A Conversation with Pinkie Pie

by SkyrinEmperor

Rating: everyone
Tags: Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Random
Length: 1102

I have a conversation with Pinkie Pie. Can anyone translate for me?

So I go over to Sugar Cube Corner, right? This pink mare serves me a banana milkshake and strikes up a conversation. I don't understand a single thing she is talking about.

Published 2020-10-23 09:10:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-23 09:10:00 UTC

A Conversation with Pinkie Pie

Sugarcube Corner would be a great place to go right now. I'm feeling in the mood for something cold right now. I make my way from the Town Hall to Sugarcube Corner. I had just gotten a house paid off for myself and I feel good using the money I worked for on the farm rather than sharing a house with Twilight. Did you know that she solves math in her sleep? It's so creepy. Anyway, I walked in the door and the pink mare speeds to me...... and somehow stopped in midair.

"What would you like to order?" She said, faster than most rappers back on earth. If I hadn't known Eminem, I would've asked her to repeat that for me.

"I would like a banana milkshake please." I say, taking a seat at the counter. She wrote the order, made the milkshake, and served it to me. These would be basic things that require no thinking on logic, but now when I add in the fact that she wrote it down, made it, and served it in the time I could draw a square on paper, my brain is now fried. "How did you-"

"Wonderful day we're having huh?" She interrupts. I stare for a second and nod.

"What's up with you today?" I ask, striking up a conversation.

"Its been so hectic before you got here. There were ponies left and right coming in. Some were going out and some came in and ordered something before walking out. After that someone came in to make party plans and walked back out before most other people even got the chance to walk out. The poor mare forgot to tell me something so she walked back in but then walked back out after her husband told her to come on. Now you walk in and suddenly no one is walking in or out. So, how are you liking the story so far?"

Wait, someone walked in then out and walked in... then out.... then in.... I give up. Wait, hold on.

"What do you mean by story?" I ask. She put a hoof around my shoulder.

"You know," She whispered in my ear. "The one where you have a conversation with me?" I was spooked by the sudden contact and cocked back, falling out of the chair and earning a few laughs from some of the customers.

"I just came in here for a milkshake, not to have a conversation." Pinkie starts glaring at.... something.

"Hey you! Sky! I thought the purpose of this story is to have a conversation with me! What's the big deal?" Disturbed, I hesitantly ask,

"Who are you talking to?"

"Sky! The author! I know he can hear me right now!" She pulls a le-

"What does that lever do?"

"Don't worry, I just muted him since he wouldn't talk to me."

"Muted who?"

"Sky."

"Who is Sky!?"

"Didn't I already tell you? He is the author! Alright, I'm going unmute you now, and when you do, you are going to talk to me. Alright?"

.....

The lever is pulled and somehow disappears. Pinkie looks to her notepad and then into the air.

"What do you mean by 'stop interrupting the story'? You never answered me!" I peek over at her notepad to see some writing on it, but none in her handwriting. Now I am actually super disturbed.

"Okay, what is going on here?!" I ask, now starting to panic. Pinkie just smiles at me.

"There isn't any need to panic, but Sky will have a reason to panic in a second."

...Pinkie turns to me and holds my face.

"Hey, say your name." How many times am I going to say 'what do you mean?'

"Huh? My name is...... is...." Wait, what the hell? What is my name?

"Don't remember it, eh? That's beacuse Sk-" A zipper appeared on Pinkies mouth, shutting her up. Where did that come from?

"Are you okay?" She fiddled the zipper in her hooves and somehow started unzipping it. The zipper then somehow disappears, leaving her in her current form.

"MMMmmm! MMmmph!" She tries to say to me. She looks at the notepad, which says 'Try to tell him one more time, I dare you.'. The zipper disappears from her mouth, allowing her to speak once more.

"Pinkie," She turns and gets a bit too close, "Be honest with me, is a spirit haunting you?" She starts rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter.

"Ghosts don't exist, silly! Only you, me, and Sky are real people." Ignoring that, don't know what that means. She sounds like she is in a battle with a ghost or something. Wait...

"Did you say people? I thought you said ponies?" I questioned. She shrugs a hoof at me.

"Don't worry about the details, it just depends on the type of situation." Pinkie said, now noticing that she was in a clown outfit. "Hey! Take this off! You didn't even say that I put on the clown outfit!" The clown outfit disappears and then Pinkie starts dressing in a clown outfit.

"If you just got rid of the outfit, then why would you put it back on?" I thought Earth-ponies didn't have magic. Seeing this mare is making me question myself more than I ever should have when coming over to this place. Maybe I should've took Applejack's offer at the farm when she asked me to eat with their family. It wouldn't be so bad to eat there, but I'm starting to get sick and tired of going there everyday just to eat a ton of apples. Although it is interesting to watch Pinkie Pie play with what I thought was a spirit, but I guess isn't. I wonder who this Sky person is. He can't be evil because he isn't really doing anything to hurt Pinkie. What am I saying. He doesn't even exist.

"I get it already I get it!" Pinkie gives a dejected sigh, her nose honking as she puts it on the counter.

"Well, I'm just going to go see what Applejack is up to." And also, you know, meet Twilight on the way to see if we have a problem on our hands. She somehow jumps at me for a hug, but then pauses mid-air.

"I probably shouldn't hug you unless you want clown makeup on you. Bye Anon!" She says. Is my name Anon? I just walk out of the door and look back to see her arguing at nothing. Maybe I'll go take up Applejack on her offer.