Author's Note
Advance warning: To me, the line that most defined Limestone and what her life is like came in "The Maud Couple."
"You look as miserable as I feel all the time."
To me, that line was heartbreaking, and fit with so much else about the Pies that paints a pretty bleak picture of their life.
It's a picture I try capturing here, so... y'know, just a heads up before you get into it.
Chapter 1
Hearth’s Warming was getting a little crowded at the Pie family farm these years. The Apple Family had almost doubled their numbers, but now that Mac had gotten married and Maud was dating, extended family outnumbered the Pies themselves.
It was a change that Limestone had mixed feelings about. On the one hoof, the farm was pretty crowded now, on the years when the Apples weren’t hosting. On the other hoof….
Limestone smirked as Maud came back in from showing Mudbriar around the farm, the stallion walking in stiffly behind her with his tail tucked down discretely.
On the other hoof, it is fun watching Maud pretend she cares at all who knows how hard it is to keep her hooves off of him.
“Maudelina, go see if your mother requires assistance in the kitchen,” Igneous told her.
“Yes, father,” Maud nodded, disappearing into the kitchen without objection.
“Mudbriar,” the elderly earth pony tapped the floor next to him lightly. The lanky stallion took the indicated spot, sitting down like he half expected there to be a pin there when he did.
“What did you think of the farm?” Igneous was doing a fine imitation of his second daughter, his voice even and expression unchanging as he turned to face her suitor.
“Technically, I’m not especially qualified to judge a rock farm,” Mudbriar pointed out. “However, your family’s dedication to the farm shows. I did notice that your family’s vegetable garden seems to be sparsely planted. I presume that has to do with thinning topsoil, because of the wind exposure of your land?”
“Verily,” Igneous nodded. “My wife cares for it as best she can, but even in the basin, it is greatly exposed.”
And that’s why we have to get half our food shipped in, Limestone thought. Extra hundred bits we don’t have bringing in supplies for Hearth’s Warming.
“I actually have a suggestion on that,” Mudbriar continued. “You could plant a good windbreak from a mixture of blue and flowering ash trees, as well as sugar maple. They all have shallow root systems,” he droned on, getting into lecture mode as Limestone started to tune him out.
Sure, plant a windbreak. Like we haven’t thought of that. And who’ll take care of the saplings until they can stand up to the wind? Who’ll break up the bedrock so they can even start growing? Her eyes started to unfocus, the glow of the Hearth’s Warming lights diffusing further. Maybe if Maud sticks around for a few days, she can find a gem deposit for us that isn’t played out. Maybe she can help her boyfriend with his little project. Maybe Pinkie can front us a few bits…. The idea turned Limestone’s stomach, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d had to swallow bile along with her pride. She stared out at the room as the noises of Hearth’s Warming dulled out, letting her think about… what was she thinking about?
Big Mac’s hoof clopped down heavily as he got up to do something, the noise startling Limestone back into the present. She glanced around, trying to catch up with what was going on. Mac was going into the kitchen, answering some question of Sugar Belle’s. Pinkie was probably still out hiding presents. Mudbriar was boring her father to unshed tears going on about the relative merits of different types of ash trees. Granny Smith was borrowing Grandma Pie’s rocking chair, working on a quilt with Marble, and Apple Bloom….
Aw schist.
Apple Bloom was looking right at her, bright eyes crinkled up around the edges like she was trying to work out a puzzle.
Good luck with that one, kid. I don’t even know what the picture looks like any more.
“I’m gonna go make sure Pinkie doesn’t miss dinner,” Limestone announced, standing up and heading for the front door to the family homestead, not bothering with the green and red striped cap and scarf hanging by the door. She wasn’t going to be out long.
“Ah’ll come with ya!” Apple Bloom bounced up to her hooves, her own scarf and cap on before Limestone could object.
“You don’t have to,” Limestone shrugged, stepping outside and half-hoping that the teenaged foal’s… whatever was driving her on… would fold at the prospect of going out into the light snow and heavy winds blowing across the open plains of the Pie farm.
“Ah know,” Apple Bloom told her as she closed the door behind them. “Ah could use some air though, it’s a mite crowded with everypony in the same room!”
“Yeah, well, we can’t all have the biggest farm in town and the house to go with it.” Limestone tried to play off the line as casually as she could, but she couldn’t stop a little of the venom from creeping into her voice.
“Ah didn’t mean it like that, honest! Ah just….”
Just weren’t thinking about the difference between a rock farm and an apple farm? Weren’t thinking about what it’s like to have three roommates most of your life? What it’s like needing to decide between fixing the roof or keeping the family prodigy in school? Hay, you aren’t even the one in your family who has to worry about-
“Limestone?” Apple Bloom interrupted her spiralling thoughts. “Sorry, y’all were getting that look again, sorta like Applejack used to after Ma and Pa… well, y’know.” Limestone winced inwardly.
Okay, jackass, happy now? Got a reminder that you’ve got something up on the Apples after all, that what you wanted? She stopped herself before she could get lost in her self-recrimination, shaking her head sharply.
“Just thinking about farm business.” She shrugged, catching up with Apple Bloom as the wind gusted down the hill. The larger earth pony unconsciously took the windward side of the foal as they walked away from the house. Still, if Applejack had it happen to her once….
“Does that still happen to Applejack at all?”
“Naw, not since Ah was real little,” Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah just wanted to make sure y’all were okay. An’ make sure it didn’t happen while you were alone in the cold,” she admitted.
Limestone grumbled to herself, then reached over to give the filly a quick hug.
“You’re a good kid, squirt. I’ll be fine, just… I dunno, give me a kick or something if you see it happening again.”
“Ah mean, if Mudbriar’s talkin’ about trees again, it might just happen t’both of us,” Apple Bloom pointed out.
Limestone laughed, shaking her head.
“Guess we’ll just have to give each other a kick then.”
“Oh. My. Gosh!” Pinkie popped out from behind a pile of aging basalt. “Limestone laughed! It’s a Hearth’s Warming miracle!”
“You want to hear me laugh, come to one of the auctions and watch stallions try asking me out between lots,” the elder Pie sister shot back. “Come on, Pinks, dinner’s going to be ready soon and it’s getting cold out here.”
“That’s because somepony refuses to wear her scarf and cap!” Somehow, Pinkie produced the items in question, popping a striped green-and-red knit cap onto her sister’s head and tying the matching scarf around her neck loosely. “There! Dinner sounds good though, so let’s go!”
Pinkie took off, merrily pronking through the falling snow and leaving her sister and (maybe) cousin behind.
“Y’know the worst part?” Limestone asked Apple Bloom. “I know I left these on the hook by the door when I came out.”
“It’s Pinkie Pie,” they said in unison, following the boisterous mare back to the warmth of the house.
Limestone didn’t even have the energy to slam the door behind her, just letting it swing shut on its own as she stepped out into the bracing, frigid air outside.
”Before thou takest it on, with Maud.”
Her limbs felt like gabbro as she walked away from the house, wandering off into the rock fields. Heavy, hard to move, and damned near worthless.
They aren’t even talking about getting married yet, let alone having foals.
Not that you’re likely to have them any sooner.
Buck, you’re not even likely to have them. Little hard to do with another mare.
Tartarus, when’s the last time you even looked at anypony outside the farm? Not since that blue filly bailed on us, and she stopped writing back pretty quick, didn’t she?
Oh, but you’re just ‘busy with the farm,’ right? Like that’s ever going to change. Why are you even upset about this? You should be happy Dad’s giving the farm to them, that’s always been the Plan, hasn’t it?
The Plan. Capital ‘p,’ plan. The reason she’d done… anything since before Maud had even gotten her cutie mark. Ever since they’d realized her kid sister absorbed information about rocks like a sponge, it had all been about the Plan. Scrimping, saving, pulling every single bit together to keep Maud in her classes. Poring over hand-me-down books to try and glean any secrets to picking out which rocks were worth cultivating and which were only good for gravel. It would all be worth it, when Maud graduated and came back to help improve the farm. To apply the science she’d learned, that her parents, grandparents, their grandparents, on back to Holder Cobblestone and Stonefruit Pie, had originally eschewed in favor of ancient earth pony tradition. To prove that their little plot of barren caldera land could make their kin proud.
That they could manage in seven generations what had taken the Apples less than three.
And then….
Limestone’s distracted wandering ended as she bumped into a crystal stand. She looked around quickly, recognizing one of the deeper quartz deposits on the farm, the walls of the cavern shot through with varicolored crystalline veins. She’d been working with Marble to expand it out into a full station earlier in the year, when they had orders to fill for the crystals that glittered in the light of magically charged hazard lanterns that had been placed throughout the tunnels.
Well, it was as good a place as any to put the ‘rock.’
Limestone quickly drew out a lumpy, black stone onto the parchment she’d grabbed, and stuffed it into the toolbox they’d brought down when the order was finished. Spitting out the charcoal stick she’d used, the mare started back for the farmhouse, trying hard not to get lost in her thoughts again. It was already getting dark out; she didn’t particularly want to end up finding out where she’d wander if she got lost.
Fortunately, finding her way back from the mine entrance was a simple matter. To be fair, she could literally find her way out here from the house in her sleep, so it wasn’t too much of a surprise she’d ended up here in the first place.
Marble’d probably end up finding it, if Pinkie didn’t stumble over it first. There was no accounting for Pinkie luck, but Celestia knew how often Marble had found Limestone out there.
Snow was starting to gather on Limestone’s coat when she made it back to the house, and she shook it off before going back inside. If she was going to mope, she could at least do it where it was warm.
“Okay everypony, rock’s ready when you are,” she announced as she hung up her cap and scarf. “I’m gonna catch a nap while you’re hunting.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie hopped over and gave Limestone a hug.
“Sorry I made fun of you earlier,” she whispered. “I left you some sweet rolls in the kitchen!”
“Heh… thanks, Sis.” Limestone returned the hug after a moment. “I’ll grab ‘em later. I’m still giving you something distinctly un-fun to do for chores while you’re here.”
“Eh, I’ll find a way!” Pinkie winked, giving Limestone a peck on the cheek before she turned to the rest of the family to pass out team assignments.
“Okay, Maud, Mudbriar, Apple Bloom - you’re on team one!” Pinkie announced as Limestone started up the stairs to the room she shared with her single sisters. “Marble, Big Mac, Sugar Belle, you’re team two!”
Limestone tuned out the activity below, flopping into her bunk and pulling her pillow over her face. She clutched it there, waiting until she heard the front door closing, and then let the tension go. She pulled her pillow down tight, wrapping her hooves around to stuff it into her mouth, and screamed into the cotton and feather barrier. The muffled wail turned into sobs as Limestone rolled over onto her stomach, trying to bury the noise in her mattress as she pounded a hoof into it next to her head.
“S’upid, s’upid, s’upid!” She shouted into the bed. “Tirek damn you, this is what you’ve been waiting for! Idiot!” Powerful muscles trembled beneath her sweaty coat as she screamed again. She shook like a pebble in an avalanche, trying to ignore the dull ache in her chest and pressure in her head. She could feel her veins throbbing beneath her mane, and drew in deep, shaking breaths between sobs as she soaked her pillow.
“What - the buck - is wrong - with me?” Limestone cried between sobs, starting to hiccup as much as cry. She didn’t hear the sound of hoofsteps coming up the stairs, or of the door to the bedroom opening.
She barely noticed when another pony crawled onto the mattress with her, snuggling up to her side.
She did notice when her new bedmate’s head pressed gently against the back of her neck, hooves wrapping around her in a silent, gentle embrace. Limestone bit her lip, hard, trying to swallow the pain, or at least to keep it from escaping any more loudly than necessary.
“Please be Marble,” she whimpered softly.
“Mhm.”
Growing up in the Pie family meant speaking at least six languages fluently. Ponish and Middle Ponish, obviously, for dealing with the outside world and their parents. But then each of the Pie children had their own language, their own way of expressing themselves through their quirks and the scars that they’d built up over the years. Their own ways of expressing the things that they couldn’t actually say, not without making trouble.
Pinkie understood Maud’s the best. Maud was the only pony who even came close to speaking fluent “Pink-ese” as her sisters had come to call it. Limestone had learned to be the most straightforward of the four, having to deal with other ponies more than most and being the oldest of them. But Marble was the one who truly came closest to speaking another language, putting more meaning into two syllables than most ponies did into everything they said, if you knew how to understand her.
She was here. It was going to be okay.
Limestone sniffled, wiping her eyes and drawing a few slow, shuddering breaths. Marble shifted to lay down next to her, stroking her back comfortingly.
“Hmm?”
“N-no, I don’t want to talk about it,” Limestone croaked. “Why aren’t you out with Sugar Belle and Mac?”
“Mm-mm.”
“Come on, they didn’t mind you being there. Pinkie wouldn’t have paired you up with them if they did.”
“Eh… mm-mm.” A light shrug, the warmth of her sister snuggling up closer.
“You’re gonna lose out on the rock hunt,” Limestone pointed out
“Eh.” Another shrug, a nuzzle. Marble’s muzzle slipping gently into the crook of Limestone’s neck.
“P-please don’t let me ruin a-anypony else’s Hearth’s Warming,” Limestone whispered, starting to tear up again. She felt Marble’s frown against her neck, and sidled away from the younger Pie.
“I’m just being an idiot, Marble. Just like always. I should be glad Dad’s talking about Maud… about me not having to run the farm any more. Not like she’s taking over now anyway. Still more than enough time for me to get everything set up perfect for her. Then I can just….”
Just what? Just go find another rock pile to waste your life on? Just keep plugging away here and wait until you go the way Granny did? Going about your day and not even remembering your own family?
You can’t put them through that again. You’d just be -
Limestone was jostled out of her thoughts by Marble gently booping her on the nose. Despite herself, she smiled at her little sister.
“I dunno what I’ll do, but I’ll figure out something,” Limestone lied, trying to believe it herself. Trying to believe she had any ideas, any options, beyond the ones that came to her in her darker moments, when she was trying to balance the budget and just not coming up with enough black ink to outweigh the red. When she started considering the monthly payments that went to protecting the family in case one of them got caught in a cave-in, and how very close she’d come to that herself. When she started trying to figure out just what the payoff was for everything they were doing, and weighing that against the payoff for just not running quite fast enough next time.
She didn’t like thinking about those things. But sometimes, she just couldn’t help it.
Marble frowned at her and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“Limestone, talk to me! I’m… I’m worried about you.”
It would have hurt less if Marble had just bucked her in the gut. Limestone heaved a sigh, going limp next to her sister.
“I wish you wouldn’t be,” she whispered. “I told you, it’s stupid! I’m stupid. I just… you know Hearth’s Warming’s always tough for me, since I started running the farm. Too much work not getting done,” she tried to joke. “You should go have fun with the others.”
“And what about you?” Marble’s voice was soft, hoarse from disuse, but the plaintive tone of it made it impossible for Limestone to just not answer her.
“I’ll be fine. You know me, solid as bedrock. Limestone… it’s what you build with. You make the house out of it, and what’s the point if nopony lives there?” The eldest Pie sister let out a laugh, trying not to think about how strained, almost manic it sounded in her head. “What’s the point of building it all up, if there’s nopony there to enjoy it? You don’t just… let the house be a house, you don’t leave it up just to be there. You use it. Then you leave it when you’re ready for something better.”
Marble nuzzled Limestone gently.
“Mm-mm.”
“Sis, if Big Mac hadn’t found somepony else… you’d leave too,” Limestone countered. “I know you had a crush on him. Can’t blame you either. Get out of here, go to a farm that’s thriving, closer to Pinkie and Maud, somewhere you could have a life of your own?”
She sighed, shaking her head.
“I don’t… I don’t really have anything, that’s mine, do I?” Limestone climbed out of her bed, looking out the window at Holder’s Boulder, leaning against the sill and wiping her tear-matted muzzle. “It’s all Mom and Dad’s, until they pass it on to Maud. I just keep it running. I share a room with my sisters, my things have all become hand-me-downs, the ponies I try to date all leave once they have enough paychecks to get out of here?
“And it’s never going to stop being like this,” Limestone murmured, more to herself than her silent audience. “Maud gets the farm, I’ll just keep working it for her. Keep her from getting too wrapped up in her research to actually pay the bills. Her kids take over, Auntie Limestone keeps working, until one day their kids find her….”
She shuddered, remembering the fateful winter night she and Pinkie had found Granny in the garden.
“At least Granny had Grampa,” she whispered.
“Limestone?” Maud’s monotone voice called up the stairs. “I think we need to talk.”
“Great,” Limestone groaned, leaning her forehead against the cold window. “Just what I needed. More talking.”
“If it’s about what Father said, you do need it,” Maud told her evenly as she stepped into their old bedroom. “Mudbriar and I aren’t taking the farm away from you. Not now, not ever.”
“In case you didn’t catch Dad’s point earlier, it’s not mine in the first place, so no problem there,” Limestone pointed out.
“Then you didn’t hear the part where I reminded him that you’ve done more to earn this farm than I ever will. I only said the part about how he should already know that in my head.”
“It’s not about earning it, Maud!” Limestone groaned, turning around to face her sister. “It’s about making the farm support itself, and keeping it in the family, and that means grandfoals! And it’s a little hard for me to provide those. Even if I wanted to try adopting, who’d send a kid to grow up on a rock farm with an angry nag like me as a Mom?”
“Then he’s still turning over the wrong rocks,” Maud observed. “Mudbriar and I have talked about it. Neither one of us is comfortable with the idea of trying to raise foals, or think it would be fair to pass… ‘us’ on to them. We’ve taken steps to keep it from ever happening without significant assistance.”
“Welp, guess it’s up to you and Pinkie then, Marble!” Limestone laughed, leaning back against the cold window, putting her weight on the window sill. “But seriously, Maud, you’d do a better job of running this place than I do. You’ve got all the tools, the education… we’ve always planned on you taking over, I just… I guess it just hurts to hear it out lou-”
“I don’t want to take over the farm from you, either, Limestone. That’s the whole reason I moved to Ponyville, to study the grotto.”
Limestone’s teeth ground together as she squeezed her eyes shut.
Tirek take me, why can’t I just pick a side that I want and be happy to hear it?
“I kind of figured that out, Sis. Really… glad you’ve had that chance,” she muttered between her clenched teeth. “I… damn it, what is wrong with me?” She shouted.
“The fact you don’t even care about the farm says I shouldn’t care what Dad thinks about who runs it, but it’s also driving me crazy after everything we’ve done to get you through school! The idea of you running the farm makes my gut twist, but every time I pay the damned mortgage we took out to pay for your rocktorate I want to scream!” Limestone drew in a hard, long breath, filling her lungs and continuing her tirade before Marble or Maud could interrupt her. “And I know you’re n-not wrong to run from this damned place, but I, I always thought it was all going to be an investment that you’d be here to help make up for every Hearth’s Warming when nopony found any presents because there weren’t any presents to find! When the only fun thing we had to do was a rock hunt that I couldn’t even be part of, because I was the one who set it up! W-when I, when I stopped going t-to school? And I can’t blame you for it, because you’re not even doing anything wrong, you’re just bucking smart in ways I can’t be, and I’ve never even said any of this before because I knew you’d try to drop out and then it’d all be wasted but now you’re gone and it’s all wasted anyway and- and- and -”
“Limestone, you need to calm down, you’re going to hurt yourself,” Maud warned her, her face still that same impassive, unbreaking, infuriating mask she always wore. Limestone wiped her eyes, still panting, and glared at her sister.
”I don’t care any more, you selfish, ungrateful whorse!” She roared, her chest tight and her head pounding as she desperately sucked in more air only to spew it back out along with the vitriol she’d been saving up for as long as she could remember.. ”I don’t bucking care, who could hear this who should be more upset about it than you should be! You’re bucking happy and I bucking hate you for it, and I- I-”
Limestone saw Maud lunging towards her, her hoof rising towards her face, and then-
Limestone was in her bed, feeling sick, her head spinning and aching, her tongue bleeding slightly, her gut unsteady. Her eyes darted around, trying to figure out how she’d gotten into bed, just as Marble wrapped her up in a tight hug, tears on her muzzle.
Maud stepped into the room, carrying a tray with a mug of mulled cider and the sweet rolls Pinkie had saved for Limestone.
“You- did you hit me?”
Author's Note
The closing is coming on Friday; decided to step the pace up a little bit on publication, particularly since this chapter's the biggest one.
Limestone was in her bed, feeling sick, her head spinning and aching, her tongue bleeding slightly, her gut unsteady. Her eyes darted around, trying to figure out how she’d gotten into bed, just as Marble wrapped her up in a tight hug, tears on her muzzle.
Maud stepped into the room, carrying a tray with a mug of mulled cider and the sweet rolls Pinkie had saved for Limestone.
“You- did you hit me?” Limestone asked, rubbing her aching jaw. Maud sat down the tray and looked at her evenly.
“Are you still unconscious?” She asked, with just the slightest hint of an edge to her voice. “You hyperventilated. You’ve only been out for a couple minutes. You’re lucky; nopony else was in the house to hear everything.”
“You should have hit me,” Limestone groaned, laying back in her bed. Maud held the mug in front of her face, not moving it until she sat up and took it from her hoof.
“Possibly. But it wouldn’t have helped anything.”
“Maud… Sis, I’m sorry, I didn’t me-” The words died on Limestone’s lip as Maud shot her a sharp glance.
Lie to me, and I will hit you, it said.
“I didn’t mean all of what I said,” Limestone corrected herself, sipping the cider. “Like the stuff about you being a selfish, ungrateful whorse? I didn’t mean that, I’m just… Celestia, I’m such a mess,” she trailed off to a whisper, finally drinking some more cider, the warm liquid soothing her raspy throat.
“You are,” Maud agreed. “You aren’t entirely wrong though. I am selfish.”
“Maud, you have a right to your own life!” Limestone protested. “You -mmph!” Maud silenced her by shoving a sweet roll into her mouth, earning a glare and resentful chewing in response.
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing, Limestone. How long have you been sleep working?”
Limestone swallowed hard, and not just because she could have stood to chew the roll a bit longer.
“At least since you left for school… could be longer. Not every night or anything, just... usually around the end of the month.”
“When the bills are due,” Maud guessed. “Apple Bloom told me what you said about fading out,” Maud explained, sitting up on the side of the bed. “It’s the whole reason I came back to talk to you in the first place. You’re working yourself to death, Limestone.”
“Mhm,” Marble nodded quietly, finally letting go of Limestone and standing up next to the bed.
Thank Celestia that Pinkie isn’t here to hear this, Limestone thought to herself. I’d never hear the end of it.
“Work’s gotta be done, Maud,” she pointed out tiredly. “And we can only afford help once in a while. They don’t even know how to do it right most of the time. You’ve got a life of your own, so does Pinkie, Mom and Dad are slowing down, and Marble can’t really handle the stuff that has to be done with other ponies. I’m what’s left.”
“Did it ever occur to you that if you told us how bad things were, we would have come back to help out? We knew the farm wasn’t rich, but I never knew it was a threat, and Pinkie….”
“Pinkie always believed the lines about games and old family traditions,” Limestone sighed. “That’s why we always did it, though. None of you were supposed to be worried about it. We couldn’t get away with it, but you three didn’t need to be worried.”
“We’re grown up now, Limestone. Just ask Mudbriar,” the corner’s of Maud’s mouth twitched up momentarily.
“Mmm… okay, I’ll give you and Marble credit for that,” Limestone conceded with the faintest of smirks. “If Pinkie ever grows up, I probably will keel over.”
“Then stop trying to make it happen before she gets the chance.”
Maud leaned over, and hugged Limestone stiffly.
“I’ll talk to Father about staying out here to work the farm for the rest of the winter. It’s my turn to let you be selfish for a little while.”
“Maud, come on, you’re talking about just upending your life so I can take a few weeks off. It’s….”
“It’s my life, Limestone. And since I don’t work on the farm unless I’m staying here, you’re not my boss. You can’t tell me not to.”
Maud kissed her older sister on the forehead gently.
“For once in your life, Limestone, let somepony be nice to you.”
“...If you or Mudbriar screws up the ley lines, I’m making you fix them by hoof.”
“Wouldn’t do it any other way.” Maud stood up and nodded her head towards the door. “Let’s go see what’s keeping everypony.”
“Yeah, Pinkie should have stumbled over the picture by now,” Limestone agreed, swallowing the rest of her cider and snagging the second extra roll to eat on the way down. She paused at the bathroom to look in the mirror.
You look like somepony just died.
She took a moment to wash her face, getting rid of the snot and tear trails that had been left in her fur, straightening up her mane, generally trying her best to hide the breakdown that had just happened.
When she looked again, she was back to being Limestone Pie, the family grump with a frown permanently etched into her face.
Some days, it disturbed her how easily she could make that transformation. Especially after a big one, like this.
Maud was right, and she knew it. She did need a vacation.
She just wasn't sure how she was supposed to get away from herself.
