Introduction
Mmmmmm, I'm going to be level with you reader, running a universe obsessed with order using chaos is a tough job! I mean really, you wouldn't believe how many annoying gods and goddesses are constantly talking my ears off about how my magic and medelling will, "Destroy the multiverse" Or cause, "A calamity not seen since the darthwigian times"-whatever that means. Just yesterday Themis, the "Lady of good council" Almost had a heart attack when she discovered I, "Carelessly annihilated three dimensions."
Those dimensions, by the way, were created eons ago by a now-defunct god! They were just taking up space in the hard-drive that is the multiverse! What you think there is an infinite amount of universes all stored inside a vector point for free?! What a foolish line of reasoning! And that dear reader is why I have decided to write a book! To knock some sense into creatures around the realities of the wonders of chaos! And to show people that, well despite my rather jovial appearance and friendship with the mane 6, none of this is easy.
Day after day ponies in other universes do the same thing, go through the same motions, cycles. Kind of like humans surprisingly! Yes indeed, despite Celestia and Luna's insistence that poines are better than those ape creatures known as humans, in some cases ponies turn out almost exactly like humans or even worse! All distrusting and violent, leaning in the direction of the dark side~ It is most entertaining to watch, especially when Spike and Big Mac cannot make our weekly Dnd sessions! What joyous days those are...
I only bring up humans because well given that I am releasing this book via the MP Company it's highly possible that this text ends up in the hands of a human! In fact, you, yes you reader! Are probably human! Curious as to my thoughts on the complexities of the cosmos! How is that space program going? Are the elections over yet? Have you voted? Do you have a driver's license? Haha! Really humans are the most entertaining creatures to talk to! So many opinions and emotional ties to the most mundane things and household objects!
Anyhow, I have gotten woefully off-topic, this is the introduction after all! So how about I tell you a little about myself? Hmmm let's see, It all started thousands of years before the founding of Equestria, I was so WRONGFULLY imprisoned by two pony princess's who claimed to control the sun and moon after pulling the best practical joke the universe has ever seen! I did it all reader, the tiled ground, the chocolate rain, cloudy with a chance of meatballs, the disregard of gravity! Oh, it was utopia I tell you! But alas, not everyone's fun can last forever it seems, so the sisters imprisoned me in Tartarus and I was forced to spend the next few months, days, hours, however long it was. Entertaining a now good friend of mine, Tirek! Well I say entertaining, it was more of a one-sided conversation, I would tell a joke and then run to his side of the cell and responded to it, or if I was really desperate, I would clone myself and pretend I hadn't heard my own joke!
But it was all worth it after I gained my freedom due to some foolish fillies playing around the statue sealing me in Tartarus, I burst forth and the party began a new! Chocolate rain, days that lasted seconds, and best of all--no princess's to get in the way! Ah, it makes me crack up every time, and goodness me have ponies softened up since my first appearance in Equestria! Why when I returned, I'm fairly certain most of them would've preferred my rule to Celestia and lunas!
Unfortunately, my party was cut short once more by a certain purple unicorn, an absolute teacher's pet of Celestia who admired the old hag to a fault! I must admit that the dear sun princess has done a good job at covering the dark stains of her past, but I would assume Twilight sparkle of ALL ponies would realize her benevolent ruler image is to perfect! And thus I feared the party was well and truly over. But then! There just on the horizon, the sun rose above the horizon, its bright light blinding me and burning away at the darkness, and I smiled realizing there was hope once more, Fluttershy!
Let me tell you about my dear sweet Fluttershy! She's a shy pegasus that adores animals and is full of that wonderful thing Twilight's show is based on. What was it called again? Oh yes! Friendship! Apparently it's supposed to be magical, but I've yet to find mention of it in Starswirls scrolls so I fail to see where that notion comes from. I especially enjoy our tea-time! Fluttershy knows just how I like my tea, and thanks to a close encounter with annihilation on the astral plane, also apparently enjoys her tea parties chaotic! You cannot comprehend how excited I was at this revelation reader! Words do not do it justice! And on top of her love for my chaos, she's also simply the most adorable pony in the land! Ooop, I better make sure our next tea-time is on my calendar! Wouldn't want to miss out on that.
Have I rambled enough yet? Yes yes, I believe so, about nine-hundred and fifteen words now. Everyone has quotas after all! Mine just so happens to be one-thousand words! With introductions out of the way, I believe we can move on to the well-seasoned insides of this turkey! Chaos! You see I've been rather bored lately, Equestria is at peace after nine cycles of seasons, the friendship school is still going strong, and Twilight and her friends are living their happy little lives in the new Equestria! Which is great don't get me wrong. But, ya know, for a being who thrives in chaos, it doesn't do me much good. There's nothing to prepare for, nothing to fight against, no purpose! And so I have decided to strike out on my own!
Over the next few chapters of this book, you will journey with me across the multi-verse in my quest to document every single phenomenon regarding ponies and the chaos magic attached to them! Yes, I know it may be hard to believe, but even the organized Twilight sparkle has seeds of chaos in her soul. I do hope you stick around for the ride (Not that I think you'll understand any of it) and maybe you can help me prove to Celestia that ponies and the apes aren't so different after all hmm?
Chapter 1: A Chaotic Sparkle and the Mutliverse Pancake Stack
A Chaotic Sparkle and the Multiverse Pancake Stack
In today's lesson, we study the mysterious case of one Twilight Sparkle! A former element of harmony and current ruler of Equestria! Assuming you haven't skipped out on the show since season six and have spent the last few years reading fiction about it. What a ridiculous notion! The show has ME in it! Discord! You would never leave me hanging like that right reader?
Anyway, we're not here to discuss the boring and obvious questions regarding our dear Twilight. You know, hinted schizophrenia, an absurd amount of power in regards to literally everything else in the world. I mean, who knew giving a unicorn wings multiplied their magic capacity tenfold, or even her smarty-pants doll! (That deserves its own chapter~ That devious little thing.)
No no no! That's all so quaint and boring! So played out! Even Khaos could do better than that! And I refuse to be outclassed by a pathetic excuse of a god with zero experience in the field of chaos! What I wish to discuss today is the wonders of multi-verse theory!
Now I'm sure you're familiar with it, especially if you're human, the idea that strings of reality branch off making sure each and every possible decision/outcome arrives at a conclusion! Well as it turns out, Equestria is close friends with those strings because every single outcome there does indeed arrive at a conclusion!
Now I can't speak for your world reader, but over here magic is alive! I'm sure you've heard of the tree of harmony. The fancy tree that was destroyed so many times it lost all meaning until nine of the summer season! I'm sure you've forgotten all about it, I know the ponies did. Those forgetful pony brains of theirs really need an upgrade! But the point isn't the tree, it's what the tree controlled, specifically the roots.
Imagine this reader, you have a stack of wonderful syrup covered pancakes sitting before you with a cherry on top and some butter. But you want more pancakes, now pfft. "normally" how boring... Normally you would get up and go to the kitchen, cook some more pancakes and stack them on top of the old ones. But you see reader you're thinking too, hmmm how to say this, mortally! For you see, the tree is not bound by such rules! Instead of getting more pancakes, it chooses to GROW more pancakes. Imagine roots burrowing deep into the ground under the plate bringing thousands upon thousands of astral calories into the trees strong trunk!
And here's where it gets interesting. Even subutt doesn't know this little tidbit~ Magic is alive I tell you! yes, alive! It has its own thoughts, emotions, feelings, goals in life! How? Well, that's for a later chapter, but the point is reader, The tree of harmony is the center of the mutliverse. The roots act as strings tieing each tree of harmony together across the mutliverse. Even when it is destroyed, as long as one piece of it remains the reality will not collapse! Isn't that facinating? And once more the rules are constantly changing! Why I stumbled across one reality where the tree of harmony was never planted! So then how does the reality exist? I don't know! And I love it! See the universe has a sort of course-correction system I've found. If something its rules require doesn't exist but the descrepecny exist by following another rule, it somehow works around itself!
now with all of that explanation out of the way, we can move on my dear reader to how this connects to our dear friend Twilight Sprakle. For you see, magic weaves itself between every decision made! Or in this case, in between ponies decisions. Every action is documented, or rather, the ambient magic-the magic that gives every creature life-in the world leaves a flag or checkpoint at every decisions. Picking up a right, throwing a rock, throwing a rock at a slightly different angle, going home, stopping at a certain point, continuing to move at a certain point etc. And "write" it down or remembers it. It then plays out every single possible outcome from that one decision! As you can probably imagine, this effect cascades quickly, in fact I once found one chain of five-hundred thousand worlds strung together by the action of someone sitting down slightly differently on a chair! But allow me to once again narrow the topic reader.
Twilight Sparkle, for all her goodwill, Is frankly the evilest pony I've ever seen! I mean really! You should see what she gets up to in her other worlds when friendship isn't around to guide her! Falling in love with King Sombra, killing her friends, falling for the dark arts, falling into Queen Chrysalsis's traps, and (more disgustingly) falling in love with ME! Ugh! Those universes make me gag! I can't handle such a vile thought and yet it is a reality! Well, not currently but you know what I mean. I could NEVER spend time with the princess of organization and books! Yet apparently there are some versions of me that disagree with that notion! I've been temtped many times to just delete all those realities but alas it is not in my jurastiction. Surprisingly there are a great many multiverses where Twilight has whisked away to of all places, the human world! And let me tell you reader, watching her antics in those universes is something else!
Our dear book worm, all grown up~ Murdering humans by the hundreds! Saving humanity from a zombie apocalypse, and even helping a version of me rid the Uni of the grimverses! (We'll have to talk about these wonderful bags of MV's in a later chapter ;)). I must admit, I have trouble watching some of the going's on in there. I never thought something worse than death existed, but those timelines... The universe can be a scary place sometimes ready, even for a God of Chaos.
Oh dear, this has taken a rather dark turn. This was not my intention at all! But we must press on like the good scholars we are! Our dear bookworm has MANY grimverses attached to her! It's like a plague, a disease, slowly eating away at her soul! I couldn't believe my eyes either, but between all of my dear pony friends Twilight rolled a one on Universal Presence! The only one who's almost equally as bad as her or even worse is Pi-
Twilight has killed me multiple times in her grim verses, either out of hatred or boredom! Yes, you heard me right, boredom! And what's scary is how efficient she is at it! This isn't just some keep hitting it until it dies affair reader, this is months of planning and preparation, so much planning that she actually tricked ME! The GOD OF CHAOS! Master manipulator! I simply must applaud her in these instances, and I find myself considering moving in with the more crazy chaotic Twilight Sparkles, in fact... Mmmmm, yes that could be a few chapters in and of itself! I must consider this further.
One day we'll go on a crazy Twilight safari reader, but not today. Anyhow, where was I? Oh yes! Twilight is a most fascinating character, well not in the MV, I live in unfortunately... But you can't have your cake and eat it too as they say. Maybe I should go about corrupting her now... No one would notice... Celestia certinally wouldn't... Hm, I'll write that down for later.
Now then, What else is fascinating about Twilight sparkle? Perhaps it's how many times Celestia turns out to be evil in her other worlds. It seems I got lucky only being turned into a stone statue and imprisioend in Tartarus! Celestia when she doesn't restrain herself is terrifying (And it takes a lot to scare me as I'm sure you're aware). Her manipulation is cranked to one-thousand in those worlds. Poor Twilight never sees the darkness coming to swallow her whole until it's too late!
The amount of times I've watched Twilight be thrown off a bridge, accidentally betrayed by her brother, or burned alive by Celestia is ridiculous! I mean come on Celly, give the poor girl a break! I'm surprised Twilight isn't fire-resistant at this point. Her mutliverse counter parts really do have the worst of luck, it's almost like some god out there loves watching or writing about the corruption of the innocent! Perhaps the ponies life are to PG for their taste. Or mayhaps some simply have an edge inside them that they can only show off through the catalyst of poines! Regardless of the reasoning, Twilight gets the short end of the stick all the time. Of course, I can't just shower Twilight in praise, sometimes she is just plain stupid.
In many universe's she is a complete idiot. Some of her greatest plans include. Trying to fight Nightmare Moon in their first encounter! I mean, I understand thinking you're powerful, but power and intelligence don't go hand in hand my dear Twilight! Siding with Queen Chrysalis during the Canterlot invasion and getting burnt to a cripst by a very disappoitned Celestia, accidentally drowing Spike as a child, and trying to cast Starswirls timespell from the Canterlot archives as a filly! There was also this one time she went down the path of necromancy but the council of Twilights doesn't like to talk about it. Maybe I could schedule an interview with them at some point...
Oh dear I've almost run out of notes. Let's see, I've discussed Twilights Grimverse, lampooned her stupidy in battles against Knightmare Moon, exposed Celestia's dirty manipulatory secrets, explained the Multiverse, talked your ear off about the Tree of Harmony, and probably made you hungry for pancakes! The only thing I haven't talked about is her strange attachment to Pi- ah yes, how could I forget? That's for a different safer time.
Author's Note
Oh goodness me I forgot to lay out the vocabulary I started using! Silly me! Here, have a nice compiled list of the vocabulary used in this chapter! Your test will be soon, so make sure you know your stuff! - Prof. Discord
= Vocabulary =
Uni: The Universe
MV: Multiverse
Universal Presence: How many grimverse's are tied to a creature in the multiverse
Tree of Harmony: The center of the Multi-verse
