Life can throw curveballs at you. The world found that out with a global pandemic. Tensions of job insecurity with mass evictions showed how fast those curveballs can be. The realization that our world can crumble apart by an organism so small that we cannot see it with the naked eye made us recognize how fragile we truly are.
Going through a pandemic is life changing, but being sent to another world because of an accident is much more of a change. I was passing time binge watching My Little Pony when it happened. One moment I’m eating super dope nachos then a hole opened in my floor that made me spill the nachos on myself.
I’m not certain how to properly greet royalty, but screaming from hot cheese on your boobs is not the way to go. I was certain however my reaction was perfect if you want to seem like a threat to guards protecting princesses. They were quick to press their swords to my throat. Fortunately the two princesses were able to get the guards away from me with magic.
How did I know they were princesses? Well it is easy to figure out when they were sitting on thrones and looked like semi anthro versions of Celestia and Luna. Everyone looked mostly human except for: horns/wings, skin and hair color, way taller than normal humans, tails, weird nails that looked like they had hooves on each nail, big eyes, and elf like ears.
Celestia looked uber pissed off, but not toward me or the guards. Luna wrapped her arms around her legs as she curled into shame. I’ve read enough isekai to figure out what happened. Luna must have been responsible for bringing me here.
“I told you we could have a hero too.” Luna said still curled in a shame ball while looking at her angry sibling.
“That doesn’t matter Luna since this hero clearly has no idea what is going on. Not to mention what other countries will think when we clearly summoned a human without the guidance of a diety.” That made Luna look scared on top of being ashamed. She was almost looking like someone wanting to Sonic spin dash out of the situation.
Celestia turned to me and began to explain what had happened. " I’m so sorry human. My sister was wanting to summon a hero since other countries have been chosen to home heroes chosen by deities. She performed the spell without the ritual involved and that means you won’t be protected or guided by a deity on your quest to save the world from the demons. Fortunately you should still have powers from the magic of our world. Also sorry for spilling your food on you. I promise to replace your clothes and heal any damage done.”
“Thanks for that... Ummm... So not to seem rude but can you just send me back instead. I have clothes at home.” I was preparing myself for the bad news I assumed was about to be told to me.
" I’m sorry but that is not possible until the Demon Lord is killed. We will make sure you live comfortably until the heroes do kill the Demon Lord. After all you were put here against your will and will not have the guidance to use your powers. Oh where are my manners. My name is Princess Celestia and this is my sister and fellow Princess Luna. Please don’t say your name since it can be used against you by the demons if they find out. Instead please think of an alias. You don’t need one right away, but please get one as soon as possible since calling you hero in public might give ponies the wrong idea.”
" It is a good thing I didn’t have much going for me in my world. So if I’m not supposed to be a hero that what am I supposed to do here?” Seriously though what the Hell am I supposed to do.
“That depends on you. We will give you bits each month to compensate you and allow you to live a decent life here. If that is not enough you can use your powers to make money if it is possible.
Now then let me see what your class.... This is a first, but very fortunate for you. It appears you have a merchant class. According to my spell you have the ability to buy anything from this world and your world. Whatever you buy goes to your inventory which keeps items the same condition while inside. You also have various business and crafting skills along with an unlimited distance Gate spell.
With Gate you can travel anywhere so long as you have been there. This would be wonderful to use to see my student, but I need to let her be. She can’t learn about friendship if I’m constantly distracting her. "
Celestia then proceeded to talk about Twilight and Ponyville. I already knew about everything she talked about, but I don’t want her to know that I know. Knowing someone who knows things about you that you haven’t told them is very creepy.
“I could just visit her and help schedule meeting days. You could use her studies as an excuse " I couldn’t keep up with the white blur that glomped me.
“Oh really that would be wonderful!” Luna looked shocked at what her sister just did.
" Sister, thou must keep thyself in proper form lest this commoner think above her station.” Wow Luna sounds like a bitch. I’m a human there is nothing ordinary about me.
“That is an easy fix Luna. Human you are now the Duchess of Ponyville.” Did she just make me only one step below Princess in the heirarchy? This is bound to cause issues.
" As much as I appreciate the offer, I can’t accept. A human with no background suddenly gaining a royal status will likely cause suspicion that could lead to others finding out what Princess Luna has done.
I recommend that I have the status a new citizen traveling merchant that happens to have won over your friendship. It can be true if we give it a try.”
Celestia gave a wide grin and turned to her sister, " On second thought Luna this might actually be a good idea.
Author's Note
A short chapter to get the story going. This is a groundup remake of “so what if I can't attack as the hero". The OP gamer protagonist is very hard to write. So instead I'm going for cunning business woman who has super convenient powers. This story will fit more with previous writings I've done so I will likely have an easier time writing than last story. For those that want a little spoiler for next chapter here it is. Equestria doesn't have coffee or pizza
If you have a better idea for description of this story let me know. I didn't touch on mainstory last time and have a hard time finding key points to put in description.
Story is based on Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi and the musical version of Hunchback of Notre Dame
“For the last time you braindead sack of horse shit I'm not a spy! I'm really friends with Celestia and this mirror is not a portal to an ancient temple protected by cats!”
I had planned for Rainbow Dash to be a headache inducing idiot, but after Celestia sent a seven letters explaining why I was there everypony realized Rainbow Dash was antihuman. This went on for longer than I am willing to admit, but at least I was not seen negatively despite my onslaught of profane language.
Twilight was the one to stop Rainbow Dash and sighed with disappointment. “ I'm so sorry about that human. Rainbow Dash is very protective and your situation is admittedly unique. Hopefully you will find a suitable name soon so you appear less suspicious.”
“ Don't worry Twilight I already came up with a name.” After hearing other human names by talking to ponies on the train, I realized human names are of European nature. It seems like humans live in a typical Isekai environment. So thinking along those lines I came up with, “ Alice Wonderland is my new name.”
“ Oh why that name?” Twilight perked up with that name.
“ Well Alice in Wonderland is a story where a girl goes to another world that completely different than her own. I figure that fits my situation. Also it sounds like other human names here. Like Celestia wrote, we can't let others know I'm from another world, so don't tell anyone this is not my real name... Also where is Pinkie?”
Surprise!
Everypony in unison with varying levels of enthusiasm, “ Welcome to Ponyville!”
“ Wow if it's a party then I know two mares that would love to join" I walk into the mirror that contains the gate to another mirror I left Celestia. I told her and Luna about the party and Luna declined. I would have been more sad by her obvious loneliness, but she was sharpening a battle ax while breathing heavily with a crazed look in her eyes. This scared the everlasting fuck out of me so I decided to just grab Celestia and leave before she goes Michael Myers on my ass.
When we left the mirror the once spacious library was full of onlookers. Pinkie must have told ponies that a human was here and they wanted to see the foreign creature. The to wide for a Blowjob open mouths makes me think they didn't expect Celestia. The crowd bowed so fast that many fell over. One could mistake this for an orgy demanded by the Princess for her viewing pleasure if they walked in, but it seems the whole town is here so that is not an issue.
“ No need for the formalities my little ponies. I'm here to celebrate my friend Alice's arrival in Ponyville.”
There were many gasps at the mention of friend. Celestia looked really annoyed. I guess I would be annoyed to if the people I ruled over just showed they think I have no friends. Once everypony settled down there was splitting of groups in different conversations. I was giving ponies the impression that I left the human country of Terra, because they weren't ready for my ideas. With the public thinking I'm an inventor I can bring things from my world much easier. We talked about cuisine eventually and I realized they don't have certain foods or drinks here. There is no coffee for cafes or for diners or pizza for parties and life in general. With that knowledge I knew what I had to do. Make a store that sells what Equestria doesn't have. I can be rich with bringing the many things I took for granted. All I have to do is charge more than my magic store sells to me and I'll be set... well a building would be nice to work and sleep in.... Oh shit I'm homeless right now. Well looks like I'm crashing with somepony till I get on my feet. Ok I'll target Rarity since she lives in Ponyville and is supposedly generous.
“ Hey Rarity can a speak with you about something.”
Rarity's smile wasn't covered in the shade of her hat. Her dress peach dress was tied with a cyan ribbon that made a bow in the back. She dressed like a modern stepford woman. Her outfit is definitely more simple than I thought her taste would be based on the show, but it is absolutely fashionable.
“ Of course Darling let's go outside. I can hardly hear anything with all this talking around us.” We made it outside after some rather rough pushes made by Rarity got us through. Being so much smaller than everypony kinda makes it scary to move since I would basically be in the genital area and touching there would lead to many awkward discussions. “ So what seems to be the trouble Darling?”
“ Well I seem to be in need of a place to stay. I would stay at the castle, but I don't exactly get along with Luna. She gets jealous when I'm with Celestia and living there would likely cause many issues. I heard you are the element of Generosity and figured you would be the best to start with. I know you make dresses and I know how to sew, so I can help while I'm getting my business ready.”
“Oh you know what you want to do hear that is wonderful. Although I must warn you I live with my little sister so don't expect a quite home. We have a guest room for my parents when they visit, but I guess you could stay somewhere else when that happens. I wish we had a hotel for you to stay at, but Ponyville is not exactly a tourist destination. Oh listen to me rattle on. Let's get Sweetie Belle and bring you to our humble abode.”
Humble is not what I would use to describe this fashionista's home. Ivory white walls with gold and lavender accents, chests of opulent jems and luxurious fabrics. There is an organized chaos to the place as well. Color coded piles of threads and various tools show this place is in full use and lived in.
“ Sorry about the mess. I have been busy with orders after a fashion show for my friend's Gala dresses. Oh and if you are going to the Gala then I can help with design, but you will have to make the dress. I wish I could make it myself, but I have been far to busy.”
“ That's not a problem Rarity. You have given me a place to stay and I wouldn't want to take advantage of you. If it makes you feel good then I would love a design from you. Plus I can use it to show I can pull my weight around here. Once I prove myself I can help with your orders.”
“ You are a life saver. All these orders have been a nightmare to deal with. Look at this stack.”
[Would you like to copy ×99 dress designs to crafting list]
[Yes]
[You can now make dresses by adding required material to inventory]
“Rarity I think I will be more helpful than you think"
Author's Note
Yes a displaced that doesn't live with the Apples. Let me know what you think about this chapter and what would you sell to ponies in the comments
Sometimes life brings you people that become the wind beneath your wings. They uplift you to prevent any downfall. It has been a week since I helped Rarity with her business and with my powers she has never been more productive. I don't think there is any designer that wouldn't be making so many new designs with the power to perfectly put their designs into reality at their disposal.
Rarity makes the design and then looks to see if she has material for dresses. If she doesn't then I use my [Online Store] ability and give her the price of material plus some extra so I can make a profit.
She knows I charge extra and am using that money to buy my own building and isn't upset by it. My abilities may have played a part in that. I basically saved her months of work and turned it into 3 days with my power.
Rarity takes extreme levels of precision and care in her work and with my [Crafting] ability I bypassed the time it would normally. [Crafting] still takes time, but it seems to work at the speed an automated machine designed solely to make whatever I'm crafting would take. The [Crafting] ability has leveled up 3 times so now it has cut the time it takes to make something by 4%.
Since she no longer has the most time consuming part of her work to worry about, we have been able to sight see around Ponyville and Canterlot. We would also personally deliver the dresses to ensure they were delivered in prestine condition. The customers were impressed that a nonpegasus dress maker would travel so far just to give them their dress. Of course we never mentioned I basically made a magic travel mirror.
Celestia was also taking advantage of the mirror so I made a second set for safety and convenience. I also introduced Celestia to various cakes from my world via [Online Store]. She had a laughing fit when I showed her Moon Pies. After her laughing fit she said that she imagined Luna with Pinkie Pie's personality. I was fortunate enough for Luna to not hear that.
Celestia explained to me that Luna has been on edge since Nightmare Night is soon and she is worried about how it will go. I gave some explanation of Halloween my world's similar holiday. Turns out the holidays are celebrated exactly the same except for the offering of candy to a statue of Nightmare Moon.
I had lapse in judgment and offered to go with Luna to the Ponyville celebration. I'm supposed to sell my own products like Pumpkin Spice Lattes and various desserts with horror decorations. Now I need somepony to handle Luna while I'm at my stall. So please help me Twilight.
“.... You're charging extra to Rarity despite her letting you stay at her home? Wow Alice that is just shamefull.”
“ You're missing the point Twilight. I need to sell my stuff on Nightmare Night to build my business. Luna is going to want to visit the other stalls and you are not operating a stall. Besides she is your mentor's long lost sister. I'm sure Celestia would be very happy if you two became friends.”
“ sigh... I know you are playing with me and it is working. Fine I'll let Luna know I'll be the one with her on Nightmare Night, but don't run to me if she is angry with you.”
“ Thank you Twilight. I'll give you a book from my world for the trouble.”
“ Your world has books!”
“... I'm so insulted by the implications of that stamentment that I'm going to leave before I do something I regret.”
I headed to Rarity's for proposing a joint venture in selling costumes when I came across Applejack. She was also headed to Rarity's home and that lead to me thinking of how I used to ship Rarijack. I must have been giggling since Applejack looked at me like I finally cracked from being forced to live in another world. Little did she know how better off I am here than my old world.... best not to think about it.
“ Ah are you alright Sugercube?”
“Yes I was just imaging something funny. Well not funny as more just entertaining.”
“What were you imagining?”
“You and Rarity as a couple.... shit I shouldn't have said that.”
“Wah me and Rare. That doesn't make any sense. We have two completely different personalities.”
“ They say opposites attract and it's just my opinion that you two should get together. Plus you already have a nickname for her.”
“ You don't even know me enough to think who I should be with.... unless... Does Rarity talk about me alot.”
“Ah she does, but in a tsundere way. It's cute.” Again with my big mouth.
“What the hay is a sundry?”
“Don't worry I don't think either of you should confess yet and I don't think she realizes she might have feelings for you. Best not to mention it.”
“ Not mention it! Now I'm stuck wondering if my friend wants to be my special somepony. I can't just forget about it.”
“ Well just keep an open mind about it. I'm sure Rarity won't ask you out or anything.”
“Why would I ask Applejack out Darling?”
“Am I in a sitcom. Please tell me I'm not in a sitcom.”
Applejack says with gritted teeth,” No but you are in trouble.”
After telling them my views on Rarijack, the confused duo moved on to talk about Nightmare Night. It turns out Rarity already makes costumes for Ponyville and Applejack was wanting to be a Scarecrow. Rarity forgot to tell me she was wanting my help to make the costumes with designs she has. I bought Applejack a Scarecrow costume from The Wizard of Oz. Fortunately I am able to change the size of clothing from my world to fit the very much larger semianthro ponies.
She thanked me and gave me the bits to cover the costume price. Rarity was upset that I gave her friend a costume she didn't design and I told her that sexy scarecrow is never fashionable. She blushed and brought materials for other costumes that have been ordered.
Nightmare Night finally arrived and that morning I went around Ponyville giving free samples of Pumpkin Spice Lattes. The ponies loved it more than humans since they are not used to the artificial flavors and coffee. I planned for this and expect them to come to my booth during their caffeine crash.
Is it evil selling a product you know will get the population addicted without warning them of the side effects? If so I wouldn't know because I'm from the Capitalist Empire America. Seriously though these ponies are so going to make me rich... Filthy Rich.
“Why if it isn't our new Entrepreneur Alice Wonderland. What is that delicious smelling drink in your hands?”
“ Well Mr. Rich it is one of my creations. I call it a pumpkin spice latte. It is a must have drink of the Fall. It contains coffee which gives you energy to stay awake while also giving a warm comforting feeling. Here try a free sample.”
“Well this just the most flavorful thing I have ever tasted. Where can I buy It?”
“ Tonight at my stand next to the Apple Family booth. After that you'll have to wait till I get my own store to sell it in. Before you even suggest it, I don't need a loan. With the money I have been saving and spells I can use to build the store I will be able to sell these drinks and more before the end of Neighvember.”
“Err. We call it November in Equestria, but thank you for trying to integrate with our culture. If you need any advice or wind up having to need a loan let me know and I'll help.”
“ Thanks Mr. Rich I'll be sure to keep that in mind.”
“I'm surprised that there Filthy Rich didn't propose to you on the spot. Not many mares can help a business like you can.”
“ Granny he is a married stallion! Ignore her she is just trying to play match maker again.”
“ Well Applejack how's about we get this here entreepanour with Big Mac. Our Big Mac isn't called that for nothing. Hehehehe.”
“Granny! Don't talk like that in public. Besides you know it wouldn't work out.”
Applejack was kinda right. When 12 inches is on the small side a human girl is likely to die during sex. Fortunately for me it is possible to change my body to be more accommodating. There is a potion in this world that gives the power of shape-shifting. The problem is that it is extremely expensive. I can make it myself but need changling blood and poison joke. The changing blood will be an issue since they hide very well and don't exactly advertise where they are. I can make a temporary one, but the process is supposed to be painful and I am not wanting that experience. I tried looking for sex toys here but that is apparently only a noble thing. Looks like I'll have a major impact on culture here.
“ Don't worry Applejack I'm not offended by her remarks. I actually found a solution to that particular problem so if I were to date Big Mac it wouldn't be an issue.”
“ Hehe did you hear that Big Mac. Looks like you got yourself another lady friend.”
It may surprise you I have yet to meet Big Mac. Calling him big is misleading. He is fucking huge. He is by far the tallest and most muscle bound thing I have ever seen. When I turned around the bulge not so hidden in his mummy wrappings pressed on my open mouth. A tearing sound was heard and his now erect cock lifted me from my pussy off the dirt floor. We were covered from view by a piece of wood fortunately. After a week of no release and being desired by a such a virile man I wrapped my arms and legs around him and orgasmed while on his massive shaft.
It is a good thing Big Mac is already red so his blush is invisible. Unfortunately I made all the benefits we had moot since I orgasmed so loud the ponies around us heard. Deciding to go as Barbie is also a mistake since now I'm sure Ponyville thinks I'm a sex crazed Bimbo that is going to die from getting impaled by dick.
“OK Big Mac after Nightmare Night YOU. ARE. GOING. INSIDE. ME. Got it?”
“Eeyup.”
“Good now think of what you want me to look like as a mare. It is going to super painful for me and now the town thinks I'm a slut so you better make it worth it.”
“Eeyup.”
“Well at least I won't have to worry about bad dirty talk.”
Once the spectle was over I set up my stall. Since the ponies here are more human than pony they are omnivores. I had a large pizza in the center with a pumpkin design made from pepperoni. There is also ghost cake pops, spider covered sweet bread sticks, and Gummi worms. I put two large signs with a menu for pizza and coffee drinks. I had the fullest line and the other stalls looked like they were ready to mug a pony for a pumpkin spice latte or pizza slice.
“Hey everypony. Please wait a moment while I deliver the orders from the stalls. They did order before you and it would be rude of me to wait till the end of Nightmare Night.” This is a lie to put myself in good graces of other businesses... And to share the addiction.
“Here we go Apple Family. Three pumpkin spice lattes and one larger pepperoni pizza.”
“Uhh Alice...”
“Shhhh. Applejack just go with it.” Everypony now knew what was going on, but thought I was just doing it for Big Mac's family.
“Bon Bon what was your order again?” After Bon Bon giggled everypony got the jist of it.
As soon as I got back to my stand the Luna fiasco began. I decided to stay standing instead of kneeling.
“Human thou art not afraid of thee?”
“ I'm a Black Friday veteran you don't scare me.... well when you threaten me you are terrorfying, but right now you are wanting what all girls want.”
” What is that?”
(Plays Girls Want to have Fun by Madonna on cd player that wasn't there before)
“To have fun!”
And so Luna learned the joys of being a woo girl and basic bitch.
“Big Mac! Your place now!”
Next time first sex scene
Author's Note
Have you ever thought you posted a chapter, but didn't... Me Too!
Happy Halloween
