Chapters Death of the Best Show Ever
A black twelve-inch Ponsome TV sat on a shoddy wooden stand thrown together by a demanding unicorn, a crotchety earth pony and a torn-up Ponkea manual. In front of that setup, on a couch that only a grandmare would own, sat that earth pony. That light green earth pony cried on the plush, flower-patterned, mothball smelling, hoof-me-down.
White text crawled up the black screen of the TV ever so slowly as the earth pony, Solar Fury, sobbed. They would do anything to get it back, but there was nothing they could do. To make it even worse the ending wasn’t even all that great; it was ok at best. It was much too short, much too soon, much too abrupt. What else would they do Saturdays at 9 am?
Solar Fury sighed deeply as they wiped their tear-stained muzzle off, not that it helped as more tears kept rolling down their cheeks. Their other hoof busy holding a half-eaten soft pretzel covered in obscene amounts of ketchup. Solar shoved the rest of the pretzel into their muzzle as they rubbed their hooves into a dark green-blue mane. As Solar thought, they rubbed their hooves into that mane harder, and harder, their brows furrowed, a sigh heavier than a wagon full of apples left their muzzle.
Solar Fury leaned forward with a grunt as they grabbed the silver and black remote from the matching couch ottoman. Solar clicked the lightly worn out, light blue, up arrow button in the hopes for after credits. One minute left and they knew, there would be no after-credits for this show. Solar Fury sighed once more as they stared into the white credit abyss looking for an answer to their problem. Taking a deep breath, they cradled the remote to the TV in their hoof. It seemed like Solar would have to fill their Saturday mornings with something else, something new.
Unfortunately, Solar Fury did not know where to start looking. Guess it was time to text a friend for a suggestion. Solar picked up the solid crystal piece next to them, causing it to light up with a light blue hue. Onto the wall, it projected a lock screen. A pixelated display of two ponies, Solar and their unicorn partner, the same one that helped put together the TV stand, appeared instantaneously. They appeared to be kissing under the mistletoe, surrounded by snow, taken last year at the Griffon’s Hearths’ Warming market.
Solar smiled lightly, the pain from the loss of Solar’s favorite show already easing at the thought of Solar Fury’s special somepony. Solar Fury pressed their hoof to the crystal, waiting as it took their hoofprint for the password. “Ding,” it rang as it opened up to Solar Fury's home screen, projecting another picture of a happy couple swimming in the lakes of the Crystal Empire.
“Text Shadow Snow,” Solar Fury instructed, prompting the crystal to open up their text history. There, last night's conversation sat in green and blue bubbles. And, in a light gray box, a white line blinked constantly as it awaited for the pony to speak. “Sup, I just finished the show of the century. What do I watch now? Nothing nerdy. I know you like that but, science is for lame-oids.” Solar spoke to the crystal, as they did so it typed out everything spoken aloud.
“Are we still planning to go to The Rocking Horse? Love you,” Solar said as they blushed a deep shade of red. "Send text," they marbled out, muzzle scrunched, heart beating faster than a hummingbird.
That blush faded from their face as Solar Fury waited, and waited, and waited. Minutes had passed and there was still no answer. Then, they remembered that Shadow Snow was working that day, until six o'clock that night. No wonder their date was at eight. Solar Fury sighed, with their favorite pony preoccupied, what they were to do now? Solar Fury took one last look at the credits, it looked like the end of them. He knew that from the three logos of the largest production companies in all of Equestria in elaborate well-designed logos sitting in the middle of the black screen. Rising Sun Ink, Friendship Corporation, and Discord Waz Here. Well, since they were here may as well see what was on next.
Solar grabbed the remote tightly and clicked the equally faded channel up button.
Author's Note
A small black box hovered in the corner, it read ‘49’ for only a few moments. A similar blue box popped up at the bottom. Hunting Humans Season 6 Episode 10. Genre, Drama, Mystery, Thriller. Join a tight crew of three as they track through the forest. Will they finally find humans? Or just the evidence they left behind?
Hunting Humans
“Millions of stories, thousands of recorded encounters, three best friends.” a deep raspy voice spoke over a dense forest of thick trees. “And in this episode of Hunting Humans!”
“Follow the Hunting Humans Posse as they make their way all over Equestria to track down these alleged creatures,” the voice spoke, as the screen began to introduce three friends portrayed in this show. Bankroll, the group leader and founder. A light green earth pony with dark almost black hair. Zooleaf, the biologist. A light pink dragon with a dirty blond belly. Bolt, the expert animal wrangler. A black, red, and grey griffin.
The crew chat amongst themselves for a few scarce moments before Bankroll turned to face the camera. “Hello, and welcome to Hunting Humans. I’m your host Bankroll, and today we are going to scout out a hot spot near Canterlot Castle.”
“And here is Joe of Joe's donut shop. Who claims to have photos of the humans we are looking for,” Bankroll said as he passed a purple checkered house. Continuing down the street, he reached a pale yellow stallion with a light brown mane.
“Hello!” Joe yelled, waving his right hoof furiously at the crew. He stood in front of the white and pink building that was his namesake.
“Hello Joe, we got your message!” Bankroll waved back excitedly.
“You are not going to believe your eyes or ears! Follow me!” Joe said excitedly as he trotted around to the back of his building. There was the forest, Joe pointed his hoof right to. “Right there, I saw it right there! My surveillance cameras grabbed photos of it! Even though they aren't the best, it's solid proof that humans do exist .” Joe spoke before digging his muzzle into his apron pocket.
Bankroll beamed and rushed over to Joe, pulling the photos right from the muzzle so hard Joe fell right to the ground. Not that Bankroll cared, as he laid the photos onto the ground, smiling.
“Sorry about that, he gets excited about all this stuff,” Bolt apologized as he reached a claw out to Joe, grunting as he lifted Joe off the ground.
“It’s alright, I’m ok,” Joe grunted back, leaning most of his weight onto the griffon as he got up. Joe then followed the griffon closely towards an over-excited Bankroll with his photographs still lying on the ground.
“Wow, just wow...” Bankroll said as he gazed over the photos, shaking his head in disbelief. “I've seen proof, but...but before but nothing at all like this!”
“What are we even looking at?” Zooleaf asked, her brows creasing as she stared at the pictures.
“Will you guide us through what you saw, Joe?” Zoofleaf asked.
“Alright, I saw a human, but the strange thing was it wasn't human for long. As you see in the photos, it turned into a normal pony.” As Joe spoke, the camera panned over every photo.
The first image displayed a tall, thin, yellowish creature that appeared to be about five feet tall. It wore some sort/kind of multi-colored/colored cloth on its frame. It was black and silver on top and had a pinkish shade of purple below. Its head was covered with bacon patterned hair and had some resemblance to a pony's mane.
Astounded, the crew quickly turned their attention to the proceeding images. The second image revealed the creature again, though it was washed to a blur in bright white light.
Disappointed in the poor resolution of the creature in the second picture, the crew moved to look at the third. It took mere milliseconds for everyone’s jaw to drop in shock and surprise. Bankroll blinked twice at the shocking revelation, staring into the image in clear disbelief.
The photograph depicted a pony they were familiar with, one that they knew and loved, Sunset Shimmer. Her eccentric manestyle and hide color were characteristic of her; it was simply unmistakable.
The silence was deafening as the crew stared at the image in complete awe.
“My daughter even got her footprints, but unfortunately, she’s at school right now,” Joe said, the first to break the science. He pulled two plaster casts out of his cooking apron, they were odd, oblong shapes that connected to a bigger, longer structure. He placed them onto the ground right next to the photos.
“Do you know what this means?” Bankroll said as he turned to his two companions. Their jaws hung low and their muzzles were paler than Joe’s building. “What is with you two?!”
“The humans, they are among us…” Zooleaf mumbled out her heart pounding against her throat as she stared blankly ahead.
“It...looks just like Sunset Shimmer..” Bolt stated. “Does...does that mean she’s human?”
“Or does it mean any one of us could be human?” Zooleaf asked with a heavy huff. “What if it could morph into whatever it wants to be, whoever it wants to be, like a changeling?”
“And look at those! What is that? Some kind of...hoof or something?” Bolt squeaked, pointing his shaking claw at the print Joe produced. “If it is, it’s definitely bigger than us!”
“Guys?” Bankroll asked with a frown.
“Bankroll maybe this is a bad idea… we should leave now,” Zooleaf stammered, her claws shaking.
“What we just got here...” Bankroll whined like a foal.
“We did, but how do we know whether Joe... is Joe,” Bolt pointed a claw at him. “That thing could be anywhere!.”
“What am I? Why would I tell you humans are real if I am a human? Why wouldn’t I keep it a secret?” Joe yelled back, stomping his hoof firmly into the ground.
“Do humans eat ponies?” Bolt stuttered out as he looked towards Bolt, his pupils constricting to pinpoints.
“I...don’t know,” Zooleaf said in a monotone, even voice, the same look of fear apparent in her eyes.
“Bankroll...maybe this is a bad idea. What if it sees this episode and knows that we know of its existence? How do we know if we are safe?” Bolt asked as he stared off into Bankroll's direction, Zooeleaf not far behind.
A bead of sweat formed on Bankroll's forehead as his friends stared him down. He didn’t want them to bail on him, not when he was so close to the truth. “Oh come on, we are almost to the bottom of this. I can feel it. I’m gonna go talk to Starlight Shimmer. Demand some answers!”
“I’m not going,” Bolt said flatly with a shake of his head.
“Neither will I, I thought this would be fun, not scary,” Zooleaf said as she curled up behind Bolt, clinging to him as she shook.
Bolt wrapped a claw around her, “I didn’t think they would end up being real…” Bolt admitted. To be frank, he thought this was all a hoax Bankroll set up to swindle the TV station into paying for his ridiculous adventures.
“Come on. We spent three seasons and so many bits on tracking these creatures down,” Bankroll whined again. He knew these creatures were definitely real, and he was so tantalizingly close to the truth. There was no way he was going to give up now!
“We don't know anything about them, Bank. What if they have six rows of teeth? What if they can turn invisible, go through walls! They could have powers we can’t dream of!” Bolt stated, pointing his free claw into Bankroll’s muzzle. “It isn’t safe anymore.”
“Come on don't do this….” Bankroll whined again, tears forming at the edge of his eyes.
“What if they are like Sombra and mess with our minds?”
A single tear dropped down onto Bankroll’s muzzle, “I thought we were in this together. I can’t believe you all! After all this time, you abandoned me right when we are about to discover the truth! That’s it! Cut the camera. Cut it!”
A hoof slammed into the camera, cracking the screen. Only static remained, hissing behind big bold letters that faded into the screen. “The End?”
Author's Note
A small black box hovered in the corner, it read ‘48’ for only a few moments. A similar blue box popped up at the bottom. Pone Vs Wild Season 3 Episode 1. Genre: survival, thriller, drama, slice of life. Follow Daring Doo through terrain after train, learning survival tactics from the best of the best.
Pony Vs Wild
An image of Daring Do flickered onto the screen soon after. She swung across a swamp filled with alligators, with a thick green vine in her muzzle.
The image changed once more, to one of her dangling off the edge of a cliff, as she was desperately trying to climb up. “Hello I'm Daring Do,” her voice said as her picture almost slipped off the thirty-foot cliff. Fear flashed into her eyes as she used her muzzle to clamp down onto the cliff.
“And welcome to Pone Vs Wild !” her voice narrated as the screen faded into another scene, this time depicting her running down a cave with seemingly no way of escape. To make matters worse, a large boulder chased after her throughout the entire ordeal.
“On this program, I will show you how to survive in any situation, anywhere.” Daring Do spoke, as she rushed out of the cave to reveal a dark chasm that overlooked the Everfree Forest. “This time I’m smack dab in the middle of the Everfree Forest where I am going to show you how to survive!”
The camera then zoomed into Daring. “Now follow me!” Daring exclaimed as she rushed over towards the long black vines that covered almost every inch of the undergrowth of the forest.
She spoke again. “The most important part of surviving anywhere is to be prepared!” The shaky camera finally settled onto Daring reaching into a worn burlap backpack. “Now you won’t always get the chance to enter the forest, but the Everfree is a secluded place. Only Zecora and Deer live inside the forest, and Fluttershy lives a few miles away from the outskirts. No creature comes in here unless they really want to.”
Daring scooted closer to the dark vines. “Even though this place is dark and creepy, it is great for shortcuts! With my survival tips, you’ll be confident enough to go in there by yourself, even at night!”
“Aha!” she yelled as she brought out a purple and green rubber chicken from her survival backpack. “Now this is the easiest part of the Everfree. These black vines were made by Discord when he was evil. The only danger they pose is that they are wicked sharp.”
“Discord made this, and with one honk the vines shrivel out of your way.” the chick mooed like a cow, blowing bubbles at the dark vine. Quickly, the vine shriveled up and fell to the ground at the slightest touch of neon-colored soap bubbles. “It’s free, and you can get one anywhere!”
Daring Do shoved the chicken back into her backpack. “Now you don’t have to go far to run into our next problem, and that would be unknown creatures that no one has ever been successful in finding out what they look like, not even Fluttershy,” she said as she trotted deeper into the thick woods, the bright sun giving in to the darkness. Only small beams of light could be seen sneaking between the branches of the tightly woven trees.
“Rarity, the element of generosity, first stumbled upon them after looking for a cure for a silly string stuck in her mane,” Daring explained as she pointed a tan hoof to a healthy, bushy shrub. Underneath that shrub blinked several pairs of eyes. “They fear loud noises, as I will now demonstrate. BEAT IT SPOOKY EYES!” With that, the eyes whimpered, scurrying away immediately to disappear into the leafy confines of that mysterious shrub.
“These are the issues an average creature will run into when taking a shortcut, but if you get lost and go a little deeper and you might run into this little Parasprite, Poison Joke,” Daring said as she stopped in front of a small field of blue flowers.
“You can see these everywhere in the forest. They are now used for tea and medicine. Fluttershy, Zecora, and Applebloom figured out how to boil them down for use,” Daring said as she trotted around the flowers. “A single touch and the flower works immediately, playing a semi-harmless joke on you. But don’t worry there is a cure; Zecora sells it for only two bits.”
Daring paused as the camera panned up towards the canopy, the thin rays of sunlight barely slipping it through the tiny gaps. In spite of the winding vines and thick vegetation, a faint gust of wind could still be felt, causing a high-pitched whistle noise as it made its difficult journey through the vines.
“The deeper you venture into this beautiful place, the more careful you must be of the ground beneath you. Starlight Glimmer once fell into a hole right around this area. Fortunately, she was able to get out but that may not always be the case. Twilight patched it up of course, but it might not be the only hole around. So stay away from the ground that appears sunken.”
“So stay away from any depressions, especially next to trees. If you are unsure, just tap your hoof on the ground like this,” a tan hoof smooshed, and squished the ground under it. It muddied up but did not give. She weaved through the thick black vines and trees. Using the chicken only when she had to. She squished herself out of the vines and rolled right next to the swamp.
“Of course, there is quicksand to worry about. Grainy soil, rivers, marshes, swamps, lakes, and beaches are all places that could potentially have quicksand. There are a few rivers and a huge swamp in the Everfree, which means that the odds of you encountering quicksand is fairly real. If you do get trapped in quicksand, do not panic. It’s gonna be hard not to, but you must remain calm and collected or you will sink right away. Slowly wiggle your limbs; you want the water down at your hooves. Try to float on your back, like in a swimming pool. The more you disperse your weight the better!” Darling explained as her hoofs carefully felt over the ground, her eyes looking over the spots of dirt.
“Push yourself back, use your forehooves to wiggle the rest of your body free until pulling yourself out is a possibility. ” Daring Do said as she approached the edge of the deep green water that filled the huge swamp.
“But that’s not all that makes this area dangerous; there are other pointers to worry about. Here is the location where Zecora contracted Swamp Fever. If left untreated, this mysterious ailment can turn you into a tree,” Daring explained as she pointed to a flower several inches from her muzzle, whispering to ensure that she would not disturb it in any way.
“This blue flower with yellow spots is the culprit. A sniff of its pollen and you contract swamp fever. Symptoms are sneezing bubbles, red dots on the skin, and wooden branches growing out of you,” she spoke as she darted away from the flower carefully and over to one of the many orange trees.
“A cure can be found with Zecora but you must act quickly, for you may become one of these very trees. Who knows, they could all have once been ponies,” Daring frowned at the tree as she ran her hoof along its bark. “So I recommend you be kind to them just in case.”
Daring Do stepped through the trees making her way through the swamp. She passed a log that was floating smack in the middle of it, making a very convenient pathway that would enable anypony to cut through most of the forest. “It's best to never cut through here. You could wear a mask or wrap your shirt around your muzzle but that won't help much. It’s best to go the long way, even if you did have the perfect mask, this swamp is filled with hungry cragadiles!”
She explained as she trotted through the muddy area, still keeping a watchful gaze over the unforgiving ground. “Cragadiles aren't the only hungry ones, there are a ton of predators around! Here is what we know about them.”
“Cragadiles live in bubbly creeks and are usually asleep. As long as you're quiet they won't bother you. Parasprites are small and harmless, as long as you don’t feed them.”
“Giant Rocs are huge predatory birds that usually hunt small, adolescent dragons, but are known to prey on other small creatures. Timberwolves, creatures made of twigs, logs and leaves, are also predators. They can fall apart but it takes a lot of magic.”
“Ursae, another predatory animal, has fur like the night sky. They take a lot of magic to defeat and the only creature to do it known to creature-kind is Twilight.”
“However, there are predators that you no longer need to worry about. Hydra do not live here; that was a rumor. Manticores, Cockatrices, and Sea Serpents are no longer a worry after the Fluttershy negotiations. They now live in peace with us,” she spoke as she wiggled her way through another set of dense dark trees.
Daring stared forward at the trees with a fiery stair of determination until her eyes narrowed and locked ahead on just one. “AHA!” She pointed her right hoof up towards thick branches of the tree. “Because of ground predators you want to sleep above ground, but not on the canopy where you would attract flying predators. This is the perfect height for camp.”
“But first we should search for food, since we won't be getting down for the rest of the night. Now is the time to gather everything you need. “Many edible plants are lying around such as Crisscross Moss, some berries, and Zap Apples,” Daring said as she headed over to a twisted tree, on which it grew colorful apples. “However, there isn’t too much food around for foraging, so make sure you pack extra food,” Daring stated as she flew up to the tree, picking off the apples and putting them into her bowl-shaped hat.
“As for water, it would be best to set up a tarp to not only provide shelter from the elements, but also catch rainwater especially if you happen to forget your filter. If you do have one, then obtaining drinking water from any river will do,” Daring said as she laid her hat on the ground. She grabbed the bag off her back and dug through it, looking for the tarp to tie onto the Zap apple tree.
‘Crunch,’ Daring stopped and her eyes grew wide, the camera shaking as Daring and the camerapony both turned towards their left. There, sniffing at Daring’s hat, was a timberwolf the size of four ponies put together. It reached into the hat to seize an apple before spitting it out with a clear look of disgust.
Daring leapt for her hat, leaving the apples behind she threw her bag on her back. The camera shook so badly it could only capture pixelated frames of black and green. The roar of the timberwolf could be heard from behind them. “Don’t stop running!” Daring yelled as her breath and another’s soon overwhelmed the audio of crunching leaves.
“AWOOOOO!” the timberwolf yelled. “AWOOOOOOOO,” answered its pack as the sound of crunching fought the sound of panicked breathing.
“It's not too far now, just keep running!” Daring voice yelled, barely being heard over the sounds of hunted ponies. Soon enough both Daring and her camera pony stopped coming to halt on a beautiful green field of lush grass and flowers.
The camera shook, though less so as it turned to face a pack of Timberwolves fighting against a large blue magic shield. “When you run deep enough into the forest you shall find the city of Deer ruled by Bramble. Over time, they became our friends but are still very cautious so it's best to put the camera away.” Daring said as she shook, though by camera or by her, one will never know. “This has been Pone Vs Wild. See you next time when we enter the Chaos Realm.”
Author's Note
A small black box hovered in the corner, it read ‘14’ for only a few moments. A similar blue box popped up at the bottom. Shed Season 3 Episode 1. Genre, Drama. Shed is the smartest in his field, every day he sees unique problems only he can solve.
Shed
A calm, rhythmic beat accompanied an image of a dancing brain. A big white box with the letter S in it faded over the brain, before cutting to black. White letters emerged one after another until it spelled out the word “Shed.”
An earth pony with a pepper grey mane and a dark blue hide played around with a blue and white beach ball, his hindlegs propping up on an old, wooden desk. A scooter stood faithfully beside him, its age evident from the many nicks and scratches it had sustained over the many years.
He sighed as he stared out to the big glass door and his backyard, disinterested in any of the toys in his playroom. He shifted around in his chair, groaning into the air, his eyes aimlessly wandering around.
“Doctor Shed!” A familiar voice called as she rounded the doorway to the playroom. Turning back, an earth pony with purple, curly hair greeted his vision.
“Ah, Forty-Two! How are you?” Shed asked, continuing to toss the beach ball about. She was probably here for a visit. He hoped she had a game that they could play, else this day was going to be a very long one.
Forty-Two rolled her eyes and groaned aloud. “Doctor Shed. A patient came in today with matted fur.” Forty-Two said as she haphazardly threw a manila envelope onto his desk. It slid across the wood, knocking over a plastic tin filled with candy corn onto the table.
"Hey! I only get so much of that! Be careful!"
“Stop calling me Forty-Two and maybe I’ll be more careful!”
“No, only a dummy eats Forty-Two cotton balls before realizing they aren’t marshmallows!” he yelled at one-fourth of his personal team. "He probably got glazed with some honey. Just throw him into the washing machine and it'll be resolved. Case solved!"
“We did, but he got worse, not better,” Forty-Two huffed as she flopped down into a bean bag. Loafing onto it, she played with a half-solved jigsaw puzzle as she waited for Shed to read through the file.
Shed looked at the manila envelope. After grabbing a bunch of candy corn and throwing them into his muzzle, he flipped the envelope open, revealing two different photographs.
The left image had the bear's name written across the top corner, Sir Fluff. In the photo, Sir Fluff lay on a blue blanket. His fluff was stuck together in knots, sometimes sticking to the hide of the bear. The unusual thing is that the residue on the bear was consistent with chewed gum or honey.
Shed hummed in thought as he took a glance at the photo on the right. These toys usually got better after a loving wash and comb treatment, but unfortunately, it looked like the usual treatment was ineffective. This poor bear looked like a couple of cases Shed had seen before, similar to those that were found in the garbage can, or found buried in the ground, or one left in a basement for years. However, a closer inspection of the toy gave Shed quite a shock; he couldn’t believe that such a thing was happening right under his snout. The poor thing’s fur was so matted and worn you could barely tell it was a bear in the first place.
“Huh, interesting. I’ll do it. Let’s go see, and we can make Stressed and More Stressed interview the washers. I wanna make sure that we employ only the best of the best, and to show that this is not on us,” she said as he tossed the beach ball into the corner.
“You mean Lava and Glider; those nicknames are stupid, Shed,” huffed Forty-Two. “Now let’s go, its condition could be worsening!”
“Alright, calm down, just take a chill pill,” she said as he stood up from his office chair, grabbing the container of candy corn. Hooves clacked against the cold tiled floor as he approached a male unicorn stirring something inside a large metal pot.
“I'm going out Dad, there’s a toy that needs to be cleaned up,” Shed said as he tugged on his fathers dark blue tail.
A gruff voice answered him, “Alright, but be home before dark. We are having carrot pot pie for dinner.”
“OOOOO , I love carrot pot pie! Be back before dark, love you daddy!” Shed said as he gripped onto one of his fathers light blue hooves.
“I love you too pumpkin, now go have fun with your friends. I wanna hear all about it when you get back.”
Shed smiled as he felt his father tussle his mane with his hoof. Letting go of his leg, Shed trotted after Forty-Two, panting as he caught up with her. He took a moment to catch his breath before he spoke. “Alright, to the toy store then!”
Forty-Two and Shed walked together through the busy streets of Ponyville. Adults passed by, as did the colorful buildings and shops. Forty-Two and Shed stopped at none of them, not even bothering to play in the square fountain, something they did together often. After all, they were on a mission, a mission to help a poor bear.
Eventually they reached a small toy store. One the best toy makers Ponyville had ever seen lived there, and Shed was lucky to be interning under her and her daughter. It was one of the most coveted positions a seamstress could get.
However, that didn’t stop him from getting bored. He was already considered a master among his peers and a prodigy among adults. He thought it would take longer for one to become good at their special talent, but it looked like Shed was a fast learner.
The doorbell rang as Shed opened the door, going right up to the phone to pick it up.
“Hey,” Lavender, the granddaughter of the owner greeted.
“Hey, this is yummy,” he said as he pressed some numbers, and waited for the phone to be engaged.
“You can't just-”
“Hello Lava. Get Glider and Forty-Two, come down to the toy store. I want you to go through the video footage and interview every employee who hoof-washes toys. I will not tolerate anybody deviating from the standard cleaning procedures on my team. Bye,” he said sternly as he slammed the phone down, hoping that no one was doing so, but he had to be sure.
“You really should get permission before-”
“You really shouldn’t have cooties!”
“I DO NOT HAVE COOTIES!”
“DO TOO!” he yelled at Lavender, her muzzle turning a deep shade of red. His heart beat thudded in her ears as he looked away from her. “Nerd.”
“Shed and Lavender sittin’ in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g,” Forty-Two started singing, a smile so wide it almost took up her entire muzzle. “Smoochy, smoochy, smooochy!”
“I DON’T LIKE HIM! Go back to work, Forty-Two,” Lavender snapped as she slammed her hoof down onto the wooden floor.
Forty-Two just giggled as she stepped through another wooden door leading to a hallway. She trotted down the hallway of private rooms until she reached the last one on the left. She pulled back the flower-patterned shower curtain and stepped inside.
Dr. Shed stood before a crying foal. “It is what has to be done.”
“What did you do?” Forty-Two panicked as Shed was often known to be sassy, and insensitive. So, she rushed to the patient immediately, fearing the worst.
“I got consent, the patient’s going to need a full thread and stuffing replacement. Although that won't solve the problem with his hide, he's starting to smell moldy. If I do not tend to it, the mold could spread to his hide, and it would all be over,” Shed said as he threw a piece of paper into Forty-Two’s forehooves.
“Get her to stop crying. I'll get ready, meet me in Operating Room three when you are too,” Shed instructed as he pushed the brightly colored curtain aside. His hooves echoed off the tile floor as he grabbed the sterile blue bed the teddy bear stood on.
With a grunt, the wheels of a small blue stretcher bed squeaked against the floor as Shed pushed it out of the room and down the hall, ignoring the cries of an upset mare behind him. No matter how much she cried and begged, he kept a steady pace down the hallway until he reached his objective.
“Why won’t he listen to me...” the mare pouted as she pushed against Forty-Two.
“Shed is the best of the best. He will make sure everything will go perfectly. If anyone can save Sir Fluff, it is him.”
“Can you stay with me?” the mare whimpered as tears fell down her muzzle in a cascade.
“Of course I can!” Forty-Two said as she took a seat next to the mare. “My name is Berry, what is yours?”
“Crimson Snow,” the foal whimpered out, his voice rough from crying. Her eyes sagged as she clutched her hooves onto her chest tightly.
The clock ticked by and Crimson didn’t get any better. Her body remained tight, and trembling. Once full of color, she was now drained and stared voidly into nothing. Berry did what she could but nothing she tried worked. The mare wouldn’t respond, which left nothing but a long bout of eerie silence .
The flowered curtain shrieked open, making both mares jump. Doctor Shed stepped in with a cocky smile. “He’s fine, his fluff was moldy, when I opened him up; see, you could see it rotting away. I played it safe and replaced all the thread too. Take him home, he will be just fine.”
“Thank you, Doctor!” Crimson Snow smiled, as she shot down the hallway to pick up her teddy bear.
“Another case solved,” Doctor Shed smirked at his colleague.
“Let’s go celebrate!”
“YES!” They all jumped, running off to the gaming room. They were setting up the console when a ring sounded from the phone in the game room.
“Hello….WHAT? Well, bring him back this instant!” he yelled as he slammed the phone down, making a harsh metallic ring.
“What’s wrong?”
“It's that bear, Crimson Snow washed him but somehow he is in the same condition he came in. Get the crew and meet me back here.”
“Alright,” Forty-Two said as she dashed out of the room.
Shed grumbled as he dragged out a small whiteboard from the left wall. He rolled it out to the middle of the room and grabbed his favorite pink marker. On the board, he wrote, “matted fur when washed” and “stuffing mold.”
Lava, Glider and Berry stepped into the room, making themselves comfortable on the few chairs around before Shed and his whiteboard. He stood before them, a marker in hoof ready to write down some ideas.
“Lava, Glider, what have we found?”
“Well, we looked through all the cameras and interviewed every single creature in our facility and nothing. No signs of any negligence,” Lava said as she brushed her red bangs out of her eyes.
Shed's marker squeaked across the board as he jotted some keywords down. "Go on.”
“Well that’s good news but it doesn't explain why this keeps on happening. Matting, and molding of the stuffing. What about the washing machines? Have any of them been tampered with?”
“No, nothing we could see was amiss,” Glider said up as he leaned back laxly into his seat. “I’ve checked all the labels myself. Nothing’s wrong.”
“Well, if it is not us, and it is not her...what about the soap?” Shed questioned, he always kept an extra special supply of his own for the toys that needed it. It was incredibly expensive so it was not commonly used in the washing rooms unless it had to be.
“We did get a new kind, but it's working just fine on all the other toys,” Lava said.
“Yes but this bear is a lot older, and he could be made of a different fabric. Gliders, go get a bottle of soap; Berry, head to her house and check the soap and washer. Perhaps the soap used in their washing machine was too corrosive, which would explain everything but not the state of the bear’s eyes.The bear's eyes appear to have deeper scratches, something that is most probably due to its age. Perhaps it is their washing machine that they have at home?” Shed questioned. Fortunately, he always kept an extra supply of his own special mix for toys that really needed it.
Shed watched as his team shuffled off as he picked up the phone again. “Nurse, go to room five we need a teddy bear dried off,” he said before putting the phone back down. Now, he could do no more than wait for his team to get back.
Shed waited as the minutes ticked by, staring into the whiteboard, going over the symptoms in his head, just in case this didn’t work out in the end.
Lava, Glider, and Berry stepped back into the room. Glider and Berry carried two bottles of soap and Lava carried a piece of paper. Glider and Berry placed the two white bottles with red labels down on the floor. “Soft Plush Ink,” the bottles both said.
Lava placed the note next to the bottles and read it out loud. “Washer XI.”
Shed smiled. “Let's go talk to the mare again,” he said as he got up from the plush carpet floor. He led his team of four down the hallway and to the patient. He smiled wide as he threw the curtains covered in cartoon crows. “Good news, everycreature.”
“Oh?” the many ponies said in unison.
“He’s fine, his fluff was moldy, and the seams were worn. Unfortunately, that did not get at the real issue. Our doctors looked into not just the staff for neglect and found the true cause, detergent, and the washing machine.”
“The hide of this bear is different from the rest and needs special soap, combined with the harsh wash of your new machine-made him the way he is. Wash him by hoof with specialty soap, and he’ll be just fine.”
“Thank you, doctor!!”
“It’s what I do best.”
Author's Note
A small black box hovered in the corner, it read ‘43’ for only a few moments. A similar blue box popped up at the bottom. Infamy Season 2 Episode 1.Slice of Life, Drama. Infamy follows the escaped villains of Equestria as they try to regain their former glory. Or will they find friendship?
Infamy
Cozy Glow laid on a stolen red blanket next to Tirek where they sat in the warm embrace of the summer sun, its radiance prickling their hides comfortably between slow gusts of calm, chilly wind.
Cozy reached into a brown picnic basket with her forehoof. It creaked and groaned as she rummaged through its contents to pull out a heart-shaped sandwich. Her brows furrowed as she glared at the sandwich, incredulous. “Ugh, did it have to be a romantic picnic?”
“It has to have love in it, or else Chrysalis can't eat it. You and Sombra insisted that we are not supposed to kidnap anycreature for now, so this is ALL your fault!” Tirek exclaimed as he fished out another identically shaped sandwich for himself. Eyeing it, he wondered how ponies could survive on so little food. He needed to eat twice, or sometimes even three times the amount to satisfy himself.
“But we need to lie low! We don’t need to capture anycreature if we have the power of friendship on our side!” Cozy retorted before taking a large bite out of her sandwich. “Ooo daisy! At least those losers have some good taste in food.”
“Or just raw physical power!” Tirek flexed a red bicep as he tossed the daisy sandwich into his mouth.
“But friendship is power! Just look at Twilight and her friends! That's why we have to be friends in order to beat them!” Cozy hissed as she crushed the rest of her sandwich between her hooves. “Oh woopsies...”
“You better eat the rest of that; you aren't getting another. And don’t use that stupid face of yours. It won’t work,” Tirek huffed as he dug into the basket, pulling out a strawberry and vanilla cake. He smiled as he rummaged around the creaky basket for a knife. He hated sweet foods, but with their stocks of food running so low, he’d eat just about anything right now.
“AHEM,” Chrysalis coughed as she stepped out of the dense woods. A small hum filled the air as her green magic took control of the last sandwich from the basket. “If you both are finally done with your bickering, I have a new and brilliant plan for the destruction of Twilight and her friends!”
“Oh?!” Cozy and Tirek said with excitement, their attention refocused on Chrysalis with hopeful eyes.
“There are rumors of a spell, a spell that an ex-villain used before her foolish descent into friendship. My mortal enemy... Starlight Glimmer,” she hissed with hatred. “She found a time travel spell from Starswirl the Bearded. Unfortunately, she was too stupid to harness its true power properly. And so we will take it and use it to our FULL advantage. I spied around and I believe that it is in a nearby town in a library.”
“Ooh, I can already see where you're going with this. We will go at night, sneak in, sneak out, and bam. One time-traveling spell for us,” Cozy jumped up from her spot on the blanket, her wings fluttering in the air. “Just imagine, they’d have to give in with such a powerful spell on our side.”
“We could be unstoppable!” Tirek said as he slammed his fists down on the blanket, resulting in a heavy but dull thud against the semi-dry dirt.
Cozy rubbed a hoof on her chin as she flapped over to a particularly dark shadow. “The library closes in four hours. I could go in, ask for a book, and hide until the library closes. We can then work on stealing the spell together!”
“Won’t they know who you are? Our faces are plastered everywhere, with bounties for our capture! We have stay undercover,” Tirek questioned as he briefly watched Cozy, his eyes settling back on the self-proclaimed changeling queen.
“That’ll be easy, I'll just change my looks up a bit. Ponies are so stupid,” Cozy laughed.
“Are you both idiots? I’m a changeling! I’ll just do it. I can even grab food for myself and Tirek!” Chrysalis snapped.
“First of all, they have magic wards set up against you. You are the only real changeling left, the only one interested in taking the throne. The changelings have caved into Twilight and her friends’ stupid way of friendship, and I wouldn’t call it impossible if Thorax and Twilight come up with something to capture you.”
“Second, those creatures would be on high alert, especially with the amount of food we just stole. Those ponies could have already reported that incident to Twilight and her stupid friends,” Cozy growled as she remembered how they had managed to escape from Chrysalis’s green cocoons. “We need to be stealthy for this to work, especially since we are outnumbered.”
“Cozy is right,” a shadowy figure morphed into a dark pony behind them, causing the other two villains to jump in surprise. Not that they would want to admit it. “We have to be careful, we wouldn’t want to make any more noise than we have to. The elements have defeated us numerous times before. Our only chance is to be tactical and meticulous.”
Chrysalis reared her head back and her fangs glistened in the sun as she hissed, “I am sick of living like this, we could have better-”
"Don't you think I am sick of this?! I AM A KING! KINGS DON’T LIVE LIKE THIS!" Sombra yelled, stamping so hard on the ground the earth shook, his eyes glowing a deep purple.
“Why can't we just use Discord again? He’s just an idiot. We can just whisper in his ear like last time,” Tirek shrugged and rolled his eyes. “It's not like it is difficult to do.”
“You don’t know him as I do; Discord has a lot of power. Now that he's on the other side, that power would be against us. He turned you three into stone with that harmony spell. You underestimate him, the elements of harmony, and his magic. Cozy is right, we need to tap into the power of friendship without submitting to it. Work together, get what we want, then go our separate ways,” Sombra said as he glanced over the many eye rolls. “Ugh.”
“Thank you. Let me break it down for them,” Cozy coughed. “Discord is useless now, he has already given into friendship. Discord had used a harmony spell, and not his chaos magic to lock you up. Think of all the possibilities of the magic of chaotic harmony. Who knows what sort of things the lord of chaos could do with that much power?”
With a sudden swipe of the camera, a room appeared that showed something drastically different. Sombra was sitting in a plush purple chair in front of an egg-white wall. A small black box scrolled over the image with the text ‘Sombra’s Confessions’ displayed. He looked into the camera with tired sunken eyes, grimacing as he spoke.
“In the past, if you were to tell me that I was working with a child, I'd think you would be crazy, even if it were true. I would have killed you on the spot," Sombra said as purple smoke danced around his muzzle.
"If you said two grown-[beep] adults couldn’t [beep] get along and a [censored] child had more sense than the both of them, I’d run the other way, for you must be out of your mind.”
“Here I am, working with a [censored] child and one of her brain cells could make more sense than one entire [beep] adult brain. The concept isn’t hard to understand, and even an old being such as myself can understand such a simple concept. How much of a [beep] fool do you have to be to not see the obvious? I’m either going to go insane, or kill them in the process.”
“No problem. Now let's change your looks. And the two of you, act like adults!” Sombra snapped at Tirek and Chrysalis as he took Cozy off to start phase one of their plan. He looked at Cozy slowly forming a plan. It wasn't long before Sombra was looking around the forest of green and brown. His eyes widened, a bone-chilling smile dawning on his muzzle as he spotted some vibrant red flowers. A sharp ripping sound filled the air as he plucked the flowers out of the ground, with huge chunks of grass dangling off of them.
“What are you hey-” Cozy said as she tried to stop Sombra from rubbing that stuff into her mane and coat. Not that she could, as her fight quickly ended up just being small, useless flails against his purple magic.
“Go look,” Sombra said as he pointed to a nearby lake.
Cozy took to her wings, the surrounding grass blasting sideways in her wake. She turned her head over the edge of the lake, before slowly opening her eyes to stare at herself in shock. With a greenish-blond mane, she could barely recognize her own reflection from the serene waters of the lake. “I...look different,” she looked back at Sombra with interest. “How?”
Sombra rubbed his hoof on the wet grass, cringing at the feel of his muddy hoof. He then held up his now dark green hoof. “I get stains all the time.”
“You are a genius! I'm glad we are friends. Those other two can shove it. So me, me and meeee! When I get my immense power, I will definitely keep our alliance!” Cozy chirped as she flew by Sombra's side.
“Yes...alliance, but I am not your friend,” Sombra spoke, turning his muzzle so quickly you would think that his neck would snap. He growled at Cozy, glaring at her with his flickering purple eyes.
Cozy’s muzzle wrinkled briefly as she lifted her hoof up in the air. But before she could say anything, she saw Tirek and Chrysalis huddling together and whispering to each other. “HEY, what are you two up to?” Cozy yelled.
There was another sudden swipe of the camera that showed that same plush purple chair in front of an egg-white wall. This time, Tirek and Chrysalis were sitting on it, smiling at each other, with fangs glinting, and eyes narrowing. It was time to explore the inner workings of Tirek’s and Chrysalis’ thoughts.
“Oh, we’ll do the plan alright, and get something for us too,” Tirek punctuated with a boisterous laugh.
“Yes, while we make Sombra and Cozy do all the work. We will hunt down what we deserve. Love to feast on!” Chrysalis said as she once more bore her fangs, drool leaving the corner of her muzzle as she licked her lips.
“Power to absorb!”
“New pillows!”
“New sheets!”
“New towels!”
“Oh new towels, that's a must. I don't know why those two fools can't see what is important. We deserve the best of the best,” Tirek said as he slammed a clenched fist into his open right palm.
“Fools. They’re all acting as though we're no better than those petty ponies. wE sHoULd SaVE thAt MonEY fOr ImPorTAnT THinGS!” Chrysalis said as she pitched her voice to be higher, tilting her muzzle rapidly as she did so.
“Ha! You sound just like Sombra,” Tirek laughed, his hearty vibrations echoing off the small confines of the room.
Chrysalis covered her ears with her hooves, the constant ringing of the microphone threatening to start a similar ring in her ears. “It was supposed to be Cozy,” she hissed.
“Oh.”
Cozy sat atop of a dusty bookshelf, her shadow much bigger than what a small child should cast and outlined in a dark purple hue. “How long?” it asked her in a deep familiar voice.
“I hope soon. I’m soooo booooored,” she whispered back as she lay on the uncomfortable wooden shelves.
Right on cue, the huge, ornate wooden doors leading to this section of the library slammed shut with a heavy thud. Cozy and Sombra didn’t so much as breathe as a pony made their way past heavy doors that thudding as they quickly left.
“Phew,” Cozy sighed as she descended onto the floor. “Alright let's make this quick.”
“Agreed,” Sombra said as a swirl of black magic pulled him from Cozy’s shadow. He shook himself off and headed toward the walls, using his long black tendrils to feel over the coarse, dry, wooden walls. “Aha,” he stated as he felt over one particular spot. “There is a large divot there, which means that the secret bookshelf should be behind this case.”
His horn glowed a deep purple, as did his eyes as he flung every book off of that shelf, leaving only two attached to the secret lever. The bookshelf opened with a loud creak, and Sombra smiled smugly as he stepped through the passage.
“It’s just so easy to work with you, we barely even have to think about it,” Cozy laughed as she followed closely behind.
“Agreed, not like those buffoons. Why, if I didn't have to work with them to get what I wanted, they’d be dead by now.”
Cozy just laughed which made Sombra turn back to her, shock on his face. He would have asked her why, were it not for the huge blast as the side of the secret passage collapsed.
The old, dried-out wood lit instantly in huge green flames. In a matter of seconds, the flames spread over a fourth of the library. Sombra and Cozy knew that magic anywhere — Chrysalis. But there wasn’t much time; they had to cover their tracks and fast.
“I’ll get the spell; you get the rest,” Sombra said as he transformed into a shadow and slipped through the fallen beam.
“Don’t die!” Cozy yelled back as she ran towards the other two, using her wings to propel herself forward. Careful not to touch the flames, she slipped out of the hole. There, laying limp in the street was a pile of pale, cutie mark-less ponies, drained.
Cozy bit her lip, she knew she didn’t even have to look. It was those two bozos again, draining every creature that moved. “IDIOTS! Go, NOW! ” Cozy screamed, before pointing towards a nearby hill, taking care to not explicitly point to their hideout. The villains opened their mouths to protest, but Cozy cut them off. “Quick! Before the elements get here! I’ll leave with Sombra and the spell. NOW GO! ” Cozy exclaimed as the library’s flames illuminating her eyes.
With a small zap and a green glow, they disappeared, leaving utter pandemonium in their wake. A small zap, a green glow, and they were gone. Cozy sighed with relief before looking back at the burning building. “Come on we need that spell,” she whispered as she frowned her brows creasing. Her eyes scanned over every corner, fallen beam and lick of green flames.
"What are you doing?"
“Sombra!? How...I thought you might be trapped! You can't just leave me to parent those two idiots! I’m like, twelve!” Cozy huffed as she yelled at the wide-eyed dark stallion behind her.
“You saw me do it before, how could you be so-" Sombra stopped for a moment, his angry gaze softening as he looked at the stressed-out filly before him. "Cozy, I won't leave you with those too. It’s a fate worse than giving up to Twilight and her friends. Not let's go scream at, what did you call them, so totally losers .”
Cozy giggled. “Slang doesn't really suit you but I'm glad you don't sound old anymore. It was so hard to understand you! That sounds like a great idea! I know what just to say to them-” Cozy stopped mid-sentence, dazed and confused as Sombra picked her up the scruff on her neck and teleported them back to the cave they called home.
Cozy was going to protest but, before she could, they were back at the cave in a flash. He put her down and he trotted off to the depths of their cave.
“IDIOTS, WHAT WERE YOU BOTH THINKING?!”
Cozy quickly ate the rest of her ice cream, smiling as she followed Sombra's lead. "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? WAS IT WORTH IT?"
“Will they ever learn?” the deep gravelly voice of the narrator kicked up once more, talking over the bickering villains before that image faded out and into black and green smoke. “Next time on Infamy!”
“How did you get tricked by Discord again ?!” Chrysalis spat at Cozy Glow. She paced around an old dead tree trunk so furiously that her hooves dug into the ground. Lush green grass gave way to a muddy dirt circle.
“This is ALL YOUR FAULT !” Chrysalis yelled as she continued pacing.
“How was I supposed to know it was him? I thought he was YOU! He’s convincing !” Cozy screamed back out in defense as she crossed her hooves.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S CONVINCING?! ARE YOU AN IDIOT ?!”
“OH SCREW YOU !”
“REEEEEEEEEEEEE,” Chrysalis screamed as she activated her magic, shooting it at a nearby tree. That tree immediately exploded into thousands of bits as soon as the magic made even the briefest of contact.
Then the picture turned black one final time, green smoke flowing through as the narrator spoke. “Stay tuned to find out what happens next on Infamy.”
Author's Note
A small black box hovered in the corner, it read ‘NUMBER’ for only a few moments. A similar blue box popped up at the bottom. PrankNote Season 1 Episode 1. Genre, Drama, action, Thriller. Rainbow finds a notebook on the ground that can make any prank happen to any creature she desires.
Pranknote
Flashes of Rainbow Dash flickered across the screen.
Covered in a white cloth, Pinkie sat in what appeared to be some kind of pink shell. She offered a red frosted cupcake to Rainbow Dash, who was just about to sink her hooves into this decadent treat. Suddenly, the screen flashed and dissipated to reveal a half-eaten cupcake lying on a black book with white text. “PrankNote.”
Rainbow lay on a pure white cloud, staring blankly into the clear blue sky. She groaned as she tossed and turned on the cloud, her eyes wandering about aimlessly. Rainbow had already bucked every single cloud out of Ponyville, and even all the clouds around the neighboring towns.
Well, all except for this one particular cloud. It appeared to be the most comfortable one around to rest on, but yet, lying on it was no different from laying on the uneven ground.
She rolled over, hoping to find that perfect sleeping position. She really wanted to take a nap; after all, she had nothing better to do. She had already practiced for the Wonderbolts’ show several times, the classes she ran at the Wonderbolt HQ were well past over, her friends were busy and her prank partner Pinkie was out of town.
However, in spite of Rainbow’s best efforts, nothing she did could bring her sleep. A chunk of dense cloud jabbed into her side as she stared into the sea of multicolored roofs. Her heartbeat thudded in her ears, the only noise in miles making the whistling wind sound louder than Pinkie and her one pony band.
THUD!
Rainbow immediately jumped up at the sound as it echoed through her skull, scrambling over the side of the lone cloud.
A black book with white text rested innocently on the ground below her.
Desperate to relieve her aching boredom, Rainbow went for it, landing onto the hard ground with a thud, dust kicking up at her hooves. She looked over the vast rolling hills of lush, green grass for anycreature, swearing that she saw some creature’s shadow from the corner of her eye.
“HEY, YOUR BOOK!” she yelled out, as she peered around the corner.
Silence.
Rainbow turned to glance at the book once more, before trotting over towards it, her eyes glinting with the reflection of the title, 'Pranknote.' She lifted the book up with one of her hooves and ran the other one over the pale, white text.
Strange. She had never seen a book like it before.
She gleefully rubbed her forehooves together as she wondered what the book was all about. She hovered her hooves over it, but they stopped short of flipping the book open.
What if it was a journal? It would be so rude to read it; it would be an invasion of some creature’s privacy!
As she continued to stare into the book's intriguing cover, the more she felt her curiosity biting into her, feeding into her temptation to open the book. Every part of her begged for Rainbow to open it. After all, she could return it to whoever dropped it, and if it wasn’t a journal or anything she could definitely read it. If it was dangerous, or boring, well, she could just pass it to Twilight.
But of course, she couldn’t do any of that if she didn’t know what this book was about, or who it belonged to. She had to read it. Rainbow’s hooves traced the smooth cover. Just one look, she promised herself, and then she will do the responsible thing and return it.
She flipped the cover aside swiftly, allowing her eyes to scan through the very first page. It had charcoal black pages, with a few lines of white text. “Huh?” she frowned as she flipped through the seemingly endless sea of black pages. Her eyes danced over the white letters adorning the page before her.
Instructions I:
The creature whose name is written within this book shall be pranked.
It will not work unless the writer is thinking of the creature who will be pranked, so no being with the same name is affected by the book.
Once written, the victim will be pranked in the next 40 seconds.
After 40 seconds have passed and the details of the prank are ambiguous, they will simply trip on a banana.
Rainbow laughed out loud. No book could ever do such a thing and even if it could, it would most likely be locked away under the supervision of Twilight or somepony like that. Skipping over the many black pages of instructions, she pictured that tall purple alicorn in her head. “Twilight Sparkle,” she wrote on the very first blue line. She chuckled as she closed the book.
Whistling, she strolled down the cobbled road. The streets were packed with the many colorful creatures that now called Ponyville home. Buildings that were now several floors higher were spreading out past beyond what used to be the limits of the town.
Rainbow waved to a baby griffon that rushed by her, along with several foals. She chuckled to herself, as she remembered a more carefree time when she was in their hooves, playfully pushing through the crowd of adults in the town. Now she was one of those adults, but only way cooler and definitely much less annoying.
That tingling wave of nostalgia evaporated as she came to a stop at the Castle of Friendship. Pushing the crystal doors open, she entered the spacious atrium. She passed the rows of tall bookshelves that filled the place Twilight would probably still call home.
Rainbow strode up to the guards, two griffons, stationed in front of the basement stairwell. She presented a key shaped just like her cutie mark and passed it to one of the guards. She waited as the guard pushed it into the lock.
As soon as the lock clicked, the two guards moved out of the way, revealing a cavernous passageway. Rainbow crept in, descending into the chilly, winding stone staircase.
A giant purple portal hummed quietly at the bottom. Rainbow took a breath and stepped through it, the fur on her back tingling. She stumbled out the other side, a myriad of colors swirling around her as she collapsed down onto the ground immediately. No matter how many years went by, even the notion of teleportation still bothered her.
Slowly, she shuffled her way over to a large wooden table. Clinging the book underneath her wing, she crashed onto the soft, cushioned chairs.
“Ahhhhhhhhh...”
These chairs were so much better than the ones that came with the map. Those chairs were literally made of crystal and while its surfaces were nice and cool, they were hard to sit on.
She frowned, as she reached into Twilight's complimentary bowl of fruit. She missed doing that, as it kept her days busy. Unfortunately, her friends disagreed with her lackadaisical attitude as they all desired to move on to bigger and better things. It was a good thing, though; Rainbow now taught several Wonderbolt classes, camps, the weather team, and she ran the Headquarters. Spitfire had retired a year ago to become a full-time drill instructor. That didn’t mean that Rainbow wasn’t bored; she was still pretty fast and had managed to end up with a lot of time on her hooves.
Rummaging through the bowl, Rainbow found her hoof constantly rubbing against a bunch of thick-skinned bananas. In disbelief, she stared right into the bright red bowl to be greeted with a pile of yellow.
Her heart stopped.
How could the book do this? Twilight's bowl was usually more varied than just a huge stack of bananas. There was no way this could have happened; it was just a book!
She frowned, cold sweat dripping down her forehead as she gazed into the bowl.
“Rainbow!” Twilight yelled for the third time, finally jolting Rainbow out of her trance “Are you alright?”
“Huh?!” Rainbow glanced over to Twilight holding a banana peel.
Her eyes widened. She felt as though someone was tying an invisible rope around her chest tighter and tighter.
Everything went in slow motion as Twilight put the banana down onto the old oak table. A small pink, ethereal blur knocked it off immediately, conveniently placing it on the ground for Twilight to slip over it.
That was exactly what happened. Twilight turned, dropping her left forehoof directly onto it, and, just like that, she was sliding across the room.
“Oof!”
“Are you ok?” Rainbow exclaimed as she flew to her friend on the ground. She softly brought her hoof to Twilight's flowing dark mane.
“Don’t worry Rainbow, I'm fine. It'll take more than a banana to take me down.” Twilight laughed before taking another look into her friend’s concerned gaze. “Accidents happen Rainbow.”
Even though Rainbow had managed to force a smile, she could not stop the frantic pounding of her heart. “I gotta go!”
“But you just got here!”
“I forgot something!” Rainbow yelled as she leaped through the portal again. She leaned against the chilly cobblestone wall of the stairwell. She shook as she removed the book from her wings. It had worked, the book had worked! She quickly flipped to the black pages and read a few more pages.
Instructions II
This book is the property of this realm once touched by an inhabitant.
The present owner can hear, see and speak to the original owner, who is the god of pranks.
Anyone who touches the book can see the god of pranks.
Only one side effect is known to come from using the book, seeing pink blobs.
Instructions III
If the time of prank is written in 40 seconds after writing, the result is falling on a banana.
The time of the prank can be manipulated to whenever the prankster desires. Time goes into effect 40 seconds after writing the name.
If you desire to change what is written it must be within the next six minutes and 40 seconds. Cross out what you wrote with two straight lines.
Rainbow slammed the book shut and placed it on the ground. She leaned her head against the cool cobblestone wall, her head swimming in questions and anxiety. She tried to drag her mind away by focusing her thoughts elsewhere.
After a time, she took a furtive glance at the book. This was so much to take in at once. The book had not only worked but it seemed to make sure the prankee never got too hurt. So, if no creature got too hurt, was it wrong for her to use it?
Rainbow wouldn’t be using the book that often, just every once and while as a treat. Or perhaps when she got beyond bored and finished all her work. The book was hers now, even if the owner did show up. Just a few pranks here and there couldn’t hurt, right? Especially if she was extra careful about safety.
With that, Rainbow flew out of the stairwell and back home. She dragged her hooves through her home and slumped in front of her gaming station. Normally she would be all over it right now, but she just wanted to have more fun with this new toy.
Grabbing a dust-covered pen off of the nearby table, she brought it over to her page containing Twilight's name. Only ten names, she promised, and that's all she would write before she would stop and take a break.
“You seem to be having fun,” a recognizable deep voice uttered over Rainbow’s head.
“AH! DISCORD?!! What the heck?!?! You really scared me! Wait, what are you doing in my house?” Rainbow yelled at the chaos lord floating behind her.
“That’s my book Rainbow, but I guess it's yours now ‘till you croak.”
“Your book?”
“Yes, my book. So many names, more than I have ever seen written in one go,” Discord said as he tossed a cupcake into his mouth. Reading over the several pages of pranks Rainbow had written out, he continued. “And I have ‘dropped’ this book a few times.”
Rainbow looked down at the filled pages, at least three of them. She was having so much fun that she didn’t know she had written so much. She glanced at the door again, or how much time had passed by. “It’s just a one-time thing! I can control myself. It's a special occasion.”
“Right.”
“Plus a little fun every now and again is more than fine. Watch out world, I'll become the most responsible prankster ever!” Rainbow stated in triumph, fully confident in her self-control. "Just you watch I'll take a potato chip an eat it, I'll take my leftovers and reheat it, I'll take my rug out back and beat it."
Discord simply laughed as Rainbow jotted more names down into the book.
Solar Fury hummed in thought. What should they watch next? They first thought of watching Pone VS Wild; that show had Daring Do! They wouldn’t see themselves tuning into whatever that Chaos Dimension show was.
Hunting Humans? Perhaps not, the show could be right and humans could have unknown abilities. Like opinion out of the TV to eat ponies. Solar shuddered at the thought, it didn't help they accidently ended up on the last episode.
Not Shed, either. It was pretty boring. There wasn't too much drama or action, it was just a measly little toy, and was probably a show meant for kids or teens. Nah.
As for Infamy...Solar didn’t know how to feel about supporting a show full of bad creatures. Well yeah, the show was sanctioned by the Princess of Friendship, but it just looked like a desperate last-ditch effort by Princess Twilight to reform them. Perhaps they would start with the first episode and see how they felt about it.
But Pranknote...ah, now that’s interesting. Solar could picture it now; two glasses filled with white wine on a Sunday night with their beloved, curled up watching something packed with action and thrills. Solar grabbed their remote and turned off the tv.
Author's Note
I hope you liked it this was exhausting to write. I got an editor which was really different for me. What do you think? Intrested in any of the shows?
