The Life and Times of the Equestrian Dragon

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After their dinner with Spike, Pinkie invited the other girls back to her apartment to cram for their midterm exams... which turned into a late night session of pedicures, face masks, and talking about boys.

Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity didn’t really have anything that defined them. They all played instruments in a band, but they weren’t “band geeks”; almost all of them played some kind of sport, but they weren’t really athletes; and most of them got good grades, but they weren’t “nerds”. All they really had in common was that they liked each other and enjoyed each other’s company. They had fun together even in the midst of studying... and it was nice to relax for a while with familiar friends.

At the moment, Rainbow Dash was trying to study while Applejack did bicep curls, Rarity and Fluttershy played Scrabble®, and Pinkie painted Sunset Shimmer’s toenails while they listened to the radio.

“That was The Legend of the Steel Driving Man, and you’ve been listening to Beneath the Beats with Vinyl Scratch on NCAB, the voice of New Canterlot University,” the female disc jockey crooned. “That wraps up another night. So until tomorrow night at 6:00 p.m. when NCAB comes back on the air, this is DJ-Pon3 signing off.”

“G-R-I-F-F-O-N,” Rarity said as she placed her tiles on the board. “Fourteen points.”

“What’s a griffon?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s a mythical creature with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion,” Rainbow Dash answered, not looking up from her textbooks.

“What, it couldn’t make up its mind?” Sunset joked.

“Ba-dum-bum,” Pinkie said, imitating a rim shot.

“‘Oxidize. Verb, meaning ‘to combine with oxygen,’ O-X-I-D-I-Z-E, oxidize,” Fluttershy said. “Twenty-four points plus triple word score plus 50 points for using all of my letters.”

Sunset totaled up the score. That last play was worth 122 points, which meant she won.

Rarity heaved a heavy sigh. She hadn’t really wanted to play, anyway. She was more interested in why Rainbow Dash was the only one studying while the rest of them were having fun. On the other hand, it was good to see Dash finally taking an interest in her schoolwork... even if she did tend to gripe about it.

“What are you doing?” Rarity asked.

“Trying to write my paper for Philosophy class,” she answered.

“Looks to me like you’re copying out of those books,” said Sunset.

“I changed a few words here and there,” Dash replied.

“That’s plagiarism,” Sunset stated.

“Copying out of one book is plagiarism,” Dash countered. “Copying out of several books, that’s research.”

“Ya’re only cheating yerself, ya know,” Applejack put in.

“As Shining Armor’s sister used to say, ‘the value of an education is in the learning,’” Rainbow Dash replied mockingly. “And I am learning plenty.”

“Yeah, how to lie,” Applejack replied.

“Cheat,” Sunset added.

“Steal,” Pinkie jumped in. “Wait, what are we talking about again?”

“Hey! Everybody cuts a few corners, bends a few rules now and again: politicians, businessmen, even Spike,” Dash told them. “When you break the rules, like copying someone’s test answers, that’s cheating.”

“Exactly. We have had this conversation before,” Rarity stated. “You do realize that if you fail, you won’t graduate with the rest of us, right?”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “But what if... I’m not that smart?”

“Hey! Who was the one who found the class pet in first grade after we’d all given up?” Pinkie asked. “And who figured out how much cake the average woman could eat without puking? And videotaped it for a science project that got a solid eighty percent!”

“You?” Dash asked.

“No! I may have helped you with that last one, but that was all you, Dashy!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Just because you’re athletic doesn’t mean you’re not smart,” she went on. “You can do anything you put your mind to.”

“And besides, how are you ever gonna pass if you keep dozing off in class?” Sunset Shimmer asked her.

“Philosophy, how can you stay awake?” Rainbow Dash replied then she burped.

Rarity sighed. “Why do we always have to go through this every time we come here?”

“That’s easy: if we stayed where we were, we won’t be where we are,” Pinkie replied. “And consequently, if we aren’t where we are, then where are we?”

“You just need to manage your time a little better,” Sunset said. “We all have something we can work on. If we agree to help you get back on track, do you promise to study?”

“You’d do that for me?” Dash asked.

“Yes,” Applejack, Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie and Rarity all said.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Dash promised.

Now it was Fluttershy’s turn to sigh. “I wonder what Spike’s doing right now,” she said.

This time, all six girls sighed. It had been only a few hours since they were with him... and he all but threw them out because he believed that they had insulted his house staff. It was his first time inviting someone into his home in a long time—he really tried to make an effort at his relationships with them—but they still felt bad.

They all had some kind of adoration, or infatuation, with him.

Rainbow Dash had a crush on Spike since the day Fluttershy’s brother, Zephyr Breeze, said that Dash’s bathing suit made her butt look fat. Spike overheard him, and pushed him into the pool, and Dash had liked Spike ever since.

“Too bad you don’t like climbing trees,” Dash replied.

“What does climbing trees have to do with--” Rarity gasped. “Are you serious? Why didn’t I think of that?”

“You’re actually into it?” Dash asked.

“Are you kidding? I have the perfect spy-on-Spike outfit!”

.

Meanwhile, inside the New Canterlot City Police Department, Officer Silver Sable was having another argument with Chief of Police Chocolate Ganache and Ad Vice Captain Shining Armor--not what Shining Armor needed at the end of a long day, which was quickly turning into the start of a longer night.

“We didn’t authorize this statement, Sergeant,” Shining Armor said about the Gazette’s latest headline.

“Come on, Captain,” Sergeant Spearhead replied. “Somebody asked us a few questions; we gave them a few answers.”

“You gave them without approval!” the round-faced Chief of Police shouted. “If you had kept your damn mouths shut, the Dragon wouldn’t know we’re moving AGAINST him!”

Even through all the shouting, Chief Ganache had a conceited look of authority.

“I’ll find him,” Silver Sable said. “I just need a little extra help, sir.”

“What kind of help?” the Chief inquired.

He already knew what Sable wanted: she wanted her own squad for the sole purpose of throwing a net over the vigilante... but Chief Ganache had already denied her “request”.

“Nobody is taking a strike force onto my streets,” he had said.

“The Dragon is bad for the morale of the force, sir,” Silver Sable stated. “And we’ve got to stop it once and for all!”

Silver Sable cast a dark shadow. Not madness, exactly... but definitely obsession.

“And I might suggest the opposite, Officer Sable,” Captain Armor said. “This ‘Dragon’ is actually good for morale. It doesn’t hurt, for some of the men, at least, to know we’re not out there on the street alone.”

“And real cops should not have their pride stripped away and have their noses rubbed in by some vigilante who’s twice the criminal as the scum he’s stealing from us!” she shouted.

“‘Stealing’ from us--?”

“You know what I mean, Captain,”

“Actually, I don’t, Officer Sable,” Shining Armor replied. “Now, if you all will excuse me, I’m late... for a T.V. appearance, of all things.”

.

Later that night, under a starry, black sky, the girls headed back to Pendragon Castle.

Their bicycles skidded to a halt outside the large iron gates.

“Ya know, trespassin’ is against the law too,” Applejack said.

Ignoring her words, Pinkie Pie crawled underneath the gates while Rainbow Dash and the other girls quickly climbed over them. Then they shimmied over the shrubs and crept stealthily across the grass toward the old, spooky-looking Pendragon Castle. They figured the odds of Spike seeing them were slim, but they were sure the foliage from the trees and shrubs in his yard, combined with the darkness of the night, adequately concealed them. They were not at all worried he might see them.

Applejack followed the other girls as they sneaked around, ducked behind a thick evergreen, then climbed up the tree, carefully choosing branches as they went up. Then they climbed around the trunk of a much larger tree that split to form a V-shape, grabbed hold of the larger tree and hopped over. Fluttershy and Rarity sat in the V of the trunk while Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie straddled a long bough, and gazed through the branches at the fourth-story windows of the Castle from their high perch.

Rarity peered through a pair of binoculars when a loud crunch caught her attention and she glared at Pinkie Pie, who apologized.

“Sorry. Carrot,” she said.

“Why are you eating a carrot?” Rarity asked.

“Vitamin A. It helps you see in the dark,” Pinkie explained.

“Well, try to crunch quietly,” Rarity said. “We don’t want anyone to know we’re here.”

Pinkie nodded... then pulled some kind of contraption out of her hair.

“What is that?” Sunset Shimmer inquired.

“It’s an infrared scope,” Rainbow Dash said. “Snipers use it for night-vision.”

“Très convenient,” said Rarity.

“What is Pinkie doing with it?” Sunset asked. “And what are we going to do with it?”

“We shouldn’t be doin’ this,” Applejack said.

“What are you, a ‘fraidy-cat?” Dash asked.

“No. We just believe that you all have gone off the deep end,” Sunset told them. “I mean, carrots, infrared night-vision scopes? What are we gonna do next, tap his phone line?”

“Oh, that can be arranged,” Dash said.

As Applejack glanced at her friends, and then back at the castle across the way, she couldn’t help but think how perverse they were being. She was more of a skeptic, basically grounded in reality and didn’t want to believe that people were up to anything strange because if they were, she would be the one who would have to deal with it. Meanwhile, many others believed that Spike was evil and that he was building a dungeon in his basement.

They were just going to take a teensy-weensy peek inside his window and see what the charming fellow was up to. Their mouths fell open as they peered through the master bedroom windows and caught sight of Spike lifting his black T-shirt over his head, exposing his long, lean form, showing off porcelain skin, a broad chest without a single hair (dark or otherwise) and abs they could literally bounce a quarter off.

Spike used his shirt to wipe his brow before dropping it to the floor then he opened the double doors of his walk-in closet. It was still August, and hotter than ever.

“Good God,” they all thought.

The girls’ hearts pounded with a near madness of lust and desire as they admired his physique. They could see why Spike had so many female admirers: his tall, muscular frame and broad, strong shoulders were very appealing. It was his arms and shoulders that always gave them their first thrill. His handsome face and bulging biceps glistened from the sheen of perspiration that had developed there, as well as along his fine back and chest, which they longed to put their faces into.

As the girls watched Spike unzip and strip off his denim blue jeans, and watched his taut buttocks disappear, each realized that her panties were damp. Spike’s body always had that effect on them, but seeing his bare chest and buttocks made them wetter than usual. They could feel their juices churning like butter as they waited impatiently for him to return—and, God willing, see his beef bayonet—as they found themselves imagining those broad shoulders under their hands, the taste of his sweat on their tongues.

Rarity panted, scolding, as she touched herself. She was a lady and ladies did not do this sort of thing. But she became very warm and wet the more she did it. She undid the button of her pants and slid her hand down her panties. She was leaking so much that her inner thighs were soaked. But before she could orgasm, she let out a loud, involuntary moan... one loud enough that Spike turned his head toward his window.

Snapped out of their reverie with a primal flush of heat, the six young women froze, almost too afraid to move. Suddenly, they scampered down the trees, ran back across the lawn, and jumped over the wall to safety, hardly believing what they had just done.

“That was a close one, ladies and gentlemen,” Rainbow Dash said as they all got back on their bikes and pedaled like their lives depended on it. “Unfortunately, in every contest, there must be a loser. Loo-hoo... se-her!”

.

It was the middle of the night when Celestia awoke... just in time to catch a glimpse of Spike’s human silhouette as he passed by her open doorway and disappeared down the stairs.

On nights like this she would hear him murmuring something in his native tongue, Draconic. Celestia didn’t know why he did that, and if she ever asked him about it, he would just shrug and say he was just thinking out loud. She put on her robe and followed him downstairs, into the living room. Peeking from behind a high-backed red chair, Celestia found Spike standing alone in the dark, in front of the fireplace, sipping from a glass of Cognac, staring into the roaring flames, smoke curling from the hearth and swirling around his legs. Then she realized it wasn’t the fire that was roaring... it was him.

“Spike, are you all right?” she asked.

“Obviously not if you have to ask that question,” he snapped in reply.

She approached him cautiously, blinking with concern as she rubbed his arm.

“It’s awfully late. Why didn’t you come to bed?” she asked. “Did everything go okay at the office? Did anybody say something to upset you?”

“I’m not upset,” he said with a snort. “What’s there to be upset about? I’m fine.”

“You are not ‘fine,’” she told him. “Did you have another nightmare? I know you’ve been having more and more lately. Something is bothering you. Spike... I’m worried about you.”

He sighed as his fingers grazed the pendant on her gold necklace and said, “I remember when I gave this to you.”

“How long is it going to take for you to be honest with me?” she asked.

Spike didn’t want to tell Celestia what was going on, but she followed his gaze to a stack of half a dozen newspapers on the settee. So many bad stories: a car crash, no fatalities; a girl caught shoplifting, rumors of more drug rings... and a memo that said all police officers that were not working active cases were to attend a sexual harassment lecture at the human resources training center. The female officers could not sit through another one of those; many of them had already threatened to shoot themselves.

“‘Equestrian Dragon Strikes Again’, ‘Police Declare War on Dragon,’” Celestia read the headlines. “I take it you’ve been reading How to Make Friends and Influence People.”

“Somebody’s setting me up,” he told her.

“You mean it wasn’t you tossing guards out of windows that night?” she asked.

“There were two similar incidents at other power plants earlier last week--a coal burning plant and a nuclear reactor. Nobody hurt like last night, but property damaged all the same,”

“And you suspect a pattern,”

“It’s not just them,” Spike said. “It’s this...”

He reached for a remote control on a nearby side table, and turned on the T.V. set.

“From New Canterlot Nighttime, with reporter Inky Quills...” the announcer said.

“Good evening,” Quills began. “Tonight’s topic of discussion is: ‘The Equestrian Dragon: Savior or Scourge?’ With me here in the studio are our guests... New Canterlot Mayor Walt R. Strider, Police Captain Shining Armor, and prominent psychiatrist Dr. Hue Blackburn.”

The mayor, Walt R. Strider, was a greedy, hard-hearted, two-faced, triple-chinned, four-flushing tub of lard who held absolute power and influence over New Canterlot City; while Dr. Blackburn was a stern-faced man whose receding brown hair was slicked back. Compared to them, Shining Armor was the only one who looked like a real human.

“A T.V. show -- the last place a cop is needed,” Shining Armor thought. “Might as well be in church.”

Hot lights, but no yawning allowed.

“Let’s start with you, Mr. Mayor,” Inky Quills said. “What are your feelings about this bizarre new vigilante?”

“My position was, is, has been, and always will be clear and firm,” Strider began. “Although there are those who perceive this shadowy figure as a kind of godsend who fights fire with fire, my responsibility is to put out all the fires. In New Canterlot, no one is above the law.”

Shining Armor thought the man was a pompous ass.

“How can anyone listen to him?” he asked himself in thought. “Why am I even here?”

The truth was Strider hated the Equestrian Dragon for being beyond his control, but never made a firm stand against him for fear of losing any pro-Dragon voters.

“Besides, what do we really know about this dark entity?” the politician asked.

“Dr. Blackburn, perhaps that falls into your area of expertise,” Quills said. “What do we know about this ‘Dragon’?”

“Well, psychologically speaking, I would say he is extremely obsessed and he craves individual power, indicating a paranoid mistrust of others,” he said expertly.

“Let’s take the obsession first, Dr. Blackburn,” Quills said. “Obsessed with what? Stopping criminals, making the police appear foolish and inept?”

“All of that... and more,” Blackburn replied. “Obsessed with the night, with darkness, and with vengeance. I wouldn’t be surprised if he or a loved one was the victim of a crime -- a crime committed in darkness. The very genesis of this tormented figure might well be traced back to the traumatic events of a single key moment... a night that haunts him, and may well haunt him forever.”

“Be that as it may, Doctor, and at this point there’s hardly proof--you mentioned obsession with individual power,” Inky Quills said. “Why?”

“His turf,” Shining Armor thought. “And he knows it damned well.”

“It isn’t obvious?” Blackburn replied. “He hasn’t chosen to join the police force, has he? He’s a rogue who acts alone. And here is the curious part, the fascinating aspect... He does not wish to share his victories and accomplishments, yet he insists on remaining anonymous. He craves fame, wants to be a star, but not as himself--only as this fictional construct, ‘The Dragon.’ This indicates both schizophrenia and a split personality.”

“Have you ever considered that his anonymity is utilitarian and necessary?” Shining Armor interjected. “He can’t do what he does without the disguise. He couldn’t operate without anonymity. He’d be arrested immediately. He might suffer reprisals.”

“Quite so, Captain,” Blackburn agreed, “but the form of his disguise suggests anything but utilitarian motive. Just look at the image he’s chosen. The iconography of a mythological monster. Clearly, he exults in the dark power of this terrifying apparition to--”

“Oh, for Scorpan’s sake! He just wants to scare the shit out of people!” Shining Armor exclaimed. “And nothing strikes terror into people’s hearts like a dragon!”

“Forgive me, Captain Armor, but it almost sounds as if you’re apologizing for this vigilante,” Inky Quills observed, “even defending him. Is that your intent?”

“No,” Shining Armor stated. “If he breaks laws, or takes the law into his own hands, he must be brought to justice... just like anyone else.”

Mayor Strider cleared his throat. “Captain Armor is a very pragmatic, no-nonsense officer, and he gets results. Which is why I am pleased to announce the creation, formation, and authorization of the new top-priority Major Crimes Unit, who will be charged with bringing in all vigilantes, to put a stop to this Dragon once and for all!”

“What is he--?” Shining Armor thought.

“With Captain Armor here as its commander,” Strider stated.

“Me? So that’s why I’m here with him -- instead of the Chief of Police,” Shining thought.

It was going to be his responsibility that the urban legend didn’t become a folk hero.

“Well, this is news, Mr. Mayor,” Inky Quills said. “And may I say you’ve certainly chosen a very public forum I which to deliver your announcement.”

“On the other hand, Quills, this ‘psychological profile’ business may also have some merit,” Strider went on. “I don’t mind saying I’m impressed by Dr. Blackburn’s insights, since it is also my opinion that this Dragon is some sort of deranged power-freak.”

“And on that note, I’m afraid we are out of time,” Inky Quills cut in. “So I’d just like to thank our guests and say good night, and a better tomorrow.”

.

The shirtless dragon in human form switched off the television then rested his agonized face in his hands.

“Why did he get to me? Because some of what he said may be somewhat true...? No... just another modern witch doctor on a screen... and I have other things to worry about. But... was it true? Must I act alone? Is my ego that huge? My obsession that great? What would it take for me to trust someone? And who could I trust?”

Spike slowly turned to look at Celestia, his gaze moving from her sleeveless baby blue nightgown to her smooth, youthful face. He thought she and her sister would have stayed with him only until that first spring thaw and be on their way. But one thing he had learned about them was that they didn’t change their minds once they had decided on something... and they seemed Tartarus-bent on staying with him until the end of Time.

He threw Celestia down onto the settee with such ferocity that it surprised her, even more so when he climbed on top of her. Her breathing became ragged, and she writhed beneath Spike as he forcefully grabbed one of her breasts and lowered his lips to her rosy nipple. His tongue met the bud with such vigor that it left Celestia breathless for a moment. He bit and suckled with a fervor he had never displayed before, and her whimpers of pleasure were quickly turning into screams of ecstasy.

“Please, don’t tease me,” she told him.

Celestia stopped moaning when Spike’s mouth left her nipple... and then he stopped moving entirely. Her breasts were heaving with each breath, her eyes begging him to continue.

She looked at him with love as he gazed back at her with longing in his own eyes, but he remained silent. He didn’t think this would make her anxious, but Celestia began to think that Spike was mad at her.

She couldn’t stand when he was mad at her.

Celestia wanted to please him, make him happy.

Her arms were crossed enticingly beneath her breasts, lifting them as if in offering, as she looked at him with eyes on the brink of tears. Her warmth melted into him and her curls teased him ceaselessly. He’d stopped counting the number of times he’d almost buried his face in her hair. What the Tartarus had he been thinking, telling her he wouldn’t approach her again? Now, every inch of his being rebelled against his own oath...

“Spike, what have I done wrong?” she pleaded sadly. “I’ve always done what you’ve asked of me. Why do you torment me? Please, tell me... I love you.”

Spike hated to see a grown woman cry; he hated hearing Celestia beg even more.

“Nothing,” he sighed as he lifted her chin so she could look at him. “You’re beautiful.”

It was true. She looked like the woman he’d always had: a voluptuous goddess in lingerie. Spike knew that he should be overjoyed to have this fallen angel at his beck and call, but he always held back.

He knew that this was wrong.

Celestia had been perfect for getting out all of his centuries of pent-up frustration, but she barely satisfied his emotional needs. Spike swore that he would never raise a claw to her, never use her, or abuse her, to satisfy his own carnal desires.

“What am I doing?” he asked himself aloud. “I attacked you, threw you down, almost took you by force, and for what? A temporary solution to my--?”

Spike couldn’t even finish his sentence, he was so ashamed.

It wasn’t just those sensations, though. It was also the way this fallen goddess had said she felt about him. She had said she loved him and wanted to be with him. But Spike understood that she wasn’t just using the words; it was what she was willing to do with him that she felt something much stronger than physical attraction.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed.

His head came to rest on Celestia’s breast and she gently stroked his hair as he listened to her heart beat, and he stayed in her arms until he fell asleep.

.

Back at the T.V. station, Mayor Strider chewed on a piece of key lime pie as he looked at Shining Armor thoughtfully.

“Brilliant idea, eh, Captain?” he said at last. “And announced with maximum publicity. You can start picking your men tomorrow.”

“But--” Shining Armor tried to protest.

“I think Chief Ganache can spare a few men,” Strider said. “After all, you do have a reputation for getting results. Anything else, Captain?”

“No... just make sure the D.A.’s office can give us an airtight case,” Armor replied.

“If you catch him, I’ll put him in jail for you,” the district attorney, a golden-haired maiden named Dane Tee Dove, stated with a smile.

“Dr. Blackburn?” Strider called out. “If I could have a moment? I really did like your observations, Doctor. In fact, I’d like to explore the possibility of you serving as a consultant to the Major Crimes Unit.”

“Well, now...” Blackburn said.

“He’s buying it -- eating it up with a spoon -- as if he could figure out who the Dragon might be...” Shining Armor thought. “God. The Dragon... he’s more effective than fifty cops on the street. What do I do? Even if I could stop him... how can I?”

.

In the morning, the students at New Canterlot University assembled in the auditorium to discuss the list of remaining preparations for the school’s open house carnival coming up that weekend. Juniper Montage, in particular, wanted to profit off this opportunity and encourage more girls to enroll.

“Ray? Ray? Here, boy,” Sunset Shimmer called out.

“Hey, Sunset,” Pinkie greeted her.

“Shh! Ray has gone missing,” Sunset said.

“You don’t suppose he went into hibernation early, do you?” Fluttershy asked.

“Not likely,” Sunset replied. “The University’s open house festival is this weekend. If the little guy missed it, he’d be crushed. Huh? Oh! Hey! Hey!”

Sunset started giggling as she reached into her jacket’s breast pocket and pulled out a handsome leopard gecko.

“Ray!” she exclaimed happily.

“Sunset, have you ever thought about getting a normal pet?” Rarity asked.

“Like what?” Sunset replied.

“Something not reptilian,” Rarity said.

Ray stuck his tongue out at her like he was blowing a raspberry.

“You don’t deserve to be kissed by a handsome reptile,” Fluttershy told her.

It was then that Juniper Montage stomped in, and instead of “good morning,” she started by tearing into them.

“Okay, the school’s open house festival is this weekend!” she began. “And the theme for this year is ‘New Students’. The open house is our best chance to prove that New Canterlot U is the only logical choice. Right now, we’re perceived as stuck-up, elitist and socially exclusive. By this time next year, we will improve the school’s image by getting as many new students as possible! It’s going to be up to all of you to make this fantasy a reality!”

Unfortunately, there were more than a few problems with that.

New Canterlot University was a university for college kids. There was no pressure to excel, but the faculty didn’t want the students slacking off, either. They studied as much or as little as they wanted to... which, more often than not, was just enough to get by. And because New Canterlot University expected so much less from its students, the professors could spend time on other pursuits: novels, research projects, sorority girls... and because New Canterlot U was the only game in town, they didn’t have to worry about losing grant money or other funding due to academic performance.

And since many of the students were heirs to the various small businesses around town (the ones that weren’t a Zenith Industries property), the cultural festival served as an opportunity for them to demonstrate their skills in management and budgeting through how well they set up and organized the activities.

“So, any ideas on what your classes can contribute?” Headmistress Cadence asked them.

“I don’t know, something awesome?” Rainbow Dash retorted.

“Maybe we could sell food?” Lily suggested.

“What if we put together a little café?” Rose asked.

“If we’re gonna do a café, we should make it a maid café!” Pinkie Pie said.

“No! No! Nooo!” Rarity protested. “I don’t want that at all!”

“I’m with Rarity,” Sunset Shimmer put in. “I don’t want to do a maid café, either.”

“I think we should so something more appropriate,” Daisy went on.

“Then let’s do a butler café!”

“Does anyone besides Pinkie Pie have any ideas?!” Juniper Montage asked.

Pinkie studied comedy and was very adept at gags; from stupid puns to wicked jokes, her style was comical, unusual and whimsical. She was also good at dancing.

However, problems had arisen with many of the college’s younger students because Juniper Montage had vetoed any and all activities she considered ridiculous. She felt they’d over-thought things, trying to come up with something “fresh” and new... even the ideas proposed by the girls that were little more than attempts to exploit the boys. When the boys marched in, they were not happy.

“So, did you finally manage to come up with a proper proposal this time?” she asked.

“Yes,” the chubby Snips conceded. “Even though our last idea was cool and amazing, we may have gone a little overboard. So, we toned it down and this is what we came up with.”

He nodded to his lanky buddy Snails, who stepped forward and unfurled a lengthy scroll... with a single idea.

“‘A Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament’? Rejected,” Juniper said.

“Why?!” Snips asked. “We’ve always had one of these!”

“There is no such tradition,” Juniper argued.

“We did it last year and it was a big hit, right?” asked Snails.

“Only with all of YOU, it was,” she snapped.

“And what’s wrong with that?!” Rumble shouted.

“The open house fest is for all of us to enjoy!” Shady Daze added.

“Do you even hear yourselves when you talk?!” Juniper Montage screeched. “Have you morons even been listening to a single word that I have said!? Your class is the only one that hasn’t decided yet. Get out and don’t come back until you can bring me a real idea! One that will ATTRACT students NOT send them running for the hills!”

“You keep rejecting everything, and not just the good ones!” Snips bickered.

“Because every single thing you have suggested has been totally worthless!”

“So... I’m guessing a photo shoot, costume contests and coed self-defense seminars are all out?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Ultimately, Juniper decided that the second-years would host a coffee shop as suggested by Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo--the top three female students in the class.

“Headmistress Amore, say something!” the boys begged.

At first, Cadence didn’t want to—she really want to do it—she wanted them to settle this among themselves. If she had known that this is what she would have to deal with, she wouldn’t have accepted the job. She felt more like a high school principal than a college headmistress.

It wasn’t until after the boy students started chanting her name that she finally stepped up to Juniper Montage and asked, “Okay, what am I supposed to tell her?”

“Say, ‘let them do the Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament,’” Snips replied.

“Fine. Let them do the Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament,” she echoed unemotionally.

“No, no, Headmistress, you have to say it with conviction,” Snails told her.

“Honestly, I don’t really care one way or the other,” she admitted.

“What?!” the boys cried.

“Still, that being said, they make a fair point,” she said to Juniper Montage. “Couldn’t you at least listen to the guys a little more and try to take their opinions into consideration?”

“I can’t argue with that,” Juniper thought.

While Headmistress Cadence Amore was dealing with her students, Police Captain Shining Armor was dealing with his own childlike subordinates.

“What I need is someone I can trust... but not have a lot of faith in,” he thought as he entered the police station’s gym room. “A good cop, but one who’s not that good... someone clean, on the straight-and-narrow, and tough... A real go-getter, but one who doesn’t necessarily get anyplace--dedicated, but strictly by-the-book... Blinded by a gutful of personal hate... and none too bright in the first place...”

“Officer Sable, how are you feeling about the Dragon today?” he asked.

“The Dragon?” she replied as she looked at herself in the mirror while lifting weights. “I want to murder him, that’s how I feel!”

“Then congratulations, you’re being tapped to serve as second-in-command on the new Major Crimes Unit,” Shining Armor said. “I want you to prepare a list of ten plainclothes officers for my approval.”

“That’s it?” she asked. “That’s all you want me to do?”

“A unit can’t do much of anything until it’s been formed, now can it?”

She understood, nodded and said, “All right, you’ll get your list.”

On his way to his office, Shining Armor was stopped by Sergeant Spearhead.

“The mayor’s office wants everything on the Dragon, Captain,” he said. “I think it’s for that shrink Hue Blackburn.”

“You can tell Strider he’ll have what he wants by tomorrow,” Shining Armor answered.

“And don’t forget everything on the vigilante, Captain--all nineteen alleged sightings to date, including Monday night,” Spearhead said.

.

Thirty minutes later, at the newsstand near Zenith Industries across town, Minuette Colgate--in a black suit jacket and matching skirt--bought a copy of Melee magazine and skimmed the pages as cars blocked the intersection to the highway and North 4th Street.

Riding his motorcycle, Spike--wearing a black helmet and black leather jacket--weaved through the traffic. The light turned green but the vehicles remained at a standstill. He turned onto the clear street and parked in the small space between two Trans Ams--one black, one white--at the curbside, and Minuette eyed him seductively as she walked past.

At the same time, members of Animals Need Universal Support (formerly known as Citizens Opposed to the Mistreatment of Animals) crowded around outside the entrance to Zenith Industries, trying to do an exposé on the company’s meatpacking plant.

After a breakfast of bacon, sausage, ham and scrambled eggs, the last thing Spike wanted to deal with was animal rights activists. And unfortunately for him, the only way to his office was through them. So he marched straight toward the blockade of protestors... led by an old, gray-bearded, morbidly obese bastard in a wheelchair that went by the name of Green Scare.

“What have you got against animals?” he demanded.

“What have you got against him?”

The crowd looked behind Spike to see a ripped female with white hair and amber eyes step out of the white Trans Am. She wore ripped blue jeans, brown leather boots, a tight white tank top under a brown bomber’s jacket, and black fingerless gloves. And she was accompanied by two other, similar young women, who got out of the black Trans Am.

The second woman also had white hair, but the tips of it were frosted a light shade of emerald. She wore jeans and a brown leather jacket, but over a sleeveless latex halter top that showed off her neck and sharp athletic shoulders. The third woman was smaller and younger, with darker hair and dressed in gray, from her coat to her boots, like she was ready for winter.

“What exactly is your problem?” their leader asked. “A man your age, throwing a fit like a punk kid, you are the one who should be ashamed!”

She grabbed the fat protester by his shirt, hauled him out of his wheelchair, and she pulled out a switchblade and held under his greasy chin before he could even try to fight back.

“Now, you listen to me, you oversized rat jackass. If I ever catch you harassing Spike again, if I catch you ANYWHERE NEAR him again, Tartarus, if I so much as see your face in this town again, you’re dead!” she swore. “I am gonna gut you like a fish! I will cut your belly open, slice your heart in half, and drink your blood! Then I’m gonna peel your face off your head and use it to wipe my butt after I take a shit down your throat. GOT IT!?”

The fat protestor choked, “I... Who are you?”

“The name’s Gilda,” she stated. “I’m a friend of Spike Zenith. And, since I’m in a very good mood right now, I’m gonna cut you a break. Today only. Now why don’t you make like Michael Jackass and beat it!”

And she threw him back into his wheelchair, which crunched under his weight.

“I’ll just assume you said what I thought I heard you say,” a new voice said.

Spike and the crowd turned again, this time to see Silver Sable and a dozen other uniformed officers approaching them.

As Gilda met the policewoman’s gaze, her sneer turned into a genuine smile. Then she gave up her switchblade and assumed the position--hands behind her head.

The police ordered the protestors to disperse as Silver Sable read Gilda her rights and shoved her into the back of a nearby black-and-white patrol car.

“Want my advice? Shut up. If you behave, I might give your pig-sticker back when we get to the station,” she told her.

After the crowd was gone and the remaining officers made sure Spike was unharmed, he led Gilda’s accomplices--named Greta and Gabby--into Zenith Industries main building, where a security guard handing Spike a pair of small silver devices shaped like crescent moons.

“You’ll have to wear these tracking pins,” he said. “We’ve had some security issues in the city recently and we wanna make sure you stay safe.”

“What kind of issues?” Gabby asked.

“Nothin’ we can’t handle,” Spike answered.

Gabby and Greta followed Spike into the elevator, up to the main conference room, for discussions with the section heads of his various operations. He would be updated on the morning’s progress; he gave few orders, mostly observed, and let the teams get on with their work. The only demand he made was no smoking.

He had arrived a few minutes before the staff meeting was supposed to begin.

“Morning, ladies,” he greeted them. “What’s up, T-Bone?”

Spike kicked off his boots then kicked his bare feet up onto the conference table. Then the rest of the section heads took off their shoes and sat down.

“All right, let’s get started,” he said. “First, Quills and Sofas?”

“No problems,” Davenport replied.

“Photo department?” Spike asked Photo Finish.

“Under control,” she answered.

“Fashion?” he asked.

“As tight as your butt,” Prim Hemline said.

“Bagel and orange juice?”

“Already on your desk,” Fancy Pants stated.

“This was the best meeting so far,” Spike told them. “Dismissed.”

After they all collected their shoes, Greta and Gabby continued to follow Spike as he walked down the corridor and into his private office. They glanced around the room. Bigger than most apartments, it was all black leather furniture and mahogany walls with soft, plush red carpet; luxury upon luxury.

Spike locked the doors behind them then took a wad of cash out of his pocket as he walked over to one of the bookshelves behind his desk, and opened a book titled The Highland Dragon. The pages were cut away and computer discs filled the hollow inside.

Greta let out a squawk as Spike put the money inside, walked over to the mini-bar across from the bookcase, poured himself a Scotch, and took a sip of the liquor, anxious to transform and spread her wings.

Griffons were ferocious, aggressive and territorial carnivorous avian beasts that engaged in brutal aerial combat. When they attacked, they were as swift as eagles and struck with a lion’s might and savage grace. Griffons also laid eggs only once every thousand years, which were very beautiful and very valuable... and because griffon eggs were so rare, there were a lot of undesirables who would love to get their hands on one.

A griffon raised from an egg could be trained to serve as a mount. Once trained, the griffon was a fierce and loyal steed. However, such training was time consuming, expensive--mostly for the ample food the creature required--and dangerous. Expert trainers well versed in the griffon’s legendary ferocity were the only ones able to raise the creatures safely.

That’s how the Equestrian Dragon had first met Gilda, Greta and Gabby, when he had been tasked with helping them guard a griffon egg until it hatched. It didn’t belong to any of them—meaning, it wasn’t theirs—but long story short, the egg was stolen and it led them on a frenzied romp through New Yoke City.

Griffons were just as greedy as Dragons, they had the same vulnerability to Sphinx hair... and they retained ravenous appetites for meat. Normally, Gilda grilled her own meat, but they had a particular fondness for horsemeat, which is what Spike took from a mini-fridge beneath the mini-bar and offered it to the two lady griffons.

Gabby blushed. “For me?” she asked sweetly as she batted her eyelashes at him. “Spike, you shouldn’t have, but I’ll take it anyway.”

“Girls, do you have any idea why my company is so successful?” Spike asked them. “I am successful because I give the people what they want.”

“Well, maybe they’re smarter than you think,” Greta said. “Maybe they want something more than ‘ten easy ways to kill a man by using only one finger.’”

“Well, that’s not a risk I’m willing to take,” Spike stated. “I am Zenith Industries. I am guns, bombs, cars, food, oil, real estate, exports, steel and now diamonds and silver.”

He belched a cloud of smoke, which formed a dollar sign, and the two leather-clad griffon girls looked Spike up and down (practically stared at him) as he stepped behind a privacy wall, took off his T-shirt and changed into a black button-up.

“Our mission is to celebrate the life you have, instead of dreaming of someone else’s... and everyone shares in the riches,” he went on. “Which brings me to the business I called you here for: helping me to organize the fundraiser for the Zenith Industries Job Fair and Barbecue.”

Spike handed Greta a big, thick, weathered book and she read the cover.

“‘The Zenith Industries Steak Dinner Bible,’” she said.

“I created this in 1789 and have honed and perfected for over two centuries,” Spike told them. “Now, before every job fair my employees gather and feast upon this winning formula.”

“‘Guns and Ammo must never sit at the same table as Gift Wrapping.’ ‘Fulltime employees must face the north, part-time the south.’ You have got to be kidding!”

“Greta, I never joke about my work,” Spike stated.

As she began to read, Gabby leaned in, touching her cheek to his.

“They’re watching us,” she said. “I know why you’re here. I know what you’ve been doing. I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why, night after night, you sit at that computer. You’re looking for him. I know, because he found me. And when he did, he told me to warn you. He’s out there, Spike. He’s looking for you... and he will find you.”

.

Meanwhile, in the combination ad agency-law firm on the twelfth floor of the building, Miss Diamond Mint was meeting with her colleagues to discuss potential clients and contracts.

There was Prim Posy a cute blonde with an excellent insight into romance; then there was Drizzle, an arrogant, over-sexed and openly promiscuous blonde with degrees in astrophysics and biochemistry; and Serena, a young, white-haired advertising executive looking to branch out from her usual remit by leading a prestigious ad campaign.

“Oh, good, Serena’s here. We can begin,” Diamond Mint said. “Okay, on to pressing business. Word has come to us that iron and steel magnate, Spike Zenith, has dismissed his current tax lawyers.”

“Spike Zenith, born and raised in Loch Neighss, Scoltland, immigrated to the Equestrian States, where he’s been residing to today,” Prim Posy briefed them.

“Now, we’ve all heard that Mr. Zenith has a penchant for thriftiness, and that he brings new meaning to the term ‘conservative,’” Diamond Mint told them. “It’s not going to be easy. He’s suspicious of everyone and generally paranoid.”

“I’m his girl,” Drizzle said quickly. “I’m single. I’ll give him nights, weekends...”

“Aren’t you getting married soon, Drizzle?” Serena asked.

“I’m flexible,” Drizzle grinned. “And I wouldn’t want this to interfere with your vacation to Haywaii. Go. I got it all taken care of.”

“Well, that’s very admirable of you, Drizzle,” Serena replied. “I mean, you definitely are an ass... et to this company, especially at the annual softball game... but to an archconservative Scoltsman? What we will do is not charge Mr. Zenith one cent for his estate planning. Why? Because we do not care about that measly little fee; instead, we use it as a loss leader to get his corporate business, the multitrillion-dollar Zenith Diamonds and Silver conglomerate.”

Five minutes after the meeting ended—and leaving her colleagues to think over what she had just proposed—Serena was in her office talking with forewoman Florina Tart, one of Applejack’s cousins; a pale blonde secretary named Spring Forward, and the company’s beefy gofer/office boy T-Bone, who had just come from the staff meeting with Spike upstairs.

“Congratulations on turning it around in there,” Spring Forward said.

“Well, you were right,” Florina Tart added. “Zenith Diamonds and Silver is looking for a new attorney and ad agency. Diamond Mint wants to move on it aggressively.”

“Yes!” Serena hissed. “Oh, this is a good day. This is a good day. Girls, did you know that diamonds are about as common as taxis in Manehattan? The value is entirely sentimental... maintained by supply, demand and advertising. Now, Zenith dominates the world diamond and silver markets. Meaning if I represent him, I basically represent the entire industry.”

T-Bone gave a disgruntled groan and said, “Diamond Mint gave it to the preds.”

“Shears and Grey, they’re already on it,” Florina Tart confirmed.

“No! No way!” Serena exclaimed.

“Yeah, well, you know she’s kind of partial to big, beautiful men, for some reason,” Florina mumbled.

“And we’re the sneakers and beer division,” T-Bone went on. “Precious metals and precious gems aren’t exactly our forte.”

“Ox and Bull are over at a dudes’ magazine right now,” Serena said. “I gotta get to Zenith before they sink--”

“You can’t,” Spring Forward replied. “They’ll be on a plane leaving for Chicoltgo soon, and it’s too late anyway because Diamond Mint’s meeting them for drinks at Maretini’s next week to discuss their idea--”

“This isn’t happening, you know why?” Serena asked. “This was my tip. It’s going to be my pitch, my account, my campaign. This is my baby. They will not ace me out of this.”

“That’s what I’m talking about,” said T-Bone.

Shortly after, he rushed down to the grounds outside the building where the Zenith Industries’ Job Fair would be held and showed Spike the barbecue’s menu.

“How about you show me what you’ve got?” Spike began.

“We tried to think of things that would be easy for us to make ourselves,” T-Bone explained. “Also, could you take a look at the job fair’s layout?”

Spike went back and forth between the two sheets and said, “It would be better to separate the guests from the cooking area. Also, there’re too many items on this list. You should avoid using any of the more elaborate dishes. The more requirements there are on the kitchen, the longer your turnaround time will be. And if you leave the finishing touches to the wait staff, it will create more interaction with the customers... two birds, one stone.”

“Wow, Boss, you know a lot about this,” T-Bone said. “You sound like an expert.”

At the same time, in Zenith Industries’ Building C, the slaughterhouse, Caramel was shouting, “Coexistence is a fucking joke!”

“You want to say that a little louder?” Lucky Clover asked. “I think the soldiers on the other side of the continent didn’t quite hear you.”

“He took me off the active roster! I don’t give a shit if the whole planet hears me!!”

Caramel was lucky he hadn’t been fired for gross negligence.

“Hey, I’m just as upset as you are about being demoted from forklift operator and delivery driver to practically slave labor,” Lucky Clover retorted. “I just don’t have the worry lines to prove it. Look, this isn’t the time for my stinging barbs or your lame comebacks. I’m losing my power base. I’m over a barrel, like you at that charity hoedown.”

“What’s it matter?” Sugar Grape asked them. “Speak or not speak, it makes no difference. But it wasn’t always like this, was it? There was a time when Equestria flourished without cruelty and fear... the time of Dragons. No one could defeat them. Until, that is, a necromancer named Grogar decided to take their power for himself and cut down anyone who opposed him. And one day, he will pay for his crimes. The time of Dragons will come again.”

Ignoring her, Caramel and Lucky Clover went back to packing boxes.

Despite Caramel’s outbursts, he wasn’t as bitter about his demotion as he was before.

“I’ve been wondering about something, though. Have you ever wanted to be a company vice-president?” he asked Sunburst.

“Never,” Sunburst replied.

“You must’ve been surprised when you were scouted by Spike,” Sugar Grape said. “You can only work for Mr. Zenith if he hires you personally. He’s very selective about those he considers ‘worthy of representing his company.”

“Yeah, I believe that’s called ‘headhunting,’” Lucky Clover replied.

There was a certain truth to what was being said. It seemed that only those with--at least in Spike’s eyes--certain circumstances could join... and Zenith Industries was a cornucopia of unique personalities.

“Take them, for example,” Sugar Grape said, pointing to a group of three men across the warehouse. “Iron Hammer is a former Hooviet officer who comes from a long line of tailors in Moscolt. Sergeant Flash Flood used to be a safecracker, pickpocket, forger and headlining escape artist back in his home country of Trotland. And Water ‘One Cut’ Burns, the city’s barber, used to give thousands of crew cuts to the new recruits of our own nation’s military.”

The list seemed to go on and on.

“Wow. Zenith really does have one of everything, doesn’t he?” Caramel asked.

“And yet, we’re still short a tenor for the men’s quartet,” Lucky Clover replied.

They were as much a ragtag group if there ever was one.

Some people thought Spike had his work cut out for him.

They all had made mistakes.

But Spike gave them a second chance, and they had proven that they would never do anything to jeopardize that or hurt him.

“Does that mean even Spike has something he can’t tell anyone, a secret he doesn’t want to let anyone know?” they thought.

.

At the New Canterlot City Police Department, Gilda was still sitting in an interrogation room, having been taken in for questioning by Officer Silver Sable, when Captain Shining Armor finally got a chance to speak to her.

“Captain Armor? Inky Quills from the Gazette is on the line,” Officer Windstorm said.

“Tell him I passed away,” he replied before he entered the interrogation room.

The door closed behind him and he sat down at the table across from Gilda.

Brow furrowed, Shining Armor stared unblinking at Gilda who, with a look of irritation, slammed her handcuffed fists down on the table and shouted, “What?”

“Just what were you thinking?” he asked. “Were you even thinking at all?”

Silver Sable, who had been standing in the corner since she brought Gilda in, said, “We should put you in lockdown for the night! Maybe that would do you some good, because that’s what happens to bitches that pull knives on people who don’t have a crime boss like Spike Zenith backing them up! We toss them in jail!”

Gilda leaned forward and asked, “You know what really burns me up, dweebs?Yes, I did pull a knife on somebody. And you know what? You never asked me why. Maybe someone attacked me or tried to harm me. You never asked. I pulled a knife because this insult to retardation was attacking Spike Zenith for no reason. Guy just went up to him and got right in his face! And nobody was doing anything about it. Nobody! Not you, not the other people on the sidewalk, no one. And this idiot was going to keep harassing Spike unless someone stopped it. So I stopped it. You look me right in the eye and you tell me that I did the wrong thing. You tell me, pigs! And I would do it again in a second! So you might as well lock me up and throw away the key! My one phone call will be to Spike Zenith, attorney at law.”

From the other side of the two-way mirror, Shining Armor’s subordinates saw the look on the Captain’s face. They could see that he was weighing his options. For a moment, Shining was at a loss. Spike Zenith and Zenith Industries were the police department’s sole benefactor, they couldn’t risk going up against the one man who gave them the funding that they needed.

If her one phone call was going to be to the very same guy she was protecting, she would make bail no question.

So they had no choice but to let Gilda go.

“She was protecting him from whale huggers?” Valkyrie asked.

“They’ve been bugging Spike for weeks,” Windstorm replied.

“Why don’t we just shoot ‘em?” Valkyrie asked.

Spearhead chuckled. “I’ve been tempted. Boy, do they stink! ‘I am a whale, an endangered mammal. Hug me!’”

“Okay, blubber head, but you can’t be a whale unless you have a spout!” Windstorm said.

And they all had a good laugh.

.

That afternoon, Rainbow Dash joined her band mates on the outdoor stage for practice. Guitar in hand, she plugged into an amplifier and approached the microphone.

Pinkie clacked her drumsticks together over her head, shouted, “One... two... three!” and they rocked out to “Awesome As I Want To Be!” as Headmistress Amore watched them, smiling.

“Hold on,” Sunset said. “My guitar’s out of tune.”

“Trust me, Van Halen, it’s not the guitar,” Dash told her.

“At least I can keep the beat,” Sunset replied.

“Well, Pinkie Pie doesn’t even know which song we’re practicing!” Rarity argued.

“I go where the music takes me,” Pinkie answered.

“Come on, girls! Tryouts for the open house’s talent competition are tomorrow. Can we please try and get through one song?” Fluttershy asked them.

“Your folks are the only ones who have heard us play and Granny Smith made us soundproof the barn,” Applejack said. “We stink.”

“You stink!” Rainbow Dash retorted. “I carry all five of your no-talent butts!”

“It might’ve been your idea to start this band, but it isn’t just your band, ya know,” Applejack reminded her.

“Applejack, you play bass in the background,” Dash countered. “It’s a miracle anyone even notices you exist.”

“Perhaps we should take a short break,” Rarity suggested.

“Argh! All right. Take five!” Dash shouted.

As they went their separate ways, Sunset Shimmer and Pinkie Pie watched as Snips and Snails set up Trixie’s props for her own act for the talent competition. Suddenly, she appeared in a puff of smoke, wearing a blue silk sequin leotard, fishnet stockings, a black tuxedo jacket with matching cape, and a blue top hat.

“Voilà! The Great and Powerful Trixie is here!” she announced. “This magic show is going to be the greatest thing New Canterlot City has ever seen! This is my year. I can feel it. This year’s grand prize is going to be mine!”

“Prize?” Sunset asked.

“Oh, yes,” Trixie replied. “We’re competing for a lovely grand prize. Pinkie, tell Sunset Shimmer what she could win.”

“Yes, it’s a beautiful bicycle featuring deluxe saddles for increased comfort, low step-through frame, and a really loud horn,” Pinkie Pie said, pulling a magazine from her hair. “Furnished by the Regal Catalog. Chicoltgo, Illineighs, 60609.”

“You really wanna win this thing, huh?” Sunset asked Trixie.

“More than I want air to breathe!” she exclaimed.

Ever since the seventh grade, when she learned that her great-grandfather was the great Harry Hoofdini, Trixie had wanted to be a magician. Unfortunately, her magic acts tended to go awry. The worst one that had happened was when her magical handcuffs failed to open. Lately, she had been working on her card tricks, namely one where she could tell the future with them.

“The three of diamonds,” she told Pinkie. “That means you’re going to be rich.”

Juniper Montage, who was passing by, walked over and decided to try the trick.

“Okay, fourth card from the top is yours,” Trixie said as she shuffled and dealt them. “Ace of spades... that’s the Death card.”

“Yeah, right,” Juniper grunted as she shuffled this time and Trixie cut the deck again. “I can see it now. Cars, cash, big houses, boats...”

“Death,” Trixie said, showing the ace of spades again. “That’s twice in a row... ta-da?”

“How very underwhelming,” Rarity yawned.

“If you want a crowd pleaser, cut someone in half!” Rainbow Dash added.

As Juniper Montage stormed off, Trixie began to prepare for a more dangerous magic trick, one previously pulled off by Hoofdini. She dragged out an old steamer trunk that was behind the stage curtain, reached into the trunk, pulled out an egg timer and a straightjacket—just like the ones used in the old mental hospitals—and asked Snips and Snails to help her into it.

“That’s it, nice and tight,” Trixie said as they tied the straightjacket.

“You gonna ask us to stick swords in the box?” Snips asked.

“No, too easy,” Trixie replied. “Now, will you kindly assist me into the trunk?”

Snips did as he was told and helped her into her steamer trunk.

“Thank you. Now, Snails, you will close the lid and lock it,” she instructed. “Once the lid is locked, Snips, you will set the timer for ten seconds. And when the timer goes off, I shall appear at the side of the stage. Prepare to be amazed!”

Trixie bent down so that she fit inside the trunk, then Snails closed the lid and locked it, and Snips started the countdown. From outside the box, the group could hear Trixie grunting, struggling with the straightjacket. The timer dinged, a cloud of smoke exploded from inside the trunk and the grunting stopped. But when the smoke cleared and everyone looked off to the sides of the stage, Trixie wasn’t there.

“Trixie?” they called out when she failed to appear.

“Reset the timer!”

And the group slowly turned back to the trunk... where Trixie’s voice had come from.

As all this was going on, Spike had made his way over to the New Canterlot University’s student union building after Greta the Griffon had briefed him on one of the city’s gang’s activities there.

“Every year, New Canterlot U has a cultural day where all the different clubs will do stuff like set up booths, pass out pamphlets, give away couscous, whatever,” she had said. “Anyway, some of Legerdemain’s people are gonna be there to do recruiting for the Raven Cartel. If you hurry up you can take all those assholes out.”

Spike knew all about the University’s open house that weekend... he also knew about Legerdemain and his Ravens.

Legerdemain was backed by the largest drug cartel out of Coltombia in South Equestria. That, combined with the fact that he had survived no less than a dozen drive-by shootings, made him scary... He was also the only one stupid enough to try to muscle in on Boss Wolf.

While Spike was on the lookout for potential recruiters, his eyes and ears picked out Headmistress Amore talking to police Sergeant Spearhead and his partner, Officer Windstorm.

Spike’s hearing was very enhanced, far better at picking up sound than human ears.

“I really wish we could tell you more, Headmistress Amore,” Windstorm told Cadence. “But the perpetrator escaped before we could even slap the cuffs on him.”

“He was ranting on and on about the trophies like a madman, though,” Spearhead added.

“Vandals,” Cadence sighed. “From now on, I’ll be storing the trophies somewhere safe.”

As Spike stepped backward into the bushes, he turned and stared at the brick building behind him, and quietly transformed into his dragon form. Then he placed his clawed hands on the wall one after the other, and started to scale the side of the building with ease, his scaly fingertips sticking to the surface as he made his way up.

The Equestrian Dagon climbed up the side of the University’s main building and across Dean Parenthesis’ balcony. He hopped over the side of the balcony and watched through the windows as Parenthesis entered his office. Then Parenthesis fell off his chair when he spotted something outside. He got up, but saw that the balcony was clear, and when he ran out onto it, he looked straight down into the empty street and courtyard below. Out of sight, the Equestrian Dragon braced himself in a window beneath Parenthesis’ balcony.

Leaving the door open, Parenthesis went back inside and the Equestrian Dragon continued to scale carefully along the side of the building, and then snuck into Headmistress Amore’s office next door through the open window. He climbed inside, cut through the power cord to security camera with his claw, and the camera’s red light went out.

Then he began to look around her office.

The first thing he noticed was a make-up container on the desk.

“What’s this doing here?” the Dragon asked himself aloud.

“Obviously, it belongs to Cadence,” he thought... at first. Then he thought, “No. She didn’t have any make-up on at Club Pegasus’ opening the other night. And if you don’t wear make-up to an event like that you definitely don’t wear it while you’re working, especially not in a school... maybe confiscated from one of the students...”

Suddenly, he heard Headmistress Amore’s voice coming from outside her office door.

“Rest assured, Parenthesis, the trophies are safe,” she told him as she and the Dean entered her office. “The next--and only--people to get their hands on them will be the winners of the talent show.”

Still in his Equestrian Dragon form, Spike clung to the ceiling and noticed a bit of perspiration trickling along his snout, ready to drop... and it did... right into the Dean’s cup.

Cadence’s ears picked up the sound of the drop of Equestrian Dragon sweat landing in the coffee and she said, “I wouldn’t drink that. You may not like the flavor.”

“Miss Amore, relax,” Parenthesis replied.

As he sipped his coffee, Cadence gagged.

“Interesting brew,” Parenthesis said. “Is this Prench roast?”

“Scolttish, I think,” Cadence replied.

As Parenthesis turned and walked out, Cadence raised her eyes to the ceiling. She looked around the room then headed for her open window. She leaned over her balcony, looking down, and then up, only to find nothing.

The Equestrian Dragon was nowhere to be seen.

He was long gone.

.

Back outside, Amethyst Star continued to oversee the preparations for the open house, going over her clipboard with a list of booths, rides, even artist raffles. Her leadership skills and calming presence had given her plenty of experience defusing tense situations.

Moon Dancer led the choir, boys and girls, in singing a rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus from “Handel’s Messiah” while Daisy, Lily and Rose watered the plants and flowers. Cherry Berry raked leaves, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine put up decorations, Ditzy “Derpy” Doo helped Golden Harvest and Berryshine hang a banner, and Sugarberry dipped brushes into buckets of green and blue paint and proceeded to paint the proscenium arch of the stage, the columns at its sides, and the decorative molding at the top.

“How’s this?” Golden Harvest asked about the banner.

“Yeah, I think it looks good,” Amethyst Star smiled in reply.

“Okay then, here’s the next one,” said Ditzy.

“Keep up the good work,” Amethyst Star told them. “I wonder how the other girls are doing,” she thought out loud.

That’s when she noticed Spike selling tickets for his company’s barbecue and job fair... only five bucks.

“I’ll see you later, girls,” he said.

After he’d left to fulfill his duties, Fluttershy turned to Rainbow Dash and asked, “You’re going, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, well, I thought I’d check it out,” Dash admitted. “I don’t have the same issue you do and I want to see what Zenith Industries has to offer.”

“Well, frankly, I am shocked,” Zappityhoof said at Fluttershy. “I can’t believe you would even consider going to a barbecue, and after totally wrecking everyone’s lunch hour! Wouldn’t it be hypocritical to take part in that when you’re so anti-meat? What about your principles?”

A few short yards away, Pinkie Pie, who was now wearing a cheerleading leotard made entirely of pink sequins so tight it made her booty look like a pink mirror ball at a discothèque, was practiced her baton twirling. She twirled it with amazing speed... until she threw the baton up into the air and it landed on Zappityhoof’s head, which sent her running.

“Whoa! I’ve never seen Pinkie drop her baton before. She’s a pro,” Rainbow Dash thought. “But sometimes she’s a real klutz.”

Pinkie started sniffing the air. Then she asked, “Was Spike just here again? Oh, I missed the big ‘D’?”

“You can smell him?” Rarity asked.

“I can do many things,” Pinkie replied.

“I dig Spike Zenith!” Golden Harvest said.

“I love Spike Zenith!” Ditzy swooned.

“I worship Spike Zenith!” Berryshine sighed.

“He’s brave,” said Rose.

“He’s fearless,” added Daisy.

“He can do anything!” Lily exclaimed.

Then Juniper Montage shouted, “He’s just some guy!”

And they all replied, “He is not just ‘some guy’! Spike Zenith is my hero!”

Rolling her eyes at them, Juniper Montage decided to see what the other classes had come up with. The first-year students had converted the auditorium into a planetarium where couples could hold hands and get lovey-dovey in the dark.

“What the Tartarus is this supposed to be?” she demanded.

“I thought it was a great idea,” Twist said.

“This is the exact opposite of what we’re going for!” Juniper told them. “You were to put together a wholesome planetarium that welcomes people! These extra ‘props’ are not needed!”

The third-year students had decided on a haunted house. There had been some dispute about doing a “haunted café” staffed by zombies, but since the second-years were already doing a café, they stuck with the original choice.

“I thought I said boys aren’t allowed to dress up like monsters,” Juniper Montage stated.

“Why the Tartarus not?!” Hoops demanded.

“Because last year, some idiot chose to latch onto one of the girls and refused to let go of her!” Juniper shouted.

“We’d never do that!” Dumb-Bell replied.

“We look super scary, though, right?” Parasol asked.

“I hope I didn’t frighten you too much,” Sea Swirl said. “But I spent weeks studying horror movies just to get into character for this... and I didn’t want to do a second-rate job.”

“I swear...” Juniper grumbled.

The next group she checked on was Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, who were running a café while wearing adorable meido costumes.

Since their “debate” earlier that day, the second-year boys never complained, which Juniper Montage thought was suspicious, even more so now that they were all skipping class.

She couldn’t imagine them just giving up, at least not without a fight.

“Are you sure it was okay for you to just choose for them like that?” Scootaloo asked. “I mean, will they be all right? They looked pretty mad when you said they couldn’t use their idea.”

“It had to be done,” Juniper Montage replied. “If I hadn’t, your class would have been unable to participate. They’ll get over it.”

“We just want to work with the boys to make sure everyone has a good time at the open house,” Apple Bloom said.

“That’s what’s important,” Sweetie Belle added.

“Don’t worry,” Juniper practically promised them. “I’m sure it will be a fun festival.”

She returned to the outdoor stage hoping to find Trixie still working on her routine, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“Is everything all right?” she asked Sunset Shimmer.

“We’re fine,” she answered.

“Where’s Trixie?”

Behind the curtain, the other girls heard what was being said. Then Sunset Shimmer joined them saying, “She won’t talk to anyone other than Fluttershy or Applejack.”

“That’s because she knows they’ll squeal,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Do you really have so little faith in me?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes!” Dash and Sunset replied.

“So don’t tell her, stupid,” Dash added.

“We didn’t do anything,” Fluttershy said.

“She’s locked in a box,” Dash said. “Who do you think she’s gonna blame?”

But Juniper had already forced her way backstage, demanding to know where Trixie was.

“I’ll give you three guesses,” Rainbow Dash told her.

Shaking her head, she walked right up to the locked trunk and asked, “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Trixie replied (from inside the box).

“She told us to put her in there,” Snips stated defensively.

“They are speaking the truth,” Trixie said. “They are completely innocent... this time.”

“If we get the trunk high enough and drop it, it’ll break open,” Snails thought aloud.

“Gang, we’re in some kind of trouble,” Applejack said, looking at the truck. “These are reinforced polycarbonate Equestrian butt hinges.”

“This is why I hate people,” Juniper growled. “You think you can do whatever you want to others, regardless of whether they hate it or not.”

“How prejudiced,” Rarity commented.

By this time, Headmistress Amore had joined them.

“There’s no need to yell, Miss Montage,” Cadence told her. “Juniper, if you treat and regard others like they are your enemies, don’t you think that they’ll be antagonistic toward you as well?” she asked.

“I don’t care!” Juniper shouted. “I hate them, so them being ‘antagonistic’ is fine by me!”

“Well, okay, then,” Cadence replied. “I’m just saying you should be careful, or soon, you may find that you have dug yourself into a deep hole with no way out... and no one to help you.”

Unknown to Headmistress Amore and the rest of the school, many of the male students were having their own, secret, meeting on the other side of the gymnasium. They were not going to let Juniper Montage boss them around anymore.

“This is perfect,” Shady Daze whispered.

“I know, right?” Rumble replied. “We should have done this in the first place. Everyone suited up and ready to go?”

“Sir, yes, sir!” they shouted in reply.

“This is what we’ve all worked so hard for!” Rumble stated.

“Pistachio even sewed our costumes by hand!” Featherweight said, showing them his classmate’s bandages fingers.

It was obvious that he was not used to making his own clothes, especially so many.

Suddenly, they snapped to attention when they saw that Spike was among them.

“So... which of these is mine?” he asked.

“You mean you’ll do it with us?” the boys asked.

“Now we can’t possibly lose,” Rumble said.

The boys each contributed a piece of their samurai costumes—bits of armor, leggings, large spaulders for the arms, a chestplate—until they had assembled a whole suit of armor, complete with a katana sheathed on his left hip.

“Is this it?” Tender Taps asked.

“Spike, it’s you!” Rumble stated.

“We have a winner!” Snips exclaimed.

“The sword may be a fake, but he looks the real deal,” Snails added.

“So, I’ll have to wear one of these too, right?” Spike asked about the helmet.

“No! No way!” they all protested.

“Someone, find something that suits him! Hurry!” Pistachio exclaimed.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll just wear one of my old uniforms,” he told them.

And the boys cheered, as they felt they had just scored their strongest ally.

.

Later that night, as Fluttershy was having dinner with her parents and brother—beef brisket and a salad with cucumbers, carrots and Thousand Island dressing—her mother observed that her daughter was not eating.

“Aren’t you hungry?” she asked.

“Yes, but I can’t eat this,” Fluttershy replied.

“It’s one of your favorites,” Posey Shy reminded her.

“Not anymore,” Fluttershy said. “I’m a vegetarian.”

Zephyr Breeze blinked. “Huh? You’re kidding, right? What about protein?”

“There are other ways to get protein, Zephyr,” Fluttershy snapped. “Look it up.”

“Remember when you were six and just ate food that began with the letter ‘C’?” her father, Gentle Breeze, asked. “I think you’re just going through another one of your phases.”

“It’s not a phase! I will no longer be a party to the killing of helpless animals,”

This was the first time she had really defied her parents. She had also started hanging out with some “radical vegans”. They met every Thursday night at seven o’clock. The big difference between vegans and vegetarians was that while vegetarians didn’t eat meat—poultry, fish or seafood—vegans didn’t eat any kind of animal or animal-related products. That included dairy and eggs. They didn’t even eat Jell-O because gelatin was made from cows’ bones.

(The cartilaginous fibers from the bovine ptella structure, which gelatin was extracted from, gave it that fun, bouncy quality.)

“Well, that’s it for today, but before you go, I just want to remind you about our booth at New Canterlot University’s open house this weekend,” Sandalwood had said at their last meeting. “Are you going to go?” he’d asked Fluttershy. “We’ll hand out free samples of meatless hotdogs and burgers. People really love it and it’s a lot of fun.”

“Count me in,” Fluttershy replied.

Elsewhere in the city, Spike was tracking down leads on Legerdemain. After the looking for recruiters at the preparations for NCU’s open house turned out to be a bust, he decided he try talking to some of the Ravens’ known associates. He approached a vacant basketball court... only to find that it wasn’t completely vacant. A couple of guys had climbed over the padlocked chain link fence to play a little one-on-one. It was a pair he recognized as the Mustard Twins—Dijon and Poupon—brothers, one arrested for petty larceny, the other for fraud; both never convicted... otherwise no criminal record.

“You gonna kick our asses out, too?” Dijon asked.

“Nope,” Spike replied.

“You’re 5-0, aren’t ya?” Poupon asked.

“I’m worse,” Spike answered.

“‘Worse’?” Dijon asked.

“Yeah, right,” Poupon scoffed.

“Big fence to climb over,” Spike said.

“Whatchya want?” Dijon asked.

“To get this lock off the gate... No one should have to hop a fence just to shoot hoops,”

“You got heat to do something about it?” Dijon asked.

“Maybe you do,” Spike replied.

“Maybe we did,”

“It’d be better with lights,” Spike said. “Just one question... Give me the right answer, you have my word this lock will stay off and these lights will come back on. Give me the wrong answer, I can’t help you.”

“Get outta here, Fed!” Dijon spat.

Poupon pulled his brother aside and asked, “Whatcha doin’, bro?”

“He’s a narc, man. He’s trying to get us to say Legerdemain’s dealin’,”

“So tell the cop what he wants to hear if it gets us our lights back,”

Dijon paused, thought about it, and then nodded. But when he and Poupon turned around, they saw that Spike had already hopped the fence and was standing right behind them.

“You want the question?” he asked them.

“I know the question,” Dijon replied. “You ain’t gonna like the answer.”

“I will if it’s the truth,” Spike countered.

“We could lie,” Poupon said. “How you gonna know?”

“Oh, believe me, I’ll know,” Spike told them.

.

Finally, Friday morning--the day of the college festival--had arrived. But before New Canterlot University officially opened for its open house, Sunburst, Fleur and Fancy Pants were helping Spike go over the checklist for the Zenith Industries Job Fair and Barbecue.

“Hard apple cider...?” Sunburst asked.

“Sweetened with sugar and molasses and stirred by the youngest living member of the Apple-Smith Family: Apple Bloom,” Spike smiled.

“Okay. Corn...?”

“Hand-shucked, soaked in butter and served with matching corn-on-the-cob holders,”

“Steaks and burgers...?” Fleur asked.

“Two thousand, grass-fed, all donated by the guys in Building C, propane grilled at 350 degrees for 21 minutes, each flipped three times at seven minute intervals and individually branded with each employee’s initials,” Spike stated proudly.

“Chili...?” Fancy asked.

“Meat-to-bean ratio, one pound of browned pork sausage for every two cans of red AND kidney beans, a quarter cup of chipotle chili powder, one tablespoon of Worchester sauce, a little garlic powder, a dash of oregano and just a pinch of cumin, cooked on low from sundown to sunup,” Spike replied.

“You’re scaring me,” Sunburst commented. “Grilled-cheese sandwiches for the kids...?”

“Equestrian sharp cheddar cheese made with milk from Equestrian cows, homemade bread with a generous dollop of oleo spread, and fired up with our own patented Zenith 2000 Turbo Ignition Switch Blowtorch,” Spike said. “And as for the shish kebabs, alternated meat and vegetables, ESDA choice cube steak, campari tomatoes, pearl onions, green bell peppers and summer squash, lightly dusted with a hint of sage and tarragon.”

After checking the food, Spike checked the decorations.

“Purple and green tapestries with silver trim and fringes, solid gold wine goblet filled with grass from the front lawn of the opposing company’s C.E.O., Filthy Rich; dragon and sea dragon statues in attack position...” he said.

Shortly after that, the employees and their families began to arrive, even a few of the retired former employees.

“Good to see you,” Celestia and Luna greeted them. “Glad you could make it.”

As they began to eat, Spike noticed that Fluttershy’s parents had brought Zephyr Breeze and his girlfriend, Tree Hugger, who said, “I, uh, don’t feel very hungry.”

“Sit down!” Distant Star stated quietly. “If our boss took the time to prepare this food, you can take the time to eat it.”

“Wait a minute. You’re one of the protestors that were in that crowd the other day!” Comet Tail shouted. “And now you’re insulting Mister Zenith, who thoughtfully donated all the food and slaved over this event for days? This isn’t a political demonstration!”

Just then, a faint snarl alerted Spike to the presence of a monster lurking nearby.

It moved with quickness through the garbage, trying to quench its burning hunger.

It stopped, its instincts taking over.

Sensing the kill, it waited until the right moment.

Then it attacked!

It was about to feast, when it spotted even bigger rats.

“No...” Spike thought. “It can’t be. Not that. Please--not the Manticore.”

“Spike, what’s wrong?” Celestia asked as he headed out, toward the parking lot and the University beyond. “Spike?!”

She started to go after him then suddenly stopped.

She had seen him like this before. There wasn’t much she could say.

When Spike became obsessive, she knew that his mind was starting to pull and tug.

She also knew that Spike was the Equestrian Dragon.

He had gone through many trying times.

He was a hero.

He was strong.

Nothing could put him over the edge.

.

At the same time, there was a huge turnout of visitors at New Canterlot University.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, lads and ladettes, it is I, Pinkie Pie, your demigoddess of parties and mistress of merriment!” she announced. “Come one, come all. Step right up to the 27th New Canterlot University Open House Festival! Thrills, chills, unidentified spills... all that and more!”

The people could smell the yummy goodies within: cotton candy, snow cones, caramel apples, peanut brittle, funnel cakes, popcorn, fourteen blueberry pies and other delicious tidbits.

“Yes. So, come on and join in the fun,” Pinkie said. “There’s something here for everyone. You’ll find rhythm and romance, reason and rhyme, something ridiculous and something sublime!”

After Pinkie Pie’s proclamation, Headmistress Cadence stepped forward with a pair of scissors and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, let the Open House Festival begin!”

And she cut the red ribbon to begin the festivities.

There were many different games, including a dunk tank and a ring toss. One of the students, Watermelody, sat in front of an easel and painted portraits while others served food, from catfish to watermelon. There was even a puppet show.

Near the center of the school’s carnival, eight men lined up at a kissing booth with Rarity and Sweetcream Scoops at the front, but all the men stood in Sweetcream’s line.

Rarity sulked as she watched Sweetcream kiss a boy, and he gave her a dollar.

Sweetcream excused herself, saying she needed to touch up her red lipstick, and Rarity watched her go as she left the booth then she strut over to take her place.

“Roll up. Roll up!” Pinkie barked. “Get your very own kiss from Rarity, only one buck.”

“Make that all the kisses you want,” Rarity told Spike when she saw him. “No charge.”

“In. Your. Dreams,” he stated in retort.

.

Six minutes later, inside the University’s main building, Juniper Montage was checking on the second year students. When she found them, they were dressed in various male military garb... with Spike, in his old formal Air Force uniform, leading them out.

“What the Tartarus is this?!” she demanded.

“The boys were more interested in my company’s job fair-slash-barbecue, so I offered to personally escort them to it,” Spike explained.

“Stay away from me!” she snapped.

“Careful or I’ll see up your skirt,” he said. “Besides, kicking is in poor taste.”

“All of you... in the hallway. Now,” Juniper Montage stated.

The boys had never seen her so livid.

She hadn’t been this pissed off since she was still working as her uncle’s assistant and she shoved that Prench extra off a cliff... into a lake that was sixty feet below.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Juniper demanded.

“We wanted to enjoy the festival, too!” Snips replied.

“We even listened to the girls’ opinions,” Snails added.

“There are other ways to enjoy it, aren’t there?” she scolded them. “Why don’t you make yourselves useful instead of carrying on like a bunch of idiots?!” she shouted.

There was maybe one second of silence before Rumble looked Juniper straight in the face and said, “Fuck. You.”

Juniper staggered backward in shock at his words.

“Do you honestly believe we’ll do anything you say when you order us around with that bitchy attitude?” he went on.

“It doesn’t matter what we say or do,” Snips put in. “She never listens, anyway.”

“After all, she’s nothing but a man-hater,” Snails added. “Right?”

“Let’s go,” Featherweight said at last.

As they turned and were led away by Spike, Juniper remembered Headmistress Amore’s words to her a few short days ago:

“Still, that being said, they make a fair point. Couldn’t you at least listen to the guys a little more andtry to take their opinions into consideration?”

“I’m just saying you should be careful, or soon, you may find that you have dug yourself into a deep hole with no way out... and no one to help you.”

She realized that Cadence was right.

“It’s my fault that things came to this,” Juniper said quietly. Then she called after them, “Wait a minute. Please, wait!”

They stopped, only to glare when they turned their heads to look at her.

“Please help me,” she said humbly.

She was begging.

Rumble said, “You had your chance.” And he and the boys continued to follow Spike, leaving their female classmates to run the cosplay coffee shop alone.

At that precise moment, back outside, Rarity was puckered up for the next person in line.

“It’s me, stupid!” said Rainbow Dash.

“Holy what the Tartarus?!” Rarity exclaimed. “Why are you here? I don’t want my first kiss for Spike to be with you!”

“Quit yelling! I didn’t even do anything!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“I’m sorry,” Rarity apologized. “I just didn’t want to fall into a situation where I would have to start calling you my girlfriend.”

“That doesn’t even make sense,”

“So, start talking, girlfriend. Where’s Spike?”

“Don’t call me that,” Dash stated. “I couldn’t find him anywhere.”

“What? Where did he go?”

.

Once he saw the boys safely to the Zenith Industries Job Fair and Barbecue, Spike doubled back to New Canterlot University. As the Equestrian Dragon, he ran on all fours across the city’s rooftops, leaping across the gaps between them. Now, from a roof overlooking the University’s outdoor stage, he scanned the area, looking for anything other than humans.

An audience stood as Headmistress Amore, Dean Parenthesis and one other professor sat at a judges’ table before the stage, while Lemon Hearts operated a video camera, and they all watched as the curtain parted to reveal Pinkie Pie.

“I’m sure you have seen every old card trick. But this magician is beyond that old shtick,” she began as a fanfare played. “I’d like to present someone who will totally, completely, exactly, thoroughly, entirely, indescribably, wholly enrapture you!”

“My, what a buildup,” Rarity said, unimpressively.

“Behold... the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Pinkie exclaimed.

On cue, Trixie made her entrance via appearing in a puff of smoke.

She delighted her audience by starting with some classic sleight-of-hand illusions: shooting fire from her fingertips then pulling a small bouquet of flowers out of her hat.

“Not bad,” Sunset Shimmer admitted.

“Thank you. Thank you,” Trixie said. “For my next trick, I shall make something disappear before your very eyes.”

She pulled a red silk handkerchief out from her jacket pocket and caused it to change colors—from red to yellow and back to red again—by simply passing it through her empty hand before making the handkerchief vanish without a trace. Unfortunately, only one person clapped while another coughed.

“That’s fake as a three-dollar bill!” one guy shouted.

“We know you use mirrors or something!” the woman who was with him added.

“A nonbeliever and its bitch,” Trixie replied. “She we convert them?”

The crowd turned to look at the rude couple, thinking that Trixie was going to cast a spell on them so that they would switch bodies and/or brains, but all she did was cause them to magically switch clothes, at which the audience laughed.

“And now, as I prepare for my next trick, a little amazing magic music... Maestro?” she asked the student body orchestra, which began to play a drum roll. “Ladies and gentlemen, to conclude the performance of this great show, the Great and Powerful Trixie, that’s me, shall perform something you will absolutely refuse to believe!”

Trixie directed everyone’s attention to the stage’s curtains behind her, and they watched in awe as the curtains rose to reveal a monster that had a vaguely humanoid head, the body of a lion, and the wings of a bat! A bristling mane stretched down the creature’s back, and its long scorpion tail ended in a cluster of 24 deadly points like porcupine quills, which could impale targets even at impressive range.

“Oh, marshmallow,” Pinkie swore.

“What in the Tartarus is that?” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

It was a Manticore!

A monster in every sense of the word, manticores were fierce killers that hunted far and wide, and they worked together to take down particularly large or dangerous creatures—hunting as a pack often had the advantage of greater numbers—sharing the meal once a kill was made. They served wicked masters that treated them well and provided regular prey, like providing aerial support for an orc horde or a hobgoblin army. Another could serve as a hunting companion for a hill giant chief, or guard the entrance to a lamia’s lair.

Yet despite possessing a malevolent nature and the ability to converse, manticores weren’t particularly bright. In the course of attacking, they denigrated their foes and offered to kill them swiftly if they begged for their lives. If a manticore saw an advantage to be gained by sparing a creature’s life, it did, asking for a tribute or sacrifice equal to its loss of food. Indeed, this one was big, mean-looking and hungry; and as a man-eater, they left no remains... not even bones or clothing. Their greatest territorial rivals included chimeras, griffons and wyverns. In addition to these creatures, manticores feared dragons and avoided them.

The manticore inhaled deeply and roared, causing several members of the audience to gasp and others to run away, screaming in fear.

“Don’t worry,” Trixie told them. “Everything is under control.”

The manticore looked as though it was about to go on a rampage when a large, scaly creature of purple and green flew down from up on high and attacked the manticore with a strength which staggered the beast’s mind, and a savagery far beyond that of any wild animal!

“So the tales of the Equestrian Dragon are true...” Fluttershy breathed.

“Dragon! Dragon! Oh, dragon! Big dragon!” Pinkie cried. “Big dragon! Teeth! Teeth! So many teeth! Ooh! Ooh! Big teeth! Big teeth! Rows and rows and rows of teeth!”

And Juniper Montage, who had just happened to be passing by as the show was going on, ran up to the judges’ table, shouting, “Magical creatures! There are magical creatures onstage!”

“It is a magic show,” Dean Parenthesis said.

“I mean real magical creatures!” she kept shouting. “Living, breathing-- fire-breathing, for that matter!”

“Oh, don’t be absurd,” Cadence told her. “It’s all smoke and mirrors, pyrotechnics.”

“Pyrotechnics, my eyes!” Juniper Montage cursed. “It’s real, and I’ll prove it!”

Meanwhile, at the police station across town, Greta and Gabby had paid Gilda’s bail and had left the building when Officer Windstorm’s voice came across the police radio.

“Windstorm calling Silver Sable, come in Silver Sable,” she said.

“This is Sable, go ahead,” she replied.

“The Equestrian Dragon was just sighted at New Canterlot University. Thought you’d be interested,” Windstorm stated.

“I want my squad there, backed by S.W.A.T. and the choppers, and as many other uniformed officers as you can get!” she ordered. “You’re mine now, Dragon!”

.

The manticore roared again as it bounded from building to building and began its attack with a volley of tail spikes. Since it was outdoors and outnumbered, it used its wings to stay aloft, attacking the Equestrian Dragon from a distance with its tail spikes until they were almost completely depleted, and then it landed back on the outdoor stage.

The Equestrian Dragon grunted as he landed in front of the manticore, cracked his knuckles and said, “Come on, take a piece of me.”

The manticore snarled as it charged and began to use its claws and bite. Hooking one of his front claws under the manticore, the Equestrian Dragon heaved it away from the crowd. He didn’t want to kill the monster, but he didn’t want anyone else to get hurt either. As the manticore pounced on the Dragon, his right wing whacked a nearby tree and he hissed out a curse. Out of patience at this point, the Equestrian Dragon gripped the other monster’s tail then his clawed foot stomped on manticore’s back and it made contact with the other creature’s spine.

“Stay down,” the Dragon growled.

Out of the corner of his eye, the Equestrian Dragon saw Juniper Montage running straight toward them. Using its one remaining tail spike, the manticore flung it at the scaffolding above the stage. It tore through the fire curtain and a rope connected to one of the sandbags, both of which fell. And when the Equestrian Dragon tried to knock Juniper Montage back with his own tail, he got hit by the falling sandbag. The people all screamed as the Dragon slammed to the ground in front of the stage and, after succumbing to the pain, fell unconscious.

“Dragon down!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Worried, Fluttershy rushed to the Equestrian Dragon’s side—instead of running or fainting as Rarity just had—and cried, “Wake up. Come on, wake up. Oh, please, wake up!”

Juniper Montage pounced on the manticore’s tail and the creature spun. It whipped Juniper Montage off and she landed on one of the nearby tents, which collapsed beneath her.

Having dealt with her, the manticore sprung to its feet and advanced on the crowd, and Pinkie Pie stumbled back, screaming, “I’m too young to die! I don’t even taste good! I eat too much cake! Everyone always tells me how unappetizing I am!”

While the manticore was distracted by Pinkie, Rainbow Dash grabbed one of the blueberry pies from one of the food stands, gagged, and then hurled it at the monster.

The pie hit the manticore in the head and she shouted, “Your mother was a panther and your breath smells like moldy gooseberries!”

The monster roared at Rainbow Dash’s taunts, its fury increased. As far as monsters went, manticores were incredibly easy to distract. It turned its attention to her, swiping at her, as three huge flying creatures--two brown, one gray--dropped down from the sky to the ground and surrounded the manticore.

“More dragons?” Applejack asked.

“Those aren’t dragons, they’re griffons!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

The three griffons made sure the humans ran to safety before focusing their full attention to the manticore, which reared on its hind legs, turning its onslaught on the griffons. The gray griffon circled the manticore overhead, practically pinning it to the ground so that it couldn’t fly away, while the two brown griffons pelted it with rocks and food from the stalls surrounding them, their speed and agility equal to the manticore’s own.

As the gray griffon glanced at Fluttershy, who was still standing close by, the manticore swiped the young griffon to the ground. Then the manticore ran at Fluttershy who, instead of trying to forcibly subdue it, stepped into the manticore’s path and held out her hand. But the monster didn’t slow down. In fact, it did the exact opposite. The gray griffon covered her eyes as the manticore’s powerful legs propelled it forward... then it suddenly halted.

The air fell quiet as Fluttershy and the manticore stared at each other, and the three griffons looked at them in confusion.

The manticore purred as it offered Fluttershy its paw, and she saw something stuck in it.

“That’s a good kitty,” Fluttershy said after she pulled the thorn out.

While they were all sidetracked, the Equestrian Dragon came to and slithered away, completely out of sight, into the shadows, and shifted back into human form.

Suddenly, the air became filled with a noise completely unlike the manticore’s purring.

“What’s that?” Applejack asked.

“It sounds like helicopter blades,” Pinkie said.

“Well, it’s not the Eye Witness News Team,” Sunset Shimmer commented.

The people panicked as a police helicopter hovered close to—and opened fire on—the manticore just as Trixie struck a dramatic pose and chanted, “Abbigo airee agee attomb!”

Then, as the manticore launched itself back into the air, knocking the helicopter into a spin, the beast and the three griffons vanished in a poof of smoke, and the crowds gasped and then cheered.

“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash shouted as people threw money and roses at Trixie, who blew kisses to them.

It was obvious who had this talent show locked up.

“No contest,” Headmistress Cadence said. “The Great and Powerful Trixie wins!”

As she presented Trixie with the trophy, Applejack, Sunset Shimmer, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity gathered outside the University’s main gate.

“Did you see what I saw?” Sunset Shimmer asked.

“Yeah, I saw it,” Dash replied. “And I’m going back to find out what it was.”

“We can’t. It’s gone!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Police officers swarmed the University’s grounds as paramedics saw to any wounded, but the manticore, the three griffons and the Equestrian Dragon were nowhere to be seen.

They had all vanished without a trace!

Meanwhile, Juniper Montage, who had finally forced her way out of the collapsed tent, approached Lemon Hearts and shouted, “Tell me you got that on tape!”

“I did!” she replied. “The camera was running the whole time.”

Juniper tore the video camera from Lemon Hearts’ hands and hit the rewind button, but when she played it back... nothing but static.

It had been erased.

“But-- but how?” Juniper Montage asked.

“Perhaps I can help,” Spike said as he, Gilda, Greta and Gabby stepped forward, out of the shadows. “I am a trained and licensed medical practitioner.”

“You’re a doctor?” Ditzy Doo asked.

It was true. In addition to owning a multitrillion-dollar corporation, Spike just happened to be a Ph.D. from Buckeley.

“Yes, I am a doctor, and I’m afraid I must tell you that all I saw was this fire curtain fall. It must have been loose. I’m sorry, but there are no such things as monsters or dragons. I suspect that between the combination of lights and the dark, coupled with the long day you’ve just had, you didn’t quite see what you thought you saw. It could have been a rare type of fatigue-induced group hypnosis... I’d recommend cutting back on the caffeine as well,”

Fuming, Juniper Montage stalked up to him and asked, in a surprisingly controlled voice, “What kind of fool do you take me for?”

“Don’t know,” Ditzy replied for him. “How many kinds are there?”

After staring Juniper Montage down, Spike joined the emergency responders.

He asked the girls if they were okay, and Fluttershy said, “Oh, Spike, I loved that dragon. Those eyes, there was something very familiar about them, as if I had seen them before... it was like I already knew him. It was so real. It made me believe he really exists.”

“He does exist, Fluttershy,” Spike told her. “Up here,” He pointed to her head. “And in here,” he said, pointing to her heart.

Back in the courtyard, Juniper opened the camera to get a closer look at the videotape.

Then she noticed something on the side of the video camera.

A small, round device that looked like the rest of the camera, but it wasn’t.

It was an electromagnet.

Before being put on tape, video was little more than a magnetic recording, and the electromagnet rearranged all the low magnetic sequencing that created the image.

Juniper Montage heaved a colossal sigh. “They can’t tell me what I’ve seen, because only I know what I’ve seen!”

Spike, Gabby, Gilda and Greta walked back to Zenith Industries as the City’s Finest and the EMTs did their jobs and eventually dispersed. Spike would be sore for the next few days, but he hadn’t suffered any permanent damage. Fortunately, the University was able to close out their open house with the Rainbooms playing under a fireworks display.

Things didn’t work out so well afterward, though. The open house weekend had been an all but complete waste. In the end, New Canterlot University’s female-to-male student body ratio went from a 70/30 split to 80 percent female and 20 percent male.

.

Later that night, Mr. Pink entered a club in a dark alley in Manechester, Connecticolt. He hated clubs, especially this club. It was a jarring combination of pretentious snobbery and weird techno shit—like a millionaire nerd had got bored and decided to build a place where he could hang out with the cool kids. Normally, he wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like this, but it was one of the only safe (and neutral) places to meet with bounty hunters. There weren’t many of his kind in a mostly human city like Manechester, a place smack dab in the middle of the New Trotland wilderness.

Pink sat on a fake leather stool at the bar and spoke to the man that was already there.

“He’s there... in New Canterlot. One second they weren’t listening to a word I said but as soon as I mentioned his name... they couldn’t hear enough,” Pink said as he lit a cigarette. “And suddenly they got very interested in who you were. So I laid the story down nice and thick.”

“How thick?” the bounty hunter asked.

“Pretty thick,” Pink replied. “I told them you were the biggest guy I’d ever seen... Okay, so I blew it out of proportion a little, but they bought it. If they aren’t shitting bricks by now, they will be soon,” he promised.

“Where do I go?”

“The Main Street Bar & Grill would be a good place to start. Just don’t turn it into another massacre like last time,”

“That wasn’t my fault. They started it,”

“Of course, whatever,” said Pink. “Just remember, Grogar is the one you want. He has plenty of underlings, but without them, he’s as good as dead. So try to save your bullets.”

“Suddenly... you’re my only friend,”

“Well, I do feel some responsibility for you,” Pink said. “Just one question: What happens when Grogar’s dead?”

“When Grogar’s dead... it’s over. He’s the last one,”

“End of payback, an eye for an eye... Are you finally going to be satisfied?”

“Yes,”

“I hope so, because I don’t have the stomach for this anymore,”

“You never did,”