Alicorn Biology: Princess Celestia

“I have to admit, when Celestia’s letter said the royal carriage to Canterlot would arrive by noon today, I was a little nervous.” Bon Bon stared upwards at Lyra’s aura as she expertly pulled out the last roller from her mane in a motion that was smooth despite the slight rocking of the flying carriage.

Lyra smiled at Bon Bon, as well as at her understatement. “Anything’s possible when you have a wife by your side who knows you as well as I do.” They stood up slightly on their seats to bump flanks, then burst into a shower of giggles.

“Oh, here, the finishing touch.” Lyra floated over the daisy she had been keeping, tucking it behind Bon Bon’s ear. With that, her fine white veil flowing over her mane and neck, and her bouncy pink-and-blue curls that would be the envy of any Canterlot socialite, she looked every bit as beautiful, if not more so, as she did on their wedding day not two moons ago.

“Perfect! See? I told you we could get it done on the way over!”

Lyra was glad to see Bon Bon’s body relax, putting an end to the state of panic she had been in since the morning when the cross-eyed mailmare apologetically hoofed over the response letter from Celestia she had at first mis-delivered.

Bon Bon leaned over to kiss Lyra warmly in thanks. They held each others’ gaze for a second, smiling.

Then Bon Bon turned to look ahead. Lyra followed her gaze. Over the head of the carriage pony, she could see the spires of Canterlot getting closer as they began their descent. She could even make out the tiny figures of worker ponies scrambling around the scaffolding that jutted out of the back half of the Castle. A scab over a healing wound.

“I still can’t believe that the Goddess chose me.” Bon Bon said with wonder in her voice. “Do you know how long it’s been since the last time She chose somepony?”

“Yeah, a long time, right?” Lyra tried not to show any sign of uncertainty in her voice or specify any length of time whatsoever. With Celestia herself having ruled Equestria for more than a thousand years, what did “a long time” mean? Years? Decades? Centuries?

“Oh, it’s been years! She hasn’t chosen anypony since Princess Luna came back, of course.” Lyra nodded as if it were obvious how that one fact implied the other. “But an Earth pony like me? One that didn’t even grow up in Canterlot? I don’t even know!” She stared off into the distance as if peering across the gulf of time. “Centuries, at least!”

Lyra bristled inside as she did every time Bon Bon put down her own roots, even inadvertently. It wasn’t that Bon Bon felt any spite about it. Quite the contrary. Lyra always remembered Bon Bon’s reaction when Lyra told her off-handedly that when she had gone to the wedding of Princess Cadance, it was as a bridesmare and not as a mere guest. It had never been a big deal to her, but Lyra still had to spend that evening reassuring Bon Bon that yes, a highborn unicorn like her could love even an Earth pony from humble origins like Bon Bon, and that such differences never mattered anyway, and that Bon Bon was worth more to her than all of those fancy Canterlot unicorns combined. Including the Princesses.

She played that one off as another silly Lyra joke when Bon Bon gasped at the sacrilege, but she had meant every word.

“We’re not even at the Palace yet but it’s already so magical.” Bon Bon’s voice was practically glowing. “Everything’s even better than what I could have dreamed of as a filly! The ornate scroll we received. This fancy flying carriage.” She smiled at her. “My beautiful wife by my side.”

Lyra’s heart melted at her sense of wonder. She didn’t have the heart to tell her that the ornate scroll was actually Celestia’s standard letterhead, which she associated more with her lackluster grade reports than anything else. Or that the flying carriage was part of a fleet of dozens, and only evoked memories of grumbling fillies in school uniform dreading the next interminable royal function they were being carted off to as the face of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.

“I’m just so happy that you’re so happy, Bonnie. Nothing could make me happier than the fact that Celestia chose you, and that she sees how special the pony I married is.”

Bon Bon looked like she could explode from happiness right then and there. Lyra felt a bit guilty at how correct that answer apparently was, still without having any idea what any of this meant. Getting away from the endless parade of obscure millenia-old ceremonies, rituals, and customs was one of the biggest reasons she had moved away from Canterlot in the first place, but in this moment she wished that she had paid more attention to those things growing up. At least then Lyra wouldn’t have to pretend to know what was going on. Plus, she would be able to understand just why Bon Bon was wearing her wedding dress.

She really should have said something a week ago when the first letter from Celestia arrived. But Bon Bon so clearly expected Lyra to know what being ‘chosen’ meant that she did not have the courage to ask. It was also a bit strange in the first place that a ceremony meant for Bon Bon specifically needed her wife’s consent, but Bon Bon was so excited for a “yes” from Lyra that she could not help but to agree enthusiastically. Whatever it was, she knew, loved, and trusted her Bonnie. No matter what, soon enough they would be back in Ponyville, settling into their new lives as wife and wife.

Also, a bit selfishly, she hoped that actually seeing how these things went from the inside might dampen her… enthusiasm for the whole thing. Celestia may have shaped the society they and their ancestors have lived in for more than a thousand years, but in the end receiving her attention wasn’t life-changing, and the ponies who did were really no better than anypony else. Lyra certainly didn’t think that about herself.

The carriage landed directly in front of the doors of the Palace and the couple disembarked. Lyra tried to strike a balance between polite eye contact with the silent pegasus pony that had pulled them all the way from Ponyville and not showing any sign of recognizing him, as then she would have to admit to herself that she had never learned his name despite the years he had spent dragging her and her school friends around Canterlot.

A single pony of the Royal Guard stepped forward to greet them.

“Bon Bon and Lyra Heartstrings,” she said, in a way that was not a question. “The Princess is ready for you. Please follow me.”

Lyra resisted the urge to just casually ask the guardsmare for which of the Halls or Ballrooms or Chambers they were supposed to go to in order to smugly lead Bon Bon there herself. She knew that this was Bon Bon’s moment and not an opportunity to show off to her wife. Besides, who knows what changes might have taken place during the rebuilding?

She was surprised by how the entrance hall was so unchanged from how it had been throughout her fillyhood. Every statue and drape, every slate and arch, down to the streaks in the marble. But that made sense, as most of the damage had been in the Throne Room and towards the rear of the Castle. Even if the entrance hall had been damaged, a precise reconstruction would be a strong message to all of Equestria that Cozy Glow’s successful attack on Canterlot Castle changed nothing about the strength and security of Celestia’s rule, or that of its coming continuation under Princess Twilight.

So Lyra could not join in on her wife’s oohing and aahing at the splendor of it all. It was a place that was about as exciting and unfamiliar to her as the Ponyville town hall. What she wouldn’t give to see it through the eyes of an Earth pony who grew up in a working-class family in far-away Bronclyn.

Yet something seemed off in all this. She didn’t notice until that sense of propriety burned into her from her Canterlot upbringing whispered to her. Hey, didn’t it look a bit ridiculous that your wife is wandering around the Palace in her wedding dress and veil, gawking at every ornate doorway and stained glass window they passed by? She then realized what was off. They had not seen anypony. Even in the middle of its reconstruction, there should have been somepony running around the Castle’s halls. Dignitaries, representatives, Castle staff, Royal Guard. Yet the only ponies they had seen so far were the pegasus that had carried them from Ponyville and the unicorn that was leading them now.

Said guardsmare then turned down an unfamiliar hallway, and Lyra realized with surprise that they were entering a part of the castle she had never been to before. They were led to a set of spiraling stairs that went up and up and up. When they stopped at a set of double doors that split a sun motif, Lyra realized where they were. Celestia’s personal chambers. She had never heard of a royal ceremony taking place in Celestia’s personal chambers. What was going on?

“The Princess left specific instructions that Her honored guests are to enter alone, so I must leave you now. It has been an honor serving Her guests.” The guardsmare bowed her head then took her leave, trotting off the way they had come. That was also new to Lyra. She was left alone with Bon Bon, who was looking up in awe at the double doors.

The doors opened in a glow of magic, and the two ponies entered. Lyra, for once, shared her wife’s nervousness, though not her excitement.

The circular room would have been flooded with light, had the curtains on the large windows not all been drawn. The dim lighting gave an odd atmosphere, as did the odd layout: a freestanding white arch straddling a stripe of red carpet. Lyra almost didn’t notice Celestia herself standing in front of the arch, her mane and tail aura blending into the room’s dominant themes of lavender and dark green.

Lyra looked down to see that the red carpet, which clashed unfortunately with the green flooring underneath, ran from hers and Bon Bon’s hooves, up through the arch, and to the base of the steps of the luxurious canopy bed on the other side of the chamber. The intimacy of the bed and the haphazardness of the pile of furniture and decorations crammed around the small fireplace in the back just added to the strangeness of it all. This was indeed Celestia’s personal chambers, temporarily set up for some sort of ceremony. Something about all this, and Bon Bon’s wedding dress, started turning the gears in Lyra’s head.

“Your Majesty!” Bon Bon cried, bowing her body down towards Celestia. Lyra glanced at her and quietly mimicked her action, though she did not close her eyes. Her instinct for greeting the Princess was a hoof wave and a “Hi, Princess Celestia!” Celestia gave her a knowing smile, as if she knew this.

“Bon Bon!” she greeted warmly. “My former agent!” Lyra blinked as she remembered that, oh yeah, that was a thing. “And Lyra Heartstrings, my former student.” Lyra smiled at the recognition. “Please, do get up, the both of you.”

They did so. Celestia was beaming at them.

“I am just so happy to see you both! It has been a joy watching two ponies from such different trots of life, whom I’ve cared for in such different ways, find each other.” She sat down for a moemnt to bring her hooves up to her cheeks. “Even just standing next to each other, you two are just… just so… adorable!”

Celestia was showing a side of herself Lyra had rarely seen before. The Celestia she knew growing up was more knowing smiles and wry amusement than beaming grins and plain excitement. She practically looked like she was about to prance around.

“I was so excited to get your wedding invitation, and really wish I could have been there! But managing the first moons of the reconstruction of Canterlot sadly kept me too busy to attend.” She chuckled. “Though I suppose, in a way, I am making it up to you now”.

“Oh, it’s okay, Princess!” Lyra waved her off. She was relieved to have finally figured everything out. The arrangement of the room. The wedding dress. Even the odd secrecy, maybe. It all made sense to her now!

“I mean, I understand you really wish that you could have been there, but you didn’t have to go through all this just for us!”

Celestia and Bon Bon both stared at her, the happy energy of the room suddenly deflating.

“W-what are you talking about, Lyra?” Bon Bon asked with a quivering voice.

“Oh, you know! The letter, the carriage to Canterlot, the ceremony, and all that. It’s so that Celestia can marry us together again, right? Since she would have offered to do that if she could have come the first time.” Lyra chuckled. “I mean, why else would you be wearing your wedding dress?“

Celestia’s eyes widened, and Bon Bon gave her a sad look.

“Lyra…” Bon Bon sighed. “You know I love you, right? I love your sense of humor. I really do! And I understand that you get nervous when things get too serious so you like to joke to lighten the mood. But this is the most important day in my life and I… I would prefer if you just took it more seriously.” She smiled concernedly at her.

“Oh, of course!” Lyra said, relieved she had gotten an out for her mistake. “Yeah, just trying to lighten the mood, y’know? Just being me.” She rubbed the back of her neck with her hoof nervously. “But I know how important this is to you, Bonnie. I love you, and I want to take it seriously.”

Bon Bon smiled with relief. Lyra continued.

“Like, my thing wouldn’t even have made sense anyway, thinking about it! If that’s what it was, I’d have brought my wedding dress too, and the rings!”

The relief in Bon Bon’s face dissolved. As did Lyra’s, as she thought about things a bit more. If that wasn’t it, what was all this about? The most important day of her life? Weren’t they just talking about their wedding day?

“Lyra…” Bonnie said with dread and hesitation in her voice. “Could you tell me exactly what you think is going on here?“

“I…” Lyra froze. She glanced over to Celestia who, if anything, looked even more worried than Bon Bon did. The dread she heard in Bon Bon’s voice started to make her stomach feel sick. She couldn’t lie any longer.

“I’m sorry, Bonnie. I have no idea. I really don’t. I just…“ She sighed. “I should have told you when you got the first letter, but you seemed so excited that I wanted to say ‘yes’ right away, so I did. Then it felt too late to go back and ask what I agreed to, so I’ve sort of just been pretending this whole time. I figured it couldn’t be too different from the hundreds of different royal ceremony things I’ve seen growing up…”

Bon Bon’s worry was replaced by horror. Lyra turned to look at Celestia, who was covering her face with her wings. Something that Lyra had never seen her do. Panic started to set in. What was going on?

“I’m really sorry Bonnie, I really shouldn’t have lied to you like that. But I just trust you, you know? I just don’t see how anything you wanted this much and made you this happy could possibly hurt me.”

Right? Lyra wanted to add, pleadingly. She wanted the expression on Bon Bon’s face to melt away, and for her to give a perfectly reasonable, harmless explanation for all this. Something that explained why Bon Bon was in her wedding dress, why there was nopony in the parts of the Castle they were led through, why they were in Celestia’s personal chambers. Why, in retrospect, Bonnie had seemed surprised at how readily Lyra agreed to this whole thing.

Instead, Bon Bon turned away from her, towards Celestia.

“Your Worship… Which one of us should tell her?”

Celestia did not move her wings from her face. “I believe it is important that it come from you.”

“As you wish, My Princess.”

Lyra did not like the sound of that exchange. She did not like it at all.

Bon Bon turned back to Lyra. “Lyra… we are doing a wedding ceremony of sorts. But you’re not here as a bride.”

In the pause between the two sentences, Lyra mind lived a thousand lifetimes trying to figure out what Bon Bon could possibly say next. Nothing could have possibly prepared her.

“You’re here to give me away.“ Bon Bon smiled softly and looked towards her Goddess. “I’m joining Princess Celestia’s harem as Her concubine.”