Twilight had gotten the world, or at least the world everypony told her she was supposed to get.
One year had passed since she’d become an alicorn princess. To celebrate, Celestia had thrown a party extravaganza at Canterlot Castle, one so big that it put the Grand Galloping Gala to shame. The night was young when the celebrations had started, and yet the castle was already so packed that one could hardly be blamed for believing that half of Equestria had arrived. A barrage of fireworks erupted in the starry sky, but the explosions were simply another noise amongst the cacophony and commotion of the countless guests. For this wasn’t the celebration of any old princess; it was the anniversary of Twilight Sparkle, the pony who had led the Element bearers against Nightmare Moon, Discord, and other threats. If anypony’s success was worth being proud of, it was hers.
Yet among the sea of ponies celebrating within the castle, there was one pony who was surprisingly absent: Twilight.
Dressed in an ornate gown, the pony of honor kept herself away from the party and stood atop a large balcony on one of the castle’s higher floors. Since the celebrations were confined to the magnificent ballrooms and halls on the lower floors, a balcony such as this was the perfect place for her to be with her thoughts. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the party. After all, the other princesses and all her friends were attending. Instead, it was that she couldn’t approve of what the party was about.
It wasn’t as though Twilight disliked her duties as princess. Serving Equestria had always brought her joy, and being able to spend more time with the other princesses was definitely a plus. It was more a feeling that being royalty wasn’t what she was meant to do, despite what everypony else told her. It was like being forced to do a special talent that wasn’t your own, or being given somepony else’s cutie mark. The feeling had started soon after Twilight had become a princess. At first, she was able to ignore the feeling, treating it as nothing more than a thorn pricking the bottom of her hoof. But now the thorn had pierced the keratin and was digging deeper into her with every passing day. Knowing what she was like, Twilight knew it was only a matter of time before she finally snapped under the pressure.
There just had to be more to her life than this, though Twilight didn’t know exactly what that meant. Perhaps she could become a teacher? Yes, as a teacher she would be able to read and study to her heart’s content. She could then share that knowledge with ponies who were just as hungry for information as she was.
Whatever the solution, one thing was clear; she could never tell any of this to Celestia. The last thing the princess deserved to hear was that her years of training a successor had gone to waste. Twilight wasn’t about to disappoint her mentor any time soon or any time at all. Despite all the friendship lessons Twilight had learned, the truth was just too painful to reveal. Even her friends couldn't know, as they'd no doubt try to convince her to tell the princess the truth. For the sake of Celestia and Equestria, it was best for her to forgo her own happiness for the greater good.
The stress of keeping these feelings to herself, never to be shared, was slowly but surely eating her from the inside. As a result, Twilight had decided it was best to remain alone with her thoughts. So there she stood, hours spent simply watching the party from afar and thinking. It wasn’t until the sound of hoofsteps echoed from behind that she was brought back to reality. She forced a smile in case it was one of her friends or Celestia. Instead, it was a male pegasus wearing the armor of the Royal Guard who walked out and stopped beside her. Just as she had feared--her absence had understandably worried her friends. That being said, it was weird of them to send a guard to find her instead of trying to locate her themselves. Regardless of why he was here, Twilight let out a heavy sigh and prepared herself to leave with the guard.
To Twilight’s surprise, the pegasus remained silent. In fact, the pegasus hadn’t even looked her way. Instead, he took off his helmet and hung his head, hiding his facial features beneath a veil of shadow. He gave a sad sigh, but there also seemed to be a growl mixed in with it. His hooves looked to be shaking with anger as if he was ready to punch a wall at any moment. Whoever this guard was, one thing was clear--Twilight couldn’t leave him in such a state. Regardless of her position as Princess of Friendship, she knew she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she abandoned anypony in their time of need.
But what was the best way to comfort him? Twilight wasn’t good one-on-one with ponies like Fluttershy, and she didn’t have the contagious cheeriness of Pinkie Pie. She wasn’t straight-to-the-point like Applejack or Dash, nor was she as charming as Rarity. Perhaps humor? She did remember a joke that Pinkie had once told.
“Uh… hey there.” Twilight masked her usual awkwardness with a confident smile and shifted her body toward the pegasus. He turned his head toward her, but his features remained hidden by darkness. His sighing ended, leaving it up to Twilight to end the awkward silence. “So tell me, what did the horse say when it fell?”
The silence lingered.
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” Twilight laughed with a loud snort. The pegasus continued to stare at her in silence, turning Twilight’s laughter into a series of whimpers. Twilight was just about to fly away in embarrassment when the pegasus finally burst into laughter as well. Except his laughter didn’t sound like the type directed at a joke, but more at the pony telling the joke.
Twilight hung her head in shame, wondering where she went wrong. The joke was one of Pinkie’s, so it couldn’t have been that bad, right? That’s when she remembered--this joke wasn’t one of Pinkie’s. It was one that Pinkie had warned her friends not to tell since it could be considered offensive to elderly ponies. Great, just what Twilight needed on this night.
“Please, don’t be sad,” the pegasus said, causing Twilight to lift her head. “To open up with a joke like that, you have to be the bravest pony in all of Equestria.” He stepped out of the shadows, revealing himself to be around Twilight’s age. The child-like look in his deep blue eyes accentuated his goofy smile, but it was his spiky blue hair that made it clear that he was a pony more interested in having fun than ever doing anything serious.
Twilight would’ve gotten mad at him if his goofball voice hadn’t made it clear that everything he’d ever say would be some sort of joke. “I think you might be giving me too much credit. If that were the case, I’d be downstairs at the party, right?” she said, more to herself than to him. There was something familiar about this pegasus. Spiky blue hair, orange coat, shield with lightning cutie mark… “I’ve seen you before in the castle, haven’t I?”
“Probably. I’d say the same, but every foal and filly in Equestria knows who you are. The name’s Flash Sentry.”
“Yes, that’s it. You’re Princess Cadence’s new captain of the Royal Guard.”
Flash hung his head as his goofy expression shifted into a frown. “Yeah, I am.” But as quickly as the sadness had come, Flash’s trademark smile was back on his face and he raised his head. “But enough about me. Why are you here all alone? This is your party, for crying out loud. You should be having the night of your life.”
Twilight glanced around, waiting for her mind to think of a good enough lie. “Just wanted to gaze at the night sky. Nothing like seeing the stars from up here in Canterlot.”
“But isn’t there less light in Ponyville?”
Twilight wanted to smack herself on the head. Nothing like social awkwardness to turn myself into an idiot.
As Flash let out a laugh, he shot Twilight a wink. “Don’t worry, you don’t need to explain yourself. I’m here to 'gaze at the night sky' too.” His comment put Twilight at ease and she followed him to the balcony’s edge. He stared at the breathtaking view of the kingdom ahead--the towering mountains, blanketing forests, swirling clouds, and never-ending fields. A smile crept up his face. Not his usual goofy smile, but one of pure bliss. “Uh, hey, I’m about to escape this place and explore the night. You wanna join?”
Twilight felt crazy for even considering the offer. Then again, this pony was trustworthy enough to become Cadence’s captain of the Royal Guard, and it wasn’t as if many of her friends hadn’t been overly forward at first as well. Also, as Princess of Friendship, it was her job to make new friends, right? Besides, Flash’s idea sounded a lot more fun than staying on this balcony all night.
“I’m in,” she said, ready for something different.
…………………………………………………………….
“Not in! I am definitely not in!” Twilight screamed, shaking in panic. She stood beside Flash atop what he had called the highest cloud in Equestria, and it was hard to argue against that description. All of Equestria lay below: Cloudsdale nearby to the west, the Crystal Empire far to the north, the Celestial Sea in the distant east, and the Macintosh Hills deep to the south. Twilight struggled to breathe due to the thin, crisp air, and she felt like an icicle due to the frigid cold. She had no clue how Rainbow Dash or any pegasus could have ever gotten used to heights such as this.
“You know what to do.” Flash stared at the drop with his eyes widened from glee. “Jump.”
Twilight resisted the urge to look down, but her effort was in vain. All she could see was the fifty-thousand foot drop she had consented to. In her stupidity, she had agreed to follow Flash to his favorite place in all of Equestria for what he had said would be an ultimate thrill ride. And now, she had to jump off. Not fly off and slowly make her way down. No, she had to leap off, speed toward the earth, and could only use her wings when she was close to the ground. Why? Well, it seemed that this Flash character was completely crazy. Not Pinkie Pie, weird but lovable, crazy. No, he was completely off his rocker.
“You ready? Cuz I am.” Flash began shaking almost as much as Twilight did, but from anticipation rather than panic.
“Look.” Twilight tried her best to sound reasonable. “I know what I agreed to, but now that I’m here… let’s just say that I’m having second thoughts.”
Flash snapped himself out of his euphoria and shifted his gaze to her. “You’re in control.” His words caused Twilight to raise an eyebrow. What exactly did he mean by that? “Whether you want to do this jump, how far you want to fall before using your wings… It’s all up to you.”
It’s all up to you. Those words were refreshing. For the longest time Twilight’s life had felt like a regimented class to her. Whether it was learning friendship lessons, stopping villains, or advancing in her royal duties, everything had felt planned, as if pre-written by some outside force. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed every second of it. After all, if there was one thing Twilight loved, it was school. But even a nerd like her needed a recess every once in a while where she could do things on impulse.
Twilight took a deep, long breath to compose herself, after which she said, “I’ll jump first.” Flash was taken aback, but let her step to the cloud’s edge. Twilight stared down at the drop, this time with confidence. If she could go from a pony too terrified to make friends to the Princess of Friendship, then she could do this. “It’s up to me,” she repeated to herself. Just the sound of the statement made her smile. Keeping her eyes open, she used her hooves and wings to propel herself forward. Her heart sank and the gust of wind blew her mane back. She was airborne, flying forward beneath Luna’s moon. Her speed decreased until the pull of gravity yanked her toward the earth. She was in free fall, speeding toward the ground. Canterlot lay below, but it was too small to make out clearly.
Layers of cloud sped past her. The air grew thicker and warmer. The furthest edges of Equestria retreated past the horizon. She could make out Canterlot Castle from the mass of buildings below. Even from this altitude, the fireworks and lights of the party were unmistakable. She wondered if the party guests were pondering where she’d run off to. Knowing her friends, they were no doubt worried and looking for her right this instant. I should’ve told them. I should’ve told Princess Celestia. This party, this title… It’s not me. Even if I’d make the best princess, it doesn’t mean I want to be one.
The view of Canterlot was clear now. Only a few seconds separated Twilight from crashing into the castle. Mustering up all the might she could, she used her wings to slow her fall and she propelled herself forward. Hidden by the darkness, she glided over the castle. She tried her best to look through the many windows, but she couldn't spot her friends or Celestia.
Twilight continued gliding downward until she landed on a field below Canterlot Mountain. Even though the fall was over, her heart was banging against her ribcage. She couldn’t believe that she’d done that. Not that it was anything particularly dangerous. Twilight had fought threats on the level of Discord, after all. It was more that this was something that would never be on her schedule. It was against her schedule, in fact. She was supposed to be at the party right now, not doing who knows what with who knows who. She felt lighter, not only from adrenaline, but from freedom. Like she was no longer trapped in a position she wanted nothing to do with.
Twilight spent the few moments before Flash landed beside her basking in the feeling of freedom. “So, I’m guessing you’re down to do that again,” he said with a chuckle.
“No,” Twilight said, taking him aback. “This time, I choose what we do.”
With a smile, Flash nodded.
For the next few hours, Twilight and Flash did whatever idea happened to pop into her mind, whether it be flying through one of the nearby forests, sneaking into a nearby Ursa Major cave, or flying to the top of Canterlot Mountain. Before starting, Twilight had been tempted to make a list of things they could do, but in the end, she decided against it. The best part about all this was that it was unplanned, based on pure impulse. It reminded her of when she had first met her friends. Before meeting them, her life had already been mapped out in her mind: Get good grades, make Celestia proud, and advance up the hierarchy in whatever way the princess wanted her to. So when she had been forced to go to Ponyville and make friends to stop Nightmare Moon, it was something she could have never planned for or foreseen, which was what made it so special. Twilight was always going to be a list-maker and planner extraordinaire, but she couldn’t deny that she’d almost forgotten what it was like to make decisions based on her feelings rather than logic.
It was almost sunrise when the two finished their night. They flew over Canterlot, taking in the view of the bustling nightlife from above.
“I don’t like you. I hope you know that.” Twilight’s tone was playful, like that of a pony without a care in the world.
“Kind of harsh for the Princess of Friendship, don’t you think?” Wanting to push her buttons further, Flash bumped into her, knocking her to the side.
Not one to miss getting even, Twilight used her magic to knock him to a nearby cloud. He needed a moment to return to her, but when he did, the two looked each other in the eye and shared a devious smirk. She hoped for him to bump into her again. Perhaps so she could send him flying to another cloud, or maybe she just enjoyed the feel of his body against hers. “I’d argue it’s not harsh enough. You knew just what to say to make me jump off that cloud. You knew just what to say to make me do all of this.”
“What you wanted to do was up to you. I just reminded you of that.”
“And that just so happened to be what made me jump off. Kind of a coincidence, don’t you think?”
“Call it manipulation, or call it me finding a part of you that was always there.” The two increased their altitude to make sure nopony below caught sight of them. “Up to you, Princess. I always did hear you were the paranoid one of the Element bearers.”
“And do you believe that? That I’m paranoid?”
“I don’t know. Am I talking to the mare who was too scared to jump off that cloud, or am I talking to the one who wanted to fly to the top of Canterlot Mountain without stopping to get a jacket first?”
Twilight hated how smug Flash was, but at the same time, she kind of liked it. Adding to that, he was a little too good at getting her to do things she didn’t want to at first, and he had way too much fun pushing her buttons. He was the type of boy she’d make sure to stay far away from as a filly, but now his playfulness only served to draw her closer to him. He was adventurous, but not in the way Rainbow Dash was. Throughout the night, he’d been more interested in pushing Twilight out of her comfort zone than having fun himself. She appreciated that. No, it was more than that. She found that attractive, enough for her cheeks to tint a rosy pink. Enough to make her have to hide her blush to save herself from embarrassment. And when he touched her, even if it was only a playful push… it was electrifying, if there were any words to describe it all. She tried to think of the science of why his touch felt so much different than anypony else's, but in the end, she didn’t care about the why. All that mattered was how she felt.
More than anything, though, Flash was right about one thing, that there was more to Twilight than the book-loving, schedule-obsessing nerd. The more Twilight thought back to her adventures, the more she realized that she loved fighting villains and tackling dangerous problems. She may have been a dork who wanted to spend all day reading books alone, but she also had a crazy side to her. Perhaps it was time to fully accept that. “Hey, you know what we should do next.”
“The sun’s almost up. I actually feel bad for taking you away from the party for this long. Let’s--”
“Let’s do something that you’re afraid of. It’s time for me to push your buttons.”
Flash took a deep breath. “If that’s what you want… but I know this is going to end bad.”
………………………………………..
“Teaching? What on Celestia’s earth is so bad about that?” Twilight yelled.
Being a stallion of his word, Flash had let out his greatest fear, and so the two stood on a field near Canterlot to… well, to be honest, Twilight wasn’t sure what they were going to do. Was he supposed to teach her?
Shaking his head, Flash let out a growl. “It’s not teaching--”
“Because I feel downright offended. Fearing teaching is the same as fearing knowledge itself. Without the oral and written transmission of knowledge, we would still be living as the caveponies did.”
Flash raised an eyebrow. “You done?”
“Well, I’m not wrong!”
Flash let out a sigh. “I’m scared of school. It’s not even fear. It’s more like disgust.”
Speaking of disgust, that was the best word to describe the expression on Twilight’s face right now.
“Look, when I was a colt I would feel trapped in a classroom. All I wanted to do was go outside and explore the world, but instead, I was stuck behind a desk learning about stuff I didn’t care about. So sorry if I’m not too big on teaching. Maybe I’d be less harsh if things had changed.”
“What, like the education system changing?”
Flash turned his head away. “Never mind. Let’s just--”
“No, I want to know what you meant. If I’m going to spend the night with somepony then I better know who they are.”
Silence lingered until Flash finally responded. “Let’s just say that I feel as trapped being a Royal Guard.” His gaze turned into a glare, one directed at himself.
“I don’t mean to sound rude, and I don’t know what your special talent is, but you don’t have to be a Royal Guard if you don’t want to.”
Flash scoffed. “Like you’re one to talk.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
Flash shifted his gaze to Twilight. “I could tell why you were moping around on that balcony. All of Equestria was celebrating that Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic and savior extraordinaire, is a princess, except the princess herself. If that doesn’t make it obvious, then I don’t know what will.”
Twilight took back liking his smugness. Twilight took back even thinking for a second that such a pretentious pony like him could ever be attractive. “You don’t know anything about me, okay.”
“Then you don’t know anything about me either. So don’t talk like it’s so easy for me to just quit the Royal Guard.”
Anger burned within Twilight. She should’ve just returned to the castle, apologized for her disappearance, and salvaged the night with her friends. At the same time, she couldn’t have this Flash guy blabber anything to Celestia about her not liking princesshood. “Fine, I don’t know you. So tell me, why can’t you quit?”
“Why do you think?”
“Because you feel an obligation to protect others? To serve the kingdom despite what you really want?”
Flash let out a chuckle. “Maybe you do know me. Yeah, kind of. Back when I was a colt, I used to ditch all my responsibilities and just do my own thing. I’d explore whatever I could. This world is just so big. Even if you lived to a thousand years old, you’d still never get done exploring. But whenever I’d explore, I’d forget about others, even when they needed me most. It was like I'd forget that they even existed, and all I cared about was myself."
“So you became a guard to make up for that?”
Flash nodded. “I’m selfish, Twilight. Always have been. I was actually sent by Princess Cadence to find you and return you to the party. Instead… well, I shouldn’t have to explain the rest.”
Twilight stepped closer, putting her hoof over his shoulder to console him. “I can relate. Before meeting my friends, I used to but barriers between me and everypony else, even though others wanted to open themselves up to me. I just didn’t care about them, even though I should have. And here I am being a bad friend again. My friends are probably worried sick about me.”
“They are.”
Twilight needed to take a deep breath to keep herself somewhat calm. “But in the end, I’d still rather be in your position. If you quit, you’ll only be disappointing yourself. If I quit, I’ll disappoint the Princess.”
“She’ll understand. It’s Princess Celestia we’re talking about.”
He had a point. A very good point, in fact.
“If you quit,” Flash continued, “you can still serve others as an Element bearer. If I quit, I’ll never have as good an opportunity to serve the kingdom. I was always jealous of you and your friends, you know. You all would have such grand adventures, while I was trapped in a set of sweaty armor.”
Despite his points, Twilight remained silent, contemplating what would happen if she told her mentor the truth. The most likely scenario would be that Princess Celestia would accept her choice to quit, as would her friends. But there was that small chance, that doubt stabbing her in the back of her mind, that the princess would be disappointed. She knew that doubt to be nothing more than paranoia, but she couldn’t help but feel it. Just as she was a crazy pony ready to defeat god-like beings, she was also a coward. This was why she needed her lists and her lists about lists. She couldn’t bear uncertainty about the future. If there was even a one-percent chance of her relationship with Celestia never being the same, then that was one-percent too much. “Promise me you won’t tell anypony the truth.”
“Twilight, you’ll be miserable--”
“Doesn’t matter.” Twilight’s heart began to race, causing her breathing to become labored. Great, another panic attack. “B-Besides, it’ll work out in the end. It always does. I hated school at first because I’d always get bullied. Now look at me. I’ll end up loving being a princess. I will.”
Flash put his hoof around Twilight and stroked her mane to calm her. She closed her eyes and gave in to the feeling of his hoof running through her hair. With every stroke, she tried to let go of her worries and her dilemmas. She hated feeling this way. It was no different than when she had forgotten to write a friendship report to Celestia and panicked. Except she was supposed to be better this time. She was supposed to have overcome her anxiety. Then why was she still like this? Why couldn’t she beat this personality defect?
Flash stroked her mane again. Twilight just wanted to let go of this panic within her, the panic that had always resided inside her. It was always something with her: Bullies, getting into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, making the princess proud, making sure to learn new friendship lessons, being the best princess she could be… and now this. Always something eating away at her mind day and night. She wanted to feel like she did when she had jumped off that cloud. She wanted to feel nothing at all. Free. She didn’t care what she had to do to recapture that feeling.
It’s all up to me.
Whatever she chose to do next, it was up to her. She chose to let go. No more logic. Only feeling. Only impulse.
She kissed Flash. She didn’t feel his lips pressing against hers. She didn’t feel anything at all, and that was just how she wanted it.
It took Flash a moment to return to his senses and push her away. “No, you’re not yourself right now. This is wrong.” His voice was stern, complementing his glare.
Flash was right. This was wrong. But Twilight would have been lying if she said she was in control of her actions. She had turned her mind off, freeing it from the burden of stress and worry. She had no masters other than her innermost desires. Her soul told her to be free, and there was no greater way to be free than exploring her body. Twilight knew every geographical location in Equestria, the history of every kingdom on earth, and the name of every constellation in the sky, but she had yet to explore her own body. She had never even touched herself in the way a mare should.
Did she like this stallion? Perhaps that was the wrong question. The better question was: If her body was capable of making her feel fear and stress capable of driving her to the edge of insanity, then surely it was also capable of the opposite. Surely it was capable of giving her a pleasure that would erase the years of never-ending worry.
Gazing at Flash with seductive eyes, Twilight put her hoof over his lips to shut him up. “Don’t worry, I want this.”
No longer able to reject her advances, Flash gave in to his temptations. The two kissed by a nearby tree, losing themselves in the feeling of nothingness. Twilight was ready for Flash to do whatever he wanted to her. She didn’t want to worry about the future or regret about the past any longer. The present was all that mattered. They ripped each other’s clothes off, shedding themselves of the responsibilities the world had cursed them with. What happened next, Twilight didn’t know, nor did she care to know. She was no longer in her own mind, and that was just how she wanted it.
When the two finished, they lay in each other’s hooves as the sun rose over the mountains ahead. Twilight snuggled against his chest, losing herself in the calm. Whatever had happened, she had no regrets. Her body felt weightless, as if she was floating. The weight of her worries had been lifted, even if only for this night.
If only Flash could have felt the same way. He hung his head in utter disgust and kept it facing away from Twilight, as if he couldn't muster up the courage to look her in the eye. "It's okay," Twilight whispered, running her hoof through his mane. "I wanted this. You didn't pressure me into anything."
Growing a smile, Flash stroked Twilight's mane and let himself enjoy this moment of bliss. Twilight joined him, letting the gentle morning breeze put her at ease. Everything about this moment was perfect. The warm rays of sunlight, the chirping birds, the rustling of leaves, the aroma of blooming flowers, even the feeling of the cool grass beneath her.
But no matter how good this moment was, it was only a moment. When she returned to her life, she would still be stuck in a role she didn't care for. No amount of temporary escape could change her fate. Her heart began to race as it always did when she was faced with an uncertain future. Except this time she fought back. She was done letting stress get the best of her.
"I have an idea. When we return to the castle, I have to tell Princess Celestia that I don't want to be a princess anymore, and you have to quit the Royal Guards."
Flash's face turned pale.
“We gave each other a night we’ll never forget. So now let’s give each other a life we’ll never want to run away from.” Twilight stroked Flash’s cheek, trying her best to put him at ease. “Promise me. But just remember that in the end, it’s up to you.” She shot him a wink.
Flash needed to take a deep breath to compose himself before he nodded.
"When we're done we'll meet up where we first met," Twilight said, but Flash couldn’t even muster up half a smile. A burst of excitement overcame her as she realized what meeting him again meant. "You could meet my friends too! I know you'll get along great with them. Ooooh, I can't wait."
Twilight grabbed him for a hug that he didn't return. Despite her excitement, she knew how bad of a friend she had become. She'd been hiding her true feelings about princesshood from her friends for a year now, and she had turned what was supposed to be a night of fun into a night of worry for them. She owed her friends and Celestia much more than an apology, but she was ready to make it up to them. She was going to tell Celestia the truth, make things right, and beat her anxiety once and for all.
Twilight's bliss lasted until Flash finally spoke. "You're gonna hate me." She turned to him, more confused than she'd ever been. "I'm selfish. Always have been. If I don't control it… if I'm not in the guards, then I'll hurt ponies again, even you."
Twilight was unsure of how to feel. She clearly wanted to see him again, and she respected him for his honesty. But what if he did end up hurting her?
"T-Then you'll hurt me.” Twilight struggled to let out the words. "You deserve to be free and happy, just as I do. My entire life has felt like this one never-ending test, and I can't wait to rip up the exam paper. You deserve the same freedom."
With the plan set, it was time for them to enter the future. They returned to Canterlot Castle, where hundreds of guards were searching the grounds and surrounding city for Twilight. When the guards saw her, they froze. Twilight stood tall and gave them her most confident gaze. "Tell Princess Celestia that I'd like to have a private meeting with her.”
It was time for her to tell the truth.
…………..
As always, Twilight’s paranoia had been nothing more than that. Paranoia.
She stood on the balcony where she had first met Flash, done with pouring her soul out to Celestia. Flash had been right. Celestia had understood Twilight’s concerns and had no issue with her pursuing a different role in life. Celestia’s only condition was that she had to serve Equestria in some way beyond the Elements, which Twilight had no issue agreeing to. Celestia’s biggest worry had actually been regarding Twilight’s disappearance. Twilight apologized for scaring everypony and promised to make it up for ruining the party. Always the understanding pony, Celestia accepted the apology and showed her excitement regarding Twilight’s new path in life.
Twilight had also apologized to her friends, who had been searching throughout Canterlot for her all night. Her friends were not mad about her disappearance, but were furious at her for keeping her dislike of princesshood a secret from them. In the end, however, they forgave her, just as she would forgive them for anything. The past dealt with, Twilight took the easiest breath of her life. She was free. She knew her battle with anxiety was not over, but she was more confident than ever that she’d win it.
There was only one factor left to deal with now: Flash. While Twilight had been meeting with Celestia, Flash had left to discuss his role with Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. That was an hour ago, and Twilight had not seen the three of them since. She wished Flash all the best with quitting and couldn’t wait for him to return with the good news. Not only so they could begin their new lives together, but so she could introduce him to her friends, who were waiting on the first floor.
Did this make them boyfriend and girlfriend? Twilight had never really asked him, but the prospect of a dorky pony like her having a boyfriend made her want to fly into the sky and scream with glee.
Hours passed, but Flash never returned.
Worried, Twilight teleported downstairs and found her brother and Cadence. When they told her what had happened, she wished that she had never left the balcony.
It turned out that Flash had indeed quit the Royal Guard, only to fly away from the castle right after to begin his new life of exploration, as if he'd completely forgotten about her.
Struggling to hold back her tears, Twilight fled into a nearby room and locked herself inside. Her friends banged on the door, but Twilight used her magic to make sure nopony else would ever open it. She was such an idiot. For trusting him. For opening herself up to somepony she had only known for a night. He hadn’t just taken her trust; he’d stolen her virginity, something she could never get back. She felt disgusted seeing her reflection in the nearby mirror, because every time she did, it reminded her that he had touched her. He had put his disgusting hooves all over her body, and she was the pony who let him do it.
Twilight’s heart pounded against her chest. Her anxiety returned, causing her to pant. She needed an escape again, not just from her mind, but from her life. She needed to get out of her head, except unlike the previous night, she didn't have Flash to ease the panic.
That was when she realized: She never liked Flash. He was only ever an escape for her. A way for her to deal with her stress.
While it was true that she found him attractive and fun to be with, that was never the reason she’d spent the night with him. She had needed an escape from the party, nothing more. At first, the escape was the balcony. Then, the escape was him.
Even the sex had been nothing more than an escape. Even if Twilight had met her dream stallion, she wouldn’t have slept with him during their first night together. And yet, she had slept with Flash, but only because she needed an escape from her anxiety. She had used him.
Disgust wasn’t a strong enough word for what Twilight felt about herself. She had let some boy touch her in the most intimate way possible just so she could free herself from stress for a night. She was beyond pathetic.
It was time for a change. She didn’t need Flash to overcome her anxiety. Regardless of whether she ever saw him again, she was going to be stronger from now on. If she had something she needed to say, she wasn’t going to repress it for a year and make herself miserable. She was going to start treating herself and her mind right.
As for Flash… despite everything, she couldn’t hate him. He had warned her about his selfishness, and she was the one who had told him that it was okay to think about only himself. If there was anypony to hate, it was herself for expecting better of him. Besides, it was only because of him that she had found the courage to tell Celestia the truth.
In the end, she smiled for him. He was finally happy and living freely, just as she would be from now on. She had her whole life to look forward to.
Twilight’s heart calmed and she was able to breathe with ease again. What was there to be stressed about? She had the best friends a pony could ask for, the most understanding mentor there could be, and a life she couldn’t wait to live. There would always be troubles and dilemmas, but that was part of life, and frankly what made it so fun at times.
Twilight opened the door and gave her worried friends a smile to calm them. "Let's make this a fun day," she said, ready for the future.
