So today was going pretty great for me, I had finally convinced Bon Bon to let me host my human appreciation club meetings in our house, the sun was shining brightly above me and, thanks to the Pegasi, there was not a single cloud in the sky. It was on days like these that I would have normally been sitting on a park bench playing my lyre or reading about humans but today was a tad different. Today I had someone I had to meet, a surprisingly rare occurrence for me, and so I was instead walking through the main street in Ponyville.

As I was walking I saw AppleJack standing behind her stall and decided that an apple would be really good right now so I started walking toward her. Now some problems came with being the only human enthusiast in a town and one of those was a certain look people gave me at times. That look could mean many things, all of them bad, with Bon Bon it was always a concerned and slightly embarrassed look, with Roseluck and the other flower ponies it was always one of disdain, but the most common one by far was the one on AppleJack’s face right now, a look of unease and worry.

I always hated when ponies looked at me like that, it was as if they saw something wrong with me just because I believed something they didn’t. When I had originally moved to Ponyville, ten years ago now, it had been to get away from that look, that look that made my parents kick me out of the house, that look that made me have to change my name, that look that meant I could never go back home again. I had to shake myself out of that memory and push it to the back of my mind as I tried to give Applejack the best smile I could as I walked towards her market stall. I walked up and, despite the smile on her face, Applejack said absolutely nothing and just tossed me an apple as I placed five bits on the counter of the stall. This was enough of a tradition for me by now that I simply grabbed the apple and turned away saying nothing and just munching the apple as I walked. I started to make my way out of town and toward the edge of the Everfree forest where Fluttershy lived in her little cottage.

Fluttershy had always been one of my favorite ponies in this town, she never gave me that look and was always kind to me, even when I was having one of my “freakouts” as Bon Bon calls them. In fact, she had been my closest friend after Bon Bon and I had that big fight seven years ago and even after Bon Bon and I made up she stayed one of my closest friends. That was until that night, the night when Twilight sparkle, the filly who forgot I even existed, came to town and defeated Nightmare Moon with the rest of the, now, elements of harmony. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to them for saving us all, multiple times now, but that doesn’t make me any less bitter about the fact that since she came here me and Fluttershy have barely had any time to spend together. Now it wasn’t as if I hated Twilight for forgetting me, I mean who wouldn’t want to forget a filly like me, but it still hurt to be around her after everything that happened.

As I shook myself out of my own thoughts I noticed I had arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage and that I had just been standing there in front of the door for Celestia knows how long. So without any further hesitation, I knocked on the door of the cottage and, instead of the soft knock of a hoof on hardwood, my hoof sank into the door with a squelch. Now I’m not normally an easily startled pony, when you study humans you learn some pretty disturbing shit, but a door eating my hoof was something that made me legitimately scream in terror. My hoof felt like I had stuck it in clay, as the substance stuck to my aquamarine coat as it sucked on my leg and pulled more and more of me into it. I continued to struggle as the door sucked more and more of my leg into it till it had forced my face into the door and everything suddenly went black.

My brain felt several times larger than my skull as I came to in... Wait I had no idea where I was right now, the last thing I could remember was knocking on Fluttershy's door. I was surprisingly used to waking up in rooms that I didn't know so I was fairly calm as I looked around at my surroundings. I seemed to be in some kind of office that smelled of mahogany and chocolate milk? The walls and floor both seemed to be made of paneled wood, the room had no door and was a bit bigger than your average living room, and the walls were decorated with beautiful paintings of what seemed to be historical events.

One of these paintings caught my eye however as it showed 25 equines, each a different type, of mixed gender standing together dressed in regal attire. I recognized some of them, even though they were not quite right themselves, but most of them were types of equine that I didn't recognize. But something in the painting next to it caught my eye, they were pale-skinned and stood on two legs, wait where those hands!? I immediately stood up and, without even noticing my pounding headache, moved in front of the painting to get a closer look at it. They looked so much like how I imagined them, they were beautiful, with their sharp features, beautiful fingers, long slender frames, beautiful skin of varying shades, and their beautiful hair.

There were some differences from the texts however as their ears were longer and pointer than most evidence pointed to them being. Another difference was that instead of appearing technologically advanced they actually appeared backward compared to modern Equestria. They wore beautiful armor of gleaming metal and wielded swords that reflected brightly in the light of the day. The final difference that I noticed was that at the head of this group stood a man dressed in elegant plate armor with a royal cloak draped over his back and a crown that rested upon his brow. This however did not match up to the evidence I had gathered about how human society operated as, according to my research, they had no queen or princess and instead elected their leaders using a democratic voting system, something Equestria had only just adopted within my lifetime, and were bastions against tyranny. This became increasingly infuriating as I noticed other tiny discrepancies with the bone structure in their hands which is much more delicate than my research had suggested they would be.

"Ah I see you've found my favorite painting," said a deep booming voice from behind me which caused me to jump into the air and turn around as quickly as I could. When I turned, my face burning and turning, what I assume was, a brilliant shade of crimson, I saw a tall creature standing behind the large mahogany desk. So I sometimes spent time with Discord and before you say it, yes I know he can be a bit of a jerk sometimes but we both had something in common, being the odd ones out. This has lead to me visiting Discord occasionally to keep him company while Fluttershy is away saving Equestria and whatever else the elements of harmony did while they were away from Ponyville. So what I mean to say is that I had spent enough time around Discord to know what he normally looked like and I could even somewhat read his emotions through his body language. This made it confusing for me when I saw what appeared to be Discord standing before me, but he looked different, his hair was long enough that it hung down slightly in front of his face and went halfway down his back.

Another thing was that his usual gray hair and eyebrows were now jet black and his eyes were no longer their usual yellow and red but were instead a black iris surrounded by a bright ethereal blue. The most striking difference to me however was the one I pointed out first "wheres your goatee?". His eyes went wide and his jaw quite literally hit the ground as he looked at me then, picking his jaw up off the floor, he fell backward laughing while floating in the air.
I think he laughed for a solid minute before he was finally composed enough to ask me "that's the first thing you ask not where you are or how you got here but where is my goatee?"

I looked at him and said "I mean that would be nice to know but you look weird without the goatee" after I had finished saying this Discord finally calmed down, whipping tears from his eyes, and smiled. It was a rare smile that Discord almost never wore, a smile without any malice, a smile that I believe has only ever been seen by me and Fluttershy.

"You know Lyra this is why your my second favorite pony in Equestria," he said causing that brilliant red blush to come back with a vengeance. "To answer your question this" Discord said as he used lion paw to motion towards himself "is how I used to look about 3000 years ago" he finished and now it was my turn to gape.
I knew he was old, at least as old as the princesses, but I never thought about how old but if he was over 3000 years old then "you're older than all of ponykind?"

With that, his expression dropped slightly as he summoned himself a glass of chocolate milk and sat on the chair behind the desk "no not really but that is a long story to tell so come sit" he said as a chair appeared on the other side of the desk. Discord now wore an expression I had only seen him wear once before when I asked him about his relationship with Celestia, it was a look of sadness and longing.

This piqued my interest, as an archeologist and equipologist, so I quickly made my way over to the seat he had summoned for me and sat down. Discord then waved his griffon claw and a cup of milk tea now sat in front of me causing me to smile slightly.

I grabbed the cup and took a sip and smiled at the taste, cotton candy and cinnamon, my favorite, something I discovered very early on in my life much to the displeasure of my parents. Everypony else always thought my choice of drink was weird, at least, until I met Discord. He loved it partially because it was something so chaotic that even he hadn't thought of it and partially because he thought it tasted good.

This, in essence, described my relationship with Discord to a tea, pardon the pun, with me being the only pony who really understands why he loves chaos. Harmony, it's what the princesses, other noble ponies, and priests tell us we should believe in, they tell us that harmony is the ultimate good and chaos it's exact opposite. I had truly believed this for much of my life, my parents were churchgoing ponies and devout believers heck my older brother is the archbishop of Canterlot himself. However, when my parents, the devout believers that they were, basically disowned me I started having second thoughts about harmony. This was continually strengthened by my research into the human concept of deism and my eventual friendship with Discord.

All of that combined made it so that I was fairly open to the idea of chaos not being evil in and of itself and as such being more open to Discords philosophy. "Lyra!!!" Discord yelled snapping me out of my own thoughts as I looked up at him "jeez you know being that in your own head is a dangerous habit Lyra" Discord finished his head resting in his paw and talon.

"I know I know it's just my own little form of escapism Discord," I said and continued to sip my tea, and then I remembered why I sat down in the first place "so you were going to tell me about something".

Discords eyebrow quirked and he smiled in a way that said 'so you finally remembered' and he said "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away" and then as he said that my vision was filled by yellow text flowing by an epic musical score started playing. Then it abruptly stopped and I was snapped back into reality with discord grinning in front of me "ha just kidding" he said causing me to sigh and shake my head.

"Okay okay for real this time" Discord began "many many years ago I was created and found myself in a world called Tartarus" and with that my jaw dropped for the second time today. "Before you ask yes ponies lived in Tartarus before coming to Equis" Discord said before I could even ask the question. He then looked at me and I saw a spark of mischief in his eyes as he looked at me with a smile that sent a small shiver down my back and said "now the rest you'll have to see and ask your own questions then".
Those words piqued my interest and I asked "what do you mean ill 'have to see'?"

He looked at me with a wide ear to ear smile as he said, "well my dear Lyra I could send you back in time and across worlds into Tartarus as it used to be". Those few words made my heart stop and my head race, oh the possibilities and the things I could learn, a whole new set of cultures to study, a new look into ancient history, and I might even get to meet some humans!

Then I remembered who I was dealing with because even though he is my friend Discord is still a trickster through and through so I asked "What's the catch".

With that, his grin faltered a little and turned into a normal smile as he said "well my dear the catch is you might not be able to, or want to, come back to modern Equis". There it was, nothing was ever straightforward and easy in my life so why should I have expected anything different from this.
Now if I'm being honest I would be perfectly fine with never seeing most of the ponies in Equis ever again. Most of them hate me anyway, that includes my own family, and the rest barely tolerates me, this includes most of Ponyville, but there is one mare who cares about me too much for me to do that to her. "I'm sorry Discord" I began to say "I just can't do that to Bon Bon" I finished and looked up to see Discord's smile turn into a slight frown.

"Well if you change your mind you always know where to find me," Discord said abruptly and then snapped his talon and I was back in front of Fluttershy's cottage.

It's been two weeks since that conversation and I have been thinking about it constantly which has lead to me spacing out more than I normally would. This is how I ended up in the situation I am in now tangled up in a multitude of streamers and banners with a ruined party around me and everypony starting down at me. I hadn't meant to ruin this party I was just so lost in thought that I tripped and fell into one of the streamers and brought everything down on top of me. Then the laughing began, it started as only one pony but, like a virus, it quickly spread to those around them, and soon everypony was laughing at me. The worst bit was that they weren't laughing with joy, no they were more mean-spirited than that and were laughing at me some even jeered.

Then I saw the one mare who wasn't laughing and was instead standing stock-still in front of the door, it was Bon Bon. I looked her in the eyes and all the sounds of the room began to dull as I saw the expression on her face, it wasn't her usual embarrassment by proxy, no this was something worse it was disappointment.

Then she quickly ran out the door and I ran after her just as quickly pushing everypony out of my way and dashing after Bon Bon into the night. The air was chilly and I knew the pegasi had called for rain tonight and Luna's moon hanging full in the sky made this a beautiful night. I continued to chase after Bon Bon leaving behind a trail of streamers and banners behind me as I ran as fast I possibly could to catch Bon Bon.
We ran for what felt like hours until she finally stopped and turned to face me and said "why Lyra every time I think your doing better you go and do this".

The look in her eyes made my stomach turn as a quickly retorted "I didn't mean to I was just thinking about something Discord said" and in that instant her look went face contorted from sadness to anger.

"There it is again Lyra you can't be friends with a monster like that," she said to me and that made me mad who was she to call Discord a monster and tell me who I can't be friends with.

"He's not a monster he just thinks differently than most other creatures" I began "and if anything that makes me and him similar in that regard" Bon Bon looked disgusted by what I had just said.
"Never say that Lyra" Bon Bon said firmly stepping closer to me as light drops of rain began to pour and I stepped away and put my front left hoof over my chest offended by the insinuation.
"Never say what, that I don't think like most ponies, that I hate most of what Equestria is, that I hate living here where everyone's too closed-minded to accept me, or that I, like Discord, have no place in this world," I said as tears started leaking from my eyes and my back right hoof began to shake lightly.

The rain was slowly pouring harder as Bon Bon looked at me her own eyes tearing up and for a long moment, we just stood there the only sound being that of the light pitter-patter of the rain hitting the ground. Then she finally spoke "then why don't you just go then? just go and never come back!" she screamed and ran off away from me.

Then I was left alone standing in the rain and I broke down completely falling to the ground and sobbing into my hooves. Why did she have to say that why am I never good enough for anypony why did I just let the mare I love leave without even saying anything? I'm a failure, though I suppose I always knew that, and now I'm a failure with nopony left in this world to turn to I'm well and truly alone. Then I stopped feeling rain hit my crying form and realized there was a circular shadow being cast from above me "well I wouldn't say that my dear" said the voice of my last friend on Equis Discord holding a green umbrella over me. "I mean you've still got me though you won't much longer if you stay in this rain," He said as he snapped his talon.

Suddenly we were back in his office and I was dry, covered in a blanket, and sat on a couch while he was sat next to me on said black cloth couch. "would you like some tea dear" he said and I nodded tea sounded very good right now and soon a cup of milk tea appeared in my hooves and I slowly began to sip it, it tasted just like the cotton candy Bon Bon had made me on our second anniversary, and yes I did cover it in caramel before I ate it and I will not be judged, and then I thought of everything else Bon Bon and I had done over the course of 8 years together.

I looked at the swirling tea inside the cup and began to cry when a strong paw and claw wrapped around me and pulled me closer to them. "Shh my dear I can take away the pain if you like I can let you forget Equis and all your troubles here, all I need is your permission" Discord whispered sweetly in my ear, yes that's all I wanted to be gone from here to never see the lands of Equis I Just wanted to leave.

"Well dear all you must do is relax and I'll take all the pain away," Discord said his voice unusually somber as my eyes slowly began to close and the last sight I would ever see of Equis would be Discord smiling down at me sadly as I lay on his chest, tears clinging to the corners of his eyes as the world slowly went black.

Author's Note

What Lyra knows - nothing

And there goes the first chapter of, hopefully, many. Updates may be sparse as I am still in school and I'm working on this in my free time but I'll try to update as often as I can. So yeah I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and please tell me what you think.