Three Spoopy Stories

I smiled as you feel warmer now that I told you a few stories.

"Okay, this story is about the Top Hatter." I said clearing throat getting ready to read.

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My name is Peter, Peter Jones, I had a long day at work, I work at a restaurant in Canterlot from 6 AM to 12 PM. I was hungry so I decided to go for my cold, sweet, delicious, scrumptious chocolate cake. I opened the refrigerator door and... It wasn't there, I closed it, I must be seeing things must be. I opened it again, the chocolate cake wasn't there just a plate with chocolate crumbs. Now there is only one pony that I know who would do this.

"Celestia..." I growled clenching my fists, "I'm gonna kill her." I walked towards my dresser and got out a Tophat, a black robe, and an Obito mask, I wasted no time in my revenge, I wrote a letter and sent it to Celestia, got some cloth and chloroform, I'm gonna kidnap this bitch.

Meanwhile...

I was in my room sipping my tea and looking out on the moonlight. A guard came into my room, I looked at the guard.

"I'm sorry princess for the intrusion but the human, Peter wants you to meet you at the edge of Canterlot." The guard said with a slight stutter.

"Very well, tell him I'll be there." She sat up, it's not like she doesn't have anything better to do.

Back to me

She was in the spot I told her to meet me up at, she looked around trying to spot me, there was a rope around my waist so I dropped down, slowly and used chloroform on her ass. She fell down like a sack of potatoes, and speaking of sacks, I had a big brown one that I made sure to fit her.

"Holy shit it worked..." My face of disbelief quickly turned into one of mischief as I put her in the sack, it was a struggle but I did it. After dragging her to my house, putting some weird magic nullifyer on her horn and tied her up, I was ready for my act. I clapped my hands together two times and lights turned on, she groaned and found a sock in her mouth.

"Well, well, well, Celestia! Didn't expect to kidnap you today! Well, before we get to the fun part let's do this first!" I clap my hands and some funky music plays and I suddenly have a gold chain around my neck.

"Now Celestia you may be adorable
But making citizens do your job is horrible!
You ask yourself 'Why am I here?" But to me that question is rhetorical!

Yeah you may think it's fun
To be number one
But your care for ponies around you is none
Because after what you did I'm 100% done!

Now let's take a look at your sister
Do you even care about her?
You certainly don't because she feels like you betrayed her!

Now let's look at your nephew
Or when Chrysalis bested you
Did you even see her lies?
Did you even see through her disguise?!

No you didn't because you're blind
Sure Twilight may be kind
That may be the best thing that came from your life!

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Now your little heroes
Are just little zeroes
Ponies think your a goddess
But in reality you're just a novice!

And what about the human?
Did you even care then?
The one who is nice
You probably think of him as nice!

Discord the spirit of disharmony
Why didn't you break him when you had the chance
Would that be a better plan?
Oh wait you wouldn't because you ain't a man!

Celestia just give up
You just an average schmuck
Friends or none
You think that you're the only one

Even though that's not the case
Eventually if you hide something too much it will blow up in your face!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, oh, oh!

Yeah!"

I finished my diss track and Celestia's face was in awe, I put the sock of her mouth.

"Who are you?" She asked, I clenched my fist.

"The one who's angry about you stealing his chocolate cake!" I slammed my tophat down and my mask.

"Oh... Well buck."

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The storm was done, and it was now November.

"Well then, goodnight you have been a wonderful audience. Goodnight to all and to all a good fright!"

The Top Hatter