Silly Songs With Pinkie

by TheKMExperience

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life
Length: 9810

Hit it, Pinks!

Welcome to Silly Songs with Pinkie Pie, the part of this site where Pinkie comes out and sings a silly song.

Short Pinkie-fied renditions of memorable, upbeat tunes for the whole family fansite!

Song requests could be made (preferably) through PM's.

NO ANIME SONGS. ONLY SONGS EVERYONE IS AT LEAST FAMILIAR WITH.

EDIT: everyone gets ONE request. Stop filling up the comments saying "What about this? What about that?" over and over. Please and thankies.

Let's make some music, ponies!!! :pinkiehappy:

Published 2020-10-12 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-14 15:22:21 UTC

Quarantine All-Star

Author's Note

Do I even need to say what this is from?
:rainbowlaugh:

Quarantine All-Star

Some PONY once told me a pandemic was coming
I didn’t buy a word that they said.
They shut down the school of friendship, moved the classes all online
As coronavirus started to spread.

Well, the case count’s climbing and it won’t stop climbing
Campus shut down, this is terrible timing.
In-pony instruction can’t resume
Goodbye to the classroom, hello Zoom.
Nothing to do, nothing to see
So for now life’s taking a back seat.
This virus is wearin’ a crown
It’s ruling us into lockdown.

Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home.
Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone.
Many months into quarantine
Had enough of this COVID 19.

Now it’s class time, and your internet’s dropping
If you’re stressed about class, try grocery shopping.
Cuz they’re always out of toilet paper
And flour cuz now everyone thinks they’re a baker.
Can tell my hair it’s gonna need a trim
The weather’s gettin’ warm, oh but don’t you dare swim.
Don’t feel inspired, to do chores
Honestly I’m lucky to be feeling this bored.

Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home
Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone.
Many months into quarantine
Had enough of this COVID 19

Hey now, stop the case growth, help the spread slow, stay home
Hey now, turn on Maneflix, streaming your favorite show.
Hope they’re close to a vaccine
Had enough of this….

Some PONY once asked how we’d run an online class
How would we get the students all to engage?
Took some prep, and some missteps
But to all my students I’m in debt
You all adapted so well to change.
Well, the days keep comin’ and they don’t stop comin’
Keep working and baking and reading and running.
A couple more days until finals come
You can’t get smart if your lungs get bum.
Maybe more time for studying
Social distancing ain’t the worst thing (thanks mom).
I hope this is over by fall (too late)
But I just ran out of Lysol.

Hey now, put your mask on, wash your hooves more, stay home
Hey now, turn your Zoom on, you won’t feel so alone.
Hope they’re close to a vaccine
But till then let’s all keep our hands clean.
Two months into quarantine
Had enough of this COVID 19.

Stop the Trolls!

Author's Note

Song parodied:
Stop the Bats by The Mane 6.

Stop the Trolls!

Those Internet trolls will give you a fright
Posting rude comments both day and night.
They rest for a minute, they're really bad
And they're hatin' on you just to make you mad

They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothing
'cept bringing about all fandoms' destruction.

Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this
And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss.
Those trolls have mamas and papas too
They care for their friends just like we ponies do.

Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind
These creatures have a one-track mind.
The Internet's not their place to be
But do the consequences they ever see?
No...they don't! And that is just a fact
These trolls, they simply don't know how to act.

That's where I have to disagree
They're just like you, and just like me
Sharing views both far and wide.

You see one comin', you'd better run and hide!
They're big and ugly and mean as sin
Will ya look at the state the comments are in?

They help your content, it'll get known faster.

They've turned my life...to a total disaster!

Well, I for one don't have a doubt
These vermin must be stamped right out.

I second that, they've got to go
These trolls, they've got to hit the road!

It comes down to just one simple fact
They've crossed the line, it's time to fight them back!

Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls!
Make them go and not come back!
Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls!
Make them go and not come back!
Stop the trolls! Stop the trolls!
Make them go and not come back!

Yes...it comes down to just one simple fact
They've crossed the line, it's time that we attack!

Poni

Author's Note

Song parodied:

Happy by Pharrell Williams

Poni

Hello there, hoomans! Pinkie Pie here!

Hee, but you already know that, silly.

This song is about taking pride in being a brony/pegasister. Despite some of us being afraid to admit to being one, we all like to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes, saying, "I watch this show because I like it!"

Before we begin, I just have one li'l question for ya ...

Are you PONI? :pinkiesmile:

Hit it!

It might seem crazy, what I'm 'bout to say
Celestia's light's shining on my face
Well, I'm pumped up and ready for a new day
Yet again, seems everything's going my way

(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if feel much lighter now on hooves
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Return of Luna went by quick
Discord's reign, it was short lived.
Now they're both reformed and doing just fine
Changelings and Tirek will say goodbye.
Here's why...

(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Turn me 'round, can't nothing
Turn me 'round, I said now raise your hooves high
Turn me 'round, can't nothing
Turn me 'round
(See, lemme tell ya now)
Turn me 'round, can't nothing
Turn me 'round, I said now raise your hooves high
Turn me 'round, can't nothing
Turn me 'round, I said

(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.

(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like a sky without the blues
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel much lighter now on hooves
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you know what Harmony means to you
(Because I'm Poni)
Trot along if you feel like that's what you wanna do.

Please Comment

Author's Note

Song parodied: Be Our Guest.

Please Comment

Please comment
Please comment
Put our songs right to the test
So unfair to see responses blank
Not answered like the rest
"Yes, you rock!"
"Gosh, you suck!"
"Your lyrics are totally schmuck!"
Whether praises or complaining
At least something we'll be gaining
Sing along
Do a jig
In your bed room, it's no big!
And play it in your head from now until Lent
So please express your joy
Our ego don't destroy
So please comment
Please comment
Please comment

Give it ones
Or some twos
So we'll know how crowds will boo
If it really does lack flavour
Just say: "Stuff it down the loo!"
If you like
Say it's nice
Threes or fours will suffice
Say what parts could use some changing
Or which beats need rearranging
If you think that it's art
And the work is really smart
Don't be stingy with the fives,oh, please relent
You will get our attention
And heartfelt affection
Please comment
If you're bent
To say nothing, now repent!
Please comment
Please comment
Please comment

Parodies we're serving
No replies are so unnerving
When you pour your sweat and blood into a song
Spending sleepless nights to find the right words
There are times the process is so long
Our heads, we are breaking
Our creativity aching
Just to highlight our satirical skill
Most days, just a line or two, we're able
Then sweet inspiration!
So please give appreciation!

Please comment
Please comment
We believe it's all well meant
It won't cost you much
No bills and such
Won't charge a single cent
It'll just take a little time
And we'll both feel so sublime
One good turn deserves another
Your parody we will flatter
We could become good friends
Converse until the day's end
And forge bonds from Jakarta right up to Kent
It pays well to be nice
Like girls, sugar and spice
So please comment (Yes, Comment!)
Please comment (Just comment!)

Please comment
Please comment
Be a lady, be a gent
When we bare our heart and soul to you
It's nice to leave no dent
Give your say, say your piece
Opinions come out with ease
When it's from your mouth you're speaking
So what is the diff with typing?
It's no chore
And no bore
And won't leave your fingers sore
It's not like coughing up money to pay rent
It's just consideration
To show credit-ation
So comment
Please comment!
Just comment!
Won't you comment?!!
:flutterrage:

Cake For Me

Author's Note

Song parodied: Take on Me by A-ha

Cake For Me

I'm eating away
I don't know what else to make
I'll bake it anyway
Vanilla, chocolate
Any kind's good
For my birthday
I'll be getting one for Sunday.
:pinkiesmile:

Cake for me (Cake for me)
Spoon and fork (More cake, please)
Another slice
Maybe one or two.

I want some, I say
For dessert
Good with some ice cream
The candles are blown away
Getting seconds, you know that it is okay
Going on three
I'll save some for another day.

Cake for me (Cake for me)
Small or large (More cake, please)
Two layers
With fruit on it, too.

Oh, things I eat
They would taste better if they had something on the side
Out of all things I've had for dessert
A piece of cake
It's what I'm craving for
Right now, today.

Cake for me (Cake for me)
I want some more (More cake, please)
Nothing else
Only cake will do (Cake for me)

Cake for me (Cake for me)
Spoon and fork (More cake, please)
I'll have more
In a day or two... (Cake for me)
:pinkiesick:

Bake It!

Author's Note

Song parodied: Beat It by Michael Jackson.

Bake It!

I tell you, I can’t take this diet no more
I bought some extra things, while I was at the store
Some flour, and some eggs, so my taste buds won’t be bored
So Bake It, Just Bake It

With buttercream, and butter greasing the pan
Don’t wanna just eat fruit, I can’t do that again
I want a big slice, though it widens my can
So Bake It, ‘cause I want some cake, bad!

Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
With real butter, please don’t fake it
Cake down my gullet, making me wide
Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right
So Bake It, Bake It
Just Bake It, Bake It
So Bake It, Bake It
Just Bake It, Bake It

While out at the store, held off best that I could
Almost convinced my dessert days were gone for good
And then I got a taste, a free sample, got wood
So Bake It, Just Bake It

You oughta know that this is really unfair
I never shoulda taken your dumb “Diet Dare!”
Well I know stallions all like big derrieres
So Bake It, since I’m already fat

Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
Without cake, I just can’t make it
Bake a 4-layer one, buttercream iced
With a cold glass of milk would be nice

Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
With real butter, please don’t fake it
Cake down my gullet, making me wide
Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right
So Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It,
Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It

Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
So what if I look bad naked?
Show you how hungry I am for cake
Feel kind of empty, my stomach aches

So Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
Without cake, I just can’t make it
Bake a 4-layer one, buttercream iced
With a cold glass of milk would be nice

Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
With real butter, please don’t fake it
Cake down my gullet, making me wide
Tell me it’s wrong, but it feels so right

Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It
So what if I look inflated?
Show you how hungry I am for cake
Feel kind of empty, my stomach aches
Just Bake It, Bake It, Bake It, Bake It

BAKE IT!!!
:yay:

Lucid Dreams

Author's Note

Song parodied: Lucid Dreams by Juice WRLD.

Lucid Dreams

I thought dreams were meant to be mad, true
But so far, disappointment reigns, dude
What happened to magic battles with space goo?
"Stuck in school" is lame, you just make me irate, dude, oh

Talk to myself a bunch, but then a new thought struck:
Normally I move on with the stupid script
But now the plot is stuck, which is fine because it sucked
Can I pull off a switch please?

This can't be, how am I able to
Notice that this is a dream state, dude?
Cause normally I just roll with the lame feud
That this dream has made, you should not be blasé, dude, oh

Why is this a sitcom and not an action romp?
I could relive this plot by just watchin' Friends
With this bullcrap, I'm done and just like that, there's no-one
Who's willin' to object? Jeez

Takin' control of the blandness inside my brain
That's all that I've wanted since, ah
All my descriptions of what I dreamed 'bout were lame
My friends think I'm bland as spit

I've wanted lucid dreams since I heard they were things
Late night perusin' blog threads
People would dream of things like bustin' huge crime rings
While I just have spats with friends, ah, ah, ah
I'm lookin' out for some tips, some kinda mental-type trick
To make my dreams more lucid in a way that's more consistent

Than it's been in the past, once-in-a-blue-moon crap
Why can't I have a legit brain?
Always looked forward to the madness, mate
Since the cartoons showed that that should be the way
All I wanted was a sweet lunar escape
But all that I got was simply mundane

My dreams are mundane
Borin' and mundane (sick of bein' nude in the classroom)
My dreams are mundane
Borin' and mundane (want more in the magical vein, dude)
My dreams are mundane (int'restin' is so far away)
Borin' and mundane (I want to save the whole world from doom) (but do I get that :yay:? No way)
My dreams are mundane as :yay: (my brain can think up some amazin' tales)
But when I'm asleep, all it can do is fail

I still see some :yay:holes that assume
I fake all my problems, that ain't true
"You can't recall all the dreams from your brain, dude"
That's where I'm afraid you are wrong, I'll explain true, oh

After each borin' one, as soon as I wake up
I always write 'em down so I won't forget
Just in case there's someone who thinks that I'm makin' up
How my brain just detests me

So please tell me all about how you
Consistently trick all your brains to
Make you a god in the realm that you made, dudes
Want to replicate you and not just berate you, oh

My nights have been so dull, my int'rest in them null
I'm almost droppin' off inside my own head
After you've got your dumb Inception jokes out, please, bud
Is there a chance you'll help me?

As a problem, sounds daft, not worth bein' an :yay:
Both of us were the :yay:holes, mate
You dismissed my story as crap and lame
I'm so desp'rate that I got badly irate
Want a good dream for once, don't be a jerk...want to know your tricks
To turn your slumber...into fun to ease my narcolepsy.

Distress

Author's Note

Song parodied: Finesse by Bruno Mars.

Distress

Woo!
Bust down door, that I'll have to fix
Once these guys are out my face (aha)
Here for me, they want a hostage, not gonna
Cooperate, cause that's lame (believe me)
Give that thug a noogie, that one a right hook (hook)
The third gets smacked, I guess he mistook (took)
The skinny princess for an easy-peasy grab (ha)
Stronger than I seem, have a nice trip through the glass like ayy
Kickin' all the flanks like ayy
Won't leave me to rot, okay (okay), okay (okay)?
Oh yeah, a damsel in distress is not my way, ow

Ooh-ooh, awful fact for a princess (a princess)
That the evil ones want me in a box (in a box, woo!)
Yeah, I've never been that convinced it (convinced it)
Is a plight I have to brush right off
I'd like to stay in my room (like to stay in my room)
And not be wrapped in chains (and not be wrapped in chains)

But if you're a big goof (but if you're a big goof)?
Okay, silly, I'll play (so)
Just a little common sense, oh, got lessons in self-defense
Shut your stuff down on sight, that's right

Won't be some damsel in distress
I don't need that mess
I'm no damsel in distress
That's bogus, you know
Won't be some damsel in distress
Here, have my two fists hooves
I'm no damsel in distress
That's bogus, you know it

Won't hold me captive for ransom (ransom's so cliche now)
To be honest, though, still think you should try (do please try), yeah-eah-eah
Your attempts are so pathetic that I'm floored
As your goon's face is, eat tile
Breakin' walls with your goons (breakin' walls with your goons)
No teeth left in their face (no teeth left in their face)
While the kingdom assumes (while the kingdom assumes)
That I embody grace (no)
Which I do, still got that sense, oh, blame it on my dear parents
But I help them sleep tight with fights

Won't be some damsel in distress
Cause who needs that mess?
I'm no damsel in distress
That's bogus, you know
Won't be some damsel in distress
Spare my dad from fits
I'm no damsel in distress
That's bogus, you know it (woo!)

Ev'ry time some crazy dummy dares to climb
Up the parapet, stupid creepin' vines (woo!)
I just grab my box of rocks and let 'em fly (let 'em fly)
If they make it up here? Good try (ow!)
Yeah, the villainous goon squads never seem to stop
Comin' after me, give it up, ayy
Yeah, they think they're gonna stuff me in burlap, but, yeah
Jerks don't know that I'll kick butt
Yeah, you'd think after six months, they'd be catchin' on (he-ey)
Would they admit I beat them up? Nay (cause these are macho dudes)

Yeah, I manage to keep up the facade enough, please (woo! Woo! Woo!)

Won't be some damsel in distress (distressin' nothin')
Kick flanks in my dress
I'm no damsel in distress
That's bogus, you know (woo!)
Won't be some damsel in distress, whack goons daily
Guards are bored as spit (oh-ooh-oh)
I'm no damsel in distress (yeah, yeah)
That's bogus, you know it (jerks will never stop it, bring 'em on)

Yeah, I cannot wait to clock 'em upside their block
Drive a high heel straight through the crotch, ayy
Yeah, I'd love to take a pop, gimme all you got
I'll throw fists, you know it (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Yeah, don't care what kinda plot you've got goin' on (always nonsense)
Cause your goons all fall to my punch, ayy
Yeah, the poor saps will be dropped out my window cause
They're hopeless, you know it

Ow!
:twilightsmile:

Party the Disney Way

Author's Note

Song parodied: Party in the U.S.A by Miley Cyrus.

Requested by Scarlet Scribe.

Party the Disney Way

Taking a trip to Disneyland
Such a dream with stories to tell
Welcome to the land of princesses
Will I get to see Twi Belle?

Got to the gate
Here I am for the first time
Look to my right and I see the admission line.
This is so amazing
Everything is just like magic.

My tummy's turnin' and I'm kinda wanting dole whip.
Too much pressure what to do next.
That's when we wanted to go on the first ride
But the Star Tours line was long
The Space Mountain line was long
Found the Indy to go on.

So I put my ears on
Gonna stroll along.
Standing in long lines today
Got my cotton candy like, yeah
Ate a churro like, yeah
I got my ears on
I’m singing this song.
As I stroll down Main Street today
Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way
Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way.

Went from the Park down to DCA
And Cars Land is waiting for me now.
Like with DJ's beats, I’m rockin' kicks.
Everypony look at me now
Got to ride on Marvel galaxy
It's definitely not Ariel's undersea.
Went to get another churro
Got pictures with the Marvel heroes.

The time is ticking and I'm feelin' kind of anxious
Too much pressure what to do next.
That's when we passed on the Grizzly ride
so we took the bakery tour.
then around the world we soar
And the frozen show once more.

So I put my ears on, gonna stroll along
Standing in long lines today.
Got English toffee like, yeah
Ate kettle corn like, yeah
I got my ears on, I’m singing this song
As I’m strolling down DCA.
Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way
Yeah, I’m gonna party the Disney Way.
:pinkiehappy:

What A Wonderful Site

Author's Note

Song parodied: What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.

Requested by Bronie312.

What A Wonderful Site

I see loads of groups, odd forums too
I see them bloom, like li'l Scootaloo.
And I look back and think
What a wonderful site.

I see stories of myself, so wild and bright.
Like Celestia's peppy day
And Luna's calming night.
And I look back and think
What a wonderful site.

Fans of my friend Rainbow, so petty that they'd fight.
And denouncing other ponies, and saying that they're trite.
I see fans sharing fics, hearing "That's pretty cool".
They're really saying

"I fear you".
:rainbowderp:

I see bronies crying, I watch them moan
Why they whine here, well I'll never know.
But I look back and think
What a wonderful site.

Yes, I look back and think
What a wonderful site.

Oh, yeaaaaaaah...
:pinkiesmile:

Stay silly, my little ponies!

Sneeze and Cough

Author's Note

Song parodied: Shake it Off by Taylor Swift.

Sneeze and Cough

Just looked at the date, there's no more time to wait
Spring is nearly here, mmm hmm, the worst time of year, mmm hmm
Wish I could hibernate, 'cause my allergies await
When spring is fully sprung, mmm hmm, nothing can be done, mmm hmm.

I know it’s soon when, flowers start their bloomin’
Pollen count is zoomin’ soon will find me and keep me up all night.

'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees
Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze
And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze
Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough
Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees
To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties
And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze
Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.

My eyes are turning red, just wanna be in bed.
Before I start to wheeze, my inhaler, if you please?
Chest is feelin’ tight, head is feelin’ light
Running at the nose mmm mmm, wipe it all over my clothes mmm mmm.

I’ve got this fever, I need a pain reliever
Before I take this cleaver, to my nose, maybe even to my whole face.

'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees
Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze
And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze
Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough
Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees
To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties
And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze
Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.

Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.

Hey, Hey, Hey
Just remember while you’re out there getting exposed to all the germs in this dirty, dirty world
That the mare you love has been sick all week.

All day long comin’ out of both ends
Thinkin’ “Oh Dear Celestia!", feels like I’m going to freeze
Tell the ponies in at work: didn’t want to be a jerk
Getting mucus everywhere when I’m so diseased, yeah.

'Cause the pollen from the trees, trees, trees, trees, trees
Will be blowin’ in the breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze, breeze
And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze
Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough
Carried by the bees, bees, bees, bees, bees
To my sinus cavities, -ties , -ties , -ties , -ties
And it’s gonna make me sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze
Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.

Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
Ah, Achoo! Sneeze and cough, Sneeze and cough.
:pinkiesick:

She's Not Laughing

Author's Note

Song parodied: I'm Still Standing by Elton John.

Yes, this is Cheese singing, lol.

She's Not Laughing

Special date tonight plans are made
Romantic flowers and a serenade
Wrote her a silly cheeky song and right on cue
I am singing, ripping off my clothes, revealing Underoos.

She wants a picture she can show her friends
Hey look at me, sticking out my tongue again
Thought it was kinda cute, in an impish way
I watch her silly, sweet, seductive smile, as it fades away.

And she says, "I'm not laughing at a single thing you did!
Think your awful puns are funny? Acting like a little kid!"
She's not laughing, while we're stuck in line
Guess Piranaconda's not the romance flick she had in mind
She's not laughing...nah nah nah!
She's not laughing...nah nah nah!

Said I'm sorry, things are on the mend
Till I play moist for eighty points in Words With Friends
Make lyrics up to all her favorite songs
And I hid soysauce packs in places, where they do not belong.

You know she's not laughing, when her errand trip goes bad
Cannot find the door she wanted, now we're at the bar instead
She's not laughing but she sure does curse
When I smack the cartdoor everytime she backs up in reverse
She's not laughing...nah nah nah!
She's not laughing...nah nah nah!

Now you know that she's not laughing, not even a little bit
Made me shop all day at Michael's, put me on her smoothie kick
Got her haircut real short just for spite
Locked the bedroom door, guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight
Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha!
Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha!
Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha!
Now she’s laughing...ha ha ha!
I'm not laughing...nah nah nah!

C.I.H. (Cat in the Hat)

Author's Note

Song parodied: M.I.B. (Men in Black) by Will Smith.

C.I.H. (Cat in the Hat)

Here comes the C I H,
It's the C I H, here comes the CIH.
Here comes the CIH,
Watch out for his whiskers.

The big cat wears a hat remember that,
Just in case you ever face to face and make contact,
The title that he takes, CIH, means you better watch out or he'll scratch your face.
He'll chase you up the stairs,
With his long sharp claws and his big striped hat on,
Hide in shadows, hear his purr, better watch out if you see his fur.
But no he ain't like no other jocks,
He don't drink no milk, and he don't use no litter box,
Heard someone meow? Watch your back, cuz you never quite know where the CIH is at.

Here comes the CIH,
Throwing kitty litter.
Here comes the CIH,
Better feed him dinner.

On the coldest and darkest night,
On the horizon,
You see his eyes shine like headlights.
He'll steal your tuna when you leave the room,
And when you return prepare to meet your doom,
You can tell he's mad when you see him,
With his ears back, and his tail up.
Pinch yourself to see if you're dreaming,
And if not you better start screaming.
Don't make a sound if you hear him lickin',
Know what I mean? That's your chance to start getting wicked on him,
Grab your yarn, your catnip, your tuna fish,
And make a trap he just cannot resist.
So just don't go near him, if you ever do hear him,
Steer clear of him, just fear him.
CIH coming to scratch your back,
What's that stand for?
Cat In Hat.

Let me see you just pounce with me,
Just pounce with me, just pounce with me come on.
Let me see you just purr with me,
Just purr with me, just purr with me come on.
Let me see you just scratch with me,
Just scratch with me, just scratch with me come on,
Now use your whiskers.
Now meow!

Here comes the CIH,
Throwing kitty litter.
Here comes the CIH,
Better give him dinner.

Now listen, let me tell you in a hurry,
I know he might be real furry,
But trust me if he ever comes for you,
Believe me, there is something you can do.
Just hide in the closet with a baseball bat,
And when he comes in give him a great big whack.
Now go on with your life, forget the CIH,
Cause too much thinking can cause a headache.

There went the CIH,
Whacked him with a big bat.
There went the CIH,
Knocked him out of his hat.
There went the CIH,
Whacked him like a baseball.
There went the CIH,
Knocked him into the wall.

R-A-I-N-BOW

I have a pegasus bestie
And Rainbow is her name-o
R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW
And Rainbow is her name-o.

She's soft like velvet, cool as ice
And runs just like the wind-o
R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW
And Rainbow is her name-o.

One ear goes up, one ear stays down
She cocks her head to hear-o
R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW
And Rainbow is her name-o.

Her tail's like her, so full of swag
She's so cool to be near-o
R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW
And Rainbow is her name-o.

She's got some socks with stripes on it
And loves for us to try it
R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW
And Rainbow is her name-o

Boy, she is the cat's meow
And you can bet she knows it
R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW, R-A-I-N-BOW
And Rainbow is her name-o.

So. Awesome!
:rainbowwild:

Author's Note

Song parodied: B-I-N-G-O.

Blocking You

Author's Note

Song parodied: Rock With You by Michael Jackson.

Blocking You

Nerds think online
Anonymity protects you
So they're there hidin'
Behind cute anime girls, true
I tend to fi-ind
These are jerks tryna hide
So what amuses me
When they're gettin' really abusive
Swear at me a ton

I simply block those dudes (online)
Goodbye "dats so lame" (not fine)
I will be blockin' you (online)
Can't hurl your racist lines my wa-ay
Mmm-mmm-mmm

I do abho-or
When these flank holes refuse to budge
Accounts get hacked
Or they just set up brand new ones
Claim "just a jo-oke"
When they called me "silly-nose"
Wanna yell at me
Because I've got my own opinions
Which ain't theirs and thus (it's not theirs)

I'm gonna block those dudes (online)
Farewell "hate ur face" (not fine)
I will be blockin' you-ou-ou (online)
Can't hurl your hurtful lines my wa-ay

I never assume that they're long gone, yeah-eah
Long as my stuff's online
They're gonna troll forever, sucks

I might be blockin' you
Won't be approvin' you

I might be blockin' you
Won't be approvin' you

You'll all get blocked (online)
You foo-oo-oo-ool ne-e-erds (that's right)
Blockin' you, all off you, yeah (online)
Spread the word: you're la-ame, uh (that's right)
I will be blockin' you, yeah-eah (online)
If you don't behave (that's right)
Others will block you, du-u-u-ude (online)
Alone, you will sta-ay (that's right)
Just your peeps, load of freaks, woo (online)
Big circle of lame (that's right)
You will get blo-o-o-o-o-ocked (online)
Cause of what you sa-ay (that's right)

12 Days of Christmas

Author's Note

Song parodied: 12 Days of Christmas.

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!!! 💖🎄🎁

12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
A big bowl of Ravioli.

On the second day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the third day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Six streamers streaming
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Seven rocks a-rollin'
Six streamers streaming
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Eight clowns a-clownin'
Six streamers streaming
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Nine drums a-drummin'
Eight clowns a-clownin'
Seven rocks a-rollin'
Six streamers streaming
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Ten gifts for Gummy
Nine drums a-drummin'
Eight clowns a-clownin'
Seven rocks a-rollin'
Six streamers streaming
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three chocolate cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Eleven rubber chickens
Ten gifts for Gummy
Nine drums a-drummin'
Eight clowns a-clownin'
Seven rocks a-rollin'
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioli.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true friends gave to me:
Twelve candy-apples
Eleven rubber chickens
Ten gifts for Gummy
Nine drums a-drummin'
Eight clowns a-clownin'
Seven rocks a-rollin'
Six streamers streaming
FIVE CHERRYCHANGAS!!!
Four pink balloons
Three cupcakes
Two party cannons
And a big bowl of Ravioliiiiiiiiiii.
:pinkiesmile:

I Made a Parody Too!

Author's Note

Song parodied: Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo! from Cinderella.

I Made a Parody Too!

Alakazoo, and then boogaloo
Let's take a lyrical stew
Change all the lyrics and what have I got?
I made a parody too!

Alakazoo, and then boogaloo
Parodies are really cool.
Spoof Freddie's "Rhapsody" often than not
I made a parody too!

It's silly like Mr. Bean; Electric Boogaloo
And from hip-hop to pop, I mock and bop, yes
I made a parody too!

Alakazoo, and then boogaloo
Let's take a lyrical stew
Change all the lyrics and what have I got?
I made a parody too!

Alakazoo, and then boogaloo
Parodies are really cool
Change all the lyrics and what have I got?
I made a parody too!

The New Year Countdown!

Author's Note

Song parodied: The Final Countdown by Europe.

The New Year Countdown!

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

We're dropping it out,
But still it's 2021.
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?

I guess there is no one to do.
We're getting ground (getting ground).
Will things ever be the same again?

It's the New Year countdown.
The New Year countdown.

We're heading for 2021 (2021).
And still we stand tall.
'Cause maybe they've seen us.
And welcome us all, yeah.

With so many better years to go
And things to be found (to be found)
I'm sure that we'll all get times so.

It's the New Year countdown.
The New Year countdown.
The New Year countdown.

The New Year countdown.

It's the New Year countdown.
The New Year countdown.
The New Year countdown.

It's the New Year countdown.
We're getting together.
The New Year countdown.
We'll all get her so.
It's the New Year countdown.

It's the New Year countdown.

Let's GO!
:rainbowdetermined2:

No Coffee Grounds

Author's Note

Song parodied: Don't Bring Me Down by ELO.

No Coffee Grounds

Got up this morning knowing I am behind,
Get to my coffee, shuffle then to my rhyme.

No coffee grounds
No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.)
I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds.

You went and got a whiff of fancy blends
I'm telling you it's way too much to spend.

No coffee grounds
No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.)
I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds.

Cafe Francais, whoosh!
Cafe Francais, whoosh!
Cafe Francais, whoosh!
It wakes me u-u-u-u-p.

What happened to the brew that used to flow?
You put my grinds out in the garbage I know.

No coffee grounds
No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.)
I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds.

You're always talkin' crazy cafe lites,
One of these days you'll wake up in the night.

No coffee grounds
No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.)
I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds.

Cafe Francais, whoosh!
Cafe Francais, whoosh!
Cafe Francais, whoosh!
It wakes me u-u-u-u-p.

You're looking good, you think you've way too much class.
One of these days you'll fall and break your :yay:

No coffee grounds,
No no, no no, no no, no no, no, no,ooh ooh.
I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds.

It's got me shaking, got me running all day,
But got me crawling up to sip every day.

No coffee grounds
No, no, no, no, no! (Ooh ooh.)
I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds, grounds, grounds, grounds, grounds.

I'll smell brew once more afore I'd bet it was gore,
No coffee grounds.

A Gardener of Constant Marrows

(With constant marrows all her days)

I am a gardener with constant marrows
Courgettes doubled in many ways
I grow 'em well and am lucky
From slugs they're safe on a bed raised.

(From slugs they're safe on a bed raised)

For 6 long years I've gone to trouble
Sowing them here on earth I've found
Four feet of space each they're bound to ramble
I have to thin them out in rows.

(She has to thin them out in rows)

Supplied her real well my old true mother
Tho' they left her stomach in great pain
Four I gave to Clive and Graham had loads
Dont think they want any more again

(Don't think they want any more again)

Marrows have buried me in a deep valley
As fast as I gather I find more lay
And you may have to learn to love marrow
To stop me turning in my grave.

(To stop her turning in her grave)

Maybe your friends think I'm no danger
My marrows they'll never see no more
But there is one promise that is given
I'll bring you marrows on God's Golden Shore.

(She'll bring you marrows on God's Golden Shore)
:ajsmug:
"Yee-haw!"

Author's Note

Requested by Heartland Picker.

Song parodied: I Am A Man of Constant Sorrows by Soggy Bottom Boys.

Queasy

Author's Note

Song parodied:
Easy by The Commodores.

Queasy

"Almost there, deary."

"N-No, I'm finey as winey," Pinkie slurs, struggling to stand up straight as the Cakes help her upstairs. "Honest..."

Hit with a terrible cold, Pinkie is carefully escorted up the second floor of Sugarcube Corner by the Cakes, both of whom are wearing homemade hazmat suits.

"You're sick, Pinkie," Mrs. Cake states. "You need to rest now."

"Nooooooo, I'm fiiiiine..."

"You must," Mr. Cake nods, keeping her steady. "The medication should kick in soon. Good thing we bought this Pinkie-proof rope."

The two lay Pinkie in her bed, strapping her down with sturdy red ropes.

"W-Who manufactures this stuff?" Pinkie snorts.

Pony secured, the couple head downstairs.

In her flustered and crazed state, Pinkie shuffles around to the sound of a piano.

I know I sound woozy, but I just can't stand the pain.
Any asprin I could borrow?
Celestia knows I've done all I can
You see I've coughed, sneezed in my sorrow, yeah, owww.

It's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhhhh-choo!)
I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
I'm queasy and I feel like hurling.

Why in the world would anypony try to restrain ol' me?
I have my rights to shake it.
Everypony wants me to sleep 'cuz my mind's in too deep
It's too hard for me to fake it, no, owwww.

It's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhhhh-choo!)
I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
I'm queasy and I feel like hurling.

I feel so hiiiiiiiigh, so hiiigh
I wanna be clean so I can do my job alright.
I'm gonna be clean
Trust me, oh gosh...

[Sick guitar solo]

"Everything okay up here?" Mrs. Cake asks, popping her head in.

"You hear that?" Pinkie giggles to herself. "Whoever's playing that guitar sure can rock, huh? So soothing..."

"Oh my, this is a rough cold. Be right back."

That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
I'm queasy and I feel like hurling. (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
That's why I'm queasy (Ahhhhhhhh-choo!)
I'm queasy and I feel like hurling.

Cause I'm queasy
Queasy and I feel like hurling (Ahhhhh-choo!)
Cause I'm queasy
Queasy and I feel like hurling (Ahhhhh-choo!)
Cause I'm queeeeeeeasaaaayyy...

With that final raspy note, the feverish pony passes out just as the Cakes come in.

"Finally, she's asleep," Mrs. Cake sighs. "What were you going to do with that frying pan, honey?"

"...safety precautions." Mr. Cake muffles.

Art of the Troll

Author's Note

Song parodied:
Art of the Dress by Tabitha St. Germain aka Rarity.

Art of the Troll

Thread by thread,
Whining ‘bout the typo
Yahoove’s next.
Trolling in the answers page by page
Making sure the asker gets angry.
And the other people fill with rage
Always peeving off the Xbox users.
Making sure the furries feel like losers
I’m acting like a troll.

Chan by chan
Peeving off the admins.
On a roll
Don’t you know not to talk to a troll?
Pretend to be a Bieber fan’s desire
Make those O-mare-gle users retire.
Think I’ll mock that idiot guy’s fails
Then laugh at him when he wails.
It’s HoofTube’s new troll.

Rick Rolling’s easy
Everyone clicks the link.
Other people never tease me
But I bother them.

"Do you think this joke’s cheesy?"
:duck:
Something rude
Perhaps quite risqué.
Now a lie
All these people scream “Please die!”
Making sure it fits for Yahoo’s board.
Don’t think that I’ll ever get bored
And although it makes them go berserk.
I don’t care if I look like a jerk
I’m being a rude troll.

Post by post, ban by ban
Furs, noobs, fans, and Mormons
Thread by thread, on a roll
Nerd by nerd, then Rick Roll
And that’s the art of the troll!

Site by site, bothering the mods now
Hurt foals, don’t you know the troll’s all like to fight?
Even if your next comeback is perfect
You’re gonna be arguing all night
Thinking ‘bout the next forum to bother
Time to give a flame war a good light
I’m spamming all my friends!

Hour by hour, one more noob
I’m angering the ponies on HoofTube.
Chris-Chan is going to lose his mind
Whinnipedia has banned me one more time.
HorseChan’s now making guys go blind
You won’t believe what your email will find.
:raritystarry:
Trolling is easy, everyone’s a dope
Going to a brand new web site.
Have to flame all the threads, still up around nighttime.

All they ever want is some good manners
All I really want is a good show.
Gotta balance humor with tastelessness
Talkin’ ‘bout things that are not my business.
And if you never think “Oh, buck it!”
I’ll keep going ‘til you kick the bucket!
Gotta anger this generation
Remember, it’s all in the presentation!

Post by post, site by site
Nerds, furs, noobs, up all night.
Meme by meme, more Rick Roll
Chan by chan, won’t get old
And that’s the art of the troll!
. :raritywink: .

Not Gonna Use the A-Word

Author's Note

Song parodied: We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel.

Not Gonna Use the A-Word

Tail, hiney, bottom, hammy
Butt, booty, rear, fanny
Tush, posterior, tushie, keister, gluteus, backside
Seat, caboose, rear end
Hindquarters, tail-end
Haunches, gluteus maximus, glutes, behind

Not gonna use the A-word!
I won't use that word, too many times I've heard it
Not gonna use the A-word!
It's for an ignoramus, so you cannot shame us

Ham, rump, pollutes the air,
Breech, buns, derriere,
Can, cheeks, full moon, keester, beam, shaft, bum
Seat, nates, hunkers, duff
Gosh, writing this song is tough!
Fundament, beam, stern, I can't come up with any more!

Not gonna use the A-word!
We're a little short, but we can make it work, though
Not gonna use the A-word!
But I quit, these words don't go on, and on, and on, and on!

Not gonna use the A-word!
No I never will, though it wouldn't kill me
Not gonna use the A-word!
I will always fight it, because it blights the world!
:twilightblush::rainbowlaugh::facehoof:
I'm out, y'all, XD...

Never Gonna Click That Link

Author's Note

I don't even need to tell you...:rainbowlaugh:

Never Gonna Click That Link

We're on the internet
Don't know the rules, so I'm a fool.
An explanation's what I'm thinking of
You'd hear this from any other noob.

I just wanna tell you I've been Rick Rolled.
gotta make you understand

Never gonna click that link
Never gonna hear that song
Never gonna go to YouTube and lament.
Never gonna see that face
Never gonna link replace
Never gonna waste my time and comment.

I've heard this darn song for so long
My ears are bleeding, but I'm too shy to say it
Inside we both know what is going on
We know the game and we're gonna lose it.

And if you ask me if I saw it
Don't tell me you didn't know

Never gonna click that link
Never gonna hear that song
Never gonna go to YouTube and lament.
Never gonna see that face
Never gonna link replace
Never gonna waste my time and comment.

Never gonna click that link
Never gonna hear that song
Never gonna go to YouTube and lament.
Never gonna see that face
Never gonna link replace
Never gonna waste my time and comment.

(Ooooooh, click that link)
(Ooooooh, click that link)
Never gonna click, never gonna click.
(Click that link)
Never gonna click, never gonna click.
(Click that link)

I've heard this darn song for so long
My ears are bleeding, but I'm too shy to say it.
Inside we both know what is going on
We know the game and we're gonna lose it.

I just wanna tell you I've been Rick Rolled
Gotta make you understand.

Never gonna click that link
Never gonna hear that song
Never gonna go to YouTube and lament.
Never gonna see that face
Never gonna link replace
Never gonna waste my time and comment.

You'll click it...

Hostess Cakes

Author's Note

Song parodied: Poker Face by Lady Gaga.

Hostess Cakes

Yum, yum, yum, aah
Yum, yum, yum, aah

I wanna cram ‘em down my throat ’cuz I love their taste
Cream-filled Ding Dongs and Twinkies better than Tasty Kakes (I love ‘em)
I want to go to the Hostess Store and fill my cart
On sweet snacks I am hooked, from delicious goodies won’t depart

Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go
They hit the spot, fruit pies and what-not
Ho, ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go,
They fill me up, and don’t cost a lot

Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)
Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)

H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)
H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)

Can’t believe they’re gonna shut down the factory
Loss of Cupcakes, Donettes, and beloved Twinkies (I hate it)
Fighting depression won’t be the same without these snacks
And when they’re gone, like Marathon, they’re never comin’ back

Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go
They hit the spot, fruit pies and what-not
Ho-ho, ho, ho, Ho-Hos, ho-ho-ho-down-they-go,
They fill me up, and don’t cost a lot

Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)
Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)

H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)
H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)

I can tell you that I’ll miss you
Nothing like you
Creamy fillings I was lovin’
Sugar dyin‘, all those snacks into my face was shovin’
Used to grab ‘em in the aisles
Boxes of Twinkies and Chocodiles
Yes, them I‘ll miss, them I’ll miss
To so many ponies they brought smiles

Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)
Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)

Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)
Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)

Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)
Can't find my,
Can't find my
No I can't find my Hostess cakes
(shelves empty like a robbery)

H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)
H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)

H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)
H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)

H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)
H-h-h-Hostess cakes, h-h-Hostess cakes
(Yum, yum, yum, aah)

Gummin' 'Round the Mountain

Author's Note

Song parodied: Comin' Round the Mountain.

Gummin' 'Round the Mountain

She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums
She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums
Just a little toothless granny,
But her chewin' is uncanny,
She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums

She cuds better than the horses eatin' oats
Munchin' meals with all the courses, never bloats
Can't afford a false teeth chopper,
But, that ain't a' gonna stop her,
She cuds better than the horses eatin' oats

She's an old tough apple eater with her gums
She's an old tough apple eater with her gums
She drives her whole fam'ly all nuts
She can even crack black walnuts,
Just keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums

Harder than a stone her old jawbone's become
Even stronger than that new Titanium
She can gobble up tough turkey
Even pulverize hay jerky,
She keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums

Never has no indigestion, needs no Tums
Puckered up around the mouth like ole dry plums
Even chaws home grown tobacc'er
Spats on rats who would attack her,
Just keeps gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums

Once, they held a chewin' contest where she's from
Won it, and made other chewers look real dumb
She devoured fifty carrot dogs
Like a buzz saw sawin' logs
And she never even missed one little crumb

Goes on gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums
Always gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums
Now, you've heard of her adventures,
You know she don't need no dentures,
She'll be gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums

Just a' gummin' 'round the mountain with her gums.
:ajsmug:

Can't Take My Eyes Off Food

Author's Note

Song parodied: Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Andy Williams.

Food is a parody way of life!!! 🍕

Can't Take My Eyes Off Food

You're just too tasty to me
What can I do? I must eat.
It'd be like heaven to munch
I just want my special crunch.
At long last take-out arrived
With this food I'll surely thrive.
It's so sweet, it sticks like glue
Can't take my eyes off of food.

Sorry but I love the taste
Must eat a slower pace.
I need to get me some eats
Bread, eggs, or maybe some beets.
Finally the food has returned
Geez, I hope my grits ain't burned.
It's so sweet it, sticks like glue
Can't take my eyes off food.

I need some pancakes, syrup's a little light
A little thicker, then I might take a bite.
I need some cheese too, I need some cream cheese.
Those Belgian waffles, they make me smile all day
Now that I'm eating, my smile'll surely stay.
And let me num you, baby, let me num you.

You're just too tasty to me
What can I do? I must eat.
It'd be like heaven to munch
I just want my special crunch.
At long last take-out arrived
With this food I'll surely thrive.
It's so sweet it sticks like glue
Can't take my eyes off food.

I need some pancakes, syrup's a little light
A little thicker, then I might take a bite.
I need some cheese too, I need some cream cheese.
Those Belgian waffles, they make me smile all day
Now that I'm eating, my smile'll surely stay.
Oh, yummy baby.

Shrek's Hallelujah

Author's Note

Song parodied: Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright.

Shrek's Hallelujah

I heard there was an ogre green
And people mistook him for being mean
But he didn't really care for them, did he?
He went to live in a swamp alone
He made it nice it was his home
The forlorn beast was singing hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah...Hallelujah.

Then one day a Donkey gray
Bumped him while he ran away
Then hid so that the knights would never find him
He talked until his throat was sore
He talked and talked and talked some more
And the ogre had a headache hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

The ogre found this Donkey a pain
Then that night a worse fate came
While he was eating dinner by the fire
It started with the three blind mice
And other creatures sacrificed
He couldn't rid them all out hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

The creatures from each fairy-tale
Told him though 'twas no avail
Some guy named Farquaad had them all evicted
He told them all get off my land
And go right back to where you can
He took the talking donkey hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

Well this Farquaad was really short
His demeanor's such an awful sort
He picked a wife thanks to the magic mirror
Then sent the ogre on a quest
Who found the princess and felt stressed
Because she was so needy hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

Fiona when the time was right
When day had given way to night
A spell that she'd been given, came true
She was an ogre big and green
Her teeth looked ugly her face looked mean
While Donkey screamed in terror hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

Next morning when Fiona woke
Farquaad came and when he spoke
He wanted her so he could just be king
The ogre and Donk had an argument
Finally they had a settlement
And went to crash the wedding hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

The ogre shouted I object
And Farquaad thought he was a wreck
Which made the princes take the form of true love
Then Farquaad wanted her locked back up
The dragon came and ate him up
It's another happy ending hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah...Hallelujah
Hallelujah.

High-Priced Hotel

Author's Note

Song parodied: Highway to Hell by AC/DC.

High-Priced Hotel

Traveling cozy
Isn’t free
Bought a reservation for a master suite
I’m really tired
Let me sleep
What the hay? This isn’t cheap!!!
Must be the season?
Convention time?
Shoulda checked-out the specials
Discounted rates,
Online…
Now I‘m stuck with an expensive bill, HEY!!!

I'm in a high-priced hotel!
In a high-priced hotel!
High-priced hotel!
I'm in a high-priced hotel!

More service charges
Maxed my credit limit
Even tipping’s got me down
Carry my luggage?
Just forget it
Hit the bar, had several rounds
Hey, Hilton!
Change my room
This bill I don’t understand
Hey, Hilton!
I gotta check out
I'm on my way to Disney Land-ZOOM!!!

(Gotta get the buck outta here)

I'm in a high-priced hotel!
In a high-priced hotel!
High-priced hotel!
I'm in a high-priced hotel!

Buck, nothing’s cheap
Pay, pay, pay!

I'm in a high-priced hotel!
In a high-priced hotel!
I'm in a high-priced hotel!
In a high-priced!
Hotel
High-priced hotel!
I'm in a high-priced hotel!
High-priced hotel!
High-priced hotel!
High-priced hotel!
I'm in a high-priced hotel!
High-priced hotel!

Bill’s not goin' down, have to paa-ay-aay, whoa!!!
In a high-priced hotel.

Get me outta here!
:raritydespair: