To Converse In Prose

by Angel Midnight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Discord, Zecora, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1148

Discord, Zecora, an exchange of words, That to all ponies is heard, Exclusively in perfect rhyme, And what can go wrong this time?!

Discord, Zecora, an exchange of words,
That to all ponies is heard,
Exclusively in perfect rhyme,
And what can go wrong this time?!

To those of you who don't speak in rhyming couplets, Discord and Zecora have a rhyming conversation. The only problem is that nopony else has a clue what they are talking about and they all have better things to do. Don't ask how this popped into my head, it just did. Random tag has been annihilated.

The user Hugmir has made an audiobook on Youtube! Find it here.

Published 2020-10-21 06:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-21 06:30:01 UTC

Poetry Is Not For Me

The Mane Six were gathered outside Zecora's ramshackle hut in the Everfree Forest and about to knock on the door. A few residents of Ponyville, including Mayor Mare, had caught a rare illness, and while it was not life-threatening, if left untreated it could leave them with blue and purple spots all over their coats for months, which was extremely unpleasant as the spots were also itchy. Rarity had nearly fainted at the sight of the unlucky ponies who had caught the bug. Thankfully, Zecora knew the remedy, and the six ponies were there to collect it.

However, as they knocked on the door, they heard a familiar but not exactly heartwarming POP! It signalled the arrival of a distinctive half loveable, half annoying and half despicable draconequus whom Twilight in particular held a little grudge against, even though she, the Princess of Friendship would never admit to such a thing.

"Ugh, Discord," Twilight sighed, not even looking at him. "For the love of Celestia, please would you leave us-"

The door opened, and Zecora smiled at the group. "Why this is an unusual sight, but come in please, if you might."

"Alone." Twilight sighed, already expecting the worst to happen. She had tried to grow tolerant of Discord's antics, but he was so unpredictable that it scared her slightly whenever he chose to intervene in her life. This had been startingly frequent recently, for some unknown reason.

The entire group somehow fitted into the circular cottage, although Discord had to shrink himself a little in order to make enough room.

"Why hello, dear zebra, may I ask who, in this great big wide old world are you?" Discord asked. He clicked his talons and a small globe appeared, with a big question mark etched into the side of it. He spun it on one claw, earning an "Oooh!" from Pinkie Pie.

"My name is Zecora, humble yet wise. My friends call me a hero in disguise." She nodded to the Mane Six. "Now who are you, I must ask? For me, guessing names is quite a task."

"I am Discord, the unruly Spirit of Chaos, although this lot within me have installed some ethos. If I am for once correct, us lot are here to collect a brew of iris and timber wolf tear for the sick members of our village sincere. Oh friends, am I right? Are we here to end the plight of those with the bright blue spots and others with the purple dots?"

"Umm..." said Twilight. "I guess?"

"Then 'tis a yes," Discord answered to Zecora.

"Discord, it is nice to meet you. Now to find the remedial brew that cures boils of purple and blue."

"'Tis here."

"Is that true?"

"Yes indeedy."

"You are speedy. You also have a natural talent for rhyme. Nopony I've met has matched it for some time."

"Shoot, we're definitely going to be here for a while," huffed Rainbow Dash. She reached inside Discord's fur, pulled out a Daring Do novel and began to read while hovering above the crowd. Twilight stared at her, then guessed that Discord had either put the book there for Rainbow earlier or he could make objects appear in that admittedly very thick fur whenever he pleased.

"I much prefer prose to plain old sentences, but let me ask: is there are rhyme to orange?"

"There is!" Zecora finished with a giggle. "Every single thing has a reason and rhyme if you listen hard for a long enough time. Chaos dislikes this, but it is true; there's even a rhyme and reason to you."

"Is there really? I can't say I knew that was such. Enlighten me please, Zecora the Wise - if you think you know so much," Discord answered cockily.

"Um, guys?" Twilight asked. "Don't we have stuff to do? Like taking the potion back to Ponyville?"

Discord and Zecora ignored her. The zebra said to Discord, "Well, if you say so, arrogant beast. It is fun upon which you feast, not unlike ponies many, but of your limits there aren't any. There's little else to you and your behaviour, save dreams of grandeur and being a saviour."

"Pfft, you've summed me up so well. Finding a pony like you is swell. However, I've noticed, and now I grieve, for it is time for us to leave." His own face turned into that of a clock and his horns became bells that began to ring very loudly, so that everypony had to cover their ears.

"Do you think we can go now, Discord?!" Twilight asked sarcastically once Discord's head was back to normal - if it could be called normal. The rest of the Mane Six looked on with grumpy faces.

"Why Twilight, you are being so mean! Quite unlike yourself, it seems. But since we make a perfect team and I behave now - can I stay? Pleeeeeeeeassssssssse?" His eyelashes grew to three times their normal length and he blinked a few times.

"Ugh, ok then. Just this one time. Let's go, girls, I'm getting fed up of rhyme."

"But you just made a rhyming couplet! Oh my!" Rarity cried. "Discord, what have you done to her?"

"Nothing! She rhymed on her own, but it's nice not to be alone. Oh Zecora, do you agree that rhyming makes you feel more free?"

"It does, but I think 'tis only when somepony will rhyme with thee."

"Anywhoo," Twilight interrupted, "we could use that potion any time now."

Discord handed it to her. "Take it then, if that is such."

"Thank you very... I mean, thanks a lot." She passed it to Rarity and a magenta beam of light shot out from her horn. The six friends disappeared, leaving Zecora alone with Discord.

Three days later, once everypony has been cured of the ailment that gifted them with purple spots, Zecora came to Ponyville to stock up on potion supplies. Twilight trotted over to see her, and asked how her day with Discord was.

"Uneventful, but I must say, he likes to do things his way. He became a tree with perfect timing when he asked me to stop rhyming."

Twilight shook her head and smiled. Discord just did whatever he could to annoy other ponies, but hopefully turning into a tree would reach him a lesson.

"It won't, I promise," said Discord.

Author's Note

Chaos magic allows sounds to have colours, and grants the ability for three halves to be made into a whole.

I would like to apologise to my loyal followers for not publishing anything in a while. I have been suffering from lack of ideas and obsessively chewing quills as if that would help. Just want to know: would you rather a new chapter of The Bat Ponies Annoy Princess Luna or Sombra's Bat before Halloween? Comments please!