Strange Day at the Recruitment Office

by Hammerhead

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Royal Guard, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Gallus
Length: 1997

Someone wants to apply for the Royal Guard Academy, and the Royal Guard is more surprised to find out who it is.

The Royal Guard wouldn't be the Royal Guard without ponies working in Recruitment, yet for one recruiter it's not the most fun and exciting job in the world.

However, this recruiter's day is about to get pretty interesting when someone turns up wanting to apply for the Royal Guard Academy, someone the recruiter was never prepared for.

Fanfic Reading by StraightToThePoint

Published 2020-10-14 17:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-14 17:10:00 UTC

Welcome to Recruitment

Contrary to what some would assume, not every part of the E.U.P. Guard is made up of guards for the Equestrian monarchy, despite its nickname of “Royal Guard” being so ubiquitous that many ponies treat it as the official name of Equestria’s force. There must be ponies who handle the paperwork, the administrative work at different levels, including recruiting in ponies to the Guard.

Working behind the desk at the E.U.P. Recruitment Office in the city of Canterlot is one such recruiter, Round-Up. The Light Tangelo Unicorn Stallion was sitting alone at his desk, his two rear hooves resting on it as he sat back, reading the days copy of the Canterlot Times. He was midway through reading a story about the latest local political story, as the sound of an opening door and steps approaching the opposite end of his desk.

“Uh, hello? Excuse me?” a voice called out to him. It was somewhat deep, bit nasally and young, a familiar voice of a young adult lad that Round-Up had already heard variations of ten or more times earlier that morning.

Although he was not a fan of the routine of handing out, collecting and processing forms of ponies wishing for a role more exciting than his own, he was fortunate in how unusually popular the E.U.P. still was even after Princess Twilight Sparkle took over as the new ruler.

“I’m here to apply to the Royal Guard Academy, please” The teenaged voice requested politely. It was not as common of a request, but no less expected if Round Up’s assumptions were correct.

The E.U.P. Royal Guard Academy, its official name, is a prestigious Guard ran University just outside of the city. Pretty much anypony that wants to work as an officer, captain, major, or general, would have to Graduate from there. Not as many ponies apply because of the high entry requirement, but that does not stop the more aspirational or privileged youngsters from signing up.

Round-Up was still fixed on the story in his newspaper, much to the dismay of the youngster on the other side of the desk. “Hey! I want to apply to the Royal Guard Academy, are you gonna give me a form or what?” he asked, a lot more forcefully this time. Whoever this youngster was, he wasn’t as patient or polite as Canterlot folk usually are.

As he sighed and rolled his eyes, shielded only by his newspaper, he turned his desk around to observe the series of drawers. Too lazy to get off his chair, he used his Unicorn magic to zone in on the set of drawers designated to brand new forms. Each drawer would open, and a single sheet from the top of each pile would float towards his field of view, before floating back into the drawer, until he found the correct form: Candidate Questionnaire for the E.U.P. Royal Guard Academy of Equestria.

“Here’s your form, be sure all information is accurate and you meet the general qualifications before filling it out,” said Round-Up, talking as if reciting a script with no character or emotion in his tone as his face remained focused on his newspaper, the form floating onto the surface of his desk. “Come back and hand it in when it’s done, we’ll check it over and if all is good, we’ll send you the paperwork for the next stages.”

All Round-Up could hear was a humph and the paper sliding off the desk, before the sounds of footsteps and the door that signalled the youngster’s departure. Now the office was back in silence, meaning he could read his paper for a moment without interruption.

His eyes focused in on a story of a stallion with a name that felt familiar to him, Spearhead. He recalled how he was in the same Bootcamp as a stallion named Spearhead in his early days, although while Spearhead managed to excel in training and work as a palace guard, Round-Up ended up in infantry before being discharged due to injury and getting a job as a recruiter instead.

Reading the article further, it looks like Spearhead left the Royal Guard to pursue a career as an artist and is about to have his own exhibit at the Canterlot Modern Art Museum. “Hmm… good for him, I guess,” he remarked bitterly. Round-Up couldn’t help but feel that way when some other ponies that went the same path as he ended up with more fun.

As he continued reading, the sound of the doors opening and footsteps could be heard once again. “Here,” said the sound of the youngster from earlier, followed by the sound of paper being smacked onto the wooden surface of the desk.

Round-Up took a glance down at his desk to discover that the Candidate Questionnaire that he had previously passed over was indeed filled in. This raised one of the unicorn’s eyebrows, it was still the afternoon and any other candidate would usually spend a day to make sure that it was filled in properly. He could feel that something was up.

“Alright, let me have a look.”

He used his magic to lift the form off the desk and make it float towards his line of sight to read it. The Candidate Questionnaire has plenty of sections to fill on both sides, mostly to give the Academy a basic idea of some pony's background, as well as their education and any previous military experience.

Sure enough, all the sections that were filled in were nothing out of the usual: the date of birth puts him as being around seventeen, a student at Princess Twilight’s School of Friendship with current residence in Ponyville, current grades good enough for him to pass the first stage of the application, no prior military experience, checked that he intends to also apply for the Foalbright Scholarship.

Although Round-Up had skimmed through the form, he was willing to accept it and let the youngster go away, until he noticed one section had remained empty: Kind of Pony. It was one of the easiest forms to fill, a simple tick underneath Earth, Unicorn or Pegasus, which made it all the stranger why there wasn’t a single tick under any of them.

He had to point it out. “You are aware that you haven’t specified what kind of pony you are, right?”

The youngster was quick but hesitant with his response, “Uh yeah, I don’t know what I should put down for that…”

The recruiter snorted at the absurdity of the answer, an admission he had never heard in his years of being a recruiter. “Seriously?” he muttered to himself, unable to stop himself from feeling smug at the thought. “Look, unless you’re one of the rare Alicorns in the world, I hate to tell you that your chances of getting anywhere near the Royal Guard are pretty slim if you don’t know what kind of po-“

His voice drew out a long trail until he could speak no more as he finally laid eyes on the youngster he was talking to: a creature with bright blue features, across his head, body and wings with a cream underbelly, a bright amber beak in front of his face, front legs having amber talons like an eagle and both hind legs and tail giving his rear the appearance of a blue lion. Round-Up’s eyes remained wide as he discovered that who he was talking to was definitely not a pony.

As he remained stunned, he tried to process why on Equestria this creature was sitting in front of him, his mind debating on whether this was some prank sent by one of his colleagues or a random test given by one of his higher-ups. The former sounded possible, he was sure some other recruiters would get some really strange pony making a visit to freak them out, or at least he would be if he could think of one.

The latter sounded just as plausible though, he was always warned that things might change when you least expect it once Princess Twilight Sparkle becomes the ruler. Who else but his superior would send someone to test some never before seen scenario like a non-pony wanting to join the Royal Guard Academy?

Whatever it was, he had to act quick as the blue feathered youngster was slowly looking more jaded towards him, probably not happy at the smug attitude that was slapped out of him from looking at him. In a desperate attempt to save face, he recalled his training and gave a nervous smile as he tried to form an upright and professional composure.

"W-well as you may be aware, uh…” he quickly glanced down at the application form to find the name of who he was talking to. “…Gallus, the E.U.P. Guard is made up of three… branches… that work together to form Equestria’s force.” He was frantic to find the correct words to replace in his attempt to appear inclusive and helpful, despite his nerves. “Each branch is for a kind of… creature… whose attributes and abilities suit them for both combat and non-combative roles within their branch. As such, it’s a good idea for us to find the right one to avoid any… prob- I mean confusions down the line.”

“Okay…?” Gallus responded, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head at the jittery recruiter in front of him.

Round-Up continued. “Right so… Earth is for ground-based work, these are the kind of guards that do a lot of heavy lifting and moving and are expected to have a lot of stamina and endurance for long distanced travel.” He looked at Gallus’ arms and legs, Earth ponies are bigger than most ponies and show their strength through defined muscles, but this creature didn’t look like he had that much on him. “Would you say you are a heavy lifter?” he was compelled to ask but had a bit of relief when Gallus shook his head.

Then it was the next category: “Unicorn is for magic, these guards are expected to be able to levitate to a strong and stable degree, and good laser projectiles are welcomed although not always necessary. Can you do magic?” Gallus once again shook his head, although Round-Up already assumed that was a more obvious one given the lack of a horn.

“Well, it’s always worth checking… Finally, there’s Pegasus, which is for flying. These guards are expected to be able to fly in any condition, for various kinds of airborne support. Can you fly?”

This time Gallus raised his eyebrow again at what felt like the most obvious answer, but instead of shaking his head, he slowly spread out his dark blue wings, revealing his large wingspan.

It was another obvious one to assume, but the display was enough confirmation Round-Up needed. “Perfect! I’ll put you down as Pegasus.” He grabbed a pen with his Unicorn magic and ticked the box that sat underneath the Pegasus segment of the section, completing the questionnaire. “Well then, we’ll get this processed and if all goes well, you’ll receive all the paperwork needed for the next stage of the application. Welcome to the Royal Guard!” he exclaimed, giving an upright salute as he nervously held his smile.

“Uh, thank you,” Gallus responded, as he slowly turned around and made his way through the door. Once the door shut, and the Recruitment Office was quiet and almost empty once more, Round-Up could finally relax and breath a sigh of relief. He paused for thought at whether the application that was in front of him was real or not.

“Well, I did my job, this is for the Royal Guard Academy to figure out.” He told himself with a shrug. But before he placed the Candidate Questionnaire in with the rest of outgoing applications, he took the pen once more to append the name at the top of the page, where it now reads: Gallus (Griffon)