Anthology Of Shipping

by MattTOB

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Profanity, Discord, Anthology, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Romance
Length: 2137

Cadance and Twilight combine magic to simulate several potential relationships for Twilight

During a visit, Twilight learns that Cadance is working on a spell that'll allow her to simulate any romantic relationship. Twilight agrees to help refine it if they can use it to find Twilight's ideal match.

Thus, hijinks ensue.

Takes place during Season 8, but mentions events that only become relevant in Season 9 (for example, Spike and Gabby being pen pals).

Published 2021-10-18 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-18 15:30:01 UTC

A Proposition

Pancakes and roasted carrots. That was the breakfast that the Princess of Friendship and the Princess of Love had on the first day of their extended get-together. Shining Armor was currently looking over the Crystal Empire with Sunburst's help, Starlight and Trixie were watching the School of Friendship, Spike was visiting Gabby in Griffonstone, and Discord was off on a Breezie-watching expedition with Fluttershy, so they had an entire week to visit with each other.

So naturally, they sat in silence as they ate their late breakfast.

Eventually, Twilight looked up from her food. "I've just had a thought."

Cadance, who was nibbling on a carrot, glanced towards her friend. "What is it, Twilight?"

"You're the Princess of Love, right? So would that mean that your magic can tell you somepony's ideal match?"

Cadance thought for a moment. "Well, I do have a spell that can show how a relationship between any two ponies would likely play out, based on personalities and past experience. But a spell that outright predicts the ideal relationship is too out-there."

"I see," Twilight said, a hint of dejection lacing her voice.

Then she latched onto the first thing Cadance said. "Wait, you have a relationship-simulating spell?"

Cadance nodded, though clarified, "It's still a work in progress, and it burns through far too much magic for me to use it often."

Twilight's horn gave off an excited spark as she nearly leapt onto the table, eager at the prospect of spell-managing. "Well, why didn't you say so sooner? I'd be happy to help you refine and power it!"

Cadance raised an eyebrow. "What, exactly, brought up this line of thought?"

The purple alicorn blushed, then began to beat around the bush, "W-well, I was thinking, what with Spike and Gabby being pen-pals, and Rainbow Dash and Applejack starting to get closer..."

Cadance eyed her friend skeptically.

Twilight sighed. "I've been feeling lonely lately," she admitted.

A look of sympathy crossed the former foal sitter's face. "Oh my, I didn't realize. Sure, I'll help you."

Twilight could hardly hold a squeal of excitement. "Oh, thank you, Cadance!"

The pink Alicorn chuckled to herself.

After two hours of planning, testing, and fine-tuning, they finally reached a point they felt comfortable at.

"Alright, I think we've got it," Twilight looked over the manuscript that contained the written spell. "Now all that's left is to test it."

Cadance sighed in relief, thankful that they were most likely done. "Now, who exactly did you want to test this with? Besides yourself, of course."

Twilight thought. "I'm not sure..."

"Well," the Princess of Love offered, "who's the first pony that pops into mind when you think of potential romantic relationships?"

Twilight looked off for a moment before muttering, "Flash Sentry..."

Cadance let a devilish smirk dance on her lips. "This world's, or the other's?"

Twilight's face reddened. "Come on, I thought we got past this; I like the PERSONALITY, not the LOOKS!"

Cadance winked. "So this world's, got it."

Her horn lit up with her light-blue magic, and a cloud of magic began to coagulate above them. Twilight lit her horn as well, funneling magic to help power Cadance's spell. Eventually, the magic cloud began swirling, and a gap in the center opened up, revealing a vision to them.

And with that, the madness began.

Twilight X Flash Sentry

Twilight stood on the largest balcony of her Castle and looked over all of Ponyville. The setting sun bathed the landscape in orange light, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere (which only further accentuated the town's already warm and inviting reputation). The Princess of Friendship sighed in euphoria; she wished that the sun would stay right where it was so she could bask in this moment for as long as she wanted.

But a tingling sensation in her flank thrust her out of her bliss. She looked down; her Cutie Mark was glowing in the way she knew all-too well.

Groaning, she stopped leaning on the railing and trotted inside, navigating to the Map Room.

But when she got there, she nearly ran into a sight she hadn't expected.

Nearly, unlike all their other meetings.

Flash Sentry, a rookie guard from the Crystal Empire, was standing next to the door. Images of both Twilight's and his Cutie Marks were floating above the Map, circling just over Ponyville.

The guard snapped to attention the moment he saw her. "Your Highness."

Twilight gestured for him to be at ease, "Please, there's no need to be so formal."

"Of course, Princess," he stated with the same level of stoicism as before, and Twilight rolled her eyes. "It appears that you have summoned me, so I came as quickly as I could."

Twilight wanted to question how he'd arrived so fast, but chalked it up to convenience for the sake of moving the plot along faster. "Actually, it's the Map that's calling both of us," she corrected, "and as such, I'd like you to treat me as an equal."

Flash was thrown off guard, clearly not anticipating this. "O-okay, Miss," he stuttered, unsure of himself.

Twilight approached the Map. "It seems that we're being summoned to solve a friendship problem here in Ponyville," she stated the obvious. "Our first course of action should be to head out and ask around. That way, we'll be able to manage our time –"

"Uhh, Twilight?" Flash tapped the Princess's shoulder with a hoof, flinching back slightly when she turned to face him. "It looks to me like the Cutie Marks are circling this Castle, specifically."

Twilight took a closer look; indeed, the two symbols were looping around the giant crystalline structure itself. "Good observation," she smiled.

Flash blushed. "W-why thank you, Your High–" he caught himself and quickly corrected, "I mean, Twilight."

Twilight turned her gaze to the guard, considering him for a moment. It may have mostly been hormones that had spurred her initial crush, but Twilight would be lying if she said that she didn't genuinely like Flash's personality. He was rather awkward (reminding her of herself at a younger age), but he was also always willing to do the right thing.

She shook those thoughts away, refocusing on the task at hoof. "But if the problem is here in the Castle, then there's only 4 potential candidates: Starlight, Spike, you, and myself. That's 72 relationships that need evaluating."

Flash raised an eyebrow. "72?"

Twilight nodded. "It might be a problem between 2 of us, 3 of us, or even all of us. This may take a while, but–"

"Wait a second," Flash held up a hoof to interrupt her rant before it could begin. "I just had a thought: Wouldn't this Map have called Spike or Starlight if they were involved?"

Twilight gasped. "Why didn't I think of that?? It must be a problem between... Us..."

An air of awkwardness settled in as Twilight quickly lost steam. They stood there for a moment before Flash coughed. "Well, what could the problem between us be?"

The Princess of Friendship's face reddened heavily. "I think I may have an idea," she admitted, eliciting an eyebrow raise in response. "Do you remember my first Princess Summit?"

"Of course," he replied, "that was my second day on the job, and the first time I met you."

Twilight tapped her hooves together anxiously. "How much do you know about what happened there?"

Flash took a moment to recall. "I remember hearing about a former student of Celestia's coming and stealing your crown, and you had to go retrieve it."

Twilight nodded. "Did they ever tell you where she took the crown?"

Flash shook his head.

Twilight cleared her throat, no longer able to stall. "Well, the pony – her name's Sunset Shimmer, by the way – had been hiding out in an alternate dimension, connected to ours by means of a mirror portal."

The guard pony blinked incredulously. Then, slowly, he replied, "Ooookay, but, uh, what does that have to do with me?"

It didn't seem possible, but Twilight's face managed to redden even further. "Well, the thing about that alternate dimension is that it contains counterparts of the ponies here. There's another Cadance, another Celestia, another me... and another you."

Flash's eyes widened at the revelation. "Wait, really? That kinda sounds rad, but what's the problem with that?"

Twilight withdrew. "The thing is, when I went through the portal, I found myself as a teenager again. The hormones this caused, combined with our earlier meeting and several awkward encounters, not to mention your counterpart helping when I was accused of a crime I didn't commit, may have sort of led to a teeny-tiny, uh... crush."

His face reddened. An awkward silence so thick that Discord would have a hard time chewing it hung over them for the longest of moments.

Finally, Flash stammered out, "R-r-really...?"

Twilight nodded meekly. "Y-you were just so sincere, even if somewhat awkward."

Flash let this sink in.

Then, he asked a question that caught her off guard: "What about now?"

She gaped like a fish out of water, before panicking, "I–I don't know. I mean, you barely know me, and I know an alternate universe version of you, and we just kept bumping into each other, a–and it's all so complicated, and–"

In a rather bold move, Flash Sentry laid a hoof on Twilight's shoulder to calm her down. "Twilight," he pressed levelly, "what do you think of me?"

Twilight stared in disbelief at the orange-furred pegasus that was currently holding her shoulder.

Then she smiled. "I think I still like you."

And with that said, they began sloppily kissing. They didn't even care that their Cutie Marks were glowing again; they were too lost in the moment.

Twilight watched the vision unfold with a strange curiosity.

Cadance looked surprised. "Huh, I thought something bad would've happened."

"What happens next?" Twilight asked, perhaps a bit too eagerly.

Cadance brought the spell closer, and began scrubbing through the vision. "Let's see... You start dating, you get engaged after a year, y–"

Suddenly, Cadance stopped dead in her tracks, eyes gaping at the events transpiring in the vision.

Twilight knew that face; that was Cadance's 'existential horror' face (usually, it only came up when Twilight asked if they were immortal like Celestia and Luna). "What is it?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

Cadance didn't speak; instead, she turned the vision to face her friend, who gasped.

According to the simulation, due to his new relationship, Flash Sentry would be away from his post at a critical moment, which would allow a faceless villain to sneak into Cadance's room and...

Well, let's just say that the scene wasn't at all TV-Y friendly.

Twilight barely managed to keep her breakfast down. "Oh, Sweet Celestia, what the buck!?"

Not wanting to look at it anymore, Twilight stopped supplying magic. The magic smoke dissipated, taking the awful scene with it.

"Th-that was...." Cadance sputtered, clearly affected by the whole ordeal.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that," Twilight apologized, "I didn't think that would happen!"

The Princess of Love snapped out of her catatonic state. "N-no, it's not your fault; neither of us could've known."

"If it helps," the purple princess offered, "I don't think I want to see any more after that."

Cadance was about to agree, when a loud snapping sound permeated the air around them. The fabric of space parted to reveal a familiar draconequus.

And boy, was he mad.

"Oh, come on," he complained, "You two barely got started!"

"Discord!?" Twilight glared at him. "What are you doing here; aren't you supposed to be on that Breezie-watching trip with Fluttershy?!"

"Oh, don't worry about that," he casually deflected, "I've got that covered."

Meanwhile...

"Goodness, Discord," Fluttershy giggled, "I know I told you to stay still and not scare the Breezies, but you're really taking that seriously!"

The badly edited-in image of Discord said nothing. Fluttershy shrugged before turning back to her binoculars.

"What do you want, Discord?" Twilight massaged her temples, realizing that she had no hope of getting him to leave.

"I want you two to keep going through with this, but apparently, you two aren't capable enough to put a content filter on your spell." He snapped his claw, and a single line in the spell changed. "There, that should work."

Then Discord leaned in closely to Cadance and whispered, "If I were you, I'd start with Sunset Shimmer; that one's my favorite!"

Twilight lunged forward to try and cut him off, but he disappeared before she reached him, and she instead skidded across the floor on her face.

"Oh my, Twilight," Cadance teased, "I didn't know you swung both ways!"

Twilight peeled herself off of the ground and blushed, "Just do the spell already..."