Why me?

by FoolishFreshman

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 7 (EqG), Human, Mystery, Comedy, Self Insert, Equestria Girls
Length: 3831

Ethan, a high school freshman, gets caught in the middle of all relevance

Ethan, 15 year old Freshman watches everything around him go to hell. He just wants to go home, eat pizza rolls, and waste time. Now he has to worry about she-demons, sirens, and vengeful forest spirits. And since when was he friends with magical girls!?

The main 7 are taken from not long after Legend of Everfree, due to the fact that i haven’t really watched any of the movies after that point.

Published 2020-10-17 04:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-17 04:40:00 UTC

1 - Something’s Off Here

Honestly, had I known the amount of sheisse that would result of the day ahead of me, I would have never gotten out of bed. My voice operated tech-slave and phone were both blasting alarms at full volume, but as usual it had taken my dad to wake me up.

I checked my phone, 7:11, I still had time to get ready then. I quickly shoved my legs in my last clean pair of jeans, then put on the good ol’ middle school club shirt. Not that it mattered, it would be covered by the Cache Valley Cup 2019 sweatshirt. I slapped them shoes on my feet and rushed to the bathroom.

My hair was a rat’s nest as usual, a problem solved by a spray bottle and hairbrush. I worried my hairline had receded, a side-effect of having a bald dad and slowly balding brother. Thinking back on that day, I wish that was my biggest concern the next week.

Having got my stylistic choices done that morning, I quickly gathered my usual school tools, consisting of a mechanical pencil, headphones, my lunch card, and my phone. I rushed upstairs from my basement oriented morning preparations, 7:19, I still had time for my dad to not get annoyed by my morning lethargy.

With my master chef abilities, I made a dish consisting of fried corn flakes with a light coating of powdered suger in a bowl, drowned in milk. Otherwise known as Frosted Flakes said in the most pompous way I can imagine.

I checked the weather and saw that it was finally getting warmer, a small comfort in hindsight.

7:27, my dad and I got in his truck for him to deliver me into fate’s open maw that day, at the time just another day of school. I said bye and walked into the school. The second I passed the threshold into the commons I got the most hardcore ‘bad vibes’ chills I had ever felt. At the time I just dismissed it as being cold, if only I had known.

Walking to my math classroom I had rumors and murmurs that a police officer had been attacked on campus the previous night, of course I was curious but I had brushed the rumors aside and decided that my grades and attendance were more important than rumors of an assault.

I had reached the upstairs class where the teacher would shove number patterns into my brain and make me apply them to other numbers before one variation of the rumors had sunk into my head. Supposedly a magician had thrown him into the wall with telekinesis, ‘who would believe that kind of crap?’ I thought. If only I had known what was coming for me later that day. Past that, math hadn’t really contained anything else of note other than a subject I can’t remember nearly enough to relay.

On my way to the class period referred to as FLEx, which is just a glorified study hall, I saw a purple haired girl with purple skin, I looked around and wondered how no one had noticed the girl with an obviously major skin condition. No one had a single reaction, which should have been a major red flag in hindsight. Being the naïve little fool I was at the time, I just resumed my journey to the study hall classroom.

I got nothing done in it other than worrying about whether or not I was going insane. She looked familiar, but I hadn’t watched any of those movies in a solid 3 years.

Her indigo(I think) hair was in a bun and it had a pink highlight. She wore thick ‘nerd glasses’ not too dissimilar from mine, but without the red inner coating. My rough memory told me she wore a light blueish grey sweatshirt and navy jeans. An imposter in fashion style to me. And the part that majorly concerned me, the lavender skin that NO ONE noticed was mayhaps a little strange.

I continued to worry about this even until I had gone to my next class, a CAD design class if knowing that matters. But, seriously how does no one notice that a person has lavender skin. I mean, yeah don’t judge people based off of skin tone but she was PURPLE. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN.

At the midpoint of my class period, I noticed how long I had been spaced out freaking out, and realized I probably should have started working 20 minutes ago. I decided, using my plinko machine of a brain, to confide in my resident CAD class companion.

I leaned over to the left, got her attention and whispered to her, “Hey, Danica. How would you react if you saw a human with lavender skin?”

She just looked at me weird.

“Just humor me. How would you react?”

“I’d uh... I’d probably be freaked out, but say nothing I guess,” she replied, still looking at me like I screamed Banana Fish at the top of my lungs.

“Good to know we’re on the same page.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Perhaps my information gathering tactic could be worked on, I decided. I spent the rest of the class period working on my assignment and freaking out while saying nothing.

Eventually, the end of the class period came and lunch started, due to the latency of my distressed brain I was late to the line, after acquiring my time tested combo of cold fries, pizza, and chocolate milk. I walked out the front of the school and sat down at my usual spot. A shady area with a knee high barrier between the concrete and the wood chips that a friend of mine named James showed me.

He wasn’t there, so I assumed he was in the library, the area we usually hung out after eating. Dismissing the strange occurrence, which was starting to become a bad habit of mine. I sat down and ate almost mechanically while thinking about how a human could have purple skin, perhaps I was just going insane or it was a trick of the light. Fed up, I started to look it up.

As I was typing in my query a female voice called out my name, I dismissed it, I only have two female friends and neither have my lunch schedule, besides I’m hardly the most popular Ethan around. The same voice called out again, it sounded somewhat familiar. I wondered where her friend could be. Eventually the event that caused my whole day to collapse happened.

A purple hand tapped my leg. I looked over and everything made some sick twisted sort of sense. Sitting right next to me, looking confused as hell was gosh damn Twilight Sparkle.

Author's Note

If this is the pace for the rest of the story i may lose patience myself

2 - Everything Starts to Go Wrong

I think at that point my brain just stopped working due to a combination of confusement, shock, and prior stress. I remember dropping my phone and her looking a little worried, but other than that I just froze. The next thing I remember doing was stumbling through being a decent person and actually having a conversation.

“Uhhh, h- yes hello.”

“You okay?” She asked, definitely concerned.

Yes hello I am fine a cartoon character tapped my leg and is now TALKING TO ME.

“P-perhaps.”

“Perhaps… What?”

“Maybe.”

“Are- are you okay?” She was definitely concerned by my behavior.

“Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.” I panic referenced as my mastermind plan came into action.

In one super un-fluid motion I stood up, grabbed my backpack and phone. And with all the grace of a trained beluga whale I sprinted back into the school, through the hallways, and stumbled up the stairs into the library. As per protocol I scanned my lunch card on my way in.

There was no James in the library, I figured he must have been having an off day at home. Panting like a man who ran halfway across a school, I power walked into the computer lab and sat way in the back corner, hopefully hidden from outside view. Now I could get down to business.

I decided the best way to stumble through this situation was to get my brain in order and review what was happening. First, for some reason Sci-Twi is a real person, that’s concerning in it’s own right. Second, no one else has acknowledged the fact that Sci-Twi is a real person or is concerned about it. Third, apparently she’s familiar enough with me to recognize me from a distance, and to be concerned about me.

I decided for the second time to confide in one of my friends, apparently I never learn. I quickly pulled out my phone and started messaging my friend on Instagram, offhandedly noticing that he changed his username again.

Steven weird crap is happening
An MLP character is real and knows me somehow
No one else here has noticed

Who’s steven?

Dude you.

I'm sorry Ethan but that’s not my name.

‘What the hell do you mean that’s not your name?’ I was extremely confused at this point. Steven, my usual confidant was refusing that that was his name. I looked at the top of the screen and sure enough, It was his profile picture, but only then did I realize what his username was now.

It was ‘FBreezepets15’. I remember my first thought being ‘haha febreeze’. At this point I was confused beyond words and slightly panicking, I was about to check the full profile when the bell rang and signified the end of lunch. I considered ditching class and investigating but decided against it, gotta get that presidential scholarship after all.

Quickly and stealthily I made it to my Physics classroom, well, as quickly and stealthily as you can go in a high school hallway. Luckily I managed to avoid any cartoon character communications and got to the class 3 minutes before the end of the passing period.

Just when I think I’m finally safe and can have a nice uninterrupted class period of physics, Little Miss Purple walks in. I look away from the door and cover my face with my hood in the least conspicuous way possible, she just walks out of view.

Hopefully, I thought, this class will just go as normal as can be, ignoring the living cartoon character somewhere behind me.

The teacher does her usual introductions and class preparations as she tells us to answer some light related questions on our study guides. After she was sure everyone was done with the questions she turned off the lights and put a video on the board explaining some obscure fact about light. She does this all without having a care in the world about the fact that a pastel human from a cartoon is in her classroom.

During the video I paid absolutely no attention to, I chanced a glance behind me to see if James actually was at school and I just never noticed him. I wouldn't put it past me, I've done it before. Unfortunately there was no James.

Oh well, I thought, hope he gets better.

Then I noticed something even worse than no James, and no, it's not that I wasn’t wearing pants and actually just having a nightmare, in fact I wish I was. It was the fact that, sitting in James’s seat like she belonged there, was good ol’ Sci Twi.

No, I didn’t faint from the shock, once again I wish I did. I just calmly turned back to the screen and sat there, the most confused and scared I had ever been in my life. Throughout the rest of the class period, I just sat there, hoping that this was just a bad dream and I would wake up to two alarms and an irate father. But no, I wasn’t granted that mercy.

Eventually the bell rang and, with speeds that impressed even myself, I booked it out of the classroom and back up to the second floor, where my next class resided. The entire allotted reading time in literature I just stared at a random page of my book, wondering why 5’5” Twilight Sparkle was sitting in 6’6” James’s seat. Also concerning me was the sudden rebranding and suspected renaming of confidant Steven.

Briefly the notion that James had been replaced by Twilight came to my mind, but I quickly dismissed it. After all, that kinda thing only happens in badly written fanfiction… right?

The rest of literature I did what I do best, immersing myself in content to avoid my problems. I read two chapters ahead of class that period.

After literature came Computer Science Principles, a class that is not nearly what it sounds like. It being Friday, it was a free day, one I spent listening to music and playing ol’ reliable Burrito Bison: Launcha Libre. In the midst of my gummy bear genocide I recieved a message, a usual occurrence nearing the end of the school day.

I opened my phone, expecting to be a meme from one of my siblings, If only I was so lucky. Rather, it was a message from one ‘Fluttershy Breeze’, before I even read the message I felt my stomach drop.

Are you okay? You texted like you were freaking out and I think you messaged the wrong person

I put my phone back down, and after a long contemplation on what to do, I decided to use the age-old technique of avoiding your problems and using escapism. I went back to listening to music and mindlessly playing Burrito Bison.

Things were adding up and not making sense. Two cartoon characters were acting like they had always been friends with me, two of my real friends suddenly disappeared, the people around didn’t even notice the pastel purple person, I was missing all the crit launches in Burrito Bison.

Once the end of the day came I rushed to the bus and waited for my stop.

3 - Plans, Schemes, and more Plans

The fiery haired girl watched as little miss Twilight goody-two-shoes Sparkle interacted with the brown haired boy with glasses, the boy had sat there for 30 seconds before shouting a stunted greeting. After a brief and awkward looking conversation he had grabbed his things and ran away.

Samantha Summers quickly gave covert chase to the boy, forming her plan to get at Twilight Sparkle. She watched as he rushed himself into the corner some sort of computer lab and sat down.

Deciding to remain in information gathering mode she shadowed him throughout the rest of the day, learning his schedule. After the school day ended she approached the principal’s office. Preparations for phase one of her plan were now underway.

She knocked on the office door, “Come in!” a woman’s voice exclaimed. Tentatively, she opened the door and sat down in one of the two seats facing the woman.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you before, are you a new student?” The ginger-haired woman questioned.

“No, but I would like to be,” Summers lied, “I recently moved here and would like to enroll.”

“That’s good. There’s two forms you and a guardian will have to sign. You’ll also have to fill a form for classes you’d like to take.” The principal explained, gathering said papers and a thick packet.

Summers recieved the papers handed to her and shook the principal’s hand. She stood up and started to the doors. Before she left the door she looked behind her to check on something.

The principal never noticed the sun-styled ying yang symbol left on her hand after the shake. Good.

Something in the back of her head was telling her it had been too easy, but she wasn’t experienced enough with the public school system to know if that was true.

Summers walked the whole distance back to the main Providence/Logan area she woke up in, and decided to wander around to make an internal map to find her way around. Seeing a rather large building with blue logo shaped like a comic book text box, reading ‘Macey’s’, she decided it would be a good place to start.

She walked through the air-conditioned entrance, and quickly realized it was nothing more than a grocery store. She checked her pockets, empty. Deciding not to waste her time she walked back to the entrance before seeing a rather familiar face.

The brown-haired boy, walking next to a taller man, presumably college-age. The man had black hair, much straighter and darker than the boy’s, also swept back rather than to the left. The boy looked bored and was glancing around while talikng to the man. Eventually the boy looked in the direction of Summers and froze.

Summers quickly retreated back into the aisle and contemplated her next move. Deciding it to be just acting casual and leaving the store. On her way out, she didn’t see the two. Realizing what she should have been doing the entire time she ran back out to the empty field behind the store, where her journal lay hidden.

Sitting down and pulling the registration papers out her backpack she set to her first goal of getting into the school. And so as far as the offices knew, the girl was Samantha Summers, daughter of Edward Summers. Sunset Shimmer looked down at her most recent master deception and decided that she was satisfied.

She discarded the class papers, not like she’d need them with the spell put on the principal, probably working on getting her as close to the brown-haired boy as possible. Somehow, she didn’t know where the idea spawned from, that boy would be the perfect way to get to Sparkle.

Using the sun, a skill she learned after a year and a half in hiding, she gathered it was approximately 6:30, PM judging by the fact it was going down. Suddenly realizing she had been up since 4 AM, the fatigue caught up to her. It would explain how she was sloppy enough for the boy to spot her. She looked around and saw a bus stop canopy, figuring it would be better than a field where any number of critters could live.

As she walked to the canopy she saw a head of long light-pink hair. Watching the former target of hers, Sunset propped her head on her backpack and observed the pale yellow girl make her way away from the grocery store, holding a bag of what appeared to be dog food.

The pink haired girl was yet another person she recognized from her previous world, the timid Fluttershy Breeze, who apparently now lived within walking distance of the Macey’s.

Eventually the siren call of sleep laid it’s claim upon Sunset as she drifted off.

-???-

The shapeless, shifting mass in the darkness made a noise only the most observant of beings could identify as a laugh. Its first agent had already crossed the barrier, other things had also crossed unintentionally, but they had been collateral damage, ants in the grand scheme of its dark future.

It was aware of the possibility of losing it’s first agent, the memory seals weren’t perfect, but as long as things went to plan that wouldn’t be a concern.

Still though, nagged a voice in the back of its head, contingencies should be made.

It turned its attention to the organization spanning the region, perhaps an agent with more bureaucratic power would prove useful. Magic was strong, but not the most covert, a way to cover up the happenings in the valley would prove to be a boon for sure.

It was aware of the dangers to the two universes it’s actions presented, but since when has Evil cared about consequences when victory was within grasp?

-Ridgeline High-

Mrs. Foster personally thought she was a good principal, which meant in some capacity she could deal with stressful situations related to school.

However the lightning running rampantly all over her body was not a school-related stressful situation. She never noticed the fact that, spreading all over her body were cracks. The type of cracks that happen to an irresponsible teenager’s phone screen. These cracks, however were glowing with an unnatural light.

When the cracks covered her body from head to toe, she vanished in a flash of light. At that exact moment, there was another flash at the chair behind her desk.

Startled, Principal Celestia jumped in her chair. Realizing quickly that she must have dozed off doing paperwork for… for something. She focused on the task at hand and continued reorganizing schedules for 1 student in 4 different classes.

None the wiser to the fact that she had just been ripped from another dimension and mind-whammied.

Author's Note

Not my best work, due to the fact that I actually have no clue how school registration works

Prologue- Set up the Grand Scheme

What's the last thing she remembered? There was a lot of yelling, the statue started cracking and glowing, and then there was a light, a very bright light. After that? Nothing. Now all she had was the journal and a map of the high school, Ridgeline High School they call it. Time for a new plan, she supposed. She got into the principal’s office, it wasn’t too hard, security guards usually aren’t prepared for a 17 year old girl to have magic.

One advantage to the world she’s ended up in, she realized, is that she regained the ability to use some of her magic, it will come in handy for sure.

She checks the time, 4:48 AM, it explains the lack of students, and sun now that she thought about it. The students at this school have quite different names than she’s used to, perhaps it would benefit to have an alias.

The newly appointed Samantha Summers notices a name she’s manipulated before in the long list of pupils, one Fluttershy Breeze. And one familiar name, a Twilight Sparkle. She screams in anger at seeing the name of the oh-so-perfect understudy of her former teacher. The journal she had with her the whole time starts glowing, shaking. She stares at it for a while, contemplating whether or not to see what had appeared now.

She reads it, it’s nothing more than crocodile tears and bait, she tells herself. She shakes her head, ridding the journal from her head, all that matters is that she needs a new plan to gain control of this school.

Deciding she’s gotten all she needs, she quickly gets rid of any sign of her presence and flees the scene, no need to worry about the security guard, who’s gonna believe him about the teenage girl with telekinesis. After all, no one in this world would ever believe or investigate something like that. Right?

Author's Note

Here starts my grand mistake