Daring Do and the Ditzy of Infinite Possibility

by Antiquarian

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Griffons, Derpy Hooves, Daring Do, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 16016

Ditzy Doo thought it was pretty weird when she stumbled into a Daring Do adventure involving Caballeron, the vicious griffons of Talon, and some kind of magical Goblet. Then she bumped into herself, and things went downhill from there.

Ditzy Doo thought it was pretty weird when she stumbled into a Daring Do adventure involving Caballeron, the vicious griffons of Talon, and some kind of magical Goblet. Then she bumped into herself, and things went downhill from there.

A Most Delightful Ponidox submission.

This story occurs in the same universe as Homecoming, which diverges from canon at the end of Season 4. While reading Homecoming would give some context, it's not necessary for enjoying Daring Do and the Ditzy of Infinite Possibility. You can also check out this blogpost for context but, again, purely optional.

My Little Pony and its contents are the property of Hasbro, Inc. and its affiliates. Please support the official release.

Published 2020-10-19 02:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-15 00:55:51 UTC

Lore and Context (Optional Chapter)

Author's Note

Now that the contest for this story is over, I'm following the advice of one reader and including the text of a related blogpost (How to Lore: "Homecoming" and "Daring Do and the Ditzy of Infinite Possibility") here.

Since these stories diverge significantly from canon, I wrote the blog so people could have some context. Most of the blog consists of in-universe snippets from newspapers, interviews, memoirs, and the like which give some background to the war that shapes both stories.

It's not necessary to read this chapter, but you may find later scenes more meaningful if you do.

Lore and Context (Optional Chapter)

Let's take a little dive into one of my favorite means of giving exposition without slowing down the story: the lore snippet.

Many authors put lore snippets in their stories at the beginning or end of chapters (see Orson Scott Card and Karen Traviss) so as to give some context to the world without awkwardly shoving into chapters. I don't do it with all my stories, but I make heavy use of it in Homecoming,* which shares a canon with my new story Daring Do and the Ditzy of Infinite Possibility (though they can be read independently).

Also, yes, Homecoming fans, I did go back and write the thing I never planned on writing.

Anyway, both stories stand on their own without the lore, but for readers who want to go a bit deeper, it can be a fun way of engaging them.

Some of this will be familiar to Homecoming readers, but some of it won't be, and people who haven't read either story in this universe may still appreciate this as an example of the writing technique. Hope you enjoy. See my notes at the bottom for an explanation how to make use of lore snippets like these.

For just shade of context before we start, the Homecoming-verse diverges from canon after the end of Season 4. Two of the key facets of that divergence are this:

Equestria sunk a lot of money into firearms development after Tirek left the nation functionally defenseless. There was a demand for weapons that could hit with the force of a magic-user. Muskets and other muzzle-loaders soon found themselves replaced with breech-loaders, black powder revolvers, and eventually revolvers, lever-actions, and bolt-actions consistent with the technology of the later 1800s.

Equestria and her allies would ultimately end up fighting a bloody war with the Unified Griffon Dominion, which will be elaborated on below. The 'Great War' holds a similar cultural significance to our World Wars.

With that out of the way, let's look at some of the main lore snippets. Minor spoilers for the first two chapters of Homecoming:

Talon. A name that has come to be synonymous with violence, intolerance, and oppression. Though most recently the name of the Unified Griffon Dominion’s paramilitary arm, its origins are with the mysterious founder of the Great Unification Movement.

Little is known about the Movement’s leader before his meteoric rise to power. Rumors abound that he was a disgraced soldier of the defunct Griffonspire Kingdom, or a peasant from the border who saw his family massacred by raiders, or that he was an Equestrian-educated scholar who came to despise pony culture while studying abroad. None of these stories can be confirmed or denied with any certainty, as even his true name has been lost to history.

What is known is that twenty years before the Great War, a griffon known only as Talon would emerge to found the Great Unification Movement. His stated goal was to restore the griffon race to its former glory, to “throw off the shackles of the lesser races” and “replace the corrupt and vile griffon lords who have spat upon their people by making us the slaves of foreign money and power” with a system that was “ruled by the common griffon, where all griffons shall share equally in wealth and prosperity.” With so many of the griffon nation-states riddled with debt, corruption, and poverty, the appeal of a glorious, unified, and above-all wealthy griffon nation appealed to many.

The Movement’s platform of racial exclusivity, rule by the masses, and equal distribution of wealth was to be achieved by means of a centralized government which “protected griffon interests from all threats, both foreign and domestic.” In practice, this meant the creation of a tyrannical regime run under the absolute authority of the Central Party, which forcibly assumed control first of Griffonspire and then of the surrounding griffon nation-states.

One by one, the major griffon countries were brought under control of the newly-dubbed Unified Griffon Dominion, their unique cultures and national sovereignty erased by the monolithic Central Party and its secret police. To avoid provoking foreign intervention, the Dominion’s preferred method of conquest was to support the rise of the Movement in the target nations, spark unrest (an easy feat in the often-unstable griffon nation-states), and then step in at the request of the local Movement members to “bring peace and stability.”

Talon ruled as the de facto dictator of the Dominion for thirteen years, but did not live to see the Great War which his ideology spawned. Eight years before the Hoofenberg Incident and three years before the return of Princess Luna, Talon was assassinated by members of Black Wing, a faction of rebel griffons drawn from Griffuania, a griffon state with strong historical ties to the pony nation of Konikland.

While Talon’s death initially slowed Dominion advancement, the temporary reprieve did not last. Skilled Party propagandists blamed the event on foreign corruption of the noble griffon race (citing Equestria and Konikland as the primary threats) and stirred up national sentiment against all foreigners and non-griffons. The Central Party rebranded itself as being the extension of the ‘martyred’ Talon’s will, while their paramilitary arm took his name.

The newly-branded Talon Detachment was filled with the most zealous of his disciples, and executed the Central Party’s orders with ruthless efficiency.

—Excerpt from Rising Bloodshed, a short documentary series focused on summarizing the works of Dr. Power’s The Problem From Tartarus: Equestria and the Age of Genocide.

Princess Celestia and her cabinet had long feared the rise of the Unified Griffon Dominion and sought to dissuade them through diplomacy and the threat of Equestria’s superior military power. However, those threats began to lose their weight as the Dominion gradually came to surpass Equestria’s peacetime arsenal. Celestia and her ministers sought to modernize the military, but could not gain Parliamentary approval for anything that resembled “foreign adventurism” or a violation of Equestria’s long-standing peace. It was only with the near catastrophe of Tirek’s rise to power that the reigning princesses and their allies finally gained the support to pass the EUP Guard Modernization Act and begin a policy of firm opposition to Dominion expansion.

The diplomatic efforts to dissuade Dominion expansion were spearheaded by Equestria’s newest alicorn, Twilight Sparkle. In her capacity as the Princess of Friendship, Twilight sought to build an alliance of nations into a unified defensive front to intimidate the Dominion into slowing its advance while the government deliberated how best to deal with the problem in the long-term. She focused her efforts on shoring up the support of friendly powers like the Konikland-Griffuanian Commonwealth, the Duchy of Maretonia, and the Kingdom of Saddle Arabia against the common threat of the Dominion while also building a network of mutual defense amongst the griffon nation-states that had not yet fallen under Dominion control. Many of these nations had once been part of the now defunct Austail-Hungriffian Empire and were populated by both ponies and griffons. It was here that Twilight attempted to create a first line of defense against the Dominion. The hope was to stop the war with a show of solidarity along the Dominion border.

Diplomatic talks were proceeding well when the Hoofenberg Incident occurred. Most citizens of the former Austail-Hungriffian Empire had learned to live in relative harmony, or at least tolerance, with the other races. However, there was enough bad blood for the Dominion’s primary paramilitary force, the feared Talon Detachment, to exploit. Though unable to gain control of the governments, but they were able to form terrorist cells. On the day of the Summit, when leaders were preparing to make a unified statement of opposition to Dominion expansion, sixty-three Talon operatives and local recruits attacked the Royal Carriage, nearly killing Princess Twilight and launching a brutal six-year war.

Historians debate whether or not Twilight’s proposed defensive front would actually have succeeded in dissuading Dominion aggression long-term. The princess herself is purported to have become skeptical of the plausibility of such a success in hindsight. However, most agree that, had the Summit succeeded in unifying the nations directly along the border in a formalized defensive treaty prior to the Dominion’s invasion, their armed forces would have been better organized for mutual protection. As it was, the initiative in the early days of the war was ceded to the Dominion, who swiftly overran the disunified defenders and pushed into Equestrian territory, leaving tens of thousands dead in their wake.

—Excerpt from Spark Notes’ A Brief History of the Great War.

For decades, Equestrian firearms had been largely neglected by both the military and the civilian market. Muzzle-loading muskets had existed for over a century, but never reached the point of being standard-issue amongst the military or even a popular civilian home defense weapon. The musket’s slow rate of fire, cumbersome nature, and inaccuracy led to most preferring the crossbow. Even the coming of the rifled firearms (and the corresponding spike in accuracy) and the higher damage output of the weapons relative to crossbows were not enough to offset the general antipathy towards the technology.

As such, Equestrian small arms saw little use outside the borders, where the stopping power of guns was prized by independent ranchers and Equestrian Rangers for use against monsters. Modern firearms like the first generation of Sharps breech-loaders were purchased in small numbers for specialized military units, but not funded for full production.

That all changed when Tirek nearly conquered Equestria. With memories of having their magic forcibly stripped away fresh in their minds, it was suddenly much easier to justify the development of weapons which had the stopping power of magical blasts but didn’t require a mage to use.

Public and Parliamentary sentiment on the matter shifted enough that Secretary of War Hard Contact and Prime Minister Duke Golden Crown (known to his friends and detractors alike as ‘Fancy Pants’) were able to attach the Equestrian Small Arms Development Program to the bluntly-named EUP Guard Modernization Act. However, the margin for passing the Act had been so narrow that compromises had to be made, and the Program received little funding. Recognizing the importance of the Program, especially in light of worrying rise of the Unified Griffon Dominion, the reigning princesses of the Equestrian-Imperial Commonwealth quietly paid for the Program themselves.

Sharp Wit’s famous Sharps Rifle (and its smaller cousin the Sharps Carbine) was the first mainstay rifle issued to Equestrian and Imperial troops in large numbers. While this breech-loader had a slower rate of fire than the average battle caster, it was more reliable over the course of a pitched battle and could be used by all three pony races. The power of the weapon was sufficient to overcome the magical shields of even great combat mages like Shining Armor given enough time and numbers, and it was functional over longer distances than most offensive magic.

Accurate, hard-hitting, and reliable, the breech-loading rifle would be the backbone of the Equestrian Armed Forces for the first half of the Great War. Even as it was gradually replaced by more modern lever-action Spader and Turner Rifles, the Sharps was a common sight on the battlefield, and it remains the preferred weapon of sharpshooters even to this day.

—Excerpt from Called Shot’s Arsenals Abridged: The Weapons of the Great War, Second Edition

The Unified Griffon Dominion’s development of the bolt-action Mk II Needle Rifle and rapid-fire Organ Gun were nearly disastrous for the Equestrian military. For all the Sharps’ virtues, it was unable to compete with the Mk II’s volume of fire, and the Equestrians had no counterpart to the Organ Gun.

Fortunately, Equestrian R&D had one major advantage over the Dominion: a thriving free market environment. Unlike the Dominion, which was a totalitarian regime with absolute state control of the markets and corresponding intellectual property, the Equestrian culture and economy promoted entrepreneurial methods and free-thinking. This led to dozens of inventors stepping up to solve the problem. Spader, Clyde McColt, Chatter, and Time Turner were all largely unknown before the Great War, but their development of the next generation of Equestrian Firearms rocketed them to national prominence. Unlike Sharp Wit, who had been a gun-smith before the war, none of these new inventors had any significant experience designing firearms. Spader was a farmer with a head for metal-working whose son had been killed in the first year of the War. Clyde McColt was a self-described hillbilly who wanted to be able to shoot more rapidly and had been tinkering for years to that effect. Time Turner was a peaceful inventor who only reluctantly turned to weapons-development; his tacit research partner, Endless Chatter, was a disgraced locomotive engineer whose designs had been dismissed as being ‘too wild’ by her previous employers.

Despite their varied backgrounds and lack of prior direct experience, it was their genius which saved Equestria and its allies from near-certain defeat. Spader- and (to a lesser extent) Turner-model lever-action rifles phased out the Sharps as mainstay infantry rifles, and the Turner Carbine replaced the woefully limited Sharps Carbine as the primary weapon of the Air Corps. McColt’s Colt revolvers were issued as a reliable sidearm, and Chatter’s infamous multi-barreled revolving Chatterguns proved to be far deadlier than the Dominion Organ Guns. Meanwhile, Sharp Wit developed new gun sights, starting with the already deadly Sharps and eventually modifying all mainstay Equestrian firearms.

The new weapons gave Equestria a technical edge in small arms which the Dominion couldn’t match and never recovered from. With the might of the Equestrian industrial base and a flexible, motivated military arrayed against them, the final years of the Great War would become a low, painful road to defeat for the once-mighty Dominion.

—Excerpt from Called Shot’s Arsenals Abridged: The Weapons of the Great War, Second Edition

The Equestrian military was woefully understrength before the war. Generations of peace led to fewer and fewer resources being allocated to national defense. This created the joint problems of, firstly, limited personnel and funds and, secondly, the fact that what few personnel and funds they had were spread too thin, with substandard equipment, green units, and poor logistics.

When Celestia and the sitting Government finally managed to ram the EUP Guard Modernization Act through over the intense objects of the Opposition, they began to solve the problems of outdated equipment and neglected logistical infrastructure. Unfortunately, the greatest problem of all went unresolved: personnel. Even as the Guard finally received modern weapons and proper funding for the coming war, they lacked the numbers to use them. Despite numerous recruitment campaigns championed by all four princesses and each branch of the Service, the numbers remained low in most provinces.

This changed abruptly with the assassination attempt on Twilight Sparkle. Outraged ponies flocked to recruitment stations across both Equestria and the Crystal Empire. Soon the EUP had more applicants than it could process.

However, training these ponies still took time, and in the early days of the war the mostly green Equestrian units suffered massive casualties at the claws of veteran Dominion soldiers. This created a desperate personnel shortage even with the windfall of new recruits, which led to a lowering of standards at the recruiting offices.

Common jokes of the time included, “Eye tests? We don’t check ’em, only count ’em,” “Live ponies pass,” and “If you can carry a tune, you can carry a gun.”

—Excerpt from Victor Hoofsen’s Casualties of Peace

Now, anyone can read either of the associated stories without reading these lore dumps and still know what's going on. However, the advantage of lore snippets like these is that they make the world feel that much more alive to those who read them.

Think about Lord of the Rings. You can watch just the movies and know nothing about the world and still follow what's going on. You can still enjoy the story.

However, if you know some of the contextual lore (e.g. the history of the Elves and the Dwarves) it makes certain scenes a lot more meaningful (e.g. Gimli's humble request that Galadriel give him a single strand of her hair is monumental if you know the context). It takes something fairly straightforward (Gimli and Legolas start off not liking each other and become best buds) and deepens the appreciation for the significance of that thing (they overcame literally centuries of bad blood and became like brothers).

Including lore snippets like these above takes ordinary interactions (e.g. in Homecoming, Dash and Applejack talk about their preferred firearms) and raises the stakes (those weapons they talked about were getting invented mid-war and were the difference between life and death).

Even if you don't end up publishing these lore snippets, I encourage writing them - it's easier to write a deep world if the author knows that world's depths - even if no one else ever sees the full background, the world will feel more alive because what you write will be informed by the greater context you have in mind.

Something to think about.

*A note on Homecoming. The story contains the Suicide/Self-Harm tag in relation to one specific scene which happens much later in the story and, at the time of this post, isn't even written yet. No one dies, and things improve for that character.

Doo-msday Devise

Ditzy Doo thought the Foal Mountain Range was a beautiful place to fly. Snowcapped peaks and lush evergreen slopes stretched for miles upon miles. From towering spires to verdant foothills, the Range was an unbroken line of alpine magnificence.

Unfortunately, after flying for hours the mountains all started looking alike. That was a significant problem for a pegasus born with a sense of direction that might generously be called ‘poor.’

“I don’t understand,” Ditzy said to herself. “I should have found the castle by now.”

She reached into the pocket of her mail carrier’s vest to pull out her map, and inadvertently destabilized the heavy box she carried on her back.

“Whoops!” shouted the grey pegasus, letting go of her map to grab for the box before it could slide off her back and plummet several hundred feet to the forest-covered mountainside below. After a few fumbles she caught the box, then nearly dropped it again when she realized that her map was now drifting lazily in the breeze. She flew up and chomped down on the map with her teeth, only to nearly lose the box again when it shifted in her hooves.

Ditzy grinned when she managed to keep hold of the box and the map… then yelped when she plowed into a cloud and dropped both.

One dive, a few panicked moments of searching, two broken tree limbs, and one half-torn map later, she decided to take the box and land on a rocky outcropping that looked like it probably wouldn’t give way if she landed on it too hard. The rocks held, and a relieved Ditzy took a few moments to study the map and try to get her bearings.

Consulting her map, her written directions, and her compass quickly cleared things up.

“Yup. I’m lost,” Ditzy Doo said with clarity.

This was not terribly surprising to Ditzy. After all, she got turned around in Ponyville sometimes. She’d warned her boss that sending her to find a secluded mountain castle in the Foal Range would probably take her a little longer than the two-day shipping guarantee.

Unfortunately, Ditzy was the only mailpony at the Ponyville office who could make the journey. This was partially because she was about the only flier on staff with the stamina to handle the distance, and partially because she was the only pegasus at the Ponyville office with, as her boss put it, “The freakish earth pony strength” to handle delivering a breadbox-sized block of lead by herself.

What does somepony want with a breadbox-sized block of lead, anyway? she thought.

Ditzy folded the map, stowed it in her vest, resituated the box on her back, and took off. “Well, at least it’s a pretty place to be lost,” she told herself as she flew in search of the castle that was supposed to be around her. As the minutes wore on with no sign of civilization, however, Ditzy felt her normally cheery outlook fading. “I miss only having to deliver near Ponyville,” she mumbled aloud.

In fact, Ditzy missed a lot about the way things used to be. Back when most things she worried about were relatively minor: Did she get the right address on that last delivery? Did she pack enough muffins to last her through deliveries? Would the magical monstrosity rampaging through Ponyville make her miss her delivery deadline? Was she really sure she got the address right on that last delivery?

At the time, it had seemed like a lot to manage. Now, she found herself missing that simplicity.

Life started getting complicated about when Tirek showed up, Ditzy decided. At the time it had seemed like a pretty standard scenario: ancient threat from a thousand-ish years ago goes on an evil magic rampage, all conventional means of defeating him fail, and, just when all hope seems lost, Twilight and her friends have a great insight about friendship and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Just another Tuesday in Ponyville.

Sure, Ditzy ‘volunteering for a desperate pegasi militia and fighting a doomed delaying action against the aforementioned ancient threat’ and ‘getting her magic sucked out by said threat’ were all a little outside the norm, but, hey. Ponyville. Stuff happened.

But it wasn’t ‘just another Tuesday,’ thought Ditzy. That was when things started changing.

First, it had been a note half-buried in the newspapers, something she probably wouldn’t have noticed if Time Turner hadn’t brought it up one day over lunch: The Crown had announced the ‘EUP Guard Modernization Act.’ Among other things, the Act sought to make a new generation of firearms to replace the old muskets, which were so outdated and slow that the Guard barely used them.

Apparently, having thousands of ponies lose their magic and thus have few options with which to defend themselves had made princesses and parliament want a fallback option for national defense. After having her magic sucked out of her while she was a good thirty feet off the ground, Ditzy found the idea of a fallback quite sensible.

Time Turner hadn’t been so sure. “I’m a pony of science, Ditzy my dear,” the eccentric adventurer had said at the time. “Science ought to be about improving lives, not about taking them.” Though the mechanics of the new guns intrigued him, he’d made the decision to only help design protective equipment, not weapons.

A few months later, Ditzy started hearing about some mean griffons who thought that griffons were better than every other creature. To prove their point, they were making some new country called the ‘Unified Griffon Dominion.’ Ditzy thought that was silly – saying that one thinking species was better than the others, and sillier still to ask other griffon countries to join up just so they could all think the same silly thing.

Then the Dominion had started making other griffons join, making other creatures leave, and hurting anyone who tried to stop them, and Ditzy started thinking that ‘scary’ was a better word than ‘silly.’

But it would all be okay, she’d thought, because Princess Twilight and her friends were on the case! They were gonna help the griffons be friends with everyone else! They were gonna fix things, like they always did! Sure, it had been scary, everypony talking about a war coming, but lots of things were scary around Ponyville, and things always worked out!

They worked out because Princess Twilight was the nicest pony around! She made friends with everyone – ponies, draconequuses, griffons, dragons, even cross-eyed mailmares who flew north when they were supposed to fly south, who crashed through her castle wall with a late night delivery that may or may not have been damaged in the crash, or who once dropped an anvil, a piano, and several other unnecessarily heavy items on her head! Princess Twilight was the Best Princess, and with her friends by her side, things would turn out great, no matter what!

But then, things hadn’t worked out. Princess Twilight and her friends had gone to a big Summit to make friends with the Dominion, and then she was… she was…

Ditzy wiped a hoof across her eyes and sniffled. Why? she thought. Why would anyone hurt such a nice mare like Twilight Sparkle?

Why did they hurt my friend?

The war had started after that. Now, everything was different. So many ponies were gone, off fighting the war. The ones that stayed had a war of their own – the ‘Home Front’ they called it. Growing food, making uniforms, collecting surplus metal to melt down for guns and armor.

Everypony was helping – Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, even Fluttershy were all helping the War Effort, either on the Front or on the Home Front. Time Turner was so busy in his workshop doing his bit that Ditzy hardly ever saw…

And here I am, delivering packages while they’re all doing the stuff that matters! Because if I tried to help I’d— She wiped another hoof across her eyes. Why do I always have to mess things up? Why can’t my eyes be normal? I want to help! Why can’t I do something? Why can’t I—

“Enough of that, Ditzy!” she said aloud to herself, shaking her head to clear the bad thoughts. “You’re helping too, remember? You’re delivering the mail so all the other strong fliers can go fight. Ponies still need their mail. It’s still important, especially with nopegasi being around. I’m still helping! I’m still helping Time Turner! I’m still helping Twilight!”

The only way I can.

By delivering a box of lead to a castle in the Foal Mountains.

For some reason.

Ditzy sighed and rounded another peak that looked just like the last one, wishing for a chance to make a real difference.

Daring Do thought the Castle of Dunnhollow was infinitely more pleasant to sneak about in than the last ancient structure in Northeastern Equestria she’d had to sneak through. The Hollow Shades had been an interesting setting for an adventure, but the traps the cultists had laid there had broken her wing (again), which nearly resulted in Ahuizotl getting his hands on the Ring of Unnecessarily Oversized Fireballs.

And I didn’t even get a good story out of it, she thought with a grimace, because the fans thought the traps were ‘overplayed,’ the cultists were ‘generic,’ and the name of the Ring was ‘lazy.’

Well, it was lazy, but that’s hardly my fault!

Dunnhollow, by contrast, was an architectural masterpiece, magically preserved to be a prime example of the Neuschwansteed style – gothic, dark, towering, and angular, filled with hoof-woven tapestries, imported black and white tile, dark wood, and priceless art of many forms and eras.

Even the traps were gratifying – dart launchers concealed in paintings, halberd-toting suits of armor that came to life and attacked if you stepped on the wrong patch of tile or carpet, magically-charged doors that smote the unwary in a variety of inventive ways, and (Daring was almost giddy to see one hanging in the Great Hall) at least one fully-functional Third Century Chandelier of Vengeful Immolation.

So rare! If only I’d had time to examine it up close before… you know… using it.

Unfortunately, time was a commodity in short supply. Due to the heavy enchantments placed upon Dunnhollow Castle, was seldom possible to even see the place, much less access it. She’d hoped that the narrow window of possibility, combined with the near-mythical nature of the place, would allow her to get in, find the L’Astuce the Mad Artificer’s Chamber, and get out without having to outrun the competition.

And boy was I ever disappointed, she thought grimly as she wrapped a bandage around her wing and tried not to bleed all over the priceless Fifth Century rug of the bedchamber she was hiding in.

Why is it always the wing? thought Daring with familiar irritation. Why not my leg or my ear or something, just to mix things up?

The sound of voices outside the bedchamber alerted her to the approach of more attackers. Daring quickly scanned the room, analyzing how best to make use of her surroundings. A high-backed chair in the corner let her clamber up onto a bookshelf and then into the shadowy rafters. There she crouched, readied her whip in her teeth, and waited.

It wasn’t long before her patience was rewarded; the door creaked open, preceding the entrance of two thuggish looking griffons. They wore brown uniforms with red armbands bearing the Dominion flag, and carried revolvers in their claws. Daring’s lip curled in disgust. More Talon goons. Looks like the traps aren’t thinning their ranks nearly enough.

“You see her, Gunter?” hissed one griffon to the other as they crept into the room.

“Oh, yes, Gimble,” replied Gunter, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “That’s why I stayed quiet and didn’t shoot anything. Because I saw the filthy sky thief.”

Gimble chuckled cruelly as he moved deeper into the bedchamber. “Well, she won’t be violating the sky any more today; not when Gerhardt clipped her wings.”

Keep talking, featherbrain, smirked Daring as Gimble passed beneath her.

Gunter followed more cautiously. “Yeah, well, then she lured Gerhardt into that trap in the Great Hall!” He shuddered. “Blasted ponies! Who makes a chandelier into a trap that immolates creatures?!” The griffon came closer, almost standing beneath Daring. A little closer, Gunter. A little closer. “When we find her, we’re gonna finish her good and slo—”

Daring dropped on his head; four powerful hooves connected with the force of hammer and smashed him beak-first into the ground. Gimble spun around and swore, “By Talon!”

The pegasus lashed out with her whip, caught him around the wrist, yanked him forward, and delivered a buck to his head that would have made any apple farmer smile. Gimble dropped like a stone, poleaxed.

“Sorry boys,” chuckled Daring as she policed their firearms. “But you can’t take the sky from me.” She poked her head out into the hall and, after ensuring that no other griffons were in the area, stepped out, pulled the door shut behind her, and jammed the latch to lock them in. They probably won’t wake up any time soon, but why take the chance?

Daring resumed her search for a route that would get her to the Mad Artificer’s Chamber, and the prize within, before her enemies. She discarded the pistols in the first obscure place she could find – not because she couldn’t have used the firepower, but she had neither the tools nor the time necessary to change the mechanisms and make the griffon pistols usable for a pony.

I miss the old days, thought Daring as she picked her way across a complex series of tiles to avoid activating the animate suits of armor that loomed on either side. Back when the worst things coming after me were mercenaries, spear-wielding cultists, monsters, and the occasional spells-slinger. Even Ahuizotl was better than this Talon horse pucky.

Things had been getting worse ever since the magical threats to Equestria had started getting big, public, and artifact-related. Foreign governments had wanted to get in on the dangerous-magical-artifact game and sent teams to creatively acquire any and every nasty enchanted whatsit in the book. That meant competition with bigger budgets, more goons, and, eventually, more guns.

Talon was especially dangerous. They were the Dominion’s elite shock troopers – cruel, competent, and burning with zeal for the ‘Griffon Master Race’ horse pucky the Dominion prattled on about. Ruthless killers to the last grif.

Daring was no stranger to culty zealots, but she preferred the days when they didn’t carry modern firearms.

The adventurer reached the far end of the hall without tripping any of the tiles that would activate the animate armors. There she found a T-junction with a hallway to either side and an ornate door in front of her.

“If Dr. Stonecraft’s analysis of the old writings are correct,” she mumbled aloud, “this should open a passage that leads up to the Mad Artificer’s Chamber…” her gaze fell to the puzzle lock – a series of carved wooden slats interlocked to form a detailed picture. “Just have to swap the slats around to the right picture.” Daring examined the slats, rubbing a hoof against her chin. “Hmm, Normane Post-Diaspora artwork by the looks of it. The so-called ‘Argent Betrayal.’ But House Dunnhollow was Equestrian originally. They believed the Argents were patriots, not traitors, so there must be a way to change the picture to cast them as the heroes of the story.” She reached a hoof up to move the first slat—

*BANG!*

— then spat an explitive as the rifle shot shattered the slat she’d been reaching for and knocked several others off the door.

Daring spun and saw a griffon down the hall working the action on his needle rifle, with several others flying up to support him, shouting murderous invectives.

“It’s her!”

“The sky thief!”

“Kill that pony filth!”

“Kill the sky thief!”

“Can’t a girl work in peace?” snarled Daring. She scooped up one of the broken slats and flung it down the hall. It fell well short of the griffons, but hit her intended target:

One of the trapped tiles.

A ripple of magic washed across the armors as they activated, turned, and advanced on the terrified griffons with deadly intent. Not waiting around to see what happened, Daring turned down the left hallway and galloped away, the sounds of gunfire, screaming, and metal on stone ringing out behind her.

“Okay, not a problem,” she panted to herself as she took several twisting turns in an effort to shake any griffons – or armors – that might have given chase. “I’ll just have to find another way to the Chamber… before the bad guys do… even though there are at least a hundred of them and only one of me.” She snorted. “This is what I get for working alone. I can figure out a new route if I can just avoid any more—”

Daring skidded around a corner and found herself muzzle-to-beak with a very shocked griffon and his cohorts.

“—goons,” she finished with a sigh.

The griffon shrieked in rage and swung at her with his talons, but Daring ducked, spun, and bucked him into his fellows. She darted around the corner just in time to avoid a wild pistol shot. “If I get out of this alive,” Daring promised herself bullets zipped past, “I’m buying a six-shooter.”

“Finally!” exclaimed Ditzy, sagging with relief. It had taken hours, she’d gotten turned around just trying to calculate exactly how lost she was, and the package had nearly plummeted to the valley floor on three separate occasions, but she’d done it! She’d found the castle!

At least, she assumed it was the right castle. After all, how many ominous old grey-stone castles could there possibly be in the Foal Mountains?

No, really, how manyominous old grey-stone castles could there be in the Foal Mountains? I actually want to know.

“Oh, I really hope it’s just one,” Ditzy sighed to herself as she winged her way towards her destination.

As it happened, Ditzy approached the castle from the West. Had she approached from the East, she might have seen a zeppelin, moored near the ground and covered with camouflage netting to mask the Talon markings.

“Finally,” groaned Daring Do as she limped up to the puzzle-locked door that guarded the Mad Artificer’s Chamber.

It had taken some doing, shaking the Talon troopers while fending off the castle’s defenses. The powder burns on her leg would probably be tender for a few days, and losing some hairs out of her tail had been thoroughly unpleasant, but she doubted any of the griffons she’d bumped into would be escaping the Versaddle Mirror Trap any time soon. “Seeing multiple versions of yourself for room after room. That’d get old quick.”

She chuckled, then winced at the pressure it put on her bruised ribs. After I get the six-shooter, the second thing I’m doing if I live through this is taking a vacation to a hot springs. “Let’s just get this over with,” she grumbled.

Daring reached up to the door to begin moving the slats… only for the door to softly creak open at the touch of her hoof. “What the hay?” she whispered.

The room was dimly lit, but there was a glow as of magic deeper in, nestled in the midst of bookcases, tables bearing scientific instruments, and the various bric-a-brac of an artificer’s work space. Daring cocked an ear and listened. A voice. Male. Muttering to himself as he works. But who could have beat me up here? There’s no way Talon understands pony magic well enough to get through these locks before me! The adventurer crouched and crept into the room.

Even with a pegasus’ eyes, which were better at seeing in the dark than most other ponies, it was still a struggle to avoid bumping into a table or kicking one of the many tools, beakers, and books scattered on the floor.

Despite this, Daring managed to make it to the last bookcase that blocked her view from the light. Peering around the corner, she spied a pedestal situated in an open area amongst the bookcases. Upon that pedestal sat the source of the pale glow.

It was an ornate goblet, crafted of a material that seemed to shift one moment to the next, appearing copper, then gold, then glass, then silver, then wood, and so on. Sometimes it was studded with gemstones, at other times inlaid with ornate scrollwork. Yet always it emitted a soft glow, a light which seemed to promise a wealth of choices – an invitation, and a warning.

The Goblet of Infinite Possibility. Daring’s breath caught in her throat at its beauty. But where is the one who was whispering over—?

“NOW!” cried a voice from above.

Daring threw herself sideways in an attempt to evade the attack – fast, but not fast enough. A weighted net enveloped her as two Talon troopers landed on either side. Before she could attempt to extricate herself, one struck her across the head with the butt of his pistol, hard enough to make her ears ring. She landed heavily on the ground.

“Horsefeathers!” spat the adventurer. She made to rise, but the business ends of two pistols made her rethink the move. Plus, that hurt. Mighta cracked my skull if I wasn’t wearing helmet. Better wait. “Hiding up in the rafters, eh?” she remarked aloud. “Well-played.”

“Indeed it was,” rang a voice from the shadows. Its accent bespoke refinement, education… and utter condescension. A griffon whose arrogant poise and mocking smile matched the voice to a T strode forth from the shadows to stand beside the Goblet.

He was short for a griffon male; much shorter than the burly Talon soldiers who strode up behind him or descended from the rafters. Unlike the others, he wore no uniform – just a crisp black suit and hat. He carried a cane under one arm and wore pins nez glasses on his beak. His appearance was that of an academic, not a soldier.

“Glothrop Goddard,” snarled Daring.

“That’s Doctor Goddard, sky vermin,” replied Glothrop as he took off his pins nez and polished them. “It’s not surprising a lowly creature like yourself has no manners for your betters.”

“Sorry I forgot the honorific, Doctor Death,” sneered Daring. “It’s hard to remember that you’re supposed to be a gentlegrif when you spend so much time ‘experimenting’ on the griffons who won’t buy into your crazy horse-crap.”

“Ah, so my reputation precedes me,” smiled Glothrop. “Yes, I am a researcher of some note. I’ve always been intrigued by the possibility of artificially advancing our glorious evolution.” Daring snorted, but Glothrop only smiled more broadly and gestured with his cane to the Goblet. “As you might imagine, I found the promise of such a wondrous item as this to be… incredible!”

“You’re playing with fire, Goddard. The Goblet is dangerous! Too dangerous!”

Glothrop raised an eyebrow. “Too dangerous for you miserable equines, perhaps, but not for me.”

“For anyone, Goddard!” shouted Daring. “The Goblet unleashes infinite potential outcomes! That means—”

He held up a claw. “I am well aware of the relevant literature, little pony.”

“Then you know it can’t be controlled! If its powers are unleashed, infinite catastrophes may ravage the land!” Daring strained against the net. “Please, Goddard, think! It won’t just be Equestria that suffers! Griffons will suffer too!”

“And their sacrifice will pave the way for us to unlock the infinite potential of our species,” declared Glothrop calmly.He snapped his claws, and two Talon troopers stepped forward with a briefcase. Glothrop opened it, pulled out several phials, and began mixing the liquids into the Goblet. “I must confess, Miss Do, I am impressed by how far you made it. I suppose the stories are true – you really are talented, at least by pony standards.” He paused his work a moment to favor her with a cold smile. “It is fitting that the best your miserable species has to offer should watch the beginning of your end, knowing that there’s nothing you can do.”

Daring spat an epithet, which only made the griffon chuckle. Blast it all, he’s right about one thing. I can’t do anything! He’s too far away, has a dozen goons here as backup, and I’ve got at least seven guns on me right now! She wracked her brains for a solution, but saw none. Maybe if I just keep him talking, an opportunity will present itself? Just… talk and pray for a miracle? It was a frail hope, but the last she had.

“Hey, Doc, satisfy a lesser being’s curiosity, eh?” she prompted. “How’d you get through that door before me? I know your goons slowed me down, but I doubt you would’ve lowered yourself to the level of a sky vermin like me to figure out how some of the most complex locks of a bygone equine era worked.”

Glothrop chuckled and his work slowed. “Ah, you are correct my little pony. I outsourced the work to an associate of yours. He was quite amenable to assisting me… doctor to doctor.”

Daring’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean…”

The griffon looked back into the shadows and beckoned. “Come now, Doctor. Don’t be shy.”

There was a slow shuffling of hooves, and from the shadows emerged a familiar unshaven earth pony. His jacket was torn, his face was bruised, and the calculating spark was gone from his eyes, replaced by defeat. Two guards flanked him, sneering openly at the defeated stallion.

“Caballeron,” whispered Daring. “You… you helped them?”

The stallion gave a crooked smile that showed more than a few missing teeth. “He made a very reasonable business proposal, Daring Do,” replied Caballeron. “Help him and live, or defy him and die.”

“And you chose to help him?!” snarled Daring, rising up beneath the net, heedless of the guns in her face. “You bucking idiot! There was no way this dastard would ever spare you! Even if he did, how could you help this maniac?! Do you have any idea what nightmare he’s about to unleash?!”

Cabelleron’s smirk was tired, full of old rivalries, old arguments… and old regrets. “Be honest, Daring. When was the last time you saw me be a good stallion?”

“You— you…” stammered Daring. “You could have been!” She shut her eyes against the hot tears that sprang up. “You should have been!”

“There’s a fascinating story behind that, I’m sure,” said Glothrop dryly, “but if you could please open your eyes, Miss Do, I’d very much like for you to experience the beginning of your end.”

Horsefeathers! I tried to distract him, and he distracted me instead! Daring opened her eyes to see Glothrop holding the Goblet and its completed contents.

“You are the greatest of your species, Miss Do,” declared Glothrop. “And even you could not stop me. Now, bear witness to true perfection.”

Sure could go for a miracle right now!

He raised the Goblet to drink.

“Sir, wait!” warned one of the Talon troopers.

Wait, really?

Glothrop paused and glared at the trooper. “What?” he grated.

The trooper unslung his rifle and pointed it at the chamber’s ceiling. “I’m not sure, sir, but it sounded like someone up above shouted ‘look out below!’”

Glothrop scoffed. “Really? You stop me for a hallucination? When we return home I will see you reassigned to the Southern Fron—”

A grey projectile crashed through the ceiling, flattening several griffons with falling timbers before slamming into Glothrop. He cried out in pain and shock as the Goblet flew from his claw, up above the cloud of dust and debris choked the air.

It hung midair for an instant, turned, and fell straight down on the projectile. There was a splash, an audible choking gulp, and a disgusted exclamation of, “Yeeackth!”

Daring gagged on the dust and wiped furiously at her eyes as she tried to make out what miracle had just dropped in. She blinked the dust clear… then blinked again at what she saw:

Ceiling timbers had crushed, poleaxed, or buried most of the Talon troopers, Glothrop was flat on the floor, groaning and looking dazed, and Caballeron was nowhere to be seen.

A blond, grey-coated pegasus mare in mailpony rig sat plopped on the groaning Glothrop’s back, her head swaying slowly, an upended Goblet of Infinite Possibilies between her ears, and the stains of gleaming magical liquid around her lips.

The mystery mare gave her head a hard shake, which resulted in her eyes going cross-eyed. She surveyed the damage around her with a slow head turn, winced, and exclaimed, “Oops! My bad!”

Author's Note

In case you're having trouble visualizing how ponies hold firearms, see this handy visual reference.

If you're want more context for this world, you can read Homecoming, or check out this blogpost.

Ditzy is being too hard on herself here - little things like the mail running on time actually do help in the grand scheme of things. Still, she may soon find herself helping in a bigger way than she'd ever thought possible.

For reference, guns in this story are basically post-Civil War, with the mainstay Dominion rifle being based on the Prussian 'Needle Rifle' and the pistols mostly being early revolvers, including both those that fired brass-cased ammunition and black powder revolvers.

Doo-plicates

Ditzy had tried not to crash. She really had. She had tried to dump speed and take a slow turn that would put her at the front door. Somehow that had turned into a block-of-lead assisted divebomb straight through the roof.

She just didn’t know what went wrong.

I hope whoever was in here heard me shout a warning, thought Ditzy as her head spun from the impact. And whose drink was that I just drank?

“Yeeackth!” gagged the pegasus as the flavor caught up to her. Okay better question, what drink was that I just drank?!

Ditzy shook her head to clear it and looked around. Her eyes hadn’t adjusted to the light yet, but she was still able to get a rough estimate of the damage:

Substantial.

“Oops!” she winced. “My bad!”

A groan beneath her prompted the pegasus to look down. She yelped at the sight of the well-dressed individual she’d crushed. “Oh, gosh, mister, are you okay?”

Ditzy jumped up and landed on one of the beams she’d brought down in her crash. The beam shifted beneath her, and there was a yelp of pain somewhere behind her.

“Oh dear,” she muttered. “Sa~ay,” she continued in an optimistic sing-song voice that she hoped was would endear her to the locals whose home she had, as Rarity had once put it, pro-actively redecorated. “I don’t suppose you know where I can find a Mister…” she pulled the package off her back and squinted at the label, “Mister ‘The Doctor?’ I have a package here for him and—”

As Ditzy spoke, she went to put the package back on her back, but as she swung it around it connected heavily with something that cussed when she hit it.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry!” apologized Ditzy as she turned to see the griffon she’d accidentally bludgeoned lying on his side moaning. “I didn’t see you behind this box of lead and oh my GOSH!” cried Ditzy, dropping the box in her excitement. It fell with a *crunch* which was followed by a loud roar from the well-dressed individual she’d landed on.

“You’re a griffon!” exclaimed Ditzy happily. “Do you know Gabby? She’s a nice mail griffon that moved to Equestria to escape, you know, the purges. I mean she… wait…”

Ditzy looked down to see that she’d dropped the box right on the first guy’s lion tail. Another griffon? thought Ditzy as she bent to retrieve the box of lead. There was a *swoosh* over her head as though something had swung through the air above her, but Ditzy was too busy apologizing to notice.

“Sorry about that. I guess I got excited. I think griffons are super cool, but I only know a few since war refugees don’t usually come as far in-country as Ponyville, so I was wondering if you knew Gabby. Er, not that I think all griffons know each other, I just figured that a mail griffon like her travels a lot so you might—”

“Look out behind you!” shouted a female voice.

“Huh?” said Ditzy, who turned to look—

*Crack*

And floored a griffon by smashing her head into his. He dropped, screaming and holding his beak, and Ditzy stumbled back a step, rubbing her muzzle. “Woah, sorry buddy, I—”

*BANG!*

The thunderous bark made Ditzy’s ears ring, and the bright flash made her eyes water, but she was still able to see the direction it had come from.

A pegasus mare who resembled a sepia-tone Rainbow Dash in a pith helmet was trapped in a net, though that didn’t stop her grappling with a griffon from behind. The griffon flailed about, unable to reach his attacker, and in his claw he held a smoking gun. On the floor near them was a crumpled heap of a griffon with a red stain on his uniform.

It was then that Ditzy noticed several details that had escaped her attention before, namely the Dominion armbands on the griffons, the firearms strewn around the room, and the fact that the sepia mare looked a loooot like the character of Dash’s favorite book series.

“Don’t just stand there!” shouted Probably-Actually-Daring-Do. “Take the Goblet and run!”

Goblet? What Gob— A glowing artifact-looking cup picked that moment to fall off Ditzy’s head and land at her hooves. Oh.

“Sweet Celestia!” she blurted. “This is an adventure isn’t it!”

If Daring had the time to be shocked, she probably would have been floored – the sheer serendipity was staggering. A cross-eyed mailmare had just busted through a roof without apparent personal injury, dropped a squad of Talon agents, and then started asking about a package for Mister ‘The Doctor’ as though this was an ordinary delivery.

Then there was the small matter that the mare had, apparently inadvertently, drunk the entire contents of the primed Goblet of Infinite Possibilities, thus potentially setting in motion the end of Equestria as they knew it. The absurdity would have been staggering if Daring had time to be staggered.

As it was, the adventurer opted to take advantage of the distraction. The two griffons flanking her had escaped most of the damage, so Daring punched the one on her left in the throat. He sprawled, gagging while she body-checked the one on her right into the nearest bookcase. While he was stunned, Daring managed to loop part of the net across his throat and grapple him with her limbs while she tried to choke him out. Gotta take them down while the rest are distracted!

The griffon fought back, using his greater size to slam her into the bookcase. Daring gritted her teeth and yanked harder on the rope.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the grey mare clock a griffon who’d been creeping up on her with a box of—

Wait, did she say ‘box of lead?’ wondered Daring just as the mystery mare shouted something in excitement and dropped said box straight on Glothrop’s tail.

Another griffon came up behind the mystery mare and Daring tried to shout a warning, but the griffon she was strangling picked that moment to smash her into the bookcase again, almost dislodging her. Daring watched the creeping griffon swing at the mare… who ducked effortlessly beneath him.

Regaining her breath, Daring shouted, “Look out behind you!”

The mare turned straight into her assailant and brained him with her skull. What kind of drunken master nonsense? thought Daring. Who is—

Her musing was cut off by the griffon she was strangling raising his pistol and aiming at the mystery mare. Crap! Daring grabbed his foreleg and swung it aside just as he pulled the trigger.

The griffon she’d punched in the throat at the start of the fight stood up just in time to take the shot in the chest. The mystery mare looked on, dumbfounded.

“Don’t just stand there!” shouted Daring. “Take the Goblet and run!”

Whatever the mystery mare said in response to that, Daring didn’t hear. The half-strangled griffon now attempting to aim his pistol at the adventurer on his back had her full attention. She tried to grab his foreleg again but missed.

The griffon aimed the pistol at her head, cocked the hammer back, and got sent flying by the box of lead.

“Wait, what?” said the suddenly griffonless Daring.

“We gotta go!” shouted the mystery mare, who flapped over, the Goblet tucked under one foreleg. She gripped the net with her teeth and flung it off Daring. It landed in the corner with a crash, a clatter, a horn, the sound of a cat freaking out, and another crash. The mystery mare pulled Daring to her hooves and they turned for the recently added skylight, only to find the way blocked by several Talon troopers who, though injured and unsteady on their feet, still had guns.

“This way!” ordered Daring, grabbing her rescuer and leading her towards to door she’d entered through.

Gunshots rang out behind them and bullets zipped past, but the ponies managed to escape the room. Daring slammed the heavy door shut behind them and the two tore off down the hall, the mystery mare flying slow enough to match the best pace that the injured Daring could manage on foot.

Which is too slow, thought Daring as her muscles screamed even through the adrenaline. Gotta put some distance in before those goons recover. She cast a glance at the mare who was currently filled with Possibility. And deal with… that. Run, hide, and figure out what the hay to do about this nonsense!

“So…” began the mystery mare benignly, “I’m Ditzy Doo, and I just want to say I’m a big fan of your work.”

“Thanks,” panted Daring as she led them along a route that she hoped would let them shake their pursuers.

Ditzy frowned, looking worried. “Hey, are you okay? You look pretty banged up.”

“Busted wing, some bruises and scrapes,” gritted Daring, trying to ignore the fire in her tendons. “I’ve handled worse.”

“Well, sure, but the guys chasing us all have wings.”

“I’ll manage,” insisted Daring.

Ditzy regarded her with one eye (the other stayed focused down the hall), then dove for Daring. Before the adventurer could protest, Ditzy had scooped her up onto her back and begun carrying her.

“Are you crazy?” demanded Daring. “You can’t carry my weight for long!”

The grey mare’s laugh was genial as their altitude climbed higher. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m kinda strong. I flew all the way here carrying a box of lead.”

So I did hear that right. “Why the hay were you carrying— TURN RIGHT!”

Ditzy swerved right at the last second to avoid running into a chandelier. “Oops!” said the grey mare sheepishly. “You might wanna just steer me. My depth perception’s noooot the greatest.”

After knocking over a statue and nearly plowing into a wall, Daring resorted to grabbing Ditzy’s ears and using them like the ship’s wheel to direct flight. “We need to go to hole up somewhere and make a plan to get you and the Goblet out of here,” declared the adventurer.

“Ye~ah, about that…” said Ditzy, tilting her head up and rolling one eye back to look at Daring. “I… kinda, maybe, definitely drank the funky liquid in the glowy cup by accident. Am I gonna be a dragon or something?”

Mare, I hope not. “It’s called the Goblet of Infinite Possibilities,” explained Daring. “Whoever drinks it has infinite possibilities opened up to them. They get to see the echoes of other possible realities manifest – other versions of themselves who made different decisions or whose lives played out in other ways.”

“Sooo… not a dragon?”

“Probably not,” replied Daring.

“Aw.”

Up ahead, Daring saw a junction that she believed would lead to the servants’ quarters. Lots of rooms and back passages so the servants could access the whole castle unobtrusively. Perfect to hide. “At this stage, the realities that open to you will most likely be simpler things – a version of you that made a different choice or something. Turn right here.”

Ditzy started to make the turn, then froze, one eye looking back down the hall. “Uh… like a version of me that grabbed the box of lead on the way out?”

Daring followed Ditzy’s gaze and saw…

Another Ditzy.

With the box of lead on her back.

“Yeah,” said Daring tiredly. “Like that.”

“Hi!” waved the other Ditzy.

Ditzy, Daring, and Ditzy-with-a-box sat in a servant’s bedchamber and stared at each other.

Well, thought Ditzy, this brings back memories. Hopefully this turns out better than the Mirror Pool.

After Ditzy-with-a-box had shown up, Daring had fallen rather silent and focused on going to ground. She’d laid a few false trails towards traps before finding a place the three of them to hide while they figured out there next move.

Step one involved explanations. “Ditzy Doo?” asked Daring.

“Yes?” chorused Ditzy and Ditzy-with-a-box.

Daring Do blinked. Slowly. “Okay, I’m going to call you Ditzy Doo,” she declared, pointing to Ditzy, “and you Ditzy Two,” she added, pointing to Ditzy-with-a-box.

“Okay.” Chorused Ditzy and Ditzy Two. Much better than Ditzy-with-a-box, thought Ditzy.

“How much do the two of you know about Multiverse Theory?”

Ditzy Doo and Two glanced at each other. “Uuuuuh…”

“Layponies version, then,” decided Daring. “Basically, there are many different parallel worlds wherein things are similar, but different. Those differences range from worlds where one saved a box and the other didn’t to worlds where ponies are other kinds of creatures.”

“Like dragons?” asked Ditzy Two.

“Okay, please don’t keep suggesting dragons,” said Daring with a facehoof. “It might happen.”

“Technically, I was the one to suggest dragons the first time,” said Ditzy.

“No,” said Two, “I did too.”

“You did?”

“She did,” explained Daring, “because both of your realities are still this reality, but the realities aren’t parallel for the two of you right now – the two realities have met at the two of you.”

The Ditzys blinked. “What?”

Daring sucked a breath in through her teeth. “Okay, let’s see if I can explain this… basically, different realities should all be their own, separate series of events. However, when the Goblet is used, those series start crossing over with other series wherein the Goblet was used at the same point. Those separate series then start becoming one shared series. At first, they only cross at one data point: whoever drank from the Goblet. Thus, both of you are currently Ditzy ‘Prime,’ with the other coming later, and I’m still the Daring you first interacted with, because at the moment the Goblet is only crossing over with Ditzy Doo, the mare who drank from the Goblet, while the rest of both realities remaining separate.”

“But that won’t last forever,” continued Daring grimly. “Eventually, there will be other points that cross. Not just other Ditzys that show up, but other items, locations, events, even other creatures. Soon, any realities where you drank from the Goblet will be pulled in. And it won’t ever stop because the multiverse is functionally infinite. Hence, Infinite Possibilities will be on display, and the world as we know it will cease to exist.”

The adventurer let out a deep breath. “So, in summary, we need to shut down the Goblet or it will destroy the world. Make sense?”

There was a pause, then, “Nope.”

“Nada.”

“Not even slightly.”

“Totally confused.”

Daring sighed and scratched the back of her neck. “Look, I’m not sure I can really visualize how it works myself. The point is, bad things are gonna happen for everyone if we can’t shut this thing down like it was when it was first created. If we don’t, it could destroy the world as we know it.”

But I like the world as we know it, thought Ditzy Doo. Then she remembered the war. Okay, I mostly like the world as we know it. “Guess we’d better shut it down, then,” she said aloud.

“Yup,” agreed Ditzy Two.

Daring gave them both a long look. “You’re taking this very well.”

“What do you mean?” asked Two, tilting her head.

“It’s just… neither of you seem fazed by the whole Daring-Do-is-real-and-I’m-helping-her-save-the-world thing.”

Ditzy Doo shrugged. “Eh. Nightmare Moon was real.”

“And Discord,” added Two.

“Plus, there was that time we were delivering a package to Canterlot and got jumped by changelings.”

“Don’t forget punching Tirek in the face a couple times before he zapped us.”

“That and ‘Spectrum Sprint’ in the last book looked a lot like Rainbow.”

Two laughed. “Remember when the book showed up and she did, like, a hundred laps around Ponyville?”

“Yeah,” giggled Ditzy Doo. “She almost started a tornado.”

Daring’s eye twitched. “Okay… I guess that’s fair… but still,” she gestured to them, “there are literally two of you.”

“Mirror Pool,” chorused the Ditzys.

The adventurer heaved a sigh and massaged her temples. “Feathering Ponyville,” she muttered.

“Yeah, we have fun,” smiled Ditzy Two.

“How’d they stop the Goblet messing up the world the first time?” asked Ditzy Doo.

“The Archmage of the time, the Clover the Fifth, caught wind that L’Astuce, the Mad Artificer of Dunnhollow, had created the Goblet,” explained Daring. “She and her husband, Solar Lance, defeated L’Astuce, but not until after he’d drunk and weird things happened. Long story short, the best they could do at the time was to stick the dormant Goblet in a version of the castle that it was only Possible to access under certain very specific and very rare conditions.”

Daring grimaced, adding, “Unfortunately, those conditions were set by L’Astuce, including, annoyingly enough, a constantly changing location. Researchers, mostly on Celestia’s payroll, got close more than once, but never got there quick enough for Celestia to grab the thing and unmake it.”

“And Talon figured out where it would show up next?” asked Ditzy Two.

“Yup,” grunted Daring. “Fortunately, so did I. Things came together in time for me to make a beeline for the castle, but not in enough time to call for reinforcements. I was hoping I’d be able to get through all the traps, grab the Goblet, and get out before Talon, since they don’t really do non-griffon tech and magic, but…” she trailed off, looking sad, “they had help.”

Ditzy wasn’t sure why Daring was sad. From the look on her face, Ditzy Two wasn’t sure either. But Ditzy didn’t want a great pony like Daring to be sad. So she put on a happy face and said, “Well, now you have help too!”

Daring was silent for a moment, then smiled and said, “I sure do.”

Ditzy Two struck a heroic pose. “All right! Let’s stop the Possibility Goblet!”

“Maybe we can just smash it against the wall,” suggested Ditzy Doo. “You know, simple solutions.” I’m pretty sure that’s how Rainbow Dash fixes things.

“No!” shouted Daring. “That would just blow up in our faces, and it wouldn’t work anyway. No, we need to get it back to Celestia, hopefully before our realities cross at too many points. An alicorn should be able to shut it down.”

“Okay,” said Ditzy Doo.

“Okay,” said Ditzy Two.

*BOOM!*

The three mares jumped at the sudden explosion that had punched through one wall of the room. When the dust settled, they saw the Goblet of Infinite Possibilities sitting in the midst of the hole that had once been a wall, unscarred in any of its many possible forms.

“What did I just say?!” demanded Daring.

“I didn’t do it!” cried Ditzy Doo.

“I didn’t do it!” cried Ditzy Two.

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening,” said the third Ditzy.

A few minutes later, the four mares were working their way through a Japonese hedge maze that was located where the dining hall was the first time Daring had come through this way.

Daring decided to call the third grey mare ‘Ditzy Danger.’ She picked that moniker after said Ditzy had followed up on not listening by asking, “Hey, if other realities could start showing up, could that mean we’d end up wandering through other versions of what this castle might have looked like?”

Which, of course, had resulted in their present predicament of wandering through a castle that changed theme, aesthetic, cultural heritage, and layout with each passing room.

“Why was that last place a bunch of cubicles?” asked Ditzy Doo.

Ditzy Two started to speculate, “Maybe it was like a Dilburro crossov—”

Daring put a hoof over Two’s mouth. “Please don’t speculate. I don’t want to open up another Possibility.”

“Sorry,” apologized Two.

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” said hangdog Ditzy Danger. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”

Daring wanted to drum up some resentment against Danger, but found she couldn’t. All these Ditzys are just so dang benign. It’d be like getting made at a puppy. Or Fluttershy. “It’s not your fault,” she assured her. “I should be thanking you, honestly. If you hadn’t come, Talon would have the Goblet and I’d probably be dead.”

“Don’t thank us,” said Ditzy Doo. “Thank ‘The Doctor’ for mailing a box of lead to this castle.”

“I would do that if any of us knew who ‘The Doctor’ was,” replied Daring. It wasn’t Goddard or Caballeron, I can tell you that much.

The thought of her old research partner made Daring sad. I wonder if Caballeron escaped in the confusion. She hoped he had. In spite of his betrayal, in spite of everything he’d done, Daring still remembered a time when…

I don’t want him dead.

They passed from the Japonese garden through a gothic portcullis into an abandoned opera house with a grand chandelier. Nice aesthetic, thought Daring, happy for the distraction from her old partner. And the rows of seats can provide some cover if we get jumped.

“You know one upside to the infinite reality castle?” asked Ditzy Doo.

“What’s that?” asked Daring.

“You said there were a bunch of traps in the original castle, but we haven’t seen any.”

“Yeah,” agreed Ditzy Two, “and we haven’t run into any Talon guys either.”

Hey, that’s a good point. Maybe this isn’t so bad!

“Maybe they’re just waiting for a dramatic moment to show up,” suggested Ditzy Danger.

The portcullis slammed down behind them, activated by a trapped flagstone which also opened a secret passageway on the floor in front of them to reveal six Talon troopers.

Aaaaaand, the moment’s gone.

“Sorry,” mumbled Ditzy Danger.

“Stop right there!” shouted the Talon troopers as they fanned out, the foremost bringing his gun to bear.

Daring was already in motion, drawing her whip and snagging the foremost griffon’s rifle. “Fly! Fly!” she ordered as she disarmed him.

The Ditzys obeyed. One of them, she was pretty sure it was Ditzy Doo, scooped up Daring as they took to the air. Daring didn’t bother ordering them to fly erratically, as they did by default. Guns barked beneath them. By accident or design, the wild flying spared them any injury, but Daring knew that wouldn’t last.

“I’m guessing none of you brought a gun,” she remarked, more a statement than a question.

“Nope.”

“No.”

“Sorry.”

“Yes!” cried a stetson-sporting Ditzy as she triumphantly burst through a set of swinging saloon doors that Daring could have sworn wasn’t there a moment ago. “Because I’ve always secretly wanted to be a desperado!” She drew a pair of pistols that might more properly have been described as ‘hoof cannons.’ “Eat lead, lead eaters!”

The cross-eyed gunslinger aimed her weapons, and Daring’s heart leapt into her throat. “Dive!” she ordered desperately. The flying ponies went to ground and huddled behind a row of seats for cover.

Just in time. The hoof cannons boomed like the wrath of the heavens. A storm of bullets flew through the air, striking every hard surface in the opera house and pinging about the room like pinballs, ricocheting at least a dozen times each in defiance of every known law of physics (and probably a few unknown laws as well). Daring and the other Ditzys huddled together on the ground, praying for the nightmare to end.

Then, suddenly, the storm fell silent. Daring and the others slowly raised their heads to see an opera house that looked like it had been visited by a ball bearing tornado. The gunslinger Ditzy stood with a stunned expression, two smoking guns…

And six unscathed Talon troopers who looked as shocked as anypony.

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me,” groaned Daring.

Recovering from his stupor, one of the troopers crowed, “Hah! You missed! Now you’ll get—”

What the gunslinger would have gotten was never discovered, because the chandelier fell and crushed the troopers. Well, thought Daring Do, I guess being crushed by a chandelier beats being vengefully immolated by one.

In the silence that followed, the gunslinger looked up at where the chandelier fell from. “Huh,” she grunted. “Looks like I shot the rope.” Then, with affected nonchalance, she added, “Just like I planned! Yeah!” She twirled her hoof cannons to holster them, accidentally pulled the trigger, and shot Daring’s helmet off.

The Ditzys all froze in horror. Daring felt her eye twitch. “You plan that too?” she asked.

“Wow!” exclaimed Ditzy Doo as she retrieved Daring’s perforated helmet and set it back on her head. “I coulda sworn you emptied those guns.

“Um… it’s possible I miscounted my shots,” suggested the gunslinger. “Maybe I—"

“Holster those guns before something else happens!” ordered Daring. At the sad look on the gunslinger’s face, she sighed and added, “Also, thank you for saving our lives.” The beaming smile she got in return made the perforated helmet worth it. “Let’s get moving before something else happens.”

“Like a trap, or another patrol,” suggested Ditzy Two.

Daring didn’t even bat an eye when another group of griffons burst into the room.

“Woo-hoo!” cheered Ditzy Danger. “It wasn’t me this time!”

Several minutes and twelve thwarted griffons later…

“Girls, I just wanna say,” said Ditzy Doo, “that it feels really nice to be helping out like this.”

“Uh-huh,” assented Ditzy Two.

“Yup,” smiled Ditzy Danger.

“Agreed,” agreed Ditzy Desperado.

“Though it would be nice if the walls weren’t closing in to crush us in an Aztrot pit trap,” said Ditzy Downer, who had shown up after Daring had asked if it was even possible for Ditzy to be not-upbeat and Ditzy Doo had answered, ‘maybe.’

Despite the name, Ditzy Downer was still fairly upbeat, just not all the time.

She was also a little taller than the others for some reason, which was why Daring Do was standing on her head to reach the controls to disarm the Aztrot pit trap while the other four did their best to hold back the walls crushing them.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Ditzy Doo said, “At least there aren’t any sna—"

“Don’t finish that sentence,” ordered Daring.

“Okay.”

“Let’s see,” muttered Daring as she toggled the levers and buttons. “Up, down, left, left, square, up, right, triangle, and… bingo!” The walls slid to a halt and the Ditzys cheered (except for Ditzy Downer, who merely smiled).

Daring hopped down and said, “Okay, the good news is that the pit isn’t going to crush us. The bad news,” she pointed up at the metal grate that had prevented them simply flying out, “is that there’s still a big, spikey grating that’s penning us in. Any ideas?”

“Can’t you just use the controls to get us out?” asked Ditzy Two.

“Not with hooves,” replied Daring. “The controls for the grating are too small. They look like they were built by a griffon or a minotaur or some species with digits.”

“What if we had a Ditzy with digits?” suggested Ditzy Doo.

“That seems like a tall order,” said Ditzy Downer.

“I can do a tall order,” said a new Ditzy from the corner. “I’m tall.”

“Well,” smirked Daring as they turned to look at the newcomer, “that’s conveniaaaaaAAAAH!” she cried. “What the hay are you?!”

A familiar set of crossed eyes looked back at them, but they were attached to some sort of mostly hairless, bipedal primate. The creature waved a hand full of fingers at them. “Hi! I’m Human Ditzy Doo.”

“Hi, Human Ditzy Doo,” chorused the Ditzys.

“Hmm, that doesn’t really roll off the tongue,” observed Ditzy Downer. “How about Ditzy Digits?”

“I like it,” said Ditzy Digits brightly; she seemed happy to stay on theme.

“Okay,” Daring said, “this is great that you’re here to save us, but it also probably indicates that the Goblet’s influence is growing and we really don’t have time to muck around.” She hopped back up on Ditzy Downer’s back so she could see the controls. “Give me a hand over here.”

Ditzy Digits started over saying, “No problem, Daring I’ll…” she paused, blinked, then laughed. “Oh, I get it! Give me a hand! Because I have hands!”

“Yeah, hilarious, now help me.”

While Daring walked Digits through the disarm sequence, Ditzy Doo took stock of their situation. She was a little afraid, a little concerned, but mostly enjoying herself. After months delivering mail and feeling like she was sitting the war out, it felt good to be helping.

Actually, it just felt good to be helping in general. Ditzy liked to help ponies (and dragons, and donkeys, and griffons who weren’t trying to kill her, and really just about any good-willed creature she encountered), but whenever she tried to help things seemed to go wrong.

But ever since this adventure started, things going wrong seems to make things go… right.

It’s nice.

Even with her largely positive outlook, however, there were still a few things that bothered her. Apparently, Ditzy Two noticed, because she leaned over and said, “Yeah, it bothers me too that we don’t know who the box of lead was for.”

Ditzy Doo gasped. “How did you know what I was thinking?” Ditzy Two stared at her with one of her eyes (the other was watching Ditzy Digits). “Right, silly question,” said Ditzy Doo. “I just think it’s important somehow.”

“Maybe it will become obvious during an epic showdown at high noon,” suggested Ditzy Desperado.

“You’re just saying that because you want an epic showdown at high noon,” said Ditzy Danger.

“Yeah…”

“Ah hah!” cried Daring triumphantly as the grate above them retracted.

“Yay!” cheered Ditzy Digits. “Fingers for the win!”

The Ditzys who had wings ferried the Ditzy who didn’t and the Daring who couldn’t back to the hallway they’d been in before being plunged into the Aztrot pit trap (oddly, the hallway was Saddle Arabian in aesthetic).

“Alright, Ditzys,” said Daring, leading them down the hall towards a large set of double doors at the far end. “Let’s see if we can get out of this castle before this gets any worse.” She snorted. “At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was all prelude to a climactic final challenge.”

“Like a shootout at high noon?” suggested Desperado.

“In a Great Hall with big stone pillars, chains dangling from the ceiling for no reason, and ominous fire pits that turn on magically?” offered Ditzy Danger.

“With all the Talon goons waiting for us?” added Ditzy Two.

Daring gave a sardonic laugh as they reached the double doors and pushed through into the next room. “You know what?” she said as they entered the pitch black chamber. “It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if—”

The adventurer froze, her eyes shrinking to pinpricks. “Oh, Celestia, I said ‘climactic final challenge’ out loud, didn’t I.”

“Um… yes?” said Ditzy Digits.

“And you all just responded with follow-up suggestions, didn’t you.”

“Well, technically only three of us did,” clarified Ditzy Downer, “but… yes.”

Daring swallowed. “Which means…”

At that moment, the magically-activated firepits lit up, illuminating a great hall filled with towering stone pillars, chains dangling from the ceiling, and about a four-score Talon troopers waiting in ambush, led by a heavily bandaged and thoroughly peeved Glothrop Goddard.

“Well, poop,” remarked Ditzy Downer, a downer sentiment which Ditzy Doo found herself agreeing with.

“You know what, ladies?” said Daring Do, “That one’s on me.”

Dynamic Doo-o

Daring Do wasn’t a pony who gave up easily. But, she admitted to herself as Glothrop and his goons sneered at them, I’m having a hard time seeing a way out of this one. She glanced at her cross-eyed companions. So maybe I need to see this from another angle.

“It was an impressive run,” Glothrop shouted, “but it ends now! Hand over the Goblet!”

Ditzy Digits scoffed. “I would never sully my hands like that!”

“Now!” roared Glothrop.

“That’s… certainly one Possibility,” said Daring. “But I think there’s another one you should consider.” She turned to face Ditzy Doo. “Specifically, the Possibility of dragons.”

Ditzy Doo looked confused, then brightened up. “Wait, you mean that could happen?”

“I think it’s in the realm of Possibility.”

Glothrop scoffed. “Oh please. You really think a dragon is just going to—”

The wall behind the griffons exploded as a great grey-scaled dragon with yellow spines and crooked eyes broke in like a rocket-powered battering ram, scattering the griffons like tenpins. Several of them tried to shoot her, but she roared and took a deep breath. Daring assumed she was going to breath fire.

She did not.

“Bubbles?” deadpanned Daring. “She breathes bubbles?” The bubbles reached the griffons but, instead of popping like expected, they blew up like artillery shells. “Bubbles that explode. Okay. Sure. Why not.”

“YES!” cheered Ditzy Doo and her Dooplicates. Or would that be Dooplegangers? “I KNEW I COULD BE A DRAGON! I FLIPPING KNEW IT!”

Ditzy Dragon rampaged through the griffon lines, wreaking havoc. Unfortunately, her havoc wreaking extended to architecture. She knocked over several pillars, which then toppled towards the other Ditzys. Because of course they did.

“Move! Move!” shouted Daring. Years of escaping self-destructing ancient temples let her lead the Ditzys safely through the falling rubble. They ended up ringed in by rubble, but unharmed. “Okay, we’ve got a makeshift rubble fort that gives us some cover while we plan our next move,” said Daring, trying to tune out the sounds of the dragon rampage.

“What next move?” demanded Ditzy Downer. “We’ll never make it to Celestia at this rate!”

“You’re right,” agreed Daring. “Which is why we need to stop the Goblet here.”

“How?” chorused the Ditzys.

“First order of business is locking this little fort down,” said Daring. “Ditzy Desperado? I need you to give one of your guns to Ditzy Downer. The two of you will give us covering fire and keep the griffons from overwhelming Ditzy Dragon.”

A distant bell tolled noon. Ditzy Desperado smiled. “A shootout at high noon, eh? I reckon I can do that.”

Ditzy Downer shrugged. “Eh. It might work.” The two of them took off.

“I want to help them,” said Ditzy Digits.

“Unfortunately, we only have two guns,” said Daring. “And the griffon trigger guards are too small for—” she looked at Ditzy’s digits, “okay, not a problem for you, but we don’t have any griffon guns here.”

There was a distant dragon roar and a Wilhoof scream that grew louder and louder until a smoke-blackened griffon landed in their midst. Daring knocked him out with a blow to the head and passed his weapon to Ditzy Digits. “Problem solved. Go nuts.”

“Woo-hoo!” cried Ditzy Digits as she ran out. “Diiiitzyyy Diiigiiiits!”

“Sweet Celestia, she just ran out there,” said a horrified Ditzy Danger.

“And the griffons won’t know what hit ’em,” Daring assured her. “Danger, I want you to go out there and think about all the things that can happen.”

“What?” replied Ditzy Danger, aghast. “But I always make things more dangerous!”

“Exactly,” said Daring. “Go make them more dangerous for the griffons.”

Danger thought for a moment, then shrugged and said, “Okay.” She flew out to join the others. A moment later, Daring heard her shout, “What if flying magical razors came and shaved your majestic fur?!”

This was followed almost immediately by a loud buzzing sound and cries of, “Oh gosh! My majestic fur!”

“What about us?” asked Ditzy Doo.

“We are gonna put our heads together and figure out a way to outfox the Goblet. And by we, I mostly mean you two.”

Ditzy Doo and Two sputtered in disbelief. “How the heck are we supposed to do that?!” exclaimed Ditzy Doo.

“Yeah!” agreed Two. “Even Clover the Clever and her husband couldn’t beat this thing! You said we need an alicorn to beat it!”

“An alicorn… or somepony who sees the world differently,” smiled Daring. “Listen, this whole adventure, I’ve been able to deal with the traps, the puzzles,” the griffon who’d been knocked into their makeshift fort started to stir, and Daring kicked him in the head, “and the fighting. But it’s been you, the Ditzys, who have benignly kept pace with having the power of Infinite Possibility at your wingtips. If Goddard had drunk that thing, the world would already be coming apart at the seams. You’ve kept us going.”

Daring leaned forward and put a reassuring hoof on each of them. “Don’t think about this how somepony like me or Clover or even Celestia would think about it. Think about it how you would.”

The two Ditzys exchanged uncertain glances as the battle raged around them. Then, Ditzy Doo said, “Well, earlier we were talking about the lead box.”

Not sure how that tracks, but I guess that’s the point. “Okay, go on.”

“And we were thinking,” said Two, “what if it ends up being the key to everything?”

Ditzy Doo nodded. “Like, it will make sense right when we need it to.”

There was a bright flash of light, and a tall blue object appeared in their makeshift fort. It looked like a shed, with a sliding door on the front and a black sign with white letters at the top that said Police Box.

“What in the world?” exclaimed Daring Do.

“Oh, hey, it looks like a blue phone booth!” said Ditzy Doo.

“What the heck is a ‘phone booth?’” asked Daring Do.

“It’s a design Doctor Time Turner is working on,” explained Ditzy Two. “He says it will revolutionize the future.”

The door slid open, and a bright light shone out. Daring couldn’t make out many details of the interior, but it definitely looked far bigger on the inside. In the doorway stood yet another Ditzy. I’m really not sure what I expected at this point. At least this one’s a pony.

New Ditzy looked much like the others, but older, perhaps in her middling years, with lines on her face and whitening in her mane. Around her neck she wore a multicolored scarf that looked entirely too long for her.

Apparently, the scarf looked familiar to the other Ditzys, because Two asked, “Hey, isn’t that Time Turner’s?”

“Is it?” replied the new Ditzy innocently.

Daring raised an eyebrow, sensing there was a story there, but pushed it aside in favor of the obvious. “And you would be…?” she asked.

“Oh, you can call me Doctor Ditzy. I’m a time traveler.”

“Of course you are,” deadpanned Daring Do.

Ditzy Doo went up to shake hooves. “Nice to meet you Doctor—” she gasped. “Wait, are you The Doctor?! Like, from the box of lead?!”

Doctor Ditzy chortled musically. “Oh heavens no. I’m just here to pick up his package.” She took the box of lead from Ditzy Two, who had obligingly brought it over. “He needs to mail it to himself yesterday.”

“Of course he does,” deadpanned Daring Do. Well, this is certainly seeing things from another angle.

“If you’re a time traveler, are you here to help us?” asked Ditzy Doo.

“I already am,” replied Doctor Ditzy. “Next I’m going to drop off a gun for an unexpected ally four minutes ago, but first I have a message for Daring Do.” Daring’s ears perked up as Doctor Ditzy turned to her. “Remember to put the phrase, ‘Sometimes the solution to the problem is the problem itself’ in the book when this is all eventually published, and to mail an advanced copy to Time Turner when the special edition of the book comes out.”

Daring raised an eyebrow. “O~kay? I guess?”

Doctor Ditzy beamed. “Perfect! That’s all you need to succeed today! Now, I gotta get going. My hubby’s cooking dinner, and I don’t wanna miss it! Bye, Daring! See you in a few days! Bye, Ditzys! Be you in a few years!”

Ditzys Doo and Two waved. “Bye, Doctor Ditzy!”

The door closed, there was a flash of light, and the Police Box was gone.

“She seemed nice,” remarked Ditzy Doo. Ditzy Two nodded in agreement.

This is gonna be the weirdest book I have ever written, thought Daring. “So… did that… help you figure out how to fix this? Please say ‘yes.’ I’m not sure how much more of this I can handle.”

Ditzy Doo and Two looked at each other, smiled, and hugged each other. “Good luck in your own reality,” said Ditzy Doo.

“Yeah, you too,” said Ditzy Two.

“Uh… is that a ‘yes?’” asked Daring.

Ditzy Doo beamed at her. “It is.” She held up the Goblet. “It’s like you’re going to put in your book: ‘Sometimes the solution to the problem is the problem itself.’”

“… meaning?”

“Did you ever consider the Possibility that this is just an ordinary Goblet?”

One moment, Daring was looking at the Goblet of Infinite Possibility, its gleaming surface alight with ever-changing color and texture. Then she blinked, and when she looked again, it was just a cup.

“Wh- what?” stammered Daring. “What just happened? What just…” it was then that she noticed the silence “… happened?”

The battle was over. The climactic-final-battle-Great-Hall was gone, replaced with a simple foyer that had been part of the original castle. Defeated griffons lay all over, but the Ditzys who had laid them low were nowhere in evidence. Only the original Ditzy Doo remained.

“What happened?” repeated Daring. “Ditzy, what happened?”

“What had to happen,” replied Ditzy, her voice triumphant, and a little sad. “The realities are all back where they’re supposed to be. The Goblet of Infinite Possibility no longer connects them, because it’s just an ordinary goblet.”

Daring. “But… it could turn back on, couldn’t it? This is just one Possibility, so it could make others manifest, right?”

“How could it do that?” asked Ditzy. “It’s just a cup.”

The two stood silently for a moment as the enormity of what Ditzy had just said washed over them. Daring was the first to break the silence with a little chortle. It grew in volume into a laugh. Ditzy joined in, and soon the two of them were laughing hysterically. “We did it!” shouted Daring as the two pranced around each other. “We did it! We did it! We saved the world! You did it, Ditzy! You and the other…” she trailed off and her prancing stopped as the absence of the other Ditzys sank in, turning the victory became bittersweet.

Ditzy rubbed at her eyes. “I’m gonna miss them.”

“Yeah,” agreed Daring, a sudden huskiness in her voice. “Yeah, me too.”

“Not for long,” growled a voice to their left.

The pair spun to see Glothrop Goddard hobbling towards them. The once-proud griffon was disheveled, battered. He looked to have been blown up, trampled, and possibly chewed on. It was astonishing he was still standing.

But the hatred in his eyes was undimmed by his injuries, and the gun he aimed at them didn’t waver.

“You… ruined… everything!” snarled the griffon. “If I can’t use the Goblet to change the world, I can at least end yours!”

His claw tightened on the trigger. Daring dove in front of Ditzy. A shot rang out, and a body crumpled lifelessly to the ground.

Daring stared at Glothrop’s body, then turned mutely to regard the stallion who’d shot him.

“He should have just paid me,” declared Doctor Caballeron as he stepped into the room, smoking revolver in one hoof. “We could have avoided this unpleasantness.” He turned his attention to Daring Do and smiled. “But then we couldn’t have this conversation.”

Daring’s eyes narrowed. “The Goblet of Infinite Possibilities is unmade, Caballeron. It’s worthless to you now.”

“Oh, this is not about the Goblet, my dear Daring Do,” smirked Caballeron. He cocked the revolver and aimed it at her. “It’s about setting things right.”

The two mares tensed.

Caballeron regarded them inscrutably for a moment, then holstered his weapon. “First and foremost, it’s about setting the future right,” he said. “It seems the both of you are important to it, at least that’s what I was told four minutes ago, and I can’t exactly turn a profit if there’s no future.”

Daring’s eyes widened. Doctor Ditzy… the gun for an unexpected ally… it was him?

Turning, Caballeron started walking deeper into the castle. “A pleasure as always, Daring Do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see about looting some priceless artifacts so this trip isn’t a total waste of my time.”

Slack-jawed, Daring watched him go. After all these years, maybe he does still… maybe… “Caballeron!” she called out. He halted, but did not turn. “It was today.”

That made him look back. “I beg your pardon?”

Oh, Celestia, do I really want to open this door? Daring bit her lip and hesitated. Pony up, girl! He just saved us! “Back in the Mad Artificer’s Chamber, you asked me when was the last time I saw you be a good stallion.” Daring swallowed. “It was today.”

The two of them stared at each other for a moment. More than once, Caballeron opened his mouth to say something. In the end he said nothing, but Daring saw tears in his eyes as he turned and walked away.

Neither Ditzy nor Daring broke the silence for a few moments. Eventually, Ditzy said, “So, uh… do you… need a minute?”

Daring gave a half smile. “No, I think I’m good.” Better than I’ve been in a while.

“Caballeron’s your friend, isn’t he?”

“He was. Once.”

Ditzy nodded. “Maybe he still is?”

Maybe, thought Daring, not trusting herself to speak. Maybe.

“It’s good to have friends,” pronounced Ditzy.

Daring smiled warmly. “Yeah, Ditzy. It is.” She looked around at the strangely quiet room. “Even if we only know them for a short while.”

“Yeah,” agreed Ditzy, a somber note in her voice.

The adventurer threw a foreleg over the grey mare’s withers. “Come on, friend. Let’s head back to civilization.”

Ditzy perked up at being called ‘friend.’ “Okay!” she said brightly. The two of them began the slow walk to the exit, taking a leisurely pace to avoid any remaining traps. “Heck of a weird delivery,” said Ditzy. “Even by Ponyville standards.”

Daring chuckled. “Good to know some things still faze you ponies.”

“Yeah,” laughed Ditzy. Then, more hesitantly, “Say… Daring?”

“Hm?”

“Do you think… do you think maybe… we could go adventuring again? You know, if you want?”

“Ditzy,” replied Daring with a grin, “I think that’s a distinct possibility.”

Author's Note

I hope you all enjoyed one of the most random things I've ever written. As with many things on this site, it's mostly FanOfMostEverything's fault.

You see, I wanted to enter FOME's "Most Delightful Ponidox" contest, which must involve at least one character meeting at least one other version of that character. I thought of many ideas, but none of them were feasible.

Then I remembered that, in a chapter of my story Homecoming, one of the characters referenced the fact that, during the war, Ditzy Doo ended up going on a series of adventures with Daring Do.

“Never would have happened if Ditzy Doo hadn’t gotten embroiled in that whole business with Daring Do, Caballeron, and the Goblet of Infinite Possibilities.”

FOME followed that by saying this:

"Hey, you try working with five other versions of yourself, two of whom are balding apes, and see how much collateral damage you do to causality."

... and that started the wheels turning.

You see, I'd always wanted to write a story based about Do and Doo saving the world, but I never planned to actually do it. But, with no better ideas, I decided to ask if it would be kosher to do it for this contest. I asked FOME, and this was the response:

Unless the story involves dimenional travel, the distinction between an instance from a different timeline and an echo of the could-have-been is largely academic. Probability ghosts definitely qualify as fulfilling the prompt. Also, kudos for coming up with an option I had never considered.”

Which is funny... because FOME kinda prompted all of this with that comment.

Now, some of you may be thinking, "Hey! Are you trying to bribe the judge by writing a story the judge wanted to see happen and based on an idea the judge had?!" To which I say, "No... and you're just going to have to take my word on that."

Even if I was trying to bribe the judge, I don't think it would work. For one thing, Ditzy Doo would find it thoroughly unsportsmanlike, and that is one thing I imagine FOME could not abide. :derpytongue2: All I can say is that I hope you enjoyed this odd foray into storytelling as much as I enjoyed writing it.