Flufflepuff and Rainbow Dash: Detectives Extrordinaire

by Final Cut

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 4091

Flufflepuff and Rainbow Dash team up to find out who put pictures of Rainbow on the ponynet

[To be added]

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-08 08:57:42 UTC

Pictures

Clues:

brief exchange between  Thunderlane and Flufflepuff, make sure it doesn’t sound too suspicious.

Try to make it more clear that Flufflepuff and Rainbow have drifted apart. Maybe actually tell the story of RD defendinf Fluffles from fillyhood near beginning, and then bring up them drifting apart casually.

Red Herring: Something implicating Snowflake at his house to make that scene more interesting

It'd been a hard and tiriing day for Rainbow Dash. After a long morning of creating a long overdue thunderstorm and an even longer afternoon of clearing it up, the pesagus pony had a singular vision in her mind, of her favorite cumulus chair and herself relaxing in it.

After she kicked the last cloud out of the sky, she turned an began the short journey back to her floating abode. On her way she looked around the now clear sky and saw the setting sun. That late already? Won't even have time to practice my tricks for the Wonderbolts. As she flew she noticed a large pink ball of something on the ground. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be her good friend Flufflepuff.

"Hey Fluffles," Rainbow greeted her friend. "Almost didn't recognize you under all that fur." Flufflepuff laughed at this.

"Dash, you recognize me by the fur," she pointed out. "If I woke up one day without it I doubt anypony would be able to tell who I was." They both broke out in giggles, and Dash landed so she could continue the conversation at Flufflepuff's level.

"You could kill someone and then just get a manecut! It's the perfect crime!" Their giggles quickly grew into raucous laughter, and they walked together until they reached the area below Rainbow Dash's house. "Alright, well I'll see you around Fluffles."

"Not if I see you first Dash." With that Rainbow flew up to her home, leaving Flufflepuff to continue on whatever business she was on.

Inside her home, Rainbow Dash was settling into her favorite chair and relaxing. Oh that feels good. She eyed the computer in the corner of theroom. Haven't done anything with that in a while, let's see if I can kill some time. After some time screwing around on the My Little Human message boards, an idea struck her. Hey, I'm a pretty awesome pony. I bet ponies have written some pretty cool stuff about me.

With that idea in her mind she id a quick internet search for her name. Let's see what we have there. Ponies save Equestria from eternal night, I was pretty awesome there. Pony saves wonderbolts, fellow contestant and wins best young flier competition. Aww, they didn't mention the sonic rainboom. Dash's train of thought came to an abrupt halt when she saw the next result. It read "RAINBOW DASH SEXY XXX PICS FREE". Her jaw dropped for a moment before she composed herself.

Outside, Flufflepuff was making her way home when she heard a string of obscenities coming from the direction of Rainbow's cloud house. She sighed. This can only be a good thing. She returned to the area below her friend's residence and yelled loudly.

"HEY RAINBOW," she said loudly. "ARE YOU OKAY, I HEARD YOU SWEARING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE." For a few minutes she could hear nothing, save for the ambient background noise. She was about to leave when the prismatic maned pony flew down to talk to her, When Rainbow got closer Flufflepuff could see she was almost in tears. "Whoa. Are you okay Rainbow?"

"No." Rainbow Dash was must quieter then she normally was. Something was definitely wrong.

"Care to tell me what's wrong?" Rainbow just sniffled in response. "Hey, if you won't tell me I can't help you." Rainbow looked her in the eye.

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

"Of course, I'd never tell anypony something my friend didn't want me to." Rainbow was quiet for a while again, trying to figure out how to put what she was about to say.

"I found some.... pictures of me online," she muttered.

"Well I'm sure you can find pictures of anypony online." Rainbow Dash had to stop herself from facehoofing.

"Not normal pictures Flufflepuff." She paused, once again trying to find the right words. "Adult pictures." Flufflepuff's expression changed from one of confusion to one of shock.

"WHAT? But, but how? You'd never do something like that!"

"You think? Somepony was spying on me!" Rainbow had moved from being ashamed to being flat out furious. "If I find the pony that did this I'll-"

"When," Flufflepuff interrupted. "When WE find that pony, I'll make them feel sorry they ever even thought of you that way and you'll get to do whatever you want.

"You mean you'll help me?" Rainbow asked.

"Of course I will. I remember when we were just fillies, and you'd stand up for me when the other foals would make me feel bad about my fur problems."

"You still remember that?"

"Of course I do, how could I forget?" Flufflepuff inquired. "Now somepony is making you feel bad and I think it's time I returned the favor." She looked up at the sky. "Well, tomorrow actually. I think we could both use a good nights sleep." The shock had made Rainbow forget how tired she was, but now she could feel the weight on her wings and the pain in her legs from a hard day's work.

"You may be right. Meet here again tomorrow?"

"I'll be here around noon." With that they went their separate ways again. Tomorrow would be a very busy day.

Rainbow Dash woke up around noon, for a moment feeling well-rested and content before a thought entered a mind. How many ponies have seen this. It's on the first page of results for my name. How many ponies know about this and didn't tell me. All of a sudden Rainbow felt sad again. How many ponies who she though were her friends had seen this and not told her? Her thoughts were interrupted by Flufflepuff calling to her from the ground.

"HEY RAINBOW, YOU UP YET?" Flufflepuff yelled gladly. "I THINK I HAVE SOME IDEAS ON WHO MIGHT OF TAKEN THOSE PHOTOS." Rainbow Dash quickly flew down.

"Not so loud Fluffles, the entire town doesn't need to know."

"Sorry, Rainbow, just got excited. I was thinking about how to figure out who took those photos."

"And what's you come up with?"

"Well, first of all it has to be a pegasus."

"Why does it have to be a-" Flufflepuff just gestured to the floating house. "Oh right. Carry on."

"That's actually all I came up with. It could be any pegasus with a camera really." Flufflepuff shrugged. "I really don't know where to go from there."

"We find out who has cameras and ask them if they know anything."

"But how do we find out who has cameras?" Rainbow actually laughed a bit at this.

"That's the fun part."

Flufflepuff and Rainbow Dash soon found themselves in front of the only store in Ponyville that sold cameras, Picture Perfect. It was in a small one story building decorated with pictures of cameras and signs advertising sales. They went inside to speak to the owner, one Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash stared at her.

"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing running a camera store?" Pinkie took a deep breath and began to speak very quickly.

"Well you see Rarity needed a special gem for one of her dresses, and the only one I could find for her was in this dragon's hoard. Now the dragon didn't want to give me the gem because he loved how sparkly it was but he said I could have it if I could find him something more sparkly. The only things that sparkly in Ponyville are the crystal that Octavia uses on Special occasions, and she said I could have some if I got a photo of her and Vinyl together, but nowhere in Ponyville sold cameras so I decided to open a shop, and running it was so much fun that I do it as a hobby now." Rainbow Dash just stared blankly as Pinkie smiled. Flufflepuff was the first to recover from Pinkie's tirade.

"So could we please see a customer record of who has bought cameras here?"

"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie went into the backroom and soon returned with a slip of paper with a few names on it. "These are all the ponies that have bought camera's here. I only have really simple ones on hand, not much of a market for anything more complicated than delay shots, and even those I have to get on special order." There were quite a few names on the list, each written in surprisingly neat handwriting, .but only 3 belonged to pegasi. Flufflepuff read it aloud.

"Alright, the only pegasi on here are Thunderlane, Snowflake, and... Fluttershy? Huh, guess she takes photos of the animals or something. So Dash, what do you want to do-" Rainbow interrupted her with an unnecessarily loud yell.

"TO THUNDERLANE'S HOUSE!" With that Rainbow started flying away, leaving Flufflepuff to run after her.

"Alright, thanks for the help Pinkie." With that she ran off to catch up with her friend.

Flufflepuff soon found herself inside Thunderlane's house, watching Rainbow ask him a few questions.

"WHAT'D YOU BUY THE CAMERA FOR THUNDERLANE?" Rainbow slammed her hoof on the table. Perhaps "interrogate" was a more accurate term.

"Why do you need to know so badly?" Thunderlane asked. "It's just a camera."

"Thunderlane, either you tell me why you need a camera or I'll have to stop asking so nicely."

"What about this is asking-" He was interrupted by a slap to the face. Flufflepuff spoke up from the corner of the room.

"I'd just tell her. When she gets like this I really can't do much to calm her down." Thunderlane looked scared.

"Alright, just calm down. I just use it for bird watching." Rainbow picked him up with surprising ease.

"That's bullshit and you know it. TELL ME!"

"I- I swear I'm telling you the truth Dash." Rainbow threw him into a bookshelf, causing some of it's contents to spill onto the floor. Flufflepuff picked up one of the books.

"Hey this is a photo album." She opened it up. "Uh, Rainbow. We're done here. I figured out what he was using the camera for." She tossed Dash the book, and she looked inside before bursting into laughter.

"Alright Thunderlane, sorry to bother you. By the way, the red one really suits you." She burst out laughing again as she dropped the book to the floor. It fell open to reveal several pictures of Thunderlane in dresses. In each one he posed very elaborately, and was clearly his best to look good for the camera Rainbow's laughter could still be heard as she walked away from the house. Thunderlane picked up the book.

"She's right. The red one does suit me."

"So, where to next?" Flufflepuff asked. "Thunderlane is a dead end so would you rather go to Fluttershy's or Snowflake's?"

"Do you honestly think Fluttershy could've had anything to do with this?"

"I've seen weirder things."

"Like what?" Flufflepuff just gestured to her fur in response. "Fair enough."

Soon they found themselves at Snowflake's house, staring at his door. It was a fairly small home for the size of the pony is housed, but it seemed functional. Both of the ponies at the door knew they had to knock, yet they both just stood there.

"How are we even going to get him to tell us anything?" Rainbow asked. "It's not like I can throw him around like I did with Thunderlane."

"Well Dash, it's very simple," Flufflepuff explained. "We ask him."

"But he's huge and-" She stopped. Flufflepuff was already knocking on the door. A few seconds later the large muscular pony known as Snowflake was at the door.

"Anything I can do for you?" He said in a gruff voice.

"I know this might seem odd, but could you tell us what you use your camera for?" Flufflepuff asked correctly.

"One moment." He closed the door. Rainbow Dash turned to her friend.

"Are you sure this will work?" Dash asked.

"Why wouldn't it?" Flufflepuff responded.

"I just didn't think it;s be this easy." At this point Snowflake returned with a photo album similar to the one in Thunderlane's home, except this one was filled with landscape photos.

"It's just a hobby of mine.," Snowflake explained. "Anything else?"

"No, that'll be fine. Thank you!" Flufflepuff replied. With that Rainbow Dash and Flufflepuff went to their final destiantion, Fluttershy's cottage.

"I still don't know why we bothered coming here."

Rainbow and Flufflepuff had just arrived at Fluttershy's house, after having a long debate along the way about whether going there was even necessary. Flufflepuff was adamant that they shouldn't rule out anyone no matter who they are, while Rainbow was more inclined to believe that the entire visit was a waste of time since Fluttershy would never think of such a thing, and Dash was quite vocal with her objections.

"For the thousandth time, we're here because there's pictures of you on the internet and simple process of elimination seems to show that your friend has betrayed your trust by taking said pictures and putting them on the internet. Do you want the pictures taken down or not?" Flufflepuff had clearly lost patience with the situation.

"Of course I want them taken down, as soon a possible. that's why I don't want us wasting our time here." Rainbow was adamant.

"Fine, you go on to our next lead and I'll do this on my own."

"We don't even have a next lead!"

"Exactly! Now are you coming in or not?"

"No, I refuse to believe my friend had anything to do with this. If you want to interrogate an innocent mare you can do it yourself."

"Alright, I will." With that Flufflepuff turned and walked inside.

Rainbow Dash couldn't see what was happening inside, but she heard bits and pieces, loud crashes and Flufflepuff yelling something she couldn't make out. Soon her friend returned.

"We have a next lead. Also, Fluttershy has a really nice camera", Fluffepuff remarked.

"What the hay did you even just do in there? There were all these crashes and yelling and-"

"Don't mess with the the puff Dashie," Flufflepuff interrupted. "I think I know who our culprit is."

Soon all of the suspects had been gathered by Flufflepuff at Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie was tending the counter. It was closed, but Pinkie had let them in because "I refuse to ruin a good culprit reveal scene by making you leave." No one really knew what she meant, but nonetheless Flufflepuff and Rainbow were thankful for it. The other ponies however, had more varying opinions.

“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?” Thunderlane yelled through sobs. He’d been somewhat harder to get to come than the others. Fluttershy had come as soon as she was asked so she wouldn’t cause a fuss, and Snowflake came easily as well. Thunderlane, on the other hand was more… reluctant. “YOU ALREADY BURST INTO MY HOUSE AND BEAT ME! WHY DID YOU DO IT AGAIN?”

“Because you wouldn’t come peacefully, “Flufflepuff explained calmly, “And I’m just about sick of this wild goose chase of an investigation.  So you are going to stay here while we finish this…” She gestured to a pile of rope in the corner. “Whether you like it or not.” Thunderlane gulped.

“Alright, let’s just get this over with,” he sighed. Snowflake and Fluttershy simply sat and listen, while Rainbow watched from a darkened corner. Pinkie Pie was wiping down the counter in silence.

“I’ve gathered you all here to reveal the identity of the culprit in this crime,” Flufflepuff began.

“The crime of putting pictures of Dash on the internet?” Thunderlane cut in.

“There’s no need to remind people,” Rainbow pointed out. Good, now I don’t have to explain it to them.

“Yes, Ms. Flufflepuff already explained to us when she got us, so could we please continue?”

“Thank you Snowflake,” Flufflepuff said. “Good to see some of us are interested in getting this over with. As I was saying, I believe through my investigating I’ve developed a theory that will lead us to the perpetrator of this crime. It all starts with Thunderlane’s crossdressing  “

“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL ANYONE! YOU MOTHERBUCKING LIAR! I’M LEAVING!” Thunderlane turned to leave, but was stopped by Rainbow and Pinkie at the door. A few minutes later he was tied to a chair and gagged.

“Wow. That escalated quickly,” marvelled Snowflake.

“Anyone else want to try to ruin the big dramatic reveal scene?” Pinkie was speaking while tightening Thunderlane’s ropes. Everypony shook their heads collectively. “Good. Now continue.”

“Thank you Pinkie,” Flufflepuff sighed. “Now that we’re finally on track, I have a question for Thunderlane  ”

“HMM! MM! HMM!”

“Although I’m sure Pinkie can answer just as well. How fancy are the cameras you sell?”

“Mostly simple, I didn’t think there’d be much of a market for the fancy stuff here, so no special features.”

“That’s exactly what I thought when I saw Thunderlane’s camera,” Flufflepuff explained. “ No special features, no fancy lenses, no picture delay. And you were posing in every one of those shots Thunderlane. So in order to take them, you needed a second pony. And since you didn’t want anyone to know about your special habit,” Flufflepuff continued while ignoring the angry stares from Thunderlane, “Logic dictates that you’d tell the only other pony who knew about your habit, the pony you got the dresses from.” Rainbow cut in.

“You mean Rarity had something to do with this? How can you possibly know this?” Rainbow was clearly doubting of the things Flufflepuff came up with.

“I know because Fluttershy told me that Rarity came to borrow her camera. Said she needed a nicer one than the one she had for a photo shoot.”

“Fluttershy does have a nice camera,” Pinkie Pie cut in. “I had to get it on special order since I didn’t sell ones that nice.”

“Yes she does, in fact it was so nice that Rarity decided to share a few of the photos in return.” Thunderlane was giving angry looks to Fluttershy too now. “Found them in one of Fluttershy’s albums.” Thunderlane managed to spit out his gag at this point.

“WHAT THE HAY DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH RAINBOW DASH? WHY IS THIS ALL ABOUT ME?”

“Because you took the damn photos!” Flufflepuff was yelling now. “Why are you even still keeping up this act? Everypony knows, you can’t be blackmailed anymore.”

“I’m keeping it up because last time I did something against you I GOT TIED TO A BUCKING CHAIR.”

“Um… could someone please explain what’s going on?” Fluttershy was speaking for the first time since she got there.

“I’m rather confused as well, why was Thunderlane getting blackmailed?” Snowflake was flustered as well. In fact everypony except for Thunderlane and Flufflepuff now had very confused looks. Even the nearly impossible to surprise Pinkie seemed dumbfounded.

“Look, here’s how the rest of the story goes,” Flufflepuff explained, exasperated. “One of Fluttershy’s animals got hold of one of the photos and it ended up in town. Somepony with some kind of problem with Rainbow then picked it up and blackmailed Thunderlane into taking the photos for them. They then retrieved the photo and put it online.” Flufflepuff paused for breath. “The only questions are who would have a grudge against Rainbow, and of course how I know any of this.”

“Well go ahead then,” Thunderlane sneered. “This ought to be interesting.”

“See, the crook had a problem with Rainbow. She wanted to get close to her, but Dash never really paid her much attention. That hurt her. She always though Rainbow and her were friends, but soon all she got was passing hellos. It was different when they were fillies. They were so close, Dash would defend her from bullies who made fun of her and she was so grateful. That’s why it hurt so much when they drifted apart.

She wanted to be close again, so she came up with a plan. A really stupid plan. She thought that if they were friends before because Dash defended her, they could be friends again if she could help Dash. But how could she possible do that? Dash was perfectly capable of defending herself, physically at least. Then a photo fell in front of our culprit. And it all came together.

But then something went wrong. She tried to help Dash when Dash found out about the photo, and realized she made a mistake. She could see how hurt Rainbow was as she went along, that she was only working to repair damage that she caused. So she decided to put the whole thing to an end, and got everyone she bothered together. She’s sorry. I’m sorry.”

The ponies present looked on in silence. None of them could believe what had just transpired, or knew how to react, so they just stood there and watched to see how Dash would react.

“Fluffle,” Dash started, “What you did really hurt me. Do you know how it felt to be out there for everypony to see? I mean, I feel like I’m not even safe in my own home. No privacy anywhere. And what do you think ponies who saw that would think of me? I’m sorry too Fluffepuff, because I don’t think I can forgive you.”

Everything was still silent. Flufflepuff looked crestfallen. Having no options left to her, she turned and started walking to the door.

“Ha. What a stupid loser,” Thunderlane jeered. “I can’t believe that furball though that scheme would work. She’s a dumb, unshaven, idiotic little  “

“HEY!” Flufflepuff stopped in her tracks. The other ponies turned to look at the source of the noise, Rainbow Dash. “Listen up Thunderlane. Flufflepuff made some mistakes, we all do. And while you are perfectly entitled to think whatever you like, and to have an opinion, you WILL NOT say hurtful things like that to my friend., or anypony else for that matter. Is that bucking clear?”

“Friend? I though you hated  “

“IS THAT BUCKING CLEAR?”

“Yes Rainbow Dash,” he responded weakly.

“Alright. Now apoli  “ Dash was cut off midsentence by a flying ball of fluff.

“I knew you cared!” Rainbow was knocked to the ground as Flufflepuff leapt into her and embraced her in a crushing, suffocating, hug. “You said you didn’t but I knew you did!”

“Flufflepuff?”

“Yes?”

“Get off me.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t get so excited,” Rainbow said. “I still haven’t forgiven you for what you did, I’m just giving you another chance.”

“Well, I don’t want to question a good thing,” Flufflepuff stated, “But then why are you giving me a second chance?”

“I remembered something a friend told me. Friendship isn’t always easy, but it’s worth fighting for.”

A few weeks later they had patched things up, and the pictures had been been taken offline for good.  Everypony was sworn to secrecy about the events that transpired, both to protect Rainbow Dash’s dignity and to keep Thunderlane’s hobby secret. Soon they found themselves talking like friends again as they walked down the main street.

“And then Rarity was all like ‘Oh it is on’ and she got up on stage, right?” Rainbow was telling a story.

“Right.”

“So she gets up there, and  “

“Hey guys!” Pinkie had interrupted after popping out of a flowerpot. “Come up with a good concluding statement yet?”

“What?” Flufflepuff questioned. “I’m confused.”

“You know, a nice little finishing piece that wraps up the story and helps get the moral of the story across.”

“Wait,” interrupted Rainbow. “I thought the lesson was that Friendship was worth fighting for?” Pinkie shook her head.

“Nuh-uh, you can’t use that. It’s Twilight’s. You need something new.”

“Well, I got nothing. How about you Fluffles?”

“Pornogaphy is demeaning to all involved?” Pinkie shook her head again.

“The internet is a dangerous place?” Rainbow offered. Another head shake.

“Oh. I got it!” Exclaimed Flufflepuff. “How about we just let anypony who hears the story come up with their own interpretation!” Dash and Pinkie just stared at her, until Dash decided to speak.

“Flufflepuff, that is the laziest cop-out I have ever seen.” Flufflepuff just smiled.

“Yes it is Rainbow. Yes it is.”

THE END