I did, like, one draft of this a month ago.
Colgate wrinkled her nose, holding her breath as she poked around inside the Ursa Minor's mouth, averting her eyes from it's dark throat and wondering why these types of things always happened to her.
She hadn't wanted much; around two hours earlier, she had trekked into the Everfree forest to find Zecora, wanting nothing more than a simple change of Cutie Marks; an hourglass made no sense on her. Dentistry was her passion, her talent, and her future job if tomorrow's interview went right. A nice baby blue toothbrush like the one she had carried into the cave would have served her perfectly well; simple, obvious, and reliable.
The shut-in Zebra had revealed to her the potion that would solve her problem; all she would need was the wisdom tooth of the Ursa living in these caves, and after trekking through the woods with nothing but a magically enlarged toothbrush for hours on end, winding through the labyrinthian tunnels of the Ursa's cave, and besting the oversized bear with the same toothbrush;
She felt rather entitled to that potion at this point.
Making it all the more crushing when, even after leaning in as far into the unconscious beast's open jaws as she could, grappling against rotten meat stench and a humidity that could fuel a small sauna, she finally realized that the Ursa Minor didn't have any wisdom teeth.
She snorted in frustration, quickly pulling herself out of the massive maw, nearly toppling off the chin in her rush. She sat there for a moment, idly stroking the translucent fur and considering her options; she trusted Zecora to not lie to her, that was a fact. She knew what she was doing, but she wasn't clairvoyant; Colgate supposed she could return, explain what had happened, and plan out a new approach. There had to be another way. She had gone on for far too long for there to not be a way. Unless...
Another thought struck her suddenly, looking up at the cave walls. They were awfully high, very nearly stretching out of view, and she had only reached here after being chased deeper into the caves by the Ursa Minor...
She wiped perspiration off her forehead, suddenly feeling much hotter as she strained to remember the first time she had seen the Ursa. Trixie had claimed she could fight Ursas, but she was corrected after her bluff was called and Twilight had to lure it back to it's cave... She had corrected her because... Because...
Because it was a Minor, not a Major. Colgate suddenly realized that the heat wasn't just stress. Something was breathing down her neck; something massive, with a breath that could reach her even an Ursa Minor's length away...
Colgate's entire body quivered, hair standing up, as she bit her lip and slowly turned around behind her. A gargantuan purple bear, tall enough for its head to brush the ceiling if it stood upright, leaned a nose larger than her closer, until she could practically reach out and touch it. It bared it's dripping fangs, yellow eyes glinting with rage at the tiny creature hunched over her unconscious child with a toothbrush.
"Hello." Colgate meekly blurted out.
The Ursa roared. For a second that lasted centuries, she stared down it's cavernous gullet, and then the set of teeth snapped shut around her, swiping her up without a second thought.
Suddenly, the Ursa Minor's breath was remembered fondly. Colgate was tossed into darkness, barely avoiding being torn open by yellowed fangs only to be slathered in saliva, shoved from cheek to cheek by the Ursa's tongue. She quickly lost her sense of direction, coughing and sputtering and wrenching her eyes shut as she was carelessly tasted. She swung her forehooves out unthinkingly, desperately trying to grab onto anything that could help her catch her bearings, and quickly hit something hard; light flooded in as the Ursa opened their jaws to bellow in pain, revealing the sweet spot she had miraculously grabbed in her blind faith; a jagged, cavitied fang growing sideways back towards the throat. Colgate wrapped herself around it, struggling to hold on tight as the tongue began attacking her again, wetly slapping against her back and ruining her coat as she tried to get leverage, tried to pull, tried with all her might to wrench the tooth out of its socket, only making the beast angrier as it shook its head about wildly.
A drop of saliva landed on Colgate's leg, slipping it off, just long enough for the tongue to finally wrap under her belly, pulling furiously. The unicorn quickly lost her grasp on the slick tooth, eyes widening as her situation sunk in for the moment. In that moment, the only thought that passed through her mind was how she failed, and as soon as it registered she was thrown down into the long esophagus.
Colgate shut her eyes tightly, both to avoid looking down at her fate and to hold back her tears. The tunnel wasn't at all like the slide she had imagined; the walls rubbed and compressed her disgustingly as she was pushed down, inch by agonizing inch. She barely cared at that point- despair was crushing down on her harder than the fleshy walls ever could, each push and press reminding her of her uselessness.
She had no way of telling the time, but she estimated she had spent a solid minute traveling through the tight throat alone before finally pressing against another sphincter, pushed against it until her horn finally broke through it, the rest of her body not far behind. She was dropped into a much larger chamber, humid and rank.
Her eyes began adjusting, but she refused to let them, burying her face in her forelegs instead. She would rather stew in her failure, knowing death wasn't far behind, then look up and face her end. So, she sat in the Ursa's stomach, nose burning, fur tingling, and scalp sweating as she bitterly waited for her end to come, alone and uncaring.
---*---
Someone was outside- speaking ponish, plain as day. And judging from how her prison stayed immobile, she doubted it was having much trouble with her monster domicile. She forced her eyes open, feeling the wall beside her and crawling along it's length, trying to get as close to the voice as she could. She finally settled, beating her hooves weakly on the rubbery walls and craning her ears forward to listen, barely making out legible words-
"What have you done, my carnivorous friend? That pony was to bring your woes an end!"
Colgate's heart fluttered, and she felt a rejuvenating second wind lift her head up, mustering her vocal cords to their max.
"ZECORA! ZECORA, I'M IN HERE!"
Hoovesteps quickly approached, and the zebra outside barked an order coldly at the Ursa like an Alpha to it's pack.
"Do remain immobile, I would advise. To upturn your innards would not be wise. Colgate, have potion concerns become least? Is that you in the belly of the beast?"
Against all odds, Colgate found herself laughing, beyond delirious in the heat and smell.
"Nope, I decided to crawl down here for funsies. Figured a jacuzzi would be a nice celebration for finding that tooth."
"Apologies, jest was not my intent. It seems a mistake was made by my friend. This test we'll abort, for it now seems petty; I regret your exit will not be pretty."
Colgate finally turned to the rest of the stomach, taking it in for the first time as she struggled to think. The belly was about the size of a small house, filled with piles of mush and half digested meat. A thin lake of acids rested at the bottom, replenished every so often by single drops falling from the ceiling. The smell seemed to be every morning breath rolled into one, from coffee to gemstones to recently deceased corpses, although Colgate reckoned the latter made up the bulk down here. Walls trembled and vibrated slightly, gently nudged around by the movement of gargantuan organs shoving against the walls, more frequent as the sack became thinner further up, finally tightening into a throat sphincter several yards above Colgate, even if she were to stand up. She groaned as Zecora's words sunk in; if she wanted to leave, she could only go down. But then again...
"Zecora... I don't care about leaving. I've already lost. I'm hot and wet and tired, and all I want to do is curl up here and die. Just leave, please."
She curled up into a ball again, pressing her muzzle against her forehooves. There was a pause outside, before Zecora spoke up again, softer and gentler.
"Friend, I regret that you must understand; No way of mark changing lives in this land. The lie that I told to you wasn't right, but I needed to give you a reason to fight."
Colgate chuckled again. "Of course this was all for nothing. Of course I'm going to go out meaninglessly. Of course my simple ask of a mark that fits me is too much to ask of the universe."
"Ah, but don't yet make a claim so bold; my reason for sending you was twofold. For one, my Ursa friend was in great pain; her wisdom tooth ached, and needed a change. She would be cured, if not for her sweet tooth;"
Colgate flinched, feeling the harsh glare even through the wall of flesh. A low whimper emitted from above her.
"And we shall discuss this later, forsooth. For two, you needed an out of this funk; your poor pony skull was filled up with junk."
"Oh yeah? And what's wrong with me?"
"Your problem is of crusading, my dear; you judge your self worth by the mark on your rear! Your specialty's dentistry, plain as day; no symbol could ever take that away. You've fallen down low, you must return high. Now come, you fool, this is no place to die!"
"Zecora, I needed dentistry to save me, and look where that got me."
A loud stamp on the ground sounded outside.
"Are you out of your mind, you crazy bat? You were inside a maw, to be crushed flat!"
Colgate rested her head against the stomach walls, breathing in the acidic air. The more we listened, the more obvious Zecora's words felt, and the more convinced she became that self hatred made you a goddamn moron. Her brain had completely blipped over the part where she fought through a forest of monsters with a toothbrush, and had instead chosen to focus on her failure while inside a giant toothy mouth trying to screw up her body's ability to differentiate between internal and external bleeding by slicing through said body. She moaned, covering her eyes, before shaking her head and shakily getting to her hooves in the acidic ocean, finding herself with vigour renewed.
"Alright... What do I need to do?"
"My dear Ursa friend will lay on her side; what I need you to do is trot towards the light. I believe in you, dear. This is your path. And when you get out, please go take a bath."
The beast seemed to pick up on her cue, and Colgate screamed, gripping onto the slick floor as it suddenly became the wall. The entire stomach and all of its contents shifted, pouring waves of bile and rotting food past her as she slid down the shifting flesh. Finally her ride came to a stop, leaving her rear thoroughly drenched as she sat in the new lake, nipping at her uncomfortably the longer she spent in it. When she was done ewwing, she noticed the smaller tunnel before her, leading to what she hoped was the throat sphincter.
Close trotted towards it, first standing straight, only to crouch lower and lower as the stomach thinned out, finally forcing her into a small pulsating cubby, with a finger starfish of meat disgustingly winking at her. She had to stop to gag, trying not to throw up at the sensations and stench.
"This... Might be a bit uncomfortable for you, and I apologize. Please don't kill me when I come out."
The Ursa whimpered outside, surprising her. The sudden genuine emotion from what she had previously seen as a mindless monster oddly calmed her, and she forced herself to look back at the ring.
It became clear from the moment she pushed her hoof in that it wanted her to stay put. Even with only one limb in it was tight and rigid, and she had to struggle to keep it from getting immediately pushed out again by peristalsis. Seeing that it was now or never, she took a deep breath, and forced her horn in. The tunnel around her quivered as the blockage became larger, and she clenched her eyes and mouth shut as she pushed further in.
Once her head was inside, the pulsations only intensified, and the distinct sound of a cat throwing up filled her ears. The walls crushed around her, trying their hardest to keep her down. She hoped that once she got further in it would start trying to do the opposite, but it was hard to concentrate when she was being pushed and shoved by all sides, and her air was quickly running out.
Dark spots danced across her vision and she felt her heart beat faster, forcing herself to breathe. She tried closing her eyes, but it barely helped; it was already pitch black inside, and her other senses were overloaded.
Her hindlegs finally wiggled through, and she pushed her forelegs against the walls, clumsily lifting herself forwards. She could feel the impact she was having on the poor creature, and it pushed her onwards, desperately trying to help the Ursa from choking on it's meal.
Thankfully, as she went on, the job did get easier; peristalsis made the decision that it would rid itself of the nuisance if it pushed in the direction it was trying to go, and she began to get pushed forwards, the walls loosening to let her pass, before finally impacting with another starfish. This one opened immediately, squeezing her through and onto a soft plush tongue she was more than happy to take over the digestive broth below. A crack of light drifted in through yellowing stalagmites and stalactites she recognized as teeth, each one the size of her. Cave walls flashed by outside as her new cave rose into the air, and Colgate felt thick liquid pooling around her. It quickly rose to her chin, and as she tried to cry out-
The Ursa uncerimoniously spat her out. She skidded across the cave floors, stickey and smelling like the wet corpses of animals, but undeniably alive, and with the newfound confidence of a princess.
"Still, ewwwwww." Colgate couldn't help but whine as she stumbled to her hooves.
Golden eyes opened before her, and she paled peering into them, and the creature they belonged to... Happily grinning its fangs and wagging its tail, alongside the smaller Minor.
Colgate shakily approached the Major, reaching out to uneasily pat its nose. As she did, Zecora approached behind her, chuckling at her gentleness with the bear who she had spent the last hour boiling inside of.
"So you're... Friends with these guys?" Colgate asked skeptically.
Zecora nodded warmly. "Long have I heard the Ursa's cries! There wailing echoed to the skies! A toothache causing so much ill, to heal it was beyond my skill! But you, dear Colgate, saved the day! You drove all their tooth pain away! And so you proved, without a doubt, what your true talent's all about!"
The zebra approached her as she weaved her verses, placing a hoof on Colgate's chin and tilting it up to look at her.
"The point that I am trying to make; forget your flank, for goodness' sake! Whatever your cutie mark may be, your take lies in dentistry!"
Colgate felt drunkenly giddy. The cave spun around, and her cares seemed to wash away. It was obvious, really. Self doubt really did make you an idiot.
It was the most mundane and pointless thing ever, but she had to hear it from herself.
"I'm a dentist."
Author's Note
Honestly, I kinda get if you dislike bomb this one.
