In the months and years after she will not understand. Maybe deep down she never will.
Celestia of the Ever Free, Mare of the Sun, and the new ruler of Equestria will puzzle over it endlessly. All her raw anger and hurt will never let her speak of it to anypony she considers her friend until she realizes all her friends are long dead and she has only subjects.
For how could she trust another when her sister, her dear sweet sister, couldn’t be trusted? How can any understand what it felt to be betrayed by the only family she’d ever had? The only pony that knew her, knew what this life of welding the Elements and being an alicorn meant. They had freed this realm of so many evils, large and small. Her sister was the only pony alive that remembered what life under Discord had been like and now to all those around her, to her subjects, their lives were simply a story told to foals.
She hides it as best she can but thanks to her new rank of Princess there is no pony brave enough to speak of how suddenly Celestia, Princess of Equestria, confides in no pony.
It takes years to build up her heart up enough that she starts to trust again and finally her mind clears of anger and pain enough to understand her little sisters.
It had been her laughter that faded way first.
They had been visiting Canterlot for a few weeks, speaking with Princess Platinum and the Noble Court. Planning the bright new kingdom of Equestria, trying to balance the tribes and their new cities and their headstrong leaders. Rising the sun was new then, she remembered that her mane had turned into refracted sunlight, not even a month before and Luna’s stars had started to shine only a day before the meetings started.
Only had the connection with the Elements felt more natural then rising the sun. It had all fit so well, her rising the sun and Luna the moon. Looking back perhaps her cutie mark should have been a clue. Hindsight was like that.
The meetings had gone on for a long time, longer than they wanted and longer than they were used too. Being princesses was still so new in those early years and the pair of them chaffed at it. Platinum had asked them and they would never turn down the chance to help but the politics of court were draining. Celestia was taking to it quickly if still chafing at the edges, but her sister… wasn’t.
The unicorns were a stiff and unhappy lot, having too much pride unlike Earth Ponies and with none of the edge that the pegasus was known for. Rules abounded and unspoken rules the most. Unicorn nobles used these as tests for any unknown ponies that met with them. Tests of knowledge and decorum, that the wealthy had been taught since from birth. Any miss-step was noted quickly and shared with anypony willing to listen.
Luna was well-liked by the common pony, perhaps more than Celestia was even and at that moment in time she was at her height once she’d taken on raising the moon. Her dream magic had always been greater than anypony else and she, and she alone brought it to Canterlot. There was no master besides her and now that her power flowed over all of the land nightmares were gone for good, the old dreams of war and hunger that had been so common quickly faded from memory.
Yet her brash and cutting humor was not welcome in the halls of Canterlot. At first, when Luna made an unknowing mistake a helpful unicorn would shyly tell her and Luna would jest with them, not truly caring what the mistake had been. Over and over she watched this happen and slowly noble unicorns stopped laughing with her and instead at her.
Before long Luna was seen as foolish and no pony took her seriously. It had been too many jokes with servants or stories of training with earth ponies or any number of things. They had been close then and when her sister came to her over it Celestia, tired of meetings and not truly understanding what was truly upsetting her, had told her to stop such jesting and start taking these things more seriously.
Hindsight would tell her that trying to stifle an Element when you were it’s wielder was uncomfortable at best and painful at worst. For a pony to be a wielder meant that they held that Element at the heart of them, the core that they were built around. There may be somepony more kindness or brought more laughter for a while. But for an Element it took something horrible to change the drive that made them bring their element to others because of how deep it ran.
Celestia was not and still isn’t an all-knowing pony.
And Luna, wielder of the Element of Laughter, tried to listen to her wise sister. No matter how foalish it seemed to her.
In the end the pain wasn’t ever worth it. It hadn’t even worked well, nobles have a long memory of these things and why should they go out of their way to work with Luna when her elder sister was right there? Why stay awake when the Princess of the Sun could help them and do it better? The little sister was barely more than a filly, she was too loud, and worst of all she drank mead and feasted with the commoners. She wasn’t worth their time.
Again Luna came to her. Never had this been a problem when they lived away from most ponies. She was used to being welcomed with open hooves and having grand feasts in her honor, not nobles ignoring her completely in favor of her elder sister.
But once again Celestia had been so tired. Without Luna’s help with the nobles, she stayed up so late into the night. So much work to be done. When her sister came to her she hadn’t heard that Luna wished for respect from those that she now ruled. Instead, she only heard her little sister complaining that others didn’t enjoy her jests or feasts.
This was a mistake that would follow her for a thousand years.
Because Luna slowly stopped jesting with her as well afterward. She stopped their private pranks and Celestia was far too busy to realize that they were gone.
Luna had always rather….blunt for a lack of a better word.
It could be argued that it was partly Celestia’s fault since she had raised her sister almost single hoofed but the fact remained that Luna had offended many in her time. From the highest noble to the lowest commoner her sister would speak freely in all matters. Lies had no place when one could see all dreams and no amount of noble blood meant a thing when one was older than the heroes that founded their great houses.
Funny enough it was rarely commoners that became angry with her and instead it was the nobles that came away bruised. It was the nobles that had been told their whole lives that they were important ponies and none liked to hear that they had been wrong.
That Luna also had a temper didn’t help.
Harsh words spoken in anger were hard to dismiss when the pony knows that they are true.
Celestia hadn’t seen her sister in weeks, too busy for their morning or evening meals. Busy over land deals and the petty arguments that nobles had day after day. Rumors kept floating around the court and to some they were more important than truth- if they served the right cause.
Celestia was busy and now her sister had made her busier still. A young noble had gone to the Night Court, such a rarity that she had a moment’s surprise since hadn’t the Day Court been taking care of almost everything now? Of course, her sister had laid into the fool. From what she understood Princess Platinum had already given her decree on the matter, something about land ownership, but the young stallion had known how out of the loop Luna was and thought he could get his way.
Instead, he’d gotten yelled at. Rather harshly as Luna tended to have no time for foolish nobles, and also lost what little ground on the matter Platinum had given him. Angered, he then riled up every other noble he could, stirring up arguments from months ago.
So of course Luna, in one of the few times her Court was needed, fumbled harshly.
She’d sought her sister out and found her where she usually was this late in the afternoon, eating her evening meal at a high mountain peak above Canterlot. Their home was too far away for them to stay at while building Equestria but the city was still a work in progress. They had taken a few rooms from Platinum, which would be a Great Hall of Canterlot Castle once the rest was finished. Luna, however, was rarely in hers. She had already spoken of her lack of love for the stone walls of Canterlot, she preferred cloud or even wood. She was more pegasus than Celestia in that way.
“Sister!” Luna was so surprised to see her. Had it been that long since they had eaten up here?
Celestia shook her head as she landed, her sunlight mane shimmering. She wasn’t here to eat and gossip with Luna. There was work to be done below. “I need to speak with you.”
The dark mare frowned but then brightened a small amount, “What help can I offer you?”
“You can start by not offending the nobles,” she reprimanded. Perhaps harsher than needed but Celestia was needed in a meeting in only an hour. She’d be staying up working late again while her sister sat in an empty room because no noble would dare try the Night Court again after this. “I haven’t long, sister, but please. Don’t offend them, it makes my work harder.”
Hindsight told her that this conversion shouldn’t have been like this, rushed while she was tired and cranky from working all day. And that Luna may be her little sister but no other pony besides Celestia was her elder. She’d fought monsters right by her side for longer than Princess Platinum could trace her Royal bloodline.
She wasn’t the little Luna with dirt caked into her mane because she knew it would make the little foals laugh anymore. Just as she herself wasn’t the Celestia that had helped wash it out with a warm smile.
“If you can’t find it in yourself to speak to the nobles in a manner that they deserve then don’t. I’m going to have to work double to calm them down after this-”
“He was trying to deceive me!” Luna rose up and her wings flared in anger. “He thought that I knew nothing that happened in the other courts, he came to me thinking that I was a fool. I spoke no lies, he has no honor or any other noble qualities. He overplayed his hand and was punished for it, as is my right as a princess!”
Luna’s harsh frown on her face was new, at this moment at least. In the next few years, Celestia would see it almost every time she saw her sister. Soon all the ponies in Canterlot would forget that it was Luna that was the joyful one. That she was the one that ponies had thrown parties for.
“Honestly isn’t always a good thing Luna,” She said foolishly. She’d been so tired and stressed that day that the words just dropped from her lips without thought. In a hundred years every word would be thought over a million time, wondering that if this conversion hadn’t happened if Luna would still be there and not locked away. “Ponies sometimes need to be lied too, be catered too. We are not just wondering heroes anymore, what others think of us matters-”
“What others think matters little compared to the truth-”
“The truth is that because of you I now have a disaster on my hooves because you decided that insulting a minor noble was more important than your duties!”
When was the last time Celestia raised her voice? Let alone at her sister? They fought like all siblings did but this was a true fight now. Her frustration and stress had turned to anger and there was no other pony that she could dare take it out on.
“The Night Court is slow enough that I hoped you wouldn’t cause too much of a stir but I see I was wrong. Take more care.” With that Celestia flew down to Canterlot, a angered but mind already on other things.
Unknown to her at that moment, Luna would not open her court that night. She’d wait in her hall, away from where her sister kept her own court, to see if she’d have any ponies waiting to see her. For a fortnight she waited, her doors closed but ready to open with a knock. None came.
Luna would not hold her Night Court again for over a thousand years.
Her sister’s loyalty to her died a million deaths over the next few years, Celestia admits.
They were both stubborn mares and the rift between them only grew. Luna had given up trying to fit in with the nobles of Canterlot but her laughter didn’t come quickly anymore, her mood always too soured. She held her tongue instead of speaking truth because her words held too much power. Celestia herself pushed the rift to the back of her mind, they had fought before and it hadn’t even been a century yet so surely this wasn’t serious.
This united country was the moment the sisters had been waiting for. The tribes had been fighting between themselves from the moment Discord was frozen in stone, Celestia had to make sure it lasted.
But unknown to her every ball she didn’t think to included her sister in (because surely Luna wouldn’t want to come since she hated unicorn balls) every celebration invite unsent (Prince Topaz would be in attendance and unlike his wife he was offended easily, surely Luna would understand) and every Summer Sun celebration (it hadn’t been Celestia’s idea, she hated the spotlight and if Luna had ever asked she would have known) was another crack.
Hindsight was truly an awful thing.
It told her that she should have taken more time to comfort her sister when their friend Hurricane had died, Luna had been close to the Commander. But instead Celestia had left her alone because surely the politics of such a great pony dying was more important. It told her that Luna spending all her time at the old castle, alone, was a sign. Instead she only spared a thought that it was easier to work without her sister’s pranks, never realizing that Luna hadn’t pranked her in years.
The last crack quietly shattered a loyalty a thousand years old, one born from sisterhood and tempered again and again by facing enemies by each other's side.
There hadn’t been a last argument, not truly. Instead it had been a simple mistake after years of a growing rift.
She only realized it had shattered early one morning after what seemed to be a completely ordinary night. It was the middle of winter and that meant the nobles had nothing to do but complain. They had to be careful of course but the fact of matter was that they were useless in the winter time. Pegasus could clear the worst of the clouds and Earth Ponies could clear snow but unicorns could do nothing. It made them lash out and Celestia had been dealing with their demands for warmer weather for weeks now. Day in and day out. Late night after late night. Problem after problem.
It was after this, weak and tired from weeks of almost constant work that Celestia slept in late by accident.
Only to be awoken by Princess Platinum. The mare was getting older, her once royal purple mane now a shining silver and her eyes lined with marks of laughter. The princess had given up most of her duties now to her son but her mind was still sharp. Nowadays she was usually found with her young granddaughter.
When she woke Celestia that morning Platinum had a worried frown and her mane had still been undone.
“Why haven't you risen the sun?,” she had asked as soon as Celestia raised her head. “ Is there something wrong?”
See, rising the sun wasn’t a hard thing for Celestia to do, unlike the poor unicorns that came before her. It took no thought or active power for her to do. In fact she and Luna had gotten it down in only a few weeks because all it took was a little nuge for them to move on their way. As all as Luna put away the moon the sun would rise on its own maybe a little off or early but it would rise.
Yet when Celestia looked out her widow the moon was still in the sky, brighter and more beautiful than she’d ever seen. The stars were shining and seemed close enough that with only her hoof she could touch them. It was more beautiful than any day that Celestia had brought. She couldn’t place anything in the sky and no pony besides herself could bear to look at the sun. A jolt of envy shot through her because no pony could possibly find her day as beautiful as this.
But while it was beautiful….It should have been over. Longest night of the year or not the night must give way to the sun just as the day gives way to the moon. Yet Luna now refused.
She never remembered the flight to their castle or walking into the great hall.
The rest though she wished she could forget but it haunts her dreams all the same. Luna’s voice had been wrong, her teeth turned sharp with magic and her eyes…. Her eyes glared with such hate in them. Words had been spoken, spit like venom on one side and with a false confidence on the other but they didn’t matter. Her sister was gone and only this magic twisted monster remained. The only thing left to do was protect the rest of the world by making sure the day returned.
So they fought. They had trained together for centuries and knew each other's every move. Later she heard that the fighting could be seen from Canterlot as their castle turned to rumble around them.
How long had they spent building this castle? Each stone one of them had moved themselves. Each window Celestia had spelled with care and every statute of a friend or beaten villain Luna craved just so she could point to it while spinning her stories. Quilts and tapestries given to them from lords and ladies, small toys that foals gave them gifts… gone. A thousand years blasted away.
She didn’t know what the elements would do, hadn’t known if she could even use them. They had never tried without the other. But Laughter,Honesty and Loyalty obeyed her and suddenly the Nightmare was gone and the moon above marked as it became a prison to the pony that loved it the most.
The anger that she held that night fades.
And it is much later that Celestia realized that her sister had been forgotten completely. That her hunt and pain in speaking about her sister has made it so she is only remembered as a bedtime story told to foals to behave. She’d close the Day Court for an entire week after that, the first time it closed since Luna’s banishment.
The stories that the ponies tell are mostly correct, she had to admit. Luna had gone mad with jealousy and refused to lower her moon.
But the good that Luna had done had faded and there was no pony besides her to mourn it. The other side of the story had been Celestia’s to tell and by the time the pain had faded enough to speak it, it had been too late.
Ponies remembered Nightmare Moon and the day that never was. No pony told stories of how much Luna loved to make ponies laugh or how in her eyes all ponies stood equal or how once her loyalty was stronger than stone. That a once great hero of their people, of all three tribes a hundred times over, had been forgotten twice by them and now they only remembered her worst moment.
But that alone was Celesita’s burden to bear, she would remember for them.