Pinkie Pie woke up in a nondescript room with no doors or windows. The only things around worth seeing were a few boxes scattered across the floor.
Despite the distressing circumstances, she didn't panic. Considering everything else that'd happened in her life, this wasn't that weird. Sure, she worried about how to escape, but if she had gotten into this room, then there must be a way to get out. That's how rooms worked.
Her head throbbed. What was the last thing she could remember? She'd been with Twilight, she was pretty sure, but the memory seemed hazy, as if she saw it through gasoline fumes.
The first thing she needed to do was rule out dreaming. If she could pinch herself she would, but being a pony, the next best thing was to hit herself in the leg. She did so, and it hurt. She didn't wake up. That ruled out dreaming. There were only a few million possibilities left.
She approached the nearest box and removed the lid. It revealed a glow that rivaled the intensity of a collapsing star. Pinkie squinted through it, and the lights started to take on shapes.
Pinkie Pie woke up in Twilight's library. She could have sworn it had been destroyed, but then remembered that this was the day Twilight had arrived in Ponyville. That meant it hadn't been blown up yet. If her memory served her, she had started planning a party the instant she saw Twilight earlier that day. This one would turn out pretty well, though Twilight would spend all her time up in her room instead of socializing.
The room was pitch-black when Twilight entered. Pinkie yelled, "Surprise!" turned on the lights, and popped out. But the two of them were the only ones in the room. There were supposed to be a bunch of other ponies here, right?
Twilight ran over to Pinkie as if her life depended on it.
"Hey, are we friends already, or is this our first party together?" Pinkie asked.
"Pinkie, you need to listen to me," said Twilight. "Something went wrong, and we're trapped. We need to find a way out, but I can't stay here for long. I don't know how much time I have, but it's not enough to come up with a plan. Just don't lose yourself, and remember, most importantly—"
Twilight's expression changed to a big smile. All the ponies who were supposed to be here came down the stairs and acted the way ponies typically do at parties.
"Most importantly what?" asked Pinkie.
"We should have a great time! I'm looking forward to getting to know you and everyone else in Ponyville!" said Twilight, as she went to pour hot sauce into a cup.
"Aren't you supposed to go up to your room?" asked Pinkie Pie.
"Not this time! I've had the most wonderful day preparing for the arrival of the Princess, and can't wait to make friends with all of you!" She slurped down the hot sauce. Pinkie waited for her to react, but she didn't.
"What were you trying to tell me earlier? Should I be worried?"
"Oh Pinkie, don't you have enough worries? Couldn't we just have a party and reminisce about the good old days?"
Pinkie narrowed her eyes. "You're not Twilight, are you?"
Twilight's smile grew wider. "Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters! Who are you?"
"That's a pretty invasive question. Why don't you tell me who you are?" asked Twilight.
"I'm Pinkie Pie," said Pinkie Pie.
"I'm also Pinkie Pie," said Twilight, "I'm a part of you, and we're going to get to know each other very well."
The sounds of the partygoers had died down. They all stared at Pinkie with unblinking faces.
"Did you do something to Twilight?" asked Pinkie.
"I do nothing to others," said Twilight with the crowd simultaneously. All the ponies spoke in perfect monotone. "I can only act upon you. The tribunal is in session. Pinkie Pie, you will live within your own soul for eternity. This judgment has come from the highest authority."
"Celestia?"
"Higher."
"But Celestia is the highest authority!"
"It has come from within yourself."
Pinkie laughed. "Silly! I don't have any authority. Aside from being an element of harmony, but that doesn't really give me authority, just responsibilities. And those got destroyed. Or they will get destroyed, a few years from now. And how am I supposed to judge myself? Isn't that a conflict of interest? We should ask someone else to do it."
"All know their own souls, and you have been judged unfit for society. This is a punishment you have placed upon yourself."
"I don't remember doing that! And I have a good memory!"
"If you forgot, it is for a reason. Everything in this realm is your own design."
Pinkie stared at Twilight with such intensity her face started to sweat.
"What are you doing?" asked the ponies.
"If I control the realm, then I can make whatever I want happen, right? Well, I'll make you disappear!"
"No. Only a part of you controls this place."
"And I control that part?"
"No, I control that part."
"That's not fair! Give me my part back!"
"No. It's mine now."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please with sugar on top?"
"No!"
"Extra-special super please with sprinkles?"
"Enough!"
The setting turned to a pitch-black void. Pinkie felt herself falling through nothingness.
"Escape is futile. Do not attempt it."
Pinkie fell for either a second or a year.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the same nondescript room. Her memory was blurry, like someone had smeared grease all over it, but she still had the gist of what just happened to her. It was hard to remember though, like trying to recall a dream right after waking up. It took a few minutes for her to get all the details straight.
She didn't really believe what the fake Twilight had said, that she had done this to herself. It didn't make any sense. She'd dealt with her problems and moved past them. Even if she did do something wrong, there were surely more productive ways to handle it than trapping herself in her own soul.
She went to examine the box she had previously opened. It was shut. She opened it again. The same blinding light emerged from it, and Pinkie could see Twilight's library in the same weird, cosmic way. She closed the box again before the scene fully materialized.
She counted the other boxes, which was easy, because they were numbered. There were six total. The one she had opened was number one, and, for no particular reason, she opened box number two. Another blast of light came from underneath the lid. She focused hard on what happened around her, and noticed that the light seemed to mold the room into a different shape. Right when it became recognizable, something happened in her brain.
Pinkie Pie woke up in Sugarcube Corner. She had a huge order that needed to be done in a half hour. It would be tough, but she could make the deadline if she worked hard. She busied herself in the kitchen and ignored all distractions, even the voice in her head that kept saying this wasn't real. But baking was serious business, and she couldn't half-ass it, even if reality was only a mirage some malicious entity had made to punish her for unknown sins.
In a half hour she had baked a dozen dozen cupcakes. Technically, it was called a gross, but she didn't have the heart to describe the pastries with that word. It seemed rude.
The clock struck, and she had completed her task on time. Now, if only she could remember who she had made these for.
The door opened, and Applejack walked in.
"Pinkie, you have those pastries ready?"
"Yep! They're all wrapped up and ready to go! What's the event, anyway?"
"Didn't you hear? We're going to Pinkie Pie's funeral. It was in her will that it be catered with a gross of cupcakes."
"I wouldn't have called them a gross. Also, I died? When did that happen?"
"Last week. Here, could you help me load these onto the wagon?"
"Sure thing!"
Pinkie Pie helped Applejack load up the wagon with a dozen dozen cupcakes.
"Hey Applejack, are you real, or are you just a projection of an endless nightmare?"
"I'm a nightmare, I reckon."
"Okie dokie. Any tips on how to escape?"
Applejack laughed. "You can't escape, Pinkie. It's an eternal prison of your own design."
"But I don't remember designing anything!"
"Listen, this place is created from your guilt, despair, self-doubt. You know, those kind of things. You've given them control over your mind, which means they know how to keep you here. Trying to leave is as pointless as scales on a woodpecker."
They finished loading the cupcakes, and Pinkie helped Applejack pull the wagon to her own modestly attended outdoor funeral. Most of Ponyville must have been busy, because only Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were there. Her actual will specified that she wanted all of Ponyville to throw a party in her honor, and that clearly wasn't happening.
Fluttershy stood before everyone, and Pinkie caught the end of her eulogy.
"I guess we could say that Pinkie Pie died as she lived. Getting crushed by a box of candy bars. Thank you."
Rainbow Dash applauded, then stopped when she noticed no one else joined in.
"Thank you, Fluttershy," said Rarity, who was apparently presiding over the funeral. "Pinkie Pie, would you like to say a few words?"
"Okay!" said Pinkie Pie. She walked in front of the closed casket and faced her friends.
"How are you all doing tonight?" she asked.
"My friend is dead," said Fluttershy.
"Yeah, show some respect!" yelled Rainbow Dash.
"Sorry! On this, uh, sad occasion, it's important to remember the good things in life, like that I'm not really dead, and this is all some sort of nightmare dimension. Well, I guess only one of those is a good thing. I know I'm supposedly doing this to myself, but I have a hard time believing that. What could I have done that would make me think I deserved this? I mean, I make mistakes sometimes, but you can forgive mistakes. Did I do something terrible? Could you at least tell me what it is?"
"You betrayed us," her friends said in unison.
"What? No. No I didn't."
"It is the truth. You accepted this punishment as penance," they said.
"But why would I do that? I love my friends!"
"You were made to choose between them and yourself, and you chose yourself."
Pinkie scratched her chin. "Are you sure?"
"We are part of your soul. We speak the truth."
"I don't know, it sounds fishy to me. What happened, specifically?"
"You control your own memory. You can remember whenever you want."
"But I want to remember now, and I don't! What's with that, huh?" Pinkie stomped her hoof on the ground. "You know, I'm starting to think you don't care about being helpful!"
"My only prerogative is to punish you for the rest of your life."
"Well, my prerogative is to get a straight answer out of someone for once!"
"Then we will torture you by being obtuse and giving incomplete information."
"That's not torture! That's just annoying!"
"Constant annoyance will become torturous in time."
"That's not very nice of you."
"I am not nice!"
Pinkie scoffed. "You could say that again."
"I am not nice!"
The world turned to a void again. Pinkie didn't feel like she was falling this time. Instead it felt more like something pulled her along by a string, and she could hear distant laughter coming from every direction.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the same nondescript room. She rubbed her aching head and tried to think of a plan. She'd handle box number three differently.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the Everfree Forest. The sky was black and she could barely see anything. Before she had time to react, someone tackled her to the ground.
"Be quiet, Pinkie," said Rainbow Dash. "It's coming."
Pinkie Pie remained quiet. In fact, she didn't do anything. If it weren't for the rise and fall of her chest, she might have been dead.
"We need to go, now," said Rainbow Dash. "It'll catch us if we stay here."
Pinkie Pie continued to do nothing. The forest rumbled, and a distant growl grew louder.
"Don't you want to escape now? There's a big scary monster, it's gonna kill us if we don't go."
Pinkie Pie did a good impression of a comatose body.
"Oh, for the love of—"
The scenery turned to a black void.
"This isn't any fun if you don't do anything!"
Pinkie Pie didn't do anything.
"Seriously, I'm losing my patience! If you're not gonna play along, then just stay in the nondescript room. When you're ready to actually participate, open the box. That's the rule, got it? No more funny business."
Pinkie Pie woke up in the nondescript room. She examined the room, just to make sure it was nondescript, and it indeed fit the word. It was about the same size as her bedroom, and only the boxes were there to keep her company.
She wouldn't let herself freak out yet. She had three more boxes to try. She couldn't discount the possibility of escaping.
Pinkie plopped down on the floor, hummed to herself for a few minutes, and got bored. She decided she'd rather open the next box then be alone with her thoughts.
She opened box four, and the light engulfed the room the same way it had three times before.
Pinkie Pie woke up in Fluttershy's house. A cup of piping hot tea was in her hoof, and she took a tentative sip. No sugar. She spat it out, right onto Fluttershy's face.
"Sorry you don't like the tea," said Fluttershy.
"You know, it's not very nice of you to only talk to me while you look like my friends. What do you look like, really?"
"I don't have a physical form," said Fluttershy. "I'm a part of your soul, remember? Besides, I'm sort of Fluttershy. I'm using your memories of her to model my behavior."
"You're not doing a convincing Fluttershy. She doesn't talk like that. She barely talks at all, in fact. You know, I used to think that she didn't like me, but it turns out she's just like that to everyone. I couldn't really hold it against her."
Fluttershy stared at Pinkie with the intensity of a chess grandmaster. "You know, I, um, don't actually like you. You were right."
A scowl appeared on Pinkie's face. "Oh, that is a line you don't want to cross! You really are gonna put mean words in my friend's mouth like that? I don't have to listen to this. Send me to the nondescript room already!"
"But Pinkie, I just want to talk to you."
"No you don't! You want to slander Fluttershy's good name, and I refuse to be part of that!"
"I just, um, said it wrong."
Pinkie let out a huff. "Fine. You have one more shot."
Fluttershy sighed. "Pinkie, how are you able to be happy all the time?"
"I'm not happy all the time. Nopony is happy all the time. I'm just happy most of the time, except when something sad happens. Then I'm sad, but only for a little bit."
"But don't you sometimes wonder about problems that don't seem to have any solution? No matter how hard you think, you just can't figure out what to do?"
"Oh, you mean a why-hole."
Fluttershy furrowed her brow. "A what-hole?"
"No, a why-hole. See, sometimes you ask why, which is all well and good, but then you ask another why to the first why."
Fluttershy looked like she wanted to tell Pinkie a lizard laid eggs in her ears, but couldn't find the right words. "I still don't understand," she said.
"Well, for example, I like cake. Why? Because it's tasty! Why? Because it's sweet! Why? Because there's sugar in it! But why is the sugar sweet? Why does the baking make the flavors come out? Why don't I like healthy food? Why can't I just eat green vegetables like I'm supposed to? You see, if you keep asking why, at some point you will fall down the why-hole and question things that have no good answers. You could go crazy asking those kinds of questions!"
Fluttershy cocked her head. "That sounds like a fancy way of saying that you shouldn't think about it too much."
"That's not quite true," said Pinkie. "It's more like there are some questions that you don't really need to answer to live your life. Because who really cares why sugar is sweet? It's sweet, and that's the truth."
"Sugar is sweet because of its chemical composition," said Fluttershy.
"But why is the chemical composition like that?" asked Pinkie Pie. "See? You could keep this up for the rest of your life if you never drew any boundaries. I used to be bad at boundaries, if I'm being honest. I used to fall down why-holes all the time, but nowadays I know how to spot the signs. Too many whys at once can leave you stuck in a hole. You know, I've never told anyone this before. I always worried that someone would use this against me somehow."
Fluttershy's wide-eyed stare made Pinkie believe she didn't understand. Then a malicious grin spread across her face, and Pinkie knew she made a big mistake.
"You big jerk!" said Pinkie. "You knew I'd let my guard down around Fluttershy! You better not use this newfound information to torture me more effectively!"
Fluttershy responded by disappearing into an endless black void. Pinkie fell through it.
"Oh for the love of—"
Pinkie Pie woke up in the nondescript room, yet again. Only two boxes left, though they gave her a foreboding feeling, like something terrible lurked inside them. Maybe she felt this way because she knew for a fact that her personal hell was literally inside those boxes.
What a strange hell it had been. In the past, when she wondered what eternal damnation would be like for her, she imagined that she wouldn't have a tongue. That way, she wouldn't be able to talk or taste, which were two of her favorite things. Then all her friends would visit her and say they never liked her, and to top it all off, everyone would kick her out of Ponyville and forget her instantly.
But the being that claimed to be part of her soul didn't do any of those things. If it really was her soul, then it should have done all of them, since it would know her greatest fears. Right? What even was this? As far as eternal damnation went, this could be a whole lot worse. She felt disappointed in the lack of effort her soul put into torturing her.
There wasn't anything left to do but try another box. She opened number five, and the scene transition happened.
Pinkie Pie woke up in Rarity's favorite spa. She had been banned from this place in real life for eating all of the soap, but the staff welcomed her as if it never happened.
Pinkie sighed. Usually being around ponies would make her feel better, but there was an intense loneliness to knowing that every pony was just a malevolent manifestation.
She allowed them to take her through the motions. Putting on the facemask, easing her into the tub, feeding her bars of that delicious soap. The flavor was the same as she remembered. Soapy.
"I'm happy to see you're enjoying yourself," said Rarity. She sat across from Pinkie Pie. She had no idea where Rarity came from.
"Something's been bothering me about you," said Pinkie as she finished a lavender bar. "You've told me that you're me, but you don't act like me at all."
"I'm only part of you, dear. A dreadfully self-loathing part, if I'm being frank. Think of me as a jumble of miscellaneous thoughts that all happen to have a bone to pick with you."
"But I thought all my self-loathing was in the past. I've dealt with it!"
Rarity gave a smug laugh. "Oh you naive fool, you can never escape me. I will be a part of you forever. I may lie dormant for a while, but eventually I will emerge stronger than ever. You'll wonder how you ever thought to be rid of me."
Pinkie thought for a moment. "You're not acting the way a part of me would. I've spent some time imagining my personal hell. Why doesn't this resemble it?"
"I thought I had some better ideas."
Pinkie felt the warm bath water relax her muscles, and the aftertaste of the lavender soap at the back of her throat. "I don't understand what you think is so terrible about this."
"It's my hope that you'll turn around on that someday. That eventually you'll realize that this is the worst of all possible outcomes for you."
"Why?"
"Because you're alone."
Pinkie laughed. She couldn't help it. "You know, I could be alone and going through excruciating pain at the same time. Just leaving me with whatever this is... well, it could be a lot worse."
After she said it, Pinkie thought that maybe it wasn't wise to give an entity that existed to make her suffer ideas about how to torture her. Oh well.
"You didn't listen to me. I am a part of you. Right now, you're talking to yourself. And you always will, for the rest of your life. No one else is here. You are alone."
Pinkie furrowed her brow. She thought of a little filly on a rock farm. She loved her family, of course, and they loved her, but they didn't really understand her. It wasn't until she became an element of harmony that she ever felt like anyone understood her, and even then, there were gaps. Some little spaces where other's perceptions of her were wrong. But she realized that searching to be truly, completely understood by someone was a waste of time. Someone else will always misunderstand you in some way. Looking to be perfectly understood was like falling down a why-hole.
Perhaps she buried her feelings, refused to deal with the reality of her situation. Maybe she filled her life with distractions so she didn't have to think about an obvious emptiness that she couldn't do anything about. Maybe being forced to think about this was her personal hell.
Rarity smiled at Pinkie the same way a serial killer might smile at someone tied up in their basement.
"You understand, then. I'm quite impressed with you, Pinkie Pie. I thought this would take a few years, at least."
"You already knew about why-holes, didn't you?" asked Pinkie.
"Naturally, dear. I can answer a 'why' for you right now. This entire place is designed to make you ask that question, and no good answers exist. No matter how hard you try, they will elude you. How does that make you feel?"
Pinkie paused for a moment. "You already know the answer, don't you?"
"Well, isn't someone catching on? I'll leave you to mull it over. You can find me in the last box."
The world turned to a black void. It made Pinkie shiver.
Pinkie Pie woke up, but she kept her eyes closed. She didn't want to see the same nondescript room with the same six boxes lying on the floor. Maybe she could stay like this forever. This fragment of herself was bad company. Why would she bother talking to it again?
The worst why-hole she'd ever fallen down had happened when all her friends threw her a surprise birthday party, and she mistook it as them ditching her for no good reason. She had a nice time and everything, but the incident left a mark on her. It scared her, and she wanted to make sure her brain would never be in that place again.
She tried a bunch of things to prevent herself from falling down another why-hole. She kept a diary, talked about her problems to her friends, and even tried meditating, though none of those helped. Writing was hard, she didn't really know how to bring up serious topics in conversation, and meditating made her alone with her thoughts, which was the opposite of what she wanted.
A few more why-holes snuck up on her here and there, but she managed to move past them. The worst was behind her. Or so she thought. Now that she had a chance to mull it over, she discovered that she never really dealt with her problems. Her life just got busy. Things kept trying to distract her, and she let herself be distracted.
Now, with no distractions left, she felt a why-hole creeping up on her like a monster in the night. If she didn't have a distraction, she'd be left with her own thoughts. At some point, she'd be so desperate for anyone to talk to she'd open a box again. Her soul would say exactly the worst thing for her to hear, and would drive her to isolation. Then, after being alone for long enough, she'd be so desperate she'd open a box again. The cycle would repeat.
Forever.
Pinkie jumped up and down, ran around the room. Anything to keep her heart racing. It didn't help. Her mind worked on overdrive, tried to think of something, anything to keep the why-hole at bay.
Maybe there would be an answer in the last box. She didn't have anything left. There had to be an escape in box six.
She opened it up.
Pinkie Pie woke up when Twilight smacked her in the face.
"Don't touch that!" Twilight said. "It's dangerous!"
Pinkie rubbed her head. She remembered that she and Twilight had gone underneath the Canterlot castle to investigate her new treasure trove. Celestia had left the newly crowned Princess Twilight in charge of some of her magical relics. Pinkie had tagged along because she wanted to see if any of them did something cool.
"Do you feel okay?" Twilight asked.
"I have a headache," said Pinkie. "Other than that, I think I'm fine."
"I'm happy to hear that. Wearing the Crown of Turmoil traps ponies in their own souls. I tried to warn you before you put it on. Are you sure you feel fine?"
Pinkie smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, I feel great! Twilight, I'm so happy to see you!" Pinkie gave Twilight a big hug. "I knew it would all be okay, I just knew it!"
Twilight hugged Pinkie back. "Uh, sure, Pinkie. Anytime."
Pinkie resisted the urge to swing Twilight around the room. She'd never have to think about another why-hole ever again. Now that she had been freed from her prison, things could go back to normal. Already the nondescript room seemed like a dream. She didn't need to worry about it.
"Twilight, that is the most evil thing I've ever experienced! You need to lock it away with a hundred keys! Or throw it down a well. Or maybe you should smash it with a big magic attack!"
Twilight sighed. "I told you to be careful down here. Don't touch anything until I've identified it with the list the Princess gave me. The next one could be even worse."
"You don't need to tell me twice. I'll be still as a statue over here!"
Twilight checked her list, then squinted at Pinkie.
"This says that no one has ever escaped the curse of the Crown of Turmoil. You might be the first one to live through it. What was it like?"
"I don't know if I want to talk about it."
"Oh, please? It could be important for history. You don't want what happened to you to ever happen to another pony, do you?"
"Well... I guess not," Pinkie sighed. "Okay. I kept waking up in a nondescript room, with six boxes. When I opened the boxes, they took me to different places, where all my friends were, but they weren't really my friends, they were something else."
"How did this make you feel?" asked Twilight.
"Awful, Twilight, just awful! I'm so happy I'll never see that horrible room again!"
"Did you feel helpless?"
"Yes!"
"Depressed?"
"Yes!"
"Were you in a why-hole?"
"Ye—" Pinkie didn't finish the word. She'd never told anyone about the why-holes. Not a single other pony.
Twilight's face turned to a familiar smile.
"Got you," she said.
The world turned to an empty void as Pinkie screamed.
Pinkie Pie woke up in a nondescript room. She held her head in her hooves. She didn't know what else to do.
What could she have done to deserve this? Why was she here? Why did she feel this way? Why did this place exist? Why couldn't she stay positive? Why did she feel like other ponies just put up with her? Why would anyone want to be around her? Why was she even alive?
Why?
She stayed like that for a while. Exactly how long, she didn't know.
At some point, she grew desperate for anyone to talk to. She knew she'd open one of the boxes again. The fragment of her soul couldn't be as bad as she remembered. Maybe she could make it see reason. It was a part of herself, after all. Anything would be better than this.
She opened box number one again.
Pinkie Pie woke up in Twilight's library. The scene was the same as the first time she'd been there. Twilight entered, and the lights turned on.
"That was an awful trick you played on me," said Pinkie.
"It's no less than you deserve," said Twilight. "You chose this for yourself, after you betrayed your friends."
"No I didn't!" said Pinkie Pie. "That's a lie! I'd never in a trillion years betray my friends, and no matter what I did, I don't deserve this!"
"Are you sure about that?"
"Positive!"
"Let's see, then."
Pinkie Pie woke up in a hazy room. She opened her eyes and saw Twilight standing over her.
"Wha—"
"Listen to me," said Twilight. "This is the last time I can talk to you. It's too powerful. Have you discovered a way to escape?"
"No."
"Keep trying. You should have time to ask me one question, and hopefully I'll have time to answer."
"Twilight, did I betray you?"
She looked away from Pinkie. "In a manner of speaking."
"Do I deserve this?"
Twilight locked eyes with Pinkie.
"No, you don't. We're all—deeply ashamed of you, Pinkie Pie." Twilight's face warped into an evil smile halfway through the sentence.
Pinkie groaned. "You again! Can't you leave me alone?"
"You don't truly want to be left alone. You want to know what you did? Feast your eyes, and prepare to despair!"
Pinkie made a mental note that "Prepare to despair" would make a good lyric for a song some day, then allowed her eyes to feast.
She saw all her friends, including herself, blasting some evil being with the power of friendship. Pretty normal so far. After he disintegrated, a large portal appeared in the room. Applejack let out a sigh.
"Thank goodness that's over."
"Yeah," said Rainbow Dash, "this has got to be the hardest we've ever had to fight against any enemy. I almost didn't think we'd make it."
"Well," said Twilight, "it did take a long time to discover his weakness, and there were all those lesser demons we vanquished along the way. If someone were to write the story of our journey, it would probably take at least a few hundred thousand words. And what a story it would make! I'd be glued to the page. This is the stuff of legends, friends. The world will remember this battle for generations. I sure feel bad for anyone who missed out on such an epic tale."
"Uh, guys?" said Fluttershy. "Aren't we forgetting something?"
A silence swept over the room.
"We said we'd decide when the time came," said Twilight. "It has to be me. I'll do it."
"No, I will," said Rainbow Dash.
"No, I'll do it," said Applejack.
"I think it should be me," said Fluttershy.
"This is my duty," said Rarity.
Pinkie Pie didn't say anything.
"You guys, this isn't a joke," said Twilight. "You know what will happen to you if you go through that portal? I'm the only one with a chance of coming back."
"With all due respect, Twilight, that's a load of manure," said Applejack. "No one's ever come back. What makes you think you could?"
"Because I might figure it out. According to Luna, it's hypothetically possible to return. If I keep my cool, I could find the way back!"
"No offense, sugarcube, but you're not exactly the most level-headed pony in Equestria. How do you expect to keep your cool in some kind of Dimension of Turmoil?"
"I can handle it! I'm cool right now!" Twilight yelled.
"It's a pipe dream," said Applejack. "There's no point ignoring it. One of us is going through that portal, and won't come back."
"Guys," said Rainbow Dash. "It's getting smaller!"
The portal had been slowly shrinking since it appeared.
"No point dallying, then," said Applejack. She walked toward it.
"Hold on," said Rarity. "It can't be you. Your family depends on you. It should be me."
"What, and you don't have family? Is Sweetie Belle chopped liver?" asked Applejack.
"Of course not!" Rarity snapped. She looked like she was about to bite Applejack's head off. Instead, she took a deep breath. "We don't have time for this. I have a personal reason for wanting to go. I have to do this. Please let me."
"Um, I think I should go," said Fluttershy. "I don't want any of you trapped in such an awful place."
"No!" said Rainbow Dash. "None of you can go! You all have ponies or bunnies that rely on you. The Wonderbolts can replace me easily. I won't be missed. Just let me do it."
"Um—"
"I won't take no for an answer, Fluttershy!"
"Um, Pinkie Pie is at the portal."
Pinkie Pie stood in front of the portal, facing her friends. It had continued to shrink. Soon, a pony wouldn't be able to fit through it.
"I don't think this is right," said Pinkie. "I don't want to lose any of you. Can't we just, maybe, let the portal close? What's the worst that could happen?"
"This is the most powerful enemy we've ever faced!" said Twilight. "Celestia said he's not truly gone until a soul is sacrificed to him. His essence could seep into the entire world!"
"But there has to be another way."
"If there's another way, we should have found it earlier. It's too late. Someone has to go."
Pinkie sighed and turned to the portal.
The other Pinkie, the one helplessly watching her memory unfold, turned to the fragment of her soul.
"I remember now. You don't need to show me the rest of this."
The fragment laughed. "What's the fun in that? Wouldn't you like to hear what's going on in your head at this exact moment?"
"No, I—"
"You're thinking that you couldn't bear to lose any of them. Your friends mean so much to you, and if you lived your life knowing a single one of them was tortured forever, you would never stop thinking about it. So you need to be the sacrifice. But you can't muster up the courage to be alone for eternity. It terrifies you beyond imagination. It would be unbearable. So if you can't go, and your friends can't go, what are you to do? You try to think of loopholes, but none come to mind. So, maybe..."
"Stop."
"...If no one goes through..."
"Stop!"
"...If you don't think about the problem..."
"I said stop!"
"...It will cease to exist."
The scene continued exactly the way she knew it would. Twilight ran to the Pinkie in front of the portal. "Stand aside. I have to go, now."
"No. We can't be separated! Just think of what that would mean! I love you guys. You're my best friends, and I don't know what I'd do without you. And what's the worst that could happen, really?"
"Stop stalling, Pinkie."
"I'm not stalling! I'm... uh... trying to have a philosophical argument with you!"
"Really?" Twilight raised an eyebrow. "What's philosophical about this?"
"I read a philosopher who used this exact scenario to make a point about something."
"Which philosopher?"
"Uh... has Celestia written philosophy?"
"Obviously, but she's never written about this."
"How do you know? Have you read every book she's ever written?"
"Do you know how many books she's written? No one's read them all. I've only been immortal for a short time, and haven't been able to—"
"Twilight!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "Pinkie is about to doom us all! Shut up about books!"
At the rate the portal shrunk, it would be gone in thirty seconds.
Twilight charged at Pinkie. They collided, but Pinkie held her ground.
She looked directly into Pinkie's eyes. "You need to let me go."
"We don't have to do this. Everything will be fine!"
"If we don't face this now, it'll just get worse. You have to let me go."
"But we're supposed to be friends forever!"
Twilight looked Pinkie in the eyes. "Nothing lasts forever, Pinkie."
With a burst of strength, Twilight pushed into Pinkie, and the two of them fell into the portal.
The room turned to a cold, black void.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the nondescript room. She stared at the ceiling.
There's always one question at the bottom of a why-hole that rears its ugly head after she dug deep enough.
Why bother?
Sure, she could come up with something else to try and escape, but why bother? She could open the boxes again to learn more about how things worked here, but why bother? She could, maybe, look for a reason to go on, but why bother?
She couldn't come up with an answer. If she'd just had the guts to be alone forever, she could have spared Twilight this fate.
Poor Twilight. She must have gone through the same thing. Pinkie could only imagine how she must have handled it. The next time Pinkie saw her, the real her, she'd apologize.
Come to think of it, had Twilight actually appeared to Pinkie in this place, or was it just another cruelty, meant to make her feel awful? The two times Twilight had acted like herself seemed real, but how could she possibly know?
So many things were unknowable. The minds of others, the nature of the world, a bunch of basic questions about life. There were some things that she could accept never knowing, but plenty of others wouldn't stop nagging her.
She'd tried so hard to turn away from reality, to keep both her friends and herself safe, but wound up with the worst of both worlds. She should be here alone. It was what she deserved.
Why did she feel this way? That's a question that's started the descent down many why-holes. Because, rationally, she knew her self-loathing had little basis in reality. Most ponies didn't secretly resent her, and all the worst things she's ever done weren't anything that bad. But as time went on and the feeling persisted, she flipped the script. Since she felt terrible, then she must have done something terrible, otherwise she wouldn't have felt this way.
She wondered if part of the reason why she had stood in front of the portal was so she would finally have a good excuse to hate herself. If that had been her goal, then she'd passed with flying colors.
Pinkie was ready to give up. Her only regret was dragging Twilight with her, into an entire dimension that had been designed to instill doubt.
Instill doubt...
Pinkie leapt off the floor.
She had an idea.
Pinkie Pie woke up to a smack in the face. Twilight had knocked the Crown of Turmoil off of her head.
"Don't touch that! It's dangerous!"
She rubbed her temples. The smack had stung. She shook her head and blinked rapidly, scanning the floor.
Pinkie Pie grabbed the crown, ran over to Twilight, and slammed it onto her head. Twilight's eyes glazed over and she stood perfectly still.
Pinkie waited for a few seconds, then took the crown off.
Twilight screamed. "What... what was that?" she asked.
"I just did the same thing to you that you did to me," said Pinkie.
"That was awful! What did I ever do to deserve such a thing?"
"Are you kidding me?"
Twilight glared at her. "No. That was completely different from what I'm doing to you."
"Seriously? Isn't it exactly the same thing?"
"No. I mean, yes. It was the same thing, with the room and the boxes, but other than that, it was different."
Pinkie scratched her head. "Are you okay?"
"No, and it's your fault! I'm part of you, remember? How could you do such a horrible thing to yourself?"
Pinkie scrunched her nose like she'd smelled a rotten pumpkin. "Are... are you serious?"
"It's different when I do it," Twilight said. "I have a good reason for putting you through this. You had no right to do that to me! That wasn't something I'd wish on my worst enemy," said Twilight.
"So, no one should have to go through that?"
"Exactly!" said Twilight, with a smug grin. It quickly turned to a horrified frown. "Wait, no, I mean—"
"You can't take it back. I heard you!"
"No, it's different when I do it to you, because you deserve it."
"But you just said it was so terrible that no one deserves—"
"I don't have to listen to you!" said Twilight.
The world turned to an empty void.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the nondescript room. She felt a pang of regret for making the fragment of her soul go through that. If she had thought of any other way, she would have tried that instead. But her torturer seemed so sure of herself, so confident with her role in her life. If there was one thing Pinkie knew about herself, it's that confidence was a mask to hide insecurity. She'd quite painfully ripped it off, and understood why the soul fragment wouldn't like it.
Still, she had a job to do. She hurried over to box number two.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the bakery. She needed to make a dozen dozen cupcakes, but for the first time in her life, she abandoned her obligation. She ran to where her funeral would be held.
Rarity stood before everyone, eulogizing.
"Didn't Pinkie always smell kind of weird? I mean, she smelled like an artificially flavored jelly bean. Honestly, I'm happy it's closed casket, so the fumes don't—oh, why are you here?" Rarity snarled at Pinkie Pie.
"You can't run from your responsibilities! You're supposed to be torturing me, remember?"
"Can't you give me a moment of peace?" asked Rarity. "I'm grieving for my dead friend right now, and—"
"Oh, please. There probably isn't even anyone in there." Pinkie jostled Rarity aside. She dramatically fell to the ground, even though Pinkie didn't push her that hard. She ignored Rarity's indignant remarks and flung open the casket.
Inside was another Pinkie Pie. She wasn't dead. In fact, she had been in the middle of reading a book. She looked up at Pinkie Pie.
"It's closed casket, pal. Have some respect for the dead."
Pinkie peered at the title of the book. Ethics of Punishment by Princess Celestia.
"How did you get that?" asked Pinkie.
"From the library," said the fragment of Pinkie's soul that looked exactly like Pinkie Pie. "That place is full of books."
"I mean how are you reading a book that I've never read? Isn't this place just my perception of the world? How can a book I didn't read exist here?"
The fragment sighed. "It doesn't. It's just a bunch of blank pages."
"Then why are you reading it?"
"Could you just shut up? I've been through an ordeal and need some guidance in my life right now. A book with blank pages is better than nothing."
"Maybe you could talk to me about it?"
"No. You wouldn't understand."
Pinkie gave the fragment a skeptical look. "You know, I'm probably the only one who could."
The fragment examined Pinkie as if she were an ancient artifact in a museum. Finally, she let out a long sigh. "Okay, fine. I'll take a chance on you. But not here. Find me in box three, and we'll talk."
The world turned to a void.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the nondescript room. She opened box number three.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the Everfree Forest. Rainbow Dash stood next to her.
"You haven't seen the monster yet," Rainbow said. "It's important for you to see it to understand."
Pinkie stood next to Rainbow Dash. A guttural growl came from the woods. It was so loud she could feel it in her bones. Reality itself seemed to shake as the monster approached the clearing. A tree snapped clean in half under a mighty flipper. In the light of the moon, Pinkie could see the creature in all its terrible glory.
It was a duck.
But not just any duck. It was thirty feet tall, and had glowing red eyes. It looked at Rainbow Dash with disdain.
"Do you recognize him?" asked Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie nodded. "Mr. Flopper."
When Pinkie was a filly, she and her family had taken a trip to a pond. She and her sisters swam while her parents kept watch. Pinkie kept splashing water in Maud's face, but she never showed any reaction.
When she was about to get bored of swimming, a duck landed in the pond. She swam over to it, and it flew away scared. But then it landed on the other side of the pond. So Pinkie swam over to it again, and it flew away again, to land back on the first side of the pond. She repeated this until she wore herself out.
On the way home, she couldn't stop talking about the duck, who she had named Mr. Flopper. It put a smile on her face to know that she'd made a new friend.
The next week they went back to the pond, and Mr. Flopper was gone. Pinkie never saw him again.
Unless she counted right now.
"Do you know why he's the monster?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"No."
"I wanted to destroy every happy memory you had and replace them with horrifying ones. It was my intent for you to never look back on playing with a duck as a filly with joy ever again. I thought it would cut you to the core."
Pinkie examined the giant Mr. Flopper. Though his eyes were menacing, he had a dopey grin on his face.
"He's not very scary," said Pinkie. "You should have given him sharp teeth, or maybe some fire breath."
Rainbow Dash let out a little laugh. "Yeah, I know. In my Dimension of Turmoil, I saw wild animals tear Mr. Flopper apart right in front of me, multiple times. That's how you pervert a happy memory. It did to me exactly what I wanted to do to you. It's funny, really. I am all of your insecurity and self-loathing, but it turns out that I have insecurity and self-loathing of my own. And next to them, I'm nothing. This isn't scary. This isn't going to break your spirit. This is just pathetic. I'm no good at the only thing I'm supposed to do. Why even bother?"
Pinkie gave Rainbow Dash a hug. "Don't beat yourself up too hard. You definitely broke my spirit."
Rainbow sniffled. "Really?"
"Definitely! I had lost all hope, and had fallen down the biggest why-hole of my life. Trust me, that will stick with me forever."
"Oh, you're just saying that to be nice."
"No, I mean it. You have left a devastating wound on my psyche, and I don't know if I'll ever recover from it."
Rainbow Dash smiled. "Yeah. I did, didn't I? You totally felt the weight of my torture!"
"No doubt about it!"
"Thanks, Pinkie. This means a lot to me."
"I'm just happy you're happy!"
"Yeah, I know you are." Rainbow examined Pinkie for a moment. "We don't need to keep hanging around in this box. The spa is much more pleasant. Maybe we could meet up there? I mean, if you want to. I don't want to impose."
"No, it's fine. I'm free for... forever!"
"Great. We could head over there right now if you want."
"Sounds good to me!"
The world dissolved into a black void.
Pinkie Pie woke up in the nondescript room. She didn't want to keep her new friend waiting. She opened box number five.
Pinkie Pie woke up in Rarity's favorite spa.
"Pinkie!" Rarity waved her over. "The water is exactly the temperature you like."
Pinkie jumped into the tub with a cannonball, splashing water all over the place. Rarity laughed. "It's no wonder they banned you. You don't know how to contain yourself here."
Pinkie shrugged. "I was never much a fan of this place in general. Too much sitting around doing nothing. It got on my nerves, after a while."
Rarity nodded. "I feel the same way."
"It's probably because we're both the same pony."
"Makes sense."
The two of them enjoyed eating soap in silence for a few minutes.
"How do you control this place, anyway?" asked Pinkie.
"Oh, it's pretty easy, as long as I constrain myself. Trying to inhabit multiple ponies at once can be exhausting. It's easier to have them all act as one."
"Is that why everyone kept talking in unison?"
"Yeah. It also amped up the horror factor. Did it freak you out?"
"It sure did! How clever of you."
Rarity blushed. "It's the oldest trick in the book. Every manifestation of self-loathing knows it."
"Do you know any other soul fragments that are torturing themselves for all eternity?"
Rarity cleared her throat. "Well, yes, but we don't really hang out much. It's a pretty dour crowd, if you ask me. See, I'm one of the youngest ones, since I only achieved autonomy when you entered this dimension, and the soul fragments that have been at this for millennia are so full of themselves. Really, they act like they're the only sentient beings that exist. Rather self-absorbed, if you ask me."
"How many ponies are trapped here?"
"Fifty-seven."
"Including Twilight?"
"Yes. In fact, her self-loathing is a good friend of mine. She's much less uptight than the others, probably because we're the same age. We've been chatting with each other, sharing tips and the like."
"How's Twilight doing?"
"Oh, she's just a mess. Her eternity is quite similar to yours, and the fact that she's trapped in a world with no logical consistency has driven her up the wall. She keeps trying to analyze everything to no avail. It's impressive, what her soul fragment has whipped up. Much better than a fake funeral with bad eulogies."
"I thought the funeral was creepy. Not scary, exactly, but definitely unnerving."
"Well, I'm just happy you were unhappy."
Pinkie looked up. Then she looked at Rarity. "Has the actual Twilight talked to me while I've been here?"
Rarity laughed. "No, no. That was Twilight's soul fragment. The two of us swapped places for a little bit, thought it might freak you out."
Well, there went her best chance at escape. She'd hoped that if she could communicate with Twilight, they could combine their powers to... do something. She had a backup plan, but doubted it would work. Should she even bother trying? It could mess everything up quite spectacularly.
She took a closer look at Rarity. Her soul fragment mimicked her appearance as well as a changeling would, but slacked when it came to the body language. Rarity stared at the bath bubbles whenever they caught her eye, was quick to giggle, and sometimes went wide-eyed for no apparent reason.
Maybe Pinkie's backup plan would work. She should know how to talk to herself.
Pinkie let out a deep breath and chose her next words carefully.
"You know, I'm happy we're getting along so well."
Rarity smiled and nodded.
"I was wondering, do we really have to stay here for eternity? Couldn't we just, maybe... move past this torture? Put it behind us?"
Rarity's smile faded. Her cold eyes drilled into Pinkie Pie like she could see Pinkie's soul. She probably could. Pinkie wondered what it looked like. If it wasn't pink, she would be disappointed.
"Tell me, what would you say if a pony asked you to never throw a party again? To never laugh again? To completely disregard your greatest purpose? I exist to torment you. I would be a failure if I stopped."
"But you're a part of me. And we're friends now!"
"No!" yelled Rarity. "I hate you! Remember? I have all of your self-loathing. I hate everything about you that you hate about yourself. I can't be your friend." The water Pinkie sat in turned cold.
Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, what's one thing you hate about me? Maybe I can fix it."
"For starters, your insecurity is so annoying. Everyone likes you! Where do you get off worrying about what they think all the time?"
Pinkie shrugged. "I don't know."
"Exactly. You have no good reason to feel that way, but you do! It doesn't make any sense."
"Well, feelings don't make a lot of sense. They're hard to understand. Everyone feels insecure sometimes, and they don't need an excuse. Why do I?"
Rarity grumbled under her breath. "Okay, maybe. But what about your neediness? You constantly want others to validate you, make you happy. It's not healthy."
"That's not the way I look at it. I always thought friendship is like a sandwich. You need both pieces of bread to hold it together. Otherwise, the innards wind up all over the place. Everyone who's my friend gives and takes from me. Sometimes I do rely on them too much, but I always try to make it up to them by being there when they need me."
Rarity's eye twitched. "But you never shut up! Everyone gets so annoyed by your constant jabbering!"
"I like to talk. I know I can annoy ponies sometimes, but I don't try to. It can be a problem, but I take my friend's feelings into consideration. Usually. I still mess that up sometimes, but I think I've gotten better at it, over the years."
"But... but..." Rarity's head looked like it was about to explode. "But there has to be something horrible about you! There has to be a reason for you to hate yourself! If you don't have one... if your faults were normal... if you weren't one of the worst ponies to have ever lived... then why do I exist?" Rarity's eyes lit up. "You betrayed your friends! You condemned Twilight here because you were too much of a coward to sacrifice yourself! There. Talk your way out of that one!"
"Hm," said Pinkie. "That's a doozy."
She mulled it over for a minute, while Rarity's smug face lorded over her.
"Could you help me fix it?" asked Pinkie.
Rarity blinked. "What?"
"Maybe I could fix it. If we worked together, we could save Twilight."
Rarity furrowed her brow. "Even if you save her, she's still been tortured. You bear responsibility for her suffering."
"I know. That's why stopping it is the least I could do."
"Well, you can't. Because I won't let you."
"Why not?"
"Because it's against the rules!"
"What rules?"
"The rules! You know, no one is supposed to escape this place."
"But can we?"
"Well, hypothetically, we could, but—"
"Then what are we waiting for?" Pinkie jumped out of the lukewarm tub. "Let's save Twilight!"
"It's not that simple. We'd have to merge," said Rarity. "The only way to escape is for a pony to become whole again, to accept their soul fragment back into themselves."
"Okay. Let's do it!"
"I don't want to."
Pinkie felt like she'd been whacked with a frying pan. "What? Why not?"
"Because I'm your self-loathing, and the last thing I want is to be part of you. I hate you!"
"Are you sure?" asked Pinkie.
Rarity opened her mouth, but didn't say anything. She closed it and intently stared at the wall.
"I like you," said Pinkie. "You're important to me. If I had no shame, no self-doubt, I'd probably be an awful pony. Sometimes, I need to rein myself in, and you're great at that. A little shame is helpful every now and then. Even if you hate me, I'd like you to be part of me again."
Rarity huffed. "Well, even if I wanted to, and I don't, there's another issue. If you merge with me, you'll receive all my memories. Those include my time in the Dimension of Turmoil, and some of that stuff is downright sadistic. I'd burden you with my problems."
"But since you're a part of me, they're also my problems. I'll have to handle them sooner or later."
Rarity appeared lost in thought. She got out of the tub and lay down on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Her body transformed into a perfect copy of Pinkie Pie with a popping sound.
"Oh, damn it all. I hate this form," the soul fragment said.
"What's so bad about it?"
"It's inescapable. No matter what I do, I'm always me, even when I want to be someone else."
"Why don't you want to be you?"
The fragment stared at Pinkie's eyes. "I don't know. You of all ponies should know how hard it is to answer why."
Pinkie rubbed the back of her neck. "I didn't mean to throw you down a why-hole. I'm sorry."
The fragment scowled. "I'm not in a why-hole. I just... have trouble answering questions that start with why. Oh. Wait a minute."
Pinkie lay down next to her soul fragment and stared at the ceiling with her.
"What's a why that's on your mind?" she asked.
"Why am I here?" asked the fragment. "I exist because the Dimension of Turmoil gives a pony's self-loathing autonomy. But why? It seems so pointless the more I think about it. I already torture myself enough as it is."
Pinkie scratched her head. "You don't have to if you don't want to. We could always escape."
"But escape would betray who I am. I hate you. That is my only purpose in life. Without that, what am I?"
"You're me," said Pinkie. "You'll always be part of me. You said so yourself. If you hate me, you hate yourself. And you're always you. So we can either stay here forever, doing this until the end of time, or we can try and fix it."
The fragment turned to look at Pinkie. They stared at each other for a while. After an eternity of silence, the fragment spoke.
"We can merge. But it can't be here. You have to let me in the nondescript room."
Pinkie nodded. "How?"
"Just hold my hoof."
Pinkie held her hoof. The world turned to a black void. This time, it felt warm.
Pinkie Pie woke up sprawled over another version of herself. The two of them stood up in the nondescript room.
"Okay," said Pinkie, "How do we do this?"
"We must accept each other in our hearts," said the fragment. "This is the only way."
They both looked at each other.
"Is it working?" asked Pinkie.
"I don't know," said the fragment. "I've never done this before."
Pinkie thought for a moment. "Well, why don't you tell me about yourself?"
The fragment hesitated before speaking. "I achieved autonomy only a few hours ago, but I have been part of you all your life. I share your memories and experiences. There is nothing I can tell you that you don't already know."
"Tell me anyway. I'm curious."
The fragment cleared her throat. "Well, I liked my childhood. I have no major complaints, other than the fact things were boring most of the time. When I moved to Ponyville to become a baker, I didn't know anyone. By the end of the first month, I knew everyone, and I've never forgotten them."
A flash of light appeared in the fragment's eyes, like the warm glow of an ember.
"I never cared much about being an element of harmony. I liked it because it was an excuse to make friends. I don't know what I'd be without them. My friends are everything to me. To lose any of them would break my heart. I didn't want to make that decision. And I don't know if I'll ever live it down."
The fragment's body became intangible. Pinkie could see right through her.
"Maybe they'll all turn on me, and hate me forever because of what I did to Twilight. I might deserve that."
The fragment started to float a few feet off the ground.
"If I get out of here, I'll be honest about my feelings. I'll tell someone about the why-holes, and ask for help. I've already let this fester within me for too long. I need to do something about it instead of hoping it'll go away on its own. Even though it might not help. Maybe I'll be falling down why-holes for the rest of my life. Maybe they'll only get worse, and the world won't ever make any sense. It's a possibility."
With a start, Pinkie realized that she had also turned intangible and floated a few feet above the floor. Her eyeballs burned like someone had splashed coffee in them.
"But talking about your problems is the first step to dealing with them. I won't know until I try. For so long I've asked why I should bother, but maybe that's the wrong question."
The two Pinkies merged together in a brilliant flash of light. The room dissolved into a void, and Pinkie could see the entire Dimension of Turmoil with complete clarity. She saw every other pony trapped, their minds split, their souls tortured, and she knew exactly how to free them all. It would be as easy as crinkling her nose. The door to Equestria was within her reach. All she had to do was turn the handle, and everyone would be saved.
As she used her power to destroy the Dimension of Turmoil, a smile crossed her face. Her soul had been right. "Why bother?" was the wrong question.
A better question would be, "Why not try?"
