Until Death Has Done Us A Part

by Equimorto

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Death, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 3157

Twilight wonders who should replace a missing actor in the Nightmare Night Playrade. Pinkie comes to the logical conclusion.

For the first Nightmare Night since her crowning ceremony, Twilight chose to organise a celebration of sorts in Canterlot. Some nobles suggested a play. Some, a parade. An end to the discussions came when Pinkie suggested both.

It came to happen, unfortunately, that just hours before the playrade one of the actors twisted his ankle. The one tasked with playing the role of Death. Once again, Pinkie came to the rescue with her own solution.

Twilight really wished she hadn't.

Published 2020-10-31 23:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-10-31 23:00:00 UTC

Livening The Party

Clad in a simple, elegant, historically accurate rendition of a royal ceremonial dress from the Crystal Empire, Twilight had been nervously pacing up and down the great hall, trying to figure out a solution to the problem at hoof, when a polite knock on the door had shaken her out of her concentration.

Quickly she went to open the door. "I'm glad you two could make it," she greeted Celestia and Luna as they stepped inside the room.

"And we are glad to be here," her former teacher replied.

Twilight couldn't help but eye the golden regalia she was wearing. "What's with the crown? Feeling nostalgic?"

Celestia looked herself over once, then chuckled. "Oh, this? It's just my costume."

Twilight almost had to use her hoof to suppress a laugh. "You're going as yourself?"

"Oh, no. I'm going as Princess Celestia. I'm just Celestia now," the alicorn replied. "Don't tell me going as your past self doesn't count. Luna does it every year."

To Celestia's left, Luna rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. She wore nothing, but would take on Nightmare Moon's appearance once the celebrations officially began. "It's good to see you again, Twilight."

"Twilight!" a yell came from the room nearby, prompting a motion much like Luna's previous one from the alicorn in question and catching the two older ones' attention.

"I'm coming, Pinkie," Twilight yelled back. She began to walk towards a door, while the others followed her. "She said she had a surprise and asked to be left alone for a bit. The others are in the next room over there if you'd rather go say hi to them." Finally, she reached the door and pulled it open. "What is it, Pink-" The words died in her throat as she had a look inside.

Pinkie was there, smile as bright as always, dressed up as a mint green pufferfish. On the floor in front of her, the priceless crimson rug had been moved aside, and a black circle dotted with inscriptions had been drawn over the smooth marble. Twilight was at least four fifths of the way sure the circle hadn't been there the day before. To Pinkie's right, a perfectly normal pony skeleton, about Twilight's size, wearing a black hooded cloak, carrying a somewhat oversized scythe, and sipping on a cup of tea the contents of which somehow didn't spill onto the floor through its mouth of bones and nothing else.

Well, an almost perfectly normal skeleton. The eyes were a deep black darker than anything Twilight had seen, and she'd stared into her fair share of abysses. She'd never seen one stare back.

"You know how before you said you weren't sure who would get to play Death tonight on the Nightmare Night Playrade at the opening ceremonies after the actor twisted his ankle and you sounded really worried about it and nervous but you were clearly hiding it so we wouldn't worry and I thought maybe I knew a way to help with that so" - Pinkie held out a hoof - "here you go Twilight, problem solved!"

The skeleton calmly set down its teacup on a nearby table. "Greetings."

For a dry, genderless disembodied voice that felt like it was a whisper coming up from a distant pit, carried by the wind right to her ears, Twilight found it oddly sounded rather cordial. She raised a hoof, still stammering and struggling to get words out of her mouth.

Celestia chose that particular moment to push her neck into the room, her face right above Twilight who still occupied the doorway. She gave a surprised but not alarmed little gasp. "Oh. I didn't expect to see you here."

"Celly." The skeleton waved to her, and smiled. At least, it looked like it smiled. Twilight wasn't sure how, considering it was nothing but bone. "It's been a while."

"It really has." Celestia noticed, beneath her neck, Twilight's mouth hanging open as the alicorn underwent a typical case of failing to process the situation. She gently closed it for her. "Twilight, this is Death. Death, I'm sure you know Twilight. So, what brings you here?"

Death just turned to Pinkie and gave a nod.

"It owes me a few favours," the mare casually explained. "Oh, thanks for my brother's soul, by the way," she added, turning back towards Death. "I didn't get to thank you properly last time."

"You have a brother?" Twilight's tone was noticeably more sputtery than usual, but at least Celestia found she'd found something to jab herself out of her mental stall.

"How does it feel, Twilight?" asked Pinkie, smirking aggressively. The pufferfish costume admittedly undercut what she was trying to achieve with her attitude.

Somehow sliding her neck between Celestia's and Twilight's back, Luna asked, "What is going on in here?" Then her eyes set on the skeleton, and she smiled. "Ah. Death. It's been a while."

"That it has," Death replied. "Well, I should go introduce myself to the other guests." And with that, it disappeared into a small cloud of thick and heavy blackness.

Rarity's scream from the room on the other end of the hall left little doubt as to where it had moved to, and Twilight found herself rushing from one door to the other, hooves skidding over the polished marble and thankfully finding more secure footing on the carpets. Celestia and Luna walked behind her, and Pinkie bounced at the end of the line from where she greeted the alicorns.

The door all but flew open as Twilight finally reached it, and she stumbled inside trying to bring her charge to a halt. The scene was much about what she would have expected, four ponies staring at a skeleton with a cape and a scythe. "Girls," she began to explain between pants, "this is-"

"Death," Death said, interrupting her. "In the..." it twirled around a hoof in the air, somehow humming. "In the spirit, I suppose. Not much flesh, as you can see."

All not empty eye sockets turned to Twilight in search of explanations. In turn, she turned to Pinkie, who had evidently managed to bounce her way there faster than Celestia and Luna had walked.

"No need for introductions, I know all of you," Death said. "But it is always fun to meet someone outside of work. Most aren't exactly at their happiest when I come to them for work reasons." It looked around the room for a moment. "Oh, pretzels," it said, spotting a bowl on a table and soundlessly walking to it.

Celestia and Luna finally arrived, unnervingly calm, leading Twilight's friends to be suddenly torn between greeting them or shouting for explanations. Except for Pinkie, who also bounced her way to the pretzels.

Things having finally calmed down, if only slightly, Twilight turned to the other two alicorns. "What."

Celestia frowned for a moment. She brought a hoof to her lips. "Uh. Pinkie summoned Death. It appears to be bound here until it has fulfilled its contract. I think that's pretty much it." Luna, meanwhile, also headed towards the pretzels, after waving hello to the other ponies.

Forcing herself to ignore the alicorn's defection, Twilight focused on the one who was still there. "Death. As in..."

"Death." Celestia nodded, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To be fair, Death was.

"And you know it."

"I do."

"Okay." Twilight gave one slow nod. "Excuse me for a moment." She teleported away.

A faint scream echoed from somewhere far, far above the castle. Meanwhile, the ponies finally greeted Celestia.

Twilight reappeared. "Okay, everyone! Death is here. Go talk with it or something." She almost yelled the words, her enthusiasm clearly forced. "I'll go tell the playrade cast we found an actor replacement." With that, she disappeared again.

Another scream was heard, a little more faint and harder to make out.

The four mares awkwardly traded glances with each other, then all looked at the skeleton somehow eating pretzels, flanked by Pinkie and Luna. Celestia joined the group at the table a moment later, casually chatting with the skeleton.

Rainbow Dash was the first one to approach them, swallowing as she did. Celestia moved on to the punch bowl, along with Luna, and so the pegasus stepped to Death's side. She was dressed as some sort of elemental spirit of electricity, a mostly white-blue outfit with electric blue highlights and gel holding her mane and tail up in jagged spikes. "So, you're like, Death, right?"

"That would be me, yes," Death replied. The sound of its voice took away any doubts Rainbow might still have had.

"Cool." Rainbow seemed a bit jittery on her hooves. "I should know you. You know, I go on adventures, do dangerous stunts, fight evil monsters!" She steadily gained confidence as she spoke. "You could say I play with death a lot."

Death chuckled, and Rainbow couldn't tell if she found it chilling all the way to her soul in spite of or because of how normal it sounded. "Oh, Rainbow. I've heard a lot of creatures claiming they play with me. Let me tell you something." It turned towards her. "You don't play with Death. The most one can do is gamble. And when you're gambling, the house always wins in the end."

There was a second of absolute silence.

"The end is not today though. Cheer up!" Death gave Rainbow a jovial pat on the shoulder. It did make her jerk and jump as a reaction.

Once she actually ceased being startled, and confirmed that she still had a heartbeat after contact with Death itself, Rainbow returned to an appropriate breathing rhythm. "So... Do you know when and how I will die? ...Could you tell me?"

"I do, actually." Death looked right in Rainbow's eyes, and spoke just a bit louder, so the rest of the room would hear as well. "Do you really want to know?"

Rainbow stared into the thick black nothingness that were Death's eyes. "M-Maybe another time."

Death swallowed a pretzel. "Funny. All of time since life has existed up to this point, yet I can still count on my wings the number of those who actually wanted to hear it." It looked behind Rainbow Dash, at Pinkie Pie, who'd also moved on to the punch bowl. "You don't know how rare it is that you're friends with one." Before Rainbow could say anything else, it stepped away from the table.

Fluttershy was the first pony it came across. She wore a green-grey lizard-like suit with blueish and vaguely triangular spines on its back. "Hello, Fluttershy," Death said.

"Hello," the pegasus replied. She looked at the scythe, evidently nervous. "Do you have to carry that thing around?"

Death also looked at the scythe. "No. But I like carrying it around."

Fluttershy was silent for a moment. "But what if someone gets hurt?"

"It's not particularly sharp." Death brought its scythe lower, so Fluttershy could have a look at the blade. "Besides, I don't hurt creatures outside of work hours."

"And what are your work hours, exactly?" asked Rarity, stepping closer. She was wearing a thick neck piece covered in black feathers, with a red gem at its centre, dark make-up, and an ornate dress resembling a large pair of folded raven wings over her back.

Death turned to her. "All of them. I have an appointment with a fish in sixteen seconds, for example. But not this me." It sighed.

Rarity blinked, then gave a brief nod. "I understand. I apologise for my reaction earlier. How come you know Celestia and Luna? You seemed familiar with them."

"I am. They used to send quite a few creatures my way, back in the day, though that's not how I met them."

"And how did you meet them?" Rarity pressed on, curious.

"Everyone meets me, eventually," Death replied. "Sometimes they even live through it."

Rarity nodded again, blinking. "That is an admirable quip, but it doesn't answer the question."

"You couldn't truly believe uncovering the secrets of Death is as easy as merely asking a question, could you?"

Rarity didn't know whether she should have been outraged or impressed by how smug the skull managed to look.

Fluttershy spoke up again. "Is it true that you can strike a bargain with Death?" she asked. Feeling multiple sets of eyes turn to her, she added, "I, uh, read that in a book."

"I have likely met its author," Death replied. "If not, I will one day. And, to answer your question, I do make deals on occasion. But that's not a matter I'll discuss outside of when those are happening."

Fluttershy pursed her lips, but didn't ask further. She moved to a different topic instead. "Will Discord... You know, you?"

"I don't do gods, concepts, or jellyfish. Not usually. So no. Not me, at least," Death explained. "Maybe there is something else that will take care of that. Do give him my regards, it has admittedly been a while since the last time we spoke to each other. I should pay him a visit."

Fluttershy nodded. "I'll make sure to."

Death looked to the only pony in the room who hadn't acknowledged it yet. Quietly, quite literally soundlessly, it moved towards Applejack, who wore a witch costume, a long black gown and a large hat of the same colour. She was busy pretending to stare at a round metal box filled with candied fruit. "Saving the tin for next year?" Death asked.

Applejack didn't answer.

Death did answer, though not a question which had been asked. Not out loud, at least. "No. I can't. I'm just a gatekeeper, it's not my business what happens after."

Applejack finally looked at it, not for the first time. "Want some candied fruit?"

Death shook its head. "I like fruit better when it's normal."

Applejack chuckled. "Well, we've got that in common." She sighed. "You don't seem so bad. Always good to know those you'll have to deal with are at least nice to be around."

Death seemed to smile, though Applejack wasn't sure of it. "I don't know what it's like," it began. "My family is as ageless as I am. But I've seen it happen as much as one could, and I'd say that's enough times to get an idea of what it's like. The best advice I can give is to spend as much time as you can with someone. I may be inevitable," it continued, "but it'll at least make sure there are fewer regrets after my business is done. Creatures will always find something to cry over, and invent it if they can't, but you can at least soften the blow." Its tone lowered, and it leaned a bit closer to Applejack. "I'd recommend you take good care of your grandmother, these next few years." Then, it slowly turned and walked back towards the centre of the room.

Rainbow Dash was at its side after a moment. "How do ghosts work?" she asked. "And why do they haunt places they lived in? And why don't they hang around cemeteries?"

"As I was saying to your friend, what happens after me is no business of mine. So I'm afraid I can't be of much help on the subject of ghosts." Death reached the punch bowl, and served itself a glass. "But I can assure you, graves and tombs are there for the living. The dead have no use for them."

From the adjacent room, the pop of magical teleportation was heard. It was followed by hoofsteps, and a familiar voice. "Twilight? I'm here," a mare called. The hoofsteps grew closer, and the door opened.

"Starlight," Death greeted the new guest. "It's been a while."

Starlight screamed, and ran back out, the four added legs of her spider costume jiggling along. She smacked face first into Twilight, just as she teleported into the room. "Starlight!"

"Look, I can explain," the unicorn began. "I was young and stupid and-"

Twilight had started speaking almost at the same time as Starlight. "Oh, dear, you've seen it too? Don't worry, it's Pinkie-" She stopped, too, only a moment after her. "What were you talking about?"

"Uh..." Starlight gave a small cough. "Nothing?"

Twilight was about to press on with questions, when the tolling of a bell from outside made her attention snap back. "Death!" she called, nervous, making her way towards the room where her friends were. "We'll be late for the start of the playrade!"

"Twilight, my dear." Death appeared behind Twilight as she was scanning the inside of the room. "You should know that I am always on time." They both disappeared in a puddle of black.

Twilight sighed, leaning back into her chair. It had taken a moment to convince everyone to go with it, but the first Nightmare Night Playrade had been a success. Much more than she'd thought it had any right to be. "How come you're so good at acting?" she asked Death, who was sitting next to her.

"Sometimes, creatures need convincing to move on. The illusion of something. A game, a trip to places, things like that. Sometimes they need something more before they believe they're ready to move on." Death explained. "And I've had a long time to practice."

Twilight nodded. "Are you leaving us, then? Now that you've fulfilled your end of the deal with Pinkie?" She put a hoof to her chin, suddenly thinking. "I need to study that summoning circle."

"Pinkie's deal wasn't actually binding. It was more of a request," said Death. "I'm here because I want to. Besides, she drew the runes with chocolate instead of blood."

Twilight looked at Death. "And why did you come, then? I'm sure there are plenty of creatures out there trying to summon you."

"She drew the runes with chocolate instead of blood."

Twilight began to chuckle. A moment later, she was laughing. "Are you staying, then?"

"I always do. But given the occasion, I should look the part." From beneath the cape, one of Death's skeletal wings protruded, then two of its bones clicked in the same way a creature with the proper anatomy for it would snap its fingers. In a flash of darkness, Death donned what took Twilight a moment to identify as a replica of Pinkie Pie with an oversized head. Her laughing redoubled.

Once she'd finally calmed down, she asked, "There's the Nightmare Night Ball in a few minutes. Do you dance?"

"Sometimes. You?"

"Poorly."

"Smart thinking. No one'll care that you're bad at it when they notice you're dancing with me." Death held out a wing.

Twilight looked at it. "Sounds like you're choosing for me without asking."

"Force of habit," Death said. "At least this time you can refuse."

Twilight looked at Death a while more. "Why not. I'm sure we'll be killing it on the dance floor."