Anon Gets Cuddled

by Burt

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Gilda, Profanity, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1312

Don’t worry guys, it’s consensual

Anon is a macho manly man. He’s tough and resilient, coarse and rough. He takes no crap from anything or anyone. He is a strong independent green bean. He slays poon like no tomorrow.

He also has a griffin girlfriend. He likes it when she gives him cuddles.

Published 2020-10-16 18:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-16 18:40:01 UTC

Sometimes, all a Homie Needs is a Hug

“I love you, bitch!” Oh look, Gilda’s daily alarm for the past ten months has returned!

She sighed, before leaning out of her bedroom window, already unamused by the shenanigans of the local human and her boyfriend. He stood outside on her lawn, swaying his hips to some instrumental ukulele performed by Spike; who neither knew how to play the ukulele, nor why he was there in the first place.

Anon did some weird human dance she’s seen once before—she believes he called it the ‘neigh neigh’?—before pointing at her.

“I ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch!” He gave a few hip thrusts.

Oh Anon, truly a hopeless romantic.

“Anon. Can I go home now?” The Drake was just lazily plucking and strumming random strings, clearly not invested in the human’s soulful performance.

“But I need you to play that funky music, white boy!” He didn’t stop his dance moves, even attempting a moonwalk, which didn’t bode well considering he was on grass. He proceeded to trip and eat dirt.

“Ow.” He rubbed his nose.

“I’m just gonna leave. The bits aren’t worth it.” Spike turned around.

Anon shouted, “Alright! Alright, here.” Before he stood up, cracked his back, and dived a hand into one of his pockets. After a few moments of searching, he pulled out a single gold coin. “Here!” He flipped it at Spike, who caught it. “Keep the change.”

Spike looked at the coin and deadpanned. “...is this an arcade token?”

The human nodded, giving him a warm smile and a thumbs up. “Don’t spend it all in one place!”

Spike took a brief moment to silently stare at Anon. “You... do know this has expired, right?” Anon shrugged.

“That just makes it a collectors item, people pay big bucks for those!” He gave the dragon his patented finger guns. Spike’s eyes glazed over.

“Ok. Sure, whatever. I’m leaving. There’s a toaster and body of water calling my name...” He wandered off.

“Bah!” Anon threw his hand up in the air, “Kids these days. No respect for the fine arts.”

“Anon. Can you please get off my lawn and come inside? I don’t want people to get the wrong idea.”

“Oh I’ll come inside alright...” He mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, sweetheart! Stay right there, I’m on my way!”

“Uh huh.”

The sound of him fiddling with her front door reached her ears.

“Honey. Your door won’t open.”

“Mhmm. That’s what locks do Anon, they keep doors from opening. Doofus.” She propped a claw up so she could lean on it.

“...Can you unlock it, sweetums?”

“You told me to stay right here.”

“...Please?” He gave her puppy dog eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that. It freaks me out.” He stared harder. “Ugh, fine. I’m coming downstairs “

She left the window, missing Anon’s fist pump.

After a brief moment—well, after Gilda took off all the locks on her door—Anon saw the door swing open, revealing his avian main-squeeze.

“Hey baby~ Are you the one who ordered the meat lovers pizza, extra sausage?~”

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Just get inside, dumbass.” She grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him in. Locking the door behind him.

“So aggressive today.”

“Uh huh.” She wondered over to her living room before sinking into her couch. Anon stood on the threshold that met the two rooms.

“Is it that time of the month?”

“Anon. Love and hate is a very thin line. You’re almost over that line.”

“I get to cross the finish line?! I never win any races!”

Gilda face palmed. “Why do I even have sex with you?” She mumbled.

Anon threw his arms out in a ‘look at me’ gesture.

“Because I’m hot as fuck?” She stared at him. “...uh. Because I’m funny?” She didn’t say anything. He started to sweat. “Eh, heh.” He coughed, letting his arms fall to his side. “...Because we love each other very much, and it’s a healthy aspect of our relationship?”

She just shook her head.

“...You’re so lucky I love you, or you’d have a restraining order right now.”

Anon quirked a brow. “Restrain? Since when has anything been able to restrain me?”

“Well, you certainly lack restraint that’s for sure...” She mumbled.

“What was that?” Anon furrowed his brow.

“Nothing. You goober.”

The room fell into a comfortable silence, at least for Gilda; who simply sat there and relaxed. Anon seemed impatient.

“...Well?” He crossed his arms.

“Well, what?” She looked to him, uninterested. He scowled softly. “Aren't you gonna talk to me about my day? It was a long day. A long day involving lots of heavy lifting and masculinity—oh, and saving the day.” She simply blinked.

“Anon. I just woke up, the day just started.”

Anon looked to her clock, which sat above her on the wall. “But it’s four in the afternoon.” She looked above at the clock. She shrugged. “Huh. I guess it is.”

“Gilda.” He deflated.

Gilda just rolled her eyes before stretching out on the couch. “Just come here then. Tell me about your day, you goof.”

“...You just took up the whole couch though. Where will I sit?” Gilda face palmed.

“On me. Preferably with your face in my chest plumage.”

He blinked.

“It’ll be kinda hard to focus if we’re fuck-“

“Anon. I’m inviting you to cuddle, you moron.” She shook her head.

“Oh. I knew that!”

“Uh huh. Sure, Mr bean stalk.”

“Hey! I’ve been hitting the gym recently. I’ll have you know that soon enough, I’ll be able to put you in a full Nelson.”

“Don’t say that. The thought of that deeply disturbs me.”

“I think it’s hot.”

“Can you get over here before I toss you through the damn window?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Anon strolled over to his hubby, before taking position on top of her.

“I’ve manned the battle station, ma’am.” His voice was only slightly muffled by her chest. Gilda rolled her eyes before letting a smile cross her beak.

“Go on, no more time wasting. Tell me about your day.” She said with a hint of softness. Taking one of his hands into her claw.

“Well...”

Anon proceeded to tell Gilda about his day, with him going into excruciating detail over even the most mundane parts of his day. She simply followed along, nodding and replying whenever necessary. Gilda might even say he was padding out his descriptions just to spend more time with her, though she found that idea silly and just chalked it up to his eccentric nature.

Anon had adjusted himself at some point so that his ear was against her chest.

“—And then Spike and I did our musical number for you! What’d you think of it by the way?” Gilda smiled warmly.

“I liked it a lot Anon. Thank you.” She preened his hair. He gave her claw a squeeze.

“I try.” He mumbled.

“I know.”

Anon pulled his head out of her feathers and just smiled up at her. Gilda smiled back, her chest a little warm. Due to Anon of course; just not because he was on top of her.

She chuckled.

They adjusted each other. Anon gave her a peck on the cheek.

“Wanna have a nap?” Gilda just shrugged.

“Sure. I think I’d like that.”

Anon laughed. “Lazy bird.”

“You’re the one who asked!”

He pulled himself back into her feathers.

“Yeah.” He sighed.

“I Love you. You lazy bird.” She rolled her eyes before smiling again and wrapping her arms around him.

“Yeah. I love you too. You big goof.”

And then they snuggled for a few more hours.

Author's Note

No loving griffon gf, why even live?

(I meant to post this yesterday. I just forgot to, because I’m a dummy. Please forgive my failure)

Also, wholesome content? On my profile? 🤢