Sunset on a Bluff

...

"Sunset, this is the little girls section. I feel distinctly uncomfortable."

"Don't worry, as long as I'm here no one will think you are a pedophile. Now what do you think would look the cutest on Twilight's dog?"

"Her...dog?"

"Yeah, that little lesbian is trying to seduce Rarity. She asked me for help, and I couldn't say no to such a cute little puppy."

"You do realize that Spike...is a male dog?"

"You sure? Her voice is really high and girly."

"Yeah, I got an eyeful one time."

"Ew. Well, if we're not getting...him, gosh that's so weird, ah, cute underwear, is there anything you want here?"

"What?"

She starts walking towards the adult underwear area of the mall. I follow closely behind. She seems oblivious to how weird she is being.

"Like, want me to get you a sexy pair of panties and a bra, so you can ironically cross dress or maybe just jack off into them?"

Sunset is always like this. Trying to be a bro. Can't she tell I'd rather have a sis? I can never paint my nails right.

"N-no, I'm good."

"Already got some then? Niiiiice. You gotta let me see them sometime, I wanna know what gets your jimmies rustled."

Some people should not be allowed around memes.

"Anyways, let's just get out of here. You hungry? I'm hungry."

Hamburger for me, hotdog for her. She gives me a wink.

"Guess who I am!"

She fellates the hotdog, bun and all.

"I just can't stop sucking all of these cocks!"

Boner, now is not the time. I know what she's getting at. It was a dark day when she saw me browsing 4chan on my phone. Still, I feel obligated to get it wrong.

"Rarity?"

"Nope! Try again!"

She rubs the hotdog against her cheek.

"Cocks are all I think about!"

I glance around, but only the Japanese guy at the sushi counter seems to have noticed.

"Pernka Po?"

She giggles.

"I love how you get her name wrong, every time! So funny! No, I'm OP!"

I feel a dread building in my soul. Sunset continues mercilessly.

"Because OP is a faggot!"

Yup, there it is. Nothing is sacred. I didn't think anything could be sacred on 4chan, but then Sunset has a special way about her. It'd make me angry, but my boner overrules me every time.

"What an impression."

"Yup!"

She takes a bite and almost immediately moans. Damn. I try to distract myself with my hamburger. It's okay, for being mall food. My eyes are glued to her face.

I am Sunset Shimmer. I had thought that all my sadistic tendencies, my love of power and control would be wiped away in the friendship beam. I have learned that is not the case. I love the way Anon squirms when I give him a boner. The emotional pain when I ham-fistedly force memes into everyday conversation. Sometimes I call him right before I get in a shower.

"Anon, I'm totally going to pee in the shower."

"Anon, what sound does the beta rooster make? Cuck."

If I’m really lucky, I can hear his frustrated scream right before he hangs up. It wasn't a sex thing before, back when I was queen of the school. Now though, I just imagine Anon squirming, or suffering through another bad joke and... Shower time is always fun.

Now what was I doing? Oh yeah. I hold out the hotdog towards Anon.

"Want a bite? It's reeeaaaallly good."

I am Anon, cursing the stain anime has left on my soul. She made an offer I can't refuse. I lean forward and take a bite, my tongue caressing the teethmarks she left behind. Am I being weird about this? I am being weird about this. Still, gotta act casual. I chew, nodding slightly. Sunset grins.

"Looks like someone else likes to fill their mouths with wieners."

I swallow.

"Says the girl who ordered the hotdog."

She shrugs.

"I'm a girl, I'm allowed to like cocks."

“Whatever."

I go back to eating, Sunset following suit. About halfway through, I realize something. I rotate the hamburger, switching to the uneaten side. I lower my head and start licking the mustard from between the meat and the bun. She falters mid-bite.

"What are you doing?"

“Eating out."

Two can play at the pun game. She glances around nervously.

"Come on, stop that! It's weird."

“You're blushing. Jealous of the hamburger?"

This is surprisingly fun. Sunset has the best conflicted expression on her face.

"Seriously, stop, the Japanese guy is watching."

Ilook up and meet his eyes. I nod at him. He nods back.

"Nah, we're cool. Now if you excuse me, my tongue is scheduled for some deep-sea diving."

I pleasure that hamburger with long, deep tongue strokes. Finally, she just snatches it out of my hands.

"You can have my hotdog; I am confiscating your lunch."

She takes a bite out of my burger.

"You do realize my tongue has been all up inside there, right?"

Her blush deepens. I grin, enjoying being on this side of things for once.

"Deep inside, covering the meat with my saliva."

"Shut up."

I take a bite out of her hotdog.

"Do you have a ladyboner thinking about my tongue now?"

Haha, there are no brakes on the teasing train! She won't meet my eyes. Sunset shifts a little in her seat. Wait.

"You really do have a ladyboner?"

Her face turns beet red.

"Sh-shut up!"

I lean back in my chair, mind blown. It all makes sense now.

"You're actually shy? That's it, isn't it? You wanted to model lingerie, but you lost the nerve and made up some lie about thinking Spike was a girl!"

She puts the hamburger down and glares at me.

"That's not it at all! I was just..."

She pauses. I continue in my epiphany.

"It's alright, Sunset, really. I like you. If you want to be my girlfriend, I'm totally on board."

She buries her face in her hands. She's pretty cute when she's embarrassed.

I am Sunset Shimmer, and everything has gone wrong. I am the one who is supposed to be making all the innuendo! He's not supposed to be erotically removing condiments from sandwiches! Oh Celestia, he went down on a hamburger. And now I have some of that hamburger in my stomach.

I would be more grossed out about it if I wasn't so turned on. There has to be a way to salvage this. What's the bro thing to do?

"N-no homo."

He laughs.

"Unless you are secretly a man, you just implied yes hetero."

Abort! Abort!

"I just remembered, I have to go do something, it's been nice eating you!"

Wait.

"Eating with you! No, ugh, goodbye!"

I grab my purse and powerwalk away.

My name is Anon, and today was a good day. Perhaps I'll call her tomorrow morning, right before I take a shower.

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and everything is under control. After sleeping on it, I realize that nothing has really changed. Anon is Anon, and a boy, so I have the advantage. I stand naked in my bathroom, phone in my hand. Is my heart supposed to be beating so fast? Was this how it always was, and I just didn't notice? I push the thought from my mind. With a decisive twitch, I hit Anon's number.

"Hello?"

I smile involuntarily at the sound of his voice. I can do this.

"Hi Anon! I just wanted you to know how much I value our friendship."

Yes, this is how it goes. Subtlety is for the weak. Anon is oddly unphased, though.

"That's nice of you. I value our relationship too."

Good, friend zone established.

“So, Anon. My parents aren't home, "

Which isn't a lie, they just happen to be ponies in another dimension. I can hear his breath quicken at the news. I get a little shiver of pleasure at the thought.

"And I need a big, strong man to… mow the lawn."

Perfect, the old bait-and-switch.

"You know, I'm onto you now."

My blood runs cold, yet somehow, I find my arousal growing.

"You just want my sweaty, hot bod all to yourself. I'll be right over."

“No! I mean, "

What was the point of this call anyhow? He laughs and hangs up. Crap.

"I just wanted your tortured psyche."

I set the phone by the sink, no longer feeling up for a quick shower. Everything is just muddled inside. Still, I should do something since I am already naked. I turn on the bath faucet, waiting for the hot water to get going. I eye the column of water thundering into my tub. That just might be what I need to clear my head. I lower myself into the shallow water. It takes a little sliding, but I rest my legs up on the wall on either side of the faucet.

Water cascades inside me, filling me up with firm but gentle pressure. I lay back, losing myself in the sensation. Unbidden, images of Anon come to my mind. Skin glistening with sweat, muscles rippling. H-hard-

I shove the images away. The insistent pounding of the water makes it hard to concentrate. The thought comes, ' He'd be gentle. ' I can just imagine him kissing my cheek, my nose. My hands on his chest. He pecks my lips, but my tongue surges into his mouth. He pulls back in surprise and I hold my breath. He grins. The next kiss has me tingling all over, toes curling in-

Wait. Am I really fantasizing about Anon? I come to myself with my hands positioned rather intimately, my hips bucking against the waterfall. I am so close.

Fuck it.

Anon buries himself deep within me, whispering my name in worship. I hook my ankles behind his back, my every curve pressed up against his firm masculinity. My heart pounds, his fevered breath ghosting across my ear.

"Sunset."

It's a distant sound, muffled by my building climax and the limits of my imagination.

"Sunset!"

My body is wracked with waves of pleasure, a tributary flow to the torrent in my womanhood.

"Sunset!"

Wait, that's not my imagination. I hear the front door open.

"Sunset, are you alright?"

"Uh, yes, I'm fine!" I yell at the bathroom door.

Crap, crap, crap! I turn off the faucet and stagger out of the tub.

"Oh, okay. Sorry for breaking in."

“It's-it's fine."

I grab a towel and gain a semblance of modesty. I step out of the bathroom, and-

"Oh."

I turn slowly to find Anon, standing at the end of the hall, eyes wide. I point a stern finger at him, my other hand tightly pressing the towel above my bust.

"Don't even think about kissing me!"

He holds up his hands defensively.

"Gonna be honest here. I'm not doing a lot of thinking right now, and it certainly isn't about kissing. Well, it wasn't."

My eyes focus on his pants. Yep, that's a boner. I wonder how bi-

"Stop it! Get out of my head!"

"Okay?"

I storm off to my bedroom to get some clothes and maybe some dignity.

Well, Anon, this is not how I expected my yard work/booty call to go. So, while Sunset presumably puts clothes on, I go sit on the couch. When she does come out, she's in jeans, maybe a shirt, but definitely a fluffy, white winter coat.

Odd.

First things first though, establishing why she asked me over.

"So, do you really need me to mow the lawn, or did you want me to mow your lawn, or what?"

She sits on the other end of the couch and puts her face in her hands.

"I don't know, okay?"

Hmmm, this is a little serious.

"Alright, how about what -were- you hoping for, back when you called me?"

Sunset takes a deep breath and lowers her hands.

"Honestly? I wanted you to have a case of the blueballs again."

Huh.

"And where does your bathing figure into this? And why is only the back of your head wet?"

She gingerly touches her hair, sensing the difference. She looks me square in the eyes, daring me to doubt her next answer.

"It's a girl thing."

Unfortunately for her, she's been my "bro" for a while, so I know a fair bit about girl things.

"Cramps, huh?"

"No! I mean, yeah, cramps. It started yesterday, that's why I had to go so suddenly."

"Isn't your period usually about two weeks from now?"

Her face colors.

"How do you know about that?"

I roll my eyes.

"It's when you demand 'brocolates' and have me make you cinnabro tea. Now what's really going on?"

She just sits there, fidgeting with the coat sleeves. I wait a bit, watching her face.

"Maybe wearing a winter coat in the middle of the summer isn't a great idea."

Sunset glares at me.

"I'm fine!"

I raise my eyebrows at that. I do have a theory, but it's a bit of a long shot.

"Is it that you thought you were a lesbian, but then you realized you are also attracted to me?"

She stares at me blankly.

I stare at him blankly. That is the most absurd, ridiculous, Halfway reasonable? Surprisingly useful explanation.

Sunset Shimmer smiles, a beautiful smile.

"That's it exactly."

Nailed it.

"I get it. You don't want to go too fast with your suddenly hetero feelings. How about we spend today like we normally do, with Super Smash Brothers catfights?"

She grins at that.

"Promise you'll be gentle?"

“Get real. I'm going to nail you so hard with Samus."

"You can try, but you'll be lucky if I let you get a shot off."

It's the sixth match, and I am killing Anon with the Wii Fit Trainer. It's not going to be like it was before, he isn't oblivious now. Still, he thinks I want to take it slow, and there is so much I can do with that. It's a useful lie, and I need to try it out, to see if I can still manipulate him. Samus claps from her lowly position in the final rankings.

"Hey, you will be gentle, right?"

He gives me a smile and nudges my shoulder with his.

"I'll be what you want me to be."

I unzip my winter coat, catching the way his eyes drift to my bosom.

"Good."

I still have him wrapped around my finger, just as his girlfriend rather than his bro. I can live with that.