. At least what Octavia thought were minutes. She didn’t rightly know. She was only aware of the smell of iron and tears.

A new light began to inch its way into her eyesight. The stallion paid it no mind, making Octavia question whether it was really there before her, or a figment of her imagination. Though she found a new fear entered her as an all too familiar, and sinister sight stepped forth from the light.

The pale pony of her nightmares was back, his expression flat, his eyes looking over her judgingly. He made his way up to her, his face mere centimeters away from her ears. “You need but say the word, and it’ll all be over, Miss Octavia. Just tell me you are ready, and you’ll be free from the pain for good.”

Octavia, against what her mind commanded, opened her mouth and uttered those fateful words.

“Set me free…”

Author's Note

A rating changed. A terrible act. I suppose I'll have to explain something to those who are reading this story. The beginning of this year was some of the worst of my life. A family member tried to push themselves onto me sexually, something that once almost happened when I was much younger.

This chapter reflects that at the end, and is used as the boiling point for Octavia succumbing to the pale pony. I thought it fitting way to push her to her limits. Yes, the pony raping her is her father. To reflect the incestious act almost put upon me.

I know this is disturbing. I wanted it to be as such, as it is a vile act and a true horror. I only hope for understanding, and acceptance to what it brings to this tragedy.