Graphs

by Mozzarella

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Romance, Comedy
Length: 83087

A rule 63 Dash clone. And it's not even Twilight's fault this time!

Consequences of our actions are often unforeseen. Some are harmless, some are fatal. Some are temporary, some are permanent. And then we have these.

When Rarity decides to perform a little wizardry, it should come as no surprise that things do not go as planned. One thing leads to another, and Rainbow Dash ends up with a stallion that looks, acts, and thinks like her to deal with. Will hilarity ensue? Will relationships form? Will Twilight just clone everypony else and get it over with? All very good questions. Some might even get answered. Tune in to Graphs to find out!

I believe gender-bent characters belong to that Trotsworth fellow. Cover brought to you by roselladoll1. She seemed to express consent for its use. Heartfelt thanks and whatnot to those two.

Published 2012-11-10 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-02 12:04:49 UTC

I Showed him Off

"The awesome is not in the sky. The awesome is in the dash."

Graphs

***

“Twilight! What’s going on?!” Rainbow Dash stood over her look-alike’s unconscious body, Spike was placing a wet cloth on Blitz’s head, and Twilight was nose-deep in her textbook.

“Hold on! I’ve got to find the spell she used.” Twilight shouted back. “Spike, check his vitals.” The dragon grimaced, wishing he had paid more attention to Twilight’s first-aid lessons.

“Uh, he’s breathing. That’s good, right?” He looked at her hopefully, but she was still flipping through the book.

“And his heart rate?”

“Uh,” Spike began to panic. Was ‘medic’ in the job description of ‘Number One Assistant’? He fumbled with his hands to try and find where a pony’s heart rate was. Something thumped in the Pegasus’s jaw.

“Uh, it’s going like ba dum, ba dum, ba dum.” He poorly mimicked the sound of a beating heart, emphasizing each beat with a wave of his claws.

The unicorn sighed. Spike, you are SO reading a medical book when this is over. “Alright, I guess that sounds ok.”

Rainbow Dash was suddenly upon her (Ponies seem to like getting up in Twilight’s grill, yo). “Ok!? He’s passed out on the floor and you say it sounds ok?!”

Her voice cracked a bit higher than usual. She wore a look of concern one rarely saw on that particular Pegasus.

“Settle down, Rainbow! Here, let me take a look.” She picked up spike and pushed him aside. I should have done this in the first place. The unicorn knelt down and placed her horn near Blitz’s muzzle. A purple glow covered her horn and then Blitz. She clenched her teeth as she struggled to maintain the spell. "I'm not really-ngh- all that familiar with this one."

Meanwhile, Spike and Rainbow Dash gave Twilight some space. Spike turned to Dash to speak, but found her to be covered in the same aura as Blitz. “Woah. Twilight? How are you doing that to both of them?”

Three ponies were in the room. One was unconscious, so he couldn’t talk. One was performing an advanced medical examination spell, so she wasn’t about to answer Spike. The one that was actually the subject of Spike’s inquiry also did not endeavor to acknowledge the dragon. Despite having glow surrounding her for no apparent reason, Rainbow Dash had her mind on other things.

Why am I so worried about him? I just met him. Blitz stirred with a pained expression on his face, but quickly relaxed. The spell faded and Twilight soon followed Blitz as she fell to the floor from exhaustion. Dash quickly got up to help her friend. “Is he alright?”

Twilight took a moment to catch her breath. “Yeah, I think he’s just sleeping now. And he's probably not a changeling. We should let him rest for a bit.” Dash released a breath forgot she was holding and stared down at her clone. “I’m going to go look into that duplication spell a bit more. Spike, why don’t you get lunch started?”

They went about their business, leaving Dash and Blitz alone. He lied peacefully on the floor, except for the occasional movement in his eyes.

What’s going on in there… she thought.

…and why do I care?

…

“And just what are the elements of harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?” Words came out of Blitz’s mouth without his consent. What’s going on? He felt a tug on his tale, and Applejack stepped in front of his vision to take over the questioning. How do I know her name? And there’s Rarity. That one is Pinkie, and Fluttershy. He was now in a dark forest with the rest of the ponies. We have to save Celestia! Nightmare Moon! Shadowbolts! Loyalty! An unexpected wall of water filled his nostrils and choked him back into consciousness.

He shook his head and opened his eyes. Rainbow Dash and Spike stood over him with a bucket. Spike turned to Twilight behind him. “He’s awake.”

“Good,” she replied. “We can cross clone coma off the list. That one didn’t really make any sense anyway.”

“Twilight! We need to go now! Celestia is in trouble. Where are the elements!?” Blitz jumped into the air and circled the room at just under Mach 1. A strong wind filled the library. He did about 30 laps before being tackled by his fellow rainbow Pegasus. They tumbled to the ground and came to a stop with Dash on top.

“Calm down, Blitz! We’re all here. Celestia is fine.”

“But, I just saw it! Eternal night! The manticore! The-“ He ran through the memory in his head. Lo and behold, it all did turn out fine. “Oh…huh.” He let out a relieved sigh.

Twilight walked over. “That sounds a lot like the night Nightmare moon came.”

Dash smiled down at him. “Hey, I thought you couldn’t remember anything.”

He began to rub his eyes. “Can I never do that again? My head hurts.”

“So… do you know all about that night now?”

He groaned. “I can’t think right now. Visions hurt.” He opened his eyes and was met with two magenta orbs that rendered him incapable of thought. The pain melted away.

Wow…

(Talk about easy on the eyes. Am I right? Huh? Huh? Anypony? Is this thing on?)

They stayed like that a while before Spike coughed and they noticed their compromising position. They quickly scrambled off of each other and stood awkwardly in front of the dragon. Twilight was back to one of her books, ignoring the Pegasi. “Well, it seems like you just flashed back to one of Rainbow Dash’s memories when you saw me the same way she did that night. What else do you remember?”

Blitz willed the blood away from his cheeks. He received a splitting headache upon attempting to use his brain. “I know how this one night went, with some Nightmare whatever. And I remember some other ponies’ names. Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack…”

“Good. You might be able to access more of Rainbow Dash’s memories that way. That should save you time getting to know everypony.”

“Wait, how am I remembering stuff I didn’t do?”

“Well, theoretically, you have the same brain as Rainbow Dash and, therefore, the same information stored in it. I guess you just aren’t all that familiar with all of it.” (It’s magic, this is a fanfiction, and I am no neurologist.)

“Amazing,” he deadpanned, suddenly less interested than he thought he was. “How long was I out?”

“About an hour and a half,” she replied, closing the book. “and now that you’re up, we can discuss your uh situation over lunch.”

Blitz looked around the room to find a table set up with sandwiches and a bowl of salad. They got lunch ready while I was passed out on the floor? He thought, almost upset. Did they even care? However, any indignation he felt quickly vanished upon hearing his stomach. I haven’t eaten since… ever? He walked over to the table and took a seat next to Spike across from the mares.

Everypony ate in silence for a few moments. Blitz was about to inhale his third sandwich when Twilight spoke up. “So, it seems like you,” she motioned at Blitz, “are the product of Rarity’s duplication spell. It must have hit Dash here when she crashed through the window.”

Dash glanced at her clone. “So, why is he, you know, a colt?” All eyes fell on Twilight.

“Well, the spell should create a very close replica of the object- or in this case, pony- it’s used on. I can only assume Rarity just didn’t cast it well. It is a complicated spell, after all. I doubt I would even be able to cast it perfectly.”

“Hear that, Blitz? You’re lucky to be alive!” Dash laughed with her defense-mechanism cockiness. Blitz choked on a sandwich.

“B-but I’m healthy, right? I won’t, like, blow up or anything. Right?”

Twilight brought her hoof to her chin in thought. Actual thought. Rainbow Dash’s laughing turned a bit more nervous.

“Right!?”

“I wouldn’t worry too much. Rarity is a talented unicorn-“

“She sure is,” Spike interrupted.

“-and I would have noticed if you were missing a few chromosomes.” The two Pegasi looked at her, expecting an explanation. She pouted. “You could look it up. We are in a library.”

Rainbow Dash felt a lecture coming on and didn’t feel that her clone’s first day should be spent learning. “A-actually, Twilight, we have to go take care of the weather. Yup. A whole lot of weather. Come on Blitz.” She nodded her head to the door hurriedly. He missed the hint, as colts often do, and dug deeper.

“But I want to know if I’m missing a chromostome!” Dash flew over to him and started pushing him out the door.

“Sorry. No time.” She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “No you don’t!” They made it out the door. “Thanks for everything Twi’, see ya later!”

Twilight followed them out and shouted, "Try not to tell anypony about this, alright?" One of them waved a hoof affirmatively before they were out of earshot.

Spike still sat at the table, enjoying his lunch. “Well, that was weird.” He took a bite of his salad and looked up to find Twilight looking angrily down on him.

“You. Medical encyclopedias. Now.” She said sternly.

“Aww…”

…

“But what if I’m missing a chromostome!?” Blitz yelled as he followed Dash higher into the clouds.

“Then we’ll buy you a new one! Trust me, you do not want to sit and read one of Twilight’s science books. I'm not even sure they use real words.” She broke through the dark blanket covering Ponyville’s sky and landed to survey the job. “This is going to take forever,” she mumbled.

Blitz landed beside her to see it for himself. From there, the sky looked like a snow-filled tundra with only Canterlot’s mountains jutting up from the planes. The sun shining above removed the oppressive grayness they saw below. The immaculate hills seemed to extend far beyond the horizon.

Who managed to buck up the weather this bad? He felt a familiar headache and his vision darkened.

Oh no, not again.

This time, the vision was a tad less vague. He was laying on a low cloud feeling cocky and carefree. On the ground stood Twilight with what appeared to be an afro. She said something with a teasing grin. “Hey! I could clear this sky in…”

Then he was back in reality. He looked down to see he that he had not fallen. Rainbow Dash still looked dejectedly at the clouds before them.

The image of her face blemished by sadness sent a lump of lead down his throat. It just didn’t seem right to see her like that. Something would have to be done. Perhaps some words of encouragement?

“Oh, please. This is nothing.

"I know. But it'll be boooring."

"Hey, I bet we could clear this sky in…”

Dash picked her head back up to match his cocky smile and arced an eyebrow. Then they shouted in unison, “Ten Seconds Flat!”

A crater appeared in the bumpy tundra from the force of their takeoff. They swept through the clouds in a spiral around the crater. Ponies below didn’t know what to make of the spectacle.

“Hurricane!” shouted one.

“The sky is falling!” shrieked another.

“’bout time,” said one of the ponies in the market. “Rainbow ‘s been slackin’ lately.”

Dash and Blitz flew beside each other, taking turns flying on the outside of their spiral. This created a dazzling rainbow double helix that tore through the sky. They exchanged glances through the wind that jabbed at their eyes. He’s good, Dash thought. Nopony else would be able to keep up this pace. She then resisted the urge to facehoof mid-air. Of course he’s good, Rainbow Dash. He’s YOU.

Needless to say, the job took longer than ten seconds. However, even the dirtiest of skies could not withstand TWO Rainbow Dashes for long. Celestia’s sun was soon allowed to fully grace Ponyville with its presence. A few cheers erupted from the ground. The citizens of Ponyville apparently enjoyed their free light show.

The Pegasi’s path soon straightened out and they slowed down to a comfortable glide. “That was pretty good for your first flight,” Dash laughed.

“Thanks. You’re not half bad yourself,” Blitz replied.

“Well, we better go check in with the weather patrol headquarters in Cloudsdale,” Dash said as she adjusted their course towards the floating city in the distance. And see if I’m not fired for being so late, she mentally added.

Blitz thought for a moment, and realized that he did not have a job. Or a home. Or any working knowledge of Equestria aside from his brief glances through blurry mental images. “Hey Dash, are they hiring?”

Mental light bulbs were activated and Rainbow Dash perked up a bit. “Blitz, I have a plan.”

…

A cart filled with letters and documents squeaked along the cloudy floor. Its driver held a face that would have screamed humdrum if it weren’t so damned humdrum. Fluorescent lighting along with the sounds of bored desk workers and quills on scrolls effectively created what can only be described as an “office” atmosphere.

Chief Sunrise sat in his office, looking over the day’s reports. He had a rare condition in which his name and brightly colored coat did not match his temperament. His sky blue hair and blonde mane greatly conflicted with the cigar in his mouth and the perpetual frown upon his face.

On his flank sat a sun partially obscured by two clouds. However, his employees would attest to the fact that he was in no way “sunny”. Sunrise had had to explain to everypony he met that it represented being punctual, not cheery.

“Um, chief?” Sunrise’s timid secretary peeked through his door. “Rainbow Dash is here to see you.”

“Send her in!” he roared. His cigar flew out of his mouth and fell through the cloudy floor. Far below Cloudsdale laid a patch of land in which no grass grew. The secretary bolted from the door with a yelp. Moments later, Rainbow Dash and her clone filed in.

“Hey chief. How’s it going?” Dash said with a nervous smile.

“You know very well how it is going Ms. Dash!” he boomed. He winced and clutched the back of his neck. Sighing, he lit another cigar. “The skies of Ponyville were cleared hours late, Ms. Dash. Hours.”

“Hey! I’m not the one who screwed it up in the first place!” she said indignantly.

“Farms all over the place will be up my flank about their damned plants! This is unacceptable!” Sunrise stopped to catch his breath. He was getting a little old for this. He looked to Blitz who was standing uncomfortably beside Dash. “And who are you?”

Blitz jumped at the voice now directed at him. “I’m –uh- Rainbow Blitz.” Dash glanced at him, nodding her head towards Sunrise who looked about ready to order Blitz’s execution.

“Ya see, Dash here went and twisted her wing this morning right before she was going to clear up the sky.” Dash feigned pain in her wing for effect. “She had to rest it for a while, so I took over the weather for her.”

“It took me a while to find a Pegasus free for the job,” the mare added.

Sunrise’s face was unimpressed at the excuse. “Uh huh. So tell me, Rainbow Blitz. Why did I hear that there were two Pegasi putting on a show in Ponyville’s sky today?”

The cyan ponies froze. They hadn’t thought anyone would go and report that to the weather headquarters, especially so recently after the “show”.

“Well, uh, you see, I…” Blitz stammered. Sunrise was almost certainly picking which axe he was going to use to decapitate him. Then he remembered the Rainbow Failsafe™. Brag. “I just fly so fast that it looks like there’s two of me.” He grinned sheepishly. “It’s my special trick.”

Dash facehoofed. Sunrise was still not amused.

Everypony was silent for what seemed like hours. Sunrise wouldn’t take his cold eyes off the Pegasi.

Crap, thought Dash. I’m fired.

Crap, thought Blitz. I'm dead.

Finally, the business pony spoke. “Ok, Mr. Blitz. I don’t know who you are or what you can do, but we obviously need a little help in the Ponyville area. How would you like to join the weather patrol?”

At first, all he could manage was a frantic nod. However, another glare made short work of his gesture of enthusiasm. “Yes, sir.” Blitz said quickly.

“Good. Go see my secretary for the paperwork.” Blitz excitedly exited the office. “And Ms. Dash?” (Not Mrs. Dash. That would be silly. We aren’t even cooking.) “Next time you get injured, please call us so we can send in a qualified substitute.”

Her mouth hung open. I’m not fired? “Yes sir! Thank you, sir!” she dashed (HA!) out of the smoky office to find her clone.

…

“Junior weather patrolpony?!” Blitz cried as he read his certificate. A pair of flight goggles sat on his head next to the complementary quill behind his ear. From the outskirts of Cloudsdale, they could see Ponyville in the distance. “Who’s the Senior?”

“Heh.” Dash laughed next to him. “That would be me.” She nudged his shoulder with a hoof. “Looks like I’m your boss! I seem to be doing pretty well for a filly.”

Blitz snorted. “Whatever. I’ll leave you in the dust any day, boss,” he spat, stowing his belongings wherever it is ponies store things.

“Is that so? How about a race then, big shot?” Rainbow Dash produced her own goggles and placed them over her eyes.

“You read my mind,” Blitz grinned, adjusting his goggles. “Where?”

Dash looked to the distant Ponyville to find a landmark. “Ah! That barn over there.”

“Cool,” he replied, approaching the edge of their cloud. “Ready?” They took on an exaggerated competitive stance.

“Set…” They exchanged glances. The tension filled the air. Some ponies stopped what they were doing to find the source of the tension. Crying babies suddenly calmed down in their sky strollers. Only the wind blowing everypony’s hair dared make a sound.

Silence.

“GO!” they shouted as one. The bystanders cheered as two rainbow trails sped off into the horizon.

There was scarcely three feet between them as they ripped through the sky. Neither gained any distance that was not won back in mere seconds.

Come on! Why is he so good at this?

Why is she so good at this?

The Pegasi decided to engage in a stunt contest amidst their race. They made tight turns around stray clouds and each threw in a loop for the hay of it. It almost seemed like a practiced routine to a bystander.

Money exchanged hooves back in Cloudsdale. Everypony wanted in on what would be called the Flight of the Century!

Soon, the racers were about half way to their goal. They could start to make out a few individual trees on the ground.

Alright, Blitz. Let’s see if you remember this one. Dash pumped her wings harder and picked up speed.

What’s she up to? Blitz thought. He mirrored her movements and they were again side by side. The air seemed to push back at them. They grunted with effort and pushed forward.

Come on! Come on! The barrier before them narrowed into a cone.

What the hay is going on?! Blitz panicked and pushed harder.

Almost…

The air that once threatened to repel the racing Pegasi seemed to just give up the fight. It released a deafening crack, as if screaming in frustration. Ponyville was graced with an encore from that afternoon. Ponies could look to the sky to find a thick rainbow ring with twin trails flying towards them.

“What is it?” said one in awe.

“Oh my gosh! It’s a double raimb-“another almost replied when she heard a growing yell.

“yaaaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH,” a black blur collided with the interrupted pony. She found herself sprawled on the ground in a cloud of dust. Through it shot a two-toed foot that stopped centimeters from her snout. The dust cleared to reveal a large bird with a long neck staring angrily at her.

“We are NOT, you hear me, NOT making THAT reference. Got it?”

“B-but it’s a double-“she stammered.

“NO! It’s not! Shut up!” The bird yelled.

“Ok! Ok! I’m sorry! Don’t hurt me!” the pony threw up her hooves to protect her face from the insane bird.

“Good.” The bird hastily sped off into the forest. The pony stared incredulously at the shrinking figure.

“What the hay was that?!” (Oh yes. That just happened.)

Back in the sky, two Pegasi had just broken the sound barrier and were now very close to their goal. A single cloud hung over their target barn. It was wordlessly agreed that the cloud would be their finish line.

We’ll burst right through it if we don’t slow down…

…But I can’t slow down, or else she’ll win!

Fortunately, the racers opted to simply reach the cloud, as opposed to destroy it. Moments before impact, they twisted their bodies to hit the plush cloud with their backs. And everypony knows what happens when you hit a cloud.

Fire works went off in Cloudsdale’s suburbs. Toasts were shared in the bars, friendships were strengthened, and relationships were re-kindled, thanks to the dramatic display by the two mysterious Rainbow Racers...

...Okay. So, nopony cared that much. They sort of just stopped and looked for a little bit. But still...

The two new quasi-celebrities were still recovering from their crash. They had knocked the top half of the cloud clean off, making a convenient platform for them to flop down on. Their heads faced the sky, allowing them to see the single lingering lightning bolt shooting up from the cloud. Had there been any difference in their times, two bolts would be floating above them. However, it seemed the Flight of the Century was a tie!

Dash rolled onto her stomach, panting. “That was… “

“…so awesome” Blitz finished, also struggling to catch his breath.

They rested there for several minutes regaining control over their limp limbs. Dash found herself questioning her abilities for a moment. Her skill had never been matched like that before. But, those thoughts were quickly discarded.

He’s a clone of ME. I’m still the fastest. Just, so is he…

She glanced up at the now fading product of their race. She closed her eyes, smiling. I can live with that.

Something was rustling her mane. She dismissed it as being the wind and set her head back on the soft cloud, instinctively rubbing her cheek against it to get comfortable. Except it didn’t feel much like a cloud…

Blitz was lying on his back, resting his head on his left hoof. It’s kind of nice here. I got a job, met a few ponies, and I didn’t blow up yet! He moved his right hoof to his stomach, except it met an obstacle. Curious, he ran his hoof up and down the object, trying to figure out what it was without having to lift his head. Then he felt something against his chest…

Their eyes burst open. Blitz jerked his head up to find Rainbow Dash’s barely half a foot from his face.

Ohmigosh Ohmigosh Ohmigosh! I’m petting her mane!

Ohmigosh Ohmigosh Ohmigosh! I’m lying on top of him!

She’s lying on top of me!

He’s petting my mane!

Ohmigosh!

Ohmigosh!

Every siren in their head was going off. Every mental loudspeaker screamed “Abort! Abort!” However, they could not bring themselves to move. Color rushed to their faces and, had there been any strength in their wings, they certainly would have unfurled.

The Pegasi simply lied there for a few moments that would have felt awkward had either been able feel anything.

Dash’s brain was the first to recover her wits from the surprise cuddling. She observed that Blitz’s head had fallen back onto the cloud, yet his face remained red and shocked. His hoof still ran through her mane (Brushie brushie~).

How did this happen? Dash thought. We crashed into the cloud, sat there, then I-
She stopped her train of thought as she recalled the preceding events. I rolled onto him…Foal of a-

She allowed her head to relax again. Whatever. I’m not embarrassed. It’s not like I meant to or anything. She twisted her body to place her back against Blitz and her hooves behind her head to emphasize just how nonchalant she wanted to seem. I could care less.

Blitz watched his counterpart adjust her position, not daring to change his until the movement stopped. His hoof came to rest on her stomach. He gulped and suppressed the urge to shake. Ok, whatever. She’s just chilling out on top of me. No big deal. I’ll just…Uhh… He brought his left hoof down to lock with his other until his forelegs wrapped around Dash. Alright…? Now what?

Their bodies radiated comfortable warmth that made it difficult for them to remain awake. Their pounding hearts dealt with this problem quite nicely. Despite their supposed apathy, both Pegasi sported a crimson hue on their faces that would have gone well with the oranges and yellows of the now setting sun. They may have spent the night in that position had nothing jerked them out of their embrace.

A powerful snap sounded below them, activating the ponies’ instincts to tense up. However, in their position, this only brought them closer. This, in turn, activated another less rational instinct.

They yelped and rolled to opposite sides of the cloud, pretending to be much more interested in the sound than in discussing the meaning of their snuggling. Dash poked her head out over the forest and spotted an orange earth pony standing over a fallen tree.

“It was just a tree” Dash reported, stepping away from the cloud’s edge.

“Oh, ok,” Blitz replied as he turned to her. Neither would meet the other’s eyes.

“Rainbow!” came a voice under them. “What are ya doin’ up there? A bit late for a nap, don’t ya think?”

Dash glanced behind her, then back at her clone. “Hey Blitz, wanna go mess with Applejack?”

Blitz grinned and then shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

…

Ah swear, that Pegasus is lazy as all get out, thought Applejack. How’s she call herself an athlete if she’s got to go right to sleep after doing anything?

A pony launched from the cloud above the barn and streaked off to Ponyville. Applejack pouted as she watched it speed away. “Where do ya’ll think you’re goin’ Rainbow? Ah’ was talkin’ to you!”

A hoof poked her in the shoulder. “Uh, who are you talking to?”

Applejack’s head jerked to the source of the poke. Next to her stood Rainbow Dash, trying and failing to hold back her giggles. Applejack recoiled at the sight and fell back onto her rump. She scanned the sky, but could not find what she thought was Rainbow Dash.

“How’d ya’ll do that?” said Applejack with awe on her face. “You’re fast, but you’re not that fast.”

Dash brought a hoof to her chest, pretending to be offended. “Not that fast? Me? Do you know who you’re talking to?” She flapped her wings and crouched low to the ground. “Watch this!” Dash then proceeded to bolt off into the forest. The moment she was no longer visible, two blue hooves covered Applejack’s eyes.

Applejack was somewhat surprised. Dash had clearly gone in the other direction, yet she ended up behind the earth pony. Muffled snickers came from behind her. “Alright, I get it. You’re fast. Mind gettin’ yer hooves off my face?” She pulled the hooves off her eyes to find Dash sitting several feet in front of her, waving. Applejack frowned, still holding the hooves of whoever was behind her.

Applejack turned slowly and found another cyan Pegasus with a rainbow mane hovering above her head. She then recoiled again, this time backing into a tree and falling forward on her stomach.

The Pegasi walked over to her, laughing loudly. “Ok,” said Blitz, “that was hilarious!” He offered Applejack a hoof. She blew a strand of hair off her face and pulled herself up. She examined the colt cautiously.

“Uh, Rainbow? Who’s this?”

Blitz heard Twilight's warning echo through his head. "Oh, I just got transferred here from, uh, Cloudsdale. I'm Rrr-" His head shot around for ideas. Alas, there was nothing but apple trees in sight. "I'm Red Gale. Yeah. Red Gale."

Both mares shared a glance. "Alright," said Applejack. "But who is he really?"

"How did you-" Blitz tried to question her before Dash covered his mouth.

"This,” Dash said, “is Rainbow Blitz. Rarity made him for me.”

Applejack stared at her, expecting an explanation. “She ‘made’ him, Sugarcube?”

“Mhm. Turns out you can clone ponies,” she nudged Blitz’s shoulder, “and they don’t even blow up! Isn’t that right, Blitz?” She started to laugh. Blitz said nothing and simply stared at Applejack, wide-eyed. Applejack tilted her head.

“Eh, Dash? Ah think yer clone is broken.” Applejack walked up to him and waved a hoof in front of his face. His gaze was still locked where Applejack was standing before.

After a few quiet moments, he fell to the ground, clutching his head. Both mares waited for him to say something. Finally, he sighed and said, “Ow.”

Dash patted his back with a smirk. “Chin up, Blitzy. Now you know all about AJ here. Like how you aren't going to get past her with a half-flanked story like that.”

Applejack had had about enough of these shenanigans. Nopony was explaining anything. “Would somepony please tell me what the hay is goin’ on here?”

The Pegasi gathered themselves and walked with Applejack to her main barn. They explained everything they knew about cloning and what they had done over the course of the day.

“So we were booking it to Ponyville,” Blitz said, “and there was like this much space between us.”

“Then, I started to pour on some extra speed,” Dash continued, “to pull off my sonic rainboom, right? And this guy? He just copies my moves!”

“Eeyup!” Blitz added, sporting Dash’s knowledge of the Apple family. “Then we crashed into that cloud back there at the speed of sound and made that huge lightning bolt!” He gestured with his hooves as if to convey a large explosion. “It was awesome! Did you see it?”

Applejack nodded her head slightly. “Yes Blitz. I saw it. I was there. Anyway, what were ya’ll doin’ up there for so long?”
The Pegasi averted their eyes and let out a simultaneous “Uh…”

Applejack smiled and shook her head. “Never mind. T’aint none o’ my business what you two are up to on cloud nine there.”

“N-no!” Dash stammered. “Nothing like that! We were just uh…” She trailed off.

Blitz picked up for her. “She ,uh, had to make sure I was ok. I saw the sonic rainboom and passed out from the memories.” His muzzle scrunched up and his eyes shot around the trees around them.

Applejack studied him for a moment, then turned to Dash and smirked. “Your boyfriend is cute when he lies.”

Rainbow Dash’s face turned almost as red as Blitz’s “Oh no no no. We’re not-“

“Now now,” Applejack interrupted, “no need to hide anything from me. I’m your friend, remember? And I guess I’m your friend too, Blitz.”

Alright, Blitz thought, Two friends. Super.

“I just gotta’ ask that you two control yourselves on my farm. I can’t have Applebloom comin’ up to me and askin’ why you two were wrestlin'.”

“Ugh!” Blitz grunted. “We weren’t doing anything!”

“Alright. Alright. Whatever you say, sugarcube.” Applejack still wore a smile that said “You two were gettin’ it on and ya’ll are hilarious when you tell me otherwise”.

The ponies soon approached Applejack’s door. “Well, it sounds like ya’ll have been through a lot today. You two wanna come in for a spell? Nothin’ helps me unwind like some nice cider. We might have a few pints in the cellar.”

Blitz licked his lips. “That sounds good to me. As long as I don’t need to remember anypony else today.”

Applejack nodded and pushed open the door. It swung to reveal the barrel of a cannon with the fuse behind it burning fast.

She dove to the side, leaving Blitz enough time to yelp before being engulfed with confetti.

…

For being decorated by an artillery piece, Applejack’s barn looked quite festive. Several pastries sat on embellished tables along with a massive bowl of punch. The tables made great obstacles for a pink earth pony to hide behind while being chased around the room by Applejack.

“Pinkie Pie!” Applejack shouted as she grabbed a tray of baked goods, ready to pelt them at her. “What did ya’ll do to my barn!?”

The pink pony giggled and ducked under a thrown cupcake. “What does it look like, silly? I’m throwing a party for Blitzy!”

Dash, who was busy dragging in her unconscious clone, turned her head to Pinkie. “How did you know about my clone?”

Pinkie ducked under a table and reappeared beside Dash. “Come on, Rainbow. Did you really think a new pony in town could hide from my Pinkie Sense?” She grabbed one of Blitz’s forelegs and helped set him down on a haystack. She then caught Applejack’s next cupcake in her hoof without looking and shook it in front of Blitz’s nose.

“Come on, Blitzy! You can’t fall asleep at your own party! Unless it’s a sleepover. You should probably go asleep during sleepovers. But nopony ever does, it’s no fun to just go to sleep! You just stay up all night and then sleep the next morning when the party’s over. But the party’s not over yet, Blitzy! So you’ve got to wake up!”

Rainbow Dash managed to control her laughter as Pinkie babbled and smeared icing all over Blitz’s face. “Alright, Pinkie. That’s enough. He’ll wake up soon. If I were you, I’d be more worried about Applejack right now.”

Pinkie tilted her head. “Why would I be worried about Applejack? She wouldn’t do anything with Fluttershy standing over there.”

Dash and Applejack became puzzled and searched the room. Sure enough, a butter-colored Pegasus hiding behind a pink mane sat in the corner, brushing her front hoof on the floor and trying to blend in with the wood. It was kind of hard, being bright yellow and all.

Applejack smiled sheepishly mid-toss and set the plate of cupcakes down. “Eh, sorry about that Fluttershy. I know you don’t like fightin’ and all.”

“No. I understand. We did break into your barn-“

Pinkie appeared beside her, wrapping an arm around her neck. “To throw the bestest, coziest welcome to Ponyville/birthday party ever!”

“I guess that’s the new pony, then?” Fluttershy motioned to the sleeping colt.

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah. This is Rainbow Blitz, my clone.”

“Clone?” Fluttershy said, confused (Yes. Confluttershy. Haha).

Dash sighed. “Hey Pinky? Are Twilight and Rarity coming?” The pink pony nodded enthusiastically. “Good, I don’t feel like going over this again.” She turned to Fluttershy. “They’ll be able to explain better than I can.”

…

This time, Blitz hadn’t passed out from recollection. He was knocked unconscious from the force of a cannon going off at point blank range, so it was much better. Having actually fallen asleep this time (Well, sort of.), he was finally given control of his thoughts. After working through the pain of concussive force to the face, he calmly assessed his situation.

What in the name of sweet Celestia’s sister’s solar salvation was that!? Am I dead!? Blitz looked back on the last thing he remembered, and vaguely recalled seeing a poofy pink mane (We’re gonna go with the definition of “poofy” that does not involve sexual preference, alright? Cool) behind the barrel.

Alright, who do I know that has a mane like that? His sleeping mind showed him images of a brightly colored earth pony doing various things that Rainbow Dash had apparently found hilarious.

“Pinky Pie, you are so random!” he heard his body say in a blurry dream.

Ok, Pinkie Pie. Ponyville’s party pony and prankster. Got it. The dream dispersed. What else have you got for me, now that I’m here? he thought to nopony in particular.

As if on cue, a soft voice echoed through his mind. “Oh, I hope he’s ok. Maybe I should go get my first aid kit.”

Oh gee, ya think? I’m probably bleeding all over the place and this pony thinks I need first aid.

Now, any mind with memories of this particular pony would be pretty ticked off to hear anypony say such things about her. So it flooded Blitz’s functioning senses with everything it knew about her. Her soothing voice, her timid and kind personality…

Well now I feel bad. Fluttershy is one Dash’s oldest friends.

...the Stare…

What have I done?!

After some unconscious freaking out, Blitz got a hold of himself and when back to his recalling, seeing as he could do it now without too much pain. Although, that could simply be due to the distracting throbbing of his concussion.

Alright, let’s try the unicorn. Twilight, I think?

His mind’s eye was only met with a swirl of purple sparks and a book.

Well that’s a letdo-

And then the image exploded into an angelic forest landscape with a big black and blue alicorn, some weird pony-dragon-bird-thing that his mind identified as “Discord”, and some 50 changelings lying unconscious on the ground. The purple unicorn stood triumphantly on a hill looking over them. She seemed to be taking notes.

Alright, Twilight: sometimes a badflank. So, who else is there to know? That first pony I saw when I was born. Made? Whatever. Rarity was her name. Got anything on her?

If Blitz’s mind could shrug, it would have. It threw some pictures of the dresses Rarity had made for Dash, and Blitz began to feel grateful. However, it then allowed him access to all the time Dash had spent standing still wearing the stupidest of hats and gowns while Rarity went about her sewing.

Awesome, now I’m bored. Maybe I can wake up soon? Blitz reached out to his senses, trying to come to. He noticed a gooey substance on his nose. Curious, he attempted to smell it and heard himself breathe for the first time since he was knocked out.

“He’s waking up! Blitzy’s waking up!” an energetic voice cried out.

Control yourself Blitz, he thought to himself. You aren’t allowed to hit mares. Pinkie probably didn’t even mean to knock you out.

“Pinkie, why are you calling him that?” asked a raspy voice through what sounded like a mouth full of food.

“I dunno. You do it.”

“No I don’t! How would you even know?”

A southern drawl chimed in. “Eh, sugar cube? Yeah you do.”

“No I don’t! Wipe that look off your face!” Snickers and sounds of a struggle came from a few feet away. Blitz gradually began to feel a hoof brushing the side of his head.

“Um, hello?” This voice was probably the quietest and shyest voice anypony could imagine. “I’m sorry, but you’ve been asleep for almost a half hour and I need to make sure you know your name and everything. If that’s ok with you, I mean…” she trailed off.

Her soothing voice and gentle touch were probably the worst things to use when waking somepony up. But, Blitz wasn’t about to disagree with the voice.

“F-Fluttershy?” Blitz choked out with his eyes flickering open.

“Oh dear. That’s not your name. You might have a severe head injury. We need to get you to the hospital and-“

“I know who I am. I was asking who you are.” He lifted his head and saw a buttery Pegasus with a stethoscope around her neck.

“Oh. Well, yes. I am Fluttershy. How did you know? Twilight said you had to see a pony to get memories of them.”

“Well I guess Twilight doesn’t know everything about clones, then.” He winced as he felt around for a bruise on his head. “I had a talk with my brain and got some information on all of you. Apparently Dash thinks you are a very nice pony. Also, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Fluttershy cocked her head to the side. “For what?”

“Nothing!” He looked around the room to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash fighting on the floor. Twilight and Rarity were standing around a table, watching the spectacle and talking. Pinkie was trotting around the room, checking on everypony all too frequently.

Blitz sighed and got to his hooves slowly, despite doctor Fluttershy’s protests. “I’ll be fine.” He then licked the crusted frosting off his face. “I also need to eat a few of those.” He cantered over to the wrestling ponies and cleared his throat.

The mares noticed him and pushed off of each other (Applejack was totally winning). “Hey there, sleepy-head. Feelin’ alright?” The party’s evident host adjusted her hat and noticed something on the colt’s face. “Oh boy. You got yourself quite the lump there. Does it hurt?”

Dash started to push her out of the way. “Let me see. Where?”

Applejack pointed with her foreleg. “Right there, see? On his forehead.”

“No, I can’t see. You’re covering it.”

“It’s right there.”

"Move your hoof!"

The colt took a step back. “Now now, fillies. There’s plenty of me to go around” he said with a grin. Then he quickly turned his eyes on the floor to inspect his hooves.

Why did I just say that?

The mares separated and looked at him. Applejack gave Blitz the look mares give stallions when they say something stupid or chauvinistic. Dash, however, blushed and turned her head, mirroring the stallion.

Applejack laughed at their expressions. “Come on, you two. We’re on my barn, remember? Control yourselves.”

Two unicorns watched the cyan Pegasi as they voiced their disapproval. Each carried with them a small bag around their necks. Twilight was babbling on about the magic and biology involved in cloning and Rarity was unable to pretend to care about that for much longer.

“Twilight, that’s very interesting and I’m sure you’ve done some extensive research, but will you please answer my question?”

The purple pony shifted uncomfortably. She had been trying to delay this particular topic, but she wasn’t about to lie to a friend. She was sure there was a friendship report that advised against that.

“Well, I guess I would be able to do the spell on somepony. I’ve read the notes the book gave you and it wouldn’t be the hardest spell I’ve done. I actually tried it a few times when they left the library.” She floated two shiny cylinders out of her bags and placed them on the table. Each had a faint letter engraved on each end. “N” on one side and “S” on the other.

Rarity examined them. They appeared to be exactly the same. “These are duplicates?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. They are functionally the same in almost every way. It would probably be impossible to create an exact replica. Something is bound to set them apart. In this case, there isn’t much to mess up.”

Rarity rubbed her chin. “How close will Rainbow Dash and Blitz be?”

“Like I said, they won’t be exactly the same. It also depends on the focus and ability of the magician. Since you weren’t really focusing on cloning a pony, they probably won’t be too close. You’re probably not in practice when it comes to difficult magic like that too. N-not that you aren’t talented or anything! It’s just that this is complicated stuff. I would imagine that the majority of their similarities are in their appearance and behavior. Ponies are a little more complicated than these little cylinders. I would guess that distant cousins would be closer than them, genetically.”

The two cylinders started to roll towards each other on the flat table. When they met, they snapped onto each other with the “N” end touching the “S”. Rarity appeared perplexed.

“How are they doing that? Are they magnetic?”

“Well, yes. But they behave very strangely. They seem to stick together regardless of the sides of the magnet that are touching.” Twilight floated them in the air and twisted them around. They snapped again, this time with both N’s in contact. “It seems there is some sort of force acting between them that is at least equal to the electromagnetic force.”

The white unicorn frowned in thought. She wasn’t really an intellectual, but the science involved was simple enough for her to understand. “That’s very odd.” Her eyes came to rest on the other duplicates in the room. They surrounded a plate of brownies and were in the process of stuffing them into their mouths. “What do you suppose this means for them.”

Twilight started to rub the back of her neck. “They could have an actual attraction to each other like a magnet would, or it could be more…symbolic.”

“Symbolic, Twilight?”

“Yes. It’s sort of like how hexes and whatnot work. You stick a pin in a doll’s head and the pony it represents can’t think straight. Magic reacts slightly differently to ponies than it does to objects. So here, they might be attracted to one another, or be, you know, attracted to one another.” The student blushed at her words. It was one of the few subjects she preferred not to read about.

“How attracted will they be?”

“Well, these things are pretty easy to pull apart.” She tested the cylinders again. They came apart without too much effort. “It might not be all that strong with them, but I don’t know if it’s the same with everypony. The Attraction might be enough to push them together.”

Rarity smiled and laughed quietly. “Good for them, then!”

Twilight stared, almost disgusted, at her cheery friend. “Good? They had no say in the matter. What if they’re not happy? What if it pushes them to be together even if they don’t want to?”

The Pegasi in question were by an array of cups filled with punch. They both reached for the same cup and brushed their noses together. They promptly jerked back and looked at each other for a moment and then searched the room to see if anyone had seen.

Rarity had, but had turned back to Twilight before they could notice. “I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that. On a side note, would it really be such a bad thing to have a pony picked out for you? Celestia knows I’ve made some –eh- questionable choices on that topic in the past. And I can think of a few ponies in this room that don’t get out quite enough to be meeting ponies.” Her eyes came to rest on the unicorn before her, who turned her head with a “Hmph!” Rarity suppressed a snicker. She was having all too much fun pushing everypony’s buttons today. “Anyway, the feeling is mutual, right?”

“Well, yeah. But…” Twilight couldn’t really think of anything to say. The ponies in her stories that made love potions had always been the bad guys. She never really had to apply any thought as to why.

“Then they’re both happy!” Rarity declared triumphantly. Twilight pouted.

“It’s still not right,” she said, slumping down and folding her forelegs. Maybe she wasn’t thinking of-

“Mhm. So when should we all come over?” Rarity asked casually.

Foal of a- Ugh. Ok, just act oblivious. “Come over? For what?” Twilight inquired.

“Why, for cloning the rest of us of course! Come now, Twilight. I know you’re smarter than that.”

“No!” she shouted too quickly, earning a few looks from the rest of her friends. She shrunk down to partially hide behind the table and continued in a low whisper. “I mean, why would you want to do that? Moreover, why do you think they would want to do that? That’s just so…” She fumbled for the right word.

Rarity moved to her side. “Well I certainly can’t do it. Anyway, we’ll discuss this later. Right now, we need to join the party. And I still need to properly welcome our guest.”

The unicorns migrated across the room to join the other five near the food. With little room to dance, the ponies resorted to gorging themselves with baked goods (Much better than dancing, in my opinion). Dash and Blitz were in the middle of telling Pinkie and Fluttershy about their race. Pinky listened in awe that may or may not have been faked to their exaggerated summary. Rarity interrupted Blitz as he was emphasizing just how awesome it was.

“Rainbow Blitz, darling. How are you?”

He turned to her. “Oh, hey. I’m fine, thanks. You wanna’ hear about this stunt Dash and I pulled?”

“Uh, perhaps later. Right now, I’ve got some business to take care of.”

“Business?”

“Yes. You see, I was cleaning up my destroyed shop…” she looked at Dash.

“I tried to help clean up!” she retorted. Rarity ignored her and moved on.

“…when I had the most horrid of realizations!”

Blitz’s eyes grew wide and everypony else leaned in to listen. Alright. Here it comes. “Blitz, you will blow up in 2 hours”.

“You haven’t a single thing to wear!”

The collective sound of sighs and rolling eyes was quite overwhelming. Some wanted to hug somepony for giving no bad news, but others wanted to strangle somepony for being melodramatic.

Blitz released a breath that he may very well have been holding all day and wiped some sweat off his forehead. “Please. Do not do that. Ever again.”

Rarity laughed. “You’re no fun at all. Anyway, I didn’t quite have the time or the resources to fashion a dignified garment for you. However, I managed to pick up something I’m sure you’ll enjoy.” Her horn glowed and a small rectangular box floated from her bag.

“Aw, you didn’t have to get me anything” he said, snatching it from the air too eagerly to match his words. He carefully tilted the lid to peek inside. Bright light streaked out under it and his face took on a look of awe that one would associate with opening the ark of the coltvenant (Get it? Colt-venant? Am I good or what?).

“It’s…” Blitz started.

Pinkie began to jump in place. “Ooooh! What is it! What is it!”

“It’s…” he said again.

“C’mon!” Dash said. “Take it out!”

“It’s…”

“Consarnit, Blitz!” Applejack snapped, tapping a hoof on the table. “Open the dang box!”

He slowly dropped the box onto the ground under the table, placing his face right behind it. His hooves reached inside and brought the box’s contents to his eyes. After a nice dramatic pause, Blitz’s head emerged, sporting a pair of sleek black sunglasses.

“It’s awesome!” he exclaimed, practically shaking with glee. Everypony else laughed at his foalish excitement. “Thank you so much, Rarity!”

Rarity dismissed the praise smugly with a wave of her hoof. “No problem at all, Blitz. Although, we should really get you fitted for a suit. I’m thinking something white with a striped tie. Maybe some blue cufflinks and a hoofkerchief…” She trailed off.

“Wait!” Dash shouted, fumbling with the invisible pocket cartoons have. “I have an idea!” She pulled the famous Dash Shades out of hammerspace and placed them over her eyes. She took a seat next to her clone and raised her glasses just above her eyes with the most intense of casual nods. Blitz quickly did the same, turning slightly in the other direction.

(Attention, internet. Maximum "Swag" has been achieved. Carry on.)

Pinkie managed to snap a picture of the coolest moment in history with her camera before both Pegasi cracked up laughing.

Blitz threw a friendly foreleg around Dash and they posed for a few more pictures before continuing the party.

…

The party had begun to die down, much to the disappointment of a certain pink pony. Unfortunately, not all ponies are granted infinite energy and enthusiasm. The Rainbow Pegasi congregated by the door with the rest of the guests as Twilight droned on about magic and cloning.

“From the looks of things, it seems like you’ll be able to remember things a bit easier when you’re asleep. You’ve got information on all of us now, right?”

“Uh huh,” Mumbled Blitz with undisguised apathy.

“If somepony were to stimulate your memory while you slept, you might get all of your knowledge back without too many headaches.”

“Great” he replied, his eyelids beginning to fall. Dash could sense an air of boredom entering the room and decided it was time to get the buck out.

“Well Pinkie,” Dash began. “This has been great, but I think it’s time for me to head home.”

Blitz yawned. “Yeah, me too. I’m beat.”

“Where will you be staying, Blitz?” Fluttershy asked.

“I…uhh…” He glanced around at the eyes of everypony now looking on him with concern. Then he looked at Dash with a sheepish smile.

“Fine,” she groaned with mock annoyance. “I guess I can find space for you at my place.”

Applejack snorted. “Find space? Rainbow, your house is huge. Ya’ll wouldn’t even notice if a pack o’ buffalo set up camp in yer’ livin’ room.”

"They would just fall through the floor," Twilight commented.

"Y'all knew what ah' meant!"

Dash laughed. “It’s not huge! It’s just roomy. But sure, you can stay with me. I guess it’s kind of my responsibility since you’re me and all.”

Blitz smiled gratefully. “Thanks. I don’t think I would like being homeless.” They began to step out the door.

“Bye everypony.” Dash said behind her back.

“Yeah, thanks for everything.” Blitz said following her.

Rarity waved to them and sang, “Have fun, you two! Not too much fun, mind you. You just met today.” The door shut behind the blushing Pegasi and they took off with stiff wings into the night sky.

Twilight sighed. “Was that really necessary?

“Of course it was, dear.” Rarity replied.

“They can manage fine without you pushing them together.”

“I’m not the only thing pushing them together. Isn’t that right?”

The purple unicorn was about to talk back, but she noticed that the three others in the room were silently staring at her. “What? What is it?”

“N-nothin’” Applejack said. She bit her lip. “Dash sure is havin’ a nice time with her clone, ain’t she? Makes ya’ wonder what it’s like, ya’ know? Havin’ a-“ Twilight’s glower cut her off. The unicorn surveyed the room to find Fluttershy and Pinkie wearing guilty smiles of their own.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

Fluttershy took on a somewhat less than hopeful smile. “Well? Will you?”

“No.”

And then Pinkie was upon her (It’s not fair! It’s not right!). “Please?” she said, fluttering her eyelashes.

“No.”

“Pleeeeease?” Pinky squealed, leaning in closer.

“I said no!”

Pinky took a deep breath and made a third attempt. “Puh-leeeeeeeeee-“

Twilight stamped her hoof. “No! No no no! Nope. Not doing it. We can’t. I won’t. It’s wrong.”

Rarity brushed back her hair. “Well, I can’t manage all of us safely and I don’t see any other magically inclined unicorns around.”

“Nope. Sorry, can’t hear you. La la la la laaaaa~” Twilight sang obnoxiously as she trotted out the door.

Rarity sighed and looked to her dejected friends and their drooping ears. “Don’t worry, girls. We're more than capable of being persuasive. I'll talk to her."

…

“Woah. This place is huge.”

Our two Rainbow Pegasi approached the cloudy door of an immaculate white house made of, well, clouds. A stream of liquid ran through the elaborate swirly roof down to the base of the house where it trickled down to a drain in the ground. Luna had yet to master lighting rainbow liquid at night. Silver moonlight was all that lit up the hazardous stepping-clouds that made up the walk way. Sure, it was no problem for a Pegasus, but it made things somewhat difficult when having friends of a flightless species over for dinner. Oh well, Dash wasn’t the kind of pony to host guests in her home. Or, she wasn’t usually.

Dash plucked her key out of her portal to the fourth dimension and turned the lock.

“Yeah. Well, clouds are sort of cheap to produce. So I thought, why not?”

They stepped in to reveal a large, tall living room with all of three furnishings: a table, a couch, and a chaise lounge. All made of some type of cloud, albeit a tad fluffier than the walls. Boxes lining the floor gave the impression of having recently moved in. In truth, Dash just didn’t feel like decorating. Why put stuff on the walls if it was already more or less organized in the boxes? An archway led to a small kitchen and some stairs spiraled towards the upper level.

“We’ve got some furniture in here, a little kitchen over there,” Dash walked to the stairs, “and a bedroom and a bathroom up there. I’ve only got the one bed so…”

Wait, now he thinks I’m inviting him to sleep with me. Am I? Would that be weird?

Did she just- no. Couldn’t be.

A silence overtook the room as they debated with themselves.

Quick, Blitz, do something! Um…

Blitz waved a dismissing hoof a leapt onto the couch. He landed with his forelegs behind his head and his hind legs crossed. “Ah. No problem. This’ll do just fine.”

Smooth as buck.

While Blitz basked in all the comfort of a cloud couch and a dispersed awkward silence, a green dome with a propeller hovered overhead. Blitz stared incredulously. Suddenly, the dome’s propeller froze and the dome dropped onto Blitz’s stomach, knocking the air from his lungs.

When he inhaled enough to function again, he gasped, “Help! Dash! What is this thing!?”

She laughed and took a seat on the other end of the couch. “Aw come on. You don’t remember Tank?”

“Tank?” The dome sprouted a wrinkly head. It blinked with agonizing slowness and gazed into Blitz’s eyes.
He squinted, grimaced, and then covered his eyes.

“Oh” he mumbled through gritted teeth. “Tank.” His expression softened and he knocked on the turtle’s (Tortoise, damn it!) shell. “What’s up buddy? How are things?”

The tortoise blinked again and activated his propeller, ascending the stair case and disappearing down the hall.

“Cool. See ya later Tank.” He turned to Dash and scratched his head. “That was weird.”

“It’s not like he can answer you or anything. Tank’s pretty cool once you get to know him. He was probably just tired. Who knows where he's gotten to all day?”

“No. I mean, when I saw him, I got a nice little replay of your pet competition” he massaged his wing with memories of a very heavy boulder.

“Yeah…and?” She eyed him, confused.

“Why didn’t I get anything from seeing your own home?”

She shrugged. “Nothing all that important happened here, I guess. I don’t even come here every night. Sometimes I’ll just sleep outside closer to Ponyville since I work there, eat there, nap there, all of that.” She gestured to her furniture. “These are no different from the weather clouds.”

Blitz nodded. “Makes sense. You think I’m safe from any headaches while I’m here?”

“Unless I had a traumatic hoof-stubbing that I forgot about, you should be fine.” They laughed.

“Got it. Avoid lumpy cloud floors.”

The snickering continued. When they settled down, Blitz said, “So, what? You’re supposed to talk in my sleep or something?”

She shrugged again. “I don’t know. I can’t tell what Twilight’s saying half the time. Do you think you can manage not hearing my life story tonight?”

“I’ll live. I think I can remember stuff on my own anyway.”

“On your own? How’s that work?”

“I kind of have no idea. When Pinkie knocked me out, it was like I was talking to my brain. Or your brain. Whatever. I ask questions or give hints, and I get the memories.”

“Cool. I’m glad you didn’t tell Twilight that. She probably would have had you memorize a list of things to ask yourself. Or myself. Whatever.” They shared another laugh. Dash hopped of the couch

“Alright. Well, you know where everything is. We’ll get up at early for work. Or maybe not so early. We’ll see.” She flew up the stairs. At the top, she shouted down, “Goodnight!” and shut the lights.

“Goodnight!” he called back, however it didn’t seem quite loud enough to reach her in the dark. He rolled over on the couch and started going over the day. the things he did, the ponies he met, etc. Despite the colorful personalities Blitz got to experience throughout the day, one pony kept tackling his thoughts.

Everypony has a mocking inner self that mercilessly attacks our insecurities. Blitz’s saw it fit to speak up right then.

You like her, you know.

N-no I don’t. She’s just a lot like me. Or, I’m a lot like her. I don’t like her like that.

Dude, you totally do.

Shut up. How would you know?

…Dude? It’s you talking right now.

Shut up! I’m telling you I don’t!

Then why is it you keep thinking about her?

I’m supposed to get her memories so I don’t pass out all the time.

That was the lamest excuse you’ve ever heard.

What? Just because I’m thinking about her, I have to be madly in love with her.

I said “like”. Nopony ever said anything about love. Well, I didn’t at any rate.

S-shut up! I’m done with you. Goodnight.

As he effectively slammed a metaphorical door on his nosy inner self, he pulled one of the couch’s cushions over his head and waited for sleep.

...

Author's Note

Don't you worry about that part that made no sense. You know which one I'm talking about.

You're a Big Help

"Idle rainbows are the awesome's workshop."

Graphs

***

No major settlements existed beyond the great peak of Canterlot mountain. There was no real reason for one to be there unless there was some need for privacy. Most stays were temporary, seeing as living off the land takes far more effort than getting what you need from a polite yet greedy vendor in the market.

Ponies could go their whole lives without seeing the shorter, but by no means short, ridges on the side opposite to Canterlot. Those who had, however, would find meteorological phenomenon similar to the Everfree Forest. Clouds drifted lazily over the light forest below, all on their own.

Luckily for two cyan Pegasi, there was nopony there on this particular day. They found a decent sized cloud high above the dent in Equestria known as Canterlot Valley. The stallion eagerly shrugged off his saddlebag, which had nearly enough force to penetrate the cloud as it fell. The mare cantered over to the edge to survey their home for the next couple of days.

“This should be good,” Dash thought aloud. “There are enough clouds floating around for us to practice with.”

Blitz rolled his wings around uncomfortably, angrily eyeing the luggage that had made his flight over a mountain less than enjoyable. “We’re using clouds in the performance?”

“Uh yeah? Can you think of a flying competition that didn’t use clouds?”

“No,” he deadpanned. “I only remember one flying competition and I wasn’t even there for that one.”

“Well ponies use clouds in these things,” she said as she laid down on her stomach. “Now shut up and give me the scroll.”

Blitz grunted and rummaged through the pack. He emerged with a severely creased piece of paper and set it down next to Dash.

“And the quill,” she added, not moving to get it on her own.

Her clone rolled his eyes and retrieved the writing utensil. She sighed again as he dropped it on the paper.

“And the ink.”

“As you wish, your majesty,” Blitz muttered on his third walk to the bag. “You want me to go fetch a leaf to fan you with? How about a massage?”

The bottle of black liquid landed with a poof next to the mare. She grinned and uncapped the ink. “Nah. I’m good for now.” Dash proceeded to pick up the delicate feather in her teeth and steadied the tip between her hooves. She gently lowered it to wet the end.

Are you sure you don’t want that massage, Dashie?

Dash’s eyes popped wide open and she spat out the quill. In her shock, she nudged the ink off the cloud’s edge. She watched it fall, frozen in her inward conversation with her more lewd half.

Yes I’m sure!

Come on, the voice purred. Don’t you think he’s earned it?

I don’t want that!

Stop chewing you lip and think that again.

“Smooth,” droned Blitz sarcastically from behind her. He leaned over just in time to see a minute black splat on the ground. “What was that all about?”

Dash shook her head and pushed the paper off the edge too. “Nothing!”

Blitz raised an eyebrow at her suddenly nervous tone. “Weren’t we going to plan out our routine on that thing?”

Dash glanced at the slowly falling scroll rocking back and forth on its way down. “Uh, n-no. I mean, no! We don’t need that stupid thing. I already have it worked out anyway."

"Wait, I don't even get a say in how we're doing this?"

"Nope," Dash replied frankly. "Besides, that was the boring part. Now we get to fly."

Blitz considered his lack of a role in decision-making and decided he was okay with skipping the "boring part".

"Alright then," he said, flourishing his hoof toward the expanse of the valley beyond them. "Lead the way."

...

"But Twilight-"

"No buts," Twilight replied to her assistant, who sat atop a pile of homework one would expect from an evil college professor. "You need to learn these things. What if I ever need your help in an emergency?"

"Then I call the hospital like a normal pony," Spike grumbled.

"What if it's more urgent then that? What if I need immediate attention?"

"Oh please." The dragon threw up his arms. "What's going to happen to you while you're alone in the library? Are you going to get a paper cut through an artery?"

"It could happen! Quick, where is my carotid artery?"

Spike rolled his eyes and pointed to the center of the unicorn's neck. The dragon may not have been as erudite as Twilight, but a good year or two in a library can grant one a surprisingly large amount of knowledge. There were also the encyclopedias he had been forced to read through the day before.

"Because you mortally wound yourself in the library on a daily basis. How could I have forgotten?"

"Is that sarcasm? I guess I didn't assign enough work, then." She moved to collect more literature for him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him pout and return to his studies. A small stream of smoke flowed out of his nostrils and the air around them became blurry with heat. A satisfied smirk spread across her muzzle as she cantered up the stairs to her current project.

She had begun to prepare a magically secure safe to guard certain possessions that some ponies seemed to always find at the worst possible time. Some jewelry, some notes, her diary that was more about studies than her own thoughts, and maybe even a few books that needed to be hidden.

One such book was laid out upon her desk. It just so happened that some useful notes on protective spells were found within it. It also just so happened that she stumbled upon a familiar section in the book and got sidetracked. That section just so happened to be about duplication.

"I know I'm right. I shouldn't do it. I just shouldn't..." Twilight began mumbling to herself again. She may have come out of her discussions with Rarity as the winner, but they were by no means total victories. Her friends' longing had left quite the impression and a part of her mind remained devoted to arguing her stance even when nopony else was present.

"There's just...no need for it...right?"

Her eyes wandered to the folded up scroll she had left on the page. She couldn't live with researching just Rarity's haphazard knot of a spell. So the magician had developed, refined, and recorded her own. Far fewer risks and far less ambiguity. She went over the steps again in her head. Aside from fatigue, the spell itself was harmless.

After a second recalling of her work, she heard the sound of the door opening and returned to the main room. Sometimes she forgot that she actually did have a job to do.

"Oh Twiliiiiiight!" sang a high pitched voice from below.

The unicorn smiled and shook her head. Some happy enthusiasm was definitely what she needed right now.

"Yes Pinkie?" she said, hopping off the stairs. "Can I help you?"

The pink pony nodded her head rapidly. "Yup! Remember how three weeks, four days, and two hours ago we were walking outside and I was telling you about how I wanted to make something and you asked what and I said some kind of eclair and you asked what kind of eclair and I said I don't know I'll think about it?"

Twilight blinked as her train of thought caught up with miss motor mouth. "Uh, sure. Why not?"

"Well I thought of what kind of eclair I want to make and I need you to help!"

Twilight sighed and laughed slightly. "Okay, what kind of eclair?"

Pinkie searched for an answer. There were plenty of things in her head. There was even a replica of Ponyville. However, there was nothing filed under "Kind of Eclair".

"I don't know what to call it yet, but I'm going to put a bunch of sciency stuff in it and I know you're really good at sciency stuff so I need you to come and help me put sciency stuff in my eclairs."

A multitude of encounters like these taught Twilight to just stop asking when it came to some of Pinkie's schemes. For whatever reason, Pinkie's plans (Pinkie Plans, as she calls them) seem to always have some hidden logic in them. Logic that one would never find even if they spend a week cooped up in their basement studying them while their dragon keeps telling them silly things like "You should eat something" or "You should probably sleep at some point". The nerve.

"Alright, I'll come help you with your, eh, sciency stuff. Spike, you're on library duty while I'm gone. But if nopony shows up, you're on study duty. Got it?" She smiled as if this was an enjoyable task for a young dragon.

"Just go," he said. "At least I'll be able to focus on reading without you mumbling about how right you are. Seriously, are you writing a paper or something?"

Pinkie appeared over his shoulder, placing her head directly between Spike and his book. "And what are you studying mister grouchy pants?"

He leaned his head around the mare's massive mane without much concern. "Medicine. Twilight wants me to be a doctor by Monday."

"Ohh. Is it hard? Can I call you Doctor Spike now?" Her head remained well within his personal bubble.

He leaned back and looked at her with an overwhelmingly exasperated expression. Then it was gone, replaced by boredom and acceptance. "Sure. Go ahead."

"Yay! See ya Doctor Spike!" Pinkie hopped over to the doorway. "C'mon Twilight, we've got eclairs to titrate!"

"To what now?" she replied worriedly.

"To bake. Let's go!" She hit the street running. Twilight followed much more slowly and much more cautiously.

Spike heard somepony shout "For Eclairs!" before he was shut into the library.

"Insane," he muttered. "They're all insane."

...

The sky was shaking. Or maybe it was the ground. The point is that one of the two was shaking.

The valley hadn't seen quite as much action as one would expect from the supposedly chaotic land between populated areas. The clouds occasionally expelled some excess water. One might even muster some lightning once in a while. The wind was usually rather calm. Something must have been causing a disturbance.

Or two somethings.

"Let's go!" shouted one blur to another. They were circling a cluster of scattered clouds, gradually growing closer to the center. Their polychromatic trail became nearly solid in their wake. On the first blur's cue, they redoubled their efforts and flew in an even faster and smaller circle. The clouds kept shying away from the obscene wind, starting to expand upwards to avoid being vaporized even further.

"I got the top!" yelled the second blur (In all fairness, it may have been the first again. Who can tell at a high speed?). And so it did. The blur altered its course, turning at a right angle upward to orbit the clouds vertically. They halted their ascension, gathering back in a compact clump.

The clouds found themselves surrounded in effectively all directions, leaving them no choice but to gather at the center of the now crossing rainbow trails.

"And break!" said what was probably the first blur, cutting away from the deadly areal ambush. The second followed instantly, gliding straight upward to lose momentum.

Rainbow Dash angled her wings to directly oppose the air she was rudely pushing against. Sensing an opportunity, the air forced itself against her feathers, decelerating her significantly. A cloud rushed to meet her hooves, grasping them as well as a cloud could. She dipped one wing into the makeshift landing pad to turn around while skidding to a stop.

She whipped her head skyward, breathing heavily through a ferocious grin. Silhouetted against the beaming sun, a cirrus cloud drifted down to her with a blue head sticking over the top.

"What's the matter?" Dash taunted. "Forget which way to scatter?"

"Nah," Blitz replied with the same tone. "Just felt like something to cool off." With that, he collapsed onto his back just as his cloud collided with his partner's.

Dash ran a hoof through her sweaty mane. "Ooh. Sounds good to me." She hopped across to the cooler cloud and buried her face into it. The frosty sensation was a welcome shock to the mare. She settled into it to disperse more of the heat her body was scrambling to get rid of.

They laid there in contented silence, with their target clouds still huddled tightly together.

"So after that we smash into it, right?" Blitz inquired when he caught his breath.

Dash drew her head from the chilly relief, blowing some hair from her eyes. "Mhm. Then we do it again. Think you can handle it?" Dash challenged.

The stallion bared his teeth. "Do you even need to ask?" They broke into laughs and hoof-bumps. "This is gonna be sweet!"

"Oh yeah. C'mon. Let's keep it up!"

They rolled their wings around, causing satisfying, yet probably unhealthy, cracks. The pegasi approached the edge of the cloud, wings flared.

"On three?" Blitz asked.

"Why wait?" Dash answered.

They shot off into the terrified clump of clouds.

...

It should not have been possible to be covered in icing already. They hadn't even made the icing. Yet here it was, drying onto Twilight's mane and coat. It was also drying on the kitchen walls. She probably would have felt uncomfortable if there was time to acknowledge anything at all.

"Pinkie! Slow down! I can't do this as fast as you!" Another bowl of batter was hurled in her direction. She halted the bowl with her magic, forgetting that the batter was in motion as well and would most likely remain in motion. It splatted into her face.

"We can't slow down, Twilight! Eclairs are best if served immediately after baking. So if we serve them quicker than immediately, they'll be even better!" Pinkie turned the dial on her mixer to the skull icon and punched a large red button on the side.

The unicorn lit her horn and her confectionery mask was lifted off her head and back into the bowl. "That's not how it works!" she said, rubbing her now tingling cheek.

"Hey Twilight?" said Pinkie under her chef's hat. "What was the molrarity of that stuff you made?"

"Molarity," Twilight corrected. "It was about 2. Very dangerous, but you diluted it. You diluted it, right?"

"Well I only wanted to make a quarter batch, so I only used a little milk in that one. Is that going to change anything?"

"Yes. It won't be as..." Twilight began. Then her eyes widened and she dashed to the sink.

"OW OW OW OW OW!"

The water alleviated her pain all too slowly. She shook her head rapidly to wash all of her face. Her school experience screamed that this was by no means the proper procedure for an acid spill. Her face, however, said it would do.

Pinkie shut off her industrial mixer and walked over to the unicorn in the sink. "Hey, it's not bath time yet, silly."

Twilight took her time washing before lifting her drenched head to the baker. Small patches of skin were exposed through burned away hair. "That was extremely dangerous! You can't go throwing that stuff around! Why did you even want that in your eclairs?"

Pinkie tilted her head as if it was a silly question from the silly mare with the silly acid burns. "Well, I was reading that some dragons have trouble digesting rocks and gems and all, so I thought I would experiment with some desserts that could help it all go down easier. I wanted to bring Spike over too, but you sent him off to medical school." She wiped a small tear from her eye. "I miss him already..."

Twilight watched incredulously as her friend wept over missing someone not a kilometer away. She gave the messy room one more glance and decided she should leave before whatever illegal machinery Pinkie bought off the black market decided to blow Sugarcube Corner to kingdom come.

A ding broke Pinkie's thoughts, stopping the tears. "Oooh! They're ready! Come on Twilight! You need to taste them with me!"

Twilight forced a smile through her terror. "A-actually, I need to go to the... uh... um... I'm on a diet. I can't. Sorry. Bye."

Pinkie grimaced, sticking out her tongue. "Ew, diet. Oh well. Thanks for your help Twi! I'll take it from here."

"Heh heh, yeah. You too," she dismissed, backing out of the building and shutting the door. A few steps later, she broke into a gallop away from her friend's death kitchen.

She felt bad for leaving such a mess, sure. However, survival instincts had a habit of taking over in this type of situation. All she could think of now was getting herself cleaned up. There were also her itching burns to tend to.

About two minutes away from Pinkie, her librarian's stamina kicked in. She slowed to a plodding walk, still a ways from her home.

"That's a new look. Ah'll never understand fashion mahself. Ain't no way I'd be walkin' round like that. But, if that's what's in style, who am ah to judge?"

Had the drawl not been enough to identify the speaker, Twilight's frayed nerves and expanded magic senses would have told her it was Applejack sending good-humored jibes her way. She blew a strand of crusty hair out of her eyes and eyed the farmer. She wore her stetson, as always, and the way she held herself showed that she had probably been exerting herself as well.

However, having actually done work most of her life, Applejack could pull off that look.

"You don't like it? It's the newest thing." Twilight turned her body like a model, showcasing the extent of her new look.

The earth pony chuckled, shaking her head. "Ah'll have to take yer' word for it. Anyway, what have you, eh... been up to?"

Twilight began to speak, but instead pointed her hoof to a column of smoke rising from the part of town she had just left. Applejack frowned.

"Pinkie?" she asked.

"Pinkie," the unicorn agreed.

Applejack could only shake her head. No more questions needed to be asked. At least, none about that.

"Well ah was on mah way to ask ya somethin, but it looks like ya'll have had enough for today."

Twilight brightened at that. Although it was true that she could use some rest, she could use some company that made sense a bit more.

"Please. I've been through worse. What can I do for you?"

"Well, it's just that the apples have been hangin' on today. They ain't comin' down. Ah can't figure out why. Just wanted to ask ya to help me get em' off, or at least find out what's happenin."

"Of course I'll help!" The unicorn exclaimed. She could aid her friend, and do a little plant research in the process. "But, first, could I borrow your water spout. It's starting to get a little hard to move."

Applejack smiled gratefully. "Sure thing, Twi. Let's go." She motioned behind her and they both set off to the fields.

...

The air was unusually hot. Must have been something about being torn to pieces repeatedly. What a wuss.

Two pegasi looked out from one of the few remaining clouds at what had been their playground, the intricacies of the first portions of their performance burned into their heads. They breathed heavily with the happy exhaustion that can only come from way too much exercise. Their wings were flared, comfortably for once, at their sides against the falling sun.

"Ha! Are we awesome or what?" asked Blitz, reaching out with his wing for a high flap.

Dash obliged him, slapping her wing against his. "Psh. As if you even needed to say it."

"What? I can't complement a pony? We looked great out there. You looked great out there."

The mare grinned. "I'm not gonna argue with that. But I still couldn't have done most of that alone. You're a big help."

"Thanks." They both inhaled deeply and evened out their breathing. There wasn't a sound other than the wind and the rumbling of two stomachs.

"Hey Blitz?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we skipped lunch."

They took one look at each other before trotting off to where they left their bags. Blitz lifted a flap and stuck his head in.

"What have we got?" Dash asked, having fallen to her side.

"You name it," Blitz said, muffled through the tough fabric. "I hope you like apples." He emerged first with a sack of apples, then a container of applesauce, and then several bottles of apple juice, all of which should not have fit in the bags.

"I think I would eat anything right now." She twisted off the cap of one bottle and drank the sweet liquid greedily. She had had nothing but stale cloud water for hours. This tasted like divine nectar.

Blitz was already on his third apple. He passed her the sack while she hoofed over a bottle. After an acceptable amount of stuffing their faces, they finally collapsed back from their makeshift dinner table. The rumbling of the stomachs had been replaced with moans of satisfaction and mild regret.

"I don't think I'm hungry anym-" Blitz's cheeks puffed out mid-sentence, trying to contain what was attempting to exit his mouth. It was a losing battle, though. His lips parted and a thundering belch echoed through the otherwise picturesque landscape.

There was a long pause. The wind hesitated to continue. Perhaps it feared the scent of recycled apple.

"Dude," Dash finally said. "Nice."

She burst out laughing, rolling around on the cloud. Blitz could do nothing but join her.

By the time they finished cracking up, Blitz had a thought (For once).

He propped himself up on a foreleg, facing his double. "Hey Dash, did you hear the entire song that we're performing with?"

"Of course," she answered, giving him a look. "How would I know how to match our flying up to the music if I've never heard it?"

"Well I never heard the whole thing. Do you have, like, a recorder or something with the song on it?"

The mare dismissed his question with a wave. "No need. I already know what we're doing."

"But how come I never get to know what we're doing?"

"I dunno. Maybe you should pay more attention."

Blitz pouted and fell back onto his back. He mouthed Dash's words, miming her face with exaggerated silliness and malice. Dash could only grin, shake her head, and continue to digest.

...

Applejack could hear growling.

That was something a farmer had to look out for. Although beasts were rare outside of the Everfree Forest, one might find its way into an apple tree occasionally. Fruit bats were the most common, though generally harmless. A few bigger animals ventured into the dwelling in the past, but they were promptly escorted out by Big Macintosh. Somewhere, there was a manticore with a crooked tooth and a dent in its forehead. That one would not be returning.

This, however, was a different growl.

"Ah think that's enough, Twi. Ya did yer best." Applejack attempted to console the unicorn, but the growl intensified with her approach.

"It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense!" Nothing was keeping Twilight up but pride and adrenaline. She no longer regarded the apple with curiosity. She now faced it with full-blown rage.

The bucket was empty. It should have been filled several times over by now. However, their labor had yet to bear, well, fruit. The ponies had started on the first tree they found. And stayed there. For hours.

Applejack winced as the unicorn sent another volley of magic at the stubborn crop. If any other pony raised a hoof to the tree in any way that did not have to do with bucking, that pony would be missing a few teeth courtesy of Kicks McGee. However, Twilight had an air about her that threatened the worst pain that magic could buy.

The purple energy struck home, directly on the fruit's stem. It had force enough to sweep the legs out from under a pony, and being focused on such a small point turned it from dangerous to downright lethal.

It splashed against the rather thin fibers holding the apple onto the tree. It held, swinging mockingly on the branch.

Twilight cried out in frustration and stomped her hoof. That was a spell they taught in self defense classes. She had to duel her sensei for the rights to learn it. They kept the scroll hidden in a safe with three locks and a 24-hour guard. There was a ceremony and everything.

The apple deflected it for the umpteenth time that evening.

"Apples don't do that. Apples don't do that. Apples. Don't. Do. That..." She trailed off. Applejack finally managed to get close enough to try and calm her. Her mutterings continued and she hung her head, ears tucked down.

"I'm sorry. It just... I can't."

"C'mon Twi. It's fine. Let's get you home. You look beat." The earth pony led her down the trail toward the lights of the town.

"It's not alright. You asked for help and I couldn't do it."

"Hey, ya can't always give what somepony wants. Ya tried, and I'm mighty grateful fer that." Applejack smiled at her lowered head.

Twilight looked up at her, still miserable. "I know. I just really want to give help when somepony asks. Sometimes it gets too hard to juggle everything. Heck, here I couldn't even juggle one task."

Applejack shrugged. "That's the nature o' this kind o' thing. Ain't nothin ya can do bout it. No need to feel sorry. It's too bad there ain't two o' ya."

That last remark went unnoticed at first. The farmer kept eyeing her companion, waiting for the greased up gears in the unicorn's head to get a-movin'. Then, like a cuckoo-clock striking midnight, her eyes widened and her ears shot up. She mouthed Applejack's last words.

Sensing her queue, Applejack slowly changed her direction, heading back to the farm they just left.

"I'll see ya later, Twi! Thanks fer yer help!" She broke into a gallop away from the unicorn, who still didn't change her pace or expression.

Her gaze was fixed upon the ground the whole way two her home. She just kept mouthing those words.

"Two of me..." she whispered as she approached her front door.

"Two of me?"

...

Applejack stopped at the tree she had spent the day staring at. There were a few marks around the pesky apple. Some bark was missing here and there. When she got close enough, the apple flickered out of existence.

There was a clapping of hooves coming from the darkness. A white unicorn stuck out of the brush, wearing a Royal Guard surplus flowered headdress if there was such a thing.

"I applaud your improv, Applejack. Very subtle." She gave a wicked smile.

Applejack just raised an eyebrow. "Y'all try bein' dodgy with her and see how that works out."

She raised a white hoof to her chest. "Why, Applejack. I was being genuine. You truly have lovely acting skills. I was just about ready to shed a tear when you told her all that about not always being able to help. You can bet that will end up in a friendship report soon."

The earth pony was still unconvinced. Unfortunately, there was no telling the intentions of this particular pony. Applejack decided to just assume she was, in fact, being genuine.

"Well thanks. Yer little illusion was pretty good too. That there swayin' was a nice touch."

"Was it? I feared it was going to be too much for her."

"Yeah, she was bout' ready to blow that tree clear to Cloudsdale."

The unicorn carefully removed herself from the foliage, freeing her curly purple mane from that incredibly stylish hat.

"Do you think we got through to her?"

"Y'all didn't see her face. Either we got through to her or she rethought her life right in front of me. Might have been both."

The white pony smiled again. "That's what I like to hear. I guess we didn't need Fluttershy's part after all."

"After what Pinkie did? She could hardly handle this one."

"I suppose you're right." She cantered past the orange apple farmer. "I'll keep you and the others posted on any changes."

"Alright. Pleasure workin' with ya."

Rarity turned her head to give an alluring flutter of her eyelashes.

"Isn't it, though?"

...

There was little to no desire to continue practicing after dinner. The air grew cold now that the sun was fully gone. The food in their stomachs was likely to leave if they shook it up at all. They settled on taking an abbreviated bath in a river before talking through the next portion of their act.

The cold of night is often underestimated. Even in the summer, temperatures go way down. And if you grew used to the hot air, forget about it. You'll think you came down with frostbite.

Try that feeling up a few hundred meters in the air. Sure, it's far away from those pesky predators, but it's also far from pleasant.

"...and we'll end there, I guess," finished Dash, holding her limbs close to her center. Her wings curled around her with her feathers blocking the wind if not the cold air.

Blitz mimicked her stance. "Great. Can we get some shuteye now?"

"Yes please. I'm freezing here."

They stood up and surrounded their luggage. Dash stuck her head inside and produced two puffy sleeping bags. They each took one and tore into them like a hungry Pinkie with a pie. When the multicolored tornadoes faded, they were both wrapped up in their sacks.

They grimaced at the sluggish pace of their warmth. The blankets were cold to begin with. With their conscious minds preoccupied with discomfort, their deeper parts assessed their options.

Talking, although it has been fun, is not working. They shut it out every time.

If they don't like shouting, perhaps a whisper will sway them.

Their bodies refused to bless them with comfort, giving them only the occasional lull in shivering. They tumbled around in their bindings uselessly. All the while, thoughts eased their ways into their heads.

Finally, they both sat up.

"It's pretty chilly out here," Dash said nonchalantly, not looking at her clone.

"Yeah," Blitz agreed. He shot her a glance. "We should probably huddle together."

"For warmth," Dash specified.

"Ya know, since it's so cold."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

A long pause later, they wordlessly zipped their sleeping bags together. Each stood shivering over it with uncertainty. Dash started settling into it first. Blitz cautiously followed.

Their coats brushed together. The warmth was immediate. Blitz suppressed a groan, thankful his reddening face was not visible to her. The bag prevented his wings from noticeably flaring out, possibly humiliating him. They wiggled deeper into the blankets, their skin rubbing together maddeningly.

When they reached the end at last and were completely submerged in soft fabric and soft pony, Blitz threw caution to the howling wind and curled his forelegs around Dash's stomach. She accepted them, tucking her wrists over his hooves.

There was some wiggling and final adjustments, but they eventually reached their goal.

Comfort.

For the first time, neither of them were displeased with their position. When they settled down, Dash seemed to relax. She shut her eyes and rested her head on Blitz's shoulder. Although his throat went dry, he was in no rush to move away. He decided to just rest his head, tilting it so it was right behind Dash's. It certainly was cozy. A sigh escaped from both of them.

I'm kind of surprised I'm not having any of those weird thoughts, thought Dash.

This kind of thing usually starts them. Did something change? wondered Blitz.

Nothing felt different. She was just there next to him and there was nothing weird about that.

Dash opened an eye to peek at him. The warmth was great, sure. But there were other benefits too.

It's not like he's bad looking or anything. This is sort of nice...

She didn't attempt to stop her wings. It was normal to unfurl them during sleep. That was actually a common cause of cramps in pegasi. If they happened to brush against Blitz, that was his problem.

They did, but Blitz sure didn't have a problem with it. He was trying to ignore everything and sleep at this point. As much as he would have liked to keep contemplating this situation, there was work to do in the morning.

He buried his muzzle into her mane to block out the wind. Yeah. That's definitely why. Then he happened to breathe.

The smell wasn't quite fruity. It resembled some sort of plant. Maybe a flower. He continued to inhale.

We didn't bring any shampoo or anything. Did that river just smell like that? It didn't make me smell like that.

While pondering the origin of the scent, Blitz did not notice that he had slipped into a trance. His breathing quickened slightly, if only to take in more of Dash's mane.

The mare, however, was in no trance. She felt the rustling on her mane as it destroyed her progress at sleep.

"Blitz. What are you doing?"

He didn't respond. He just nuzzled his way further into the green portion of her hair. He may have mumbled something, but it could have been a moan.

"Are you... smelling my hair?"

Some time later, he gave a muffled affirmative. "Mhm," he hummed.

Dash was hesitant to react. This was sort of weird. There was really only one thing to ask.

"...Why?"

Blitz waited to inhale again. "Smells good..." he said. His speech was rather slurred.

Well, he answered her question. Not that it helped her understand at all.

That doesn't make sense. It has to smell like sweat or something. Is he even awake?

She twisted around in his grip so that she faced him. She then rotated their bed so that she was on top of him. His muzzle never left her even as she crawled up to his head.

Let's see what he's smelling. Or smell. Smell what he's smelling. Whatever.

She lowered her snout onto his spiky mane and gave a tentative sniff. She could only describe it as like some weak perfume. Except, there was no point in the day in which Blitz had access to perfume. Even she didn't put on, and it was socially acceptable for her to do so. She doubted her male counterpart would even think of it.

Dash kept smelling until she was in a trance as well. It definitely smelled good and it wasn't like she was going anywhere.

Blitz, meanwhile, was close to being smothered under her neck. Still, all he could think was, Where did the smell go?

He tightened his grip on the smell and started pulling it down to his nose. It tried to stop him, but not much. It seemed to be poking around him, trying to find a new spot to rest. Dash was experiencing the same issue, with her smell prodding her neck, approaching her face.

She wrapped her hooves around its neck. Maybe she just wasn't close enough to smell it again. Blitz got the same idea, pulling on the smell's waist.

Dash's mouth met something. It touched her lips, but still left empty space beyond that. She could no longer smell the smell.

Maybe it tastes good too?

She extended her tongue, trying to get a feel for where she was. It met something else. It certainly didn't taste bad.

The taste extended into her, seeming to try and get its bearings as well. They both just kept fumbling around, actually enjoying the experience quite a bit.

What is this even?

"Who."

Who?

"Who."

What do you mean who?

"Who."

She opened an eye to observe "who", somewhat annoyed at the interruption. However, she couldn't see beyond Blitz's annoyed eyes searching for "who" at the same time.

Wait a minute... she thought.

The gears were turning. Those damned sticky gears. Sweet Celestia, how were they even functioning.

Ah! There they go.

"Blith?"

"Dath?"

It was sort of hard to speak correctly with their tongues inside each other's mouths. So they parted.

"Blitz!?"

"Dash!?"

Their eyes widened and they tore violently away from one another.

"Oh my gosh!"

"Oh my gosh!"

"What are we-"

"How did-"

They each grabbed their heads in their hooves, screaming simultaneously.

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

...

Let's Get this Straight

"Do not worry about your dashes with rainbows, I assure you mine are still more awesome."

Graphs

***

It was a chore to go to sleep.

Dash never thought she would think those words in that sequence. Sleep was amazing. How could it possibly be difficult? You just plop yourself down anywhere comfortable and do nothing.

Turns out there are some comfortable places in which one cannot sleep. Also, "nothing" can escalate into "something" rather quickly.

Dash's cloud was flattened under the night's tossing and turning. A cloud. Flattened. That shouldn't have even been possible. They're practically made of fluff.

The sunrise was an unexpected relief to the poor pegasus. Since Luna appeared to have forsaken her, it only made sense that Celestia would be her salvation. She could finally give up on her apparently hopeless attempt to rest.

Rubbing her eyes did not remove her desire to sleep. Neither did her morning stretches. She wanted to go back to bed. However, she knew it would not help. Dash pondered this love-hate relationship as she folded up her sleeping bag. With the package in her mouth, she peeked over her cloud down to where the nightmare began.

There had been a flurry of confusion following what both pegasi had chosen not to discuss. At first there was an excruciating silence in the wake of their outburst. It was ages until they gathered their thoughts, separated their bags, and flew to different clouds.

Dash preferred to meet problems with an extended hoof. One preferably traveling at several hundred meters per second. For problems where this was not applicable, she preferred ignorance. It was intangible, so it must be insignificant. Eventually, the problem would go away.

This problem was going nowhere.

She had no clue where Blitz had decided to sleep. She wasn't about to call out for him. The less interaction with him, the better. Except, that would make it somewhat difficult to train.

She scanned the skyscape for any sign of the stallion, hoping he would still be in bed. She could sneak in some breakfast and just wait until they started training to have to talk to him. Short-term plans are the Dash's forte.

Too bad she made eye contact.

Dammit! He saw me! What do I do?

She paused, feeling another part of her surface.

What's wrong with you? Get out there and practice.

I can't! We... We were...

You were what? Say it.

She choked back a frustrated shriek. The voice was making absurd requests, like facing her problems. She had liked her first plan better.

With a poker face that would have cardsharps cracking up, she fluttered down to the saddlebags. Blitz was a step ahead of her, trying to open it.

"Hey," she croaked as she approached.

Blitz glanced at her before averting his eyes. "Fine. I- I mean, hey."

Dash waited while he cautiously manipulated the flaps. It was as if he had never used his hooves before. The buttons wouldn't unfasten and the sleeping bag slipped out of his mouth several times. Dash might have laughed at the display if she could find a place for her hooves on the cloud. She shifted her stance again and again, finding that each position put uncomfortable weight on some part of her.

"So," Dash said, opting to just hover in the air. "What's in there for breakfast?"

Blitz had just left the sleeping bag on the ground. "Um, there's apple stuff again. Pinkie left some baked things. I don't know if that would be good for flying."

"She probably left something breakfast-y. Like a danish or something."

"Oh. Right. That's what those are."

"What kinds are there?"

"Pink, and uh... yeah. Pink."

She rolled her eyes. "Figures. I guess I'll take a pink one."

"I'll see if I can find one." He let out a halfhearted chuckle.

Dash returned to the surface, looking away. A moment later, she blinked back into reality. "Oh. Heh heh. Thanks."

Blitz cringed. Wow. Why did I even say that? He passed her a pastry and took one out for himself.

The crust was bordering on too flaky. After taking a bite, Blitz found himself struggling to keep the whole thing from falling apart. Still, it was food. And good food at that. Toward the center was some sort of strawberry jam. Something else in it was making it sweeter and much lighter. It wasn't exactly a breakfast of champions, but that's only because they weren't champions yet.

Dash wiped some crumbs from her face. Alright, that was fine. We don't even need to talk about it. We can just move on.

"So how did you sleep?" she said, returning to normalcy for a few seconds. Blitz choked on his danish.

Oh yeah...

"No! I meant, uh. Are you ready to practice?" She spat out her words as quick as possible. It was just a slip of the tongue.

Like last night, part of her mentally added. She imagined punching that part.

Meanwhile, Blitz was finishing clearing his lungs of crumbs. "Oh. Yeah. Totally. Let's go."

They ascended to the heavens to prepare the sky. Blitz went to work removing the small, wispy cloud-lets in the way. Dash glided around, setting up the proper "background" as they had come to call it. From the point they had left off at, there would need to be a dense sphere in the center of their stage.

The day before, the pegasi had laughed and horsed around during their preparation. Today the wind only whistled through their ears. It was more fun yesterday.

With a decent ball floating before them, they flew to opposite sides a few meters from it.

"You know the drill?" Dash asked.

"I guess. Yeah. Ready?"

She nodded and let out a halfhearted "Go!".

The sky was rather disappointed. It had grown accustomed to a breathtaking takeoff from the two pegasi. This one was just pitiful. Sure, their speed was nothing to shake a stick at. But, one could comfortably point said stick in their general direction.

However underwhelming it was, they were still synchronized during their ascent. They flew high above their target, circling around in a shrinking spiral. In moments, they would meet and push off of each other to dart downward into the clouds. The result of that impact was predicted to be "awesome" by Dash. Blitz had agreed at the time.

That was the day before.

The two grew closer and closer in the air. There was no avoiding it. It had been planned to the individual tilt of the feather. Unfortunately, denial tended to step aside for reality.

It won't matter, thought Dash uneasily. It's like a hoof bump. Nothing weird about that,

So what if I have to look her in the eyes. Those big shiny purplish-pink eyes. My legs only turned to jelly that one time. It won't happen again.

Mhm.

Right.

The spirals were about to meet. Following the plan, they shifted their bodies ninety degrees upward, flying towards each other as if they were standing on their hind legs. Their hooves were outstretched, ready to meet. Dash went over her checklist for this collision.

Hooves in position. Wings flattened to decrease speed. Flying area free of clutter. Partner in position. Face feels extremely hot. Looking away from partner. Clenching teeth. Wait...

It is not fun to smack into a pony at a high speed. Bones can handle a lot. They'll still whine about it though. And then the skin and flesh gets involved, crying to mommy brain. The enabler that mother was, it would go ahead and make sure the problem would never happen again. Instead of the parts bucking up, the mother would go to the cabinet, grab a nice bottle of pain, and clean the house with it.

"Uf!"

The lump of tangled pegasus spun through the air, experiencing great difficulty extending a wing to guide the fall. Disentanglement was all on their minds. It didn't matter that the ground, despite its distance, would eventually rush to meet them. They just needed to get away.

Hooves and muzzles flailed about, brushing against that which bound them. That just so happened to include flanks and necks and the like.

With plenty of time to spare, Dash and Blitz parted, taking back control of their respective flight paths. Dash held her face in her hooves. Blitz clutched at the sides of his head. At the very least, they were synchronized in their recovery.

They landed sloppily onto the nearest cloud, making an unspoken agreement to take opposite sides of the platform.

"Look, sorry I-" Blitz began, turning toward Dash but keeping his eyes well away.

"No no no, it was me. I lost my focus." She tried to put on a smile.

"I wasn't all there either..." Blitz laughed unconvincingly.

"Right. Okay. That's fine. We're just a little off."

"Yeah. First flight of the day. Happens all the time. No big deal."

Somepony should get working on finding a repellent for ticks. The two pegasi were itching the back of their necks like crazy. Because it must have been some sort of tick. Definitely.

"Should we go again?" Blitz put out cautiously.

"In a minute. I need to... uh... yeah. Hold on."

They waited a little, pretending to catch their breaths. Dash shook her head as if it would rid her of her distraction.

"Ready?"

"I guess."

The pegasi had taken their break on the sides of the cloud furthest from their starting positions. Blitz moved to the right to walk around Dash. She moved to the left. Both stopped. Dash jerked right. Blitz jerked left.

"I'll just go this-"

"Move that way-"

"I was."

"Just let me go this way and-"

They sighed as their heads sagged forward. Blitz motioned for Dash to go. She nodded and took off cringing. Blitz continued on his way, holding his head in his hooves.

Why am I an idiot...

...

"Anatomy," droned a weary voice. The room would have been much too dark to read in to a pony that had enough sanity to care.

"Biochemistry."

The ladder on wheels rolled smoothly and boringly across the wooden floors. It normally had something interesting to add to the assistant's day, albeit unpleasant. It could tip on some literary debris or just find another way to expel a little purple passenger off of itself. However, it seemed to lose it's will to wreak havoc in the past few hours.

It was bored.

Everything had taken on a boring hue of brown and grey. Although that could have just been the lighting. The candles had been replaced several times over, accumulating impressive mounds of wax.

"Biology." Spike noted with fledgling appreciation that his matron had at least alphabetized his work to facilitate the process of returning the books to their places. The elation that normally accompanied finishing an assignment had eluded him. The only comfort he had was that his mind could rest.

For now.

There was motion upstairs. Four hooves gradually thumped against the floor. Then a fifth.

That was probably her head, Spike thought. She got home pretty late. And she was mumbling. I should really get her checked out. Maybe psychoanalyzed too, just in case.

He sighed unhappily, realizing he had just used the word "psychoanalyzed" in unconscious thought.

You win, Twilight. You win.

The pony that descended the stairs did not look like a winner. She looked like she had most certainly been beaten repeatedly. She must not have brushed her hair when she woke up. Or done any of her other morning rituals for that matter.

Not like I look any better, Spike added.

"Spike? Is that you?" She squinted against the flickering candlelight. As if she hadn't spent many a night in the same conditions.

Who else was it going to be? Spike thought of saying, deciding against it given his will to live. "Hey. Sleep well?"

She rubbed her eyes. "Oh. Sure. Just great."

"Crazy night out?" Spike asked, not looking away from his task.

Her head throbbed. "You could say that. Do we have anything for a headache?"

He almost laughed, but the dullness kept its hold of him. "You were out drinking all that time?"

She glared at the dragon who stood temptingly precariously on the ladder on wheels. "No. Just had a lot to think about."

"Alright. I'll go whip something up." Spike slid down the ladder without much caution. It would have been an entertaining act of dexterity had there not been an air of gloominess about him.

"Thanks," she said, approaching the blinds to let some sun in. As they rose, light much dimmer than she had expected permeated the dark library. Just how late was it? She opened the window too, welcoming any scent that was not paper. Paper meant information. Information meant learning. Learning meant thought. Thought meant decisions.

And decisions were awful.

While she blew out the now unnecessary candles, she absently wondered just what exactly Spike was going to "whip up".

Not like he knows much about cooking, she thought. Doesn't really matter. he's probably just making some tea.

As Twilight swatted a hoof at the unpleasant smoke spewing from the overworked candles there was a knock at the door.

There's always a knock at the door. Never some time to recover. Always with this nonsense.

A friendly smile forced itself onto her lips. She had found at a later age than most ponies that one was more likely to make friends if they act as if they are happy and not extremely tired of everypony's bull. She wouldn't admit that she still didn't really get it. Why lie to everypony around you like that? If you're not in the mood to talk, why attract conversation? Well, some chastising from her parents had done away with that little habit.

Five bits says it's her. No way luck is going to turn on me now.

A glowing paragon of grace trotted in from the opened door. She contrasted greatly with the unkempt librarian. There was no jealousy, though. After all, Twilight just won five bits.

"Good afternoon, Twilight. Sleeping in I see. Good. You need to relax some."

"Thanks for the advice," she muttered under her breath. She shut the door and followed the white unicorn into the room. "Nice to see you too Rarity."

Rushed banging of pots and cups sounded from the kitchen upon Twilight mentioning that name.

Rarity took no notice. "So have you got anything planned for today?"

"I actually was just going to relax today. I'll have to move a lot of things around, but I need a break."

Rarity smiled. "Lovely. Would you like to go to the spa? The market? Oh I bet we could catch the train to Canterlot and see the sights." Her eyes sparkled with the possibilities. Or maybe she incorrectly applied her glitter.

Twilight grimaced at the suggestions. Sure they would be fun, but also distracting. Internal justification of one's past actions would be difficult in any of those environments.

"Oh, I don't know. I was thinking I could stay in."

Rarity tilted her head, not quite understanding what wasn't appealing about those options. Then she shrugged. "To each her own, I suppose."

Spike entered, carrying a tray with two cups above him as if he were in some gourmet restaurant. Twilight magically picked up the purple mug labeled "Tea".

"Thanks," she said, sipping at the slightly steaming liquid. There was a hint of honey and something ever so slightly bitter that she couldn't quite place. Surprisingly, the edge of her headache began to fade.

Meanwhile, Spike had knelt down soberly before the love of his life as if she were about to knight him. She giggled and graciously accepted her mug

"My. Such a gentlecolt."

"Dragon," he corrected, actually beginning to smile. It seemed she had the ability to free him from the post-cramming doldrums.

Twilight still stood, staring at her mug. "Spike? What did you put in this?"

"One of your teabags, some honey, and some other stuff."

She felt around her mouth with her tongue to take in more of the strange taste. "What kind of stuff?"

"Well, you seemed really tense and you said you had a headache, so I put in something to help."

Feeling more nervous, she said, "What is 'something'?"

He raised an eyebrow (Or scale? Eyescale?). "Some medicine. Don't worry about it."

Twilight had to process the information. Medicine. I was feeling tense. Now I'm relaxed. Am I nauseous? My tongue tingles. Is the room spinning? Everything seems so blurry! What's happening?!

"D-did you just feed me ketamine?!" she shrieked, shaking.

Spike recoiled. "Of course not! I wanted to help you, not knock you out. I made my own little medicine for you. It's a good few steps down from a tranquilizer. You should be feeling a bit better already."

She had to admit, the pain was leaving her rather rapidly, as were her delusions of declining health. "When did you learn to make medicine?"

"Since you forced me to read every medical book we have," he growled.

Rarity had started chuckling at "ketamine". She nearly spilled her cup attempting to stop herself.

"What is so funny about this?" Twilight asked indignantly. "He could have just poisoned me!"

"Hey! Spikozine doesn't have any side effects aside from drowsiness!" The dragon folded his arms indignantly.

"Spikozine!" Rarity laughed, no longer trying to hide her amusement.

"This isn't funny, Rarity!" the drugged unicorn exclaimed.

"Of course it is, dear." She leaned over to Spike. "Perhaps you should use the ketamine next time." He let out a laugh of his own.

"Rarity!"

"Oh fine. Honestly, could you at least try to have fun?"

Twilight huffed and turned toward the baggy pillows she had set out for those young and hip readers that like to sit on weird things. "I have plenty of fun. In fact I spent most of yesterday out and about." She plopped down and took another sip of her tea. Despite her objections, she couldn't help but feel invigorated.

"So I've heard," the white unicorn replied, finding a seat by another amorphous chair. "Did you ever figure out that apple?"

Twilight sighed. "No. I've ruled out everything but dark magic and chaos magic." She remembered her experiences with both of those with a shudder. "I don't need to delve into either of those right now."

After returning the tray, Spike walked to the front door.

"Where do you think you're going?" called his parental figure.

"I cleaned up the library, read all your little books, and relieved your headache. I'm going out and you aren't making me stay in here for another day." With that, he stomped out, slamming the door behind him.

Twilight stared aghast at where the dragon had been while Rarity stifled another giggle.

"I suppose he's getting around that age. Soon he'll be getting tattoos and going out with the daughter of an upper class family that doesn't approve of him. They'll run off and live a hard life on the countryside." She sighed and took another sip of her tea. "Where do the years go, Twilight?"

Twilight raised an eyebrow briefly. "I guess I have been a little hard on him lately. I haven't given him time to himself in a while."

"He's got it now, so don't worry about him rebelling or anything. Oh! I just remembered. I heard some nice gossip concerning him."

"Oh?" Twilight said, trying not to seem interested. "From who?"

Rarity gave Twilight her mysterious grin. "I have my sources, Twilight. On everypony."

The librarian made a note to never do anything remotely scandalous within Rarity's network.

"So apparently," she continued. "Some little filly fancies our little Spikey." Her cup rotated as Rarity examined it with little interest. She found that seeming nonchalant boosted credibility for whatever reason. There was a sense of elegance about it.

Twilight's mouth morphed into an 'O'. That certainly was news.

"Now, I wasn't told any names, but I can only suspect that it's somepony he actually spends time with every now and then."

Twilight could only recall a group of three fillies that saw him on a regular basis. "You wouldn't happen to be thinking of-"

"I'm not thinking of anypony," Rarity said innocently.

"Come on, don't be so modest. You must have something more about it."

Rarity brushed a hoof through her mane. "I'm not holding back anything. I'm not infallible, darling, however close to it I may be."

Twilight pondered the possibilities. "It's such a strange thought. What do you think it would be like if it was your sister?"

If there was ever a maliciously benevolent smile, it spread across Rarity's lips. Without hesitation, she began. "I would do everything in my power to make sure he falls head over heels for her. Through fair means or foul, he would see only her and treat her like royalty. They would date faithfully through their younger years and he would propose and I would get to plan a wedding!" She nearly squealed with delight at the scenario.

"You don't think there would be any problems with that?" Twilight said, shaking her head. "Like being of different species?"

"Oh pish posh. Love has a funny way of making things work out, you know. Haven't you ever read the fairy tales?"

Of course she had. However, Twilight had frozen with fear at the mention of the 'L' word. It had far too much relevance to the cause of her now eradicated headache. A diversion was in order.

"W-well how do you think Applejack would react if it was Applebloom?"

"Applebloom?" Rarity actually had to think about this one for a moment. "I can't imagine that our Applejack would object. She has enough respect for him. Though I doubt that little filly has anything on her mind but her cutie mark."

"Then that leaves Scootaloo." Twilight paused to go over what little information she had on the orange filly. "Where are her parents anyway? I don't recall ever meeting them."

Rarity closed her eyes and flipped her hair to the side. "Probably one of those snobby Pegasus types that thinks anything beyond the clouds is beneath them. At least Rainbow Dash has taken her under her wing. She needs a parental figure at least somewhat involved in her life, even if that figure is Dash. Oh! That reminds me. Free up your schedule for Saturday. I need to get your ticket to you."

Twilight tilted her head for a second. "For wha- Oh right! Their show. You got me one?"

"Yes dear. Did you expect otherwise? From me?"

"Well, no. But it's not as if I just expected you to take care of things or anything."

"Mm. Well, you can pay me back by getting a hold of a balloon and getting that wing spell prepared for me." She blinked hopefully.

Twilight was unaffected. "I think we'll just stick with the hoof enchantment. We don't need you falling to your death again."

"Aw. Why not? I bet you could give them to all of us ground-bound ponies. I bet you would look stunning!"

The more powerful unicorn blushed at the praise. "Oh stop. Could you imagine? Me? With wings?"

Rarity laughed. "I do admit, it would be a silly sight. But you don't understand. It was such a thrill!"

"To almost die?" Twilight quipped.

The whiter unicorn shuddered. "Well the part before that was thrilling."

"Yeah. I'm thinking no wings. We'll all gather here before we get going for the spell." She started to scan the shelves for that particular charm, noticing that said shelves were in better condition than she had remembered leaving them.

I guess Spike does deserve a break, she thought.

She felt Rarity's hoof on her shoulder. "I understand if you don't want to go on some wild excursion for your day off, but at least allow me to treat you to lunch. I still feel I owe you for...well, I haven't been quite fair with you recently." There was sincerity in those eyes behind what some would consider to be too much makeup.

It felt as if a rather uncomfortable thorn had been removed from Twilight's temple but she gathered that it would be best kept from her. "Thanks, but you don't have to do this. It's alright, really." However, her stomach grumbled indignantly as it had been given nothing but tea since the previous day. Drugged tea, no less.

"No. I insist." Rarity hurried her out of the library, which would evidently be left unattended for another day.

"But I didn't even brush my hair." She immediately felt Rarity's magic weaving through her tangled mane.

"There's no need to worry, dear. Now where would you like to go? It's entirely up to you."

...

"This sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks," is what would have been coming from Rainbow Dash's mouth had her face not been thrust into a cloud. Her various bruises throbbed, but they were given none of her attention. They contributed only a background annoyance to her suffering.

Practice was not going well, to say the least. Little to no progress was made since the previous day, largely due to the previous night. Although the routine was laid out in their minds, the two pegasi had yet to pull off a single maneuver without incident.

The performance was littered with close flying and occasionally outright contact. This proved to be a problem when they attempted to meet. More attention was paid to the texture of each other's touch rather than their collective trajectory. Often times the results were "velvety" and "into something painful".

Still, persistence could not be listed among their shortcomings. The craters in the mountainside could attest to that.

Blitz flew sluggishly over to his partner's cloud, not bothering with any sort of acknowledgement of her presence. He probably would have messed it up anyway. He collapsed into the fluff, far more weary than he should have been given the activity. Flying was in his blood, or so he'd been told.

Dash looked over to him. His chin rested on the floor as if he'd lost a boxing match, minus the small critters that normally circled the loser's head. He was tired. So was she. Not just fatigued physically. That would have been no problem. It was the thought. The wondering. The incapability of understanding what was going wrong.

Or rather, the incapability of accepting it.

"I don't know what to do," she thought out loud. No anger, no conviction. Just a statement of the truth.

"We can't keep going on like this," Blitz continued for her. "We're getting nowhere."

"We're running out of time," the mare added.

"We need to do something."

Dash didn't finish their game of "Finish my sentence". It would have been redundant anyway. The atmosphere was already screaming "But what?"

She sighed and moved closer to her clone. She met his eyes for a fraction of a second, negotiating a tentative truce in whatever one could call conflict they were having. With her remaining courage sufficiently mustered, she spoke to him directly.

"Alright. No more of this. No more sulking."

Blitz rose and nodded his head sternly. "Yeah. We need to just get it all out in the open."

"So. We're both a little..." She groped for the words.

"Unsure?" he suggested.

"Right. Unsure about how to handle what uh, went on last night."

"And if we just say what's on our minds, it'll all be over and we can get back to work."

"Yeah."

A silence they were all to familiar with descended upon them. A silence of reluctance. Of doubt. Of discomfort. Neither wanted to begin what was sure to be an unenjoyable experience.

Blitz faked a cough poorly. "You wanna go first?"

"Um, no. You go first."

"How about we take turns?"

"That's fine. You can go first."

"Dammit," he muttered. "So. Last night. We cud-c-cuddl, ugh." The words were cumbersome on his tongue. "We were laying pretty close together," he finished quickly, if not aptly. He motioned to Dash.

She cringed. "So then, you went and, uh..." She swallowed. "...smelled my mane." Her cheeks approached the slightest shade of red. "Then I smelled your mane." Letting out a breath, she passed the conversational reins over to Blitz.

There was no good way to say it, given the situation and the ponies involved. No way of dancing around the issue.

"And..." He coughed again, genuinely this time. "At some point..." There didn't seem to be enough oxygen in the air. It must have been the altitude. Yeah. The altitude. "We..."

How am I supposed to say this?

Time ticked by and his momentum began to fade. He felt like flying away. He could too. Just pick a direction, go that way, and never see anypony ever again.

He sucked in a breath, clamped his eyes shut, and loudly sputtered out the contents of his mind.

"We made out! We made the hell out! You were on top of me and I felt you up!"

He swallowed and flung his head back and forth. The well was opened and ready to flood the world. They were in much to deep to stop now. She frantically dumped what she had to say.

"And it was hot! Really hot! I felt your hooves all over me and I tasted your tongue!"

"So did I!"

"Ugh!"

"Ugh!"

They howled in frustration and fell to the cloud, burying their faces. No effort was made to hide their now firmly propped up wings. It was out in the open. There would be no use hiding anything.

Right?

It wouldn't be long until sunset. The sky was becoming a slightly darker shade of blue and the wind was building up its chill. The echoes of two screams were all that permeated the otherwise serene valley landscape. And, of course, two trembling lumps high above it.

Gradually, the pegasi emerged from the cloud. Looks of calm acceptance adorned their faces. With their eyes held shut, they took deep, synchronized breaths and adjusted their postures, trying to regain some dignity.

Dash let out one more exhale before opening her eyes. Blitz looked back at her and nodded.

"Alright," he said. "It's all there."

"Uh huh," Dash replied. "Are we good now?"

Blitz looked around, as if that would confirm whether or not he was good. "Sure. I think so."

"Good," Dash said, sounding relieved.

"Yeah." Blitz turned and trotted over to the edge opposite to Dash, looking out at the valley. Dash turned away from him as well.

He laid back down on the cloud and tried to finally take in the landscape. There had been no time yesterday and no focus today. He could finally see the bushy trees, the specks of distinct color where small birds flew, and the thin streams that ran down and away from Canterlot Mountain. If he were a more poetic pony, he would see some sort of symbolism in the calm of nature and the new found calm in his life. The problem that nagged him all day was gone.

"Hey Blitz?" the mare called, her voice quivering slightly.

Blitz waited before answering uneasily, "Yeah?"

"D-do you feel any different?"

There was another pause. A double checking. Triple checking. Wouldn't want to be mistaken about this sort of thing.

"Nope." A lump of some sort of heavy metal formed in his chest. His eyebrows crawled upward with concern. He didn't dare look back.

"Neither do I..." Her voice trailed off, sowing the foreboding seeds of conflict in the air.

The stallion didn't want to say it. To tip the precarious fantasy they had haphazardly built up. However, he feared he would burst if the topic was left to fester in his imagination.

"Th-" he began hesitantly. "That didn't help at all, did it?" Some heat in his cheeks combated the weak wind at his face.

"Nope."

Their heads fell forward, their chins colliding with the cloud. On their stomachs, they shared a weary and frustrated sigh.

"Dammit."

"Dammit."

Dash wore her least favorite expression as she scrutinized the water vapor that held her aloft. Defeat.

Yup. Definitely water, she thought. So I guess we're screwed. No chance now. I wonder if I could just play off the whole contest like it's no big deal or I'm not interested or something.

Her stomach churned with grief. Abject misery was not a very desirable feeling. And of course, it was accompanied by the resurfacing of inner Dash.

What the hell are you doing?

Moping.

If abstract mental constructs could roll their eyes, this one would have. I can tell. Why is that?

Cuz' we're screwed?

Oh my Celestia. Seriously? Still with this? Get over it.

Dash snorted inwardly. Easy for you to say.

The voice snorted back. Yeah, it is. Which means it's just as easy for you. Now get up.

I can't...

Excuse me? "I can't"? Who are you even?

I'm Rainbow Da-

Rainbow Dash! You are Rainbow Dash! You saved Equestria several times and you're upset about this? About a boy? You know what? This isn't even about him anymore. You don't even have to pay attention to him. But, you are going to finish this. Come on. Up and at 'em.

Dash reluctantly pushed herself onto her haunches. Optimism comes more naturally with a head held higher. She glanced at Blitz, who remained in the emergency sulking position. She racked her brain for any clue on how to deal with things.

This sort of problem was relatively common among younger pegasi. Bashful fillies and foals have trouble being quite so close to one another in most cases. Luckily, instructors devised a fun greeting exercise in order to integrate the class when they were less than eager to cooperate.

It was demeaning. It was humiliating. It was shameful, foalish, and any number of adjectives that Dash particularly did not approve of.

Dash cracked her neck and rose to her hooves.

"Get up. I've got an idea."

Blitz complied without enthusiasm. "Alright."

"Now," she began. "This is going to sound stupid."

"Okay?" the stallion replied with uncertainty.

"Like, I wouldn't be suggesting this if I didn't think we needed to."

"Go on."

"It actually is really stupid."

"Just tell me already!"

She sighed and drew upon the memories of flight camp. "Okay. Do you remember school at all?"

Blitz checked his brain, which was little help as usual. He shook his head.

"Well, in gym class, everypony usually didn't want to play any games where they had to fly close together and all that."

She and Blitz shared a grimace at the likening of their predicament to the troubles of a young, shy child.

"So, to fix that, the teacher would put us all in pairs and..." She trailed off.

Blitz leaned in expectantly. "And what?"

No, I'm not dragging this out again. she thought as she felt herself begin to falter again. "We would dance."

The stallion blinked at the simplicity of the suggestion and also the bluntness with which his partner had shared it.

"Dance?" he asked.

"Dance," Dash repeated.

"Together?"

"Together."

"Like, a slow dance?"

"He- he called it a 'waltz'."

The word "waltz" conjured images in Blitz's mind of snooty stallions in tight suits with snootier mares in too puffy dresses walking slowly and stupidly around the floor of some event that one would be very likely to try and miss. Dash could be accused of having to "tend to" her poor, sick friend "Bonburry" at a candy shop in Trottingham to miss just such an event.

At any rate, he was not at all eager to be "waltzing". Especially with a mare he couldn't stand to lock eyes with, much less hooves.

"Are you sure it will help?" he asked, doubt practically shouting through his eyes.

"No," Dash admitted. "It probably won't. But I'm running out of ideas and we're running out of daylight."

Indeed, the light was receding, but there was a whole day and the following morning before the deadline. Plenty of time to orchestrate their performance.

A wave of exasperated apathy swept over Blitz. He felt there to be nowhere left to fall but off the cloud, and he was certain he could handle that drop. There was no reason not to try.

"Okay," he said with some difficulty, rising to the air. "How are we going to do this?"

Dash followed him up, hovering before him. "I never really paid attention to what exactly we were doing. To me, it just looked like we were flying around in circles-"

"That sounds easy," Blitz said, sounding relieved.

"-holding each other. Like this," she finished with a look that did not exactly inspire confidence or comfort. One foreleg curled around an invisible pony with the other held out on the opposite side, presumably holding the invisible pony's hoof.

Blitz awkwardly mimicked the positioning, looking at her and imagining himself replacing the invisible pony. She would be holding on to him and he to her. Her hoof would be in his.

He shivered. No, I can't. Can't do it.

The voice brought forth its most disappointed tone. Oh no. Not this again.

Can't do it, he repeated in his mind.

Why not? And don't start with me on you being afraid. You both agreed.

He offered no response to himself.

If you can think of one reason to be afraid, I will gladly stop arguing with you. Go ahead. Name one.

Still no reaction. His eyes were fixed upon the invisible pony. And, what with him being invisible and all, they naturally fell on Dash. Her legs were still held out in the air, of course. Inward conversations are notorious for brevity. She looked back at him, almost feeling the sensations of his invisible pony.

Almost wanting to feel them.

"I guess we should start," Blitz said quietly. He drifted toward her at a maddeningly slow pace.

"I guess we should," Dash whispered.

They had what could loosely pass as a collision, eyes held on their hooves as if they were paying all of their attention to their pose. Dash placed one on his shoulder and one off to the side. Blitz caught that one and held it aloft, perpendicular to their bodies. His other hoof wrapped around her waist, well above her tail. A protective father would have been satisfied.

They spent some time just hovering in the air. Their wings eventually synchronized, bobbing them up and down as one. They made minute shifts in their positions and definitely did not pay attention to the soft, warm fur they each held before them.

A thought crossed Dash's mind that made her want to throw up a little more. There was no music, save for the whistling breeze. There would be nothing to give them any indication of when and how to begin. In short, things were about to get awkward.

Not if I start this first, she thought.

"Okay," she said much more confidently than she felt. "Let's go."

She gave a short flap of her wings to set them in motion. The maneuver at first propelled her muzzle further into Blitz's neck. She sighed, remembering the sensations from the previous night, then she quickly aimed her attentions elsewhere over his shoulder.

The stallion held his head high, though not for dignity or any such delusion. He simply wanted to keep his nose as far from her mane as possible. Still, the tantalizing scent of fruit and flowers reached him, beckoning him into the multicolored thicket below him. He tried very hard to ignore the urge, though her surge toward him made this more difficult.

Their straight line path hardly seemed like a dance, so some part of Blitz concerned more with style then desires beat one of his wings, sending the two pegasi into a slow spin.

The new movement necessitated a slightly stronger hold on one another. However, they overestimated the force and drew each other inward tighter. Neither recoiled.

Dash's breath grew heavy and hot. She could tell that Blitz's had done the same, given his quickly rising and falling chest.

You're both nervous, her mind said softly, for once without disdain or sarcasm.

Sooner or later, you'll have to accept that you're pretty much the same, said Blitz's. Afraid of the same things.

But, Dash's continued. You have to remember, you probably want the same things too.

They floated without change for several minutes. Their bodies relaxed as attention shifted from fidgeting to thought.

"The same things..." Blitz breathed, staring off into the sky.

Dash leaned her head back to look at him. "Hm?"

"Oh, nothing," he dismissed.

"Oh." She held her eyes on his face for a moment, then looked back over his shoulder. "You know, I never really liked how we always did this silly dance thing all slow."

"I can see why," Blitz agreed. "It gets a little boring."

"What say we bump it up a notch?" Fire kindled in her eyes, replacing the fear. He mouth curled up in the faintest of grins.

He couldn't help but reciprocate. "You read my mind," he said. Then, with a swift motion of his wings, he sent them twirling faster.

The increasing speed fueled her smile. The air once again became her element. That's all a situation needed to become fun again. A little speed.

As she reveled in new found comfort, Blitz's smile grew mischievous. "Yo Dash. Heads up!"

She hardly had enough time to say "What?" before the stallion pushed off of her, sending her spinning even faster. It was disorienting, but a pony that can handle the dizzitron can handle a little spinning. She scanned the world as it spun around her, looking for her partner.

He appeared behind her, wrapping his hooves around her in a way that would make the aforementioned protective father somewhat uneasy. He didn't really absorb the impact so much as he simply matched her speed.

His head leaned down next to hers, grinning wildly. "How's that?" he asked against the cold air blowing in their ears.

Dash tilted her head back to rest on him. "Not bad, Blitzy. Not bad at all" She twisted back around to face him, pressing her hooves against his shoulders. "Only, I was thinking something a bit more like this!"

As the words left her mouth, he felt himself being flipped upside down so his hind legs pointed toward the sky. Just as quickly, Dash shot off above him, leaving him only able to crane his neck downward, which was actually skyward, to watch her.

A second of obscenely fast dashing later, she instantly stopped her upward motion and aimed back down for a dive. Eyeing Blitz's rotation carefully, she launched toward the ground with one powerful flap of her wings.

The mare rocketed in the direction of the stallion's face, barely giving him enough time to move it out of the way, assuming he wasn't already going to spin into her. Her streamlined body was ground bound.

Time slowed as she reached him. Her hooves pointed in front of her and her mane waved dazzlingly, seemingly suspended in the air. Without thinking, he clamped onto her, around her furled wings and slender frame. Their united entity still maintained most of Dash's speed and Blitz's spin, but he didn't really care much. His snout thrust into a wall a blue fur. With his eyes closed, he twisted his wings, arcing their course until they were parallel to the ground. All on instinct.

Her neck closed around his head and her hooves clutched onto whatever part of him they could find. Blitz could feel every beat of her heart and every elated breath she took in. Suffice to say that he and she were well and truly enthralled.

So enthralled, that neither saw the rather large clump of clouds that floated in their way.

The pegasi drilled into the obstacle, feeling both their forward motion and their rotation abruptly slow down. The deceleration left them dazed and a bit woozy, but covered in fluff and clutching warmth.

When they decided which way was up, they squirmed through the natural pillow until their upper halves were free.

Dash took in gulps of unobstructed night air, throwing her head back to take in its cooling wind. Blitz just laid back, content to cool off without having to move. Dash found herself falling to the very same exhaustion soon enough and fell to the cloud.

Rather, she fell to what separated her and the cloud, which turned out to be Blitz. She caught herself not an inch away from his face, breathing heavily onto him and looking directly into his half closed eyes.

The world left them behind as they stayed in that position. The night just proceeded around them as they processed their options.

One reason... Blitz reached to her head to gently sweep her mane from her face.

The same things... Dash's forelegs grew week and tucked themselves over his shoulders as she fell.

Her mouth closed around his. Their eyelids fell. Instincts took over as their conscious minds went blank.

...

We've Got This

"If you're dashing through rainbows, keep dashing."

Graphs

***

The warrior's eyes were alight in the frenzy of battle. He did not want victory. He needed it. He did not lack a worthy opponent, however. Light gleamed off its armor, pompous and confident in its victory. It acted not for purpose, but for violence. Pain.

Blood.

Spike fought valiantly against the adversary, parrying the strikes his eyes could follow. Wielding multiple weapons, it lashed out far beyond the capabilities of the dragon's blade. The blows it landed were absorbed by his thick scales. He could feel them beginning to break through the natural armor, cutting scorching wounds into the skin underneath. So he redoubled his efforts to simply smother the enemy with sheer force. But, alas, it was not enough.

The damned sunlight woke him up.

A reptilian gurgle escaped his mouth as he stretched out above the walls of his basket. Sleep-cramped muscles gave their usual complaints, along with a few others from his day of Crusading.

Spike shuddered. It was fun and all, but the three fillies who had occupied him did not seem to know when to stop. The appropriate time to stop hang gliding is when you've crashed once, not six times. The appropriate time to stop bucking trees is when your farmer sister comes and asks you to stop, not when she chases you off with the threat of being hogtied.

He sighed and stopped fuming, literally and figuratively. It's not as if he could think of a way he would rather have spent his day off. He just wished it hadn't been so painful.

Pain. Right. He recalled his outburst against Twilight with a cringe. He did not look forward to facing up to that. He only managed to dodge the bullet yesterday thanks to her being out late again.

His muscles ached again. On second thought, he'd rather be given a verbal beating than a physical one at the moment. In addition, he could expect said beating from a pony that was relatively logical and sane.

The dragon tiptoed down the stairs only to find his matron staring intently at two blocks of wood on the floor, scribbling furiously with a floating pen on a scroll without looking.

Okay. Relatively sane.

Seeing the lack of need for sneakiness, he walked down normally, approaching the blocks to find any sign of something interesting.

He was disappointed. It was two wooden cubes. They were absolutely uniform and uninteresting. Not even a speck of paint. Twilight didn't even acknowledge the dragon as he crept further and further into her field of view.

A minute of staring passed without incident or interest. Spike began to worry about the obsessive unicorn. It was one thing to be into observation, but it was another thing to be monitoring something so bland with such passion. She went as far as stroking her chin as the blocks did nothing.

Spike opened his mouth to speak, which was quickly prevented by Twilight's hoof leaving her chin long enough to shush him. He pouted and returned to watching.

That's when they snapped together.

There wasn't a great distance between the blocks. Half a foot, perhaps. They sat upon a relatively smooth surface. It certainly wasn't uncommon for things to move without being touched. Twilight's scroll and quill could attest to that.

However, these lacked the telltale glow of telekinesis. The movement happened very suddenly and finished just as suddenly. The clapping of wood on wood reverberated through the library, along with the surprised yelps of its residents.

Twilight was knocked back on her rump by her surprise, Spike following her example. His expression was one of slight confusion, paling in comparison to her look of concerned shock.

"Twilight? What just happened?" Spike said, feeling that the time had passed for greetings.

She let out a weary breath. "I'm studying the Attraction between duplicated objects."

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"For emphasis," she responded, as if it were the question he was asking. Spike rolled his eyes.

"I mean what is it?"

"For some reason, the cloned object exhibits a strong attraction toward the original object and vice versa. It's not quite the same with cloned ponies, so I'm trying to find a trend in these to make predictions about the rest."

The dragon knelt down and poked the joined blocks with a clawed finger. They remained clamped together, exactly the way wood wouldn't do.

"Weird," he remarked casually. "So, you want anything for breakfast? I think I'm feeling eggs today."

Twilight was prepared to have a discussion about magical science, not about food. She didn't answer, finding the question to be oddly difficult. Spike just shrugged.

"Suit yourself." He walked off.

The unicorn was tired of not understanding things. Of not understanding this magic. Of not understanding its implications.

And, most of all, of not understanding why nopony cared.

Are they even thinking of the problems this could cause? About how Dash is going to have to suffer losing her free will on the matter? This is getting ridiculous.

The blocks on the floor refused to answer her. She picked them up and cantered over to her desk to examine her notes.

Don't worry, Dash. I'll find a way to fix this.

...

It's strange how early one can awaken sometimes. One might expect that surplus time in any given morning would be eagerly taken up by sleeping, especially if there was excess fatigue the night before. Yet, one can still find themselves awake and full of energy in spite of opposition. It must have depended on the pony's mood, the quality of the sleep, or even the quality of the bed.

Or maybe the company.

Rainbow Blitz didn't know when he woke up. That's the problem with keeping your face buried and eyes closed when it is quite clear that no more sleep would get done. He still didn't want to get up. There was just something so pleasant about this particular cloud. There didn't seem to be anything special about it. It felt like any other. It might have had something to do with the stripes.

Stripes?

With his eyes apparently open, he could now see the sleeping form of Rainbow Dash on top of him. The sound of deep snoring reverberated from where she rested the back of her head on his chest. His forelegs rose and fell gently with her steady breathing.

Oh yeah. Last night... He waited for his heart to jump or skip or hop. Hell, he at least expected a slight shudder. But there was nothing.

Aside from satisfaction, of course.

A smug smile spread across his muzzle, as if he'd just won some sort of game against a bunch of cocky jerks. For all he knew, he had. He couldn't imagine there was a stallion in Equestria that didn't want her. Probably even a few mares.

Well too bad. His grip tightened ever so slightly. She's mine.

Blitz wanted to stay there like that all day, but recalling his and her escapades had one flaw. He remembered that absolutely no progress was made regarding their routine. Blitz may have even been guilty of forgetting a step or two.

He groaned, trying to build up the resolve to get up. However, the journey was long and inspiration scarce. So he absently dragged his muzzle across his partners head.

There was that smell again, though it lacked its soporific effect what with the active goal being the exact opposite of sleep. He felt around until he met her ear then gave it a playful nudge. Dash's snoring faltered.

Blitz recalled what he learned from the previous night. Among other things, Dash had very much enjoyed when he played with her ears.

He found the tip of her ear and placed it between his upper teeth and lower lip, applying slight pressure. This stopped the snoring completely, making way for a not entirely unhappy groan.

The stallion laughed and gave the ear a tug, careful not to actually be hurting her. He himself was still a little sore. It was a bit too early to start with that again.

And, evidently, too early for Dash to wake up. Despite the smile on her lips, she turned away whenever he tried to reach her face to talk to her.

"C'mon, Dash," he said softly. "We've gotta get to work."

She flailed a weak hoof in the direction of the sound. "Five more minutes," she grumbled, nestling further into the crook of his neck.

As much as Blitz enjoyed the experience, there was flying to do. He dodged the hoof, still laughing quietly. He craned his neck to position his head on the other side of hers. "Alright. If you won't wake up, I'll just have to do this."

The stallion began vibrating his forelegs, shaking his companion up and down violently. Her still sleeping eyes tried to open and she made a sound between a gurgle and a grunt. Her hoof shot out clumsily again, except this time Blitz was too preoccupied with messing with her.

Something hard collided head on with his nose. The shaking stopped instantly and his forelegs flew to the injury.

"Hnnglrgh!" he exclaimed profoundly. His eyes clamped shut as he writhed beneath the still recovering Dash.

When her brain stopped nearly smacking against her skull, she twisted onto her stomach to face her injured alarm clock.

"Jeez, what was that all about?" she asked, rubbing her eye.

Blitz only continued holding his hooves to his muzzle for fear of it falling off. He might have tried to growl, but it came out as a whimper.

"What's up with you? I would think you'd be happy after last night." She finished her sentence with a wry grin, twirling a hoof in a circle on his chest.

"You punched my nose!"

"Pft. No I didn't."

"How are you gonna tell me that wasn't a punch?"

Dash rolled her eyes. "You big baby. Let me see." She tried to push his hooves out of the way but they wouldn't budge.

"Stop! It's probably broken!"

"Aww. Does wittle Bwitzy Witzy want me to kiss it better?"

Blitz crossed his forelegs and looked off away from her, offended. "It couldn't hurt."

Dash grabbed his chin to turn it toward her. She flicked her mane behind her head, half closed her eyes, licked her lips, and leaned in.

Blitz raised an eyebrow, surprised at how easy that had worked. He closed his eyes, leaning back on the cloud and waiting for the fruits of his plan.

Dash grew closer. He could feel it, her breath on his fur. Her pace was agonizingly slow. Her lips met him and she...

...she kissed him on the nose.

A look of utter disappointment washed over Blitz. He squinted his eyes at her snickering face.

"Feel any better?" she asked through giggles.

"No," he deadpanned. "What was that even?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Well you said you hurt your nose." She gave him a peck on the cheek and rose up from their night-long embrace. "We can't waste time getting caught up in that stuff anyway."

Blitz started to push himself up as well. "That's what I was trying to tell you when you punched me in the face."

"You want I should hit you again?" she threatened, holding up a hoof.

"Like you could hurt me!" he said back.

"I could, did, will, and you love it!" she said, shoving her face up against his with each word. Her smile was ferocious.

Blitz resisted the urge to tackle her there. It took some effort to remind himself that he'd been trying to get on task for some time now. He kept getting distracted for some reason.

"Alright. Later. Then we'll see who's loving what." He retreated from her face, if only to control himself.

"Can't wait," she replied cheerfully. She approached the edge of the cloud and hopped off, disappearing below it. Blitz peered over the edge to find the cloud where they had left their bag just below. Some considerable drifting must have happened overnight. He followed her off.

"What are you feeling like?" Dash asked, rummaging through the bag.

"There should be some apple fritters in there somewhere. I'll have some of those."

The rich smell assaulted Dash's nose when she brought out the wrapped package. She eagerly ripped open the paper to look at the little balls of fried deliciousness unobstructed.

"Mm. Me too." She popped one into her mouth and tossed a few Blitz's way. He managed to juggle them into the crook of a foreleg without falling flat on his face. A notable feat, considering how breakfast went last time.

They ate their fatty and fruity dough thankfully without incident. Everypony's hooves remained functional and eye contact was not avoided nor was it dreaded.

""Hey Dash?" Blitz said, wiping some crumbs from his mouth.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any idea what exactly we were afraid of? Last night, I mean."

Dash furrowed her brow and frowned. She understood his meaning, having begun to ask herself the very same thing. Despite dominating her mind the previous day, she could not for the life of her explain its source.

She shrugged "No idea, dude. Probably something stupid."

He frowned. "It's killing me not knowing. It just seemed like such a big deal at the time. And now I don't know what it was, or even what ended up fixing it."

"Well that one is easy," Dash said, flashing a grin.

Blitz cocked his head to the side, confused. "It is?"

The mare nodded as if this were some serious lack of competence on his part. "You really don't know?"

"Come on. Tell me."

She looked around as if she were keeping some big secret. Then she shut her eyes and took on the manner of a smug professor. "Obviously," she began. "The solution to your anxiety came to you because..." She stopped, enjoying the suspense she had created.

Blitz leaned in for a moment, properly enthused by her rhetoric. Yet the answer hung on the tip of her tongue as the seconds passed. After an extended pause, he sagged forward with his reserves of attention exhausted.

"Are you gonna tell me or wha-" He tried to speak, but his lapse in vigilance left him open to attack.

Dash knocked him to the ground, landing gracefully on her legs while Blitz was plopped onto his back, grunting. He went to lean forward and spit a few curses at his attacker, but found himself captured in her mesmerizing gaze from point blank. The words died in his throat, creating a very dumb sounding "Uhhh".

She held her spell on him for a few seconds, then laughed and relaxed her hold.

"You make it too easy, you know." She started to get off of him right before it was her turn to be surprised. She seemed to have forgotten that her mind wasn't one to let an act, whether it be one of affection or of humiliation, go unanswered.

While her front hoof rose up to take a step, Blitz swept a hind leg under both of hers, sending her tipping toward her remaining support. He deftly caught her and maneuvered her back onto him, but facing skyward.

"I can't be sure," he thought aloud. "But I think I get it now." He tightened his grip on her and turned his head to nuzzle her cheek. She laughed and made a feeble effort to squirm away.

"It got fixed," she said, "when you realized you totally wanted some of this." She motioned toward herself.

Blitz moved to her ear, smiling. "Nu-uh! You finally accepted that you wanted me."

"You wanted it more!"

"You wanted it just as much!"

The feigned argument went much like that until it devolved into laughter and shaking heads. Blitz noted that they had gotten distracted yet again. He wondered if they were even going to be practicing today.

"Alright," she said, forcing herself out of the stallion's grip with surprising strength. "Enough mushy stuff. Time to practice." She stretched out her wings, ready for flight.

Blitz faked a disappointed sigh. "Fine. Let's go."

They took off into the air to gather the background. The supply of clouds was holding up well enough. The wind wasn't terribly strong, but it was picking up. There were a few gusts that threatened to throw them off.

"From the top?" Blitz said, landing on his perch where they were to begin.

"Sure. Know what we're doing?" Dash challenged.

He shrugged. "It'll come to me."

Dash laughed. "Could you tell me when it does? I don't know either."

They crouched low to the cloud, partly because of the wind and partly because it looked cool.

"We've got this," Blitz said over the wind.

Dash nodded. "Yeah we do! Go!"

And they tore open the sky.

...

"Pinkie, I already explained myself twice. Why should I tell you again?"

"Because I wasn't listening!"

"Um, I didn't quite understand either. I'm sorry. Could you please tell us again?"

Rarity sighed, defeated. How could she say no to such a valid and soft-spoken request. Still, she wondered why she bothered. Pinkie may have had the upper hand in tic-tac-toe, but she was no match for the seamstress in a complicated game of chess. Who could blame her or Fluttershy for not looking five or six moves ahead?

And yet, it wasn't any less tedious.

"Of course Fluttershy, and there's no need to be sorry." She shut her eyes as if the plan was written inside of her eyelids. "You see, we can't just go charging head on into this. I had thought we could before, but she shut us out then. If we remove the pressure and ease the idea into her head, she is less likely to lash out and refuse. She might buckle under the pressure from stewing in her own thoughts."

The yellow pegasus nodded understandingly. "Oh, okay. I- I don't really need a clone, if that helps you girls at all."

"On the contrary, Fluttershy, we all have very practical applications for them. I need help getting business at the Boutique, Applejack could use a hoof with her trees, Pinkie..." She frowned. "Pinkie, do you even have a reason?"

The pink pony smiled ear to ear and shook her head. "Nope! I just think it would be fun! And I got gypped out of my clone fun last time!"

Rarity shook her head, dismissing any thoughts of Pinkie. That was the best course of action if one wished to understand something. "Nevertheless," she said, turning back to Fluttershy, "you arguably need one most of all."

"I do?" she asked, confused.

"Yes, dear. Far more lives depend on the work you do than on ours. You need help caring for all of Ponyville's creatures, big and small. That's why we are sitting in your cottage interviewing ponies to help you. Well, we're doing it so we can say we did, anyway."

A rustling came from the cottage door. The stranger must have tried in vain to bypass one of Fluttershy's many deadbolts. The poor fool. The elements of harmony only wished they were as well guarded as the shy pony's front door.

"I do believe that's our first applicant now." Rarity got up and strutted to the door, magically working on the locks before she arrived in the hopes of finishing beforehand. A lost cause, of course. It took another second to jiggle out the last few.

On the other side of the door was a off white Pegasus with even off-er white hair. None of the pony's coat or mane seemed to be naturally colored. There were patches where it appeared to have been scratched or ripped off. His cutiemark looked like some sort of lumpy cloud-like mound. His wings twitched absently as he nervously itched his arm, appearing as though it was taking considerable effort not to bite the offending area. His head was busy rubbernecking around as if he were being pursued by the government.

Rarity's warm welcome faltered as she took in the sight. Her years as a servant to fashion were screaming that this pony was tearing down what she stood for. There was some reluctance to allow this gentlecolt inside, let alone give him the chance to get the job.

"Er, hello sir. Can I help you?" Something in her voice suggested that she hoped the answer was no.

The stallion's eyes shot towards her as the words left her throat. Reactions like that would be good in the air force. Though, they probably have background checks there. He checked for secret agents one more time before turning fully to the unicorn.

"Uh huh. Yeah," he rasped. His voice was surprisingly high and disturbingly coarse. "There was a job. Here. Right? A job. I can get some bits?"

Rarity hesitated to answer. His appearance distracted her from whatever it was he was saying. The information was placed on the back burner to wait for her to finish judging every bit of this poor colt's fashion sense. That wiry mane clinging low to his head as if it were made of clay. Those wings with their split feathers sticking up all over. And, well, the teeth he did have did a good job matching his coat.

She lurched back into reality with a shake of her head. The information the stallion had spit out was waiting for her. "Well, yes. You may earn a modest compensation should you be chosen. M-may I ask your name?"

He sniffed forcefully. "Who wants to know!?" he shot back reflexively. A reeled himself back upon seeing the mare's shocked face. "Oh. Eh. It's uh... Weasel Dust."

"Weasel Dust." Rarity tested the name on her tongue. It was rather bitter. "Might I also ask what you do?"

Weasel Dust was busy craning his neck around her, trying to see inside the house. It took him a moment to realize he was being spoken to.

"What I do?" He nervously glanced at the quiet forest around him. The trees, the slow creek. The animals...

Right. Animals.

"Oh. What I do. Right. Yeah." He moved his scratching hoof over to his neck. "I uh, take care of weasels?"

"You take care...of weasels?" Rarity was less than convinced.

"Yeah. Sure. Love 'em. When can I get paid? I've got some- er- urgent bills." He chuckled nearly hysterically. "Those guys really don't like when I'm late on my payments. Heh heh heh."

Rarity slowly began to close the door. She leaned out to try and deter him.

"Thank you so much for your time Mr. Weasel, but the position has just been taken. Terribly sorry. Good luck with your bills Mr. Weasel. Ta ta!"

The locks were turned before the sound of the slamming door managed to reach Fluttershy or Pinkie. Rarity returned to the table with wide eyes and pursed lips.

"Who was that?" Fluttershy inquired, expecting to see her first applicant.

Rarity glanced at the door to be sure there was no way that thing was getting inside. "I do believe that was the subject of the majority of tomorrow's newspaper. You still read Crime Time, right Pinkie?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Every week. Last issue taught me all about pony trafficking!"

"Well tell me if you hear anything about a Mister 'Weasel Dust'."

"Will do. Oh! Can I get the next one? Please? Please please please?" She clasped her hooves before the yellow pegasus.

"Okay. Just, don't scare them away. I don't want to seem like an intimidating boss." The potential intimidating boss fiddled with a lock of her silky pink mane. Then she jumped at the abrupt firm knocks on her door.

"Oh! My turn!" The earth pony jumped up and skipped to the door. Without bothering with silly things like locks, she swung the door open.

The stranger on the other side was met with an unexplained flourish of confetti and a shockingly energetic lump of pink. Not that it did much to rattle her. Those feelings were swept away by the trials and tribulations of a stern upbringing.

Pinkie was unaffected by the ineffectiveness of her pep. "Welcome to the house of Fluttershy! May I take your coat?" Now that pleasantries were taken care of, she could finally take a look at the applicant.

The earth pony towered above Pinkie, looking directly at the doorway as if it were still closed. Her black mane lacked curls, waves, or any kind of deviation from a straight line. Firm muscle could be observed through her dark blue coat, adding intimidating ripples behind the large, flawless boot lying along her flank.

"I guess you're not wearing a coat. I mean, not a coat coat. Like a jacket. I guess I could take your real coat if you want. I know some ponies who like to take off their actual coats when they go inside anywhere. Normally they're locked in those cushy rooms though. Anyway, are you here for the job, Ms ..." Pinkie, oddly enough, trailed off. Then again, it was unlikely that she'd be able to guess the pony's name. The Pinkie Sense was powerful, but not that powerful. She drew out the "Ms" and extended her neck up until she actually dug her face into the dour pony's chest.

Without looking away from the doorway, she saluted and barked out, "Ma'am! Straight Lace! Ma'am!"

Looking up from the mountain that was Straight Lace's neck, Pinkie laughed and retreated, motioning to the doorway. "Please come in!"

Straight Lace did not relax. She simply nodded and took stiff, brisk steps into the cottage.

Fluttershy looked up from her seat and her tea only to see a creature much larger and less forgiving than most bears she knew marching toward her. Her gentle choking was insufficient to comically spew the drink all over.

Against the offending liquid, she rose and spoke to the goliath. "H-hello, Ms. Are you here for the caretaking position?" Something about the pony put Fluttershy on the defensive. It may have been her obscenely large hooves that were the envy of most tree trunks.

Again, she saluted and spoke as if she were still in the royal guard. "Ma'am! I would like to volunteer my services! Ma'am!"

The power behind her voice forced Fluttershy into her mane. Her shivering was enough to queue Rarity into taking over.

The unicorn took up a place beside the cowering pegasus, trying to console her. "Thank you for coming. Please have a seat Ms..."

She opened her mouth to yet again share her name, but Pinkie's head shot up from behind hers, eager to interrupt.

"This is Lacie! She's gonna take care of the little critters with you, Fluttershy!"

"Lacie's" eye twitched. Through clenched teeth, she muttered, "It's Straight Lace, ma'am." She calmly removed the Pinkie from her head. "And yes, I am here for the job."

That was all Rarity needed to hear. "Excellent. We'll just ask you a few questions and then we'll find out if you are right for the position. First, would you like anything to drink?"

"No, ma'am." Straight Lace took a seat opposite to the unicorn, causing ominous creaking from the stressed bench.

"Alright. Right to business. That's good. A strong work ethic and a commanding personality are essential to this task. Do you believe you hold these qualities?"

"Yes, ma'am. I graduated from the Equestria Military Academy and served several years in The Guard. I have been on the front lines of combat and survived the desert campaign in the lawless badlands, reining in everything from cartels to mobs to local regimes. I feel my experience will help me maintain order among any wild beasts I encounter."

She dictated her speech without a hint of feeling or pride. She was just stating the facts. The impressive, humbling, scary facts.

Rarity was not quite sure how to respond. Though, she knew for certain that taking note of all of the cottage's exits would be a very smart move considering the company.

She also knew that any attempts to try and unjustly dismiss this applicant would likely result in another article in Crime Time along with a particularly fabulous obituary slot.

That's when Pinkie came to the unexpected rescue, finding a seat on the other side of their yellow and pink host.

"Okay. So you can stop a critter coup. That's great." She examined her hoof, acting unimpressed. "But tell me, Lacie-"

"It's Straight Lace."

Pinkie ignored her. "Can you be fun?"

Straight Lace cocked her enormous head. "Fun?"

"Fun!"

"I- I didn't- I don't- why is that important?" A look of uncertainty adorned her face for the first time in years.

Pinkie was appalled. "Important? Important?! Important?!" She hopped up onto the table to press her face up against Straight Lace's.

"I'm... sorry?"

"Fun is the most important thing ever! Without fun, life is meaningless! Our lives mean nothing without fun!"

Straight Lace's lip started to shake. "I- I don't think I know how to make 'fun'."

"So how do you plan to entertain these little furry wurry itsy bitsy critters?"

"I- I don't-"

"Are you capable of doing what is necesary, soldier?"

Strands of the large Earth pony' immaculate black mane detached themselves from the main body, sticking up defiantly. She could feel another flashback to the war coming on. The hellish shrieking of the griffon fleets. The constant threat of Pie-E-D's. The knowing that, around every corner, another band of marauders waited to pounce on her. For a moment, she was a rookie again. Her throat went dry. The emotions came back. Sorrow, regret, hopelessness...

Fear.

Her eyes locked directly in front of her as she made a halfhearted salute. She was shaking visibly, ruining her image of a redoubtable earth pony.

"Are you?" Pinkie barked at her from behind a pair of sunglasses that weren't there a moment ago.

Straight Lace's breathing quickened. She swallowed. "No...?"

"What?! I can't hear you, soldier! You're gonna have to speak up! Are you prepared?!"

"No! I'm not prepared! I'm sorry, sergeant! I can't do it!" She stood up and started pacing the room.

Pinkie returned to her seat, confused. "Relax. It was just a question."

Straight Lace would be doing no relaxing. "Don't discharge me, sergeant! I'll clean the latrines! I'll do laps! That's it! I'll go to forty laps and then I'll clean the latrines! I'm a good soldier, sergeant!" Her steps rocked the cottage as she fled from the cottage. The thumping was coupled with repeated mutterings of "I'm a good soldier".

Rarity's jaw was several meters underground. Any deeper, and it would have required a mining team to retrieve. Fluttershy curled into a trembling ball when the yelling started. Pinkie just shrugged.

"Jeez. What was her problem?"

The unicorn managed to take a break from catching flies to stare incredulously at her pink friend. Fluttershy peeked out from her mane to check for signs of conflict. Her head emerged cautiously.

"C-can we be done for today? I don't really need help."

Rarity nodded, adjusting her hair. "Sure, darling. I think that was quite enough. I have, uh, things to tend do. I'll see you all later."

"Okay," replied Fluttershy softly. "Thank you for coming. W-we aren't doing this again, are we?"

The unicorn went wide eyed at the thought of conversing with more of Ponyville's unemployed. The thought did not appeal to her.

"No. I'm confident that our alternative will be successful. That is, unless, you want to check again..." Rarity gave an unconvincing smile. The pegasus shook her head wildly.

"Good," she said, relieved. "So long." She checked both ways upon reaching the doorway, then took off running for fear of crazy ponies.

Pinkie stood and skipped to the door. "I should go too. I need to go find this guy that owes me some bits. Bye Fluttershy! Hee hee, that rhymes!" The door shut behind her, but the talking continued.

The yellow pegasus took a few deep breaths to try and calm down. She decided that some nice, therapeutic brushing of little fuzzy animals was in order.

"Angel?" she called. "Could you come here please? I need you."

...

"Could you at least describe what the rest of the song sounds like?"

"Nah. It's pretty much the same throughout. Don't worry about it."

"But I want to know. I feel like I could perform better if I knew the whole thing."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at her clone lying next to her. She put a hoof on his shoulder , mock consoling him. "If you are that worried about it, we can fly back to Canterlot and ask to hear it again. Personally, I think we might even have to tone down our show so they don't kick us out for being professionals."

"Is that one of the rules?" Blitz asked, worried.

Dash shrugged. "I don't think so." She flashed a grin. "But they might make an exception for us."

The stallion smiled back. "I wouldn't put it past them."

She laughed and inched closer to rest her head on him. Few ponies could tolerate the amount of self praise she put out, let alone match it. It was fun, even if it was sarcastic half the time.

Dash could feel herself falling to sleep in that position. It was too comfortable. Even if they had gotten the routine down to a science on their first three tries, they couldn't just stop.

She grunted at the thought of getting up, but muscled through it. "Wanna go again?" she asked, pushing to her hooves.

Blitz blinked and picked his head up, surprised. Then he shrugged and lied back down. "If you think you're up for it. I wouldn't want to tire you out. Shouldn't we be practicing, though?"

Dash brought a hoof to her face. "I was talking about the show, stupid."

"Oh. I- um. I didn't mean..." He failed to find the words.

"We'll have plenty of time for that afterwards, Blitzy." An alluring smile spread across her lips while she captivated him in her stare yet again. She was finding this all too easy.

Blitz couldn't hide the longing from his face. His mouth hung partway open as if he were the victim of something much more desirable than a cockatrice.

Dash chuckled and released him. Walking over to the edge of the cloud. "Come on, dude. Snap out of it." She flapped her wings, gesturing him to hurry up. His wings flapped as well, though not voluntarily. He followed her into the air.

"I wish you'd stop doing that," he admonished, folding his forelegs like a foal who was refused a cookie before dinner.

"No you don't," Dash said back casually. She grabbed a cloud to set up for the background.

"It's annoying. First I pass out from remembering things, then I space out when you brainwash me. How do you do that even?"

"Well first, I smile a little. Maybe curving up on one side more than the other. I could flick my mane back a little bit. Then, I half close my eyes. Next, I-"

"I know that much!" he interrupted.

"Then why'd ya ask?" Dash asked, still amused by his confusion.

Blitz frowned. "Stupid, sexy, friggin'..." he grumbled, dispersing some excess clouds with an aggressive kick.

Dash snorted. Colts were funny sometimes. They were just so easy to screw with.

"Meanwhile," she said, stopping his frustrated mutterings. "What makes you think you'd be able to tire me out?"

Finally Blitz got his turn on the offensive. "Please," he said, motioning toward himself. "I'm amazing."

The mare laughed, rolled her eyes, and shook her head. "Sure. Keep acting cocky. See where that gets you."

Blitz made a resigning gesture. "Hey. I've liked where it's gotten me so far."

"And where is that?" Dash shot back without thinking.

Blitz bit his lip to hold himself back. He wasn't quite sure how to handle being tossed such an easy line like that. He made no effort to hide the thoughts from his face. "Where should I start?"

"Oh shut up!" she retorted. She tried to be offended, but she couldn't help but snicker at the suggestive banter. That was another thing she kept noticing. Matching wits always seemed to go well. Neither had the upper hoof for long, what with sharing a brain and whatnot. She often found the results of their joking around to be pretty damn hilarious.

"Come on," she said, landing in her position. "Let's get started before somepony gets punched."

"Feisty," Blitz remarked, finding his perch. Though, he said it under his breath for fear of actually getting punched. Gender stereotypes didn't seem to apply to them regarding physical ability. If she wanted to hurt him, she probably could.

Dash took a deep breath. She imagined the crowd waiting silently to be rocked out of their minds. She tensed up as a synthesizer groaned through her mind. When it stopped, her eyes shot open and she hit the sky. There was no need to even initiate it with words this time. Blitz practically shared the vision with her.

Polychromatic fire flared up behind them as the drums crashed in their ears.

...

Bakeries always smell like cakes and cookies, tempting one's nose as soon as they enter. It really saves them some trouble with convincing the customer. The sound of a growling stomach is about as revealing to a haggling baker as showing one's hand is to a card player. Almost every food establishment has this advantage. Where products are sold, it is likely they can be smelled there too.

Farms did not have this advantage.

It's not that the smell of fresh soil and grass doesn't have its own charm. It can be quite relaxing, actually. Just, that smell didn't really compare to a nice, sweet apple.

Applejack was given another whiff of wood as she leaned in to inspect the roots of the tree. It can't always be time to buck apples. Sometimes, you've got to grow them.

And they were definitely growing. The farmer could see nothing wrong with this specimen's health, which was rather surprising. The repeated attacks to its branches by a certain unicorn looked very severe at the time. Applejack had never seen such abuse since her visit to the northern lumberjacks.

She shuddered at the memory. It took a special kind of pony to put all that care into something only to cut it down for resources. She could never do such a thing to her trees. Her pride and joy. Her children. Her-

"Why do you stick you stupid little-!"

Applejack glanced behind her, as one normally does when a copious amount of obscenities is spat out with educated elegance in the middle of a serene slice of nature. There was also the issue of an unannounced guest snooping around flinging curses in the possible presence of a young filly who had yet to get her cutiemark.

She walked calmly around the trees to the source of the wailing, though it was easy to place the voice. Few ponies knew that many words for, well, you know.

"Ya know, granny woulda' tanned mah' hide if she heard me talkin' like that."

Twilight jumped at the interruption, hitting her head on a low branch. Sparing the branch of any curses, she turned to the farmer. "Wha? Applejack? What are you doing here?"

"Ah' work here, sugar cube. Ah' also live here."

The unicorn looked around like a filly lost in Canterlot. Surely, she had seen a tree before. "I'm in the orchard? How did I get here? A minute ago I was in the park..." She trailed off, trying to remember just what exactly brought her there.

Applejack laughed slightly. It wasn't the first time Twilight had wandered there, distracted by something. Although, those times she had been reading a book. The earth pony looked her over for any sort of article interesting enough to send Twilight on an afternoon walk. She found no books or even her saddlebags in which she stored her books. She seemed utterly unencumbered.

That's when Applejack noticed the to wooden blocks hovering in the air by the purple pony's trademark glow.

She leaned in to examine them. There didn't seem to be anything interesting about them, other than the fact that they were stuck together.

"Whatcha' got there? 'Nother one of yer' experiments?" She poked one of the blocks to move it away from the other, but only succeeded in sending it spinning.

Twilight gave up on her retracing of steps. She didn't even remember leaving the library. "Sort of. Those are duplicates and I'm trying to understand the Attraction between them. There is nothing pushing them together and they keep. Going. Back." She separated the blocks with each of her last words, watching angrily as the drifted back.

Applejack snatched them from the magic aura and gave it a try. The came apart easily, but went right back together without any help. "Heh. Pretty neat. Like them magnet things Applebloom used to play with. Can't say I've ever seen a wood one, though."

"Yeah, it's great and all. But why?" She failed to hide her agitation. Something about how she said the word suggested that it had been said rather frequently.

The farmer shrugged and hoofed them back over. "Y'all know better then ah' ever will 'bout that."

Twilight's head sagged forward. "Which is no use whatsoever. I have no idea."

"Ain't there anypony else in town that can help ya? There's got to be another science savvy pony in Ponyville other than you."

"I wish. But even if there was, I wouldn't be able to tell them anything. 'Oh hey, I made a spell that clones things. Also, ignore those two that look exactly alike over there. They're not related, but they definitely aren't clones.' No. I have to do it on my own. I just don't know what to do, though." Her stance portrayed absolute hopelessness.

Applejack scratched her head. "Ah' understand that yer' frustrated 'bout all this, but do ya' need to be this worried and upset? It ain't the end of the world if ya' can't figure out some silly little, eh, what did you call it?"

"Attraction."

"Right. Attraction." Of course, Applejack already knew the details of that phenomenon. It was the first thing she and the other girls discussed when they began their plot. "What could go wrong if ya' ignore it?"

The unicorn rolled her eyes. "A lot! First of all, Rainbow Dash is off in the mountains with herself as a colt doing Celestia-knows-what and she might not even want to!"

"Woah there sugar cube. Blitz don't seem like that kind of pony. Also, Dash'd give him a nice kick in the face if he tried anything without permission."

"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean that her feelings might not be real. They might think they like each other when it's really just the Attraction."

Applejack only shook her head and smiled. "Ah' understand that yer' worried, Twi'. You're a great friend caring about other ponies like that. But ah' don't think ya know Dash like ah' do. She ain't really the kind of pony that does somethin' cause she's told to. Heck, in my experience, she goes and doesn't do as she's told out of spite. When she follows directions, whoever's given 'em is probably on the up and up. Nopony seems to hold her respect unless they deserve it."

Twilight opened her mouth to refute the argument, but it worked faster than her brain, which turned up nothing. She'd been beaten, in her own language no less. The earth pony's logic, riddled with country speak, held as firm as one of her trees.

"There's still a risk," she replied meekly. It lacked the proof she liked to present behind any claim.

"I wouldn't worry about it, sugar cube." She patted her friend on the back. "What I would worry about is walkin' around without lookin'! This could just as well have been the Everfree ya wandered into!" Her grin was infectious, finding its way up to Twilight's face when she wanted to pout.

"Okay. I'll be careful. Thanks. Oh, and come by tomorrow before we head out to get your hoof enchantment. We don't need any other ponies falling of clouds." The smile didn't go away like she told it to.

Applejack nodded. "Ah'll be there. See ya 'round, Twi'."

The unicorn waved and set off down the path where she thought she had came from. Applejack waited and started a countdown from five in her head.

"...three...two...one...and-"

Twilight's head peaked around the corner, with her mouth ready to speak. She was silenced, however, by the farmer's hoof pointing the other way down the path.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

...

The duo ran through the performance over and over until it was almost boring. They could practically do it with their eyes closed, and did for one trial just for the hell of it. Fatigue had hardly begun to set in during their repeated exertions, as was expected from any sort of action that had been memorized and mastered.

The only reason they stopped at all was the sudden shortage of clouds. Who'd have thought that wasteful expenditure of a slowly replenishing resource could eventually deplete it? Evidently, not the two best weather ponies on the other side of the mountains.

The weather at the moment called for scarce cloud cover over Canterlot Valley. Really scarce. Like, one cloud. It held aloft a slightly deflated saddlebag and two violently shaking pegasi.

"I'm beginning to wish I packed a towel," Dash thought aloud. She tapped a hoof against her mane to check for moisture, which led her to yet again attempt to shake her mane dry.

Blitz was having similar issues, having resorted to spinning with his legs spread out to air out the water from their "bath" in the creek. All the while, the encroaching night threatened them with its chilling wind, made all too potent against their damp fur. They could have been done down there sooner if they hadn't gotten held up...

Ahem.

"I'm beginning to wish you warned me before I tried to dry off with the cloud," Blitz responded bitterly.

Dash rolled her eyes. "Sorry for thinking you were smarter than that. I'll remember next time."

"Who do you think I get it from?" He retrieved their sleeping bags and proceeded to spread them on the cloud.

"Don't try to pin it on me. It's not my fault colts are stupid." She returned her mane to its normal look with one more shake.

Blitz snorted. "Says Miss 'why don't we start making out in the water?' Cause that was such a great idea."

"You weren't complaining."

"Didn't get much of a chance to. You tackled me onto the rocks. Damn near cracked my head open." He didn't sound all that broken up about it as he slipped into his travel bed.

"Hey. You started it. You came up behind me trying to grab me. I just went along for the ride."

"Heh," Blitz chuckled. "Ride."

Dash joined in the laughter as she entered her bed. She tried to find a comfortable spot to sleep, which eluded her. There was some sensation of feeling too light on her shoulders, as if the bag was too big or the stuffing had been ripped out. Her tossing and turning led her eyes to Blitz's bag, which spun right along with hers.

"Oh yeah..." Dash said, shaking her head at her own lapse in judgement. She nudged over to her clone who still writhed in almost-comfort. "Dude. Open up."

He grunted. "Open what up?"

"The bag. We're not weird anymore, remember?"

A blank look washed over his face, closely followed by embarassed recollection. "Oh yeah," he said, rubbing his forehead. He then hastily unfastened the sack, allowing Dash to squirm in before he shut the night air back out. She, in turn, engulfed Blitz in her bag.

"Aw, dude. You're still wet," the mare noted while making no move to remove herself from his grasp.

He smirked and gave her a short squeeze. "So are you."

She met his look, and raised him a bit of mockery. "Pft. You wish."

He craned back his head and looked at her, astonished. "Was that a challenge?"

"Why would I even bother?" She twisted around onto her back onto him. "We both know I have the upper hoof in this relationship."

Blitz couldn't quite make out that the time to contest one's rank was not when the very attractive opponent was in bed with you.

"I've been meaning to ask," he began. "How come you always end up on top of me?"

She shrugged. "I guess you're just really submissive or something."

A growl escaped from the stallion's mouth. "If we didn't need to be flying tomorrow, I'd show you submissive." His breathing grew heavy and he traced his muzzle across her neck.

She flipped back to her stomach again, propped up by her forelegs on Blitz's chest. She leaned in, fiery confidence dancing in her eyes. "Don't let that stop you, Blitzy. I'll let you rest up before the show tomorrow." She snorted. "You'll need it when I'm done with you."

Far below the valley's remaining cloud, a mother owl looked up to the sky from her nest, not in awe of the meticulously placed stars or the dazzling light of the moon, but appalled at the primal sounds echoing through the forest. She knelt down to her hatchling and wrapped a wing around its ears. It was far too early to be having that conversation.

...

Time's Up?

"They dash astride of a rainbow, the light gleams an instant, then it's awesome once more... On!"

Graphs

***

Rainbow Blitz didn't remember falling asleep, nor did he remember waking up. Though, he paid special attention to what happened before and afterward.

Whatever rest the two pegasi had gotten must have been enough to abate their violent, tossing affections into a much more calm and relaxed embrace. The passion remained unaffected, however.

Blitz's head remained covered by Dash's, enforcing the mare's comments regarding "submissiveness" the previous night. Although, the tables may very well have turned several times over earlier if either party had been interested in the slightest about relative height.

Priorities, you know.

Dash retreated from Blitz's mouth back into the crook of his neck, giving them both what seemed to be their only break in quite a while. They donned self-satisfied smirks as they panted, never once releasing their hold on each other.

When their breaths evened off with a sigh, the stallion was the first to speak up.

"Damn," he breathed, adjusting his grip ever so slightly.

"Same," said Dash. She twisted onto her side, pressing her nose up against his chin. His quickened breath fed into her smug smile. "I always knew I'd be a stud," she said casually.

Blitz frowned, puzzled. "Huh?"

"As a stallion, I mean."

"Did you really?" he asked skeptically. Though, he may have only been fishing for unneeded praise. His ego, among other parts, did not need any more stroking.

Dash shrugged. "Probably. I mean, everypony thinks about it at some point. Maybe."

The answer was sufficient for the stallion. He laid his head back on the cloud. "Well what did you expect? I mean, all your sexy had to go somewhere when I was made, right?"

"Heh. I never thought about it like that."

"That's why they pay me the big bits."

Dash snorted. "I know your salary. They hardly pay you anything."

"Darn," he said with feigned disappointment. He leaned in to her ear, giving it a nuzzle. "Any chance I could get somepony to change that? I would be very thankful." His teeth closed gently around the tip of her ear.

"Mmm." She brought a hoof to her chin in a pondering gesture, seemingly unperturbed at the stallion's advances. "I would, but I just don't see anything extra in the budget. Sorry." She didn't seem sorry at all.

"Fine," he sighed. He proceeded to place her head back under his chin and rest his back on the cloud.

There was an unexpected problem with sky naps. A pony on the ground would be given the soothing image of lazy clouds drifting by, partially obscuring the shining sun, against the backdrop of empty blue. A high-altitude pegasus had no such luck. Sure, the sky wasn't going anywhere and neither was the sun, but it just wasn't quite the same without the kinetic element. Your eyes get all screwed up if you try to look directly into the cerulean void, lacking a point of focus and whatnot. There was also the lack of anything to block unfiltered light from drilling into your eyes.

Ground-bound ponies in balloons think the sight is beautiful. To jaded pegasi, it loses its charm awfully quick.

Of course, not all jaded pegasi sleep with companions. To Blitz, there was no need to open his eyes. What use is there in scanning the surroundings when the dominant focus in one's life is wrapped in your hooves? Why worry oneself with the distant and complicated when bliss was so obviously and conveniently within one's reach?

Close.

Warm.

Peaceful.

Gurgle.

"What?"

Guuuuuuurrrrrgle.

"Dude, is that you?"

Blitz sighed angrily. "Yeah." He brought a hoof to his face and shook his head. "I thought we were having a moment or something, but apparently my stomach says I'm hungry."

Dash chuckled. "Real smooth, dude." She rolled off of him and pushed herself to her hooves, releasing a few reluctant groans. "Alright. Let's eat. But we should probably check on the weather at home first. You won't be making any 'big bits' if you're fired."

"Fine..." He lethargically stood up, creating several loud cracks when he stretched. While his back arched toward the ground, a familiar weight descended upon him, nearly sending him back onto his stomach. He gasped and looked at the only possible culprit with indignation.

She made no apologetic gesture. "What? You're carrying the bag." She walked up to his side and prodded the load. "It should be lighter now anyway."

"Oh gee. That makes it so much better." He took a look at the imposing mountain between him and civilization and sighed. "Let's just get going."

"That's the spirit." Dash burst into a gallop and leaped off the cloud. "Try to keep up, dude!" she called back, already beginning her ascent.

"Hey! Wait sec- ugh!" Blitz winced at his wing caught on the taught straps. "Friggin' bag. Wait up!" He clumsily followed the sound of unrestrained snickering toward the mountain.

...

The clerk at the office had been overjoyed to see anypony show up, let alone ask for her services. She worked tirelessly to ensure that her product was spotless for the public to see when it was finally in use. Free advertising was always a good thing.

Not that many ponies want to rent a hot air balloon nowadays.

Twilight caused a bit of a spectacle, trotting casually through town holding a rather cumbersome dirigible in a bright purple glow with little apparent effort on her part. The magical heavy hitter could handle herself against the vehicle meant to be lighter than air. It was out of her league.

Next to the library sat four wooden pikes, driven into the ground in an even square formation. The balloons's ropes reached them perfectly when the basket was placed in the square's center. The order brought a smile to the unicorn's face as she secured the ties. She enjoyed the order.

With the balloon secure, she lifted a hoof to the air to check the wind. The air currents at a higher altitude could be better measured by visual examination of the clouds, but there were none to be seen within a proper line of sight. She could recall seeing one small tuft on her way to pick up the balloon.

"That is not partly cloudy," Twilight muttered. She went over the criteria for Ponyville's weather statuses on her way back inside. "Partly cloudy" consisted of at least fifteen percent of the sky being obscured by clouds. It would have been generous to call this one percent. That sunshine being left unabated through to the afternoon could wreak havoc on Ponyville's agriculture. All it would take was one day of her leadership in the Weather Patrol and the whole outfit would straighten right ou-

"Whaa!?" the unicorn bleated out right before her face became accustomed to the dirt outside her front door. The familiar sound of rustling paper could be heard beyond the ringing in her ears. She blew her bangs out of her face, along with some grass, and accepted the help of the scaly claw hovering before her.

"Sorry Twilight. Didn't see you there." Spike smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. In his other hand, he held a stack of what the librarian could immediately identify as official documents. There were so many signatures!

"Oh, no harm done," she said, though the taste of sod lingered in her mouth. "Where are you headed off to with those?" She eyed the papers in his hands.

Spike puffed out his chest proudly. "I'm headed off to the clinic. These are my volunteer forms." He held them out to her and flicked through the various pages. "Shot records. Personality profile. Qualifications. Criminal record. You know. All that stuff."

Twilight's head tilted sideways as a feeling of confusion caused her upper lip to shift upward and her left eye to squint. "What in Equestria got that idea into your head?"

"Should I list the books you shoved down my throat?"

"Oh would you stop with that? Some of those were important!"

"The Egghead's Guide to Brain Surgery is not important! Who wants to receive an amateur lobotomy?"

"Well you obviously liked them or you wouldn't be going out volunteering. Without asking me, no less." The unicorn's motherly side was showing.

"I happen to be a very altruistic dragon," he said. Then he added with his rebellious side, "Do I really need to ask you for permission to help ponies?"

Their gazes locked in a battle of will and control. Twilight clenched her teeth. A bead of sweat ran down the dragon's neck. The tension in the air was greater than that of the ropes securing the hot air balloon.

Without warning, Twilight's frown softened into a smile. She approached him and brought him into a not-so-gentle hug. "I'm so proud of you! Such a noble young dragon! Offering his hand in the field of medicine!"

"Twilight," he groaned, blushing.

"My little anesthetist!"

"C'mon..." he squirmed uncomfortably.

"Save it. I'm hugging you and that's that."

He endured the embrace for a few more moments before breaking free and scurrying off into the town. He felt eyes all around him despite the fact that there didn't seem to be anyone watching.

Seem is the keyword.

"That kid is gonna run away and never come back," said a voice from one of the library's branches.

"Oh, what do you know Dash? He's growing up so fast and I've been with him for almost as long as I can remember."

The voice mimicked a buzzer on some rigged game show. "EEHH! Wrong answer. Don't sweat it though, Twi. You're a good kid, so I'll give you another shot."

Twilight turned from the direction in which Spike ran off. "And just what is that supposed to mean, Rainbow Da-" She looked at the source of the voice and stopped. "Woops. I didn't recognize the voice. Sorry Blitz."

The stallion folded his forelegs. "Really though, do I sound that much like her?"

"Well, now that I'm paying attention, not so much. But you could probably pass as her if you tried. Speaking of, where is she now?"

He jumped down from his perch to the ground with a stomp, for no other reason than to look cool. "She went off to get some clouds for today's weather." He took a look at the sky. "Dunno why. It seems like a great day to me."

The unicorn glared at him. "She's getting them because today was supposed to be partly cloudy. What we have now is not cloudy."

"You sure? There's one right over there."

"Do you pay attention to anything?"

He considered the question for a moment. "Sure," he answered honestly. "Heck, I like to pay attention to plenty of things."

"I don't suppose your job is one of them?"

Blitz shook his head in near-disgust. "They call it a job for a reason, you know."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Because you have to do it?"

"Because it's boring!"

"My point still stands. You have to do it at some point. Now are you going to fill the sky or not?"

"Oh sure. Just as soon as..." He trailed off, staring past the unicorn into the sky, presumably at the only cloud in the whole town.

"As soon as what?"

Blitz turned his head back toward Twilight, though his eyes quickly resumed wandering past her. "As soon as Dash gets back with the..." His face contorted in an effort to keep from grinning.

"Yes, they're very funny," she said, running a hoof across her forehead. "Some ponies even see little bunnies in them. Most ponies also don't forget what they're called. Now go on. 'As soon as Dash gets back with the what?"

"The..."

"I'll give you a hint."

"The..."

"It starts with a C."

"The..."

"Rhymes with 'louds'."

"The..."

The word was said several times not even a minute ago and this frustrated Twilight to no end. How was it that a pegasus could possibly forget that name? Ridiculous. She could stand it when a neighborhood foal couldn't name the four fundamental forces, but this was absurd. She was just about ready to let loose with some scathing wit involving his palpable lack of intellect when a shriek from above her shattered that particular course of action while sending her stumbling forward.

"Clouds!" shouted the voice as Twilight felt herself being engulfed by about three cubic meters of condensed water vapor. It thankfully kept her face from yet another harsh meeting with the dirt, so it deserved some credit. However, this did not stop her from aggressively dispersing the cloud with hooves and magic alike.

It had gone away quickly enough, but her panic hardly cared that the threat had gone. She was left, in the clear cool air, flailing about like she was dancing. Waving her hooves in the air like she just didn't care, as it were. And she didn't. She truly did not care.

What she did come to care about was the chorus of laughter clearly directed at her coming from the two pegasi she had just noticed before her. There they were, actually falling over each other in amusement at the presentation of Twilight vs. The Cloud.

"You looked so ridiculous!" said Blitz, who was clutching his stomach from the pain of laughing too hard.

Rainbow Dash had appeared beside him, assuming a similar position while leaning against his shoulder. "That was better than your show at your birthday that one time!"

While they regained their breath, Twilight cast her scowl in their direction. She would have been much angrier with them had she not noticed that the sky had traded out its absolute clarity for some modest cloud cover. The order was restored and nopony was acting too stupid.

With things like OCD out of the way, she shook her head and felt a grin coming along. I guess I did look silly, huh? she told herself.

"Alright. Alright," she conceded. "You got me. No need to laugh yourselves to death over it. Pinkie might get upset with you."

"Why would I be upset?" asked Pinkie from right next to her.

A signal was sent to Twilight's brain instructing her to panic at the unexpected visitor. That particular department was under heavy load since the beginning of her life, so it had learned not to trust every signal. A brain cell sat in a cluttered desk with a red stamp marked "VOID". It slipped a few worthy causes to the higher-ups every once in a while, but everything that remotely resembled that pink pony received a swift and aggressive stamping.

"Never mind. I wasn't thinking."

"You're always thinking, silly!" Pinkie said with a pat to the unicorn's head. She then turned her attention to the pile of pegasus that was just beginning to stop laughing. Indeed, the situation deserved her attention.

"Hiya Dashie! Hiya Blitzy! Have fun in the mountains?"

Blitz shared a look with Dash, who was practically on top of him in his forelegs. Consideration passed wordlessly between them and a verdict was quickly reached.

"Oh yeah," Dash said with a grin.

"Tons," finished Blitz.

Pinkie pressed her face well within the pegasi's personal spaces with wide eyes. "Really?! Tons?!"

They nodded, about to burst into laughter again at both her obliviousness toward the innuendo and the aura about her that simply made any little act amusing.

"Tons," they said again.

"Tons?"

"Tons."

"Tons?"

"Tons."

Before Pinkie could ask again, she was yanked backward by a purple bubble on her tail. Meanwhile, Dash and Blitz were raised to a standing position and cleaned of any dust they may have picked up in their frenzy by the same purple force that lifted them.

Twilight cleared her throat to get their attention if she hadn't already by magically moving them. "They said tons, Pinkie. Several times. Now I think we best drop the subject before ponies start to stare."

"But nopony's around," the earth pony replied, confused.

"That's what I thought right before you appeared, literally, out of nowhere."

"But I do that all the time."

"Irrelevant!" She gave everypony one final magical pat to emphasize her point. "And meanwhile, shouldn't you two be heading over to the cloudiseum right about now?"

Dash shrugged. "Nah. It's kinda' early." She nudged the stallion next to her. "Besides, this guy won't stop whining about how hungry he is."

"Hey, I said it like once," he interjected.

Dash ignored him. "He was just about ready to start eating the grass on the way over here."

"Shut up."

"I think he even went in for a dive when I wasn't looking."

"Dash!"

"Had to spit out a worm a mile in the air."

"You're impossible," he concluded, annoyed. But that didn't stop him from reaching a wing out over her back.

Pinkie raised her hoof like she was in a class. Twilight, the natural born teacher, gestured to allow her to speak.

"If you're hungry, I could make you something. I still have to make snacks for tonight anyway."

Blitz's mouth watered at the suggestion, but sense took over for once. "I don't really think sweets would be good performance fuel. Sorry."

"Oh, but they are! They really are! Just look at me. I eat them all the time and I'm not tired!"

"But we're not Pinkies," Dash said.

The earth pony frowned with determination. "Okay fine. I'll let you all in on a little secret. It's my secret, though, so it's okay to tell you." She drew them into a huddle and checked both of her sides for eavesdroppers. She inhaled to begin speaking before turning her head 180 degrees toward Twilight to see if she was listening. The unicorn just stood there with a tired expression and a raised eyebrow.

"Okay. So. If you eat too many sweets you get sick, right?" The pegasi nodded, with matching looks of confusion and doubt. "That's true if you only eat too many. But, if you eat too too many sweets, you feel even better! Better than any healthy diet could make you feel. It's like having a whole bunch of little hamsters in your brain running on wheels to make you feel super awake! It really works! I Pinkie Promise!"

Dash was conflicted. This was one of the silliest and most illogical things Pinkie had ever said. However, Dash could not remember a time when anything upheld by the Pinkie Promise failed. Blitz wore a similar expression.

"So you're saying-" Blitz began before a pink hoof was shoved into his mouth followed by a stern shushing. He drew back his head with his tongue still out and cringed at the two pink hairs that remained on it. He wiped them off with his hoof, gave another look of disgust to his hoof, and wiped said hoof on the ground.

Resisting the urge to laugh, Dash picked up where she was sure her clone had left off. "So you're saying that we could have as much stamina as you if we just go to Sugarcube Corner and eat a bunch of desserts before we head over to Cloudsdale?"

"Of course not!" the earth pony replied cheerfully. "You would probably get unimaginably sick and throw up over and over."

Blitz wiped his mouth with his cleaner hoof. "But you just said that too too many sweets would-"

"Do you know how much too too many sweets is?"

"A- a lot?" Dash asked with uncertainty.

"A lot!" Pinkie agreed. "You would have had to have started ages ago. It's not just some thing you can get up and do. It's a lifestyle!"

Blitz was struggling to keep his composure. "So what was the point of telling us all of that?"

"To distract you while I picked up this pizza."

"What?" said both pegasi in confusion.

Lo and behold, on Pinkie's back sat a generic Pizza box, complete with a stereotypical mustachioed Istallion in front of a dilapidated stone coliseum. He was winking and everything. All parties involved were certain that it had not been there a moment ago.

Dash gave a tired sigh and trotted over to the box, where the smell of brick oven deliciousness engulfed her. Blitz cautiously followed.

"Do I ever get to know how she does this?" asked the stallion.

Dash shook her head. "No. You just get tired of asking after a while. So Pinkie, what have we got on this thing?"

Her pink tail slithered under the box like it was just another appendage and lifted it up to her side. "I didn't have much time, so I could only get a plain one. Whole grain crust, tomato sauce, cheese, garlic-"

"What kind of cheese?"

The earth pony brought a hoof to her chin and gave it a scratch, mentally cursing herself for forgetting her emergency beard. "You know, I never really asked what kind of cheese they use on these." She giggled. "He he. Cheese on these. Maybe Twilight knows. Hey Twilight! Do you know what kind of cheese they usually put on a pizza?"

The unicorn had turned her attention to the rather hazardous mass of cloud Dash had left floating over her balloon, taking off small bits and seeing how the wind affected them at different altitudes. "A chef could use any number of cheeses in a pizza, Pinkie." She turned toward the group and drew breath to continue, but had to process Pinkie's pizza beforehand.

"I turn away for one second and you manage to run off to the other side of town and get a pizza? Okay. I'll worry about that later. The most common cheese used in a pizza is-"

"Is it provolone?" Pinkie interjected.

"No. It's m-"

"Brie?"

"No. Moz-"

"Cheddar?"

"No!"

The pegasi started to grin at the spectacle. They sensed an opportunity for some serious shenanigans.

"Swiss?" asked Blitz.

"Nah," said Dash. "It's gotta be marscepone."

"If you don't want to hear it, that's fine by me," grumbled Twilight. Her pout betrayed that she was a little upset about being shut up.

Pinkie just went on with the bit, ignoring her. "You don't use marscepone cheese in pizza, Dashie! That would be weird!"

Dash shrugged her wings. "Well then I'm all out of ideas."

Blitz nodded in agreement and lifted the lid of the box, which remained suspended on a pink poofy tail. "I guess we'll never know." He licked his lips at the sight of the oozing cheese. He reached in with his mouth and tried to rip off a slice.

Whoever is in charge of cutting those things should be put on trial. They're never cut enough.

"Shun of a-" Blitz spat out a muffled curse through his clenched teeth and his lunch. A second slice clung to the one in his mouth, despite appearing to be perforated. "Effry damn time."

"How would you know, dude? This is your first pizza." Dash walked over and set about tearing the other piece away.

"I can't efen tell anymore."

She pulled her head back and sloppily ripped off the lingering slice. However, the cheese remained attached at the tip, creating a long strand between them. They shared a glance and wordlessly considered how to proceed. Their smiles became devious as they nonchalantly set about eating their slices from the opposite end.

Twilight knew a cliche when she saw one. In addition, this specific event had been worrying her for days. She frantically conjured a pair of scissors and snipped the cheese between them just as they began to lean toward each other. Both recoiled in surprise.

Pinkie pouted. "Aw. So close, too."

"Why don't you two finish your lunches and head over to Cloudsdale before it gets late. I'm sure there's all sorts of things to get set up before everything starts." Twilight set about cutting definitive gaps between the remaining slices before she dispersed her scissors.

Dash swallowed and almost answered, but all that escaped from her mouth was a deep burp. "Whew. 'Scuse me. It's not for a while, you know. We would look lame if we showed up too early."

"There's nopony you need to talk with before the show starts?"

"I mean, I guess we could talk with the other contestants. I actually have no idea who else is in this thing other than..." Dash trailed off with her eyes widening.

Blitz put a concerned hoof on her shoulder. "Who else? Are you alright?"

She immediately pounced onto him, pinning him to the ground by his shoulders.

"Dude! I totally forgot!"

"Forgot what?" Blitz asked. He found himself unable to complain about her tackling him. Only good things had happened in this position.

"The flyer! It said there'd be Wonderbolts! Spitfire and Soarin!"

His eyes grew wide as well. "Holy crap!"

"I know!"

"We should go."

"Like, right now."

Dash flew off of him into the sky. Blitz followed for a second, but doubled back to pick up the pizza box.

"Thanks Pinkie! See ya Twi!"

"Good luck tonight!" Pinkie shouted back. He may have been well out of range, though. Twilight just waved.

When they become colorful dots in the distance, the unicorn sighed and sagged forward. Pinkie approached her.

"What's wrong, Twilight? Did you want some of the pizza too?"

"No. I'm just afraid I won't be able to keep them from each other. The Attraction seems to keep influencing them. You saw. They almost kissed or something. I just don't want it to back them into a corner and force them into anything."

Pinkie just giggled. "Don't you worry about it, Twilight! It'll all be okay."

"You really think so?"

"Sure! I mean, they probably kissed a whole bunch of times already."

"...What."

"Well, they definitely went further than that. But I think it's safe to assume there was some kissing beforehand. Maybe even during. I guess it depends on how they were doing it. She's pretty flexible though, right?"

She went on with the colorful description. For some reason, Twilight was having trouble dismissing this as more Pinkie Pie silliness. She didn't sound like this when she was joking. And there were few times when she wasn't joking. These were genuine questions based off of the assumption that they...

Twilight shook her head violently at the thought, fighting off her blush. There was no way they went that far already. It'd only been four days. Nopony worked that quickly. Well, none of her friends, anyway.

No. She must have been wrong. However unlikely that was, it had to be the case.

"I-I'll see you later, Pinkie. I've got to, uh, look at the cloud walking spell one more time. Yeah." The unicorn walked stiffly toward her door.

Pinkie tilted her head. Somepony was upset. Or maybe she was tired. Hungry? Oh well. If Twilight had work, she probably didn't want to be disturbed by an aggressive cheering up. It could wait until later. "Okay. I'll go make us some snacks for the ride!"

"Alright. Bye." She didn't hear her. In fact, the earth pony was nowhere to be seen, in the distance or otherwise. But Twilight couldn't spare the energy to think about that.

They couldn't have done that already, She thought.

If they did, it's already too late.

Quiet on the Set

"Anyone can dash the rainbow when the sea is aweosme."

Graphs

***

Showing up early to an event has its advantages. There's no traffic, you can choose whatever seat you want, you can get all your snacks together comfortably, etc. It's generally a good way to do things.

However, it also has the unfortunate effect of ruining the illusion. For whatever reason, seeing the half-assembled equipment being roughly handled by bored workers kills the hype. Not all of the hype, mind you, but enough to notice.

One couldn't help but wonder how the complicated-looking turntable and the comically large speakers would be held up by a few clouds. Heavy duty magic would most certainly be at work when the grey earth pony finally let the burly pegasi put them down.

"To the left, you dimwit! Your short time in school taught you that much, correct?"

"We were just over there and you said that was no good," whined one of the workers.

"And then you moved it too far. Now, lets try moving a little bit. Not a lot, but a little." She made exaggerated gestures with her hooves to show just what was meant by "a little" and "a lot".

"Yeah okay, lady. Where do you want this thing then?"

"Place it so that the sound is equally distributed outward. If we're going to play that filth, then we're going to play it right. Now rotate this one a little to the left- that's this hoof- and you rotate the other one to the right. Do we understand?"

The other worker rolled his eyes. "Honey, I didn't sign up to be treated like this by some-" The words were lost as a chunk of cloud engulfed his face. He shook it off to see the mare lower her back leg from a kicking position.

"Finish that sentence and you'll be singing falsetto. Now move it!"

Dash and Blitz sat off on the other side watching the spectacle, trying to keep their laughter from carrying across the acoustically sound Cloudiseum. This particular experience could be counted as an advantage of early arrival.

"Holy crap," breathed Blitz between laughs. "She's awesome."

"Totally," agreed Dash. "Those stage guys should know what they get when they cross a mare." She eyed the stallion suspiciously.

"Hey. Don't look at me like that. I didn't cross anything." Just to prove his point, he brought his hooves far away from each other around the back of his seat. One hoof just so happened to land around Dash's shoulders.

She dropped the look and rested her head on his shoulder. "I know."

At some point during their exchange, the grey mare must have been satisfied by her underlings' efforts or too thoroughly pissed off to bear them any longer. The blue pegasi caught the tail end of her rump as she trotted into the halls of the Cloudiseum.

"Well there goes the entertainment," said Blitz, pouting.

"It was getting old anyway," replied Dash. She hopped up and gave her back a stretch. "C'mon. Let's take a look around. Maybe somepony else showed up by now."

Blitz snorted as he got up and followed. "Doubt it. Nopony else has Twilight on their backs. They're probably out practicing. We could have gotten another run in too."

"Like we need it. Are you feeling nervous or something?"

"I dunno. I have no idea who we're up against. Who else is in this thing?"

"Well we've got Soarin and Spitfire for some kind of opening act or speech or something. I guess that girl might have advertised a little. It could be anypony."

"Anypony?"

"Maybe not anypony, but these competitions are usually kind of diverse." The mare chuckled as she recalled a memory. "This one time, I saw a Royal Guard veteran, a girl scout, and a unicorn with wooden wings at the same event."

Blitz popped a grin. "Seriously? One after the other?"

"One disaster after the other. The vet got tired half-way through his act, the girl scout had to go to the bathroom, and the unicorn's wings fell off and sent him plummeting to the ground."

"No way! Did anypony catch him?"

"No. But this one was held over water, so it's all good. Except, I think he still has the mark from the belly flop."

Blitz cringed and felt a sympathy pain crawling around his stomach. "Rough."

"And wet," added Dash.

They wandered around the structure in search of anything to occupy them. The bathrooms proved to be less than interesting. Same for the lockers. Nopony aside from the occasional pegasus staffed to set up the stage could be found and listening to how magical speakers and screens worked failed to entertain them.

"When does this thing start?" asked Blitz impatiently.

"Uh," she searched for a clock. "Over an hour? Really? I'm sick of this place already."

Blitz's ears drooped. "Maybe something's going on outside. Let's find a window."

They scoured the narrow halls for a gap in the wall. They considered just poking their heads through. It was just a cloud, after all. Pegasi generally frown upon that, though.

At last the duo found an open window and lo and behold, there were no flocks of ponies approaching the stadium.

"Agh!" groaned Blitz as he fell melodramatically to the ground. "I can't sit here for another hour! I'll go insane!"

"Hang on, dude. I think I see something."

"If it's the janitor again, I'm flying away. He's so creepy!"

Dash rolled her eyes and dragged his head out further over the ledge. "That's Vinyl down there. We can chill with her until everypony gets here."

"Oh. Sweet. Let's go."

Dash and Blitz had had enough of the catacombs of the Cloudiseum and those who wandered it, so they opted for jumping out of the window instead of another grueling search for a door. Again, frowned upon by pegasus society, but less so.

After a soft landing on the platform that encircled the structure, they approached a table outside the main entrance. A white rump and an obnoxiously bright blue tail protruded from under it, shaking back and forth as the pony rummaged through her equipment. She was muttering something angrily.

"Myeh! Vinyl, you need to get your equipment set up. Myeh! You should keep the workers in line. Myeh! This spell better not wear off or I'll blah yadda whatever. I swear, if she wasn't so cute I'd-"

"Uh, Vinyl?" interrupted Dash. The unicorn consequently shot her head up into the table with a painful sounding thunk.

"Goddamned son of a-" she bit off the curse and ran a hoof across the back of her head. "I'm gonna feel that one tomorrow." She looked over at the pegasi with her eyes possibly spinning behind her purple shades.

"You alright?" inquired Blitz.

She waved a hoof. "It's all good. I've taken worse hits. So what's up?"

"Do we need to check in or something?"

The DJ grinned sheepishly. "I really don't know. Ya see, they gave me this box," she said as she levitated a medium sized crate onto the table, "and I didn't really look through it all. Supposed to be like paperwork or something stupid like that. Cloudsdale is insane with this bureaucracy!"

Dash nodded. "Tell me about it. You don't even want to know the hoops I have to jump through to make a tornado."

"So yeah. Let me check." The unicorn took out a stack of the neat paper, immediately scattering a few on the cloud floor. She began to mutter the title at the top of each page right before crumpling it and throwing it back into the box.

Just as she almost filled the box with her trash, she smiled. "There it is. Sign ins. I dunno, just write your names and head inside. There's a lounge set up."

"Seriously?" Dash exclaimed. "We were in there forever and didn't see any lounge."

"Yeah. Right in the lower level. Should have a big star on the door."

Blitz's face had grown confused. "Hold up. There's a lower level? I thought that was just a thin net or something down there."

The DJ shook her head. "Nah. They had to add a full on basement. Something about somepony almost dying or whatever. They got off of paying a whole load of cash by promising to build a safer stadium."

"Lame."

"Totally. Meanwhile, why are you two so early?"

"My friend Twilight would't stop telling us to go," said Dash. "She was about to have a nervous breakdown."

"Ah. One of those ponies. Well you can just put your name down and head in. The others should get here some time soon. Although I wouldn't count on every one of the entries having an anal friend like that." She pushed over the wrinkled document and a pen.

Dash signed and hurried toward the door. "I'll go check if anypony's inside."

"Right behind ya," Blitz replied, spitting out the pen. He made to follow her, but a white foreleg stopped him.

"So," Vinyl drawled. "How'd it go?"

Blitz cocked his head to the side. "What are you talking about?"

"You are not that clueless! I'm talking about you two!" She pointed at him and the door his clone just entered. "How did it go?" she repeated. She looked a but too excited to hear, seeing as she was not involved whatsoever.

"Oh," Blitz said, smiling sheepishly. "Well, what we did out there definitely wasn't right..."

The DJ's face fell.

"...but it felt amazing!"

The mare laughed and slapped his back. "Nice!"

"You helped me out, though. Thanks."

"Ah, don't mention it. It's my job to bring random ponies together."

"Really?"

"No. But it happens in my club all the time, so I might as well take credit for it. But enough of me. Get in there!"

"Heh. Yes ma'am. See ya later."

Blitz trotted inside in search of this fabled lounge, leaving Vinyl alone to perform an act loosely resembling organization. She glanced up from her work to check for incoming contestants, but nopony was approaching. She thought she saw a red streak, but further examination, even without her shades, proved fruitless.

"I definitely should have waited until it this thing started before I started drinking," she mused, returning her attention to the table.

...

Slightly earlier...

The pegasus mare fought to keep her hoof in the mouth of her struggling companion. He should have figured out how to read into unspoken signals like an intelligent pony.

Nopony ever accused this stallion of being excessively intelligent, however.

"Keep it down!" she whispered rather loudly. "They might be watching!"

The stallion spat out her hoof and set about trying to unpin himself from the cloud. "What the hell, Spitz?! What's your problem?!"

"Rainbow Dash!"

Surprise replaced the anger on the stallion's face. "What?"

"The Rainbow-freaking-Dash is over there! Now keep it down!" She usually saved her sternness for the rowdy rookies at the academy, but this was an exception. Image was very important to the Wonderbolts, and it didn't help that the entire team fell in love with her moves, if not her, upon seeing their first sonic rainboom.

Soarin stopped struggling and moved his hooves to his mane. "Holy crap! She's here?! Does my mane look okay? I didn't bring anything! Aw jeez, I have to go back and pick up some flowers or chocolates or-"

The mare's hoof planted itself back into his mouth as she took a cautious glance behind the cloud at the rainbow dots she could perceive from this distance. "Stick a pie in it, hot shot. We've got to play it cool. I don't want you to embarrass us in front of somepony with her talent." Then she added with mild resentment, "How come I never get flowers or chocolates?"

He again removed the hoof. "What are you talking about? They're for me so I don't say anything stupid. I just know I'm gonna sound like an idiot the second I say anything to her. I can't even hide behind my uniform this time!"

Spitfire rolled her eyes. "Don't you have your goggles?"

"Those don't block my face!"

The mare released him and took up a spy-like position next to him with her back to the cloud. "I know we have an agreement and all, but do you have to make it so obvious that your crushing on her?"

"You don't get to talk until you apologize for cutting me out of my picture with her."

"I liked the dress! I just need an example to show the seamstress. How was I supposed to know you had an obsession?"

"You don't wear dresses. It's just been sitting on your desk next to the pictures of your family for weeks now. And meanwhile, you said it was fine if I act like this. I get to drool over her and you can have a free pass to crush on somepony else." He took a look over their cover

"I don't think there's a stallion alive that would drive me your kind of crazy."

"Maybe she's got a brother or some guy that looks like her?"

"Yeah, okay. This deal is ridiculously one-sided."

"Well then you shouldn't have agreed." He drew his head back around the cloud sharply. "It is her," he breathed.

"I was drunk!"

"We were all drunk! I managed not to agree to anything stupid."

The mare grunted and punched the stallions shoulder lightly. "If I didn't know this whole thing was hopeless for you, I might be jealous."

"It's nice to know you believe in me."

"You know what?" she said, floating over to pin him to the cloud. "I think you don't like her as much as you say. Most normal ponies save this kind of attention for celebrities."

The stallion looked away and fought off a blush. She pressed rather closely up against him with scarcely any room between their muzzles.

"Sometimes I like to pretend you don't have complete control over me," he muttered.

Spitfire chuckled. "Well that's just silly." She pushed up closer and leaned into his ear. "You should know better," she whispered.

Soarin sighed, defeated, and added his own effort into the embrace. Though, he couldn't possibly have brought her any closer. "I'll stop if you want me to. Not like it's serious or anything."

"Hmm. Nah. It's fun to watch." The mare laughed again. "Remember at the gala?"

"Oh come on!"

"When you shoved your face into a pie as soon as she came close?"

"Shut up!"

"I wish you had shut up that night. It was all moaning promises to never eat again. I was trying to sleep."

"And I was deathly ill!"

Spitfire rolled her eyes and pushed them both deep within the cloud. "Oh quit your whining. You got better. Now come on and help me clear out this cloud. We'll buckle down here until some more contestants show up."

"Why don't we go now?"

"Do you want to risk letting her know how we think? We've got an illusion to maintain."

"Fine," Soarin murmured, somewhat upset at missing a chance for some relatively secluded time with Rainbow Dash. "Say, did you catch if she was with anypony? No reason for her to hang around this early unless she's in this thing."

The mare frowned and tried to recall. "No. Maybe they already went inside? I could barely see her in the first place."

"Huh. I wonder..."

...

The lounge was surprisingly well equipped, considering the rather dirty conditions of the other sections of the stadium Dash and Blitz had visited. Of course, those were the bathrooms and lockers. Public bathrooms and lockers, no less.

There was no want for places to sit. The walls were practically lined with luxurious blue sofas.There was a fancy looking mirror, presumably for makeup and costumes. On the walls where there was not couch, there were large monitors currently showing the empty center of the Cloudiseum. Speakers were installed in the corners near the ceiling.

Seeing as the room with the most potential to entertain failed to do so, the colorful ponies set out for the sofas.

"I definitely thought this would be more fun," grumbled Dash as she climbed up onto the corner, placing her hooves behind her head and stretching out along the cushions.

Blitz followed and hopped onto the perpendicular side, resting his head on her waist. "It hasn't even started yet. I bet it'll be fun when somepony shows up."

"I guess you're right."

They both decided they would do no more than shut their eyes. Wouldn't want to be groggy for the show, right?

One nap later, the turning knob of a door woke them from their pleasant but untimely slumber. As they reluctantly opened their eyes, a modest crowd of winged ponies filed in, seating themselves in pairs in various parts of the room.

"What happened to nah..." Dash's question devolved into a yawn. "...to not sleeping?"

The contagious yawn continued to Blitz. "Not my fault. You're too comfortable to lay on." He scanned the now populated room. "Oh hey. Everypony's here."

"Hm? Oh, sweet! Let's go check 'em out."

The pair walked about the room, examining the crowd. The contestants all seemed decently talented. There wasn't a senior citizen or filly scout among them, at least. Each pair kept to themselves, likely trying to keep the others from learning any secrets about their acts. Whispers and suspicious glances were exchanged rather frequently.

Dash paid them no mind. She could care less what everypony else had planned. It wouldn't hold a candle to her performance anyway. What she did concern herself with was the lack of any sort of numbering of each pair of pegasi. The flank of every pony in the room was unobscured by a white card telling when they would be up.

There was definitely trouble when Rainbow Dash is upset about a lack of order. She wouldn't put it past Vinyl to forget that detail and hold up the whole show.

"What do you think?" asked Dash.

Blitz frowned. "I dunno. They don't seem too bad. It shouldn't be a curb stomp, at least. Anypony here I should know?"

The mare scanned the lounge again. "Nah. I don't know any of them either."

"Good. No headaches."

Dash's face morphed into one of weary anger. "I wouldn't count on it, Blitz."

He was about to ask why when a brown stallion stepped into their path. He had a beige mane styled like it was forty years ago and a gray weight on his flank. What was worse was his expression.

Cockiness.

Just as Blitz processed his appearance, his brain funneled a few more words into his thoughts. The first was his name: Dumbbell. The second was "Jackass".

"Well if it isn't Rainbow Crash," the stallion said in the most annoying tone possible. "I didn't know amateurs were invited to this thing."

"Didn't I already kick your ass in the air twice, Dumbass?" Dash droned.

"It's Dumbbell!" he shot back angrily. "And I'm convinced you cheated last time. I know all about your unicorn friends. Magic is cheating."

The mare closed her eyes, picturing herself crushing his head. This soothed her anger, but it elevated her desire to fulfill that thought.

"A few things. First, magic is the reason we can do most of our stunts. Wings house the magic in pegasi and make those trails the talented ponies can leave. I guess you wouldn't know about that. Second, my friends don't cheat. Third, I don't cheat. Lastly, do you honestly thing I would need to cheat against you?"

As the brown stallion went red in the face, Blitz burst into a fit of laughter at his expense. He offered Dash a hoof, which she promptly bumped. She allowed herself to grin at her verbal victory.

"Just what are you laughing at? Who the hell are you anyway?"

Blitz reined in his composure and answered with a grin of his own. "My name's Rainbow Blitz, and I'm laughing because she just kicked your ass again."

"Nobody asked you!"

"Yes you did, jackass." He turned to Dash. "Seriously, you lasted how long with this idiot?"

The mare squinted, trying to remember. "A few years, I think. Only during school, though. He never could make it out of the factory. Never had the wings for it."

"Says the dropout!" responded Dumbell. As if that would win the argument.

"That place was holding me back. Unlike you, I have the skill to work on my own."

Dumbbell growled and took a menacing step forward. Dash smirked at her success in provoking him, about ready to explain just where his organs would be after she rearranged them.

However, almost instantly, Blitz stepped in front of her. He didn't wear a taunting smile. His face didn't contort as if to say "Seriously?". He stared Dumbbell dead in the eye with the coldest look ever created by Rainbow Dash's mind.

"Back off," said Blitz with bared teeth.

Dash put a hoof on his shoulder before it started raining red below the Cloudiseum. He softened at her touch, but still gave the brown pegasus the evil eye.

The bully smiled at his success in provocation. There were a number of ways he could have capitalized on it. However, he stuck to his most reliable technique. It had served him well each time it was used.

In high school, that is.

"Pft. Relax, Rainbow Hiss. Getting a little touchy there. What are you? Her boyfriend?" He raised his chin, staring down his nose at where he expected Blitz's embarrassed face would be.

The blue stallion eased out of his fighting stance and pondered the question. "I don't actually know," he said. He turned to Dash. "What are we?"

Dumbbell was nonplussed. His flawless teasing had failed! "Wha?"

The mare shrugged. "I dunno. Do we need to name it?"

Blitz shrugged as well. "I guess it'd be good to know, probably."

"I don't feel like it."

"Neither do I."

"Hold up!" interrupted Dumbbell. "You are?"

Blitz grinned at him. "Well we're something." He looked over at Dash. "Or else you're the friendliest pony I've ever met."

The Rainbows shared a bit of immature laughter. The other stallion could only shift uncomfortably.

"Aw! He's blushing!" Dash exclaimed, leaning against her double.

"No I'm not!"

"Yeah you are dude," Blitz explained. "So where's your partner? You got a lady friend?"

"Not really, but my-"

Dash snorted. "His mom, maybe."

"Oh! Damn. There should be a first aid station that can help you with that burn somewhere around here."

"Nice. Alright. He's had enough. Let's go see if the Wonderbolts are here yet." She walked on past Dumbbell, who still sat dumbstruck at the dramatic reversal of the conversation.

"Right behind ya," answered Blitz as he followed her. "See ya later Dumbass!"

"I-it's Dumbbell," the bully murmured feebly at their backs

It would have been nice to walk away from that unpleasant pegasus and continue to explore the now populated stadium. However, fate had other plans. Before the Rainbows could make it very far, another contestant stepped into their path.

Dash froze, holding out a foreleg to stop Blitz beside her.

"Crap," she whispered dejectedly. "Stay still."

"What is it?" Blitz said, frowning. "Is he following us or something? I swear I'll knock his teeth out if he takes one more look at y-"

The stallion's threat was drowned out by the appearance of the pony that had been in their path right between himself and Dash. She had an aqua colored coat, an orange mane mostly slicked back leaving a few spikes in the front, and a cocky grin. She would have looked a lot like Dash had he not been a near exact copy of that particular pony.

"Rainbow Dash! How's my old cadet buddy doing?" The mare spoke with energy unreciprocated by the sky blue pegasus under her foreleg.

"Fine, Lightning Dust. What are you doing here?" Dash asked with a flat look and poorly veiled annoyance.

The aqua mare laughed through her teeth and rested more of her weight on Dash's increasingly unwilling shoulders. "So hostile. Are you still upset about the academy?"

"You nearly killed my friends!"

Such a drastic claim warranted some investigation by Blitz. A search of his mind yielded vague memories of vigorous exercise and some reckless behavior by that particular pony. It turned out, she did almost kill a few of Dash's, and therefore his, close friends. So she was already a step towards "enemy" in his mind.

Lightning Dust sighed and rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I got caught up in the competition and I wasn't thinking."

"I'll say," Dash responded.

"Alright. Can we be cool now? Everypony's fine and it's no use being angry when we should be partying!"

Dash was hesitant to accept the apology, considering how superficial it seemed. Lightning didn't seem like the kind of pony that poured her heart out, however. Dash decided to give it up and stop the grudge. It had worked out fine a few days ago, allowing her to regain a childhood friend. And she was right. Tonight was supposed to be a good time. A grudge would get in the way.

"Fine," Dash said. "Just watch out for my friends next time you decide to start up a tornado." She held up a hoof for bumping.

Lightning hurriedly bumped it. "Got it." She stepped out in front of her new not-enemy and looked over to the stallion that had been eyeing her suspiciously and silently throughout the encounter. "Now that that's settled, who's this guy? You holding out on me with some family? We could have used some competition at boot camp." She inched closer and brushed a hoof up his chest with a mischievous smile. "Is he any good?"

"I'm Rainbow Blitz," the stallion said, taking the cue without the hint. "And yes."

Dash put a foreleg around him much like what Lightning Dust had done to her. "He and I are gonna win this thing." The gesture came out vaguely possessive. Vague enough to fly right over the heads of everyone involved. That would explain the spiky hair.

Lightning Dust stepped back but leaned her head back in to inspect him. She was, as the children would say, "all up in his business". He unconsciously shifted his weight so as to be ready to flee.

"Rainbow Blitz, eh?" She gave him a once over and looked around at his wings, giving a slight nod of approval. "Alright. Looks like we got a show then. But, just so you know, me and my partner are winning tonight. So don't get your hopes up too high."

Dash raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Who will you'll be flying with to beat us?"

Lightning frowned and began scanning the room. "I let him loose in here. Said he saw somepony he wanted to talk to. I knew I should have kept track of him. Ah! There he is." She looked past the Rainbows to where they had just been standing. "Yo Dumbass!" She beckoned with a hoof.

Dash and Blitz turned their heads, curious as to who this "Dumbass" was. However, all they saw was the bully they had effectively told off shuffling reluctantly toward them. They were about to ask where her partner was when something clicked between them. It was a nearly audible click, even.

"No way," Blitz whispered through his grin. "Those two?"

"I guess so? Yeah. He's definitely coming to us," his double whispered back.

"You don't think they-"

"Nah. Not her type. Or his either."

"What type is that?"

"Well he totally wouldn't go for somepony better than him. And believe me, she is. And her, she's too intense to go for a schoolyard punk. Too much insubordination."

"Unless she whipped him."

Dash nodded in agreement. "That would work too."

As much as they would have enjoyed continuing to gossip behind ponies' backs, or in front of their faces for that matter, Lightning and Dumbbell met each other in front of the Rainbows.

"So that's why you're here," Dash remarked. The brown stallion gave her a bitter glance.

"You two know each other?" asked Lightning.

"Since school. We were just talking before. Right, Dumbass?"

Blitz snickered. Dumbbell growled.

Lightning continued unperturbed. "Well since you're so familiar, you should know you don't have a chance."

Dash snorted. "What? Because of him?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" ~~Dumbass~~ Dumbbell said indignantly. Blitz appeared by his side and nudged his shoulder. When he looked, Blitz just shook his head in an effort to tell him to be silent.

"We've been practicing," Lightning went on, eyes closed in a smug manner. "And we're pretty damn good if you ask me."

The rainbow maned mare rolled her eyes. "Please. Like you're the only one that practiced. We did too. And then we had it down early, got bored with it, and had enough time to just screw around afterwards."

Literally, Blitz's mental voice added. Instead of punching it, he gave an inward laugh and hoof bumped the voice. Judging by the concealed laughter on Dash's face, he guessed she had had the same exchange.

"Whatever. We'll show you tonight just how good we are. Come on, Dumbass! We're reviewing." Lightning walked in a huff past Dash to the far side of the room.

The would-be-bully sighed. "It's Dumbbe-" he began. However, his partner gave him a glance and a sharp nod of the head. "Okay. I'm coming..."

As he shuffled along to his partner, he heard the distinct sound of somepony mimicking the cracking of a whip. He saw behind him the rainbow pegasi throwing their hooves forward, completing the pantomime.

...

"That was so awesome! I could never tell him off like that alone. Thanks."

"Hey, no problem. He needed to be knocked down a peg. I'm a little more worried about that mare."

"You think she can beat us?"

"No! Not at all. She was just... touching me. I dunno. She was all weird."

"Aw. Don't worry Blitzy. I'll protect you from the big bad filly. Now show me on the doll where she touched you."

"Oh shut up!"

Two pegasi pressed their ears to the wall outside the lounge. Thankfully, the walls were thin and clouds are pretty terrible at blocking sound. You can talk just fine in fog, right?

"I hear her. That's definitely her," Soarin whispered.

"Of course you can pick her voice out of a crowd," Spitfire scolded.

"Like you couldn't," he shot back.

"Whatever. Who's she with?"

"She called him 'Blitzy' or something."

"The hell kind of name is that?"

"Go ask them."

"No. We don't want to get run over by fans."

"Not today, anyway," the stallion added. Their ears returned to the wall.

There were no hoofsteps coming from the room. Plush floors and whatnot, you know. So it was rather surprising when two ponies came through the door a few feet from where two celebrities were spying on a crowd of civilians.

Spitfire's famous nerve didn't forsake her. Her crouched stance and ear on the wall quickly morphed into the casual and bored posture one would expect from a celebrity at a comparably small event. She still leaned on the wall, but the act of examining her hoof pulled it all together.

Soarin nearly fell on his face.

Dash and Blitz didn't notice the Wonderbolts next to them right away. Fate had them turn the other way as the exited the door. The yellow Wonderbolt motioned to her partner to follow them with her.

"Follow my lead," she mouthed to him.

The celebrities crept quietly behind Dash and Blitz until they stopped at an intersection in the hallway.

"Maybe they're not coming until later," Blitz said.

Dash pouted. "Well that would suck. We came early for nothing."

Spitfire halted Soarin with a gesture. Just as the Rainbows were about to continue, she straightened and spoke in her strict academy voice.

"ATTEN-TION! ABOUT FACE!" she bellowed.

Dash and Blitz wasted no time processing what they heard. They immediately backed up into the wall, backs stiff and right hooves out on their foreheads.

Spitfire gave them a moment of tense silence in their salute. She made use of the time by examining the stallion, a stranger to her, who had just obeyed her without question or delay. However, she didn't quite fully form that thought. Instead, she found her eyes tracing all over the stallion to collect anything useful about him. She did have to keep an eye out for good flyers in her line of work.

Strong legs. Rainbow spiky hair. Lightning bolt cutie mark. Strong legs. Nice wings. Legs...

It took her longer than she was proud of to notice that she was biting her lip. She also failed to notice that the stallion she was ogling looked a lot like the mare that had so awed her and her team.

Soarin meanwhile took in the comparison, grew bored of it, and turned his attention to his entranced partner. He nudged her back into Cloudsdale for fear of the silence weirding out Rainbow Dash. No need for more awkwardness to be associated with him by the multi-colored mare.

Spitfire shook her head. What the hell was I just doing? she thought. Thankfully, the similar pegasi appeared to still be at attention without any onset of the "starstruck" or whatever it is that the children called it. So she pulled herself together and went on with the plan.

"At ease, Dash. The boot camp act gets dropped off the academy grounds."

Dash sighed out of the salute and turned to her idol. She then realized that her idol was in front of her and had a small breakdown in her head. Nothing was shown on her face though. Even the slight widening of the eyes was transformed into a cool nod of acknowledgment.

"Heh. Alright. Ya kind of drilled it into our heads back there. It's instinct now. So where have you been?" Dash was rather relieved that her voice wasn't shaking from the shear force of her heart.

"Thought we'd lay low at first. Don't want to get bombarded, you know? Anyway, who's your friend?" Spitfire took the opportunity to check out the stallion again. Tastefully. Her eyes only glazed over a little bit.

He was growing tired of introducing himself, but he'd endure if it meant talking to Spitfire of the Wonderbolts.

"Call me Blitz," he said, putting on a smile that he prayed was not awkward looking.

"Blitz," Spitfire said, using an excessive flourish of her tongue. "Well this is Soarin and I'm-"

"Spitfire. I know." When the mare appeared surprised, Blitz smiled and scratched his neck. "I'm a big fan."

He's a big fan. Holy Celestia, he's a big fan! He knows me! This is so cool. The thoughts were thankfully not portrayed on Spitfire's poker face. She could not, however, manage to continue speaking.

When she did not talk, Soarin stepped in. But not before a dirty look was sent her way. "So, are you two here for the show?"

"Please," Blitz scoffed.

"We are the show," Dash finished for him.

Soarin nodded, grinning. "Alright! The crowd won't be disappointed tonight. Think you could manage to leave room for us, though?"

Their moment of arrogance was cut short. It took a lot of Dash's concentration to keep from sputtering. "Wait, what do you mean? Aren't you just giving an opening act or something?"

"Opening act?" The stallion waved his hoof. "I'll leave that to the rookies. We're competing like everypony else. Right Spitz?"

Spitz. Spitz and Blitz. Heh. It flows. I like it. That could be our celebrity couple name. Spitz and Blitz...

"Spitfire!"

"Hm? Oh. Right. Yeah. We're just like everypony else." She wasn't quite sure where the conversation had gone in her moment of absence.

Blitz's eyes popped up at the news. They were now not performing for the Wonderbolts. They were competing against them.

"Oh! Is that why you two aren't wearing your suits?" Dash asked with the same expression as her double.

"Yeah," Soarin answered. "Those things sort of just draw attention. Meanwhile, you'd be surprised how many ponies don't recognize us without them."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. In reality, a lot of the admiration we get is just for the suits. They like the group, not the ponies."

"Well that sucks. You guys should do a show without them, then. You deserve to be noticed!"

Rainbow Dash wants me to perform for her without clothes on. Soarin swallowed hard, longing for a protective layer of clothing between him and that mare. For his sake.

"We can't do that," interjected Spitfire now that she saw that her partner was the one with the dirty thoughts. "They're enchanted for us."

"Enchanted?" asked Blitz. He was starting to get used to talking to them. They were just ponies, after all. No reason he couldn't be cool about it.

"Yeah. They alter our trails to make them look the same. It helps with synchronized flying when there aren't too many colors flashing in your face. You could see how that might get complicated in groups."

"I guess. So does that mean we get the unfiltered experience tonight?"

Spitfire mustered a grin. "Oh yeah. You'll get to see everything." Her eyes immediately widened.

That sounded bad. That sounded really bad. Oh crap. How do I get out of this. Uh...

Before she could panic about the implications, the intercom interrupted them. A low quality, yet soothing voice managed to squeeze in the word "Attention" before being drowned out by feedback.

"Ack! Dammit Vinyl! What did I tell you about checking the hardware! What? Oh. Ahem. My apologies everyone. Would all contestants please report to the lounge for instructions? We are just about ready to begin."

Feedback once again echoed through the stadium as it was shut off.

Spitfire sighed in relief at the diversion. "I guess we better get going. Come on Soarin."

"Yes, boss," he answered, following her.

"I hope you guys are ready," she said to the Rainbows behind her. "'cause we aren't gonna go easy on you."

Dash glanced at her exiting idols and then at her partner. "I'm ready," she remarked casually. "You?"

Blitz put his foreleg on her neck and smiled. "What do you think?"

They shared a quick hug and followed after the Wonderbolts. Not too quickly though. Wouldn't want to seem to anxious.

A little ways before them, Soarin bumped into his partner intentionally.

"Drool some more, why don't you," he whispered indignantly. "What happened to the illusion?"

"Shut up!" she shot back. "I'll figure it out. And I don't have to answer to you about how I act with him."

"Why's that?"

She whipped her tail at his rear end, eliciting a tiny yelp.

"Because I've got a pass."

...

Author's Note

What's this?! Rival love interests?! I sure hope this doesn't cause miscommunications among our ponies. That wouldn't be fun at all...

Who am I kidding? Of course it would.

Overture

"Either you dash the rainbow or the rainbow dashes you."

Graphs

***

The contestants were still trickling into the lounge at a maddeningly slow pace. It was the opinion of the event's co-host that there be a bullet point on the flyer telling everyone to arrive early.

To which Vinyl Scratch replied, "Dude, why?"

For two reasons. "Everyone" because there were other flying creatures in Equestria that were not necessarily equines. Second, so this exact situation would be avoided. Cloud walking was just starting to catch on, so not all pegasi were too comfortable with earth ponies and unicorns invading the previously unreachable heavens, even if their hoofhold was precarious at best. There were mumbles amongst the the crowd. "Weird" and "earth pony" were popular terms to bring up, evidently.

"Typical," remarked Octavia under her breath with a roll of her eyes.

Not only were they concerned with the species of their co-host, but they were also perplexed by her demeanor. Flight competitions were dominated by those laid back types who couldn't bring themselves to care about messy hair, manners, or bathing. The prim and proper pony before them could only be described as culture shock.

The mare counted down with each head that entered. She'd gone and remembered their final turnout just for this occasion. Somepony had to be the organized one, and it sure as hell was not going to be Vinyl.

Just four more. Aaaand there they are. Finally. Octavia cleared her throat and waited for everypony to quiet down. One brown pegasus in particular would not cease his jabbering. A quick dose of the evil eye put a stop to that, however.

"Good evening, everyone," said the grey pony with the melodic voice from atop a box. "I'm glad we could all make it. We've got a number of things to take care of before the show can begin, so just give me your attention for a bit. The issue of your flight order will be taken care of with our opening, a twenty lap race around the stadium track. Each pair must decide who will fly and who will wait with the audience. The one who finishes first will perform last, second will perform second to last, and so on."

The room erupted into whispers, presumably concerning which pony would be flying. Of course, they may have simply taken the time to chat now that their supervisor had permitted them to speak. Pegasi just love to run their mouths.

"You wanna do it?" asked Dash.

Blitz shrugged. "Doesn't really matter to me. Pretty sure we're on the same level."

"Do you think you'll have another fainting episode?"

"They don't seem too bad anymore. Just little headaches when I see or think something. I'm not too sure though."

"I'll take it, then. Wouldn't want you falling all that way."

"That would suck," he said, nodding.

"No water down there either."

"Yeah. Yeah. I get it. Could of done without that thought."

Behind them, two ponies listened inconspicuously to the discussion. Despite their popularity among the crowd, Spitfire and Soarin managed not to be noticed by any more of their supposed fans. It's not as if the mare's bright yellow coat stood out in the sea of vibrant colors, but one might expect at least a couple ponies to pay attention to faces.

They couldn't bring themselves to care, though. They were too busy frantically agreeing with each other.

"I'll do it!" whispered Soarin hurriedly.

At the same time, his partner murmured, "You should do it!"

"Yeah. Your part is a harder than mine. You should save your energy."

"You're always good at these distance races."

"Alright."

"Mhm."

Their eyes darted around the room, avoiding each other's like the plague.

The blue stallion's head sagged forward. "This is messed up, isn't it? I mean, we're drooling over those two!"

"At least it's both of us," said Spitfire with uncertainty.

"It doesn't help if we're both equally crazy," deadpanned Soarin. "Plus, what if they're together?"

"That's gross! They're, like, brother and sister or something."

"How do you know?"

She gave him a flat look. "Look at them and tell me they're not related."

The noise was starting to die down. It seemed their chance to speak was coming to a close.

Spitfire looked her partner in the eyes. "Okay. I won't get in your way if you don't get in mine."

He nodded. "And if it doesn't work out for either of us, we don't have to talk about it ever again."

"Pft. I don't mess up."

"Shut up with that. You're just as nervous as I am."

"Please. I'm hot and famous. Why would I be nervous?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Ok. Then lower your wings. Unless you're getting ready to go fly, in which case you won't get to flirt with Rainbow Blitz."

The mare's face scrunched up as she looked back at her back. Sure enough, her wings were standing at attention.

"Dammit."

She sat down on her haunches and took a deep breath. Slowly but surely, the offending appendages retreated to her sides.

"Fine. So I'm feeling like a starstruck schoolgirl. You're no better."

"True, but I know to flex a muscle when I start feeling one of those coming on. Keeps everything under control."

"Stallions are disgusting," she muttered, not quite as victorious in that discussion as she would have liked.

"Love you too, babe," responded Soarin cheekily. He then found Spitfire's hoof where his lungs should have been.

The talking luckily lasted long enough to cover up his wheezing. As the remaining conversations were finished with nods or rolling eyes, Octavia prepared her next bout of instructions.

"The one participating in the race will follow me in a moment. The other will be free to move about the stadium. Next, I have a few guidelines for you all. Should you not place how you would have liked in this competition, whining will do little to improve your rank. Acts of sabotage will be punished as swiftly and severely as legally possible. Seeing as you all signed the waivers, that leaves for quite a bit of wiggle room there."

Her strict gaze swept over the colorful sea of heads below her. The sound of fearful gulps was clearly audible.

"You may not make changes to your selected soundtrack. The rights to use those songs were painful enough to obtain with several days notice. When your performance is finished, you will exit the stage. Despite the audience's cheers, they do not, in fact, want an encore. I do believe that about covers everything. Any questions?"

"What is this? Kindergarten?" one stallion muttered.

Octavia's eyes immediately shifted to the speaker. They conveyed enough ice to make the center of Celestia's sun livable. "Excuse me?"

"I-I," the victim stammered. "I mean, when is this starting?"

The earth pony's smile told him he would be spared a painful demise. "Why, I do believe it has just begun."

...

One might think leaving an expensive dirigible alone on a cloud with nothing but a few ropes to keep it there is foolish. And they would be justified in thinking that. Despite the idyllic appearance of Equestria, crime was not unheard of. If something was left in public and made easy to steal, odds are it will not be there to meet its owner in an hour.

But Twilight didn't worry herself with that statistic. She figured that a bunch of pegasi would have no use for a flying machine. It would also be difficult to stow away a stolen hot air balloon. Safe in that logic, she had no problem leaving it on the clouds surrounding the Cloudiseum.

The numerous wards, alarms, and tracking spells placed on it also helped with her insecurities.

"Come on, girls!" squeaked her pink friend. "It's gonna start soon!" She hopped haphazardly about the nebulous trail they were following to the gates. Behind her trailed a trio of spare party balloons tied to her tail.

Conversely, one of Twilight's other habitually ground-bound friends crept forward with the utmost caution.

"I simply don't see how you can be so carefree up here, Pinkie! We must be higher than the Canterlot peak right now!" Despite her apparent concern, the white unicorn refused to blemish her appearance with an unsightly parachute. She made the decision to come naked and she intended to stick to it.

"Aww. Ain't that cute. Ya'll gone and got yerself a fear of hights," quipped her farming friend who confidently trotted past her.

"I don't recall you having experience falling from the sky. Forgive me if near-death experiences have an effect on me." Rarity was having trouble discerning the plush texture of her path from potential pitfalls to Equestria's surface.

"Don't ya trust Twilight? 's not like she was the one that melted yer wings mid-flight."

The aforementioned unicorn intervened as was customary when those two were in close proximity. "Now now. Enough bickering. Rarity is right. Some semblance of caution is important when using any spell. Also, this is the time of day when things start to get hard to see."

Behind her, Rarity most certainly did not stick her tongue out at Applejack. That would have been uncouth. There's no way that Applejack got a good look at the fashionista's tongue. And even if she did, nopony would ever believe it.

"But you shouldn't let it worry you," the librarian went on. "We're here to have a good time!"

Applejack did stick her tongue out. Definitely.

The only pony biologically equipped for traversing the nebulous terrain hovered beside her friends' narrow walkway. "You seem much more positive tonight, Twilight. Are you okay?"

She sighed and looked down at her hooves. They sank quite a ways into the cloud before magical tension snapped into existence with each step. "I've just had a lot on my mind recently. I can't do anything about it but forget it, so that's what I'll do."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" asked Fluttershy, feeling concerned.

"No!" Twilight shot back too quickly. The pegasus was nearly knocked out of the sky by the force of the response. "Sorry! I mean- no I don't want to discuss it right now. I'll deal with it some other time. Or hopefully never. But we're having fun tonight! Right?"

Oh yes, thought Rarity with a devious grin. So much fun. The grin was then interrupted by a particularly deep step that sent her stumbling.

She felt a bit less terrified when she and her friends set hoof on the stadium entrance. If anything could convince a builder to ensure safety in their structure, it was a potential lawsuit. A second potential lawsuit, that is.

A tired and distracted teenager took their tickets and let them in. He seemed incapable of showing them to their seats, seeing as he answered all their simple questions with an uninspired "Huh?".

"I was asking," Twilight said through gritted teeth. "Where we could find our seats."

He blinked four times before finding the will to answer.

"I don't know," he said without moving his mouth much. It ended up sounding like "Ah-un-oh".

Rarity hurried them along before somepony got bludgeoned to death. Either the hapless teenager at the hooves of Twilight or their group at the hooves of the impatient crowd.

"By the looks of this operation, it seems we can simply pick any seat," the white unicorn said as she produced a hairbrush from Celestia-knows-where and put her fellow unicorn's hair back into place.

Pinkie began to jump up and down. Or rather, jump higher. "Oh! Oh! Let's go to the front row! We'll be able to say hi to Dashie! We might also get to see somepony else crash!"

"Um. Yes. Well..."

The pony posse skipped the stairwell and headed straight for the archway toward the arena. The roar of a thousand conversing ponies grew until it was impossible to to hear Pinkie's babbling. Okay, not impossible, but one was capable of ignoring it.

Pegasi of all colors dotted the stadium. Some held signs or painted letters to spell out words of encouragement or derision. There were many more seats than Twilight had remembered seeing at the Best Young Flyer competition. No longer were the seats simply clouds scattered around the center. Those appeared to have moved inward to be used as props. Now wide terraces of seats accommodated the large crowd that was slowly pouring in.

"Oh, this is much nicer," the yellow pegasus shouted only because nopony could hear her otherwise. "We don't have to hop around to get a seat."

"But," added the farmer. "We ought ta hop along to the front before we get stuck with a spot on the moon. C'mon girls!"

They trotted gingerly down the steps to the lowest and smallest ring. Sadly, they found it blocked by lengths of red rope. A sign hung from it saying, "Contestants only".

"Now why in Equestria would they do that?" complained Twilight.

The other unicorn nodded. "Indeed. I thought the contestants would be flying or waiting to fly within the stadium. This certainly is odd."

"Well what did you expect?" asked one stallion behind the ropes as he turned around. "Us VIP's need to be able to jump right into the action." He briefly turned away before turning right back again. "Oh. Hey girls. Glad you could make it."

Pinkie waved her hoof frantically in the air as if it would be hard to see it. "Hi Blitzy! Hi Dashie!"

Rarity gently pulled the earth pony's foreleg back to the cloud. "Dear, Rainbow Dash isn't there. Hello Blitz."

Indeed. He was alone and taking advantage of that fact by spreading his forelegs out behind the neighboring seats.

"What?" Twilight said in a loud voice that was luckily justified by the background noise. "Where is she? Did something happen?"

I told them. I told them something would happen. Do they listen? No, of course not. They think Twilight is crazy! Well is she crazy now? Dash probably crashed into a ditch and this jerk left her there. When I get my hooves on him, I'll-

While she had her mental breakdown, Blitz shook his head, smiling. "Nah. Everything went awesome. She's just gonna fly for us in the opening event. Probably over at the pit stretching."

"Oh," remarked Twilight feebly. She was both relieved that her friend was not hurt and disappointed that Blitz was not a crazed hitpony. It would have saved her a lot of grief. "Well. I hope you had a good time."

"Don't worry. We had a great time." His grin would have been telling to any competent pony whose mind spent an hour or two in the gutter.

Pinkie laughed, Rarity and Applejack shared a glance, and Fluttershy hid her face.

Twilight was a tad too distracted to get any sort of innuendo being thrown her way. Best let that little remark go over her head, lest she cover some hapless creature below with her vomit.

"Oh phooey," the white unicorn complained. "Here I thought I could entertain myself a little more teasing you."

Blitz shrugged. "What can I say? It got boring. And then really fun."

"Fer y'all, maybe." Applejack cantered around her friends and took a seat. "File in, everypony. Ah think they're gettin' ready."

A yellow blur flew by them as they sat down, nearly kicking off the farmer's favorite hat. It stopped on a dime and gently floated down to the seat next to Blitz. She plucked a piece of popcorn from her red and white striped bag and tossed it into her mouth.

"Did I miss anything?" Spitfire asked while chewing.

"Nah," Blitz answered. "I don't think we'll ever get started." He looked over to her and pointed to his mouth. The mare responded by throwing some of her popcorn into it. "Thanks."

This time, the members of the pony posse wore identical expressions. Expressions that said "Did I miss something?".

Rarity leaned and whispered into Twilight's ear. "Since when did he get so chummy with a Wonderbolt?"

Said Wonderbolt inched a little closer to Blitz than she needed to be. There was plenty of room in the roped off section. So why would she go so close as to practically lean on him? He made no effort to move his forelegs.

"I have no idea," the purple unicorn answered.

Just as quickly as Spitfire appeared, another blur shot past Applejack. This time, the hat came off and a glare more powerful than a thousand suns was shot from it's owner to the back of the culprit's head. Unfortunately, it only made contact with yellow, messy mane and not eyes that could feel the awesome wrath directed at her.

"'scuse you," the mare practically growled.

Lightning Dust turned around, confused. Nopony was paying much attention to her save for the one that looked like she wanted to kill her.

"What?" she asked. Her face didn't seem to look apologetic.

"Mah hat," Applejack said flatly, maintaining the evil eye.

The pegasus examined the top of her head, confused. "You're not wearing a hat," she concluded right before turning herself forward.

Applejack rolled her eyes. It seemed this one had the awareness of an overcooked biscuit. Still scowling, she picked up her hat, dusted it off, and replanted it on her head.

"Some ponies just don't know how ta act," the farmer said to her purple haired friend. Then she squinted at the varmint. "Say, ain't that the pony what nearly got us killed at that Wonderbolts Academy?"

Twilight frowned and searched her memory. Indeed, this pony's face was burned into her mind with the caption "Life Threat".

"Yes. Yes she is," the unicorn whispered. "But what is she doing with Blitz?"

Rarity chimed in, having noticed that Lightning was inching rather far under the stallion's free foreleg as well. "I'd say she's butting in," she muttered. "He's a bit too attractive for his own good. Careful, Blitz."

"Naw," Applejack said across Twilight. "Y'all don't think he's samplin' the herd, do ya?"

"I certainly hope not, but just look at him."

"He ain't payin' attention ta them. I'd be surprised if he even notices."

This was true. He hadn't called either of his companions to sit with him. Both had asked and he allowed it.

"He'd better tread lightly, or else we'll have to have a long chat about loyalty."

Twilight was getting uncomfortable being caught in the crossfire of the very sort of conversation she was hoping to avoid. It was hard enough accepting that certain ponies might be involved with certain other ponies. It was another issue entirely to have to witness her friends discuss it.

Their pink friend blew through clenched teeth and extended lips at them. "Shh! It's starting!"

Twilight blew out a sigh of relief. No more of that, hopefully. "Thank you, Pinkie," she whispered.

"Shh!"

And so they shushed.

...

The lights moved momentarily from the clouds floating lazily around the arena to a table set up on the innermost ring, where the host, Vinyl Scratch, and the grey earth pony from before sat with microphones before them. The unicorn focused on a monitor set up in front of her while the earth pony took a microphone in one hoof and read from a paper in the other.

"Good evening, everypony!" she said. Her voice boomed loudly and clearly to even the furthest members of the audience. If there was one thing the to mares could agree on, it was that sound quality was important. Unfortunately, there was only that one issue to agree on. The rest resulted in not-so-kind-hearted banter. "Welcome to the... ugh. Do I have to say it?"

Vinyl turned from her monitor, agitated. "Yes! Just read the script, Tavi! I read it over and everything!" Her voice came through quieter, but audible enough for the audience to hear.

"That does not reassure me, Vinyl. You never were good at writing."

"If you don't read it, I'm posting that painting I made outside of my store."

"What painting?"

"You know. That one of you on the couch with your hair down and-"

A thumping sound reverberated through the stadium as the microphone collided with the unicorn's head. However, Octavia returned to her refined posture before Vinyl's head hit the clouds.

"As I was saying, welcome to the, Laser Light Showdown. Ugh." The way she spoke suggested that those words had caused her physical pain. "My name is Octavia, and the pony lying on the floor next to me is Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl, why don't you pick yourself up and tell our audience what they're in for?"

The DJ grumbled and climbed back onto her chair. "Yeah yeah. Anypony ever tell you that you hit like a filly? I've taken bigger hits from a sip of hard lemonade."

"The audience is listening, Vinyl."

"They haven't learned to tune you out yet. Ow! Stop with that! Fine fine. I'll do it." She grabbed her microphone in her magic. "Alright everypony, how we feelin!"

A modest roar answered her, fueling a fierce grin on her face. She nodded and beckoned to the crowd to continue. Octavia, meanwhile, clutched her head in pain.

"Alright! Glad to hear it. So is Tavi. Right Tavi!?"

"My head..."

"Heh. I told her to go easy on the wine, folks. I swear. Anyway, thank you for coming to the Laser Light Showdown! We've got to do Equestria's flyers some justice with a competition that's actually worth bragging about. Is everypony hype!?"

Their yells indicated that they were, in fact, hype. That, or they were growing impatient. Maybe both.

"Before we start, I hear we have some special guests in the audience. Those Elements of Harmony are with us tonight! How 'bout that?"

"Not the Elements, Vinyl. Just the ponies that wielded them and saved our skin a few times. Thank you all for that, by the way."

"Yeah. That was pretty sweet. So, just for you, we'll set our opening event to a song in your honor."

"Oh, is this that Danny Byrdle fellow? I can tolerate that one."

"You know it, Tavi. Don't get your hopes up, though. This is the closest thing to your tastes we'll be getting to tonight. Some of these ponies seem to have the right idea about music."

"You mean noise? I'll get my earplugs."

"Go for it. Meanwhile, let's get this party started!"

...

The racers launched from a hole in the clouds into the air. The jumbled mess of flying equine quickly filed into a safer line circling the stadium, varying from one to three ponies thick. It was suggested by Octavia in the beginning that they be placed in an orderly line beforehoof, but they were smushed flank to flank in that damned pit. Two members of the crew quickly set up a checkered finish line along the safety floor of the stadium.

Skill levels became apparent almost immediately. A few contestants that hardly managed the takeoff were left cruising uneasily at the back of the pack. The majority got themselves together and pushed on in the crowded center. The upper crust managed to pull ahead and out of the melee of shoving. They were the skilled flyers.

And then there were the pegasi that finished three laps in seconds only to slow down and trail the twice-lapped stragglers. Among them were Rainbow Dash and Soarin.

They seemed to have come to the same conclusion regarding exerting themselves. Seeing as the majority of the competition had been left in whatever dust may have accumulated this high above the ground, they could just take it easy for most of the race. After all, sprinting through the air for twenty laps would be stupid. Not hard, just stupid.

Dash rolled onto her back, reveling in the sensation of flight. She'd spent far too much time cooped up in that stadium. The cool night air rippled off her feathers pleasantly.

"Oh yeah," she said without any lost breath. "That's the stuff."

Soarin grinned a few feet behind her, flying at what would have been breakneck speeds for anypony that didn't speed for a living. He could have kept up his previous pace for much longer, but the chance to just chill with Dash was too much to pass up. The view wasn't bad at all either.

That being said, he still found himself awestruck at her skill. Soarin had to remind himself that this peagasus wasn't just some jawdropping bombshell, but she was also right on the same level as himself and his fellow professional flyers. She pulled off the same speed as he had without even streamlining her body. She couldn't have looked more unprofessional, and that just made her look even cooler.

"I wish more of our shows were at times like these," he said hesitantly. "This just feels better than sweating to death in the sun."

"Totally," she responded. It still felt odd to be just chatting with Soarin of the Wonderbolts as if it was nothing. No big crowd around to block her. No bodyguards threatening magical electric shocks to supposed "obsessive" fans. It was like they were just normal friends.

And in recent times, she'd become very comfortable in the field of friendship.

The song had barely gotten started at this point. A smooth synthesized melody slowly built itself up while drums thumped speedily through everypony's ears and hearts. Perhaps a normal pony would finish one lap just as the song kicked in.

Despite his wishes to hang out and talk with Dash, Soarin had done little but fly nearby while watching her. Now, this was no trivial or boring occurrence. On the contrary, he could do so all night and be happy. However, he felt like trying his luck a little bit.

I'm not stupid with mares. I can do it. Just say something.

The stallion opened his mouth to speak. He really wanted to, too. But nothing came out. Then the wind flowing directly to the back of his throat caused a minor choking fit. When he looked up, he found not the mare he was crushing on, but some brown stallion trying desperately to pass him. Dash was already a ways beyond him.

Okay, what the hell is he doing? Soarin thought. His form was awful, his strokes were inefficient, and his mane could not be salvaged by the best of hairdressers.

"Dude, are you trying to get yourself killed?" he said to the panting pegasus.

"W-ha-what?" the stallion answered through heavy breaths.

"Because you're going to pass out any moment now. That is, unless you don't crash into something before that happens." Upon further examination, the stallion turned out to be the one he'd seen talking to Dash in the lounge. She was laughing. He was not. The word "Dumbass" was thrown around a lot, followed by him insisting that it was "Dumbbell".

"Sh-shut up. What do you know?"

You'd be surprised, kid. The Wonderbolt shook his head, smiling. "So are you gonna tell me why you're killing yourself trying to win the warm up?"

Dumbbell rolled his eyes. However, the movement caused his flight to waver. He wobbled like a blank-flanked foal that tried to fly to high. "Because if I don't beat her," he motioned to Dash who stole glances at his pathetic struggle, "my partner will never let me hear the end of it!"

Soarin gave an understanding nod. "I can relate. But don't you think she'll be more pissed off if you're too tired to actually compete?"

"Wah? This? This is nothing. I could-" He swallowed and the momentary lack of air elicited several gasps afterward. "I could do this all day."

"Right," he said, trying not to laugh. "You do realize that her and I are at least two or three laps ahead of everypony, right?"

Dumbbell managed a feeble grin. "Not-ha-me. I've kept up this whole time."

That would be impressive if you could stand afterwards.

"Uh huh. 'scuse me for a sec." Soarin accelerated a bit to catch up to Dash. He now had a topic to discuss with her!

She looked back it him catching up. "You were lagging behind back there," she noted.

"I was trying to get that guy to not hurt himself. He a friend of yours?"

"Pft. Sure. We go way back." She wasn't even being sarcastic. Not at all.

"Yeah. I figured. Well it looks like he really wants that final spot on the stage."

She grinned. "Yeah. I bet it would just break his little heart if he couldn't get it."

"Ah come on Dash. That's cruel. Why not just let him have it?"

Dash gave him a skeptical look. "Why do you care about him so much?"

"I don't, really," he said without betraying his panic. She didn't approve and that was unacceptable. "Just wanted to talk about something. This straightforward flying is about to put me to sleep."

"I get ya. Well he can have it if he beats me. The way he talks, it should be no problem."

That's not happening, Soarin thought. He's nowhere near my league, let alone yours. He stole another glance at the stallion. His mane appeared to be slicked back with sweat. Soarin cringed and turned back to the mare. "Well, it'd be no fun if we won this race just flying. We should spice it up."

"Spice it up?" she asked. Her knee jerk reaction was to deny any suggestion that would allow that jerk to win anything. However, she was hardly in a position to deny outright a suggestion by one of her idols.

"You know, give these ponies a show. If this thing is going to allow professionals like us, it's only right to give ourselves a handicap."

He called me a professional! Awesome!

"Alright. How do you like this!"

...

Well this girl is gonna be a problem. She looks familiar. Was she at the academy?

The greenish mare leaned over the blue fur she was leaning against to see the yellow pony she had found there when she sat down. She couldn't risk more than a glance. Her eyes widened and her head returned to the seat.

Is that freaking Spitfire!? Why isn't she announcing or something? Lightning Dust stole another look. This time she caught the Wonderbolt looking back.

Spitfire scowled. Is that that Lightning Dust pony that almost pushed Rainbow Dash away? What is she still doing here?

Whatever, Lightning thought. I'm not letting her get in my way.

She won't stop me.

When I want something...

I get it!

The loud pony behind them crossed her arms and pouted. "I wish these two would stop shouting. I can't hear the music!"

"How in Equestria can you hear anything but the music, Pinkie?" Rarity asked with hooves lightly clamped over her ears. She preferred music with a little more piano and a little less bass.

"You all have terrible hearing. Blitzy is right next to them and can't hear either." The earth pony then turned her attention to the flyers. "Oh! Oh! Look at Dashie! How does she do that!?"

Everypony was already looking. That was the point of being there. But upon closer examination, Rainbow Dash was doing something odd. Her altitude fluctuated by several feet with each flap of her wing. Singular. She was literally flying with one wing held tight on her back.

"Nice!" Blitz proclaimed as he returned his forelegs to his lap, much to the displeasure of the two mares they had been around. "Show these ponies who they're up against!"

Suddenly, a light blue stallion overtook her flank first. His legs were stretched out as if he was flying normally but it was his backside that met the wind.

Spitfire grinned and shook her head. "Dammit Soarin."

A hearty laugh boomed through the speakers over the music. "Aw yeah! Looks like we've got a couple of show-ponies out here! Those are some fancy moves! What else you got?"

"Oh don't encourage them, Vinyl. Somepony will get hurt," Octavia warned.

"Doesn't matter! They signed the waivers! Go for it, guys!"

Right on cue, Dash started rolling in the air so fast that she looked like a rainbow colored comet. Soarin broke into a series of front flips, all while flying in loops. Due to these stunts, they lost considerable speed and ceased to overtake their opponents.

Twilight and company found themselves thoroughly engrossed with the aerial antics. Blitz and Spitfire laughed at their respective partners as well. However, the greenish flyer did not share in the merriment.

"Come on. Come on," Lightning muttered, leaning forward in her seat. She'd thought ahead about the race's importance.

The majority of the audience was not versed in flying. Throw some flashy magic and sharp turns at them and they'd be satisfied. Nopony would bother remembering the early performances; they won't be remarkable. Later on as skill increases, the audience will begin to grow tired and care less about who wins. When you get right down to it, the last performance will have the greatest effect on the audience. The final act could win against anything so long as it was half-decent.

Dumbbell panted his way around a turn to the edge closest to his partner. He was still behind Dash and Soarin, which did not make her happy. As much was apparent thanks to their eye contact which, in an instant, spewed enough death and fire into the stallion's unfortunate face to encourage a little acceleration.

His muscles screamed. He may have too. It was hard to tell what with the music.

"That was a pretty cool move, Soarin," Dash said to her idol. They had reached the final lap so they toned down the tricks.

"Thanks," he replied. "I'm thinking about going pro."

"Really?" she laughed. "You think you can make it?"

"I hope so. I already got the suit."

The stallion congratulated himself inwardly. Alright! Ice: broken. When it's over, I can lay on my moves.

The duo was rather distracted. One was content with a fun flight while the other was busy rehearsing pickup lines.

If we were a contract, you'd be the fine print! No. That's stupid. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you've got a sweet...no. Not that one.

With all eyes on the two ponies doing the tricks and their eyes nowhere in particular, few noticed when a struggling brown dot as he passed them.

I bit my lip. Will you kiss it better? Ugh, what am I? Twelve?

I wonder if they sell food here. Maybe Pinkie smuggled in some cupcakes. Or maybe a whole cake. I could go for a whole cake right now...

I heard you like harmony. Let's make music together. No. Only Mareseilles stallions could pull that one off.

If I take a nap now, will I be able to sleep tonight? Aw who am I kidding? I can always sleep.

Three changelings walk into a bar...

"And there goes first place, everypony!" Vinyl announced with no lost energy. "To the brown guy! Whoever that is. You got that, Tavi?"

"Yes dear. It's right here on the sheet," the gray mare responded too far to be properly picked up by the microphone.

"Weird. I would have thought it would be one of those two that were doing all that cool stuff. Hope they're not tuckered out already. We've got a long night ahead of us."

Dash blinked as she processed what the announcers had said. Wow. Didn't know he had it in him.

The mare glanced at Soarin, who mumbled to himself in a world other than Equestria.

Somepony's about to beat a Wonderbolt, she thought with a sly grin.

The black and white strip was rushing to meet them to end their twentieth lap. The blue stallion only managed to pull out of his trance when he noticed the topic of his discussion with himself pass in front of his face.

Huh. Why's she in such a rush?

"Second and third! Rainbow Dash and Soarin! In that order!" Vinyl's hooves tapped on the table to the rhythm of the drums. An inartistic echo resulted for the rest of the audience, but she didn't particularly care.

Wow, he thought. Third. Glad I'm representing the team out here.

Dash and Soarin slowed and started their descent into the nearby stands. Spitfire, Blitz, and Lightning were waiting for them near the finish. Nearby, Dumbbell was splayed out on a set of chairs.

"Nice going," the female Wonderbolt chided. "Glad I could count on you."

"Oh quit it. I was having fun. Third isn't bad." He looked to the others with a face that said, "Do you see what I put up with?"

Blitz laughed and drew his clone under his foreleg. "Well it's no second." He turned to her. "Nice flying by the way."

Dash snorted. "That was nothing."

"Oh I know."

"I don't know why you two are bragging," Lightning interjected. "We got first."

The rainbow stallion rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Meanwhile, where did that guy get to?"

"Uh, dude?" Dash said, poking him and pointing. "Check it out."

Dumbbell was out like a light. Like Equestria's worst batter. Like the color chartreuse last spring. Like ponies saying "radical" or "bogus". Like Dumbbell after trying to out-fly a Wonderbolt and the Wonderbolt's favorite potential recruit. There is no other simile more pure than that.

Soarin walked up to him and poked his chest. The corpse gave no response.

"Is he gonna be alright to fly?" he asked, still poking.

Lightning could almost care. "Sure. He can rest up while we wait. We are going last, after all."

"So much for her caring about safety," Spitfire whispered to Dash.

"As long as she gives it a rest with the tornadoes, we're good." she answered. "Besides, that guy needs to be taken down a peg."

"How far down do you want him?" the Wonderbolt asked incredulously.

"About six feet."

She caught the laugh with pinched lips before it could betray their conversation. Dash's cheeky grin only fed into its will to escape.

"That was terrible!"

"I thought it was pretty good," interjected Blitz quietly as he stuck his head between the two.

Dash looked at her, smiling. "See? He gets it."

She did see. She saw that stallion's face directly in front of her. Had he turned, she would feel his breath on her snout. His eyes looked like a very nice shade of dark pink. They held no femininity, oh no. There was fire in those eyes.

And I'm gonna get some Fire all over the rest of him, Spitfire thought.

Ew.

Just in time to interrupt any additional inward innuendos, Dash flew off to where Blitz had been sitting with her clone on her tail. Lightning, upon seeing the stallion leave, was quick to follow.

This left the two Wonderbolts alone with an unconscious rookie. The mare stood stupidly with her head extended while the stallion kept poking Dumbbell.

"This is pretty fun. Hey Spitz, come try this."

"Dammit Soarin."

...

"Everypony give our contestants a round of applause! And somepony give Tavi an asprin. Or maybe a few shots."

"Hmph. It will take more than a few drums and that synthesizer to get to me."

"The night's just begun my friend. Maybe we should get her both. Preemptive medication or something. Is it bad to take those at the same time?"

The applause that had begun soon after Vinyl's request had died down as they pondered the question.

"YES!" shouted one purple dot in the crowd.

Vinyl shrugged. "Shots it is, then!"

"Put that bottle away, Vinyl. We're working."

"Don't be such a buzz kill!" The popping of a cork echoed through the stadium. "We're gonna take a little break so our first contestants can breathe. You all can go to the John or get a snack or something. See you in a little bit everypony!"

...

Author's Note

A little more conversing before the mane event!

"He couldn't possibly draw this out any longer, could he?"

Yes. Yes he could.

Song is "Sweet Harmony" by Danny Byrd.

I'm Freaking Out

"Awesome is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to dash conflict by rainbow means."

Graphs

***

"That was amazing, Dashie! You were all like, whoosh, and we were all like, 'Woah!', so I was all like 'How does she do that?' Oh! But before that, those two mares were fighting and nopony was listening! Not even Blitzy even though they were right on top of-"

"And hi to you too, Pinkie," Dash said in calming tones. Best settle her down before her exaggerated hoof motions sent her flying like a helicopter even further into the sky. Then she turned to her other friends. "I'm glad you girls could make it."

The pony posse closed in on their previously absent friend, locking her in something akin to a group hug. Blitz found himself locked in as well. He wanted to snort in disgust at such a girly display, but he couldn't quite bring himself to be upset with being squeezed against his double.

"That sure was some fancy flyin' out there, Dash. Y'all gonna be able to do yer show after that?" Applejack's smile suggested that there was no real uncertainty there.

Dash returned the look. "Don't worry. That was nothing compared to what we've got planned."

"And thanks to her," Blitz continued. "We get to kick back and leave you hanging until the end."

"Almost the end!" shot Lightning Dust as she plopped back down into her chair. She sat smugly with her hind legs on the safety rail and her forelegs behind her head.

The collective rolling of eyes was nearly audible among the thousands of other conversations in the stadium. Blitz looked in her direction and made a face that could only be described as stupid. He then shook his head around as if he were talking. The group broke into stifled giggles, discounting Pinkie's, of course. Her giggle always escapes.

"Well then. On that note I think I'll make a trip to filly's room." Rarity separated herself from the huddle and made way to the stairs. "Dash. Twilight. Would you come too?"

In hindsight, it was not a good idea to try and be subtle with those two.

"Are you okay?" her fellow unicorn asked with concern in her eyes.

"But I don't have to go," the pegasus answered.

Rarity placed her hoof on her forehead, hoping it would grant her the patience to deal with the clueless. "Then you'll brush your hair! Just humor me, please."

"I don't need to brush my hair."

The forehead to the hoof was not helping. "Okay. Fine. What if I told you I have a special brush that will untangle the knots in your hair and...oh I don't know. It will help with wind resistance or something."

Rainbow Dash was no longer behind Rarity, but instead hovering by the entrance to the stadium's interior. "What are you waiting for?" she yelled. "C'mon!"

Rarity shook her head and began her ascent. Twilight cautiously followed.

"Hey! Hold up!" Blitz called to them. "I want the special brushing too!"

"I'm terribly sorry, dear," the white unicorn answered without turning her head. "It doesn't work on stallions."

He watched, discouraged, as they disappeared into the cloud corridors. "Fricken..."

Applejack laughed and patted his back. "Don't ya worry none, sugarcube. She's just one o' them ponies that needs a herd to go to the bathroom."

"Well she could let me borrow it for a second," he said with a pout.

"There ain't no brush, Blitz."

"What? Why would she lie about that?"

The mare shrugged. "Ah' reckon she wants some girl talk or somthin'."

"Lame."

...

"This is lame," Dash should have thought instead of saying aloud in the restroom. She had a good view of her scowl in the mirror. Next to said scowl were her two unicorn friends. The white one wore a serene smile as she ran an apparently unenchanted brush through Dash's colorful but tangled mane. The purple one just looked concerned.

"Hush, darling. It's important to keep your mane presentable." Rarity found that her patience returned when fashion was involved. She was in her element.

"No it isn't. I haven't touched a brush in days."

"I can tell," she said, wincing at each knot she broke.

Dash didn't flinch. "Well can I go back, then?"

"Nope," Rarity replied cheerfully. "You agreed and there's plenty more to be done. So lets talk and make this easier, shall we?"

"Fine..."

Twilight watched their discussion from the side, unsure of where she could fit in.

Why did she want me here, exactly? My mane is fine. I think. Why am I here for small talk when I'm not even talking?

"So how was your trip?" Rarity asked with a discreet glance at Twilight. "We've asked Blitz, but stallions aren't to keen on details."

Dash shrugged. "It was pretty cool. Canterlot Valley is awesome. It's a lot like the Everfree Forest, but without all the monsters that want to kill you."

Rarity gritted her teeth. You know I'm not asking about the valley, Dash. Why does nopony understand subtext?

"Did Blitz behave himself? Just say the word and we'll give him a good thrashing." The unicorn's words had none of the hostility one would expect, considering the threat.

Twilight's eyebrows rose up to her horn. Sure, she had jumped to some inward conclusions herself. But she knew deep down nothing like that would happen. Rainbow wouldn't do that to herself. Himself. Whatever.

Before her imagination could throw a tantrum, Dash let out a chuckle.

"Nah. We were fine. It got tough for a second, but it got better." Her eyes glazed over as she drifted momentarily to another world. "A lot better."

Rarity resisted the urge to squeal with delight and ask her everything. Everything. She had to go on with the Plan.

"Well, should things ever cease to get a lot better, don't hesitate to come to us. We would be more than happy to get rid of him for you. I'm sure Twilight and I could scrounge up an anti-duplication spell somewhere."

The purple unicorn's mind began to race again. It was a good racer. Had a lot of practice.

I can't destroy him! He's a pony! He's not just some thing to be thrown out when we're tired of him! What is she thinking!?

Her mouth was agape as if she would say all the words of protest on her mind. A rather generous assumption on her part. But, Dash came to the rescue again.

She rolled her eyes like a pony growing tired of a joke. In fact, exactly like a pony growing tired of a joke. Probably because she was growing tired of the joke.

"Jeez, Rares. What's up with you? We're fine. I've actually been having a great time since he came around. Heck, I wouldn't even be doing this competition if it wasn't for him."

The white unicorn smirked. "Neither of you are at all concerned with him being a clone?"

"It's not like we think about it all that much. As far as I care, he's just some guy that started hanging out with me after I crashed through your window. No big deal."

Oh, here we go, Twilight groaned inwardly having allowed herself to take in Rarity's ploy.

"Would you say you two are friends now?"

Dash snickered nasally, her mouth curling up on one side. "Friends wouldn't do what we do. But sure, you could say that."

I soooo don't want to hear this right now. Twilight imagined dragging her hooves across her face to display her displeasure, but she couldn't very well do so in front of her colorful friend. One thing they did agree on was that Rainbow, both Dash and Blitz, should be kept out of the discussion.

"Wonderful! I'm so glad you two are having so much fun together!"

"Yeah. Great. Can I go now?"

Rarity pouted. "Must you? You're mane has so much potential. If you would just give me a chance with it, you would look simply divine!"

"I'll take that as a yes." Dash promptly walked away mid-brush, causing a few more snaps as loose hairs fell to the floor.

The door swung shut, leaving nothing but the unpleasant smell of a public bathroom between the two unicorns. One readied her ears while the other was about ready to fire up her mouth.

"What," the latter unicorn said in a surprisingly calm voice, "the hay was that?" The beginnings of anger loomed behind her eyes.

"What was what, dear?" the former replied.

"Don't play dumb. You were trying to change my mind about the clones again."

"The thought hadn't even crossed my mind."

"You didn't really let it go. You were just luring me in."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you are referring to, Twilight. I just wanted to ask Rainbow Dash about that stallion of hers. You know how much I love gossip."

Twilight ignored the change of subject. "And this was supposed to be your big finale!" she yelled with a flourish of her hooves. "When I see that it's all okay! When I give in! Is that it?!" She was pacing the room now, mumbling between outbursts.

"Calm down, Twilight," Rarity said in her most soothing voice. "I'm not trying anything."

"I bet you were behind the apple too! I'm sure of it! That would be just like you! Using cat paws when you don't get what you want!"

"Are you quite finished?" the clam one asked after Twilight did a few raging laps around the bathroom.

She walked herself over to the sinks and turned on the water with a hoof. Unfortunately, it was one of those temporary push faucets that stay on for a total of half a second. When her other hoof made to splash some of the stream to her face, the water had ceased to fall. Growling, she flared her horn and forced the button down beyond its limit. It twisted in her magical grasp, grinding on the metal casing until it glowed in its own right. When the purple aura dissipated, the button was fused to the counter.

With her wet bangs now covering her eyes, she turned to her friend with a look that was supposed to be stoic. "Yes..."

"Good. Because we have yet to have a civilized discussion about this." Rarity moved to her wet companion and set about fixing her hair. "How about we agree to keep emotions out of this, hmm?"

Twilight scoffed inwardly at the thought of her keeping emotions out of an issue. But she nodded nonetheless.

"Alright. So, I haven't yet heard a tangible reason for your objection. You've referenced a 'feeling', but those have no value. You should know as much."

The purple unicorn noticed some of the futility in fixing her hair and summoned a blow dryer to aid them. "Okay. That is correct. However, you also haven't given me any reason to follow through with your plans."

"On the contrary," Rarity said, smiling. "I have clearly stated that it would be fun."

The librarian rolled her eyes. "Forgive me if that sort of magic for the purpose of 'fun' seems a bit inappropriate."

"Fair enough," she responded, nodding. "But what about your research? You don't know all about the spell. Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't a larger data pool prove to be useful for this sort of thing? Mind you, it's been quite some time since my last science lesson."

Twilight bit her lip. That was true. That would be convincing enough for any impartial mage with a drive to learn. This one, however, was almost certainly partial. One might even say she was extremely partial.

"I can get everything I need without creating duplicates of our friends," she lied, hoping that Rarity would not remember her previous lesson on how magic with ponies was different from magic with objects.

The fashionista scowled, searching for a rebuttal. "Fine. Suppose it is not practical. It still would make us happy, though. It would also make you happy, seeing as I would no longer have to nag you about it."

"A pile of candy would make a filly happy, but that doesn't make it good for her."

"Do you take us for fillies?"

"You know what I mean. You can't just do something because you think you might enjoy it. There has to be a purpose."

"Have I not mentioned applications?"

"You mean slave labor?"

"Hardly!" Rarity guffawed. "Tell me. What would it take for you to agree?"

A lobotomy, thought Twilight And maybe a few shakes of salt. Of course these wouldn't suffice. It would have to be something subjective. Completely up to her.

"I would need to see that Equestria can benefit from more of us. Unquestionably."

Rarity pondered that one for a moment. Was she defeated? Would she drop the subject?

"Very well, then," she said in an unperturbed tone. She then turned and sauntered to the bathroom door.

The development confused Twilight. "Where are you going?"

"Why, back to our seats dear. You can hardly expect proof to show up here of all places. Now are you coming or not."

Taking Twilight's tired sigh as a "yes", she continued through the doorway.The purple unicorn scowled at the floor, following Rarity's curly tail on the very edge of her vision.

Great, she thought. She took it as a challenge. What else can I get myself into tonight?

Fate. Tempting it. Bad. Et cetera.

The door swung shut, leaving the restroom in silence. After a few moments, a flush came from a stall just before a timid looking filly snuck out with a frightened face.

"I don't know and I don't want to know," she whispered, shaking her head.

...

This is really awkward. Why don't they just sit in their own seats? Why are they staring at each other? Why are they growling? Ngh!

Two pegasi jockeyed for a hold on the stallion in a manner they thought was nonchalant. They were wrong, of course, as everypony could, and did, see. It was difficult not to notice when one pony had two other fully grown ponies practically on top of him. Passive aggressiveness was not their forte. Full on aggressiveness was more their style.

Blitz turned over his shoulder to his friends with a pleading look, internally screaming "What do I do!?"

They offered little help. Pinkie was preoccupied with bobbing her head to whatever pop song the DJ had going during the break. Fluttershy hid her eyes, lest she be drawn into a conflict. Applejack could only offer a snicker and a shrug.

Meanwhile, Spitfire looked up at her target's chin. He had turned in her direction to look back, not in that hussie's.

Ha! He likes me more! she telepathically said to Lightning dust the way arguing mares can do.

You wish! the green pegasus shot back with her eyes. He's just afraid real mares!

Oh, and I'm not real enough, then?

You're some overrated celebrity trying to pick up one of your fans.

The only reason you're not doing that is that you don't have fans.

Their squeezing intensified until Blitz could no longer feel his forelegs. Like a claustrophobic in a tin can, he had to get out.

His wings sprang up through his assailants and propelled him into the air. "I have to... go to the... get some... the thing. See ya!" He then took off in a cloud of smoke resembling the shape of a fearful stallion.

His abrupt exit caused the two mares to collapse onto the space between them, yet again flaring up their wordless confrontation.

Way to go Spitfire, Lightning thought. You scared him off.

Me? I thought I wasn't 'real enough'. You freaked him out with all your 'real'-ness.

He'll come around. That is, if you get going.

Champ, you're out of your league. Why don't you run along to your comatose partner so the adults can talk.

I'll whoop you any time, any place. Stick around and I'll show you.

You are not the first trash talking rookie to challenge me. And let me tell you something. It never ended well for them.

I'm different.

They said that too.

Lightning, the phenomenon, not the pony, flickered between their eyes. Then a third bolt arced into the fray from the pink mane behind them. Startled, the pegasi broke off their glares and looked to the newcomer.

"Yay!" Pinkie shouted, leaning over the seats. "I won!"

...

Three thumps came from the speakers, turning the crowd's attention to their MC.

"Sup everypony?" said Vinyl as she sat back down at her table. "Your favorite DJ here with a slightly more drunk Octavia!"

The grey earth pony beside her sighed into her microphone. "Need I remind you that I hold my liquor a bit better than you?"

"Sure you do, Tavi." Vinyl then leaned into her mic. "She totally doesn't," she whispered.

There was a crash as the unicorn fell down. Her partner definitely didn't kick her chair out.

"There we are," Octavia said, amused. "Now then, let's get started, shall we? Will our first contestants please take their positions?" She waited for two mares to clumsily make their way into the center of the stadium. "Do we have a name for you two?"

One yelled something at the top of her lungs. Or, it looked like it. The relatively sedate chatter of the audience was still enough to drown out her words to Octavia.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The DJ got up, unperturbed at being struck. "She said 'The Sky Sisters'. Decent name. I'll start on your signal, guys. Just gimme the go ahead and I'll turn it up!"

"What exactly have we got this time?"

"These guys? They will be flying to some classic-"

"Oh thank goodness. Somepony has some taste in this-"

"-rock."

Octavia deflated and rested her head on her hoof. "You paused on purpose, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she responded with a grin.

"Fine. Meanwhile I do believe they are trying to get your attention."

"Huh? Oh! Sorry guys! Hit it!"

...

The empty corridors of the Cloudiseum made for a decent flight path, which was good considering he was fleeing with haste.

Blitz was kicking himself for missing the the first guys to go. It wasn't like they would be super entertaining. In fact, they would almost certainly be mediocre. But there was that bond between ponies in similar fields. You challenge those at your level while encouraging those below you. It makes you feel like a part of something.

However, in Blitz's case, he would also be a part of a Blitz sandwich.

That was another thing that concerned him. Shouldn't any stallion of age dream of such an occurrence? Even if they were just leaning on him as friends, he should still be able to enjoy the experience, right?

It felt weird, he thought, face contorting into a wry frown. Bad. Like I was betraying somepony.

So engrossed was he, that he failed to take notice of the mare that flung her foreleg out and clotheslined him.

"Gluh!" he choked, falling almost painfully to the cloudy floor. Thankfully, skulls don't crack against water vapor.

"There you are," said a familiar voice as it hopped on top of him, eliciting another grunt from the stallion. "Do you have any idea where everypony is? I can't find anything in this place."

One would assume that assault is enough thoroughly piss somepony off. Enough that looking up, smiling, and wrapping one's forelegs around the attacker's waist would be out of the question.

On the other hoof, one is rarely clotheslined by Rainbow Dash.

"C'mon, dude. Am I so sexy that you can't even talk?"

Blitz laughed. "Nah. But I do have priorities. And let me tell you something. Talking is very low on the list right now."

Dash carnivorously bared her teeth. "Maybe later. But really, though. Where are our seats?"

He looked behind him to see no landmarks that distinguished this area from any other. Having been lost in thought for the trip, he had no idea how far he'd flown.

"No clue. I just wanted to get out of there."

"What happened?"

"Lightning Dust was being weird again and so was Spitfire!"

The mare rolled her eyes as she helped her clone to his hooves. "Not this again."

"I'm serious! They were, like, leaning on me and stuff!"

She looked at him expectantly.

"What?"

"Is that it?"

"Yes that's it!" he exclaimed, exasperated. "You want more?"

"Uh, yeah? The seats don't have dividers. Ponies will lean on each other."

Blitz pouted and looked away. "I still didn't like it," he muttered.

Dash tilted her head to the side. "Are you sure you're my clone? 'cause I don't remember being this awkward around other ponies."

"I'm not awkward! It was like they were hugging me, or something."

"Hugging you."

"Aggressively."

"Uh huh."

"I swear!"

"I believe you," she said, smiling like a pegasus that most certainly did not believe you. "In fact, let's go back so I can watch it."

"I don't want to..."

"Fine. I'll sit next to you and block one of them. How's that?"

"Fine."

They began to walk to where Blitz had fled from, managing to resist the offers of the many merchants that called to them.

"So what did they need you for in the bathroom there?" asked Blitz. "The brush was a lie, wasn't it?"

"Not exactly." Dash ran a hoof through her mane, finding that it glided rather smoothly as opposed to catching on any knots.

"It looks nice?" He guessed that was the correct thing to say to a mare. You couldn't really go wrong with a compliment.

She glanced at him and snorted.

"Yeah, I was just saying that. I don't see a difference. It was already cool, though."

"Tch. Thanks. Anyway, they kept asking me questions- well Rarity was, anyway- about you."

Blitz's eyebrows rose to the heavens. This was either really good, or really bad.

"Oh yeah? What about?"

"Rarity seemed like she was kind of suspicious of you. Like you hurt me or something."

"Really bad, then," he muttered.

"When I told her you were fine, she kept asking if we were having fun and if we were friends or whatever."

"What's that all about?"

"I dunno. Rarity probably wants to get Twilight back into the dating scene or something."

The snickered simultaneously. A simultaneous snicker.

"Sure," Blitz said sarcastically. "That'll happen."

"I know, right? Meanwhile, they never told us we could name our team."

"Oh yeah. She was saying something about that on the intercom. You thinking what I'm thinking?"

There was no pause for consideration. "Double Rainbow?"

"Double Rainbow."

They shared a hoofbump like no other. The shockwave rocked the world around them, bending space, time, and spacetime. Only after the dust cleared did Dash notice the sign above one of the stairwells.

"A 15 through... yup. This is us." She started her way downward only to find that her clone was not in tow. "You coming?" she called back.

The stallion stood in front of a vendor, scratching his chin in contemplation. "You think I should get a foam hoof?"

"Why the hell do you need a foam hoof?"

"I dunno. If they bother me, I could just stick it between us or smack them around with it or something."

"You're ridiculous. Just come on. I want to see some of the first show."

Thankfully, they found the assembly of their friends, sans two unicorns, further down. There was another winged creature there too, however. It hovered next to Fluttershy, dragging its talons across the back of its neck apologetically.

Dash squinted at them despite being able to move closer for a better look. "Dude, is that Gilda?"

"Hm? Yeah, I think it is. I forgot she was going to be here."

Just as the two pegasi cantered into earshot, they caught the tail end of a "sorry" and the sight of Gilda being engulfed in a yellow, fluffy hug. She smiled awkwardly and patted Fluttershy on the back with one claw. Hugs weren't her thing, it seemed.

"So," she said, trying to gently pull out of the embrace. "Are we cool?"

Applejack shrugged. "Ya didn't really do nuthin' to me, sugar cube. But I reckon I can understand when somebody loses their temper. How 'bout you, Pinkie?"

The pink pony smiled ear to ear. "Put her there, Gil!" She held out a hoof that quite obviously donned a joy buzzer.

Gilda smirked and went in anyway.

Their hoofs/claws met, triggering a loud buzzing sound. The griffon didn't flinch. Pinkie's smile faded into a confused frown as her toy began to smoke with no visual effect on the target.

The earth pony drew back her hoof to examine the buzzer. Nothing appeared wrong with it. She brought it to her face and cautiously pressed her tongue to the trigger.

After the expected happened and Pinkie had a moment to flail her zapped tongue about, she looked back to Gilda.

"Wah happen?" Pinkie said with only a little bit of spittle falling to the floor.

The griffon shrugged. "I've been practicing with some lightning. Those things don't really work on me anymore."

"He he. Well woo bawt be, Bilda!"

Dash appeared behind Gilda, locking her head under her arm. "Nice one, G! It's not easy to pull one over on ol' Pinkie here!"

Blitz approached on her other side. "How'd you get her to lick it, though?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie spat. "How bid woo bet be tho blick id?"

Fluttershy wiped her hoof through her mane, wincing when it contacted wetness.

"Magic," the griffon replied mysteriously, wiggling her claws at the ponies.

They shared a laugh and got back into their seats. Gilda looked back to where she had been: a 5 seat wide gap in VIP section far from anypony interesting.

"Hey, you guys mind if I sit with you? It was lame over where mine was."

Blitz glanced at the two pegasi he had come to fear. They happened to have been looking at him at that moment, their noses poking above their chairs cutely. It must have been all the noise they were making. Then he noticed that they had separated a little bit, leaving three seats between them. His eyes promptly popped open at the opportunity.

"Sure thing, G," he said with well disguised eagerness. "We're right over here."

The stallion flew forward, practically dragging Dash into the chair between him and Lightning. Gilda raised a feathery eyebrow at his behavior, but shrugged it off as being just something weird stallions did. She plopped down next to him.

She then turned to see her idol sitting rather displeased in the chair next to her.

The griffon's mind started screaming. It was incoherent screaming, mind you, but it was probably something to the effect of, "Holy crap! You're Spitfire! Guys! It's Spitfire!" However, her pride would not allow such an outburst. She made due with silently getting Dash's attention across her lookalike and nodding her head toward the Wonderbolt.

Dash let a giddy smile slip through her cool facade for just a moment, using her female telepathy powers to communicate, "I know, right!" to her old friend.

Great, thought Spitfire. Now I don't even get to sit next to Blitz or Dash. I have to be with... a griffon? Cool, I guess.

It was then that her partner swooped down from the air into the seat next to her, holding an absurdly large assortment of snacks. Fries, popcorn, soda, and... a pie of all things. Honestly. And he wonders why he has a reputation.

"Did I miss anything?" he asked, spewing slobbery crumbs onto the floor below him.

"Nah. They have heart and all, but it'll be a few years before they have the skills they need." She looked him up and down and shook her head. "You get enough food?"

"Yeah," he replied, missing the point. "I thought I'd eat light tonight." He glanced at his neighbors and noticed that the Rainbow-maned pegasi that had been on their minds were no longer among them. "I see you're making progress. He's practically eating out of your hoof. How do you do it?"

"Shut up. I have plenty of time."

Blitz, meanwhile, was enjoying a hassle free flight show experience. No longer were two mares latching onto his forelegs. Nope. Now only one mare leaned on his shoulder because stadiums couldn't be bothered to supply cushions. Also because his shoulder was oddly comfortable. This mare he could deal with. She wasn't so aggressive.

Okay. She was magnitudes more aggressive at times. But the good aggressive. Like, bite marks you brag to your friends about aggressive.

It wasn't until the end of the performance of the second team, dubbed the Wind Walkers, that the unicorns showed up to the party.

"Honestly," Rarity sighed, producing a fan for the mild sweat produced on her walk around the Cloudiseum. "You'd think they's put up a sign."

"They did," Twilight said flatly. "We passed it. Twice."

"Well why didn't you say something, then?"

"I did." Her eyebrows were now perfectly flat against her eyes. "Twice."

"Oh. Hmm. I suppose I need to pay more attention."

"Uh huh."

In the relative silence that followed, relative because that DJ pumped out music constantly, Applejack leaned into Rarity.

"She don't seem too happy there," she whispered. "Everythin' go alright?"

The unicorn waved her hoof dismissively. "Don't worry, Applejack. She's coming around."

"You sure tonight's the right night ta be tryin' this? Not like any of us are in a rush."

"Why, it's the only night. I don't see when else it could happen. Besides, I am growing impatient. Rainbow Dash is having so much fun and I want to as well."

Applejack frowned at her. "Wasn't it you what was tellin us to ease her into the whole thing?"

"Hush. I know what I'm doing."

...

The performances steadily improved as the night went on, which was pretty convenient for Vinyl. Her show's contestants lined up in skill order without even realizing it. The climax would inevitably happen at the end. Or thereabouts.

"Give it up for Tropical Storm, everypony!" the DJ yelled into her mic. "That was wicked! I liked that wave at the end with the rain! Looked sweet! What do you think, Tavi?"

"Very impressive flying, you two. Although, I can't help but wish you had gone with something more relaxing in terms of background music. Some steal drums or Jimmy Billet singing about margaritas." She released a longing sigh. "We should go to the beach, Vinyl."

The unicorn's head was beneath the table, rummaging through a cooler. "Hm? Sorry, I didn't catch that. All I know is that I heard 'margaritas'!" She resurfaced holding a greenish yellow pitcher and some wedges of lime.

"No thank you. I think I've had quite enough."

"How many hooves am I holding up?" Vinyl said, holding up one hoof.

"One?"

"That's right, so you haven't had enough."

"For the love of-"

Octavia's mic was stolen before she could express her disapproval. Before she knew it, she was left holding a glass that was magically being filled by the floating pitcher. Instead of complaining, she rolled her eyes and tilted the pitcher further.

"We've only got a few more shows for you tonight, so take a breather and we'll be right back! Hey, quit hogging it!"

The audio cut out at the sounds of a struggle before it was immediately replaced by some house.

...

Having noticed that no progress would be made in wooing her desired stallion through silence and sitting several feet away, Spitfire resolved to make some conversation in what was turning out to be a lengthy intermission. The griffon was easy enough to talk to, seeing as she seemed to be a fan. Not to be left out of a chat with a celebrity, Blitz joined in. Then Dash. Then Soarin. Heck, even a few ponies from behind them spoke up. That pink one was hilarious.

It's not like I need him head over hooves for me tonight. Take it slow and become friends first. That's the right way to do things.

What was supposed to be just another step in her ~~plot~~ scheme became rather pleasant gathering. They talked and joked. Soarin even started up a popcorn throwing game. He understandably focused a tad too much on Dash, but nopony seemed to notice.

It was odd being treated like just another pony, wide-eyed gazes aside. It made Spitfire wonder what it would be like if she had never been a Wonderbolt.

Who am I kidding? she thought. I would still be this amazing.

They discussed the previous performances, sharing how good (or bad) they thought they were. The prissy one enjoyed the "sophisticated" show put on by the clumsily named Ponies in the Sky with Diamonds. A little long for the sake of a mediocre pun, if you asked Spitz.

The pink one liked the Novas, which was understandable. Her personality went hoof in hoof with excessive explosions.

The earth pony in the hat might have said that the Twister Twins were her favorites. The fiery pegasus couldn't be sure under that drawl.

That other pegasus didn't talk much. What she did say was unintelligible because it was muffled behind two jittery hooves and a massive mane.

The purple one said she didn't have a favorite, but she didn't appear to be paying much attention anyway.

Those in the VIP section knew to reserve judgement. Although it was egotistical for some of them to think, the best was yet to come.

Speaking of those in the VIP section, they appeared to be missing one aqua-green-coated pony.

"That's not good," Spitfire muttered.

"What's not good?" her partner asked quietly.

"That Lightning Dust pony isn't here anymore."

"So? Don't you, like, hate her or something?"

"I don't hate her! She's just..." she fumbled for the word. "In the way. Yeah."

"Maybe she went to check if her partner is still alive."

The mare furrowed her brow, unconvinced. "I don't know about that. She's planning something. I can feel it."

"Uh huh."

She stole a glance at the object of her interest, biting her lip in the sight of that fierce smile of his.

"Now you know why I was drooling over Dash all those times," he said, laughing at her expense.

Spitfire ignored him, not quite ready to admit to drooling. Eyeing, maybe. Perhaps even salivating. But not drooling.

"I should make a move," she thought out loud, moving to get up. However, two blue hooves pressed down on her shoulders to hold her down.

"In front of everypony? While they're talking? That's awkward."

"Like shoving your face into a pie awkward?" she offered, managing a smirk.

The stallion cringed at the thought of his behavior. "I never said I was good at it. Meanwhile, they're getting up anyway. See? Just wait."

The Wonderbolt captain almost felt grateful for the advice on being romantically inept. Then she frowned at the stallion.

"Why exactly are you trying to help me?" she asked.

Soarin grinned sheepishly. "They've been hanging around each other this whole time. If you manage to get him out of the way, I'll get her alone." He then cringed again and went over that thought. "We are taking this too far."

"I know. But do you feel like stopping?"

He half snorted and half giggled. "Not a chance."

...

The night was not young by any means. In fact, one might say the night was downright old. One might consider placing the night in a nursing home. Not those homes you see on television with the abuse and whatnot. No no no. One of the good homes.

Some of the audience felt a longing for their homes as well. Foals who had been permitted to stay up past bedtime started a yawn epidemic around the stadium. They might just be getting their sleep after all. Their parents were not so lucky. They had a flight home with a child on their backs to look forward to with no hope of rest beforehand. They couldn't just sleep and leave their children unsupervised! In fact, according to some pegasi, this was pretty close to the bad side of Cloudsdale.

A select few pairs of pegasi had no such problems. They were pumped, hyped, excited, thrilled, eager, and a bunch of other adjectives too.

With sleep a non issue, team Double Rainbow had time to consider other needs.

No, not those needs. Maybe later.

Blitz burst from his seat a began to stretch, rolling his unused joints around with some impressive cracks. Spitfire totally wasn't watching with wide eyes.

They would be much better described as "hungry".

After a bout of unknowingly strutting his stuff, Blitz began to drift toward the stadium halls.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick before we're up."

Dash looked back at him and nodded. "Good idea," she said as she got up to follow. "My hooves are all greasy from the popcorn."

"Yeah," he laughed. "That could be an issue."

The sign in the corridor displayed the silhouette of a mare's head pointing to the right with a stallion's head pointing to the left, both accompanied by arrows pointing in those directions. Because having both bathrooms in the same area would be too simple.

It would have looked like a mirror between them when they shrugged and headed to their respective destinations. If somepony was watching, that is. But nopony was there. Nope. Certainly not.

This made it rather silly of Blitz to turn around at the sight of a shadow on the floor in front of him. Nopony lurked behind because, as we have established, nopony was there. Clouds did darken on occasion, but not construction quality ones. He dismissed it as just shoddy work. It's not that he condoned laziness; he could just understand it.

The bathroom was a long trot from his friends. The architects behind the cloudiseum seemed to believe that they needed four more gift shops than public bathrooms in a single wing. He breathed a sigh of relief when a sign and a door presented itself.

Finally. What if I really had to go or something?

It looked slightly cleaner than the locker rooms and it lacked the same smell of sweat. Instead, it wreaked of powerful cleaning supplies covered with weak air freshener. It was as empty as the halls outside. Because, come on. Who's going to miss the best parts of the event to go to the bathroom?

Not that one had to see it. The music pumped into the intercom and an experienced flyer like Blitz could predict what they were doing. A loop would look good here. Slow down there, then speed up, and so on.

He stepped out a minute or so after a flushing sound. Of course he washed his hooves. He was sloppy, not gross. But as he began his return trek, he saw the shadow again.

Seriously guys? he inwardly remarked to the builders who were not there with him. This is dangerous. A pony just needs to step on this the wrong way and they get shocked. He prodded the grey spot to discharge the rowdy cloud. It wasn't like he couldn't handle a little Lightning.

Further examination revealed that the floor was not, in fact, becoming a storm cloud. The shadow was cast on his hoof as well, so something must have been above him.

He turned and almost caught a glimpse of it before he was slammed into the floor again. Which sucked, as one could imagine.

The last time this happened, Rainbow Dash had crawled onto him. Her fur and weight were familiar enough to soothe his instincts to fight, fly, or both. Much more enjoyable instincts came to mind. This new sensation was not the same, however.

Something was on top of him, but it did not remind him at all of his romps with his lookalike. The texture wasn't the same type of softness. The weight was distributed differently. Most of all, it just didn't feel the same. A part of his mind that had been silent for a long time told him that this was not good.

Logic would dictate that he try seeing what the hell happened as opposed to fumbling for sensory clues like a blind pony. Unfortunately, his eyes wouldn't focus thanks to his head's repeated collision with the floor.There was no need, though, seeing as the thing on top of him inched into his blurry field of view.

Gold, aqua green, and the unmistakable white of a grin met him. If that wasn't enough to jog his memory, the voice helped him out.

"You are a hard stallion to talk to, Rainbow Blitz," Lightning Dust purred, moving her head closer to his. You normally associate purrs with cats. Little, fluffy cats. But you can't forget that some cats are huge and scary and fast and strong and carnivorous and overall unpleasant to be around. When a damned tiger is purring at you, you get the heck out of dodge.

"What the hell are you doing?" Blitz exclaimed angrily, letting anger overtake fear for the sake of his dignity.

She smiled incredulously as if it should have been obvious. "You've been avoiding me all night! Kind of weird if you ask me. You don't strike me as the shy type."

"Shy? W-whatever. Just get off!" the stallion yelled as he struggled, managing to momentarily lift her into the air. However, she shifted all of her weight onto her front hooves, pinning his forelegs to the floor.

"There's the attitude I like," she said, grunting at the effort. "I want to see more of that. But I understand if you're nervous. I mean, I am pretty imposing."

"I'll say! You are, like, really close right now..." His rage faded to helplessness. His heart sped up, and not in the good way. Something was about to happen that he did not want.

She, however, was having none of it. Her hoof climbed up to his mouth, brushing through his fur a little more than it had to on the way. She put no force behind it as it came to rest on his lips, but Blitz got the feeling that she could if she wanted.

"You stallions just don't understand how much I like to see a little power. Always walking on eggshells, as if I'll break or something! I've always gotta be the one to make a move." She gazed into his eyes with hers half closed. "But that's alright. I like it this way too."

Something to the effect of "Oh, that's why she was acting like that" might have gone through the stallion's head. It was kind of hard to tell, what with all the other crap going on in there.

Crap crap crap crap crap-

Get a hold of yourself, dude! his inner voice scolded. All you've got to do is get her off!

Was that some kind of sick joke?! I'm not doing that to her!

No, jackass. Get her off of you. I know you don't want this.

The stallion sighed and gathered his composure. The face he mustered up wasn't calm by any means, but it was enough to disappoint Lightning's desire for a fight.

"Lightning Dust," he rasped coldly. "Get. Off."

The mare frowned and examined his face. "Nah. I don't like this one. The other one was more fun."

"Dammit," he muttered. Then he put his effort back behind an icy gaze. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but I'm not into you like that. Now why don't you screw off and we can forget about this."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully, bringing her chin to rest on her hoof. This just so happened to put her nearly muzzle to muzzle with her captive.

Blitz continued with what he thought was progress. "Also, I'm kind of seeing somepony right n-"

He stopped when her hoof entered his mouth. She didn't seem to understand the concept of a personal bubble. Or hygiene.

"Blitz, I don't think you understand. I've decided I want you. And Lightning Dust wants something, she takes it!"

With that, she plunged herself down onto the stallion's face.

Now, this wasn't Rainbow Blitz's first kiss. That particular milestone took place entire days ago. Given his experience, he gathered that the act of kissing was supposed to be enjoyable. Hell, even the ones that later left him flustered and embarrassed were pleasurable at the time. The warmth and closeness were supposed to be pretty good.

This one felt like dry ice.

Blitz shivered, eyes clenching shut in shock. If only his mouth had managed to close instead of hanging agape, maybe he wouldn't be sharing this deep kiss with this crazy mare.

It wasn't actually cold, of course. The touch of another pony is nearly universally warm (Unless one is sharing a bed with a particularly cold-hoofed companion. Those are the worst). But something about the feeling of her made every fiber of his body recoil in disgust.

I don't like this from you! I don't want this! Stop! His brain screamed out words of protest, but no matter how hard he thought them, they didn't reach his attacker. If they did, she wasn't listening.

A subjective eternity of squirming and unsolicited tongue later, Blitz's panicked senses picked up that Lightning's hooves were no longer digging into his forelegs.

This was his chance! He put all of his strength into a jerk to his side, hoping to send her rolling while placing himself in a kneeling position. However, he failed to consider the great proverb of old. The one that could have prevented the fall of empires, the assassination of royalty, and the failure of dinner parties alike.

We plan. Celestia laughs.

Celestia couldn't be blamed here, though. Lightning just took it upon herself to coil her legs around the stallion like a foal to its security blanket.

So they tumbled sideways, Blitz landing roughly on top of the mare. She suddenly broke the kiss, gasping at his sudden weight. But she wasted no time in shooting him a fierce grin.

"That's more like it!" she said before leaning in again.

Blitz got his legs between them and pushed her head out of reach from his. He was making progress this time, too. A few more seconds and he would have been free.

"What the hell!" said a not so distant voice.

...

Spitfire didn't feel like waiting. It was a good plan, sure. But since when did anypony do something just because of a good plan?

After waiting the minimum socially acceptable amount of time, she darted from her seat to the halls. Somepony behind her yelled about a hat.

She followed the first rainbow she saw. Sneakily, of course. No need to be caught stalking.

The Wonderbolt was about to formulate some sort of plan of action once she confronted her interest when she saw him trot into the little filly's room.

"The hell?" she muttered, hovering closer to the door. She pressed her ear to the hardened cloud for some insight.

The sound of running water met her, which was not helpful. Leaning in harder didn't help either. But that was because it was a push door.

The fiery celebrity stumbled inside, only catching her balance thanks to years of discipline. You could never let yourself remain in an ungraceful position with paparazzi around.

The pony she saw was blue, had colorful hair, and definitely looked like a flyer. The face still gave her a twinge of disappointment.

"Oh hey, Spitz," Rainbow Dash said, reaching for a paper towel to dry her hooves.

"Hey Dash," she replied not too flatly as she approached the neighboring sink. Couldn't just walk in and walk out.

"You ready for your turn on the stage?"

Spitfire smiled. "You know it. We're gonna blow you all away."

"Oh yeah! You gonna go with one of your team's routines?"

She shrugged. "Nah. Thought we'd do something fresh for this thing. Soarin and I whipped it up a few months back. It's gonna rock, don't you worry."

Dash raised her hooves defensively. "Hey, I'm not doubting that. You guys got me into flying in the first place."

Spitz had to turn away to the paper towels to hide her beaming countenance. She'd heard it before, even from this very pony, but it still got to her every time.

I'm the inspiration to one of the best flyers I know! Hell yes!

"That's good to know," she said back coolly.

They began the long trip to the seats. According to the still quickening pace of the music, the current show had yet to reach any sort of climax.

"Long one, eh?" Spitfire commented as they neared their stairway.

"It's not that long, is it? Not even for minutes yet. Who's up anyway?"

"Nopony special. I checked."

The two mares paused at the archway, unaware that they were both searching for the same colorful head.

Dash snorted and continued her course. "And they say mares take too long."

The Wonderbolt tried to look surprised. "Oh, did he go too?"

The blue pegasus looked back to find her new friend still following her. "Yeah. But, uh, shouldn't you be getting ready to go on?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "You think they'd start without me?"

"Good point," Dash chuckled.

As they trotted farther down the wing, the sound of grunting and shouting started to echo into their ears. They shared an inquisitive glance and continued silently to investigate.

They stopped with their backs to the wall when a tail came into view. As they inched closer, they recognized two ponies who appeared to be wrestling.

"Uh, what the hell is she doing?" Dash asked with some annoyance and no anger.

Spitfire gulped and tried not to let the jealousy show on her face. "I think she's trying to strangle him," she suggested.

"Uh huh." The rainbow pegasus scratched her head and frowned. "I-is she okay? Like, does she have issues or something?"

The yellow mare shrugged. "You spent more time with her than me. You see her taking any suspicious looking pills?"

"Nah. No drugs. But she did talk to herself in her sleep. Something about not wanting to do what the voices told her."

The two shared a snicker and turned back to the show. Lightning was definitely winning, and her victim didn't seem at all happy about it.

"So I guess the voices told her to attack your brother?" The celebrity asked, hoping to continue the joking. It might assuage her growing envy for the mare who was so close to that stallion.

"What? You mean Blitz? He's not my brother."

Spitz frowned. "Really? What are you then?"

"Friends. Well, that's not the right word. I don't really know what to call us, but we're sort of going out."

It was at that moment that Lightning Dust chose to shove her tongue into Dash's friend's mouth.

Grunts and muffled screams were all that filled the air. That, and the current song, which appeared to be reaching the end. Those not involved in the make out session were frozen in their places, Spitfire experiencing overwhelming jealous spite and Dash going through some good 'ol shock.

Time never knew when something serious had happened. It just kept right on going without any regard to the feelings of others. The nerve. Anyway, after some time had so rudely passed, the awed spectators got a look at Blitz's comeback.

He spun them around so he was on top and immediately set about pushing her off. But Lighting hung onto his neck as if her life depended on it. She wasn't discouraged, however. In fact, she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

"That's more like it!" she said right before going in for round two.

But Dash had seen enough. She stormed forward, eyes ablaze and teeth bared.

"What the hell!" she yelled as she approached.

The sound shook the green pony's concentration, allowing Blitz to launch himself backward, leaving a sizable dent in the fluffy wall.

The stallion looked up at his savior with gratitude momentarily. Then his pupils shrank to a singularity as he recognized her.

He wasted no time glancing back and forth between the two mares. No awkward "This isn't what it looks like!" speech. Sitcoms have taught ponies that those scenarios rarely ended well. So he did what every instinct in his head was suggesting.

He bolted.

...

Author's Note

*Gasp*

Is that a conflict? Cause it looks like a conflict.

Like, a lot.

It's Showtime

If you want to dash today, you have to rainbow yesterday.

Graphs

***

Spitfire plopped ungracefully back into her seat. She appeared shaken, upset, disturbed, what have you. A few moments of nervous fidgeting passed without the return of any rainbow colored pegasi before those around her started to take notice.

"Dude," inquired Gilda. "Everything alright?"

The Wonderbolt let out a huge sigh. "Finally! I've got a story I'm dying to tell and nopony asks!"

"What happened?" her partner asked, frowning.

"So Rainbow Dash," she began, stopping once she felt the row of five ponies behind her lean in. She turned around to face her audience and began again. "Rainbow Dash and I were walking back from the bathroom and we decided to go find Blitz 'cause he was taking a while. But when we got close, we started to hear ponies grunting and stuff. Right outside the door of the colt's room, Lightning Dust was, like, attacking Blitz!"

"What?" said the farmer inquisitively. "Like, wrestlin'?"

"Pft. Sure. Only Lightning seemed to want to do the other kind of wrestling. The kind mommy and daddy were doing when the foal walks in on them at night."

Everypony's faces contorted in either disgust, shock, or both.

"So Blitz was all like 'Get off!' and stuff, but she really had him there. Then, you know what she does? She starts kissing him! Like, straight up snogging! I'm talking tongue swallowing-"

Rarity cringed at the vivid description. "We get it! Please, just go on." Fluttershy was now entirely inside her mane.

"Right, sorry. So Blitz finally gets her off-"

"Good heavens!" The white unicorn interjected.

"Not like that! At least, she didn't get to that before Blitz pulled free. Once he saw us, though, he bounced. Totally blew a hole in the ceiling and everything."

Everypony around remained engrossed in the pegasus's tale except Twilight, who just sat grimly shaking her head.

This is what I was talking about, she sent telepathically to her fellow unicorn.

Rarity didn't react. Being right or wrong paled in comparison to juicy gossip like this.

"What did Dashie do?" Pinkie asked, worried. She didn't even giggle at the phrase 'Dashie do'.

Spitfire opened her mouth to respond, then closed it and gestured behind them.

"See for yourself."

The crowd behind them consisted of ponies either chatting with one another or asleep in uncomfortable looking positions. However, there was one greenish spot in the colorful sea that was not doing either. The spot was somewhat black and blue around one eye.

Applejack let out a hearty chuckle. "Ata' girl, Dash!"

"Is she going to be okay?" Fluttershy asked softly, exiting her mane.

The fiery Wonderbolt laughed. "I dunno. I felt it when that punch landed. Definitely didn't think she could hit that hard."

"Oh my..." She returned to the mane. Six more weeks of winter.

"And where is she now?" Rarity inquired.

Spitfire scanned the sky and shrugged. "She went through the hole after the beat-down. Probably went after him."

Rarity scowled slightly, a step below troubled. This will certainly complicate things, she thought to herself.

Before any more discussion could take place, a loud voice from the speakers put out a few slurred words to the audience.

"Awwwrighty then my ponies. We got...pffft... three shows or something left for you tonight. Going next are the... the..."

"The Wonderbolts, Vinyl. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Wonderbowls? Isn't that name taken or something? Yo Wonderbars! There's already a Wonderbelts out there. They're all famous for... what was it? Bolting or something. You can't just pretend to be boltiers like the Wo...Wonder...those guys."

"Vinyl, why don't you lie down? I'll take it from here." A thump echoed through the speakers and suddenly there was no more blue hair visible at the announcers' table.

"Will Spitfire and Soarin please come to the stage?" Octavia requested without so much as a trace of alcohol in her voice.

Soarin burst from his seat and began to roll his joints. "That's our queue, Spitz. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," she droned, following him.

After they were out of earshot, the stallion nudged his partner out of wherever her mind had run off to.

"You alright?" he asked with genuine concern.

She shrugged. "Yeah. I guess I'm just a little disappointed is all."

His eyes fell somewhat. "Me too. But hey, at least it's both of us."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it would kind of suck if one of us got shot down and the other succeeded."

Spitfire smiled and shook her head. "So, what? We're each other's backups now?"

"Eh. Let's be honest. You had more of a chance than I did. Getting with her would kind of be like getting with the Princesses for me. It just wasn't gonna happen. But it was fun to think about."

"I'm not too sure about that. My 'chance' was more like me being totally creepy and pushy. Seriously, I can't believe I acted like that. Like I was a freaking schoolfilly or something!"

"We both acted silly. That's what these stupid crushes do to a pony."

"You know what? Screw crushes."

"Screw crushes?"

"Screw crushes."

She then, in front of what might as well have been all of Equestria in this media-driven age, pulled Soarin into the deepest, most powerful kiss she could muster. No caution. No bull.

The crowd didn't exactly go silent. Silence was impossible once you got past a certain number of ponies. But the noise definitely dropped by a few decibels as the display of affection dragged on.

When she finally let him come up for air, she had her forelegs wrapped tightly around his neck, eyes staring into and beyond his.

"Screw crushes," he agreed.

...

Two sounds could be heard at this point.

One was the howl of Vinyl Scratch as if she'd just seen two schoolhouse lovebirds hold hooves. Luckily, all dialogue was being taped for security reasons. That sound would go on to play in the background of many a sitcom.

The other was the exasperated sigh of one purple unicorn in the stands.

"Is this really happening right now?" she complained to nopony in particular. "She was just practically sitting on Blitz's lap! And now this? Honestly!"

"I know!" interjected Rarity with less anger. "They've been in how many interviews? Not once did they share that they were together! The public needs to know, Twilight! We deserve the gossip if they've got it!"

Shut up, Rarity. That's not what I meant, said Twilight's unfiltered mind. When it passed through the necessary channels, it came out as yet another frustrated sigh.

Settle down, Twilight, came a less confrontational part of her. You won.

Which is true, of course. Some unpleasant breakup was undoubtedly in the making, which was anything but Rarity's promised "benefit to Equestria". There was nothing more to worry about.

She briefly donned a relaxed smile for the first time that night. Briefly, because it was immediately replaced by one of anticipation. Turns out she was supposed to be having fun. Who knew.

...

"Fillies and gentlecolts! I present to you: the Wonderbolts!"

The lights dimmed. The crowd silenced.

The drums began.

(A small note. You see, I had originally embedded the lyrics to the song in the above link, but recent news on fimfiction has discouraged that sort of thing. So, instead of the dark lyrics of Klayton, you will be subject to my musings on his dark lyrics. I do hope you are satisfied. Remember that I never asked for this.)

They were accompanied by some muffled, low, electronic instrument. Just as the sound had begun, the flyers took off to the center of the stadium. Spitfire stopped on a dime, her fiery trail fading quickly without any means of support. Soarin kept his course and began to circle his partner, engulfing them both in a thick sphere of stone-gray smoke. He picked up speed as the music reached a crescendo.

"Blackstar!"

With each synthesized boom, the sphere pulsated and grew. It soon reached several meters in diameter.

"Blackstar!"

An orange light within the sphere flashed with the next booms, lingering and growing each time. From every angle, it resembled an eclipsed sun. Pitch blackness in the center surrounded by a blazing corona.

A high pitched chorus began in the background. As it rose in volume, Soarin emerged from the cloud and began to form a horizontal ring around it with his dark trail. At the moment he left, it started to grow brighter.

(Whoever was singing this song sounded rather hostile as he went on about "Blackstars" and "spitting".)

The stallion retreated back into his sphere just as Spitfire came out. She started to fly through his ring, dispersing it in favor of her brighter trail.

(Our narrator continued with his rant about some group that would grant some wish or other. He didn't sound too happy about the whole deal, to be honest. )

A trio of booms rocked the stadium and Soarin burst out again, arcing in and out of his structure.

(It soon became apparent that our narrator was not the one being subject to this unfortunate wish.)

Spitfire mimicked the stallion, her blazing loops resembling solar flares.

(About here, he shared with us that there was little to be done about these wishes.)

Their creation truly exemplified chaos. Considering a few members of the audience were rather accustomed to that concept, this was quite a feat.

(He asserted that we should not even waste our effort.)

Fleeting shadows and flames provided more visual stimulation than most of the ponies knew what to do with.

(Yet he felt that we should praise this impotence. Strange.)

They retreated back into the burning void as the singer began an ominous moan.

...

"I must say, Twilight. I've never taken you to be a fan of... whatever this is," Rarity remarked to her head-bobbing friend.

The purple unicorn smiled sheepishly. "I admit, it is a bit loud for my tastes. But it's not that bad. I'm more interested in the meaning of songs rather than the sound."

Their farmer friend snorted. "Speak fer' yerself. Ah' can't even figure out what the hay kind of instruments they're playin in this thing! Sounds like one o' them mechanical juicers or sumthin."

"It's called a synthesizer."

"A syth-o-what now?"

"Synthesizer. It's like a machine that can be used to make music. Most songs of this genre are made on a computer."

Applejack scratched her head. "Computer? Ain't that cheatin'?"

"Oh not at all," interjected the yellow pegasus who was happy to find anything to distract her from the assault on her ears. "They have just as much trouble with their programs as other musicians do with their instruments. The only advantage they receive is the ability to make unique sounds."

Rarity felt confused, as did her other friends. "Fluttershy, darling? Do you listen to this type of music?"

"Oh no. Of course not. But some of the animals do."

"Th- the animals?"

"Yes. Celldweller is very popular among the fruit bats. And little Angel loves his dubstep."

Nopony knew exactly what to make of that. Between the explosions in their eyes and the noise in their ears, there wasn't enough room in their heads to properly process the image of that sweet little bunny bounding along to some ear-shattering bass drops.

Not including Pinkie, of course. She simply returned to bobbing her head and humming along as if she had expected as much.

By the second verse, Rarity had cleared her head enough to get back to probing. She leaned over to Twilight.

"You said you were more concerned with the meaning of songs. What exactly does this one mean? I can't quite find one."

The unicorn smiled a cheesy smile. The smile the protagonist dons as he or she spits out a catchy one-liner. Or what would have been considered catchy about half a century before ponies discovered actual wit.

"Oh, something along the lines of, 'Be careful what you wish for.'"

The fashionista shrugged an unimpressed shrug. "Hm. I suppose that's as good a lesson as any. I can't imagine why he couldn't just lower his voice to tell us, though."

"What?" Twilight asked. "You've got a better lesson?"

"Nothing of the sort. I simply don't agree is all."

"Don't agree? What's not to agree with?"

"The heart wants what the heart wants, Twilight. On some matters, it just takes a leap of faith. What one desires may very well be worth the risk."

Twilight frowned, annoyed.

"So we should throw caution to the wind whenever the spirit moves us?"

"I suppose not. Though I recall hearing that fortune favors the bold. It doesn't matter anyway. Look at us! Arguing during this, of all things! By the way, do you have any idea how they make those lights like that?" Rarity gave a short laugh and shook her head. "Of course you know! You're Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight Sparkle did know. Her head just wasn't exactly in the right place for the explanation. Her opponent just gave up a perfectly good chance to make her point. Had she really forgotten? No. She's more clever than that. Still, tutor Twilight was far more powerful than combatant Twilight, and she did not hesitate to take the reins.

"Well to understand this, you have to know that magic isn't limited to unicorns. All ponies have some means of magic. It all just depends on the location in which the magic is stored..."

So she went on with a lesson that most college students were scammed into paying for. Though Rarity couldn't quite pay complete attention to her with all those bright lights and booms going off around her. It's also worth mentioning that she did not particularly care.

...

One absurdly long chant of "hallelujah"s, courtesy of the singer with Pinkie singing backup a bit too cheerfully, later, the black sun in the middle of the stadium had reached critical mass. Its swirling black surface bubbled with what appeared to be orange plasma. Parents grabbed a hold of their children out of instinct. Because nothing stops an incoming inferno more than an additional layer of squishy pony flesh.

It did not engulf them, thankfully. And even if it did, they signed the waivers. The star began to shrink just as the song calmed down to a relatively slow pace. Our singer lapsed back into his third verse, which was in fact nearly the same as the first, as the sounds grew fainter

Then, the respite was taken away just as swiftly as it came. The chorus and the booms returned, the star contracting with each beat. Soon, it appeared too small for a foal to fit inside, let alone two flying adult pegasi.

And yet it continued to shrink. The sphere slowly became little more than a point in the air. An infinitesimally small spot that seemed to distort the air around it. As the singer repeated his chorus, it started to shake unnaturally. As if it was not meant to exist in this reality.

The black hole drew attention like a real one would draw anything else. It was mesmerizing to see beyond the event horizon. To see a true void. The blackest black, and so on.

A low buzz faded into existence just above everypony's hearing threshold. It was not coming from the speakers or a foal that thought it was cute to download that "mosquito ringtone". It didn't even seem like a sound a machine could make. And it was angry.

Dread struck the audience as they watched the unstable, oscillating mass. Would it swallow them up? Trap them in the darkness forevermore?

Apparently not. With the final lyrics, the sound cut off abruptly. At that instant, the black hole collapsed in on itself and allowed reality to come back into focus. Nopony could be entirely certain what had happened. They tried not to blink, for all the good it did them. They wanted to see how it would end.

But the eyes were not up to such a task. After the inexplicable daze that followed the disappearance of the show's only prop, the performers appeared out of thin air, as if they had not even been moving.

After a short pause, cheers erupted from the stands coupled with some muffled plopping noise. Some ponies had not yet figured out that stamping on clouds didn't have quite the same effect as it would back on the ground. So they switched to whistling and clapping their hooves together.

From afar, the team looked rather imposing. They floated back to back with their expressions blank as if they had not just bent space and time.

"My word!" Rarity exclaimed, gawking. "They aren't even winded!"

...

"I'm dying, Spitz," murmured Soarin through pursed lips.

She didn't move to acknowledge him. "If I," she swallowed. "If I turn my head one more time, I will throw up."

"Why do we even do that routine?" he asked laboriously. "We feel like crap afterwards."

"Because it's the best one we've got and we can't afford to be shown up by anypony at this thing."

"But it's Rainbow Dash!"

"But nothing. We've got an illusion to maintain. Now, I'm going to turn slowly so we can head back to our seats. If I throw up on you, sorry."

She placed a hoof on him for support and nearly sent him plummeting toward Equestria.

"I don't think I'm gonna make it," he whimpered.

Spitfire grunted and mentally demanded the world to stop spinning. "Keep it together. We just need to stay alive for a little bit longer and then we can crash on the bed."

Mentioning a bed caused Soarin to drool as if he'd seen a pie on a windowsill. However, another detail caught his attention as well.

"We?"

"What? You expect me to fly all the way to my house after that?"

The stallion faked a weary sigh, which was easy given his condition. "Fine. I guess you can stay at my place."

"Like you would send me away. C'mon, I need to sit down."

"Yeah. I like the idea of sitting down."

...

Vinyl Scratch had moved her stylish shades up and over her horn in order to display the awe she was feeling. At night, there's really no reason to wear them anyway. However, she preferred to keep ponies' eyes off of hers. They got all upset about it for reasons she couldn't understand.

Speaking of things she couldn't understand, her drunken mind was having trouble processing what had just happened in front of her. It was like, some black dot or something. But then there was no dot and there were Wonderbolts instead. Weird.

"Dude..." she breathed, trailing off immediately. She couldn't even dedicate any thought to the hoof waving before her face.

"Snap out of it Vinyl. Just two more and you can- oh what did you call it? 'Trip out' or whatever it is. Come on. You can speak, correct?"

"Huh? R-right. Right. Who's next?" She squinted at a sheet of paper before her, mouthing what she read. "Double Rainbow? Tch. Alright. Double Rainbow, you're up!"

...

Rainbow Dash scowled back at the stadium in the distance, the brightest spot in the nighttime Cloudsdale. The Wonderbolts were supposed to go next, but there were other things to think about.

Luna was being less than generous with the moonlight tonight. How could one full moon be dimmer than another? Did it change with the princess's mood? Was she sad or angry?

Or maybe it was just a side effect of Dash seeing red.

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of that stupid little scene replaying over and over in her mind. Those two tangled up on the floor, her with that damned grin of hers. "Hey what's up?" she said when he ran off. She then said "Blrgh!" as Dash's hoof passed through her head.

"I should have punched her harder," Dash spat. "She doesn't care about anypony but herself. I knew she hadn't changed."

Some part of Dash tried to find a way to excuse Lightning's actions, but it received a cold glare every time it tried to speak. So what if she didn't know about them? She should have asked. Or picked up on it sometime between the wrestling and the punch. Dash considered returning for a few more blows at that smug little face.

"And him? Oh I'll get him for this. Freakin' Blitz."

...

Author's Note

Short because school.

"Oh jeez, Mozzarella," you may be saying. "Are you really gonna put us through this tired old story line?"

Well don't even trip, chocolate chip, 'cause there are two things we don't sell here. Clichés and bullshit.

The song was Blackstar by Celldweller, by the way.

Are you Done?

"To be cool is to dash. To be awesome is to dash rainbows."

Graphs

***

It seemed like the right thing to do at first.

Let's be honest. Who doesn't dream of pulling some climactic stunt or emotional act to see if it feels as cool as it looks in the movies? We'll slam doors in a huff and wait for a chance to say some line we've been working on for several sleepless nights. But it never works out. We end up worrying about the state of the door and missing the opportunity to use the line. But we'll continue to act in the hopes that some day we will feel awesome.

Dash wasn't feeling too awesome.

She should have felt awesome. She got closer to her idols than ever before. She was having a nice night out with friends. She was even about to blow everypony's minds with some sick moves.

Then Lightning screwed it up. And then Blitz continued to screw up.

Seeing as Lightning already had a black eye and a loose tooth, that only left one screw-er up-er to deal with.

It took Dash a minute or so of blindly flying around before she considered that she was searching for her clone. Surely, wherever he thought to run off to, she could figure out on her own.

So where would I go if I screwed up?

A cloud, of course. Not much help there, what with all the clouds in Cloudsdale. So more specifically, a high cloud. No. The highest of clouds.

She turned her head upward. Sure enough, there was one small puff higher than the rest, just big enough to conceal a pony that screwed up.

"Can't run or hide from me, Blitz."

...

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! went Blitz's mind. He lay on the most hidden cloud he could find, curled up as small as he could make himself while he clutched his head in his hooves. Not the most dignified of states. But hey, at least he wasn't rocking back and forth.

Anymore.

That kiss, if it could be called that, had made him want to throw up, which was somewhat odd. It's not as if Lightning Dust was unattractive or anything. She had the face and the body that plenty of stallions would be happy to find putting them in a choker hold. So what made Blitz react how he did?

"I don't freaking know! It was wrong! It was just wrong!"

In reality, he could not care less about what made Lightning Dust repulsive aside from her personality. Hating her was just more pleasant than considering the other, more pressing issue.

The stallion groaned and buried his muzzle in the cloud.

Why couldn't she have been an assassin or something? Then I wouldn't have to figure out all this bull. I would get to die without pissing anypony off or losing the mare I lo-

He stopped himself and sat up quickly as something clicked in his head.

"Why am I moping around?" he asked the cloud. "I'm Rainbow-freaking-Blitz! I don't quit 'cause I tripped up. I should fly back there, march up to her, and-"

"Blitz!" yelled a familiar and annoyed voice from below. "Come out!"

Such a ball of lead dropped into the stallion's gut that he probably should have been worried about lead poisoning. However, the fight or flight response was doing a good job of toning down any other concerns, even if it chose hide instead of its eponymous actions.

I can't talk to her right now! How do I even explain what happened? "Yeah I was just walking there and then she kissed me"? She won't believe that. I'm done. I ruined it.

He thrust his head back into the cloud along with the rest of him and wished to disappear off the face of Equestria.

...

"Seriously?" Dash muttered at the sight of a poorly hidden and shivering Rainbow Blitz. "Does he think that's gonna save him?"

She walked silently over to him and pondered how to draw him out of the flimsy cocoon he built himself. Say something? Nah. Startle him? Closer.

Blitz yelped as a high velocity hoof collided with his flank, nearly sending him off the edge of his hiding spot. Momentarily forgetting his guilt and fear, he looked up indignantly at his attacker with a threat on his tongue.

He promptly froze. An audible gulp could be heard.

Quite the contrast from her clone's, Dash's face portrayed absolutely nothing. She frowned, of course. But nothing else could be discerned from that visage. Somehow, that made her even more frightening.

Blitz's mind raced, preparing for the inevitable. Excuses and explanations were considered and discarded at a record speed. His dismal outlook seemed to think that none of them would dig him out of this quandary.

"Well?" Dash asked with no inflection.

The stallion opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, despite the fact that there were no words in that head to begin with. No good ones, anyway. But silence definitely wasn't the right answer. This was clear enough given the mare's look of growing impatience.

Alright. Words. I should do words.

The croak that escaped his mouth was not a word. To his displeasure, it strongly resembled the voice of somepony who had been crying or was about to start. And Blitz was neither of those things. Definitely.

"I-I... I didn't...I..." He had become stuttering personified and it was not helping his case in the slightest.

Dash, still unamused, leaned her head closer in the hopes that one of the I's would be followed by a sentence.

"You what?"

Although it had only been a few days, it would still be mostly correct to say that Blitz's life flashed before his eyes. Most of said life just so happened to center on the angry mare in front of him.

He saw their shocking meeting and their awkward interaction. He saw the determination on her face whenever they flew. He saw the realization in her eyes as they finally gave in to what they wanted.

The laughs. The taunts. The banter. All of his memories involved her. And all of them were happy.

Pretty good, quipped a voice inside him that had been silenced not long ago.

Yeah, he answered darkly.

The voice sighed. Listen. I'm only gonna tell you this one more time. Don't give up with this just because you're an idiot.

Thanks, but it's too late. I betrayed her.

True to its word, the voice remained silent.

The stallion's attention snapped back to his double, a more somber image than he saw in his dreams. But it was a pleasant sight nonetheless.

Well, she deserves an explanation.

He gathered his courage, swallowed his pride, and prepared for the worst.

"Look. I- I didn't mean to do it, alright? She just sort of popped up and jumped me. I hated it, like, a lot. I shouldn't have even let her get that far, but she surprised me, alright? I said before she was acting weird, right? I told her to stop, you know! And she went on with it! I mean, come on! What the hell?!"

Dash blinked lazily.

"I know! That doesn't make it okay. I'm sorry, alright? Really sorry! I've really liked what we've had going on, whatever it is. I wasn't trying to screw it up! It just happened! I would never want to betray you! I- I love you!"

The blink was not at all lazy this time as she sucked in an inaudible breath.

Blitz slouched forward and bowed his head. "I'm sorry. I love you and I'm sorry."

The words hung in the cool night air, neither pegasus making an attempt to disturb them. Not that they were even able to do so. Blitz didn't have much left in him after pouring his heart out, however incoherent its contents may have been. Dash's ears were still ringing from the bombshell he just dropped.

But it's much easier to recover from shock than from helplessness. After setting aside one particular remark that would be addressed later, Dash took another step forward.

"Are you done?" she asked, still without much emotion.

The stallion nodded without raising his gaze from the worst hiding spot ever.

Given time, he might have continued his spiel in a more elegant manner. Or said goodbye. Or maybe he might have walked off in a nice climactic, tear-jerking display that would leave the audience with a large debt to tissue manufacturers.

But instead, he was met with yet another high velocity hoof. This time to the face.

Dash shook the aching recoil off of her hoof as her clone fell onto his side. "I could almost care what you and your secret admirer were doing back there." Dash's inflection was back in full force, which was both refreshing and painful.

Blitz rubbed his cheek and felt around his mouth for his teeth. "W-what?"

"Is that really why you think I'm here?"

"You're not mad?" he asked, thoroughly confused.

"Mad? I'm furious!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't gonna cut it. You're making me miss the Wonderbolts right now! The Wonderbolts!"

The stallion's eye twitched. He didn't know whether he should laugh, sob, or both.

"What?"

"No what's," she said, grabbing him by the foreleg. "Now come on. We can still catch the end."

Blitz yanked his hoof away and turned Dash to face him.

"Hold up. You don't care about Lightn-"

She rolled her eyes and sat back on her hind legs. "Please. You think I feel threatened by your little stalker?" She ran a hoof along her back, emphasizing her own flanks. "You wouldn't give this up for her. You're not that stupid."

Blitz fell onto his haunches with a tired expression. "I don't understand anything anymore. Am I in trouble?"

"Not if you move your ass! Let's go!" She crouched to take off, but just as her hooves left the cloud, she felt her weight disappear as two blue hooves tucked under her back and lifted her. Before she could look up and give a flirtatious grin, the stallion had already brought her lips to his. Relieved to see her clone being forward, she closed her eyes and wrapped her forelegs around him.

They drifted lazily in the direction of the stadium, Dash no longer in much of a rush to see the show. Breathing, however, remained a pressing issue. So they parted, panting, content to simply look at one another.

Blitz sighed and shook his head. "Have I ever told you how cool you are?"

The mare laughed and pulled in closer. "Love you too, Blitzy."

...

"Doooooooooooouble Raaaaaaaaaaaaaainbow!" called Vinyl Scratch into her microphone. "Where aaaaaaaaaaare you?"

"Settle down, Vinyl," reprimanded her co-MC. "We have rules, remember? If they don't show up promptly, we have to disqualify them."

"What!? Nononono. We're not disqualifimying this one."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause they're gonna be cool, that's why! Would you disqualify cool?"

The sound of the grey mare's sigh had become very familiar to the audience over the course of the competition. "How do you know they will entertain? Have you met them?"

"Uh. Sort of. I spoke to them, like, twice."

"Have you seen them fly?"

"Err..."

"So what makes them so special?"

"They chose Pendulum, Tavi! Pendulum! Can't you feel the goosebumps just thinking about it? I want the rush so bad!"

There was the sigh again. "We're waiting whether I want to or not, aren't we."

The unicorn nodded emphatically.

"Very well. Please excuse us while we take yet another intermission. A brief-" she shot her partner a sharp look, "-intermission."

...

Rarity huffed and raised her chin. "Hmph. And here I was thinking that mare had class. She wants to skip over our Dash's performance!"

"Here we go again," sighed Twilight. "She doesn't want to skip them. They just have a schedule to keep."

"Don't tell me you believe that. In case you haven't noticed, this isn't the best organized event out there.They have a second to spare."

"I don't know, Rarity," Fluttershy chimed in. "They shouldn't give anypony any special treatment. That wouldn't be fair."

The purple unicorn grinned. "Thank you Fluttershy. Good to see that somepony understands rules."

The white one readied a rebuttal only to be interrupted by a less proper voice.

"Aw, settle down both a' ya'. Ya'll have been bickerin' all night. Jus watch like the rest of us, alright?"

"We were not bickering," Rarity objected. "We were having a discussion."

Pinkie's forelegs somehow managed to shush all of them. "Everypony be quiet! Something's happening!"

A silent moment passed among them. Long enough for Pinkie's elongated arms to begin to look rather creepy.

Fluttershy daintily removed the pink appendage. "Um. Pinkie? I don't see anything."

The party pony pouted and scanned the sky. "That's weird. I could have sworn I felt a tickle on my neck."

"What does that one mean?"

"Something cool is about to happen!"

That's when the lightning struck.

...

There it was. That feeling. The pounding in her heart. The grin that wouldn't go away. To call it a swarm of butterflies would be insulting to the tempest in her stomach.

It was a good tempest, though. Like the kind that would give the fillies and foals a day off of boring school.

Across the stadium, her partner met her gaze and wagged his eyebrows. She responded in kind.

The crowd was silent. That was new. Dash preferred some fanfare, but awe was good too.

"I take it the two ponies who rode in on two rainbow lightning bolts are the members of team Double Rainbow?" Octavia asked her partner, eliciting from her an exasperated sigh.

"You would find a way to ruin a moment like that," she grumbled. "Sorry folks. She's got a rod up her rump like this big."

"This again? I thought you said you'd be coming up with new jokes."

"They've had enough of this for one night. Can we just get to the show?"

"You're the one on the records."

Vinyl glared at her and turned back to the two ponies who came in so awesomely. They gave her a nod and she flipped the switch.

...

Alright. So they haven't broken up or emotionally scarred each other. Whatever. There's still no real reason to make more clones.

Twilight's concentration was broken after an electronic groan pierced her skull. It was short lived, thankfully, and the song moved right into some nice, intellectually stimulating lyrics. Said lyrics were accompanied by some loud drums but hey, she wasn't picky at the moment.

Of course the singer was yelling. She'd expected as much after the past few performances. But tone was meaningless in the face of meaning, so the unicorn pushed through the unpleasant sounds to hear the words.

The singer began with a diatribe concerning some forgone conclusion or event. Despite the anger, there was a bitter satisfaction in the voice. Twilight smirked at the relevance.

Just as the singer had begun, the colorful pegasi burst from their perches toward the clouds spread out around the performance area. At speeds only attainable by comic book superheros, the duo set about gathering the fluffy mounds in a vortex at the stadium's center

I couldn't possibly make clones just for the fun they might have with them, said the part of her mind still obsessing about the issue. There's no reason to do it. So I won't.

Once all the clouds were drawn into a single, pulsating mass, the performers began to widen their circle and decrease their speed, their rainbow trails growing shorter in the process.

It was at this moment that Twilight heard a rather troubling lyric that contradicted the resolve she had built up.

"'Cause it's simple. You were wrong.You must have known that we'd end up alone."

What? Who's wrong? I'm not wrong.

The singer proceeded to dismiss the subject's intentions. He also uttered a dirty word that was poorly edited out. Everypony could tell what he said.

Without any warning but the song's crescendo, Dash and Blitz bolted into the center of their arc, bursting the clouds into a colorful shock wave that would have harmed the audience had the pegasi not appeared before its wake to guide it back inward.

The pair began to corral the storm of now rainbow-colored clouds back into the stadium's center to the tune of the song's wordless chorus, allowing it to expand each time the bass got louder.

Twilight felt a hoof on her shoulder and then reacted to it three pokes later. It was Rarity wearing an expression of absolute awe.

"Do you see this? How do they even do all of that?"

The purple unicorn had to fight through some awe of her own to find the answer in the cavernous database that was her brain. "Well, uh, they're focusing some of their power on shaping their trails and leaving- wow- leaving a whole lot of it behind in those clouds. There must be a lot concentration to keep those things stable for so long after being released! And to be flying like that must be taking so much effort and synchronization on their part! How do they- they shouldn't- nopony should be able to do that!"

Rarity shook her head, still looking just as bewildered as before. "Huh. They really are amazing. And they've accomplished all this in just a few days! Can you believe this Twilight?"

Seeing is believing, as the old saying went and it would have been hard for her to not see it. But there were other things she was seeing at the moment if her mumbling under her breath was any indication. She kept mouthing the word "accomplish".

Double Rainbow pushed their props back into the center while the song repeated what must have been its refrain a couple more times. When it was about to repeat for a fifth time, the tune abruptly and momentarily slowed. At that point, the duo looped upwards as one, crashing through the clouds and splitting into two oddly distinct colored bullets.

Dash pulled ahead in their path around the borders of the Cloudiseum, flying in smooth, graceful arcs as a relatively high-pitched synthesizer played.

Blitz then cut in when a guttural bass played, leaving a trail of vertical zigzags that looked sharp enough to slice a cloud in half. Granted, that wasn't difficult. But come on. You can't expect magically enhanced water vapor to be that high on Mohs scale of hardness.

They continued their back and forth with each change in the melody until a new higher pitched grind of a synthesizer appeared. With it, Dash and Blitz corkscrewed around one another until their nearly opaque auras merged into one straight line circling the stadium.

"Alright," growled a griffon in front of the pony posse. "I'll admit it. You ponies are making me a little jealous with all the magic and crap. That really does look cool."

Spitfire nudged her foreleg. "Hey, come on. You griffons have cool stuff too. I mean, look at how much bigger your wings are."

Gilda snorted. "Yeah yeah. They're great in the bedroom. But we still don't get awesome light shows. You know what we have in the Griffon Kingdom? Freakin' interpretive dance! Like, seriously?"

Soarin shrugged. "Well, you've got the whole 'perfect killing machine' thing going for you. That's gotta count for something, right?"

"Yeah, that does help sometimes," the bird creature admitted, examining her claws. "Of course, with anger issues..." she trailed off.

A pair of yellow hooves wrapped around her shoulders. "Don't say things like that," Fluttershy said in her most soothing voice. "You're doing a great job already. Right girls?"

A round of disinterested agreements washed over them from those in the vicinity. Excluding Twilight, of course. She still sat with her mouth hanging open staring at the flyers.

If they can do all of this together, what could I do? What could everypony do?

She remained so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice the victorious smile on her fellow unicorn's face.

The performing ponies traveled skyward together, carrying their rainbow payload in the air around them as the music took up a slower and bouncier pace.

We could do so much. We could help so many ponies.

"Here we go again," echoed an electronic voice from the speakers through the Cloudiseum.

The magically infused cloud continued its relatively sluggish ascent with the ever intensifying build up. The crowd strained their necks to see the shrinking orb in the night sky.

Just before the music reached its climax, the duo plummeted toward the poorly placed safety floor. At their increasingly dizzying speed, it seemed unlikely that they would avoid it. So they charged ahead anyway. Screw consequences.

The synthetic screech grew louder and flames began to engulf the colorful comet approaching Equestria's atmosphere. When it reached the height of the edifice's highest floor, the singer let out a primal howl. Right on queue, the comet exploded with an ear-shattering boom.

Oddly enough, there was some legislation in Canterlot that was trying to ban low altitude sonic booms. After the show, the bill would be edited to include the apparently not mythical Sonic Rainboom. It was overwhelmingly vetoed on the grounds of trying to decrease awesomeness. Arguments for ear health fell on ironically def ears.

Don't worry about the audience's ears, though. With all the speed they had built up, Dash and Blitz had no problem moving faster than the product of their velocity to yet again corral the shock wave around the rim of the stands. They may or may not have caused irreparable damage to the floor in the process, but who cares.

The pulsating whirlpool seemed much more violent this time around. Its edges crackled with magical electricity and it produced a rather strong gust that swallowed a few scattered pieces of food debris.

Over the course of the refrain, the pegasi managed to compress the torrent into a blob too unstable and too gelatinous to be called a sphere. As the song reached its final verse, the pegasi launched into a tilting orbit about the prismatic mass to surround it from all angles.

What would have been a good example of electronic music phased into a tune that would have been more appropriate for the shower scene of a horror movie. Dash and Blitz increased their angular speed until their trails formed a complete sheath around the cloud bomb they created.

The sound grew along with the bomb along with the anxiety of the audience. For some reason, a crackling and pulsating ball in the middle of a crowded area made them nervous in spite of its eccentric hue. Rainbows were usually friendly, but these looked angry. In an awesome way.

The music intensified. Ponies inched forward on their seats. Eyes widened.

With a rapid drumbeat, the two showponies burst out of their mind-boggling path from opposite sides. In a split second, they arced under the bomb and unleashed the beast.

Had one been listening to the song without a show, it would have faded to silence. Very tasteful.

But those who attended the show- and ponies from several miles around- were treated to the loudest crash of thunder they would ever experience with the brightest flash they'd ever be lucky enough not to see head on.

Blindness lingered for a few moments. When everypony managed to rub the light out of their eyes, they looked up to see a single, massive bolt of white lightning reaching far beyond the heavens.

Weird, I know. Those things usually fade pretty quickly.

The applause was immediate and overwhelming. Simply yelling wouldn't do for this one. They would have to clap their hooves together to properly praise that performance.

Soon, the lightning faded enough to reveal the pegasi who created it: a mare hovering effortlessly back to back with a stallion. Both wearing sunglasses, of course.

The crowd only went more wild at their nonchalance.

"Hey Blitz?" the mare whispered without turning her head. "Wanna give 'em one more show?"

"You know it," he replied, turning and taking her in his forelegs.

They made out to the hollering of Vinyl and the rest of the audience.

...

"The library. Tomorrow. Early."

Four faces brightened at those words and turned to the purple source.

"Are you sure, Twilight?" Pinkie said with puppy dog eyes that would put actual puppy dogs to shame.

"No. So we might as well do it before I change my mind."

Satisfied, the pony posse turned their attention to their two friends approaching from the air.

"Hey everypony," they said in unison. "What'd ya think?"

A wave of praise met them, ranging from "Nice" to "Ohmygoshthatwassuperamazingfantasticdoitagain".

"Yeah," Blitz said with his smug face. "It was, wasn't it?"

Spitfire rested a foreleg casually on Soarin. In reality, she needed the support to remain upright. It looked innocent enough, though.

"It certainly was impressive. We might have to break out the real moves next time, eh Soarin?"

Soarin lost in poker a lot. "Heh heh. Yeah. I guess so. You ready to go?"

"Mhm. Later everyone!"

The Wonderbolts received a few puzzled looks and one sad one from the veteran party pony. "Leaving? But it's not over!"

"Eh, Pinkie?" Dash said with uncertainty. "I'm not too sure the next one's gonna be all that great."

"Ohhh, that's right! The meanies are up next!"

"Ya ain't even gonna wait to see if y'all won?" drawled the farmer.

Dash yawned. "They have our address. Besides, it's been a long day. I'm about ready to turn in myself."

"I wouldn't mind skipping ahead of the crowd," Twilight added. "I have a few preparations to take care of for tomorrow anyhow."

Rarity shot her a knowing smile. "Splendid. To the balloon, girls. It's been a lovely evening, but I must get my beauty sleep."

Those with wings took to the air, not bothering with silly things like doors and hallways. Excluding one shy pegasus, of course. The rest started up the stairs.

...

"Remind me to work the team harder tomorrow," Spitfire mumbled into her ride's ear. She might have fallen asleep on his back had she not been afraid he would pass out mid-air.

"We don't have a practice scheduled for tomorrow," he replied.

"Did you or did you not see their show? Did you not hear how they were talking about it? Those two thought that thing up in a few days! We've got to get to work or they'll blow by us!"

"Will do, Captain. Can't promise I'll be too much good, though. You're lucky I have the strength to carry you right now."

She squeezed his neck harder. "Don't worry, Soarin. I'll work you extra hard" she whispered into his ear.

The stallion hoped the mare on his back was being flirtatious and not serious. Although, with his fickle luck, it was probably both.

...

"Really, though. I mean it. Early. I don't want anypony seeing five ponies come in and ten ponies come out over the course of the day. Before daybreak."

The balloon's basket rocked with the force of several nods. They had nearly reached the ground.

"I'm so glad you came around, Twilight," Rarity said with genuine gratitude.

"Yeah, sure. I'm doing this for the good of Equestria, not for us to have fun. Okay?"

They nodded again, this time failing to rock the basket on the ground.

The purple unicorn hopped out. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a few runes to draw."

The others exited as well, off to their respective homes. Applejack stuck to her most fashionable friend for a moment.

"Ah gotta say, ya really are good at this."

"Thank you, darling. You know I do try."

"Ah just hope it don't blow up in our faces," AJ said having forgotten the sadistic humor of the fates.

"Oh come now. What could go wrong?"

Somewhere in the cosmos, three old ladies cackled as they plucked a string.

...

What they had done could only roughly be considered brushing of the teeth, even by Dash's standards. But there was sleeping to do. And sleeping is much higher on the list than hygiene.

They sighed as they melted into each other beneath the blankets, squirming slightly just to feel the sensation more.

"What's on the agenda for tomorrow?" Blitz asked into Dash's mane where his muzzle currently resided.

The mare turned her face up from the crook of his neck. "Work, then whatever. Never too much to do on a weekend. I usually nap, fly around a little, reread some Daring Doo..."

"Daring Who?"

"Daring Do. You know, that book series with-" Her eyes popped open. "Oh yeah. You don't know. Huh."

"Is it good?"

"'Is it good?'" she laughed. "Well I know what we're doing tomorrow. I've got to get you to the library!"

...

Author's Note

That sounds an awful lot like a sequel to me... Probably because I've planned a sequel. Hmm.... Also, the song is Showdown by Pendulum.

The story continues in Integrals!

I Found him in a Box

"...and some have awesomeness thrust upon them."

Graphs

***

The town was well known for it's eclectic architecture. No color went unused on the walls and shutters of the various houses lining the streets. The businesses were no less interesting. A bakery on one street corner appeared to have been made with the pastries it produced. The library, perhaps the dullest location imaginable, had been carved into a tree. Not to mention the headquarters of some of the farms located around town had been made to look like monuments of their staple crop. However, one building still managed to stand out through some inscrutable expression of flair and elegance.

Despite its undeniable style, Carousel Boutique had seen better days. It seemed as though most mares in Ponyville were already proud owners of one of Rarity’s designer dresses, which they would find to fit both their bodies and their interests perfectly. Upon seeing their custom garment, Rarity’s customers were sufficiently wowed.

Unfortunately, even the best of dress makers cannot wow indefinitely. Eventually, everypony that came in the shop simply said that nothing “popped out at them”. In addition, this seemed to be one of those towns that preferred to feel the breeze on their coat rather than look fabulous. It did not help that the shop’s proprietor had been put on foalsitting duty for the past few days.

Mannequins and boxes of thread were flying around the white unicorn as she gazed upon some sketches. The designs had become more elaborate as her frustration grew. With no one to absorb said frustration, she had to settle for mumbling about the three little demon-fillies that had hit her place of work.

She began to walk towards a colorful closet stuffed with fabric. A moment was spared to consider the fate of the three little forces of nature that had been unleashed upon her place of work.

“I do hope they’re at least staying out of trouble,” Rarity absently mumbled. The equine marshmallow paused, pondering what she just said. Floating supplies suddenly stopped in mid-air.

“Actually, self-destructive behavior seems to have paid off in the past.” Images of a certain goddess of eternal night flooded her head. “I went to battle with my friends against a malevolent goddess with no guarantee or even a chance of success.” She frowned and recalled some other previous misadventures.

“Twilight jumped off a cliff onto jagged rocks because Pinkie said she’d be alright...”

Rarity shook her head at these realizations. Surely this couldn’t be true. It defied reason.

With a tired, yet somehow frighteningly energetic smile, she proceeded to imagine several scenarios in which she could see if fate truly would not go against her and her friends. Among them were the incineration of her house, the removal of Twilight’s horn, and the amputation of Applejack’s legs. All with their consent, of course.

Needless to say, Rarity was not in the best of mental states and, consequently, these thoughts were accompanied by giggling fits. Although, the best was yet to come.

It would begin with a tragic accident involving Pinkie and a bridge. Perhaps her cannon misfired. Either way, Pinkie would no longer be with us.

But wait! What’s this? It’s a cloud of pink smoke! It is covering the town. Echoes of the earth pony’s trademark laugh echo through the now opaque air of Ponyville. Inevitably, somepony inhales it. Then laughs. And laughs. And laughs some more.

Within minutes all of Ponyville is laughing and carefree as ever. So carefree, in fact, that they cannot bring themselves to be concerned about their lack of breathing. And who could blame them? Oxygen is overrated anyway. Slowly, the laughter dies down. There are no survivors. But their last moments were absolutely hilarious.

Rarity fell on the ground, holding her sides. She wiped away a tear and realized that she appeared to have gotten off task.

“Oh Rarity, you should write that one down for the therapist.”

The fashion pony trotted over to her table and glanced at the ripped rags that used to be a flowing gown lined with gems. There was going to be a hat to go along with it, but she found her ceiling did not have the necessary clearance to accommodate it.

“Perhaps some of the materials could be salvaged?” she asked hopefully. The torn fabric promptly turned into a pile of dust with a soft poof. Rarity simply stared at the mound of ash, too dumbfounded to explain to the mannequins how that was impossible.

A knock on the door broke her trance. “Coming!” she sang. An indigo aura covered the front door as it swung open. Rarity walked down her staircase to meet the gray Pegasus at the door. Its head rose from a brown saddlebag with a scroll in its mouth.

“Mare phur woo” said the cross-eyed mailmare.

“Why thank you Derpy,” Rarity said, magically grabbing the rolled up paper. “How is Dinky?”

“She’s fine,” replied the Pegasus. “And Sweetie Belle?”

“Oh, she’s off doing Celestia-knows-what with those friends of hers.” Rarity said while rubbing her temple (Ponies have temples, right? Now they have temples). She’ll probably break all her bones she thought. It’ll be for the best. Giggles that must have seemed hysterical now came from the white unicorn. Derpy frowned at the ceiling and the floor (at the same time) and then backed out of the doorway.

Rarity sighed and unraveled the scroll. It was filled with blue writing and sported a blue microphone stamp. The unicorn’s eyes opened wide as she read the message. She dashed up the stairs to a chest along a wall with a big sign discouraging any small fillies from poking around in it.

“Oh please, oh please, oh please...”

The chest opened to reveal her stash of gems reserved for special clients. Her finely tuned instincts informed her that there were not enough gems in the chest to accommodate her client’s expensive tastes. Rarity's face contorted with almost physical pain as she began to search for her self-pity couch.

She stamped a hoof. “No! This is no time for that!” A hat floated off a shelf onto her head before she burst through her front door.

…

“Spike! Could you get the door!” said what appeared to be a pile of books.

“I’m kind of busy right now!” replied a somewhat smaller pile standing precariously on a ladder. "I told you they would do this. But no, we have to trust that they'll learn their lesson. Lemme tell you something, the word patience is not in Sweetie Belle's vocabulary!" The knocking at the door grew stronger and began to shake the entirety of the Ponyville Library.

“Bwah!” said the smaller pile right before tumbling down to the floor. A purple dragon emerged from the rubble a moment later. She has magic, thought Spike. Can’t she deal with these books with a spell? If this is about not showing off or something, I swear I'll-

The sound of rapping on the wooden door continued to grow in frequency and in volume. Spike hurried his pace as much as possible considering the various injuries he felt in his legs. “Ugh. Coming!”

The dragon turned the lock and reached for the knob only to receive an additional concussion when the door swung open and pinned him to the wall. Rarity, donning a green winter cap, bolted through the doorway and began to search frantically through the shelves that lined the walls.

“Twilight? Twilight!” she yelled. The most magical unicorn in Equestria broke out of her own book prison and turned to her fashionable friend.

“Oh hey Rarity. It's a little warm out for an ushanka, isn't it? Can I help you with something?” Books were being thrown from the shelves accompanied by incoherent mumbles from the crazed equine.

“Please do!” she whined (or is it complained?). “I just received another order from Sapphire Shores and I haven’t the time to gather the supplies!”

“Ok…?” Twilight replied, somewhat confused. “…and you need…a book?”

“Yes! Do you have any spell books? I need a spell that can make gems.”

Twilight shook her head. "Sorry, Rarity. It takes a lot of time and effort to just make something. Especially if you don't have a concrete, or crystalline I suppose, foundation to build upon."

"That's fine! I have a few. I just need more!"

“Oh? Well I guess that could make it a bit easier. Lets see…” She trotted over to a shelf containing books thicker than a pony’s hooves. She peered at their spines. “We've got telekinesis, pyrokinesis, pyromancy, The difference between pyrokinesis and pyromancy, voice alteration, necromancy- that one's illegal so don't try it. Telepathy, Thaumaturgy and You, uhh- economics? Why is this here? Umm, aminomorphication, biosynthesis, biogenesis, The difference between yadda yadda… No, I don’t think anyone has published anything on duplication. Come to think of it, I’m not too sure anypony has even looked too far into that subject. I don't think I can help you with this.”

Rarity’s lower lip curled and her eyes took on a size comparable to the circumference of a fire hydrant, threatening to emit a corresponding amount of water.

Twilight withstood the look for longer than some residents of Ponyville could have. Most likely because of her lack of an Y chromosome. And yet, her will was bested by the pleading countenance of the equine siren herself.

"Alright alright. There might be something I can do.” Her purple horn glowed and, moments later, a massive text floated down the stairs. “Look, I don’t keep this down here because it’s extremely valuable. But I can trust you. I present to you Mareium-Webster’s encyclopedia on all things magical! They use these in all the reputable magic universities. It contains information on advanced magic theory and experimental spells. They've got some notes from all the famous magic scholars out there and some instructions for novice magicians."

"This will tell me how to make gems?"

"Not necessarily. But if anypony has studied it, it’ll be in there. Now, I need you to promise to be careful, some of the spells aren’t completely-“

The door slammed shut. Neither Rarity nor the book was anywhere to be seen.

“-understood.” She sighed and noticed Spike drifting in and out of consciousness in a hole in the wall.

“W-was that Rarity?” he managed to mutter before blacking out.

…

The weather schedule said clear skies and sunshine all day. The overcast clouds above everypony’s heads begged to differ. Up in the sky, a faint rainbow trail streaked through the grayness that covered the town.

Whoever managed to mistake a blanket of stratus clouds for no clouds will be hearing from my hoof, thought the coolest rainbow colored pegasus in Equestria. Why do I have to clean it up?

Of course she knew why. She was the best Ponyville’s weather patrol had to offer. It would probably take all day to clear up the sky had anypony else been assigned the job.

Rainbow Dash swooped down low, just low enough to accidentally kick somepony. Whatever. It’s not getting in the way of my morning training. The colorful houses sped by as she performed a series of loops and sharp turns. She pulled upward and evened out into a glide beside the quickly passing buildings. She sighed as the cool air laced itself beneath her feathers.

She could recall a certain legend about bad luck coming to pegasi who shirk their duties. It was a lame one too. Repetitive rhyme schemes, cheesy dialogue, the whole spiel. Her eyes shot back and forth from the increasingly ominous sky and a fast approaching lamppost. Nah, that’s just what they tell foals so they take out the trash. Well, true or not, bad luck would befall the slacking pony. Tension started to build up in her right wing.

“Oh no…”

Muscles in the wing suddenly decided to gather for a group hug, much to the Pegasus’s dismay. “Gah! Foal of a-” she yelled aloud. She wobbled and began to loose altitude.

Ok Rainbow Dash. Relax. They taught you how to handle this. It's just a stupid wing cramp. Just straighten your wing and glide to a landing spot. This turned out to be easier said than done. She closed her eyes and winced as she stiffened the offending wing. It felt like stepping right on a caltrop. A multitude of obscenities flashed through her mind.

Oh, and she didn’t see the window.

…

The large spell book sat atop a pile of dust on a table. Rarity glanced at it once more through her gem-studded glasses and shot a determined gaze at a mannequin wearing a diamond studded dress.

Ok Rarity, you can do this. Her horn lit up and aimed at the mannequin. Behind her sat Twilight’s book along with a generous assortment of sloppy but beautifully written notes. The textbook would have been useful to a professional sorcerer with a working knowledge of complex magic. To Rarity, it looked like one third of the Rosetta stone.

There were a few words she could recognize. “The” and “magic” were found scattered about the pages. There were others that weren’t even written in Equestrian letters. There were much more of the latter category to be found.

Nevertheless, the unicorn pored over the relevant chapters. The subject of duplication had been studied by a number of lesser geniuses, including the obscure Zero X. Painter, before being dismissed as dangerous (The term he used was “suicidal”).

But some silly thing like mortality wasn’t going to stop a fashion designer with a purpose, right!? Of course not. Her notes soon contained a nonsensical plan that, on a good day, might not be fatal. But fashion waits for nopony.

Visualize something splitting in two. A bubble slowly pinching in on it self. What did Twilight call that again? Binary fission? Yes. Envisage binary fission…

Primary magic school teachers would tell a young unicorn to be sure to use a thought process that one thoroughly understands when casting a spell. If one's interpretation of nominal descriptions deviates from their intent, bad things happen. But what do they know?

Several minutes passed as the magic gathered in her horn. Sweat beaded on her forehead. It turned out creating matter took a little more effort than telekinesis did. Now, just release it at the dress. No attention was paid to the object rocketing towards the window.

A crash, a bright light, and two screams filled the air. The once chaotic dress shop was now downright destroyed, by a certain OCD-afflicted pony’s standards anyhow. A cloud of dust filled the room containing about two unconscious ponies.

Eventually, they stirred. Moans of pain broke through the silence.

“Ugh…”

“Oh…”

“My head…”

“My wing…”

“My shop! Rainbow Dash? What in Equestria have you done!?” The unicorn rose and trotted laboriously to the Pegasus.

“Emergency landing.” She muttered as she massaged her wing.

Rarity sighed and helped her friend to her hooves. She grimaced as she surveyed her shop. Broken glass was strewn about near the window, fabric was hanging off of shelves, and dismembered mannequins sat around the room. But, there did not seem to be a trace of blood.

“As long as nopony got hurt…” She looked expectantly at her target mannequin. It remained intact, but without a duplicate. It seems as though I cast the “knock it over” spell.

“Sorry,” Dash said with genuine guilt. “Let me help. I’ll have this place cleaned in ten se-”

“I think you’ve done quite enough speeding for today,” interrupted Rarity, imagining a tornado destroying what remained of her shop. I suppose I’ll give Sapphire a call. I can’t manage any more complicated spells today.

Rainbow Dash scanned the room for something simple to fix. Rarity still hadn’t stopped talking about how her sister “ruined” her “inspiration room”. An upturned box sat in the middle of the room with a strip of jagged multi-colored fabric sticking out.

Alright, she can’t possibly want that there.

She trotted over and nudged the box right side up, revealing the protruding fabric to be somepony’s tail.

Before her sat the unmoving form of a pony. It had a short, messy rainbow mane and the blunt snout characteristic of stallions. Everything from its eyebrows to its tail seemed to resemble a bolt of lightning. It had wings which were spread out on the floor and along its flank sat a very familiar symbol.

Now, Dash isn’t the most mature of ponies, nor was she aware of the spell that was cast upon her. A sly grin crept onto her muzzle.

Rarity, you naughty unicorn you.

“Hey Rarity? Is there a reason you have one of these things lying around?” Puzzled, the unicorn tore herself away from her self-pity-couch (I don’t care what it is, I’m calling it a couch) and strutted over to her friend.

“Whatever do you mean Rainb-” She choked as she took in the sight. “W-w-what is that?!”

“Honestly, Rarity. I’m flattered. I didn’t know you felt that way about me. I mean, I know I’m awesome and all, but you didn’t have to go ahead and make a doll of me to play with.” She winked at the unicorn staring incredulously at her.

Indignation overpowered her confusion. “What kind of pony do you take me for?”

Rainbow Dash continued her teasing, ignoring the angered unicorn. “It’s totally realistic too! You got my hair, my cutie mark, everything. Except, it looks more like a colt to me.” She took on an exaggerated offended expression. “Am I not good enough for you the way I am? And here I thought we had something special.”

Rarity’s face turned red. “I’ve never seen this thing in my life.” Then it dawned on her. “Oh no…”

“Aw don’t worry, Rarity. I won’t tell anypony. Your dirty little secret is safe with me.” Dash winked yet again. “Although, I would look out for Gabby Gums if I were you.”

Rarity turned away with a huff and walked over to Twilight’s gigantic textbook. “What’s that?” Rainbow Dash asked, now giggling obnoxiously. “Is that the catalog where you order these things?”

“No. As a matter of fact, it is a spell book I borrowed from Twilight.” Rarity’s mental light bulb suddenly lit up. Some petty revenge was in order. “I need to check the side effects of the spell I just cast on you.”

The giggling cut like a malfunctioning steam engine. “Uh, what spell?” Dash flew up to the unicorn’s side to peer at the book.

“Oh, just a spell I found to turn things into diamonds,” she said, matter-of-factly. “Oh dear…”

“What! What! What’s happening? Am I going to be ok?” The cyan Pegasus now wore a look of desperation and fear. Her head craned back awkwardly to survey her body for any sign of crystallization.

“I’m afraid it has already begun. First you will feel scared. Petrified, even.” Rarity fought to retain her composure (Laugh at my pun!). Rainbow fell back to the ground with tears welling up in her eyes.

“It will start at your hooves, and then move through your body.” Rarity held up her hooves for a dramatic effect. “Next will be your wings. Then, finally,” (Epic pause), “your head!”

“No no no! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! I swear, I won’t tell anypony about your fetish! Please help me!” Two blue hooves clasped themselves before Rarity, begging for forgiveness. Rarity deadpanned at her now apologetic yet still insulting friend.

“Humph,” she said with a flip of her mane. “I thought you of all ponies would understand a prank.”

Rainbow Dash gazed back at the new best prankster in Ponyville. “S- so you didn’t cast a spell on me?”

“Oh I cast a spell, but not one to turn you to stone. I was trying to clone that dress over there when you-” She paused. There was a sound. Breathing? Grunting? “Do you hear that?”

Dash’s ear twitched. “Yeah, it’s like-“The only other pony in the room attempted to reply, but was interrupted by an annoyed, raspy voice from across the room.

“Would you two shut up? Ugh, can’t a pony get some sleep around here?” it grumbled as it got up.

Rainbow Dash went stiff (Not like that you immature children!) and stared wide-eyed at what apparently was not an –er –adult entertainment device. Rarity held her hoof over her mouth as the mystery colt stood and stretched his wings.

Rarity leaned in to the first Pegasus in the room, equally wide-eyed “I think I… may have just… cloned you.”

“You what?!” cried the Pegasus mare, stunning her friend. “Why would you do that?! What’s going to happen to me?! You can’t just go around magic-ing up clones of ponies! It’s unnatur-“ She stopped her verbal salvo after receiving a ball of thread to the mouth. The stranger balanced another ball in his hoof.

“I said shut up! Now will somepony please tell me where the buck I am?” The angered colt started towards them, rubbing its forehead. Rainbow Dash glared at him and, in an instant, hovered in the air with her hoof inches from his snout.

“Listen punk. Nopony tells Rainbow Dash to shut up. Now who are you?”

“I’m Rainbow Blitz,” he said, brushing away the accusing hoof. “And I’ll tell Rainbow Dash whatever I want.” Rarity blinked.

Rainbow Blitz?

“Keep talkin’ buddy. Now why exactly are you here in Rarity’s shop?” The shop owner continued to flash her eyes back and forth from the pegasus and the, well, other pegasus.

Did I…?

“Who’s Rarity?”

It was Dash’s turn to deadpan. She pointed her hoof. Rainbow Blitz directed his gaze at the white pony now flipping furiously through her spell book. How any book of Twilight’s could leave something unexplained was beyond her.

“Ok. Well, I was just out uh-” He paused and looked up, as if trying to search inside his head.

Dash floated in front of him looking less then merciful.

“I was…” The colt frowned in frustration and knocked his head with his hoof. "I-I don't know. Why don't I know? Why don’t I remember anything? “

“A likely story,” said Dash how she imagined an interrogator would say it. She pressed her face against his, still flying so that she could look down on him. He was about one or two inches taller than her. “WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!”

“I just told you I have no idea what’s going on!” he said, rising into the air to match her.

“And what if I don’t believe you, Rainbow Blitz? If that is your real name.”

“Do something about it! I want to see you try!” The mare brought back her hoof and moved to strike him (Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?) but felt a magical aura yank her away. She then found herself, and her doppelganger, to be magically suspended in mid-air. Rarity stood below them with a stern expression that discouraged any form of argument.

“I’m going to need you two foals to settle down and listen.” The Pegasi crossed their forelegs and pouted identically.

Rarity smirked at the symmetry. “I’m not quite sure what has happened, but you two fighting is not going to make this any better. All I know is that you,” she motioned towards the stallion, “appeared after a duplication spell hit her,” she motioned towards the mare. “You two are going to go ask Twilight how to handle this… situation.” ...because I haven't a clue what's happening. Dash and Blitz floated down to the floor, refusing to make eye contact.

“Do either of you have anything to say? Perhaps an apology is in order?”

A few seconds passed. “Sorry,” they simultaneously muttered, still not looking at each other. Rarity smiled at them.

That’s adorable! “Ok, now hug.”

The pegasi raised their respective eyebrows at the fashion pony.

“I said hug!”

They quickly complied and embraced each other in their hooves. Each frowned as they tried to contain their blush. Blood began to pump to their wings and they quickly parted to contain their appendages.

“Awww. Ok good. Now you’d best get going!” Twilight’s spell book floated onto Rainbow Blitz’s back. He bent over and grunted at the sudden weight.

“Oof! This thing weighs a ton! Why do I have to carry it?”

“Well, you don’t expect your new girlfriend to do the labor, do you? Us mares simply adore a little chivalry now and then.”

The two cyan faces turned redder as they were ushered down the stairs and out the door, which did, in fact, hit them on the way out. They waited in silence for a few seconds, alternately glancing at their other self while the other was not looking.

He is sort of…

She is kind of…

More silence. Rainbow Dash suddenly remembered her task.

“Oh, uh, this way I guess.” She walked forward with Ponyville’s second rainbow Pegasus beside her through the busy streets.

…

Celestia’s sun could only do so much to warm the ponies below it. She left it up to the locals to control the weather if they wanted to see it. Still, no cloud was going to upstage the princess. A dull, distorted disk of light shined through the clouds above Ponyville. It was about noon.

“So… you don’t remember anything?” Rainbow Dash turned to her struggling companion. Was being thrown into Equestria and forced into manual labor unpleasant? Passing ponies did double takes at the twin Pegasi walking through the streets.

“No, not really,” said Blitz, relieved at the conversation. The situation was pretty awkward. “I know my name, and that I like to fly.” He frowned and thought about what he just said. “How do I know that I like to fly? I don’t remember anything before a few minutes ago.” Dash simply shrugged.

While the walked, the mare kept glancing at the sky. “I still have to clear up the sky,” she moaned to nopony. “Somepony went and misread today’s schedule.”

Blitz took a moment to consider her words. He was born very recently and knew nothing about where he was. It’s not like he could have plans for the day. She was the only pony he knew and she probably wanted help. Also, it didn’t hurt that he found her quite cute.

“I could give you a hoof, you know, if you want. I’d like to stretch my wings sometime soon,” he wiggled his wings under the crushing weight of the spell book. “Besides, I can’t leave all that work to some filly. That looks more like a stallion’s job.” He shot her a proud grin.

“I’m the best flyer alive!” She replied angrily. “I could do this job in my sleep. I just don’t want to.”

“Sure you could, Dashie.”

‘Dashie’ quickly turned her head to hide her reddening face. Dashie? Really? Blitz found himself wondering what provoked that name as well. Although, he took no small amount of pleasure in seeing her reaction.

“Whatever. We’ll settle this in the air later. Right now we need to return the book.”

“Sounds good to me,” he said, not seeming all that nervous about SETTLING SOMETHING in the AIR with THE Rainbow Dash. “Anyway, is there anything I should know about this place?”

“Well, we are in Ponyville, Equestria. Princess Celestia is our princess. And we are on our way to see Twilight Sparkle. She knows all about magic stuff. I guess she can tell us if you’ll blow up soon or something. That’s her textbook that you’re carrying right now.”

“Wait, what?” His expression fell.

“I said that’s her textbook.”

“No, the other part.” He said, looking more concerned.

“Oh yeah. Princess Luna is Celestia’s sister. They both rule together. I keep forgetting about her. I really think she should get out m-”

He rushed in front of her and grabbed her shoulders. “I meant the part about me blowing up!”

“Relax Blitzy.” She smiled at his look of horror and pushed him off of her. “Oh, here it is. The library.”

Blitz took a break from freaking out to acknowledge the pet name. Blitzy? His wings twitched. He quickly distracted himself and looked upon the glorified tree house. “I thought we were going to see Twiloot Snorkel.”

“We are. She lives in a library.”

“Why?” Evidently his limited understanding of the known world extended to the places ponies normally live.

“I dunno,” Dash shrugged with her wings and tapped her hoof on the door. “She likes to read.”

Inside the door, a bandaged dragon poked at the lock with a six foot pole. He was in no mood to be knocked out again. Finally, the lock turned and the dragon quickly back-peddled away. “Come in!”

Rainbow Dash peeked inside and opened the door. “Hey Spike. Is Twilight around?”

Spike wiped his brow and lowered his pike, having escaped the grasp of the all-smashing door. “Hey. Yeah, hold on a sec. Twilight! Rainbow Dash is here!”

The library was significantly cleaner than before. The floor was only obscured by a few layers of Equestria’s finest literature. Twilight trotted over. “Hello Rainbow. What can I do for you?”

“Well, Rarity asked me to return some book…” Rainbow Dash brushed her hoof across the floor.

“Oh? How did it go? Did she finish her dress?” Dash smiled awkwardly and stepped inside. Another Pegasus walked in behind her, and carelessly dropped the textbook on the floor. Twilight cocked her head to the side. She was sure she’d met or at least seen everypony in Ponyville by now. “Um, hello. Can I help you?” She said.

Rainbow Blitz smirked at the purple unicorn. What better way to avoid feeling awkward than to act obnoxious?

“You must be Twiloot. I’m Rainbow Blitz.” He held out a hoof.

‘Twiloot’ simply stood there watching him. Rainbow Blitz? That sounds an awful lot like- She shot a look at Dash behind her. Blitz shrugged and walked in to inspect the room.

“It’s pretty messy in here. You clean it often?” He flew up to get a better view of the room.

Spike, far less perplexed than his pony roommate, was first to speak. “Uh, who is that?” he whispered to the familiar Pegasus in the room.

Dash glanced at her clone and back at Twilight, whose gaze was now locked on the Pegasus that hovered in her home. “About that… ya see… Rarity might have sort of cloned me.”

Twilight still didn’t move. It really shouldn’t have been so hard for her to handle. She lived in the same town as Pinkie Pie, after all.

She shook her head to regain her senses. “What! How? Is that what she used the book for? Why did she want to clone you?”

“How should I know? I crashed into her window and then found him in a box.”

“Why would you crash through Rarity’s window?”

“You think I crash on purpose? My wing gave out on me.”

"Well what if he's a changeling?!"

"Didn't we fend off, like, hundreds of those?"

The mares continued their exchange in raspy murmurs that were still clearly audible throughout the room. Blitz, meanwhile, grew tired of being left out of the conversation. He flew down between Dash and Twilight to put his two bits in the discussion that was clearly about him. He pressed his head indignantly against Twilight’s.

“Hey, I’m not a mute. If you’ve got something to say to me you can-“ He stopped. His eyes grew wide as he took in the sight of the library and the startled unicorn in front of him. Details jumped out at him and information seemed to flow into him. It was almost as if...

"Hey Blitz, you okay?"

...he’d done this before.

His vision went blurry and faded to a darker version of the library. Emotions hit him like a wave. Anger, urgency, and fear all clouded his mind. He was in another world before his head hit the floor.

…

Author's Note

Why "Graphs" you say? Why not some pun about finding oneself or some sneaky addition of the number '63'? Well, first of all, I'm not clever enough to think of a good name. Second, if I named it "My Little Pony Rule 63 Shipping Fan Fiction" on my computer, I would have a lot of explaining to do. The name just feels right.

Jeez, This is Awkward

"Awesome is an issue of dash over rainbow. If you don't dash, it doesn't rainbow."

Graphs

***

Dash awoke to the sound of rustling downstairs. Her eyes fell over the dark room, searching for any possible reason to be awake (and a blunt object to strike it with). In the unaware stupor of half-sleep, she stumbled out of bed to run a brush through her hair once right before shaking it back to its original unkempt look. She braced herself for the unforgiving first light of the day and opened her curtains…

Nothing. Luna’s moon still hung defiantly in the sky, as if to say, “’tis still nighttime, art thou infuriated?” Dash mumbled curses under her breath and made to get back into bed until the rustling grew louder. She drifted through her doorway and to the stairs where she surveyed the rest of the house.

One of her storage boxes had been opened and its contents were strewn about the floor. In the dim light, and through virtually closed eyes, she couldn’t quite make out what they were. Sprouting from the box were a pony’s back legs. Blitz muttered something giddily under his breath and emerged from the box with something in his hooves.

Officially perplexed, Dash flicked on the lights to her living room and descended the staircase, yawning. “Blitz, it’s late. What are you doing up?”

His head shot back to her and nodded enthusiastically as a greeting. “I had a dream!”

“Uh-huh” she said, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “What about?”

“I had a dream. I was flying. Racing, yeah. Then, these other Pegasi came from behind me. Wearing blue suits. Yeah. Blue suits. I wondered who they were…” Blitz sounded a tad hysterical and nodded his head with each statement.

Dash shifted her gaze to the opened box he stood over and recognized a familiar stamp on the side. She chuckled and shook her head, approaching her clone. “You remembered them?”

“All of them” Blitz confirmed. His smile wavered. He must have grown tired of his recollection induced high. “You’re a fan of them, I’m guessing?”

“You could say that.” Dash looked back on her childhood. She had been quite young when she learned of the Wonderbolts. They had somewhat defined her goals in life up to the present day.

And now, all that fandom had been force fed to the poor colt in one sitting.

She put a hoof on his shoulder to support herself and pushed the Wonderbolt plushie out of his hooves. “Come on. You can look through all that stuff in the morning.”

“Yeah” he responded and shook himself out of his fan trance. “Just one thing. I checked your mail too. Don’t ask why. I don’t know.” (Was that a lampshade? No? Ok.) He moved to the table and took up a paper in his mouth. “Wook a’ dish’.”

The paper showed a white unicorn with purple glasses grinning wildly. Dash squinted at the message below. It read:

Attention Aspiring Flyers of Equestria!

Please join us Saturday night at the cloudiseum for Ms. Vinyl Scratch’s Team Laser Lightshow-down! Equestria’s most talented Pegasus ponies will dazzle you with their weather magic! Participants will compete in the greatest lightshow ever to win the title of “Most Awesome Young Flyer”. Let’s face it, that last competition was a joke. It was in the day time. I mean, come on. Who wants to party in the day time? Don’t even get me started on the music. Join me and the lovely Miss. Octavia for a show that will rock this boring land to its core! Also, our special guests, Spitfire and Soarin of the Wonderbolts, will be putting on a show of their own! I know, right!

Anyway, applications can be picked up at 584 Strum St., Canterlot, Equestria. Sign ups are for teams of two. Don’t miss your chance to wow the crowd!

It then proceeded into a warning about epilepsy. Dash almost found herself shaking with the same excitement her clone found himself afflicted with a few moments ago.

The Wonderbolts will be there! Oh my gosh! She managed to choke out a response. “Sounds fun!”

Blitz placed the flyer back on the table. “I know! And we could totally win!”

Dash froze. “Win? You mean, compete?”

“Yes!”

Dash stammered. She must have been lacking the adrenaline her counterpart had acquired over the night. “B-but it’s in just four days!”

“Three” Blitz corrected. “It’s past midnight. Anyway, we could do this! You already won that other competition- I remembered that one too- and you saw what we did in the sky earlier. We weren’t even trying to put on a show then!”

The part of Dash that was having second thoughts was politely clubbed over the head by confident Dash. They never found the body.

“You’re right! We can do this!” Confident Dash, however, was still tired. “Except, maybe we can do it in the morning.”

Blitz responded with a yawn. “Yeah, sure. Sorry for waking you and all. Goodnight again.” He started to climb back onto his couch but Dash grabbed him and started to drag him through the air up the stairs.

“Oh no. You’re coming with me. I can’t have you waking up and rummaging through my stuff again. I’ve got to keep an eye on you.” Her words carried facetiousness that was poorly disguised as something austere.

Blitz flapped his wings to take up his own weight and moved to her side. “I couldn’t help it!”

“Whatever. Just try to get some rest. Apparently, we have a few long days ahead of us.”

They arrived in Dash’s room. She flicked off the lights in the living room and the house was dark again. She took up her spot on the bed, replacing the blankets. She appeared to be comfortable and asleep instantly. Blitz hovered to the other side of the bed, suddenly aware again of just who he was joining in it. He left plenty of room between them and faced away from her to hide his nervous face. Sure enough, Dash had been doing the same.

They murmured a simultaneous “goodnight” and tried their best to fall to sleep.

…

The warm was trying to get away.

Light shined through the open curtains of Dash’s bedroom and a low quality rock and roll song blared through Dash’s ears. She fought to remain at least somewhat asleep against the static her alarm clock was bleating out. This was a routine of hers whenever she slept at home. The relative warmth of the bed tried to keep her in it while her ears begged her to turn off that damned alarm.

Today, the warmth was winning. Now, cloud blankets are made of water vapor. They are light, fluffy, and the most comfortable material known to ponies (I hear griffon down is better, but you’d have to find a griffon willing to let you shave it). However, it should come as no surprise that they can make a pony a bit damp after a while. And damp meant cold. Today, it wasn’t cold. Today, Dash had the warm.

But the warm was getting away!

Dash had kept her legs draped weakly around the warm since she had become aware that morning. It was quite a treat to not wake up shivering. But, as it moved away, Dash could feel the cold sneaking up on her back. She would be having none of that.

“No!” she chirped stubbornly as she tightened her hold on the warm and pulled it back to her. It complied without much of a resistance and turned to face her. Then, it wrapped itself around her, engulfing her and sending the cold back to its little box in the corner.

Dash nearly purred. She nuzzled the warm as a reward. It felt fuzzy. Well, of course it felt fuzzy! Warmth was always fuzzy! It’s simple logic.

The radio proceeded into commercials. It began to politely offer medication to ponies suffering from depression (How anypony could be depressed in Ponyville, I’ll never know. It was probably an unsuccessful business, given the location.). Dash had to draw the line there. She turned her back to the warm, which continued to hold her tightly, and flailed out a foreleg toward the most annoying alarm clock radio in Equestria.

Her hoof met the plushness of her cloud mattress. She continued to flop her hoof around on the cloud three more times before realizing that her mattress was not her radio. Her eyes flickered open and she saw her night table quite a ways away from her hoof.

“Stupid alarm…” she mumbled as she turned to ask the warm to let go so she could silence the repetitive voice repeating “Horn on, apply directly to the horn”.

A wall of blue obscured her vision. Sky blue. The color of her coat. She followed the wall to the head of Rainbow Blitz, who still smiled in blissful sleep.

(Holy buck, guys! Blitz was the warm!)

Holy buck! Blitz is the warm! is what Dash’s mind said. However, muffled through Blitz’s neck, all that came out of her mouth was, “Mph ffmuphmm!”

The colt stirred and opened his eyes. He blinked at the Pegasus staring wide-eyed back at him for a moment. And then he noticed she was in his forelegs.

His mouth went dry, which, when coupled with his morning thirst, was quite uncomfortable. He double checked that they were, in fact, his extremities and that it was, in fact, Rainbow Dash in them. Both were true. However, Blitz didn’t quite know how to react. It didn’t help that part of his mind was busy commenting on his situation.

“Don’t like her” my mental flank. You get choked up from seeing her.

Shut up, self. How do I deal with this?

I think you’re doing just fine. You got her into bed, didn't you? Isn't she cute when she stares like that?

Dude! This is really awkward! She’s freaking out!

And so are you. But you have me to help you see out from that thick skull of yours. Try talking. You seem like a stallion that can run his mouth.

You’re an ass.

Thought Blitz to himself.

Ugh!

Blitz soon saw it fit to say something. He croaked a “Good morning” and started to shuffle out of the bed. Dash did the same and finally shut off the radio in the middle of some political talk show. Evidently, the Mayor would be elected for another term.

Unfortunately, no annoying radio meant no sound at all. Rack up another awkward silence for the Rainbow household.

After making the decision to ignore how she woke up, Dash walked slowly out the door into the hallway. “Well, I’m gonna go take a shower. You can go downstairs and get some breakfast. There should be something down there. Maybe. I really don’t know. Make sure the food’s not actually mold before you eat it.”

“Will do,” he replied and parted ways with her in the hall. Blitz made his way to Dash’s kitchen, avoiding some of the clutter he had made the previous night in the living room.

Through the arches, he found a small and quite messy excuse for a kitchen. A counter of smoothed out cloud stretched across the walls, with cabinets scattered below it. One piece protruded about a meter into the middle of the room, with chairs on each side. On it laid piles of papers and wrappers of unknown origin. Where the counter ended there was a tall grey cloud embedded in the wall, a fridge. A quick look through it yielded some milk that was probably not bad. Next, Blitz decided to try a little memory.

She’s got to have some knowledge of where stuff is. Maybe if I focus…

He tried to visualize a bowl and a box of cereal. Perhaps he hoped the correct cabinet would light up for him. Instead, he succeeded in listening intently to the sound of running water upstairs.

Suddenly, the bowl and cereal became a steam filled shower. He envisioned water falling unevenly off somepony’s multi-colored mane while she whipped it through the air. Droplets of the warm water splashed onto his face. Soap bubbles ran down her flanks. She turned to him and winked.

Why don’t you go join her?

Blitz felt his wings twitch. He would not even dignify the voice in his head with a response (Because that would be weird). He went about searching for sustenance without any more deep thought.

Back upstairs, Dash was wrapping up her shower while trying to map out the next few days.

We’re going to have to get a routine down for the show. Will chief let us have our personal days after what happened yesterday?

She stepped through the curtains and proceeded to shake her head at an unhealthy speed. Risks of whiplash aside, it was a good way to shake the water from your mane. The water spattered on the walls and mirror, leaving her mane dry and just the right amount of untidy.

And what happened this morning? How did we end up…cuddling…again…

A rush of cold, high-altitude air from the hallway hit her as soon as she opened the door. She had only dried her mane. She shivered down to the stairs.

I bet he wouldn’t mind warming you up, said her cheeky inner monologue.

Dash closed her eyes and imagined her self being pressed against a wall. Her breath became heavy. Something brushed past her ear, then her cheek, and then it separated for a moment, breathing hot air onto her neck. It lingered there right before latching onto her skin.

She let out a gasp and shook her head again. She found it hard twist her face into something appalled. With shivers of a different kind, she returned to the bathroom to shake the rest of her hair dry.

After doing away with distractions, Dash made her way to the kitchen. She found Blitz sitting at the counter with a bowl of Cherileeo’s (With cherry shaped marshmallows!). He greeted her and held out the box.

“Want shum?” he asked through a full mouth. A bowl and a spoon were set out opposite to him.

“Sure.” She snatched the box and took a seat, starting to pour the oat rings into her bowl.

As they ate, Dash fished through a pile of papers on the counter and produced a calendar. Blitz peered over, tilting his head to read with her.

“Looks like we’ve got partly cloudy through Monday,” Dash said.

“Cool. We just set them up today and then we’ve got a clear schedule to set up a show, right?”

“Mhm. Anyway, the shower’s all yours when you’re done. Then we can get to work.”

Blitz tilted his bowl towards his mouth and gulped down the rest of its contents. “Alright. I’ll be back in a bit.” Then he flew off to bathe for the first time in his life.

…

Fluttershy hovered low in her cottage, struggling with a large bag of bird seed in her forelegs. She made her way to each box hanging off of her walls and ceiling, methodically pouring each of her feathery little friends their recommended portion in their bowls. As anyone with hooves would think, a heavy bag of seeds is difficult to control mid-air, especially if you are not a strong flyer. Upon filling her third bowl, the yellow Pegasus’s hooves slipped and the bag tumbled to the floor with a small puddle of seeds forming around its opening.

“Oh,” she said after a weary sigh. “Sorry guys. I’ll just be a moment.” Then she left the room.

The remaining unfed birds had lived with Fluttershy long enough to learn manners and to appreciate what she did for them. They had no trouble returning to doing bird stuff while their caretaker retrieved a dustpan.

She returned and lifted the bag up to rest against a table. “Sometimes, I wish I had a little help with all this…” She scooped up some of the fallen seeds and poured them carefully back into the bag. She then felt a tug on her tail.

The Pegasus turned to see her old friend Angel standing at attention with a carrot held at his side like a rifle. He wore a green helmet that must have belonged to toy soldier at one point. Despite his attitude, Angel, too, appreciated Fluttershy’s work. And he wasn’t about to put up with another Iron Will fiasco either.

With a salute, the bunny proceeded to attack the task that had caused his friend trouble. He pushed up against the bag and managed to get one side of it a hair’s width off the ground. Angel was about as strong as one would expect a little white rabbit to be. A yellow hoof managed to grab him before he gave himself a hernia.

“Thank you, Angel, but that’s too heavy for you. I was thinking maybe another pony. Someone a bit like me, maybe…” she trailed off in thought.

Angel took on his look of disapproval and released it on Fluttershy. He had heard the story the previous night and had taken Twilight’s side.

Fluttershy, he said with his paws and twitching whiskers. I know you think finding- or making- somepony to be with would make you happy. But you can’t just go cloning yourself just because Rainbow Dash seems to be doing well so far.

The mare bowed her head. Angel’s argument must have been working.

I’m sure you’ll find somepony. But, this just isn’t how to go about it. Can you imagine if everypony just cloned themselves to have a relationship? Biodiversity would plummet, population would shoot up, things would just go wrong. An animal expert like you would know things like this. Now, I don’t want you trying to pressure Twilight. Ok? It sounds like she’s against it and she probably knows best when it comes to this type of thing.

“I know,” said Fluttershy with uncanny recognition of the rabbit’s words. “I know you want to help but that bag is just too big for you. Now, go finish your breakfast so you can grow up big and strong.”

Angel gave his forehead a concussive smack and shook his head. Sometimes, being a rabbit just sucked. Nevertheless, wagging his whiskers at her a little more would do no good and his charade skills were probably not good enough to get this particular message across.

I need some coffee, he thought as he hopped toward the kitchen. Meanwhile, Fluttershy finished her clean up and managed to feed the rest of her birds without incident. She started to gather supplies for another bout of caretaking when she heard a rapping on her cottage door. She opened it a crack and found Rainbow Dash with Tank hovering above her.

“Good morning, Rainbow,” she said, letting them in.

“Good morning,” Dash replied. Tank flew in after her up to Fluttershy, who gave him an affectionate nuzzle.

“Hello tank. We’ve missed you around here. Is Rainbow treating you ok?”

As a response, he came to a landing at Dash’s hooves and retracted his propeller. Dash patted his shell. “Yeah, we’re doing fine. I actually have some plans to get this guy some wings and an engine. He’ll be the fastest tortoise alive!”

Fluttershy tried to smile but her motherly instincts were telling her this plan would go wrong in every way possible. She managed a nervous giggle and hoped her friend was joking.

“Anyway, I was wondering if you could keep an eye on him for a few days. Blitz and I are going to the mountains to train.”

Fluttershy jumped at the chance to take Tank away from the well-meaning bad influence that was his owner. She swept him up into the air and hugged his shell. “Of course I’ll watch him! I’ll get his bed set up. Did he have breakfast? I can have Angel make you a nice salad.” She continued her obsessive swooning over the tortoise for a moment before remembering Dash standing in the room.

“Oh, um, what are you and Blitz training for?”

Dash told her about the competition and their schedule for the next three days.

“Wow, that sounds fun. So you’re going around the mountains to practice?” Over the course of Dash’s story, Tank made it about half way across the room.

“Yeah. We need somewhere secluded to practice without anypony seeing anything before the show.” Dash took about four steps over to her pet and rubbed his head. “Isn’t that right, Tank?”

“That sounds nice. You two alone in the Canterlot Valley with the birds chirping and the clouds drifting by with the gentle wind…” She trailed off with her eyes glazed over.

“I mean, I guess it could be like that. We are going to be working, though.”

“Mhm.” Fluttershy may or may not have heard her. “How is Blitz? Did you find room for him? I know you only have one bedroom.”

“Oh, yeah. He’s fine. He just… slept on the couch.” Dash rubbed her neck. Then in the bed right next to me. I could smell him. He was soft. Had she said that out loud, her voice might have cracked more than it already did on a regular basis.

Fluttershy saw something on her mind (It looked sticky). “Um, are you-“

“ANYWAY,” she interrupted, well above her inside voice. “I should be going. Take care of Tank.” She made her way to the door.

Fluttershy followed her halfway out. “Do you want me to tell the others?” Dash was already high above the surrounding canopy.

“Nah,” she called back. “We’ve got it covered.”

…

Blitz regretted having it covered.

It should have been simple. Just go to four ponies he already knew (sort of) and tell them about the show. Nothing big at all.

He visited the Earth ponies first. Applejack’s house was easy to find from his own memory along with Dash’s. He expected as much. What he didn’t expect was being cast off with about a lifetime supply of apple-based food.

“We can find stuff there!” he told them as they stuffed packages into one end of his saddlebags.

Granny Smith responded with a snort. “Nonsense! You’re thin as a tree branch. You need some vittles to get some meat on those bones while you’re out there. I can let one o’ my granddaughter’s friends go around lookin’ all sickly.”

Applejack chuckled. She was a bit less enthusiastic about the Pegasus’s need for “vittles” but she learned not to contradict her Granny Smith from an early age. “Besides, sugarcube, ain’t you and Dash gonna be workin’ up an appetite out there?” She winked.

Blitz eyed her suspiciously. “I guess. We are going to be flying a lot and…” Recognition flashed on his face right before a blush. Applejack got a nice chuckle from that. “I told you we’re not like that!”

“Ah didn’t say nothin’, Blitzy.” Blitz let out a growl, which was much funnier than it was scary. “Well go on, now. You’ve got a few more stops, right?”

He turned and stormed out of the room, mumbling something about stupid, suggestive mares. Applejack watched him from the door with a grin. As he took off, however, longing showed in her eyes. With a sigh, she shut the door and went off to another day’s work in the fields.

Blitz’s visit to Sugarcube corner yielded as much food as his last with a distinct lack of innuendo. Blitz introduced himself to the Cakes, who were surprised to find that he already knew them. Blitz made a mental note to try and separate Dash’s experience from his own. With evenly stuffed saddlebags and a bone crushing goodbye-hug from Pinkie, he was off to see the unicorns.

Carrousel Boutique seemed to be a far cry from “destroyed” on the outside. There was a single broken window on the second floor and a stone gray Pegasus repair pony appeared to be taking measurements to replace it. Blitz landed heavily in front of the door, which appeared to serve as a knock.

Before he could bring his hoof to the door, Rarity burst out into her front yard.

“What was that! Did you break something!? I’ll be having a word with your manager if anything on my shop is out of place!” She looked frantically around her walls before noticing nothing had changed but the colt staring with a cocked eyebrow at her front door. The repair pony glanced at her, grunted, and went back to his work.

Blitz coughed. “Um, that was me.”

Rarity’s eyes narrowed for a moment. Then, she reverted right back to her cheery and excessively proper self. “So it was. Please come in, Blitz. Twilight and I were just talking about you.” She trotted back inside.

That can’t be good, he thought. That can’t be good at all. He followed her in.

They walked through the thoroughly organized displays of clothing on idealistic mannequins. Most were dresses of all shapes and styles with a few suits scattered about the room. Rarity saw him observing the clothes and smiled.

“They’re marvelous, aren’t they? The ponies in this town simply don’t know what they are taking for granted!” Rarity’s smile became fierce for a moment. Blitz fell another step behind her. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten about your clothes. Or lack thereof. I already have a few designs laid out that would be perfect for a stallion such as you. I’m sure of it!”

Blitz’s face became a faint grimace. “Oh. I don’t want you to go to any trouble. I wouldn’t even be able to pay you.”

“Pay, dear? What nonsense! It’s no trouble at all. Anyway, I’ve been in need of some publicity lately. With a stallion like yourself showing my garments off it would pay for itself.” They reached a staircase and started upward. “Twilight? Make yourself decent, please. We have a guest.”

A somewhat strained voice came from above them. “Rarity, we spend most of our time naked anyway. Why would I care if somepony saw me in this?”

Rarity giggled. “Oh Twilight. I wasn’t aware you were so comfortable with dressing in front of stallions.” They reached the top and Blitz stopped.

“Um, I can wait here if you want. I actually just needed to tell you two-“

“Is that Rainbow Blitz?” came Twilight’s voice from the doorway. “Bring him up here! I need to examine him.”

Blitz did not feel entirely comfortable with a supposedly scantily clad mare “examining” him (Well, that mare anyway). However, he found himself being magically nudged up the last few steps by Rarity. “Really! I don’t even have to come in! Dash and I are just going to be in an air show and I was supposed to tell you we’ll be away training in some mountains near Canterlot for the next few days.”

Rarity whistled beside him. “One day together and you’re already off on a romantic getaway? My, my, you work as fast as you fly.” He looked quite dignified blushing and frowning with his eyes squeezed shut while the telekinesis dragged him across the floor.

He heard Twilight sigh. “Relax, Blitz. It’s just a saddle.”

(Just a saddle. One does not normally use the word “just” when trying to convince another that they are properly clothed. But the obtrusive author digresses)

Opening his eyes revealed the room of his birth. It looked exactly the same aside from the lack of a few boxes on the ground. Twilight stood on a step before an array of mirrors in a white saddle. It was a few sizes too tight and was probably putting some unnecessary strain on the unicorn’s rib cage. Rarity must have been one of those "suffer to be beautiful" kind of ponies.

She hopped down from her perch over to the others. She levitated a quill and paper over from a purple saddlebag on a table and started to circle Blitz slowly. “Your hair seems to grow the same way as Rainbow’s- Oh, well I guess I can’t call her that anymore- the same way as Dash’s.”

“Really?” Blitz muttered sarcastically. “I hadn’t noticed. It’s not like I’m her clone or anything.”

Twilight ignored the remarks and scribbled notes on her paper. She came around behind him and looked at his tail. She frowned and said, “Why is your tail all zig-zaggy like that? Dash’s isn’t.”

Blitz sighed. “I don’t know. I was literally born yesterday. Probably in one of those boxes over there, actually.”

“Maybe you’ve got some kind of special oils to cause stiffness at certain intervals.” Twilight tapped her chin and magically yanked out one of his hairs. Blitz jumped forward with a yelp.

He shot her a withering glance. “Are we done here? Or do you want to shave me as well?”

Rarity laughed. “Oh yes. Go, run along to your date. Don’t let us keep you waiting. It was nice seeing you again.”

“It’s not a- forget it. Whatever. See ya.” He left without another word.

Twilight shook her head and started unbuckling her saddle. “I don’t think he likes it when you talk about him and Dash like that. “

“It’s not like I’ll have any effect. Celestia knows what they’ll end up doing out training. Alone. With Nothing but the clouds and a little exercise to distract them from more interesting activities.”

Twilight cringed. “You know, you act very sophisticated but you say the dirtiest things!”

Rarity scooped up the saddle and attached it to a mannequin. “It’s not dirty! It’s romantic.”

“It’s weird is what it is,” the lavender unicorn mumbled.

Rarity’s expression fell. “Twilight…”

“Well it is! What if they- or they end up- they could- UGH!” She grunted started pacing around.

“What will happen? Tell me. Why are you so against this?

“Something will happen. It’s just so weird. It doesn’t seem right. I don’t want to get involved in this.” She turned away and started towards the stairs.

Rarity watched her lowered head, almost ready to give up. Then the white unicorn blinked. “This isn’t about clones at all.”

Twilight stopped and eyed her suspiciously. “What?”

Rarity put on her triumphant realization face. “No no no. You’re fine with the cloning part. It’s what happens afterwards that has you all nervous.”

Twilight rubbed her forehead. “Please, keep being cryptic. I obviously understand.”

“You’re shy.”

“What do you mean by that? I think I’ve done well by way of making friends since I came here.”

“Sure you have, but how many of those friends are stallions?”

That one hit a nerve. Twilight backed up a step and stammered, “Plenty!”

Rarity seemed unconvinced. “You‘re afraid of meeting stallions.”

“I am not!”

“Yes, yes you are. Don’t give me that look. I saw how you acted when that purple haired fellow came and stood next to you at Applejack’s ceremony. You’re lucky it was hot out and everypony was sweating anyway.”

“I wasn’t sweating!” True or not, she sure was sweating now.

“I can’t really blame you,” Rarity continued. “He was a cute one. Although, his voice could get on one’s nerves after a while.”

Twilight attempted to gather a witty retort to dismiss the accusations.

Perhaps one about reading too many trashy romance novels would do. She thought. No, that would be mean. I could tell her I have somepony in Canterlot. Oh, I can’t lie to her. Come on, Twilight! Think!

Her darting eyes did nothing to reinforce her credibility. Rarity’s knowing smile tore deeper into her thoughts.

Rarity soon had her fill of her mind games. She walked over to Twilight and led her to her self-pity couch. She looked like she could use some self-pity.

“Darling, tell me what’s got you so averse to this kind of thing. Did something happen to you in the past?”

“No!” Twilight’s eyes still wouldn’t meet hers. “I just don’t have any time for a relationship right now.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you use that same argument in Canterlot when you weren’t making any friends?”

Twilight sighed and sagged on her haunches. “That was different. I really was preoccupied with studying. With this…I just feel so nervous. I don’t want to get into any complicated relationship stuff right now. And if that is the likely outcome of this cloning business, I don’t want to have any part in it. Besides, it’s still weird. Something will go wrong. I can feel it.”

Rarity’s ears fell. It seems Twilight had some resolve left over after that emotional discussion. “You don’t think it would be the least bit interesting? To get to talk to yourself?”

Twilight shook her head. “No. I’m sorry, but I have to be a good friend and not do this for you.”

Rarity took up her spot on the couch as Twilight got off. “I suppose I shouldn’t push you if you’ve truly made up your mind…”

“I have.” She hooked her saddlebags onto her back and stepped towards the doorway. “I hope this doesn’t come between us.”

Rarity smiled faintly. “Of course not, dear.”

Twilight smiled back. “Thanks. See you later.” Exit Twilight Sparkle.

It would have been dramatic of Rarity to stare out at the clouds in disappointment, but the surly Pegasus fixing the window sort of messed with the mood.

…

Strum Street was quite a ways away from Ponyville. The stuffed bags on Blitz’s back didn’t make it seem like any less of a trek.

Suck it up, he told himself. It’s exercise.

He figured the writer of the flyer sounded a bit too cool to live in one of the big, snobby mansions that were found so close to the Princesses’ castle. He flew until the houses shrank to a modest one or two floors before noticing a decent sized empty circle in the moving crowd.

In its center was Pegasus with broad brown wings and a particularly long tail. It probably would have been easier to just ask the one closest to him, but no one ever accused Rainbow Dash’s mind of excessive thought. He pushed his way into the circle and tapped the shoulder of the pony in its center. “Uh, hey. Do you know where I can find Strum Street?”
The pony turned to reveal a small yellow beak on its white head. Feathers hung over her face with purple highlights on the ends with lining of the same color around her eyes. Further examination exposed two clawed forelegs that did not match the paws in the back. Blitz, along with many other ponies had never met such a creature.

That being said, he recognized her immediately.

“Oh, hey Gilda.” He held up a hoof for one of the greeting rituals going through his head along with an entire childhood friendship. He saw vague images of sharing mischievous antics with the griffon before him. To his joy, they were accompanied not by a fainting fit, but by a mild throbbing behind his eyes.

Gilda appeared disturbed by seeing him. She raised an eyebrow and backed away a step. “Do I know you?” she said with suspicion.

Blitz tilted his head. “Of course you know me. I’m Rainbow Bl-“ he stopped as his taunting voice whispered in his ear.

No she doesn’t, dumbass.

Crap. This is going to be really awkward. Blitz let out an uncomfortable laugh and moved his hoof to the back of his head. “I mean-uh- I’m a friend of Rainbow Dash’s.” Gilda’s face tightened in anger as he spoke the name, then just as quickly softened with sadness.

“Oh,” she mumbled, failing to completely maintain her level voice.

“Yeah,” Blitz continued. “She’s told me all about how cool you are and stuff. So I figured the cool looking griffon on the street was probably you.”

Surprise, thy name is Gilda. “Wait- she said what?”

Dammit! I was sure that would work. Change the subject!

“So,” he said, ignoring the inquiry, “how have you been? Have you been to Ponyville recently?”

“No,” she mumbled and stalked closer to him. “What did Dash say?”

Blitz fought to maintain the calm and confident look. That was important when being threatened and there was no doubt the Griffon was the predator in this situation. Meanwhile he played the perfect part of the prey by backing slowly toward a nearby alley. (Okay, maybe not the “perfect” prey. That was a pretty dumb move. But whatever).

“N-nothing. Anyway, do you know where Strum Street is?”

“I asked you a question,” growled Gilda. The possible witnesses got further and further away (Never mind what I said about being good prey. He kind of sucked).

My, what big claws you have. Say that. It’ll be hilarious, said the voice.

Buck no! replied Blitz. He had to admit, though. She did have some pretty big claws. They glinted in the shadows of the alley.

Somewhere along the line, Blitz’s eyes snapped shut and he stumbled over a trash can. When it finished falling noisily to the ground, he decided that Gilda was most likely directly over him and about to rip into him with those talons. Survival instincts overtook image and Blitz decided to face the beast before him.

“For Luna’s love! Don’t kill me!”

Blitz trembled on the ground holding his hooves over his all too vulnerable neck. After a few moments of his life flashing before his eyes (Or Dash’s life, whatever) he found his organs strangely in tact. He chanced opening his even more delicate eyes in time to see Gilda inhale deeply and mouth the digits one to ten. After her count, she exhaled and focused her gaze back upon Blitz. She seemed…

…sorry?

“I did it again. I did it again!” Gilda smacked her head a few times. “Sorry dude. I’ve been a little angry lately. I’m trying to work on it, but you mentioned Dash and I just…ugh.” She picked Blitz up off the ground. “You alright?”

“Uh huh,” he rasped. “Just fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” The response came out a bit more bitter than he wanted.

Gilda winced at his tone. “What was it you were looking for?”

Blitz picked up his saddlebag that had evidently fallen at some point. He considered just walking away and leaving her there to think about what she’d done. He would never have to hear from her again…

She endured his cold shoulder for a minute, and then turned towards the street.

…However, the idea of simply leaving a friend (or friend of a friend, whatever) alone didn’t sit well with him. He actually almost gagged on it.

“Wait.” He trotted after her. “Hold on. You don’t have to-“

“No, it’s fine. I need to get over this. You don’t want to spend any more time with me than you have to, believe me. No one does.”

“Well you can’t just walk off.”

“What?”

“Not without showing me how the hay you get around with these Canterlot jerks showing me their chins. You owe me.” He flashed a grin. “I need to get to Strum Street.”

That cheered her up. Not too much, mind you. She just wasn’t all sad and emo in her makeup anymore.

“Deal. I was just coming from there anyway.” They returned to the light, the street, and the witnesses.

“Oh? Were you signing up for the show too?”

“Nah. Team flying isn’t really my thing.” (I can’t imagine why) “I was getting tickets, though. The Wonderbolts are gonna be there!”

“I know! It’s gonna be awesome!”

They shared a moment of daydreaming over their idols. Then Gilda turned to him.

“Hey. I never caught your name.”

“Heh, yeah. That happens when I fear for my life. I’m Rainbow Blitz.”

She blinked at him and frowned in thought. “And you’re a friend of Rainbow Dash.” Then she glanced over at his flank. “Are you two-uh- related at all? I never really asked her about her family before.”

“I-I-“ Blitz fumbled for the answer. He never really did get any details on clones. All he really got from Twilight was a reassertion that he was, in fact, a clone of Rainbow Dash.

I'm not supposed to tell anyone, though.

“I don’t think so?”

Gilda pursed her beak (Can beaks be pursed?) “It’s just that you look a lot like her.”

“Oh… I don’t see it…” Blitz glanced around the cobblestone street.

“And you have the same cutie-mark.”

“You think so?” He tried to remain calm about it. “You don’t think hers is a bit different?”

“Well, it’s a lightning bolt with three colors.”

“Which colors?”

“I forget, but I’m pretty sure it’s the same.”

“I’m positive her ass doesn’t look like mine.”

“Oh, and you’ve gotten a good look?” she said with a wry look.

“Well ye- I mean no, never- but I-“ Blitz stammered.

Gilda snickered. “Relax, dude. I’m kidding. And I guess it does look a little different. It must be the light.”

“Yeah,” breathed Blitz. “The light.”

…

“Sign here. And here. Aaaand here.”

“Mmph.” Dash let out a frustrated sigh through her quill.

An eyebrow arced above the almost opaque glasses of the white unicorn behind the counter. She laughed and pushed the paperwork aside. “Alright, let’s take a break from the boring part.”

Dash spat out the quill. “There’s a fun part to this?”

Vinyl lifted her trademark shades for an oblique glance towards Dash (For some reason, she couldn’t tell what color the eyes were). Vinyl moved away from the counter and gestured for her to follow. They made their way down aisles of music memorabilia to the wall of the store. An array of monitors and speakers were set up along a long shelf. Vinyl beckoned Dash over to one and thrust a pair of headphones onto Dash’s head.

“What’s this for?” Dash asked. Her voice resonated in her head.

“Well you didn’t think you were going out to perform without music, did you? That would be lame.” The unicorn’s voice sounded muffled, but intelligible.

“We’ve got all the good music in these computers. You can search our library by name, artist, genre, all that stuff.” She magically manipulated a device on the table to demonstrate how to go about searching for “all that stuff”. The extensive list of Canterlot’s greatest hits flew by on the screen. “And just click on one to listen to it. Call me when you’ve got one, I’ll hook you up, and we’ll be all set. Groovy?”

“Groovy,” Dash agreed and then set about her work.

Turned out that Vinyl Scratch knew what she was doing when it came to amassing music. The counter at the bottom that tallied the aggregate length of the songs was numbered in upwards of 300 days. Seeing that the event was in significantly less time than 300 days, Dash opted for the “random” button and hoped for the best.

First of all, Vinyl must have had the ears of gods, because the sound that boomed out of the headphones was still clearly audible after Dash threw them off of herself in shock. She quickly found the volume bar and slid it over to the speaker with fewer waves coming out of it.

Now able to listen without destroying her ears, she found that the song had been some sort of classical music.

I just got blown away by some stuck up symphony… she thought.

She decided to never share that little incident and move on to something a little cooler. It’s not that she couldn’t look good flying to this “Philharmonica” pony’s orchestra. She just didn’t want to.

The next few selections were pretty good, but Dash just couldn’t imagine a crowd of ponies going crazy with them in the background. It needed to have energy. It needed to be almost as awesome as her (Settin’ the bar 20% higher).

The next song was heavy on the synthesizer and bass with a steady drum beat driving it. She grinned and shut her eyes, bobbing her head in time with the music and putting together her performance piece by piece as the song played.

Some ponies can do math in their heads, some ponies can sew up a half dead cart crash victim, and others can orchestrate an aerial feat of athleticism to go with a musical accompaniment before it’s done playing. Dash happened to belong to the third category.

She stood by the monitor for an undeterminable amount of time (Well, she could have just looked at the length of the song). She found herself so engrossed that she tried very hard to ignore the hoof poking her and the muffled voice yelling in her ear.

She sighed and removed the headphones. With a flip of her mane, she turned to the party pooper.

Blitz continued to yell as if he was still competing with a subwoofer. “Dash! Are you alive!”

Dash flicked a strand of his hair to get his attention and flashed a grin. “I’m fine, Blitzy. How about yourself?”

Blitz rolled his eyes (And straightened his wings). “I thought you were signing us up for the show.”

“We’re almost done that, but listen to this first.”

Dash then fixed the headphones on her clone’s head and restarted the song. Within moments, he was bobbing his head and nodding approvingly. He lifted them off one of his ears to speak.

“What’s this?”

“Our background music. C’mon, we’ve got to finish the paperwork.”

“Yeah, sure,” he said while removing the headphones. “But first, there’s someone that wants to talk to you.” Blitz then motioned behind him. Dash glanced in that direction and then back at him.

“Uh, did you hit your head or something?”

“Well, I did trip over a garbage can. Why? Is there another bruise?”

“No. It’s just that there’s absolutely nopony there.”

Blitz frowned and followed where he was pointing. Sure enough, there was not a pony or Griffon to be found. There was, however, a shaking brown tuft of fur on the ground behind one of the aisles. Blitz sighed and walked over to the tuft.

“What’s the problem here?” he whispered.

“I can’t. She’s probably still mad at me.” Gilda replied.

Blitz seemed confused. “Why would she be mad?”

Gilda smiled sheepishly. “Well, I did kind of insult and yell at all of her friends.”

“What!? Why?”

Dash’s voice came from behind them. “Is everything alright back there?”

Blitz groaned. “Yeah. Just a sec.” He turned back to Gilda. “Look. I’m sure she was angry with you, but I don’t think it was that big of a deal.”

Gilda frowned at him. “What makes you think that?”

“What makes who think what?” said Dash as she rounded the corner. “And who are you talking t-Gilda!?” Her eyes popped out as she saw her old friend again.

Said friend quickly picked herself up to move into a slightly more respectable stance. He chin was held high and her limbs where placed confidently on the floor, but her expression betrayed the nervousness she was feeling. “H-hey Dash. It’s, uh, been a while.”

Dash’s face grew conflicted (Perhaps leaning a bit towards “disturbed”). “Um, yeah. I guess it has.”

“How’s Ponyville?” Gilda inquired. However, it seemed a bit more like a suggestion as to how to proceed through the encounter. Meanwhile, Blitz was experiencing being on the outside of an awkward silence for the first time. He could almost see why Rarity had liked inducing them so much.

Unfortunately, he thought, I’m responsible for how this turns out.

“Fine,” Dash replied. She then regretted dismissing the subject so early without milking it for occupying the quiet atmosphere that surrounded them. Some bits of drum beats could be heard out of nearby ponies’ headphones. “How…um. Where have you been?”

“Oh, you know. All over…”

Blitz rubbed his forehead. It was pathetic. They both had such confident demeanors. But after one fight, they turned into this?

Alright, time to bail them out of this.

Blitz glanced at their faces, both of which were pointed anywhere but at each other, and extended his wings out to them. The girls were met with a light brush of feathers to the face. The following twitches and coughs cut the tension not quite as well as a knife, but desperate times, etc.

“Well,” Blitz began. “If we’re all done stalling, how about we get to what is on all of our minds. Gilda, you wanted to share something? You are…” He drew out the last word, tilting his head to indicate her queue.

“Oh! Um, yeah. I’m…” she closed her eyes and made a look comparable to that of a convict under a guillotine.

“What was that?” Blitz held up a hoof to his ear.

This earned him a prompt withering glance before Gilda returned to her epic battle against pride.

“I’m…” Blood started to rush towards the griffon’s head. A vein could be seen pulsing under her feathers. Then, she suddenly let out a deep breath and hung her head. “I’m a stupid jerk.”

Well now! Most ponies were unaccustomed to this side of the griffon, her best friend amongst them. For a moment, her ego actually shrunk below the geosynchronous point of orbit above Equestria. Dash was awestruck.

Blitz, meanwhile, shook his head. “Well, I would have said “sorry”, but whatever.” He turned to his double, who seemed to have spaced out. With a roll of his eyes, he nudged her and gestured towards Gilda with a look that said “She’s bucking sorry, what do you say back?”

She blinked. “Oh, right. It’s f-”

“No it isn’t,” Gilda interrupted. “I’m no better than those jackasses we used to make fun of in flight school.” Blitz’s eye twitched.

Jackasses. Flight school. Got it. Ow, that one hurt a little.

“Come on. You so are. Look, maybe I pushed you a little too far at the party. I should know better than to screw with you too much.” Gilda looked up at her doubtfully.

Dash smiled. “Really. It’s cool.”

Gilda smiled back and they bumped hooves/claws. “Thanks.”

“Yo Dash!” echoed Vinyl’s voice from elsewhere in the store. “You done yet?”

“Yeah yeah. We’re gonna use song #1352.”

“1352…1352…Ah! There it is. Oh, nice one. And is your partner here yet? I need them to sign stuff.”

Dash nodded her head off in the direction of the voice. “That would be you, Blitz.”

“Coming!” he said and cantered over into the aisles, leaving Dash and Gilda without their mediator.

“So…” Gilda drawled. “You two. What’s happening there?”

“What do you mean?” the Pegasus replied, still looking where Blitz had left.

“Come on. Blitzy? Really?” A more cautious griffon would have waited a bit after a conflict to begin teasing again. They probably wouldn’t have blown up at a group of ponies throwing them a party either.

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Dash shot back. “He calls me ‘Dashie’ sometimes too. It’s just something we do.”

Gilda snickered. “That’s so cheesy! Do you guys share milkshakes with two straws too?”

“It’s not like that!” Dash protested. She was looking a little redder than she would have liked.

“Are you sure?” Gilda asked. “Cause you were kind of giving him the eye back there.”

Mild horror plastered Dash’s face. “I was? Wait, how long were you there?”

“Don’t change the subject. Are you two a thing or what?” Yes, relationship teasing is immature. But it’s also fun.

“Well, he sort of lives with me, but-”

“Oh my gosh. He lives with you? I bet you snuggle too.”

Dash looked away. In hindsight, that probably was the wrong move.

“No way! You totally do! This is hilarious!”

“Shut up! It’s usually an accident anyway.” The griffon began to say something again, but Dash’s eyes told her that would not be good for her health.

Gilda made a resigning gesture. “Whatever, dude. You know I’m kidding. Besides, it’s not like he’s lame or anything. You could have done worse.”

Dash growled. “I forgot what a pain in the flank you could be.”

“It’s a gift,” Gilda said with a shrug. “Anyway, that reminds me. Could I see your cutie mark for a sec?”

…

“…and once you’re done, you can sign here, here, and here.”

“Ugh! What is with all this paperwork?” Blitz groaned before continuing to fill out his waiver.

“Hey, I don’t like it any more than you do. If it was up to me, I’d let ponies sign up at the door. But nooooo. I need to get all this stuff done so I’m not responsible for anyone getting hurt. Because it’s totally my fault if some stupid Pegasus goes and gets injured on a cloud. How would that even happen?” Vinyl shook her head. It seemed to her that life would be so much easier without all the bull.

“Yeah, yeah. I understand.” Blitz scribbled in his signature and nudged the stack of papers on Vinyl’s counter. “Are we good now?”

The white unicorn adjusted her glasses (They probably weren’t even reading glasses) and examined the paperwork. At one point she frowned and peered over them at Blitz.

“In the ‘Relationship to Partner’ area, you wrote ‘friends’?”

Blitz tilted his head. “Yeah. Why? Should I have written ‘roommate’ or something?”

“Well, you could have. But, aren’t you two, like, related?”

Blitz frowned back. “I don’t think so, no.”

Vinyl looked him over. “Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure. Why?”

She let out a relieved breath. “Well, it makes things a bit less weird. Now I have some new thoughts on your little trip you’re going on after this.”

“Uh, what?” Blitz replied with the average male “I don’t get it” face.

“Let’s just say I can hear everything everypony says in this store.”

The face remained. “But I didn’t say anything.”

Vinyl sighed, amused. “Alright, we’ll take this nice and slow for you. Are you two together?”

“Together for what?”

“Are. You. Dating.”

Well, the face was gone. In its place was Blitz’s scowl and blush as he realized where this conversation was going.

“No,” he responded with no small amount of ire.

Vinyl backed up a step. “Settle down, dude. It was just a question.”

He let out a breath, taking the edge off his glower. “Sorry. It’s just that everypony keeps saying stuff like that. And to our faces too. It’s embarrassing.”

Vinyl gave him an understanding nod. “That sucks. I’ve had a situation like that myself.”

Blitz gave a grunt of acknowledgment.

“So have you two screwed yet?”

The Pegasus appeared stunned for a moment before proceeding to attempt to shake his head off his shoulders.

“N-we-I wouldn’t-it’s not-”

“I guess that’s a no,” Vinyl chuckled. “But, I can tell you’ve thought about it.”

“You’re annoying, and unoriginal.” Blitz practically snarled.

“Oh, come on!” she exclaimed, still smiling. “Guys are normally more eager to talk about this kind of stuff.”

“Well I’m not,” Blitz huffed, tucking his wings back to his sides. They had unfurled for some reason.

Vinyl eased up on the teasing look. “Mhm. And you don’t think it will be awkward being alone with her for several days if you can’t even joke about it?”

His anger fought valiantly to hold the line right before deflating into something more helpless as Blitz's chin fell to the counter. “I have no idea what will happen. I don’t even know what I want to happen.”

Vinyl’s horn lit up as Blitz’s head was lifted off his paperwork. “C’mon, you’ll screw up if you think like that, or think at all for that matter. Everything will work out fine if you just do what feels right.”

“How did it go with you?” Blitz asked, not quite cheering up.

The DJ flashed a wolfish grin. “Now I’m going out with my sexy roommate.”

With that, Blitz turned his red face around and began to walk away.

“Just tell me if you want to add ‘with benefits’ to your file, alright? The insurance won’t cover the clap otherwise.” She laughed up until a thrown pair of headphones lodged themselves in her mouth.

(For the record, that was the second time Blitz put something in a mare’s mouth. You know, in case you were counting.)

Said Pegasus examined himself in the back side of a small disc he found in an aisle to be sure he was presentable. It would not have sit right with him to return to Dash with anything less than complete confidence and composure. Not that he needed to have any sort of impression on her or anything. That would be ridiculous.

This was rendered redundant, however, when he happened upon a griffon scrutinizing the flank of a Pegasus. She was mouthing “red, yellow, and blue” repeatedly.

“What are you looking for there, Gilda?” he laughed. “A pot of gold?”

“I told you it was weird,” Dash groaned.

Protests were met with a waved claw. “Yeah, yeah. Keep whining. Get over here stand next to her.”

“What? Do you want me to help you look?”

Gilda rolled her eyes. “No, but I know how much you’d like to.”

Blitz gulped as he concentrated on taking no more than one glance at Dash’s flank. Suddenly, he did not need anyone poking around near his back-half.

“Um, Dash? Shouldn’t we be-?”

“Oh just do it or she won’t shut up.”

The stallion reluctantly complied and stood next to the mare. The sensation of knowing someone was behind him and examining him was very uncomfortable. The three received an odd look by a passing customer.

“Are you almost done back there?” Blitz said impatiently.

“It would be a lot easier to compare you two if you weren’t flicking your tails all over each other. We’re in public, sheesh.”

“I’m not!” the pair said, as one.

“Uh huh. Whatever.” She gave Dash’s rump a slight push right into her clone’s. She let out an undignified yelp she toppled into Blitz, who not only reciprocated her response, but also collapsed onto the floor.

“Sorry,” Gilda said through snickers. “I slipped.”

Dash stared daggers at her old friend from the pile of cyan pony. Blitz, on the other hand, had to focus a little more on ignoring the sensation of rubbing up against the mare. He settled on facing his head in no particular direction while maintaining a generally displeased look.

“Well? Did you find what was so important to you?” Dash said to Gilda as she clambered off of her clone.

“Huh? Oh yeah. You two have the same cutie-mark. It’s a lot less interesting now that I know for sure.”

Blitz sighed and stood up. “It’s nice to know we cleared that up for you.”

Gilda gave him a grin before turning back to Dash. “What I really want to know is where you found somepony that looks and acts exactly like you.”

The pegasi shared a nervous glance and kept quiet. However, the already calm atmosphere of the scarcely populated store made the prolonged lull in conversation intolerable.

Dash scratched her neck. “Oh yeah. Heh. That’s a funny story. Why don’t you tell her, Blitz?”

Blitz gave her a brief scowl before returning his attention to the topic at hoof. “Why don’t you? I always screw it up when I try to tell it.”

“Really. I think you should.”

“But your side is so much more interesting.”

“So tell the story from my side!”

“That’s stupid!”

“You’re stupid!”

“Guys!” Gilda interjected. “It’s fine if it’s too embarrassing or mushy to tell me here. You don’t have to.”

“It’s not mushy!” they yelled together.

Gilda rolled her eyes. “Mushy, X-rated, whatever.”

Dash hung her head. “Pain. Flank. You.”

“C’mon Dash,” Blitz said, walking towards the door. “We’ve got to go before she wants to check our tongues or something.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” she said back.

A few steps later, Gilda called out behind her.

“Hey, Dash.”

Dash turned back to her fillyhood friend. The griffon opened her mouth to speak then she paused and shook her head.

“I’ll, uh, see you later?” The normally casual farewell expressing desire to meet up at a later date came out as more of a question than a statement. Her usually confident voice shook with uncertainty.

Dash caught the significance of her tone and finally absorbed what had happened between them just then. She hadn't usually been one to make friends of her enemies. Her nature did not sit well with malicious behavior. If one was to always stand by their friends, then one was to always stand against their adversaries. It had served her well in the past.

But that was no way to act. The prospect of regaining a friend was too great. There were plenty of times she had been forgiven for her behavior and it was time to reciprocate.

One nice pause later, Dash gave her friend a grin. “Sure. See ya.” Then she hurried to catch up to her clone as the walked out the door.

It seemed odd to fully put an end to such a conflict with three words, but Dash knew that was all that needed to be said.
They took off toward the peak that dominated the sky, Blitz trailing behind with his saddlebag full of supplies. Gilda glanced up at them upon exiting the shop before continuing to prowl through Canterlot’s streets. This time, the crowd only felt the need to give her a small berth.

…

-Hello again.