The SCP Foundation: Field Agent Dash

Princess Twilight Sparkle return this document to the nearest SCP Foundation personnel immediately.

This message will repeat.

Twilight was losing her mind. The spell would not stop repeating the same stupid message. Twilight cradled her head in her hooves; this spell had given her a massive headache which made sense, it was shouting in her head after all.

“Uh Twilight you ok?”

Twilight lifted her head to look at the voice, it was Spike. He was awake now as it was seven in the morning at this point. He was standing at the top of the stairs that led to the library’s main room which is where she was laying down. She had a book about mind spells out in front of her and was trying to read the book to find a counterspell. The key word was trying as she couldn’t focus on the book in any way, shape or form. Her head just hurt too much. It was like a weight was hanging in her mind constantly reminding her-

Princess Twilight Sparkle return this document to the nearest SCP Foundation personnel immediately.

This message will repeat.

“Shut up!!!!” Twilight shouted in anger. For Three hours she had this spell in her head repeating every two minutes. Twilight was on the verge of tears, no wait. The alicorn lifted a hoof up to her muzzle and felt her eyes start to water.

“Hey what did I do?” Spike complained as he walked down the stairs. Then when he got closer to Twilight he noticed that Twilight was starting to cry. He ran down the stairs worried about her.

“I’m sorry Spike I have a terrible headache.” Twilight said apologetically to the dragon. This apology confused the baby dragon. “You have had magic overuse headaches more times than I can count. What’s different about this one?”

“I-I don’t know.” She lied, she knew exactly what was different about this headache. The voice in her head that ordered her to find the nearest SCP Foundation Personnel. After all this pain Twilight didn’t care if Rainbow knew that she knew about her other job.

“Spike please do me a favor and get Rainbow Dash here.” The dragon opened his mouth to question the alicorn but Twilight stopped him. “Don’t question it please just do it.” Spike nodded “Uh, ok.” Spike made his way out the door to look for the rainbow maned pegasus.

The door closed with a thud, leaving Twilight alone. She tried to get up off the floor but was interrupted.

Princess Twilight Sparkle return this document to the nearest SCP Foundation personnel immediately.

This message will repeat.

Twilight curdled up and started stroking her tall for comfort.

Rainbow was doing her morning patrol of Ponyville. This time looking for the Doctor Wondertainment toy that was somewhere in the Ponyville area. The file said it looked like a pair of thin wooden wings and the toy was named ‘Grow a wing’. The toy did exactly as on the tin. The user grew a pair of wings using the body mass of whoever put on the toy. This however could kill or maim the user if they didn’t have enough bone or muscle mass and then the user would shed the wings after thirty minutes losing all the blood and bone in the process.

Rainbow had found a pair of orange wings laying on the ground in the park but no toy or pony. After she disposed of the wings in the Everfree she started looking around the park but no luck so far.

“I don’t have time for this,” Dash muttered, the wings she found meant that somepony had used the artifact nearby. Rainbow looked around quickly checking for anypony. Not seeing any she landed on the ground, reached back into her invisible saddle bag and pulled out what looked like a compass, at least to any other pony who didn’t work for the Foundation.

The compass was a Hume level reader. When opened a little mechanical display would show how many Humes there are where she stood. It’s two ‘compass’ arrows would point to the nearest highest and lowest Hume count respectively. To finish the compass off the outer edge ring had the actual markings of a compass in denominations of 10 degrees with North, South, East and West in their proper places. The whole outer ring would spin to tell her the direction she was facing based on an arrow that pointed forwards at the top of the compass.

The Reality Compass, as most staff called it, was not super reliable like with most things when dealing with the anomalous. The compass would give her a general direction to look instead of just hoping to come across the anomaly.

When she opened it the arrows spohn wildly for a moment along with the compass ring, letting out a winding sound of gears and ticking as it did so. Once it settled Rainbow chose to follow the negative arrow at random. It pointed to her right towards a tree that stood with two others just like it.

Rainbow lifted off the ground and started flying to the trees. As she got closer she started to hear fait crying come from behind the trees. She zipped to the trees as fast as she could. What she found was more sad than anything else. There was an orange earth pony colt crying quietly. He looked emaciated no doubt from the pair of wooden wings laying on the ground next to him.

Rainbow hated it when young creatures got caught up with the anomalous. It usually ended with their deaths, but it looks like this colt got lucky. There were two stubs where the wings had shedded off making him look more like a dewinged pegasus then an earth pony.

Rainbow silently picked up the anomalous object and put it in her bags along with the Reality Compass, then pulled out an amnestic. Fortunately the colt didn’t even move when Rainbow in injected him, probably was too weak to move with the blood loss and lack of muscle mass.

Rainbow picked up the now sleeping colt and flew to the Ponyville hospital. Once she entered the check in room a unicorn with blue coat and white mane at the desk looked up then gasped. “What happened?” The stallion asked as he ran over to Rainbow. At the same time he levitated a stretcher and moved it in front of the pegasus. “Don’t know I found him like this.” Rainbow answered as she laid the colt on the stretcher.

With that the pony ran off with the emaciated colt. Rainbow was supposed to stay because the hospital would want to know more about the colt from her perspective. But Rainbow flew out of the hospital as some creature in the Department of External Affairs would change the records. Most likely this event would be completely scrubbed off the records, as it was so minor it would be the easiest choice.

Rainbow took to the skies once again but this time went not to her house but to the post office. She landed outside and quickly looked inside the office. No pony except Derpy Hooves was in the post office, Excellent.

“Morning Derpy.” Rainbow said as she walked up to the front desk. “Morning Rainbow, what can the Ponyville post office do for you today?” Derpy greeted cheerful as always as she pulled out a quill and paper. “Actually I’m here on more unusual business.” Rainbow answered using the code word.

“Ok, one second please.” Derpy got up and went to the doorway to the back room, stuck her head in the room. After a second the grey mare said. “We’re clear.” Derpy went back to the counter and looked up at Dash. “What we got this time.”

Rainbow got right to work. “It's a Safe class anomaly, Doctor Wondertainment.” Rainbow pulled out the pair of wooden wings and put it on the counter with the file of the anomaly as well. Derpy sighed “Any victims?” She asked as she pulled out a box that would fit the object. “Yea I know of one colt, he got lucky.” Rainbow replied casually.

“That’s good.” Derpy said with cheer returning to her voice. “You got it from here Derpy?” The grey mare nodded having finished packing the wings. “Yea, it's headed for Site 77. Stay safe Dash.” Rainbow nodded at the mail mare. “You too.”

With that done Rainbow got back to her daily routine. Or at least she would have if she wasn’t interrupted by Spike calling out her name as soon as she left the post office.

“Rainbow!”

Rainbow landed after doing a pointless loop as she landed in front of the baby dragon. The loop was to keep up her appearance as a Wonderbolt reserve.

“Yeah Spike whats up?” Rainbow asked casually. Blowing a piece of her rainbow mane out of her line of sight. Internally she wondered why Spike would need her this early in the morning?

“Twilight needs you for her headache apparently.” Spike told her, sounding equally confused and concerned. “Why does Twilight need me?” Rainbow asked confused. “Don’t know, just said she needed you.” Spike answered.

“Welp see you there.”

“Wait the library’s” Rainbow was already gone “on the other side of town.” Spike groaned and started walking back to the library.

Rainbow opened the door to the library and immediately spotted Twilight Sparkle laying on the library floor, curled up. “Twilight!” Rainbow quickly flew to Twilight concerned for her lavender friend. Rainbow took in Twilight’s state, she had been crying going by the tear stains running down her muzzle. Her mane was a mess, fraying and sticking out in random directions. She was stroking her tail for comfort and her wings. Rainbow cringed, bent feathers all around the alicorn’s wings, she wouldn’t be flying anywhere easily.

“I-I’m sorry Rai-n-nbow.” Twilight basically whimpered out clearly struggling to talk. Rainbow landed in front of Twilight confused. “What why?” Twilight turned her head to look at Rainbow, then looked at a book that was laying in front of her.

Rainbow taking the hint picked up the book. As she did so something fell out of the book and land on the ground. Dash looked at the object, her face was looking back at her. It was her old SCP Foundation ID card that had fallen out of Twilight's book and the card’s memory removal spell was armed too.

Two emotions quickly rose taking over Rainbow’s mind, one was absolute anger. She was furious, no, livid with the nosy alicorn so much so Dash wanted to sock her across the face. But another emotion won out for dominance, laughter. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing.

Rainbow dropped the book in her laughter, she could just barely stand on her hooves. She had no idea why she was laughing but she couldn’t stop. Maybe it was the inevitability of the situation or how she thought she could protect Twilight for just a bit longer from the anomalous.

After a minute Rainbow managed to stop her laughter enough to fly over to the library door, lock it closed, close the blinds and walk back to the lavender mare. “Of course you would Twilight, of course you of all fucking ponies would continue to shove your muzzle where it shouldn’t belong. Your fucken’ curiosity even drove you to steal from me.” Rainbow’s voice was filled with a mix of mirth and venom.

Rainbow started pacing around Twilight, the alicorn’s eyes following the angry pegasus as she circled her. “Maybe after two years you would realize there are things you shouldn’t mess with. Things you weren’t supposed to know. But of course not, you’re Twilight Sparkle. You have too SHOVE!” Rainbow stomped the floor with a forehoof cracking the wood apart.

“YOUR!”

Stomp.

“MUZZLE!”

Stomp.

“WHERE IT DOES NOT BELONG!” The last stomp shattered the library floor sending pieces of wood floor into the air. Rainbow was panting slightly, more from anger then actual exertion.

“I’m sorry Da-Dash.” Twilight weakly apologized, dry sobbing at this point. She was scared of Rainbow, terrified even. “Ohhh I bet you are Twilight. I bet you are.” Rainbow ended with a hollow chuckle. Twilight flinched at each hoofstep Rainbow made as she reentered the alicorns line of sight.

“Please I’m sorry-“ she was cut off by the spell.

Princess Twilight Sparkle, return this document to the nearest SCP Foundation personnel immediately.

This message will repeat.

“Just make it stop!” Twilight pleaded. Rainbow sighed, her fury calming at Twilight’s pleaded.“I will, but prepare for a long one on one discussion.” The pegasus pulled out an inhibitor ring from her invisible saddle bag, and placed it on the alicorn’s horn. Twilight didn’t even notice the ring on her horn.

Then Rainbow picked up the ID card on the ground and looked at the back where the rune was. After a second Rainbow flipped the card to face Twilight who quickly closed her eyes. “Look at the card Twilight.” Rainbow ordered the mare. Twilight did as ordered and passed out when she looked at the card.

Rainbow let out a loud sigh and she put the card in her bag. She was still angry at Twilight but much less so than before. “Wasn’t expecting to do this today but I have no choice now do I?” Rainbow muttered to herself. Rainbow picked up Twilight in her forelegs and flew her to the basement. Setting her down on a pillow that was next to a stack of books.

There was a knock at the door. “Rainbow why is the door locked?” It was Spike. Rainbow zipped up the stairs and to the door. She opened it saying “she’s resting right now Spike. She said you’re free to do whatever you want as long as you come back much later, at least give her four to five hours.” Spike nodded and ran off to do something, she didn’t care what.

With that done she relocked the door to the library and went back to Twilight who was still sleeping. Rainbow knew she would wake up in a few minutes so she waited. “This is going to be fun.”