Derpy Dates a Muffin

by Art Inspired

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Derpy Hooves
Length: 1019

Derpy starts dating the dessert she's just ordered.

It's a nice, sunny day, and Derpy's out on a date with the dessert she's just ordered. Derpy's into some pretty weird things.

Published 2020-11-01 13:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-01 13:50:02 UTC

Derpy Dates a Muffin

"And... what will you be having for dessert today?"

Derpy Hooves gently padded her lips with a soft, white cloth, and said with closed eyes, "I think... I'll have the chocolate chip muffin."

She opened her beautiful, googly eyes at her waiter, and he replied to her with a kind smile, "Ah... but, of course."

He trailed off, and Derpy waited patiently for his return. All of the tables around the blond pegasus were filled with couples that were talking, and dining. While Derpy took her time looking around to see this, she smiled, and peacefully listened to the lovely birds above her as they sung, and tweeted to the romantic music being played in the background from within the establishment.

Roses grew from the pots that hung from the patio ceiling, and even though Derpy of all ponies was alone, she smiled, and hummed along happily to the tune that she could just barely hear. She breathed in deeply, having thoroughly enjoyed her expertly prepared meal, and sighed as she thought longingly about her treat that was being made for her just through those fancy kitchen doors that weren't too far away from where she sat.

Derpy licked her lips a little bit as she considered whether or not she should unwrap the muffin first once it had arrived, and sooner than she had anticipated, her waiter came walking right up towards her. Nothing could've prepared Derpy for this moment. In his hoof, he carefully held onto a golden dish, and on top of it sat quite possibly the most magnificent, and alluring muffin Derpy had ever laid her eyes upon.

He sat it down, and waited for Derpy to say something, but when she didn't, he just bowed at her, and said, "Bon appétit!"

She didn't look away from the muffin at all as he left, but when hearing the closing doors, she jumped with a small gasp, and looked away with utter embarrassment. Her cheeks by now had began to blush, but to make matters worse, as Derpy looked around, she realized how jealous she was suddenly making all of the other couples.

Some of the steeds that were seated around Derpy suddenly had trouble trying not to make eye contact with her muffin. Derpy tried not to let this bother her too much, and looking back at the dessert, she said, "I hope... that I'm not coming on too strong, but..." She whispered into the Muffin's left chip, "You look absolutely stunning this evening."

Leaning away, and looking back up with a nervous smirk, she saw the waiter watching her through the doors, and as he nodded to her, he walked away with a pleased smile. Derpy gulped, and realized how dry her mouth had become, and after taking a quick sip, she cleared her throat, and said, "You know... I don't normally go on dates with my food, but... Th-that is to say, i-if you think it could work between the two of us... I'd be... willing to...

Her eyes dilated, and her ears perked as she heard the muffin's kind words within her head that seemingly only she could hear.

She gasped, her hoof coming up to her muzzle. "Muffin," she exclaimed with a surprised look on her face. "You shouldn't say such things in public... After all, we've only just met."

Other onlookers watched, and listened to what was happening at the restaurant. At least one pony, however, was more preoccupied with smelling Derpy's dessert from a distance instead. Fluttering her eyelids romantically, Derpy started to flirt back with the muffin, too, saying, "Well, I've never met another muffin that's so... err, so... yummy looking."

She heard at least two or three stallions nearby gasp, and huff after hearing that.

"Y'know," Derpy then suggested. "Why don't we go somewhere else?" She bit her lips with anticipation. "Perhaps somewhere more... romantic?"

As they got up after Derpy paid her bill, Derpy lightly held onto her muffin with a napkin. Several steeds watched as they went, and at least one of the mares had to clear her throat, and gave Derpy and her muffin a look of jealousy before Derpy left, headed down the street.

With the sun brightly shining above Ponyville that day, Derpy walked merrily with her muffin through the park. Approaching a nearby public grand gazebo, she trotted up the spacious stairs, and took great care not to drop any crumbs. "We're here," she said as she came up to the edge overlooking all of the trees. Using the flat railing, she shyly placed the muffin down atop the napkin, and although there were still quite a few ponies there that day, it didn't bother the two of them. Derpy was in heaven so long as she was with her sweet dessert.

She came closer to the muffin's side to ask it, "Do you... think this is... really going to work? I mean... I'm a pony, and you?" She sighed with a lovely tone in her voice, and then said, "You're a muffin..."

It fell quiet around the two after she had openly said that, and in doing so, she had gained quite the audience.

"Do you really mean that?" She asked. It was silent yet again, and as Derpy's cheeks began to flush, all the other ponies just watched from afar, entranced by the tender scene. "You can't mean that," Derpy said nervously. "We... barely know each other!" Her hooves rose up to her quivering lips, and as tears began to form in her eyes, she said to the muffin, "Y-yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you!"

Everypony surrounding Derpy and her muffin all gasped with shock, and excitement for the couple. Derpy began to shed even more tears of happiness, and joy. She couldn't help but to feel like the luckiest mare in the universe. As she nodded her head with acceptance, everything seemed fantastic in the world.

Suddenly, a crow flew by the gazebo, snatching Derpy's muffin right up from where it sat, leaving only the napkin for Derpy to remember it by.