The AppleDash Project: Wherever Life Takes Usby bookplayerChaptersSomething to Do (The Crystal Empire)A Kick in the Heart (The Crystal Empire)Raising Barns isn't for Everypony (Too Many Pinkie Pies)How to Herd Wild Ponies (Too Many Pinkie Pies)Something to Do (The Crystal Empire)Rainbow Dash floated along on a cloud. There was nothing to do, so she was wasting time. She'd already practiced every trick she knew, set the skies according to the weather schedule, and checked with each of her friends to see if they were doing anything interesting. They weren't. Then she took a nap for a while, but now she was awake again. Dash picked a piece off of the cloud and rolled it between her hooves until it disappeared, leaving her hooves wet with rainwater. She dried her hooves on her mane, and poked at the cloud. It was getting thin, she kept doing that, picking it apart without thinking. Just last week she'd messed with a cloud until it couldn't hold her anymore, and she ended up falling through and landing in the park. That was the most exciting thing that had happened to her in the past month. She looked down over the edge of the cloud. This time she was over Sweet Apple Acres, and everything looked peaceful below. The foals were by their clubhouse, arguing about something; Mac was plowing a field of something, and AJ was carefully checking all of the trees for something. All perfectly normal somethings. It was the same all over Ponyville, like it had been since the wedding. Dash laid back and noticed that she'd picked off another piece of cloud to play with. She rolled her eyes and shoved the piece back into the cloud. She was going to have to go be bored someplace else, before she had another exciting tumble out of the sky. She took off and flew down to AJ, landing on the branch of the tree the cowpony was inspecting. “Heya!” AJ said, glancing up with a grin. Dash had to grin back. “Hey, how much longer do you have to work?” “Well now, I'm just about done, soon as I finish this row.” “Great! Let's do something.” Dash flew to the ground, walking next to AJ as she moved to the next tree. “Okay, what do ya wanna do? Horseshoes?” Dash rolled her eyes. “No way. Something exciting.” “We could go for a run.” Applejack smiled at her. “I'll race ya'.” Dash frowned, feeling a little guilty. Any other time, that would be cool. But any other time she would've been doing something awesome all day, not sitting on a cloud. “I said exciting. Come on, AJ, there has to be something.” “Like what? I mean, it's still light out and there's fillies runnin' around, we can't-” “Not exciting like that.” Dash considered it, and raised her eyebrows. “Though now that you mention it. . .” “No,” Applejack said flatly. “Okay. That wasn't what I was talking about anyway.” “So, what were ya' talkin' about, sugarcube?” Applejack stopped and leaned against a tree. “Nothing exciting ever happens around here anymore! When did we get so boring? It's like last week, when you weren't sure if I was mad at you for winning that race.” “What 'bout it?” “You just came and talked to me about it!” Dash said, exasperated. “You could've stomped around while I tried to figure out what was wrong.” Applejack looked confused. “But you don't like it when I do that.” “Yeah, but it would've been something to do! We could've had a fight about it or something.” “You. . . wanted to have a fight?” Applejack asked, her look changing from 'confused' to 'my marefriend is out of her mind.' “No!” Dash said quickly. She didn't want to have a fight with AJ. She thought she didn't at least. The idea actually gave her a little chill of fear up her spine, but it did sound exciting. “I just want something like a fight.” “If you're wantin' to have a fight, I think you're on the right track. I love ya, it hurts when we have a fight,” Applejack said, still looking at Dash like she was crazy. Dash couldn't blame her right now. “I know, AJ. I love you, too. I didn't mean we should have a fight.” Dash moved up next to her and gave her a nuzzle. “You just said you want somethin' like a fight.” Applejack huffed. “I know, but I don't really want that. I don't want to hurt you. I'm just. . . bored.” Applejack looked at her for a minute, and her face softened. “Okay, so we'll find somethin' you wanna do.” “Not just the same old stuff we always do though,” Dash warned. “Something totally different and exciting.” On cue, Pinkie popped out of nowhere right in front of Dash's face, causing her to jump backwards with a yell, to the snickering amusement of AJ. “There ya' go, different and excitin'.” “Are you kidding? This is totally boring for Pinkie.” Pinkie didn't seem to notice the conversation, “Guys! Guys! Guess what?” Dash sighed. “You made some cookies? You're having a party? One of the Cake twins did some baby thing?” “No, Twilight got a letter from Princess Celestia and now she has to go to Canterlot for a really big test that she never knew about!” Dash considered this news. She considered Twilight, and how Twilight usually reacted to stress. Applejack raised her eyebrows at Dash, seemingly thinking the same thing. “Well, Dash, we could go watch Twilight lose 'er mind.” “I'm so there!” Dash said, taking off ahead of her friends towards the library. She was probably taking more pleasure in Twilight's discomfort than was really nice, but a Twilight Sparkle freak out was quality entertainment. Besides, it was all over nothing, Dash knew Twilight never failed a test. A Kick in the Heart (The Crystal Empire)Applejack sat with Rarity on the train ride home from the Crystal Empire, talking and laughing and trying to ignore the suspicious glare Fluttershy was shooting at them. Rarity assured AJ that she would explain everything to their friends later, but for right now, it was part of the plan. Applejack tried not to look at Fluttershy, and kept glancing over at Dash, who was just staring out the window glumly. AJ pretended to be interested in the cut, size, and clarity of shiny rocks for about twenty minutes before Rarity finally whispered, “That should do it. Now, go and talk to her. Mention how fabulous I looked, but don't say anything else. Be mysterious.” “Mysterious. Gotcha.” Applejack nodded, standing up. “I hope this works.” Applejack walked over and sat down next to Dash. She smiled and nuzzled her marefriend, and Dash gave a brief nuzzle back before returning her attention to the window. AJ cleared her throat. “Boy, Rarity sure looked pretty, all see through and stuff.” “Huh? Yeah, she looked hot.” “Did she now?” Applejack started to frown, then Rarity caught her eye, urging her on. “I mean, she sure did.” A silence settled over them. Dash seemed to be the only pony one the train who failed to notice Applejack flirting with Rarity. Except for maybe Twilight, who was in the middle of her third nervous breakdown in as many days. "She was a little down, ya' know, cause she couldn't stay all crystally. But talkin' to me seems to have cheered her right up." "That's cool." Applejack just looked at Dash, looking out the window, and muttered, "Least it works on somepony." This obviously hadn't worked. Flirting with Rarity was a last ditch effort to get a reaction out of Dash. Nothing had worked so far. From trying to be more open and publicly nuzzling her, to a very interesting evening with translucent bodies, nothing seemed to really hold Dash's interest. “What's wrong, sugarcube?” Applejack whispered, abandoning the dumb plan and trying what she knew should work, for the hundredth time. “Nothing. Everything's great. Equestria's safe, and I didn't even have to throw a punch.” “I thought I saw ya' throwin' a few at random ponies on the street.” “They didn't fight back, it doesn't count.” “You got to joust with Fluttershy, that's kinda like fightin'.” “AJ.” Dash turned from the window to look at her flatly. “Jousting with Fluttershy isn't like fighting. Fighting with Fluttershy isn't even like fighting.” “Not as much fun as fightin' with me, huh?” Applejack gave a small smirk. “I told you, I don't want to fight with you.” Dash sighed. “I just said that 'cause. . . I don't know why I said that. Just drop it, okay?” “Okay. But. . . what 'bout joustin' with me? That might be fun.” “Yeah,” Dash said, and a light seemed to go on in her eyes. “Yeah! That would be cool! But we don't have any of that stuff, lances or armor or anything.” Applejack grinned happier than she'd been in weeks, thanks to the change in the pegasus. “I'll have a word with Rarity, I bet she can whip us up some armor. And lances are just sticks, right? I got plenty of them.” “That sounds awesome. You really want to joust with me?” “Are you kiddin'?” She nudged Dash happily. “I wanted to, at the fair, but I never got a chance to figure out how. I was stuck doin' all the cookin' so Pinkie could learn to play the flugelhorn.” “That was a great idea.” Dash rolled her eyes. “I hope I never see another flugelhorn again.” “Ya' know she took one home.” “No way. I poked through her mane, twice. I threw away three of them. And a tray of berry muffins.” Dash wrinkled her nose. Applejack smirked. “Ya' know she took one home.” “Yeah. I know.” Dash laughed, and to AJ that would've made up for Pinkie having a dozen flugelhorns. Which she probably did, anyway. "So, let me teach you about this jousting stuff. . ." After a stop in Canterlot to assure Twilight that she was still the smartest pony in Equestria, the six ponies and a dragon returned home, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash revealed their plan. Rarity happily agreed to help, creating two suits of padded armor modeled after the Crystal Empire armor. Applejack’s rodeo practice ring was turned into an arena, and grand stands added after everypony in town expressed an interest in seeing the match. Two long poles were acquired, and pillows were tied to the ends at Fluttershy's insistence. By the next weekend, Applejack stared at Rainbow Dash on the other side of the practice ring, lance ready. The stands were packed with ponies, and Twilight and Fluttershy stood by for emergency medical assistance that AJ and Dash both assured them would not be needed. Across the ring, Dash smirked at AJ, and playfully pawed the ground a few times. Applejack grinned with narrowed eyes. As Applejack and Dash faced off, Pinkie blew the flugelhorn she had managed to smuggle home despite Dash's best efforts. Applejack leapt into action, charging at Dash as fast as she could. The crowd seemed to fall away, even though they were cheering loudly. She shifted her body, aiming the pillow tipped lance at the pegasus coming at her just as fast. For just an instant she could clearly see the look of determination on Dash's face. Then came the impact, like a buck to the chest, it pushed her to her hind legs. At the exact same time her own lance jerked in the holster, shoving her hard in the side and knocking her onto her back. The crowd gasped, and Twilight teleported to Applejack's side. “Are you okay?” she asked quickly, the concern obvious on her face. “Think so. Probably. Just gimme a minute.” Applejack panted. “What 'bout Dash?” “Ow! Stop touching that! I told you it doesn't hurt!” AJ heard from a few feet away. She tried to chuckle, but the jolt of pain made her stop. “Well, you didn't kill each other,” Twilight said dryly. “Course not. That was just the first pass.” Applejack gave a grin, which made Twilight smile back. “You're not really going again, are you?” “Well. . .” She sat up a little and glanced over at Dash. Dash looked to be in the same state Applejack was in. Fluttershy was standing over her and Dash was doing her best to shoo her friend away. Then Dash caught AJ's eye and grinned. “I'm goin' again,” Applejack said, willing herself to stand up. Dash was getting to her own hooves, though AJ could see that she had more than a few feathers out of place. “Coming back for more?” “You didn't think you could take me down with that lil' ol' poke, did ya'?” Applejack teased back. Dash smirked. “That's not what you said last-” “Dash!” Applejack blushed, they were surrounded by other ponies, including her family. But her heart was soaring. This was them again, it was right. She smirked. "Just cause you get lucky every now and again don't mean you're gonna win." "You're right. I'm gonna win 'cause I'm the best knight in Equestria!" "Well now, that makes sense, bein' as you ain't that bright." "Wha- hey, I meant knight, with a k. I should've known you can't spell it." "I. T. Now we gonna have a joust, or a spellin' bee?" Applejack was starting to laugh. Dash grinned. “Let's go!” “Ready and waitin'!” Applejack said, trotting to her spot with a smile. If that goofy pegasus needed to bash somepony dizzy every now and then to have fun, it was a good thing she had a marefriend who could bash her right back. Late that night, the two battered ponies lay in the barn on a pile of hay, recovering from their earlier combat. Both mares had pushed themselves more than they probably should have, and both were covered in bruises, sweat and dirt. After that first pass they had both missed a few, but more often they ended up sprawled in the dirt to the increasing worry of Twilight and Fluttershy. It had finally been called a draw when Twilight enlisted Big Macintosh to stand between the two knights, and neither had the strength to give him more than a feeble shove. Despite that, they'd both enjoyed the chance to show off their physical prowess in front of a crowd, and with Dash finally content that something cool had happened, Applejack couldn't have been happier. Dash was next to her, grinning, even if both of them could barely move. “Ow, hey!” AJ said, a hoof poking a sore spot on her side. “Sorry, just checking,” Dash said, giggling, until Applejack gave her wing a gentle push. “Owowow! Stop that!” Applejack chuckled. “How's that for checkin'? I can kinda see why ponies gave up on joustin'.” “But you have to admit, it was awesome. You looked so cool in that armor.” “You didn't look bad yourself.” Applejack wrapped a foreleg around Dash and stroked her mane. “Why can't every day be like this?” Dash sighed. “'Cause we'd kill each other,” Applejack pointed out. “Dash, what's goin' on? I know life's been kinda borin' lately, but it really seems to be eatin' you. We're a team, when you gotta problem, I gotta problem, but right now I don't even know what the problem is.” Dash thought for a minute, searching for the words. “I just feel like everything is. . . good.” “Good is good, ain't it?” Applejack asked, confused. “No. Good is boring. Why isn't it awesome and exciting? My life needs to be awesome and exciting.” “What about us?” “Huh?” “Are we good?” Applejack asked softly. Dash hesitated. “. . .Sometimes.” Then she snuggled close to AJ. “But sometimes we're totally cool, like today. That was amazing.” “It was awful fun.” Applejack said, happy to once again have a content pegasus snuggled in her forelegs. “I dunno how often I can be amazin' like that, Dash. I'm pretty beat up.” “I know. Besides, that would get boring after a while. I can't wait to figure out what we can do next!” Dash was nuzzling AJ's chest, so she didn't notice her ears fall, or the look of worry on her face. Of course there had to be something next. There would always have to be something next. Raising Barns isn't for Everypony (Too Many Pinkie Pies)Dash sighed. The question of what to do today was decided for the moment. The answer turned out to be 'smack around clouds that didn't know how to stay in the stinking sky.' This was not her favorite answer, but it was better than just pushing them around at least. She gave the cloud a few sharp smacks with her tail. “You show that fog who's boss.” Dash looked up from the annoying patch of fog to see Applejack smirking at her. “Want me to show you next?” Dash said, smirking right back. “Only if ya' want your tail tied round an apple tree.” “No fair, flirting with me when I'm at work.” Dash grinned and flew over to AJ. “What's up?” Applejack nuzzled her. “I was just wonderin', do ya have any plans for the afternoon?” “Nope!” Dash's eyes lit up at the idea of possible excitement. “Why? Wanna do something fun?” “Well, I sure do. We're havin' a barn raisin'!” Applejack said, proudly. Dash was actually caught off guard for a moment. She knew a barn raising usually came with a party, but something about the idea was unsettling. Never one to question why she was feeling any given thing, Dash just stared at AJ, arching an eyebrow. “Barn raising?” “Yup!” Applejack went on, not seeming to notice Dash's lack of enthusiasm. “We're askin' anypony who wants to come to help out!” “Um, no thanks. I have plans.” Applejack's face fell. “You just said you weren't doin' nothin'!” “My plans changed.” Dash shrugged. “Now I'm not doing anything that involves building a barn.” “You sure you don't wanna come?” AJ asked hopefully. “You've never raised a barn before, it'd be somethin' different.” Dash cringed a little, she hated to disappoint AJ. But she did not want to raise a barn, so she latched on to an excuse. “I'm not dumb, this is totally one of those things where you tell me how much fun something'll be to trick me into working!” “Well, I ain't sayin' there's no work to be done-” “Ha! Told ya!” Dash smirked. “But everypony's gonna be workin' together, and in the end we can all have a bite to eat and feel proud of what we did.” Applejack finished with a smile. Dash frowned. It did sound nice. “Can I come for the dinner and feeling proud part?” “Not if ya' ain't gonna help,” Applejack said dryly. “You know I'd totally help, but. . .” Dash glanced around and caught sight of the fog. “I have to work all morning. I just wanna relax after that.” Applejack nodded, definitely seeming disappointed now. “Well then, that's just fine. I just thought ya' like to try somethin' new and fun. I mean, I'd never say ya' don't work hard at stuff, and ya' help me out all the time, but I don't think I've ever seen ya' build somethin', somethin' that lasts and you can look at years from now.” Dash blinked. “I- I haven't.” “Don't ya' wanna give it a shot?” “Nah,” Dash said automatically, wondering why AJ's speech left this nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She shoved it aside and smirked at AJ. “But, if you've got a new barn, maybe I could come over tonight and we could break it in.” Applejack's face melted into a smirk. “I see how it is. You don't wanna help build a barn, but you sure wanna use it. You sure that ain't gonna be too much work for ya'?” “Try me!” “I'll just haveta do that tonight. I gotta go haul some apples now, sugarcube. You stay outta trouble!” As AJ left, Dash returned to the fog, wondering what was wrong with her. She's just disappointed AJ and turned down a probably fun new thing to do. But it just wasn't her kind of new thing. She liked moving fast and danger and excitement. Building a big, solid barn that would be there forever. . . that was the sort of thing AJ did. AJ could have fun too, of course. Dash loved it when AJ had fun with her. But when it came to making stuff that lasted. . . that was totally AJ's department. Dash went back to attacking the fog with her tail, trying to think of something to do after work, since AJ was going to be busy. How to Herd Wild Ponies (Too Many Pinkie Pies)As the sun went down, Rainbow Dash and Applejack returned to the newly built barn. It still smelled of sawed timber and paint, but it was well built and solid. Like AJ herself, but a lot less sexy, in Dash's opinion. Applejack flopped down on the freshly laid straw in the corner, and Dash grinned and landed next to her. Applejack just looked at her and smirked. “So, did ya' have a nice time relaxin' today?” Dash shot her a look, before flopping heavily onto the straw. “Well, you're the one that's been lookin' for more excitement,” Applejack pointed out with the same smirk. “Yeah, but a whole herd of Pinkie Pies. . . she could've at least waited 'til my day off!” “Ya' know, Dash, I don't think anypony's ever bothered to check my plans before they went and did somethin' foolish and excitin'.” “Good thing they don't, you're always working. Nothing exciting would ever happen.” Applejack considered that for a moment. “If, just for once, you, or Pinkie, or Twilight came up to me and said, 'Hey Applejack, tomorrow I'm gonna get myself into some great big mess that might ruin the whole town, that okay by you?' I might just take the day off. None of y'all are that polite, though.” Dash grinned at her. “Hey Applejack, I'm gonna get myself into a mess tomorrow, and the only way to stop it is to keep me distracted all day.” “Nice try, sugarcube.” Applejack chuckled. “I'm totally blaming you when my double whirlwind destroys the town.” Dash giggled. Then she rolled over and wrapped her forelegs around AJ. “Really, I do need some help with it. It could be a real pain in the tail if it gets out of control.” “I ain't your foal-sitter, Dash,” Applejack said, ruffling the rainbow mane. “There ain't enough bits in Equestria to make me take that job.” “I don't need a foal-sitter, just somepony to shout directions at me.” Dash gave a charming smile. “Come on, do it for Ponyville.” Applejack sighed. “I just don't got time. I got chores to get done, and my little cousin is comin' to stay with us.” She raised her eyebrows and gave a hopeful smile. “Say, I gotta help Apple Bloom and her friends make a float for the parade, you wanna help us instead?” Dash rolled her eyes. “Paper mache a giant apple, or practice an awesome flying trick. Gee, tough one.” Applejack's face fell, and she pulled away from Dash's forelegs. “I'm just tryin' to save everypony a couple hundred bits of property damage from that awesome flyin' trick. And for your information, it's a pumpkin.” “A pumpkin?” Dash furrowed her brow and looked at AJ. “Who are you, and what have you done with Applejack?” That brought a smile to AJ's face. “We don't got enough red paint left, after the barn. So we're mixin' it with some yellow paint Pinkie had, and there's only so many orange crops we grow 'round here.” “Okay, but just this once,” Dash said, smiling and poking AJ with a hoof. “You can't make this pumpkin thing a habit. Pumpkinjack just sounds creepy.” “I'll keep ya' safe.” Applejack smirked. “Hey, I could totally take your evil twin. If I can take a couple of dozen evil Pinkies, one evil AJ should be a piece of cake.” “They weren't exactly evil Pinkies, Dash.” Applejack pointed out. “And if I recall, you were hidin' with Fluttershy while I was out herdin' them.” “I totally saved your flank,” Dash protested. AJ raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and how'd you do that?” “I found that Pinkie that you missed.” “That was more savin' Pinkie's flank than mine. And I think the family did a right good job, considerin' we ain't used to herdin' anythin' that bounces like that.” “You did better than with those bunnies a while ago.” Applejack narrowed her eyes at Dash. “We ain't talkin' 'bout that.” Dash giggled. “You're just lucky it wasn't me who copied myself. I woulda been all over Equestria before you could get your rope out.” “I dunno, I reckon I could wrangle a herd of you,” Applejack said, looking Dash up and down. “No way.” Dash gave a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Even if I wasn't faster than you-” “Which ya' ain't.” “Even if I wasn't faster than you, you know all the copies of me would be in the air.” Applejack smirked, and rolled onto her side, facing Dash. “I could do it. And I don't even need wings.” “I'd like to see you try!” “Simple, I'd just call up to y'all that whichever one is the most awesome gets a kiss.” Applejack slowly moved to lay on top of Dash, and smiled down at her. “Every last one of you would be on the ground in a second to claim it.” Dash looked up at AJ's half closed eyes, feeling their bodies pressed together. “. . .Okay, that's good.” “I know my girl.” “Hey, since there aren't a bunch of me, can I collect on that offer? I'm officially the most awesome Rainbow Dash in Equestria,” Dash suggested hopefully. “Well now, I guess ya' can.” Applejack leaned in and planted a long kiss on Rainbow Dash's lips. “Mmm.” Dash melted back into the hay, then grinned up at AJ. “I know how to wrangle a herd of Applejacks.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” Dash smirked. “I'd just tell 'em all I can last longer in the hay. They'd all run to prove me wrong.” Applejack chuckled and shook her head. “Dash, even if you could last longer than me in the hay-” “Which I totally can.” “Even if ya' could, you know darn well you can't last longer than a whole herd of me.” Dash wrapped her forelegs around AJ and pulled her close. “All of you would have to prove it.” “That'd kill you,” Applejack said, smiling and nuzzling Dash's cheek. “Maybe.” Dash smirked. “But of all the ways to go. . .”
Something to Do (The Crystal Empire)Rainbow Dash floated along on a cloud. There was nothing to do, so she was wasting time. She'd already practiced every trick she knew, set the skies according to the weather schedule, and checked with each of her friends to see if they were doing anything interesting. They weren't. Then she took a nap for a while, but now she was awake again. Dash picked a piece off of the cloud and rolled it between her hooves until it disappeared, leaving her hooves wet with rainwater. She dried her hooves on her mane, and poked at the cloud. It was getting thin, she kept doing that, picking it apart without thinking. Just last week she'd messed with a cloud until it couldn't hold her anymore, and she ended up falling through and landing in the park. That was the most exciting thing that had happened to her in the past month. She looked down over the edge of the cloud. This time she was over Sweet Apple Acres, and everything looked peaceful below. The foals were by their clubhouse, arguing about something; Mac was plowing a field of something, and AJ was carefully checking all of the trees for something. All perfectly normal somethings. It was the same all over Ponyville, like it had been since the wedding. Dash laid back and noticed that she'd picked off another piece of cloud to play with. She rolled her eyes and shoved the piece back into the cloud. She was going to have to go be bored someplace else, before she had another exciting tumble out of the sky. She took off and flew down to AJ, landing on the branch of the tree the cowpony was inspecting. “Heya!” AJ said, glancing up with a grin. Dash had to grin back. “Hey, how much longer do you have to work?” “Well now, I'm just about done, soon as I finish this row.” “Great! Let's do something.” Dash flew to the ground, walking next to AJ as she moved to the next tree. “Okay, what do ya wanna do? Horseshoes?” Dash rolled her eyes. “No way. Something exciting.” “We could go for a run.” Applejack smiled at her. “I'll race ya'.” Dash frowned, feeling a little guilty. Any other time, that would be cool. But any other time she would've been doing something awesome all day, not sitting on a cloud. “I said exciting. Come on, AJ, there has to be something.” “Like what? I mean, it's still light out and there's fillies runnin' around, we can't-” “Not exciting like that.” Dash considered it, and raised her eyebrows. “Though now that you mention it. . .” “No,” Applejack said flatly. “Okay. That wasn't what I was talking about anyway.” “So, what were ya' talkin' about, sugarcube?” Applejack stopped and leaned against a tree. “Nothing exciting ever happens around here anymore! When did we get so boring? It's like last week, when you weren't sure if I was mad at you for winning that race.” “What 'bout it?” “You just came and talked to me about it!” Dash said, exasperated. “You could've stomped around while I tried to figure out what was wrong.” Applejack looked confused. “But you don't like it when I do that.” “Yeah, but it would've been something to do! We could've had a fight about it or something.” “You. . . wanted to have a fight?” Applejack asked, her look changing from 'confused' to 'my marefriend is out of her mind.' “No!” Dash said quickly. She didn't want to have a fight with AJ. She thought she didn't at least. The idea actually gave her a little chill of fear up her spine, but it did sound exciting. “I just want something like a fight.” “If you're wantin' to have a fight, I think you're on the right track. I love ya, it hurts when we have a fight,” Applejack said, still looking at Dash like she was crazy. Dash couldn't blame her right now. “I know, AJ. I love you, too. I didn't mean we should have a fight.” Dash moved up next to her and gave her a nuzzle. “You just said you want somethin' like a fight.” Applejack huffed. “I know, but I don't really want that. I don't want to hurt you. I'm just. . . bored.” Applejack looked at her for a minute, and her face softened. “Okay, so we'll find somethin' you wanna do.” “Not just the same old stuff we always do though,” Dash warned. “Something totally different and exciting.” On cue, Pinkie popped out of nowhere right in front of Dash's face, causing her to jump backwards with a yell, to the snickering amusement of AJ. “There ya' go, different and excitin'.” “Are you kidding? This is totally boring for Pinkie.” Pinkie didn't seem to notice the conversation, “Guys! Guys! Guess what?” Dash sighed. “You made some cookies? You're having a party? One of the Cake twins did some baby thing?” “No, Twilight got a letter from Princess Celestia and now she has to go to Canterlot for a really big test that she never knew about!” Dash considered this news. She considered Twilight, and how Twilight usually reacted to stress. Applejack raised her eyebrows at Dash, seemingly thinking the same thing. “Well, Dash, we could go watch Twilight lose 'er mind.” “I'm so there!” Dash said, taking off ahead of her friends towards the library. She was probably taking more pleasure in Twilight's discomfort than was really nice, but a Twilight Sparkle freak out was quality entertainment. Besides, it was all over nothing, Dash knew Twilight never failed a test.
A Kick in the Heart (The Crystal Empire)Applejack sat with Rarity on the train ride home from the Crystal Empire, talking and laughing and trying to ignore the suspicious glare Fluttershy was shooting at them. Rarity assured AJ that she would explain everything to their friends later, but for right now, it was part of the plan. Applejack tried not to look at Fluttershy, and kept glancing over at Dash, who was just staring out the window glumly. AJ pretended to be interested in the cut, size, and clarity of shiny rocks for about twenty minutes before Rarity finally whispered, “That should do it. Now, go and talk to her. Mention how fabulous I looked, but don't say anything else. Be mysterious.” “Mysterious. Gotcha.” Applejack nodded, standing up. “I hope this works.” Applejack walked over and sat down next to Dash. She smiled and nuzzled her marefriend, and Dash gave a brief nuzzle back before returning her attention to the window. AJ cleared her throat. “Boy, Rarity sure looked pretty, all see through and stuff.” “Huh? Yeah, she looked hot.” “Did she now?” Applejack started to frown, then Rarity caught her eye, urging her on. “I mean, she sure did.” A silence settled over them. Dash seemed to be the only pony one the train who failed to notice Applejack flirting with Rarity. Except for maybe Twilight, who was in the middle of her third nervous breakdown in as many days. "She was a little down, ya' know, cause she couldn't stay all crystally. But talkin' to me seems to have cheered her right up." "That's cool." Applejack just looked at Dash, looking out the window, and muttered, "Least it works on somepony." This obviously hadn't worked. Flirting with Rarity was a last ditch effort to get a reaction out of Dash. Nothing had worked so far. From trying to be more open and publicly nuzzling her, to a very interesting evening with translucent bodies, nothing seemed to really hold Dash's interest. “What's wrong, sugarcube?” Applejack whispered, abandoning the dumb plan and trying what she knew should work, for the hundredth time. “Nothing. Everything's great. Equestria's safe, and I didn't even have to throw a punch.” “I thought I saw ya' throwin' a few at random ponies on the street.” “They didn't fight back, it doesn't count.” “You got to joust with Fluttershy, that's kinda like fightin'.” “AJ.” Dash turned from the window to look at her flatly. “Jousting with Fluttershy isn't like fighting. Fighting with Fluttershy isn't even like fighting.” “Not as much fun as fightin' with me, huh?” Applejack gave a small smirk. “I told you, I don't want to fight with you.” Dash sighed. “I just said that 'cause. . . I don't know why I said that. Just drop it, okay?” “Okay. But. . . what 'bout joustin' with me? That might be fun.” “Yeah,” Dash said, and a light seemed to go on in her eyes. “Yeah! That would be cool! But we don't have any of that stuff, lances or armor or anything.” Applejack grinned happier than she'd been in weeks, thanks to the change in the pegasus. “I'll have a word with Rarity, I bet she can whip us up some armor. And lances are just sticks, right? I got plenty of them.” “That sounds awesome. You really want to joust with me?” “Are you kiddin'?” She nudged Dash happily. “I wanted to, at the fair, but I never got a chance to figure out how. I was stuck doin' all the cookin' so Pinkie could learn to play the flugelhorn.” “That was a great idea.” Dash rolled her eyes. “I hope I never see another flugelhorn again.” “Ya' know she took one home.” “No way. I poked through her mane, twice. I threw away three of them. And a tray of berry muffins.” Dash wrinkled her nose. Applejack smirked. “Ya' know she took one home.” “Yeah. I know.” Dash laughed, and to AJ that would've made up for Pinkie having a dozen flugelhorns. Which she probably did, anyway. "So, let me teach you about this jousting stuff. . ." After a stop in Canterlot to assure Twilight that she was still the smartest pony in Equestria, the six ponies and a dragon returned home, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash revealed their plan. Rarity happily agreed to help, creating two suits of padded armor modeled after the Crystal Empire armor. Applejack’s rodeo practice ring was turned into an arena, and grand stands added after everypony in town expressed an interest in seeing the match. Two long poles were acquired, and pillows were tied to the ends at Fluttershy's insistence. By the next weekend, Applejack stared at Rainbow Dash on the other side of the practice ring, lance ready. The stands were packed with ponies, and Twilight and Fluttershy stood by for emergency medical assistance that AJ and Dash both assured them would not be needed. Across the ring, Dash smirked at AJ, and playfully pawed the ground a few times. Applejack grinned with narrowed eyes. As Applejack and Dash faced off, Pinkie blew the flugelhorn she had managed to smuggle home despite Dash's best efforts. Applejack leapt into action, charging at Dash as fast as she could. The crowd seemed to fall away, even though they were cheering loudly. She shifted her body, aiming the pillow tipped lance at the pegasus coming at her just as fast. For just an instant she could clearly see the look of determination on Dash's face. Then came the impact, like a buck to the chest, it pushed her to her hind legs. At the exact same time her own lance jerked in the holster, shoving her hard in the side and knocking her onto her back. The crowd gasped, and Twilight teleported to Applejack's side. “Are you okay?” she asked quickly, the concern obvious on her face. “Think so. Probably. Just gimme a minute.” Applejack panted. “What 'bout Dash?” “Ow! Stop touching that! I told you it doesn't hurt!” AJ heard from a few feet away. She tried to chuckle, but the jolt of pain made her stop. “Well, you didn't kill each other,” Twilight said dryly. “Course not. That was just the first pass.” Applejack gave a grin, which made Twilight smile back. “You're not really going again, are you?” “Well. . .” She sat up a little and glanced over at Dash. Dash looked to be in the same state Applejack was in. Fluttershy was standing over her and Dash was doing her best to shoo her friend away. Then Dash caught AJ's eye and grinned. “I'm goin' again,” Applejack said, willing herself to stand up. Dash was getting to her own hooves, though AJ could see that she had more than a few feathers out of place. “Coming back for more?” “You didn't think you could take me down with that lil' ol' poke, did ya'?” Applejack teased back. Dash smirked. “That's not what you said last-” “Dash!” Applejack blushed, they were surrounded by other ponies, including her family. But her heart was soaring. This was them again, it was right. She smirked. "Just cause you get lucky every now and again don't mean you're gonna win." "You're right. I'm gonna win 'cause I'm the best knight in Equestria!" "Well now, that makes sense, bein' as you ain't that bright." "Wha- hey, I meant knight, with a k. I should've known you can't spell it." "I. T. Now we gonna have a joust, or a spellin' bee?" Applejack was starting to laugh. Dash grinned. “Let's go!” “Ready and waitin'!” Applejack said, trotting to her spot with a smile. If that goofy pegasus needed to bash somepony dizzy every now and then to have fun, it was a good thing she had a marefriend who could bash her right back. Late that night, the two battered ponies lay in the barn on a pile of hay, recovering from their earlier combat. Both mares had pushed themselves more than they probably should have, and both were covered in bruises, sweat and dirt. After that first pass they had both missed a few, but more often they ended up sprawled in the dirt to the increasing worry of Twilight and Fluttershy. It had finally been called a draw when Twilight enlisted Big Macintosh to stand between the two knights, and neither had the strength to give him more than a feeble shove. Despite that, they'd both enjoyed the chance to show off their physical prowess in front of a crowd, and with Dash finally content that something cool had happened, Applejack couldn't have been happier. Dash was next to her, grinning, even if both of them could barely move. “Ow, hey!” AJ said, a hoof poking a sore spot on her side. “Sorry, just checking,” Dash said, giggling, until Applejack gave her wing a gentle push. “Owowow! Stop that!” Applejack chuckled. “How's that for checkin'? I can kinda see why ponies gave up on joustin'.” “But you have to admit, it was awesome. You looked so cool in that armor.” “You didn't look bad yourself.” Applejack wrapped a foreleg around Dash and stroked her mane. “Why can't every day be like this?” Dash sighed. “'Cause we'd kill each other,” Applejack pointed out. “Dash, what's goin' on? I know life's been kinda borin' lately, but it really seems to be eatin' you. We're a team, when you gotta problem, I gotta problem, but right now I don't even know what the problem is.” Dash thought for a minute, searching for the words. “I just feel like everything is. . . good.” “Good is good, ain't it?” Applejack asked, confused. “No. Good is boring. Why isn't it awesome and exciting? My life needs to be awesome and exciting.” “What about us?” “Huh?” “Are we good?” Applejack asked softly. Dash hesitated. “. . .Sometimes.” Then she snuggled close to AJ. “But sometimes we're totally cool, like today. That was amazing.” “It was awful fun.” Applejack said, happy to once again have a content pegasus snuggled in her forelegs. “I dunno how often I can be amazin' like that, Dash. I'm pretty beat up.” “I know. Besides, that would get boring after a while. I can't wait to figure out what we can do next!” Dash was nuzzling AJ's chest, so she didn't notice her ears fall, or the look of worry on her face. Of course there had to be something next. There would always have to be something next.
Raising Barns isn't for Everypony (Too Many Pinkie Pies)Dash sighed. The question of what to do today was decided for the moment. The answer turned out to be 'smack around clouds that didn't know how to stay in the stinking sky.' This was not her favorite answer, but it was better than just pushing them around at least. She gave the cloud a few sharp smacks with her tail. “You show that fog who's boss.” Dash looked up from the annoying patch of fog to see Applejack smirking at her. “Want me to show you next?” Dash said, smirking right back. “Only if ya' want your tail tied round an apple tree.” “No fair, flirting with me when I'm at work.” Dash grinned and flew over to AJ. “What's up?” Applejack nuzzled her. “I was just wonderin', do ya have any plans for the afternoon?” “Nope!” Dash's eyes lit up at the idea of possible excitement. “Why? Wanna do something fun?” “Well, I sure do. We're havin' a barn raisin'!” Applejack said, proudly. Dash was actually caught off guard for a moment. She knew a barn raising usually came with a party, but something about the idea was unsettling. Never one to question why she was feeling any given thing, Dash just stared at AJ, arching an eyebrow. “Barn raising?” “Yup!” Applejack went on, not seeming to notice Dash's lack of enthusiasm. “We're askin' anypony who wants to come to help out!” “Um, no thanks. I have plans.” Applejack's face fell. “You just said you weren't doin' nothin'!” “My plans changed.” Dash shrugged. “Now I'm not doing anything that involves building a barn.” “You sure you don't wanna come?” AJ asked hopefully. “You've never raised a barn before, it'd be somethin' different.” Dash cringed a little, she hated to disappoint AJ. But she did not want to raise a barn, so she latched on to an excuse. “I'm not dumb, this is totally one of those things where you tell me how much fun something'll be to trick me into working!” “Well, I ain't sayin' there's no work to be done-” “Ha! Told ya!” Dash smirked. “But everypony's gonna be workin' together, and in the end we can all have a bite to eat and feel proud of what we did.” Applejack finished with a smile. Dash frowned. It did sound nice. “Can I come for the dinner and feeling proud part?” “Not if ya' ain't gonna help,” Applejack said dryly. “You know I'd totally help, but. . .” Dash glanced around and caught sight of the fog. “I have to work all morning. I just wanna relax after that.” Applejack nodded, definitely seeming disappointed now. “Well then, that's just fine. I just thought ya' like to try somethin' new and fun. I mean, I'd never say ya' don't work hard at stuff, and ya' help me out all the time, but I don't think I've ever seen ya' build somethin', somethin' that lasts and you can look at years from now.” Dash blinked. “I- I haven't.” “Don't ya' wanna give it a shot?” “Nah,” Dash said automatically, wondering why AJ's speech left this nagging feeling in the back of her mind. She shoved it aside and smirked at AJ. “But, if you've got a new barn, maybe I could come over tonight and we could break it in.” Applejack's face melted into a smirk. “I see how it is. You don't wanna help build a barn, but you sure wanna use it. You sure that ain't gonna be too much work for ya'?” “Try me!” “I'll just haveta do that tonight. I gotta go haul some apples now, sugarcube. You stay outta trouble!” As AJ left, Dash returned to the fog, wondering what was wrong with her. She's just disappointed AJ and turned down a probably fun new thing to do. But it just wasn't her kind of new thing. She liked moving fast and danger and excitement. Building a big, solid barn that would be there forever. . . that was the sort of thing AJ did. AJ could have fun too, of course. Dash loved it when AJ had fun with her. But when it came to making stuff that lasted. . . that was totally AJ's department. Dash went back to attacking the fog with her tail, trying to think of something to do after work, since AJ was going to be busy.
How to Herd Wild Ponies (Too Many Pinkie Pies)As the sun went down, Rainbow Dash and Applejack returned to the newly built barn. It still smelled of sawed timber and paint, but it was well built and solid. Like AJ herself, but a lot less sexy, in Dash's opinion. Applejack flopped down on the freshly laid straw in the corner, and Dash grinned and landed next to her. Applejack just looked at her and smirked. “So, did ya' have a nice time relaxin' today?” Dash shot her a look, before flopping heavily onto the straw. “Well, you're the one that's been lookin' for more excitement,” Applejack pointed out with the same smirk. “Yeah, but a whole herd of Pinkie Pies. . . she could've at least waited 'til my day off!” “Ya' know, Dash, I don't think anypony's ever bothered to check my plans before they went and did somethin' foolish and excitin'.” “Good thing they don't, you're always working. Nothing exciting would ever happen.” Applejack considered that for a moment. “If, just for once, you, or Pinkie, or Twilight came up to me and said, 'Hey Applejack, tomorrow I'm gonna get myself into some great big mess that might ruin the whole town, that okay by you?' I might just take the day off. None of y'all are that polite, though.” Dash grinned at her. “Hey Applejack, I'm gonna get myself into a mess tomorrow, and the only way to stop it is to keep me distracted all day.” “Nice try, sugarcube.” Applejack chuckled. “I'm totally blaming you when my double whirlwind destroys the town.” Dash giggled. Then she rolled over and wrapped her forelegs around AJ. “Really, I do need some help with it. It could be a real pain in the tail if it gets out of control.” “I ain't your foal-sitter, Dash,” Applejack said, ruffling the rainbow mane. “There ain't enough bits in Equestria to make me take that job.” “I don't need a foal-sitter, just somepony to shout directions at me.” Dash gave a charming smile. “Come on, do it for Ponyville.” Applejack sighed. “I just don't got time. I got chores to get done, and my little cousin is comin' to stay with us.” She raised her eyebrows and gave a hopeful smile. “Say, I gotta help Apple Bloom and her friends make a float for the parade, you wanna help us instead?” Dash rolled her eyes. “Paper mache a giant apple, or practice an awesome flying trick. Gee, tough one.” Applejack's face fell, and she pulled away from Dash's forelegs. “I'm just tryin' to save everypony a couple hundred bits of property damage from that awesome flyin' trick. And for your information, it's a pumpkin.” “A pumpkin?” Dash furrowed her brow and looked at AJ. “Who are you, and what have you done with Applejack?” That brought a smile to AJ's face. “We don't got enough red paint left, after the barn. So we're mixin' it with some yellow paint Pinkie had, and there's only so many orange crops we grow 'round here.” “Okay, but just this once,” Dash said, smiling and poking AJ with a hoof. “You can't make this pumpkin thing a habit. Pumpkinjack just sounds creepy.” “I'll keep ya' safe.” Applejack smirked. “Hey, I could totally take your evil twin. If I can take a couple of dozen evil Pinkies, one evil AJ should be a piece of cake.” “They weren't exactly evil Pinkies, Dash.” Applejack pointed out. “And if I recall, you were hidin' with Fluttershy while I was out herdin' them.” “I totally saved your flank,” Dash protested. AJ raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, and how'd you do that?” “I found that Pinkie that you missed.” “That was more savin' Pinkie's flank than mine. And I think the family did a right good job, considerin' we ain't used to herdin' anythin' that bounces like that.” “You did better than with those bunnies a while ago.” Applejack narrowed her eyes at Dash. “We ain't talkin' 'bout that.” Dash giggled. “You're just lucky it wasn't me who copied myself. I woulda been all over Equestria before you could get your rope out.” “I dunno, I reckon I could wrangle a herd of you,” Applejack said, looking Dash up and down. “No way.” Dash gave a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Even if I wasn't faster than you-” “Which ya' ain't.” “Even if I wasn't faster than you, you know all the copies of me would be in the air.” Applejack smirked, and rolled onto her side, facing Dash. “I could do it. And I don't even need wings.” “I'd like to see you try!” “Simple, I'd just call up to y'all that whichever one is the most awesome gets a kiss.” Applejack slowly moved to lay on top of Dash, and smiled down at her. “Every last one of you would be on the ground in a second to claim it.” Dash looked up at AJ's half closed eyes, feeling their bodies pressed together. “. . .Okay, that's good.” “I know my girl.” “Hey, since there aren't a bunch of me, can I collect on that offer? I'm officially the most awesome Rainbow Dash in Equestria,” Dash suggested hopefully. “Well now, I guess ya' can.” Applejack leaned in and planted a long kiss on Rainbow Dash's lips. “Mmm.” Dash melted back into the hay, then grinned up at AJ. “I know how to wrangle a herd of Applejacks.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.” Dash smirked. “I'd just tell 'em all I can last longer in the hay. They'd all run to prove me wrong.” Applejack chuckled and shook her head. “Dash, even if you could last longer than me in the hay-” “Which I totally can.” “Even if ya' could, you know darn well you can't last longer than a whole herd of me.” Dash wrapped her forelegs around AJ and pulled her close. “All of you would have to prove it.” “That'd kill you,” Applejack said, smiling and nuzzling Dash's cheek. “Maybe.” Dash smirked. “But of all the ways to go. . .”
