Silly Songs With Pinkieby TheKMExperienceChaptersQuarantine All-StarStop the Trolls!PoniPlease CommentCake For MeBake It!Lucid DreamsDistressParty the Disney WayWhat A Wonderful SiteSneeze and CoughShe's Not LaughingC.I.H. (Cat in the Hat)R-A-I-N-BOWBlocking You12 Days of ChristmasI Made a Parody Too!The New Year Countdown!No Coffee GroundsA Gardener of Constant MarrowsQueasyArt of the TrollNot Gonna Use the A-WordNever Gonna Click That LinkHostess CakesGummin' 'Round the MountainCan't Take My Eyes Off FoodShrek's HallelujahHigh-Priced HotelQuarantine All-StarAuthor's Note Do I even need to say what this is from? Quarantine All-Star Some PONY once told me a pandemic was coming I didn’t buy a word that they said. They shut down the school of friendship, moved the classes all online As coronavirus started to spread. Well, the case count’s climbing and it won’t stop climbing Campus shut down, this is terrible timing. In-pony instruction can’t resume Goodbye to the classroom, hello Zoom. Nothing to do, nothing to see So for now life’s taking a back seat. This virus is wearin’ a crown It’s ruling us into lockdown. Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home. Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone. Many months into quarantine Had enough of this COVID 19. Now it’s class time, and your internet’s dropping If you’re stressed about class, try grocery shopping. Cuz they’re always out of toilet paper And flour cuz now everyone thinks they’re a baker. Can tell my hair it’s gonna need a trim The weather’s gettin’ warm, oh but don’t you dare swim. Don’t feel inspired, to do chores Honestly I’m lucky to be feeling this bored. Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone. Many months into quarantine Had enough of this COVID 19 Hey now, stop the case growth, help the spread slow, stay home Hey now, turn on Maneflix, streaming your favorite show. Hope they’re close to a vaccine Had enough of this…. Some PONY once asked how we’d run an online class How would we get the students all to engage? Took some prep, and some missteps But to all my students I’m in debt You all adapted so well to change. Well, the days keep comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ Keep working and baking and reading and running. A couple more days until finals come You can’t get smart if your lungs get bum. Maybe more time for studying Social distancing ain’t the worst thing (thanks mom). I hope this is over by fall (too late) But I just ran out of Lysol. Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone. Hope they’re close to a vaccine But till then let’s all keep our hands clean. Two months into quarantine Had enough of this COVID 19. Stop the Trolls!Author's Note Song parodied: Stop the Bats by The Mane 6. Stop the Trolls! Those Internet trolls will give you a fright Posting rude comments both day and night. They rest for a minute, they're really bad And they're hatin' on you just to make you mad They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothing 'cept bringing about all fandoms' destruction. Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss. Those trolls have mamas and papas too They care for their friends just like we ponies do. Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind These creatures have a one-track mind. The Internet's not their place to be But do the consequences they ever see? No...they don't! And that is just a fact These trolls, they simply don't know how to act. That's where I have to disagree They're just like you, and just like me Sharing views both far and wide. You see one comin', you'd better run and hide! They're big and ugly and mean as sin Will ya look at the state the comments are in? They help your content, it'll get known faster. They've turned my life...to a total disaster! Well, I for one don't have a doubt These vermin must be stamped right out. I second that, they've got to go These trolls, they've got to hit the road! It comes down to just one simple fact They've crossed the line, it's time to fight them back! Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls! Make them go and not come back! Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls! Make them go and not come back! Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls! Make them go and not come back! Yes...it comes down to just one simple fact They've crossed the line, it's time that we attack! PoniAuthor's Note Song parodied: Happy by Pharrell Williams Poni Hello there, hoomans! Pinkie Pie here! Hee, but you already know that, silly. This song is about taking pride in being a brony/pegasister. Despite some of us being afraid to admit to being one, we all like to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes, saying, "I watch this show because I like it!" Before we begin, I just have one li'l question for ya ... Are you PONI? Hit it! It might seem crazy, what I'm 'bout to say Celestia's light's shining on my face Well, I'm pumped up and ready for a new day Yet again, seems everything's going my way (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do Return of Luna went by quick Discord's reign, it was short lived. Now they're both reformed and doing just fine Changelings and Tirek will say goodbye. Here's why... (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round, I said now raise your hooves high Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round (See, lemme tell ya now) Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round, I said now raise your hooves high Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round, I said (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do. (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do. Please CommentAuthor's Note Song parodied: Be Our Guest. Please Comment Please comment Please comment Put our songs right to the test So unfair to see responses blank Not answered like the rest "Yes, you rock!" "Gosh, you suck!" "Your lyrics are totally schmuck!" Whether praises or complaining At least something we'll be gaining Sing along Do a jig In your bed room, it's no big! And play it in your head from now until Lent So please express your joy Our ego don't destroy So please comment Please comment Please comment Give it ones Or some twos So we'll know how crowds will boo If it really does lack flavour Just say: "Stuff it down the loo!" If you like Say it's nice Threes or fours will suffice Say what parts could use some changing Or which beats need rearranging If you think that it's art And the work is really smart Don't be stingy with the fives,oh, please relent You will get our attention And heartfelt affection Please comment If you're bent To say nothing, now repent! Please comment Please comment Please comment Parodies we're serving No replies are so unnerving When you pour your sweat and blood into a song Spending sleepless nights to find the right words There are times the process is so long Our heads, we are breaking Our creativity aching Just to highlight our satirical skill Most days, just a line or two, we're able Then sweet inspiration! So please give appreciation! Please comment Please comment We believe it's all well meant It won't cost you much No bills and such Won't charge a single cent It'll just take a little time And we'll both feel so sublime One good turn deserves another Your parody we will flatter We could become good friends Converse until the day's end And forge bonds from Jakarta right up to Kent It pays well to be nice Like girls, sugar and spice So please comment (Yes, Comment!) Please comment (Just comment!) Please comment Please comment Be a lady, be a gent When we bare our heart and soul to you It's nice to leave no dent Give your say, say your piece Opinions come out with ease When it's from your mouth you're speaking So what is the diff with typing? It's no chore And no bore And won't leave your fingers sore It's not like coughing up money to pay rent It's just consideration To show credit-ation So comment Please comment! Just comment! Won't you comment?!! Cake For MeAuthor's Note Song parodied: Take on Me by A-ha Cake For Me I'm eating away I don't know what else to make I'll bake it anyway Vanilla, chocolate Any kind's good For my birthday I'll be getting one for Sunday. Cake for me (Cake for me) Spoon and fork (More cake, please) Another slice Maybe one or two. I want some, I say For dessert Good with some ice cream The candles are blown away Getting seconds, you know that it is okay Going on three I'll save some for another day. Cake for me (Cake for me) Small or large (More cake, please) Two layers With fruit on it, too. Oh, things I eat They would taste better if they had something on the side Out of all things I've had for dessert A piece of cake It's what I'm craving for Right now, today. Cake for me (Cake for me) I want some more (More cake, please) Nothing else Only cake will do (Cake for me) Cake for me (Cake for me) Spoon and fork (More cake, please) I'll have more In a day or two... (Cake for me) Bake It!Author's Note Song parodied: Beat It by Michael Jackson. Bake It! I tell you, I can’t take this diet no more I bought some extra things, while I was at the store Some flour, and some eggs, so my taste buds won’t be bored So Bake It, Just Bake It With buttercream, and butter greasing the pan Don’t wanna just eat fruit, I can’t do that again I want a big slice, though it widens my can So Bake It, ‘cause I want some cake, bad! Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It With real butter, please don’t fake it Cake down my gullet, making me wide Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right So Bake It, Bake It Just Bake It, Bake It So Bake It, Bake It Just Bake It, Bake It While out at the store, held off best that I could Almost convinced my dessert days were gone for good And then I got a taste, a free sample, got wood So Bake It, Just Bake It You oughta know that this is really unfair I never shoulda taken your dumb “Diet Dare!” Well I know stallions all like big derrieres So Bake It, since I’m already fat Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It Without cake, I just can’t make it Bake a 4-layer one, buttercream iced With a cold glass of milk would be nice Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It With real butter, please don’t fake it Cake down my gullet, making me wide Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right So Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It So what if I look bad naked? Show you how hungry I am for cake Feel kind of empty, my stomach aches So Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It Without cake, I just can’t make it Bake a 4-layer one, buttercream iced With a cold glass of milk would be nice Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It With real butter, please don’t fake it Cake down my gullet, making me wide Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It So what if I look inflated? Show you how hungry I am for cake Feel kind of empty, my stomach aches Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It BAKE IT!!! Lucid DreamsAuthor's Note Song parodied: Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD. Lucid Dreams I thought dreams were meant to be mad, true But so far, disappointment reigns, dude What happened to magic battles with space goo? "Stuck in school" is lame, you just make me irate, dude, oh Talk to myself a bunch, but then a new thought struck: Normally I move on with the stupid script But now the plot is stuck, which is fine because it sucked Can I pull off a switch please? This can't be, how am I able to Notice that this is a dream state, dude? Cause normally I just roll with the lame feud That this dream has made, you should not be blasé, dude, oh Why is this a sitcom and not an action romp? I could relive this plot by just watchin' Friends With this bullcrap, I'm done and just like that, there's no-one Who's willin' to object? Jeez Takin' control of the blandness inside my brain That's all that I've wanted since, ah All my descriptions of what I dreamed 'bout were lame My friends think I'm bland as spit I've wanted lucid dreams since I heard they were things Late night perusin' blog threads People would dream of things like bustin' huge crime rings While I just have spats with friends, ah, ah, ah I'm lookin' out for some tips, some kinda mental-type trick To make my dreams more lucid in a way that's more consistent Than it's been in the past, once-in-a-blue-moon crap Why can't I have a legit brain? Always looked forward to the madness, mate Since the cartoons showed that that should be the way All I wanted was a sweet lunar escape But all that I got was simply mundane My dreams are mundane Borin' and mundane (sick of bein' nude in the classroom) My dreams are mundane Borin' and mundane (want more in the magical vein, dude) My dreams are mundane (int'restin' is so far away) Borin' and mundane (I want to save the whole world from doom) (but do I get that ? No way) My dreams are mundane as (my brain can think up some amazin' tales) But when I'm asleep, all it can do is fail I still see some holes that assume I fake all my problems, that ain't true "You can't recall all the dreams from your brain, dude" That's where I'm afraid you are wrong, I'll explain true, oh After each borin' one, as soon as I wake up I always write 'em down so I won't forget Just in case there's someone who thinks that I'm makin' up How my brain just detests me So please tell me all about how you Consistently trick all your brains to Make you a god in the realm that you made, dudes Want to replicate you and not just berate you, oh My nights have been so dull, my int'rest in them null I'm almost droppin' off inside my own head After you've got your dumb Inception jokes out, please, bud Is there a chance you'll help me? As a problem, sounds daft, not worth bein' an Both of us were the holes, mate You dismissed my story as crap and lame I'm so desp'rate that I got badly irate Want a good dream for once, don't be a jerk...want to know your tricks To turn your slumber...into fun to ease my narcolepsy. DistressAuthor's Note Song parodied: Finesse by Bruno Mars. Distress Woo! Bust down door, that I'll have to fix Once these guys are out my face (aha) Here for me, they want a hostage, not gonna Cooperate, cause that's lame (believe me) Give that thug a noogie, that one a right hook (hook) The third gets smacked, I guess he mistook (took) The skinny princess for an easy-peasy grab (ha) Stronger than I seem, have a nice trip through the glass like ayy Kickin' all the flanks like ayy Won't leave me to rot, okay (okay), okay (okay)? Oh yeah, a damsel in distress is not my way, ow Ooh-ooh, awful fact for a princess (a princess) That the evil ones want me in a box (in a box, woo!) Yeah, I've never been that convinced it (convinced it) Is a plight I have to brush right off I'd like to stay in my room (like to stay in my room) And not be wrapped in chains (and not be wrapped in chains) But if you're a big goof (but if you're a big goof)? Okay, silly, I'll play (so) Just a little common sense, oh, got lessons in self-defense Shut your stuff down on sight, that's right Won't be some damsel in distress I don't need that mess I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know Won't be some damsel in distress Here, have my two fists hooves I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know it Won't hold me captive for ransom (ransom's so cliche now) To be honest, though, still think you should try (do please try), yeah-eah-eah Your attempts are so pathetic that I'm floored As your goon's face is, eat tile Breakin' walls with your goons (breakin' walls with your goons) No teeth left in their face (no teeth left in their face) While the kingdom assumes (while the kingdom assumes) That I embody grace (no) Which I do, still got that sense, oh, blame it on my dear parents But I help them sleep tight with fights Won't be some damsel in distress Cause who needs that mess? I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know Won't be some damsel in distress Spare my dad from fits I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know it (woo!) Ev'ry time some crazy dummy dares to climb Up the parapet, stupid creepin' vines (woo!) I just grab my box of rocks and let 'em fly (let 'em fly) If they make it up here? Good try (ow!) Yeah, the villainous goon squads never seem to stop Comin' after me, give it up, ayy Yeah, they think they're gonna stuff me in burlap, but, yeah Jerks don't know that I'll kick butt Yeah, you'd think after six months, they'd be catchin' on (he-ey) Would they admit I beat them up? Nay (cause these are macho dudes) Yeah, I manage to keep up the facade enough, please (woo! Woo! Woo!) Won't be some damsel in distress (distressin' nothin') Kick flanks in my dress I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know (woo!) Won't be some damsel in distress, whack goons daily Guards are bored as spit (oh-ooh-oh) I'm no damsel in distress (yeah, yeah) That's bogus, you know it (jerks will never stop it, bring 'em on) Yeah, I cannot wait to clock 'em upside their block Drive a high heel straight through the crotch, ayy Yeah, I'd love to take a pop, gimme all you got I'll throw fists, you know it (ooh-ooh-ooh) Yeah, don't care what kinda plot you've got goin' on (always nonsense) Cause your goons all fall to my punch, ayy Yeah, the poor saps will be dropped out my window cause They're hopeless, you know it Ow! Party the Disney WayAuthor's Note Song parodied: Party in the U.S.A by Miley Cyrus. Requested by Scarlet Scribe. Party the Disney Way Taking a trip to Disneyland Such a dream with stories to tell Welcome to the land of princesses Will I get to see Twi Belle? Got to the gate Here I am for the first time Look to my right and I see the admission line. This is so amazing Everything is just like magic. My tummy's turnin' and I'm kinda wanting dole whip. Too much pressure what to do next. That's when we wanted to go on the first ride But the Star Tours line was long The Space Mountain line was long Found the Indy to go on. So I put my ears on Gonna stroll along. Standing in long lines today Got my cotton candy like, yeah Ate a churro like, yeah I got my ears on I’m singing this song. As I stroll down Main Street today Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way. Went from the Park down to DCA And Cars Land is waiting for me now. Like with DJ's beats, I’m rockin' kicks. Everypony look at me now Got to ride on Marvel galaxy It's definitely not Ariel's undersea. Went to get another churro Got pictures with the Marvel heroes. The time is ticking and I'm feelin' kind of anxious Too much pressure what to do next. That's when we passed on the Grizzly ride so we took the bakery tour. then around the world we soar And the frozen show once more. So I put my ears on, gonna stroll along Standing in long lines today. Got English toffee like, yeah Ate kettle corn like, yeah I got my ears on, I’m singing this song As I’m strolling down DCA. Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way. What A Wonderful SiteAuthor's Note Song parodied: What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. Requested by Bronie312. What A Wonderful Site I see loads of groups, odd forums too I see them bloom, like li'l Scootaloo. And I look back and think What a wonderful site. I see stories of myself, so wild and bright. Like Celestia's peppy day And Luna's calming night. And I look back and think What a wonderful site. Fans of my friend Rainbow, so petty that they'd fight. And denouncing other ponies, and saying that they're trite. I see fans sharing fics, hearing "That's pretty cool". They're really saying "I fear you". I see bronies crying, I watch them moan Why they whine here, well I'll never know. But I look back and think What a wonderful site. Yes, I look back and think What a wonderful site. Oh, yeaaaaaaah... Stay silly, my little ponies! Sneeze and CoughAuthor's Note Song parodied: Shake it Off by Taylor Swift. Sneeze and Cough Just looked at the date, there's no more time to wait Spring is nearly here, mmm hmm, the worst time of year, mmm hmm Wish I could hibernate, 'cause my allergies await When spring is fully sprung, mmm hmm, nothing can be done, mmm hmm. I know it’s soon when, flowers start their bloomin’ Pollen count is zoomin’ soon will find me and keep me up all night. 'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. My eyes are turning red, just wanna be in bed. Before I start to wheeze, my inhaler, if you please? Chest is feelin’ tight, head is feelin’ light Running at the nose mmm mmm, wipe it all over my clothes mmm mmm. I’ve got this fever, I need a pain reliever Before I take this cleaver, to my nose, maybe even to my whole face. 'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Hey, Hey, Hey Just remember while you’re out there getting exposed to all the germs in this dirty, dirty world That the mare you love has been sick all week. All day long comin’ out of both ends Thinkin’ “Oh Dear Celestia!", feels like I’m going to freeze Tell the ponies in at work: didn’t want to be a jerk Getting mucus everywhere when I’m so diseased, yeah. 'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. She's Not LaughingAuthor's Note Song parodied: I'm Still Standing by Elton John. Yes, this is Cheese singing, lol. She's Not Laughing Special date tonight plans are made Romantic flowers and a serenade Wrote her a silly cheeky song and right on cue I am singing, ripping off my clothes, revealing Underoos. She wants a picture she can show her friends Hey look at me, sticking out my tongue again Thought it was kinda cute, in an impish way I watch her silly, sweet, seductive smile, as it fades away. And she says, "I'm not laughing at a single thing you did! Think your awful puns are funny? Acting like a little kid!" She's not laughing, while we're stuck in line Guess Piranaconda's not the romance flick she had in mind She's not laughing...nah nah nah! She's not laughing...nah nah nah! Said I'm sorry, things are on the mend Till I play moist for eighty points in Words With Friends Make lyrics up to all her favorite songs And I hid soysauce packs in places, where they do not belong. You know she's not laughing, when her errand trip goes bad Cannot find the door she wanted, now we're at the bar instead She's not laughing but she sure does curse When I smack the cartdoor everytime she backs up in reverse She's not laughing...nah nah nah! She's not laughing...nah nah nah! Now you know that she's not laughing, not even a little bit Made me shop all day at Michael's, put me on her smoothie kick Got her haircut real short just for spite Locked the bedroom door, guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! I'm not laughing...nah nah nah! C.I.H. (Cat in the Hat)Author's Note Song parodied: M.I.B. (Men in Black) by Will Smith. C.I.H. (Cat in the Hat) Here comes the C I H, It's the C I H, here comes the CIH. Here comes the CIH, Watch out for his whiskers. The big cat wears a hat remember that, Just in case you ever face to face and make contact, The title that he takes, CIH, means you better watch out or he'll scratch your face. He'll chase you up the stairs, With his long sharp claws and his big striped hat on, Hide in shadows, hear his purr, better watch out if you see his fur. But no he ain't like no other jocks, He don't drink no milk, and he don't use no litter box, Heard someone meow? Watch your back, cuz you never quite know where the CIH is at. Here comes the CIH, Throwing kitty litter. Here comes the CIH, Better feed him dinner. On the coldest and darkest night, On the horizon, You see his eyes shine like headlights. He'll steal your tuna when you leave the room, And when you return prepare to meet your doom, You can tell he's mad when you see him, With his ears back, and his tail up. Pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming, And if not you better start screaming. Don't make a sound if you hear him lickin', Know what I mean? That's your chance to start getting wicked on him, Grab your yarn, your catnip, your tuna fish, And make a trap he just cannot resist. So just don't go near him, if you ever do hear him, Steer clear of him, just fear him. CIH coming to scratch your back, What's that stand for? Cat In Hat. Let me see you just pounce with me, Just pounce with me, just pounce with me come on. Let me see you just purr with me, Just purr with me, just purr with me come on. Let me see you just scratch with me, Just scratch with me, just scratch with me come on, Now use your whiskers. Now meow! Here comes the CIH, Throwing kitty litter. Here comes the CIH, Better give him dinner. Now listen, let me tell you in a hurry, I know he might be real furry, But trust me if he ever comes for you, Believe me, there is something you can do. Just hide in the closet with a baseball bat, And when he comes in give him a great big whack. Now go on with your life, forget the CIH, Cause too much thinking can cause a headache. There went the CIH, Whacked him with a big bat. There went the CIH, Knocked him out of his hat. There went the CIH, Whacked him like a baseball. There went the CIH, Knocked him into the wall. R-A-I-N-BOWI have a pegasus bestie And Rainbow is her name-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. She's soft like velvet, cool as ice And runs just like the wind-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. One ear goes up, one ear stays down She cocks her head to hear-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. Her tail's like her, so full of swag She's so cool to be near-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. She's got some socks with stripes on it And loves for us to try it R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o Boy, she is the cat's meow And you can bet she knows it R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. So. Awesome! Author's Note Song parodied: B-I-N-G-O. Blocking YouAuthor's Note Song parodied: Rock With You by Michael Jackson. Blocking You Nerds think online Anonymity protects you So they're there hidin' Behind cute anime girls, true I tend to fi-ind These are jerks tryna hide So what amuses me When they're gettin' really abusive Swear at me a ton I simply block those dudes (online) Goodbye "dats so lame" (not fine) I will be blockin' you (online) Can't hurl your racist lines my wa-ay Mmm-mmm-mmm I do abho-or When these flank holes refuse to budge Accounts get hacked Or they just set up brand new ones Claim "just a jo-oke" When they called me "silly-nose" Wanna yell at me Because I've got my own opinions Which ain't theirs and thus (it's not theirs) I'm gonna block those dudes (online) Farewell "hate ur face" (not fine) I will be blockin' you-ou-ou (online) Can't hurl your hurtful lines my wa-ay I never assume that they're long gone, yeah-eah Long as my stuff's online They're gonna troll forever, sucks I might be blockin' you Won't be approvin' you I might be blockin' you Won't be approvin' you You'll all get blocked (online) You foo-oo-oo-ool ne-e-erds (that's right) Blockin' you, all off you, yeah (online) Spread the word: you're la-ame, uh (that's right) I will be blockin' you, yeah-eah (online) If you don't behave (that's right) Others will block you, du-u-u-ude (online) Alone, you will sta-ay (that's right) Just your peeps, load of freaks, woo (online) Big circle of lame (that's right) You will get blo-o-o-o-o-ocked (online) Cause of what you sa-ay (that's right) 12 Days of ChristmasAuthor's Note Song parodied: 12 Days of Christmas. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!!! 💖🎄🎁 12 Days of Christmas On the first day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: A big bowl of Ravioli. On the second day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the third day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Eight clowns a-clownin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Ten gifts for Gummy Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Eleven rubber chickens Ten gifts for Gummy Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Twelve candy-apples Eleven rubber chickens Ten gifts for Gummy Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioliiiiiiiiiii. I Made a Parody Too!Author's Note Song parodied: Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo! from Cinderella. I Made a Parody Too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Let's take a lyrical stew Change all the lyrics and what have I got? I made a parody too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Parodies are really cool. Spoof Freddie's "Rhapsody" often than not I made a parody too! It's silly like Mr. Bean; Electric Boogaloo And from hip-hop to pop, I mock and bop, yes I made a parody too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Let's take a lyrical stew Change all the lyrics and what have I got? I made a parody too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Parodies are really cool Change all the lyrics and what have I got? I made a parody too! The New Year Countdown!Author's Note Song parodied: The Final Countdown by Europe. The New Year Countdown! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. We're dropping it out, But still it's 2021. And maybe we'll come back To earth, who can tell? I guess there is no one to do. We're getting ground (getting ground). Will things ever be the same again? It's the New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. We're heading for 2021 (2021). And still we stand tall. 'Cause maybe they've seen us. And welcome us all, yeah. With so many better years to go And things to be found (to be found) I'm sure that we'll all get times so. It's the New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. It's the New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. It's the New Year countdown. We're getting together. The New Year countdown. We'll all get her so. It's the New Year countdown. It's the New Year countdown. Let's GO! No Coffee GroundsAuthor's Note Song parodied: Don't Bring Me Down by ELO. No Coffee Grounds Got up this morning knowing I am behind, Get to my coffee, shuffle then to my rhyme. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. You went and got a whiff of fancy blends I'm telling you it's way too much to spend. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! It wakes me u-u-u-u-p. What happened to the brew that used to flow? You put my grinds out in the garbage I know. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. You're always talkin' crazy cafe lites, One of these days you'll wake up in the night. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! It wakes me u-u-u-u-p. You're looking good, you think you've way too much class. One of these days you'll fall and break your No coffee grounds, No no, no no, no no, no no, no, no,ooh ooh. I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. It's got me shaking, got me running all day, But got me crawling up to sip every day. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds, grounds, grounds, grounds, grounds. I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. A Gardener of Constant Marrows(With constant marrows all her days) I am a gardener with constant marrows Courgettes doubled in many ways I grow 'em well and am lucky From slugs they're safe on a bed raised. (From slugs they're safe on a bed raised) For 6 long years I've gone to trouble Sowing them here on earth I've found Four feet of space each they're bound to ramble I have to thin them out in rows. (She has to thin them out in rows) Supplied her real well my old true mother Tho' they left her stomach in great pain Four I gave to Clive and Graham had loads Dont think they want any more again (Don't think they want any more again) Marrows have buried me in a deep valley As fast as I gather I find more lay And you may have to learn to love marrow To stop me turning in my grave. (To stop her turning in her grave) Maybe your friends think I'm no danger My marrows they'll never see no more But there is one promise that is given I'll bring you marrows on God's Golden Shore. (She'll bring you marrows on God's Golden Shore) "Yee-haw!" Author's Note Requested by Heartland Picker. Song parodied: I Am A Man of Constant Sorrows by Soggy Bottom Boys. QueasyAuthor's Note Song parodied: Easy by The Commodores. Queasy "Almost there, deary." "N-No, I'm finey as winey," Pinkie slurs, struggling to stand up straight as the Cakes help her upstairs. "Honest..." Hit with a terrible cold, Pinkie is carefully escorted up the second floor of Sugarcube Corner by the Cakes, both of whom are wearing homemade hazmat suits. "You're sick, Pinkie," Mrs. Cake states. "You need to rest now." "Nooooooo, I'm fiiiiine..." "You must," Mr. Cake nods, keeping her steady. "The medication should kick in soon. Good thing we bought this Pinkie-proof rope." The two lay Pinkie in her bed, strapping her down with sturdy red ropes. "W-Who manufactures this stuff?" Pinkie snorts. Pony secured, the couple head downstairs. In her flustered and crazed state, Pinkie shuffles around to the sound of a piano. I know I sound woozy, but I just can't stand the pain. Any asprin I could borrow? Celestia knows I've done all I can You see I've coughed, sneezed in my sorrow, yeah, owww. It's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. Why in the world would anypony try to restrain ol' me? I have my rights to shake it. Everypony wants me to sleep 'cuz my mind's in too deep It's too hard for me to fake it, no, owwww. It's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. I feel so hiiiiiiiigh, so hiiigh I wanna be clean so I can do my job alright. I'm gonna be clean Trust me, oh gosh... [Sick guitar solo] "Everything okay up here?" Mrs. Cake asks, popping her head in. "You hear that?" Pinkie giggles to herself. "Whoever's playing that guitar sure can rock, huh? So soothing..." "Oh my, this is a rough cold. Be right back." That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. Cause I'm queasy Queasy and I feel like hurling (Ahhhhh-choo!) Cause I'm queasy Queasy and I feel like hurling (Ahhhhh-choo!) Cause I'm queeeeeeeasaaaayyy... With that final raspy note, the feverish pony passes out just as the Cakes come in. "Finally, she's asleep," Mrs. Cake sighs. "What were you going to do with that frying pan, honey?" "...safety precautions." Mr. Cake muffles. Art of the TrollAuthor's Note Song parodied: Art of the Dress by Tabitha St. Germain aka Rarity. Art of the Troll Thread by thread, Whining ‘bout the typo Yahoove’s next. Trolling in the answers page by page Making sure the asker gets angry. And the other people fill with rage Always peeving off the Xbox users. Making sure the furries feel like losers I’m acting like a troll. Chan by chan Peeving off the admins. On a roll Don’t you know not to talk to a troll? Pretend to be a Bieber fan’s desire Make those O-mare-gle users retire. Think I’ll mock that idiot guy’s fails Then laugh at him when he wails. It’s HoofTube’s new troll. Rick Rolling’s easy Everyone clicks the link. Other people never tease me But I bother them. "Do you think this joke’s cheesy?" Something rude Perhaps quite risqué. Now a lie All these people scream “Please die!” Making sure it fits for Yahoo’s board. Don’t think that I’ll ever get bored And although it makes them go berserk. I don’t care if I look like a jerk I’m being a rude troll. Post by post, ban by ban Furs, noobs, fans, and Mormons Thread by thread, on a roll Nerd by nerd, then Rick Roll And that’s the art of the troll! Site by site, bothering the mods now Hurt foals, don’t you know the troll’s all like to fight? Even if your next comeback is perfect You’re gonna be arguing all night Thinking ‘bout the next forum to bother Time to give a flame war a good light I’m spamming all my friends! Hour by hour, one more noob I’m angering the ponies on HoofTube. Chris-Chan is going to lose his mind Whinnipedia has banned me one more time. HorseChan’s now making guys go blind You won’t believe what your email will find. Trolling is easy, everyone’s a dope Going to a brand new web site. Have to flame all the threads, still up around nighttime. All they ever want is some good manners All I really want is a good show. Gotta balance humor with tastelessness Talkin’ ‘bout things that are not my business. And if you never think “Oh, buck it!” I’ll keep going ‘til you kick the bucket! Gotta anger this generation Remember, it’s all in the presentation! Post by post, site by site Nerds, furs, noobs, up all night. Meme by meme, more Rick Roll Chan by chan, won’t get old And that’s the art of the troll! . . Not Gonna Use the A-WordAuthor's Note Song parodied: We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel. Not Gonna Use the A-Word Tail, hiney, bottom, hammy Butt, booty, rear, fanny Tush, posterior, tushie, keister, gluteus, backside Seat, caboose, rear end Hindquarters, tail-end Haunches, gluteus maximus, glutes, behind Not gonna use the A-word! I won't use that word, too many times I've heard it Not gonna use the A-word! It's for an ignoramus, so you cannot shame us Ham, rump, pollutes the air, Breech, buns, derriere, Can, cheeks, full moon, keester, beam, shaft, bum Seat, nates, hunkers, duff Gosh, writing this song is tough! Fundament, beam, stern, I can't come up with any more! Not gonna use the A-word! We're a little short, but we can make it work, though Not gonna use the A-word! But I quit, these words don't go on, and on, and on, and on! Not gonna use the A-word! No I never will, though it wouldn't kill me Not gonna use the A-word! I will always fight it, because it blights the world! I'm out, y'all, XD... Never Gonna Click That LinkAuthor's Note I don't even need to tell you... Never Gonna Click That Link We're on the internet Don't know the rules, so I'm a fool. An explanation's what I'm thinking of You'd hear this from any other noob. I just wanna tell you I've been Rick Rolled. gotta make you understand Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. I've heard this darn song for so long My ears are bleeding, but I'm too shy to say it Inside we both know what is going on We know the game and we're gonna lose it. And if you ask me if I saw it Don't tell me you didn't know Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. (Ooooooh, click that link) (Ooooooh, click that link) Never gonna click, never gonna click. (Click that link) Never gonna click, never gonna click. (Click that link) I've heard this darn song for so long My ears are bleeding, but I'm too shy to say it. Inside we both know what is going on We know the game and we're gonna lose it. I just wanna tell you I've been Rick Rolled Gotta make you understand. Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. You'll click it... Hostess CakesAuthor's Note Song parodied: Poker Face by Lady Gaga. Hostess Cakes Yum, yum, yum, aah Yum, yum, yum, aah I wanna cram ‘em down my throat ’cuz I love their taste Cream-filled Ding Dongs and Twinkies better than Tasty Kakes (I love ‘em) I want to go to the Hostess Store and fill my cart On sweet snacks I am hooked, from delicious goodies won’t depart Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go They hit the spot, fruit pies and what-not Ho, ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go, They fill me up, and don’t cost a lot Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) Can’t believe they’re gonna shut down the factory Loss of Cupcakes, Donettes, and beloved Twinkies (I hate it) Fighting depression won’t be the same without these snacks And when they’re gone, like Marathon, they’re never comin’ back Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go They hit the spot, fruit pies and what-not Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go, They fill me up, and don’t cost a lot Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) I can tell you that I’ll miss you Nothing like you Creamy fillings I was lovin’ Sugar dyin‘, all those snacks into my face was shovin’ Used to grab ‘em in the aisles Boxes of Twinkies and Chocodiles Yes, them I‘ll miss, them I’ll miss To so many ponies they brought smiles Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) Gummin' 'Round the MountainAuthor's Note Song parodied: Comin' Round the Mountain. Gummin' 'Round the Mountain She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Just a little toothless granny, But her chewin' is uncanny, She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums She cuds better than the horses eatin' oats Munchin' meals with all the courses, never bloats Can't afford a false teeth chopper, But, that ain't a' gonna stop her, She cuds better than the horses eatin' oats She's an old tough apple eater with her gums She's an old tough apple eater with her gums She drives her whole fam'ly all nuts She can even crack black walnuts, Just keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Harder than a stone her old jawbone's become Even stronger than that new Titanium She can gobble up tough turkey Even pulverize hay jerky, She keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Never has no indigestion, needs no Tums Puckered up around the mouth like ole dry plums Even chaws home grown tobacc'er Spats on rats who would attack her, Just keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Once, they held a chewin' contest where she's from Won it, and made other chewers look real dumb She devoured fifty carrot dogs Like a buzz saw sawin' logs And she never even missed one little crumb Goes on gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Always gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Now, you've heard of her adventures, You know she don't need no dentures, She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Just a' gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums. Can't Take My Eyes Off FoodAuthor's Note Song parodied: Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Andy Williams. Food is a parody way of life!!! 🍕 Can't Take My Eyes Off Food You're just too tasty to me What can I do? I must eat. It'd be like heaven to munch I just want my special crunch. At long last take-out arrived With this food I'll surely thrive. It's so sweet, it sticks like glue Can't take my eyes off of food. Sorry but I love the taste Must eat a slower pace. I need to get me some eats Bread, eggs, or maybe some beets. Finally the food has returned Geez, I hope my grits ain't burned. It's so sweet it, sticks like glue Can't take my eyes off food. I need some pancakes, syrup's a little light A little thicker, then I might take a bite. I need some cheese too, I need some cream cheese. Those Belgian waffles, they make me smile all day Now that I'm eating, my smile'll surely stay. And let me num you, baby, let me num you. You're just too tasty to me What can I do? I must eat. It'd be like heaven to munch I just want my special crunch. At long last take-out arrived With this food I'll surely thrive. It's so sweet it sticks like glue Can't take my eyes off food. I need some pancakes, syrup's a little light A little thicker, then I might take a bite. I need some cheese too, I need some cream cheese. Those Belgian waffles, they make me smile all day Now that I'm eating, my smile'll surely stay. Oh, yummy baby. Shrek's HallelujahAuthor's Note Song parodied: Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. Shrek's Hallelujah I heard there was an ogre green And people mistook him for being mean But he didn't really care for them, did he? He went to live in a swamp alone He made it nice it was his home The forlorn beast was singing hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah...Hallelujah. Then one day a Donkey gray Bumped him while he ran away Then hid so that the knights would never find him He talked until his throat was sore He talked and talked and talked some more And the ogre had a headache hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The ogre found this Donkey a pain Then that night a worse fate came While he was eating dinner by the fire It started with the three blind mice And other creatures sacrificed He couldn't rid them all out hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The creatures from each fairy-tale Told him though 'twas no avail Some guy named Farquaad had them all evicted He told them all get off my land And go right back to where you can He took the talking donkey hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Well this Farquaad was really short His demeanor's such an awful sort He picked a wife thanks to the magic mirror Then sent the ogre on a quest Who found the princess and felt stressed Because she was so needy hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Fiona when the time was right When day had given way to night A spell that she'd been given, came true She was an ogre big and green Her teeth looked ugly her face looked mean While Donkey screamed in terror hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Next morning when Fiona woke Farquaad came and when he spoke He wanted her so he could just be king The ogre and Donk had an argument Finally they had a settlement And went to crash the wedding hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The ogre shouted I object And Farquaad thought he was a wreck Which made the princes take the form of true love Then Farquaad wanted her locked back up The dragon came and ate him up It's another happy ending hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah...Hallelujah Hallelujah. High-Priced HotelAuthor's Note Song parodied: Highway to Hell by AC/DC. High-Priced Hotel Traveling cozy Isn’t free Bought a reservation for a master suite I’m really tired Let me sleep What the hay? This isn’t cheap!!! Must be the season? Convention time? Shoulda checked-out the specials Discounted rates, Online… Now I‘m stuck with an expensive bill, HEY!!! I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! More service charges Maxed my credit limit Even tipping’s got me down Carry my luggage? Just forget it Hit the bar, had several rounds Hey, Hilton! Change my room This bill I don’t understand Hey, Hilton! I gotta check out I'm on my way to Disney Land-ZOOM!!! (Gotta get the buck outta here) I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! Buck, nothing’s cheap Pay, pay, pay! I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced! Hotel High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! Bill’s not goin' down, have to paa-ay-aay, whoa!!! In a high-priced hotel. Get me outta here!
Quarantine All-StarAuthor's Note Do I even need to say what this is from? Quarantine All-Star Some PONY once told me a pandemic was coming I didn’t buy a word that they said. They shut down the school of friendship, moved the classes all online As coronavirus started to spread. Well, the case count’s climbing and it won’t stop climbing Campus shut down, this is terrible timing. In-pony instruction can’t resume Goodbye to the classroom, hello Zoom. Nothing to do, nothing to see So for now life’s taking a back seat. This virus is wearin’ a crown It’s ruling us into lockdown. Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home. Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone. Many months into quarantine Had enough of this COVID 19. Now it’s class time, and your internet’s dropping If you’re stressed about class, try grocery shopping. Cuz they’re always out of toilet paper And flour cuz now everyone thinks they’re a baker. Can tell my hair it’s gonna need a trim The weather’s gettin’ warm, oh but don’t you dare swim. Don’t feel inspired, to do chores Honestly I’m lucky to be feeling this bored. Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone. Many months into quarantine Had enough of this COVID 19 Hey now, stop the case growth, help the spread slow, stay home Hey now, turn on Maneflix, streaming your favorite show. Hope they’re close to a vaccine Had enough of this…. Some PONY once asked how we’d run an online class How would we get the students all to engage? Took some prep, and some missteps But to all my students I’m in debt You all adapted so well to change. Well, the days keep comin’ and they don’t stop comin’ Keep working and baking and reading and running. A couple more days until finals come You can’t get smart if your lungs get bum. Maybe more time for studying Social distancing ain’t the worst thing (thanks mom). I hope this is over by fall (too late) But I just ran out of Lysol. Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone. Hope they’re close to a vaccine But till then let’s all keep our hands clean. Two months into quarantine Had enough of this COVID 19.
Stop the Trolls!Author's Note Song parodied: Stop the Bats by The Mane 6. Stop the Trolls! Those Internet trolls will give you a fright Posting rude comments both day and night. They rest for a minute, they're really bad And they're hatin' on you just to make you mad They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothing 'cept bringing about all fandoms' destruction. Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss. Those trolls have mamas and papas too They care for their friends just like we ponies do. Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind These creatures have a one-track mind. The Internet's not their place to be But do the consequences they ever see? No...they don't! And that is just a fact These trolls, they simply don't know how to act. That's where I have to disagree They're just like you, and just like me Sharing views both far and wide. You see one comin', you'd better run and hide! They're big and ugly and mean as sin Will ya look at the state the comments are in? They help your content, it'll get known faster. They've turned my life...to a total disaster! Well, I for one don't have a doubt These vermin must be stamped right out. I second that, they've got to go These trolls, they've got to hit the road! It comes down to just one simple fact They've crossed the line, it's time to fight them back! Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls! Make them go and not come back! Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls! Make them go and not come back! Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls! Make them go and not come back! Yes...it comes down to just one simple fact They've crossed the line, it's time that we attack!
PoniAuthor's Note Song parodied: Happy by Pharrell Williams Poni Hello there, hoomans! Pinkie Pie here! Hee, but you already know that, silly. This song is about taking pride in being a brony/pegasister. Despite some of us being afraid to admit to being one, we all like to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes, saying, "I watch this show because I like it!" Before we begin, I just have one li'l question for ya ... Are you PONI? Hit it! It might seem crazy, what I'm 'bout to say Celestia's light's shining on my face Well, I'm pumped up and ready for a new day Yet again, seems everything's going my way (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do Return of Luna went by quick Discord's reign, it was short lived. Now they're both reformed and doing just fine Changelings and Tirek will say goodbye. Here's why... (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round, I said now raise your hooves high Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round (See, lemme tell ya now) Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round, I said now raise your hooves high Turn me 'round, can't nothing Turn me 'round, I said (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do. (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you (Because I'm Poni) Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.
Please CommentAuthor's Note Song parodied: Be Our Guest. Please Comment Please comment Please comment Put our songs right to the test So unfair to see responses blank Not answered like the rest "Yes, you rock!" "Gosh, you suck!" "Your lyrics are totally schmuck!" Whether praises or complaining At least something we'll be gaining Sing along Do a jig In your bed room, it's no big! And play it in your head from now until Lent So please express your joy Our ego don't destroy So please comment Please comment Please comment Give it ones Or some twos So we'll know how crowds will boo If it really does lack flavour Just say: "Stuff it down the loo!" If you like Say it's nice Threes or fours will suffice Say what parts could use some changing Or which beats need rearranging If you think that it's art And the work is really smart Don't be stingy with the fives,oh, please relent You will get our attention And heartfelt affection Please comment If you're bent To say nothing, now repent! Please comment Please comment Please comment Parodies we're serving No replies are so unnerving When you pour your sweat and blood into a song Spending sleepless nights to find the right words There are times the process is so long Our heads, we are breaking Our creativity aching Just to highlight our satirical skill Most days, just a line or two, we're able Then sweet inspiration! So please give appreciation! Please comment Please comment We believe it's all well meant It won't cost you much No bills and such Won't charge a single cent It'll just take a little time And we'll both feel so sublime One good turn deserves another Your parody we will flatter We could become good friends Converse until the day's end And forge bonds from Jakarta right up to Kent It pays well to be nice Like girls, sugar and spice So please comment (Yes, Comment!) Please comment (Just comment!) Please comment Please comment Be a lady, be a gent When we bare our heart and soul to you It's nice to leave no dent Give your say, say your piece Opinions come out with ease When it's from your mouth you're speaking So what is the diff with typing? It's no chore And no bore And won't leave your fingers sore It's not like coughing up money to pay rent It's just consideration To show credit-ation So comment Please comment! Just comment! Won't you comment?!!
Cake For MeAuthor's Note Song parodied: Take on Me by A-ha Cake For Me I'm eating away I don't know what else to make I'll bake it anyway Vanilla, chocolate Any kind's good For my birthday I'll be getting one for Sunday. Cake for me (Cake for me) Spoon and fork (More cake, please) Another slice Maybe one or two. I want some, I say For dessert Good with some ice cream The candles are blown away Getting seconds, you know that it is okay Going on three I'll save some for another day. Cake for me (Cake for me) Small or large (More cake, please) Two layers With fruit on it, too. Oh, things I eat They would taste better if they had something on the side Out of all things I've had for dessert A piece of cake It's what I'm craving for Right now, today. Cake for me (Cake for me) I want some more (More cake, please) Nothing else Only cake will do (Cake for me) Cake for me (Cake for me) Spoon and fork (More cake, please) I'll have more In a day or two... (Cake for me)
Bake It!Author's Note Song parodied: Beat It by Michael Jackson. Bake It! I tell you, I can’t take this diet no more I bought some extra things, while I was at the store Some flour, and some eggs, so my taste buds won’t be bored So Bake It, Just Bake It With buttercream, and butter greasing the pan Don’t wanna just eat fruit, I can’t do that again I want a big slice, though it widens my can So Bake It, ‘cause I want some cake, bad! Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It With real butter, please don’t fake it Cake down my gullet, making me wide Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right So Bake It, Bake It Just Bake It, Bake It So Bake It, Bake It Just Bake It, Bake It While out at the store, held off best that I could Almost convinced my dessert days were gone for good And then I got a taste, a free sample, got wood So Bake It, Just Bake It You oughta know that this is really unfair I never shoulda taken your dumb “Diet Dare!” Well I know stallions all like big derrieres So Bake It, since I’m already fat Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It Without cake, I just can’t make it Bake a 4-layer one, buttercream iced With a cold glass of milk would be nice Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It With real butter, please don’t fake it Cake down my gullet, making me wide Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right So Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It So what if I look bad naked? Show you how hungry I am for cake Feel kind of empty, my stomach aches So Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It Without cake, I just can’t make it Bake a 4-layer one, buttercream iced With a cold glass of milk would be nice Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It With real butter, please don’t fake it Cake down my gullet, making me wide Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It So what if I look inflated? Show you how hungry I am for cake Feel kind of empty, my stomach aches Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It BAKE IT!!!
Lucid DreamsAuthor's Note Song parodied: Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD. Lucid Dreams I thought dreams were meant to be mad, true But so far, disappointment reigns, dude What happened to magic battles with space goo? "Stuck in school" is lame, you just make me irate, dude, oh Talk to myself a bunch, but then a new thought struck: Normally I move on with the stupid script But now the plot is stuck, which is fine because it sucked Can I pull off a switch please? This can't be, how am I able to Notice that this is a dream state, dude? Cause normally I just roll with the lame feud That this dream has made, you should not be blasé, dude, oh Why is this a sitcom and not an action romp? I could relive this plot by just watchin' Friends With this bullcrap, I'm done and just like that, there's no-one Who's willin' to object? Jeez Takin' control of the blandness inside my brain That's all that I've wanted since, ah All my descriptions of what I dreamed 'bout were lame My friends think I'm bland as spit I've wanted lucid dreams since I heard they were things Late night perusin' blog threads People would dream of things like bustin' huge crime rings While I just have spats with friends, ah, ah, ah I'm lookin' out for some tips, some kinda mental-type trick To make my dreams more lucid in a way that's more consistent Than it's been in the past, once-in-a-blue-moon crap Why can't I have a legit brain? Always looked forward to the madness, mate Since the cartoons showed that that should be the way All I wanted was a sweet lunar escape But all that I got was simply mundane My dreams are mundane Borin' and mundane (sick of bein' nude in the classroom) My dreams are mundane Borin' and mundane (want more in the magical vein, dude) My dreams are mundane (int'restin' is so far away) Borin' and mundane (I want to save the whole world from doom) (but do I get that ? No way) My dreams are mundane as (my brain can think up some amazin' tales) But when I'm asleep, all it can do is fail I still see some holes that assume I fake all my problems, that ain't true "You can't recall all the dreams from your brain, dude" That's where I'm afraid you are wrong, I'll explain true, oh After each borin' one, as soon as I wake up I always write 'em down so I won't forget Just in case there's someone who thinks that I'm makin' up How my brain just detests me So please tell me all about how you Consistently trick all your brains to Make you a god in the realm that you made, dudes Want to replicate you and not just berate you, oh My nights have been so dull, my int'rest in them null I'm almost droppin' off inside my own head After you've got your dumb Inception jokes out, please, bud Is there a chance you'll help me? As a problem, sounds daft, not worth bein' an Both of us were the holes, mate You dismissed my story as crap and lame I'm so desp'rate that I got badly irate Want a good dream for once, don't be a jerk...want to know your tricks To turn your slumber...into fun to ease my narcolepsy.
DistressAuthor's Note Song parodied: Finesse by Bruno Mars. Distress Woo! Bust down door, that I'll have to fix Once these guys are out my face (aha) Here for me, they want a hostage, not gonna Cooperate, cause that's lame (believe me) Give that thug a noogie, that one a right hook (hook) The third gets smacked, I guess he mistook (took) The skinny princess for an easy-peasy grab (ha) Stronger than I seem, have a nice trip through the glass like ayy Kickin' all the flanks like ayy Won't leave me to rot, okay (okay), okay (okay)? Oh yeah, a damsel in distress is not my way, ow Ooh-ooh, awful fact for a princess (a princess) That the evil ones want me in a box (in a box, woo!) Yeah, I've never been that convinced it (convinced it) Is a plight I have to brush right off I'd like to stay in my room (like to stay in my room) And not be wrapped in chains (and not be wrapped in chains) But if you're a big goof (but if you're a big goof)? Okay, silly, I'll play (so) Just a little common sense, oh, got lessons in self-defense Shut your stuff down on sight, that's right Won't be some damsel in distress I don't need that mess I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know Won't be some damsel in distress Here, have my two fists hooves I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know it Won't hold me captive for ransom (ransom's so cliche now) To be honest, though, still think you should try (do please try), yeah-eah-eah Your attempts are so pathetic that I'm floored As your goon's face is, eat tile Breakin' walls with your goons (breakin' walls with your goons) No teeth left in their face (no teeth left in their face) While the kingdom assumes (while the kingdom assumes) That I embody grace (no) Which I do, still got that sense, oh, blame it on my dear parents But I help them sleep tight with fights Won't be some damsel in distress Cause who needs that mess? I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know Won't be some damsel in distress Spare my dad from fits I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know it (woo!) Ev'ry time some crazy dummy dares to climb Up the parapet, stupid creepin' vines (woo!) I just grab my box of rocks and let 'em fly (let 'em fly) If they make it up here? Good try (ow!) Yeah, the villainous goon squads never seem to stop Comin' after me, give it up, ayy Yeah, they think they're gonna stuff me in burlap, but, yeah Jerks don't know that I'll kick butt Yeah, you'd think after six months, they'd be catchin' on (he-ey) Would they admit I beat them up? Nay (cause these are macho dudes) Yeah, I manage to keep up the facade enough, please (woo! Woo! Woo!) Won't be some damsel in distress (distressin' nothin') Kick flanks in my dress I'm no damsel in distress That's bogus, you know (woo!) Won't be some damsel in distress, whack goons daily Guards are bored as spit (oh-ooh-oh) I'm no damsel in distress (yeah, yeah) That's bogus, you know it (jerks will never stop it, bring 'em on) Yeah, I cannot wait to clock 'em upside their block Drive a high heel straight through the crotch, ayy Yeah, I'd love to take a pop, gimme all you got I'll throw fists, you know it (ooh-ooh-ooh) Yeah, don't care what kinda plot you've got goin' on (always nonsense) Cause your goons all fall to my punch, ayy Yeah, the poor saps will be dropped out my window cause They're hopeless, you know it Ow!
Party the Disney WayAuthor's Note Song parodied: Party in the U.S.A by Miley Cyrus. Requested by Scarlet Scribe. Party the Disney Way Taking a trip to Disneyland Such a dream with stories to tell Welcome to the land of princesses Will I get to see Twi Belle? Got to the gate Here I am for the first time Look to my right and I see the admission line. This is so amazing Everything is just like magic. My tummy's turnin' and I'm kinda wanting dole whip. Too much pressure what to do next. That's when we wanted to go on the first ride But the Star Tours line was long The Space Mountain line was long Found the Indy to go on. So I put my ears on Gonna stroll along. Standing in long lines today Got my cotton candy like, yeah Ate a churro like, yeah I got my ears on I’m singing this song. As I stroll down Main Street today Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way. Went from the Park down to DCA And Cars Land is waiting for me now. Like with DJ's beats, I’m rockin' kicks. Everypony look at me now Got to ride on Marvel galaxy It's definitely not Ariel's undersea. Went to get another churro Got pictures with the Marvel heroes. The time is ticking and I'm feelin' kind of anxious Too much pressure what to do next. That's when we passed on the Grizzly ride so we took the bakery tour. then around the world we soar And the frozen show once more. So I put my ears on, gonna stroll along Standing in long lines today. Got English toffee like, yeah Ate kettle corn like, yeah I got my ears on, I’m singing this song As I’m strolling down DCA. Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way.
What A Wonderful SiteAuthor's Note Song parodied: What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. Requested by Bronie312. What A Wonderful Site I see loads of groups, odd forums too I see them bloom, like li'l Scootaloo. And I look back and think What a wonderful site. I see stories of myself, so wild and bright. Like Celestia's peppy day And Luna's calming night. And I look back and think What a wonderful site. Fans of my friend Rainbow, so petty that they'd fight. And denouncing other ponies, and saying that they're trite. I see fans sharing fics, hearing "That's pretty cool". They're really saying "I fear you". I see bronies crying, I watch them moan Why they whine here, well I'll never know. But I look back and think What a wonderful site. Yes, I look back and think What a wonderful site. Oh, yeaaaaaaah... Stay silly, my little ponies!
Sneeze and CoughAuthor's Note Song parodied: Shake it Off by Taylor Swift. Sneeze and Cough Just looked at the date, there's no more time to wait Spring is nearly here, mmm hmm, the worst time of year, mmm hmm Wish I could hibernate, 'cause my allergies await When spring is fully sprung, mmm hmm, nothing can be done, mmm hmm. I know it’s soon when, flowers start their bloomin’ Pollen count is zoomin’ soon will find me and keep me up all night. 'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. My eyes are turning red, just wanna be in bed. Before I start to wheeze, my inhaler, if you please? Chest is feelin’ tight, head is feelin’ light Running at the nose mmm mmm, wipe it all over my clothes mmm mmm. I’ve got this fever, I need a pain reliever Before I take this cleaver, to my nose, maybe even to my whole face. 'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Hey, Hey, Hey Just remember while you’re out there getting exposed to all the germs in this dirty, dirty world That the mare you love has been sick all week. All day long comin’ out of both ends Thinkin’ “Oh Dear Celestia!", feels like I’m going to freeze Tell the ponies in at work: didn’t want to be a jerk Getting mucus everywhere when I’m so diseased, yeah. 'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough. Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
She's Not LaughingAuthor's Note Song parodied: I'm Still Standing by Elton John. Yes, this is Cheese singing, lol. She's Not Laughing Special date tonight plans are made Romantic flowers and a serenade Wrote her a silly cheeky song and right on cue I am singing, ripping off my clothes, revealing Underoos. She wants a picture she can show her friends Hey look at me, sticking out my tongue again Thought it was kinda cute, in an impish way I watch her silly, sweet, seductive smile, as it fades away. And she says, "I'm not laughing at a single thing you did! Think your awful puns are funny? Acting like a little kid!" She's not laughing, while we're stuck in line Guess Piranaconda's not the romance flick she had in mind She's not laughing...nah nah nah! She's not laughing...nah nah nah! Said I'm sorry, things are on the mend Till I play moist for eighty points in Words With Friends Make lyrics up to all her favorite songs And I hid soysauce packs in places, where they do not belong. You know she's not laughing, when her errand trip goes bad Cannot find the door she wanted, now we're at the bar instead She's not laughing but she sure does curse When I smack the cartdoor everytime she backs up in reverse She's not laughing...nah nah nah! She's not laughing...nah nah nah! Now you know that she's not laughing, not even a little bit Made me shop all day at Michael's, put me on her smoothie kick Got her haircut real short just for spite Locked the bedroom door, guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha! I'm not laughing...nah nah nah!
C.I.H. (Cat in the Hat)Author's Note Song parodied: M.I.B. (Men in Black) by Will Smith. C.I.H. (Cat in the Hat) Here comes the C I H, It's the C I H, here comes the CIH. Here comes the CIH, Watch out for his whiskers. The big cat wears a hat remember that, Just in case you ever face to face and make contact, The title that he takes, CIH, means you better watch out or he'll scratch your face. He'll chase you up the stairs, With his long sharp claws and his big striped hat on, Hide in shadows, hear his purr, better watch out if you see his fur. But no he ain't like no other jocks, He don't drink no milk, and he don't use no litter box, Heard someone meow? Watch your back, cuz you never quite know where the CIH is at. Here comes the CIH, Throwing kitty litter. Here comes the CIH, Better feed him dinner. On the coldest and darkest night, On the horizon, You see his eyes shine like headlights. He'll steal your tuna when you leave the room, And when you return prepare to meet your doom, You can tell he's mad when you see him, With his ears back, and his tail up. Pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming, And if not you better start screaming. Don't make a sound if you hear him lickin', Know what I mean? That's your chance to start getting wicked on him, Grab your yarn, your catnip, your tuna fish, And make a trap he just cannot resist. So just don't go near him, if you ever do hear him, Steer clear of him, just fear him. CIH coming to scratch your back, What's that stand for? Cat In Hat. Let me see you just pounce with me, Just pounce with me, just pounce with me come on. Let me see you just purr with me, Just purr with me, just purr with me come on. Let me see you just scratch with me, Just scratch with me, just scratch with me come on, Now use your whiskers. Now meow! Here comes the CIH, Throwing kitty litter. Here comes the CIH, Better give him dinner. Now listen, let me tell you in a hurry, I know he might be real furry, But trust me if he ever comes for you, Believe me, there is something you can do. Just hide in the closet with a baseball bat, And when he comes in give him a great big whack. Now go on with your life, forget the CIH, Cause too much thinking can cause a headache. There went the CIH, Whacked him with a big bat. There went the CIH, Knocked him out of his hat. There went the CIH, Whacked him like a baseball. There went the CIH, Knocked him into the wall.
R-A-I-N-BOWI have a pegasus bestie And Rainbow is her name-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. She's soft like velvet, cool as ice And runs just like the wind-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. One ear goes up, one ear stays down She cocks her head to hear-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. Her tail's like her, so full of swag She's so cool to be near-o R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. She's got some socks with stripes on it And loves for us to try it R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o Boy, she is the cat's meow And you can bet she knows it R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW And Rainbow is her name-o. So. Awesome! Author's Note Song parodied: B-I-N-G-O.
Blocking YouAuthor's Note Song parodied: Rock With You by Michael Jackson. Blocking You Nerds think online Anonymity protects you So they're there hidin' Behind cute anime girls, true I tend to fi-ind These are jerks tryna hide So what amuses me When they're gettin' really abusive Swear at me a ton I simply block those dudes (online) Goodbye "dats so lame" (not fine) I will be blockin' you (online) Can't hurl your racist lines my wa-ay Mmm-mmm-mmm I do abho-or When these flank holes refuse to budge Accounts get hacked Or they just set up brand new ones Claim "just a jo-oke" When they called me "silly-nose" Wanna yell at me Because I've got my own opinions Which ain't theirs and thus (it's not theirs) I'm gonna block those dudes (online) Farewell "hate ur face" (not fine) I will be blockin' you-ou-ou (online) Can't hurl your hurtful lines my wa-ay I never assume that they're long gone, yeah-eah Long as my stuff's online They're gonna troll forever, sucks I might be blockin' you Won't be approvin' you I might be blockin' you Won't be approvin' you You'll all get blocked (online) You foo-oo-oo-ool ne-e-erds (that's right) Blockin' you, all off you, yeah (online) Spread the word: you're la-ame, uh (that's right) I will be blockin' you, yeah-eah (online) If you don't behave (that's right) Others will block you, du-u-u-ude (online) Alone, you will sta-ay (that's right) Just your peeps, load of freaks, woo (online) Big circle of lame (that's right) You will get blo-o-o-o-o-ocked (online) Cause of what you sa-ay (that's right)
12 Days of ChristmasAuthor's Note Song parodied: 12 Days of Christmas. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!!! 💖🎄🎁 12 Days of Christmas On the first day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: A big bowl of Ravioli. On the second day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the third day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Eight clowns a-clownin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the ninth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the tenth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Ten gifts for Gummy Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three chocolate cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Eleven rubber chickens Ten gifts for Gummy Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioli. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me: Twelve candy-apples Eleven rubber chickens Ten gifts for Gummy Nine drums a-drummin' Eight clowns a-clownin' Seven rocks a-rollin' Six streamers streaming FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!! Four pink balloons Three cupcakes Two party cannons And a big bowl of Ravioliiiiiiiiiii.
I Made a Parody Too!Author's Note Song parodied: Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo! from Cinderella. I Made a Parody Too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Let's take a lyrical stew Change all the lyrics and what have I got? I made a parody too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Parodies are really cool. Spoof Freddie's "Rhapsody" often than not I made a parody too! It's silly like Mr. Bean; Electric Boogaloo And from hip-hop to pop, I mock and bop, yes I made a parody too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Let's take a lyrical stew Change all the lyrics and what have I got? I made a parody too! Alakazoo, and then boogaloo Parodies are really cool Change all the lyrics and what have I got? I made a parody too!
The New Year Countdown!Author's Note Song parodied: The Final Countdown by Europe. The New Year Countdown! Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. We're dropping it out, But still it's 2021. And maybe we'll come back To earth, who can tell? I guess there is no one to do. We're getting ground (getting ground). Will things ever be the same again? It's the New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. We're heading for 2021 (2021). And still we stand tall. 'Cause maybe they've seen us. And welcome us all, yeah. With so many better years to go And things to be found (to be found) I'm sure that we'll all get times so. It's the New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. It's the New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. The New Year countdown. It's the New Year countdown. We're getting together. The New Year countdown. We'll all get her so. It's the New Year countdown. It's the New Year countdown. Let's GO!
No Coffee GroundsAuthor's Note Song parodied: Don't Bring Me Down by ELO. No Coffee Grounds Got up this morning knowing I am behind, Get to my coffee, shuffle then to my rhyme. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. You went and got a whiff of fancy blends I'm telling you it's way too much to spend. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! It wakes me u-u-u-u-p. What happened to the brew that used to flow? You put my grinds out in the garbage I know. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. You're always talkin' crazy cafe lites, One of these days you'll wake up in the night. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! Cafe Francais, whoosh! It wakes me u-u-u-u-p. You're looking good, you think you've way too much class. One of these days you'll fall and break your No coffee grounds, No no, no no, no no, no no, no, no,ooh ooh. I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds. It's got me shaking, got me running all day, But got me crawling up to sip every day. No coffee grounds No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.) I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds, grounds, grounds, grounds, grounds. I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore, No coffee grounds.
A Gardener of Constant Marrows(With constant marrows all her days) I am a gardener with constant marrows Courgettes doubled in many ways I grow 'em well and am lucky From slugs they're safe on a bed raised. (From slugs they're safe on a bed raised) For 6 long years I've gone to trouble Sowing them here on earth I've found Four feet of space each they're bound to ramble I have to thin them out in rows. (She has to thin them out in rows) Supplied her real well my old true mother Tho' they left her stomach in great pain Four I gave to Clive and Graham had loads Dont think they want any more again (Don't think they want any more again) Marrows have buried me in a deep valley As fast as I gather I find more lay And you may have to learn to love marrow To stop me turning in my grave. (To stop her turning in her grave) Maybe your friends think I'm no danger My marrows they'll never see no more But there is one promise that is given I'll bring you marrows on God's Golden Shore. (She'll bring you marrows on God's Golden Shore) "Yee-haw!" Author's Note Requested by Heartland Picker. Song parodied: I Am A Man of Constant Sorrows by Soggy Bottom Boys.
QueasyAuthor's Note Song parodied: Easy by The Commodores. Queasy "Almost there, deary." "N-No, I'm finey as winey," Pinkie slurs, struggling to stand up straight as the Cakes help her upstairs. "Honest..." Hit with a terrible cold, Pinkie is carefully escorted up the second floor of Sugarcube Corner by the Cakes, both of whom are wearing homemade hazmat suits. "You're sick, Pinkie," Mrs. Cake states. "You need to rest now." "Nooooooo, I'm fiiiiine..." "You must," Mr. Cake nods, keeping her steady. "The medication should kick in soon. Good thing we bought this Pinkie-proof rope." The two lay Pinkie in her bed, strapping her down with sturdy red ropes. "W-Who manufactures this stuff?" Pinkie snorts. Pony secured, the couple head downstairs. In her flustered and crazed state, Pinkie shuffles around to the sound of a piano. I know I sound woozy, but I just can't stand the pain. Any asprin I could borrow? Celestia knows I've done all I can You see I've coughed, sneezed in my sorrow, yeah, owww. It's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. Why in the world would anypony try to restrain ol' me? I have my rights to shake it. Everypony wants me to sleep 'cuz my mind's in too deep It's too hard for me to fake it, no, owwww. It's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. I feel so hiiiiiiiigh, so hiiigh I wanna be clean so I can do my job alright. I'm gonna be clean Trust me, oh gosh... [Sick guitar solo] "Everything okay up here?" Mrs. Cake asks, popping her head in. "You hear that?" Pinkie giggles to herself. "Whoever's playing that guitar sure can rock, huh? So soothing..." "Oh my, this is a rough cold. Be right back." That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!) I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. Cause I'm queasy Queasy and I feel like hurling (Ahhhhh-choo!) Cause I'm queasy Queasy and I feel like hurling (Ahhhhh-choo!) Cause I'm queeeeeeeasaaaayyy... With that final raspy note, the feverish pony passes out just as the Cakes come in. "Finally, she's asleep," Mrs. Cake sighs. "What were you going to do with that frying pan, honey?" "...safety precautions." Mr. Cake muffles.
Art of the TrollAuthor's Note Song parodied: Art of the Dress by Tabitha St. Germain aka Rarity. Art of the Troll Thread by thread, Whining ‘bout the typo Yahoove’s next. Trolling in the answers page by page Making sure the asker gets angry. And the other people fill with rage Always peeving off the Xbox users. Making sure the furries feel like losers I’m acting like a troll. Chan by chan Peeving off the admins. On a roll Don’t you know not to talk to a troll? Pretend to be a Bieber fan’s desire Make those O-mare-gle users retire. Think I’ll mock that idiot guy’s fails Then laugh at him when he wails. It’s HoofTube’s new troll. Rick Rolling’s easy Everyone clicks the link. Other people never tease me But I bother them. "Do you think this joke’s cheesy?" Something rude Perhaps quite risqué. Now a lie All these people scream “Please die!” Making sure it fits for Yahoo’s board. Don’t think that I’ll ever get bored And although it makes them go berserk. I don’t care if I look like a jerk I’m being a rude troll. Post by post, ban by ban Furs, noobs, fans, and Mormons Thread by thread, on a roll Nerd by nerd, then Rick Roll And that’s the art of the troll! Site by site, bothering the mods now Hurt foals, don’t you know the troll’s all like to fight? Even if your next comeback is perfect You’re gonna be arguing all night Thinking ‘bout the next forum to bother Time to give a flame war a good light I’m spamming all my friends! Hour by hour, one more noob I’m angering the ponies on HoofTube. Chris-Chan is going to lose his mind Whinnipedia has banned me one more time. HorseChan’s now making guys go blind You won’t believe what your email will find. Trolling is easy, everyone’s a dope Going to a brand new web site. Have to flame all the threads, still up around nighttime. All they ever want is some good manners All I really want is a good show. Gotta balance humor with tastelessness Talkin’ ‘bout things that are not my business. And if you never think “Oh, buck it!” I’ll keep going ‘til you kick the bucket! Gotta anger this generation Remember, it’s all in the presentation! Post by post, site by site Nerds, furs, noobs, up all night. Meme by meme, more Rick Roll Chan by chan, won’t get old And that’s the art of the troll! . .
Not Gonna Use the A-WordAuthor's Note Song parodied: We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel. Not Gonna Use the A-Word Tail, hiney, bottom, hammy Butt, booty, rear, fanny Tush, posterior, tushie, keister, gluteus, backside Seat, caboose, rear end Hindquarters, tail-end Haunches, gluteus maximus, glutes, behind Not gonna use the A-word! I won't use that word, too many times I've heard it Not gonna use the A-word! It's for an ignoramus, so you cannot shame us Ham, rump, pollutes the air, Breech, buns, derriere, Can, cheeks, full moon, keester, beam, shaft, bum Seat, nates, hunkers, duff Gosh, writing this song is tough! Fundament, beam, stern, I can't come up with any more! Not gonna use the A-word! We're a little short, but we can make it work, though Not gonna use the A-word! But I quit, these words don't go on, and on, and on, and on! Not gonna use the A-word! No I never will, though it wouldn't kill me Not gonna use the A-word! I will always fight it, because it blights the world! I'm out, y'all, XD...
Never Gonna Click That LinkAuthor's Note I don't even need to tell you... Never Gonna Click That Link We're on the internet Don't know the rules, so I'm a fool. An explanation's what I'm thinking of You'd hear this from any other noob. I just wanna tell you I've been Rick Rolled. gotta make you understand Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. I've heard this darn song for so long My ears are bleeding, but I'm too shy to say it Inside we both know what is going on We know the game and we're gonna lose it. And if you ask me if I saw it Don't tell me you didn't know Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. (Ooooooh, click that link) (Ooooooh, click that link) Never gonna click, never gonna click. (Click that link) Never gonna click, never gonna click. (Click that link) I've heard this darn song for so long My ears are bleeding, but I'm too shy to say it. Inside we both know what is going on We know the game and we're gonna lose it. I just wanna tell you I've been Rick Rolled Gotta make you understand. Never gonna click that link Never gonna hear that song Never gonna go to YouTube and lament. Never gonna see that face Never gonna link replace Never gonna waste my time and comment. You'll click it...
Hostess CakesAuthor's Note Song parodied: Poker Face by Lady Gaga. Hostess Cakes Yum, yum, yum, aah Yum, yum, yum, aah I wanna cram ‘em down my throat ’cuz I love their taste Cream-filled Ding Dongs and Twinkies better than Tasty Kakes (I love ‘em) I want to go to the Hostess Store and fill my cart On sweet snacks I am hooked, from delicious goodies won’t depart Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go They hit the spot, fruit pies and what-not Ho, ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go, They fill me up, and don’t cost a lot Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) Can’t believe they’re gonna shut down the factory Loss of Cupcakes, Donettes, and beloved Twinkies (I hate it) Fighting depression won’t be the same without these snacks And when they’re gone, like Marathon, they’re never comin’ back Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go They hit the spot, fruit pies and what-not Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go, They fill me up, and don’t cost a lot Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) I can tell you that I’ll miss you Nothing like you Creamy fillings I was lovin’ Sugar dyin‘, all those snacks into my face was shovin’ Used to grab ‘em in the aisles Boxes of Twinkies and Chocodiles Yes, them I‘ll miss, them I’ll miss To so many ponies they brought smiles Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) Can't find my, Can't find my No I can't find my Hostess cakes (shelves empty like a robbery) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah) H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes (Yum, yum, yum, aah)
Gummin' 'Round the MountainAuthor's Note Song parodied: Comin' Round the Mountain. Gummin' 'Round the Mountain She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Just a little toothless granny, But her chewin' is uncanny, She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums She cuds better than the horses eatin' oats Munchin' meals with all the courses, never bloats Can't afford a false teeth chopper, But, that ain't a' gonna stop her, She cuds better than the horses eatin' oats She's an old tough apple eater with her gums She's an old tough apple eater with her gums She drives her whole fam'ly all nuts She can even crack black walnuts, Just keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Harder than a stone her old jawbone's become Even stronger than that new Titanium She can gobble up tough turkey Even pulverize hay jerky, She keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Never has no indigestion, needs no Tums Puckered up around the mouth like ole dry plums Even chaws home grown tobacc'er Spats on rats who would attack her, Just keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Once, they held a chewin' contest where she's from Won it, and made other chewers look real dumb She devoured fifty carrot dogs Like a buzz saw sawin' logs And she never even missed one little crumb Goes on gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Always gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Now, you've heard of her adventures, You know she don't need no dentures, She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums Just a' gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums.
Can't Take My Eyes Off FoodAuthor's Note Song parodied: Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Andy Williams. Food is a parody way of life!!! 🍕 Can't Take My Eyes Off Food You're just too tasty to me What can I do? I must eat. It'd be like heaven to munch I just want my special crunch. At long last take-out arrived With this food I'll surely thrive. It's so sweet, it sticks like glue Can't take my eyes off of food. Sorry but I love the taste Must eat a slower pace. I need to get me some eats Bread, eggs, or maybe some beets. Finally the food has returned Geez, I hope my grits ain't burned. It's so sweet it, sticks like glue Can't take my eyes off food. I need some pancakes, syrup's a little light A little thicker, then I might take a bite. I need some cheese too, I need some cream cheese. Those Belgian waffles, they make me smile all day Now that I'm eating, my smile'll surely stay. And let me num you, baby, let me num you. You're just too tasty to me What can I do? I must eat. It'd be like heaven to munch I just want my special crunch. At long last take-out arrived With this food I'll surely thrive. It's so sweet it sticks like glue Can't take my eyes off food. I need some pancakes, syrup's a little light A little thicker, then I might take a bite. I need some cheese too, I need some cream cheese. Those Belgian waffles, they make me smile all day Now that I'm eating, my smile'll surely stay. Oh, yummy baby.
Shrek's HallelujahAuthor's Note Song parodied: Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright. Shrek's Hallelujah I heard there was an ogre green And people mistook him for being mean But he didn't really care for them, did he? He went to live in a swamp alone He made it nice it was his home The forlorn beast was singing hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah...Hallelujah. Then one day a Donkey gray Bumped him while he ran away Then hid so that the knights would never find him He talked until his throat was sore He talked and talked and talked some more And the ogre had a headache hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The ogre found this Donkey a pain Then that night a worse fate came While he was eating dinner by the fire It started with the three blind mice And other creatures sacrificed He couldn't rid them all out hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The creatures from each fairy-tale Told him though 'twas no avail Some guy named Farquaad had them all evicted He told them all get off my land And go right back to where you can He took the talking donkey hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Well this Farquaad was really short His demeanor's such an awful sort He picked a wife thanks to the magic mirror Then sent the ogre on a quest Who found the princess and felt stressed Because she was so needy hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Fiona when the time was right When day had given way to night A spell that she'd been given, came true She was an ogre big and green Her teeth looked ugly her face looked mean While Donkey screamed in terror hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. Next morning when Fiona woke Farquaad came and when he spoke He wanted her so he could just be king The ogre and Donk had an argument Finally they had a settlement And went to crash the wedding hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah. The ogre shouted I object And Farquaad thought he was a wreck Which made the princes take the form of true love Then Farquaad wanted her locked back up The dragon came and ate him up It's another happy ending hallelujah. Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah...Hallelujah Hallelujah.
High-Priced HotelAuthor's Note Song parodied: Highway to Hell by AC/DC. High-Priced Hotel Traveling cozy Isn’t free Bought a reservation for a master suite I’m really tired Let me sleep What the hay? This isn’t cheap!!! Must be the season? Convention time? Shoulda checked-out the specials Discounted rates, Online… Now I‘m stuck with an expensive bill, HEY!!! I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! More service charges Maxed my credit limit Even tipping’s got me down Carry my luggage? Just forget it Hit the bar, had several rounds Hey, Hilton! Change my room This bill I don’t understand Hey, Hilton! I gotta check out I'm on my way to Disney Land-ZOOM!!! (Gotta get the buck outta here) I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! Buck, nothing’s cheap Pay, pay, pay! I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! In a high-priced! Hotel High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! I'm in a high-priced hotel! High-priced hotel! Bill’s not goin' down, have to paa-ay-aay, whoa!!! In a high-priced hotel. Get me outta here!
