28 Days To Armageddon

It turned out that the sergeant and Lamp Shade had quite a history together. In fact, it was so deep that it took them all night just to get through it. One of them would begin the story, and then the other would cut in, leading to an endless stream of arguments. What was worse, they constantly contradicted each other, making the story very hard to follow. But they did share some common elements, so the listening ponies were able to piece things together. It was a difficult task, but they’d been investigating one of the worst crimes in Equestrian history for over a week. Solving a simple story would be a cinch compared to Twilight’s Lycantropy.

From what they could gather, the sergeant and Lamp Shade had met on a dark night when the officer had paid a visit to the town. He was just a newbie at the time, and Transylmaneia was a frightening place. Lamp was one of the many prostitutes that had accosted him, offering their sexual services for a price. Most of them were very hard to avoid, but Lamp had struck him with her beauty and her intelligence. Frankly, he was shocked that such a smart and bedazzling pony worked in such a dirty trade. But all the same, he couldn’t resist her. Something primal awoke within his being. She was offering some very good prices and, seeing as how he’d never done it before, he agreed to be her bedmate for the evening.

They made love all night long, with Lamp pushing and pushing for more. Luckily, the officer had paid up front, so everything went fine. That is, until the Transylmaneia officers broke in. Prostitution was legal in the town, but an officer of the law engaging in such activities was not. So, while Lamp Shade was free to continue slinking about town, the officer was punished severely. He was fired, made into a criminal, and thrown into the Ponyville Penitentiary for a year. When he got out, he was a changed stallion. He reapplied for a job in Ponyville, and got denied multiple times. But, when a robbery occurred and the chips were down, the sergeant stopped the evildoer. With great cheering, he was welcomed back to the force. He met his wife, fell in love, had a family, and rose through the ranks to become what he was.

The next morning, after getting barely any sleep, the ponies awoke in a groggy state. They stumbled down the stairs and into the hotel lobby where breakfast was waiting. In contrast to the dark nature of the town, the feast was rather marvelous. Eggs, hay cakes, toast, hot cinnamon rolls, and freshly squeezed orange juice awaited them. They dove in and devoured the delicious food, savoring each morsel as if it would be their last. For the first time since arriving in Transylmaneia, everypony felt as vigorous as they had back in Ponyville. Life seemed to be their oyster, and they felt that, soon, they would catch the perpetrator who’d infected their dear Twilight.

But then, suddenly, the doors opened and somepony burst in shrieking. They recognized her as one of the prostitutes from the night before. “HELP! HELP, SOMEPONY!” She cried with tears in her eyes, “THERE’S A WEREPONY ATTACKING THE TOWN!”

“A werepony?!” The sergeant asked, leaping from the table, “but those creatures only exist at night!”

“I don’t know, but there’s some great monster destroying our homes! Please, help us!”

The ponies instantly jumped up and raced out the door, leaving some of their breakfasts half eaten. Once outside, they were able to gauge the situation. Ponies ran this way and that, screaming their heads off. Plastic bats, skulls, and other novelty items flew in a hundred directions. “Blood” made out of ketchup and corn syrup flooded the streets as the crates containing it were knocked over. To top it all off, a thunderous roar shook the land, causing some smaller structures to shake and collapse.

“What the hell?!” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Keep calm!” The sergeant barked, “we mustn’t show it fear! Let us be brave, my fellow ponies!”

“Speak for yourself!” Fluttershy cried as she pointed towards a corner.

A dark shadow crept its way around the buildings before revealing its owner: a huge, slobbering, slovenly werepony. This one was brown, with claws that could kill three ponies in a single swipe. Its eyes were red and its mane looked as if it were made out of fire. Jagged teeth glinted maliciously in the early morning sunlight, bearing down on those who were too slow to get out of its way. As the ponies watched, two citizens were mercilessly devoured. Their cries and pleas for help were horrifying to hear, but nothing could be done. By that point, they were too high up and had already begun being feasted upon.

“Celestia help us all…” Rarity gulped.

“Ponies, quick!” The sergeant yelled, “we must stop the beast!”

“Just HOW do you plan on doing that?!” Pinkie screamed.

“By outrunning it,” The sergeant said, “quick, everypony who can run fast, act as a decoy. We must lure the beast away from the citizens!”

The investigative team quickly shifted into a rescue operation. They left Fluttershy and Rarity to help herd the townsponies the other way while Mist, the sergeant, Rainbow, Pinkie, Stethoscope, and a couple other Ponyville officers led the beast on a wild goose chase. The sergeant knew the boundaries of the town fairly well, and he knew of a very tall water tower on the east side. He and his group led the foul creature away from the buildings and homes of Transylmaneia. Then, when they got to the tower, the officers and Stethoscope used their unicorn magic to topple it. The structure crashed down upon the animal, ending its existence forever. It was a bittersweet moment, for it was impossible to rescue the pony trapped inside the werepony.

“Alright,” the sergeant said, “excellent work, everypony.”

“But…we didn’t save whoever was in there,” Pinkie pointed out.

“We can’t save everyone,” the sergeant said.

“We could at least try!” Pinkie argued.

“It’s impossible!” The sergeant growled, “whoever was in this werepony was better off dead anyway!”

Pinkie’s mouth fell open. “How DARE YOU?! This was a life that could have continued, but we had to topple a damn water tower on it! There had to have been some other way!”

“If there was, why didn’t you say anything?!”

“Because I trust you, sergeant!” Pinkie exclaimed, “you make all the right decisions, and you look out for your friends and your fellow pony! At least, I thought so. But maybe…maybe I was just lying to myself…”