Rarity the Witch

by WiseLama

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Alternate Universe, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Romance
Length: 1192

Twilight tries to stop Rarity and her evildoings

Rarity the witch has taken over the kingdom. Now it's up to Twilight to stop her reign of terror.

Published 2020-11-03 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-03 00:30:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Queen Rarity sat on her throne, bored as usual. She was getting tired of all the beheading and destruction. All these years attempting to take control of the whole kingdom seemed so useless in retrospect. She had finally beaten her most terrible foes and seized the throne for herself. She had everything she could ever desire. She had power. She had beauty. She had grace. The world was at her feet. And she had never been so bored for it.

Someone knocked on the door of her throne room. Two of her guards went to open it, but once they got close, the door exploded and made the two creatures fly to the other side of the room.

Rarity stood up from her throne, a frown on her face.

“Who is the fool who dares to intrude my palace?” her voice resonated throughout the room.

As the smoke dissipated, a knight in full armor made her way into the room. She had deep blue hair with strands of purple and pink and a determined look on her face.

“‘Tis I, Twilight Sparkle! Knight of the rebellion! I have come to take your head and put an end to your reign of evil, witch! Prepare to die!”

Rarity looked straight at her, clearly unimpressed. With a deadpan expression, she sat back on her throne and rested her head on her hand.

“Ah. So your plan was to come in through the main gate, claim you’re going to kill me, take my head and be on your way?”

Twilight’s brows furrowed. “Yes. Do you have a problem with it?”

Rarity caressed the surface of her throne with the tip of her finger. “No, no problem. It just seems a tad too simplistic, don’t you think? I’m the greatest magician in this realm. I know the most powerful magic, I made the strongest warriors of this kingdom kneel before me, and yet you think you can take me head-on without any sort of plan?”

Twilight smiled confidently.

“Oh, but I have a plan. And I’ll send you back from whence you came, you evil demon!”

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Very well, it doesn’t matter I suppose, come at me if you dare,” she declared with great indifference.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Just like that? Do you not fear death? Or do you think I have no chance of defeating you? I will let you know I am the best pupil of Lady Celestia the Great! I possess magical abilities unknown even to you! I’m a direct threat to you and your reign of evil! Are you just going to let it happen?” she finally let out in desperation.

Rarity sighed.

“I mean, I’m bored out of my mind, it’s that simple. I’d be grateful if you could actually succeed in making my life a little more difficult.”

Twilight looked at her with a puzzled look.

“Look," she continued, "I’ve already killed all the powerful warriors around, and it’s just not as much fun with no one to bully. All I am saying is that maybe you’ll be good enough of a distraction, dear.” She grew a smirk. “Plus, you look very dashing in your funny little armor, trying to act all tough with this serious expression on your face.”

Twilight puffed her cheeks in annoyance. “Don’t play games with me, witch! Why do you keep terrorizing the poor people of Equestria if it’s so boring to you then? If you just surrender now, I promise not to kill you!”

Rarity put a hand on her chest and batted her eyelashes in mock surprise. “You would spare me, after all I’ve done? How magnanimous of you.” She went back to her usual deadpan expression. “But sadly, I’m not interested. Unless you can think of something more entertaining than sitting on this throne all day and drive this kingdom to ruins.”

Twilight frowned. “What’s so funny about chaos and terrorizing innocent people? I should’ve known there was no redemption possible for someone as rotten as you!”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t get all preachy on me, darling. You people simply don’t understand what real fun is. Plus, I’m giving you the chance to end this without any bloodshed. Just find something to amuse me, and I promise not to kill anyone for as long as I’m entertained.

Twilight frowned. She wasn’t too keen on obeying to the childish queen’s demands, but it was true that she would rather not let this end violently. She thought longly about something that could keep the Queen busy. But what could satisfy such a depraved being? As she went through every possibility, an idea came to her, so ridiculous, that she couldn’t help but blush at the thought. She shook her head. No, this would never work. Unless?

Twilight looked up at Rarity once again. The witch was still smirking and tapping her fingers on the armrest of her throne.

“You… you said I looked ‘dashing’, didn’t you? Did you mean it?” She finally said, trying her hardest to sound nonchalant and failing spectacularly at it.

The Queen looked at her with a glint in her eyes as her smirk grew bigger. “I did mean it! Look at you! You look delightfully cute, all serious and self-righteous. I find that little frown of yours simply adorable.”

Twilight almost choked. Was Rarity making fun of her, or was she sincere? She didn't know why, but the candor in Rarity's voice let her believe that the latter was true. Twilight’s face was redder than a tomato, but she decided to proceed with her plan. The greater good of humankind depended on it.

“Do you… Do you want to go grab a coffee?” she finally asked with a voice crack.

Rarity looked at Twilight with big eyes. The room went silent for a few seconds, making Twilight think she had ruined her chance of finding a peaceful resolution to the situation.

Then, Rarity burst out laughing. She was on the verge of tears, laughing her head off and unsuccessfully trying to regain her composure. Twilight looked at her with a mix of embarrassment and annoyance.

“I’m… I’m so sorry,” Rarity said between two laughs, “don’t… don’t take it the wrong way, but was that the best thing you could come up with?”

“I’m starting to regret not just impaling you with my sword…” Twilight muttered under her breath.

“Oh, don’t be like that, darling! You’re just too cute; I can’t say no to that face. You know what, let’s go. I know a good place—ah, nevermind, actually killed the owner last week. Such a shame…”

“I’m starting to regret this…” she grumbled but still took Rarity’s hand as she got down from her throne and went through the bits and pieces of what was left of the door.

“Don’t! We’ll have a terrific time! Who knows, maybe you can ‘reform me’ on the way or something of the sort!”

“I think you’re probably a lost cause.”

Author's Note

There are probably some grammatical mistakes, but I really don't feel like spending too much time on this silly thing.