Chapter 23

On the outskirts of Ponyville, a train clacked along the tracks that came from far to the north. Inside the train were a group of mares and a young dragon. All of the main six and Spike were slumped over the chairs, exhausted both physically and emotionally.

“Twilight, we’re good friends and all, but next time Celestia gives you a big important test, remind me not to be involved,” Rainbow said, rubbing her sore wings.

“Ditto,” Applejack said as she let her hat sit on her lap.

“I like parties, but that was arguably the hardest party I had to come up with!” Pinkie said.

“It’s a shame we couldn’t stay, I would’ve loved to stay crystallized,” Rarity said while brushing her mane and tail.

“I’d rather stay home with my furry friends then go through something scary like that again,” Fluttershy said, still shivering a bit. “If that’s okay with all of you, of course.”

“I’m just glad it’s all over,” Spike sighed.

Twilight merely smiled and wrapped an arm around her baby dragon. She looked out the window to the countryside, seeing the peace and tranquility. She emitted a deep frown when her mind lingered to Sombra and the remnants of his dark magic. Why do I have a feeling of a dark omen…?

“Hey Twilight!”

Said unicorn yelped when she was brought out of her mind by the sound of Spike calling to her. Twilight looked and saw that they just arrived at Ponyville station. She stood up and helped Spike carry her luggage out of the train. Once she was out on the platform, she looked at their welcoming committee made of the Sheriff and his Deputy. “Oh hi Arthur! Hey Sean!” She greeted the stallions who tilted their hats at the mare.

“Welcome back home, Twilight.” Arthur greeted said mare who gave him a brief hug followed by the others.

Meanwhile, Sean was grabbed by Rainbow and had his lips captured by the feisty pegasus mare. Once he was freed, he chuckled and held onto his mare. “Ye missed me that much, Dashie?” He rhetorically asked her.

“You know it~,” Rainbow purred.

“Rainbow Dash, have some decorum for goodness sake!” Rarity scolded her friend as she and the other mares blushed at the public affection of borderline erotic intimacy. Oh! When will I have Arthur embrace me like that?! She pined mentally when her eyes landed on the sheriff.

“Not even one second back together, and yer as active as rabbits in heat!” Arthur grunted and shook his head.

Pinkie giggled but when her eyes landed on the third stallion that was next to Arthur, she paused and starred. When said stallion looked back at her to greet her, Pinkie gasped and jumped into the air, before she dashed off from the platform and into town.

Kieran merely blinked and looked back at an amused Arthur. “Did I do something?”

“Naw, that’s normal,” Arthur waved it off.

“Arthur? Who is this?” Rarity asked.

“About that,” Arthur said. “Before we introduce our friend here, we best head back to our camp. We’ll explain everything there.”

“Why at your camp?” Rainbow asked.

“Trust us, lov, it be for the best,” Sean said as the stallions led the mares off the train platform.

The group of ponies were all sitting around Arthur’s camp with Arthur and his deputies sitting next to him.

“Now then,” Arthur cleared his throat. “I’m sure y’all would love to tell us all about your adventure in wherever y’all were, but I feel as though this is just as important.” Arthur held his hand out to Kieran. “This here is Kieran Duffy. He’s…well, he’s one of us.”

“Uh, one of you?” Applejack said.

“He’s meanin’ to say Kieran here’s from where we came from,” Sean said.

“Wait…are you saying he’s a human too?” Twilight said, putting the pieces together.

“Yep, and he used to run in our old gang,” Arthur added.

Almost immediately, Twilight teleported in front of a startled Kieran and beamed at him with her eyes widened in glee. “Oh my gosh! This is absolutely phenomenal!” She used her magic to levitate what looked like a scroll and quill. “This calls for a Full Research Project! Oooh, I hope I have enough parchment to document everything. Wait ‘till Princess Celestia hears about this! This is gonna be the-!”

“Woah there, Twilight!” Arthur pulled the unicorn away from the intimidated Kieran to give him space. “There’ll be enough time to ask our boy here questions, but right now yer kinda scaring him.”

Twilight blushed profusely at Arthur’s words and turned her attention back towards Kieran. “I-I’m so sorry! Really! I-I-!”

“It’s alright ma’am,” Kieran interrupted Twilight’s rambling.

“Wait, wait, wait, back up,” Rainbow said. “You’re telling us that this guy is from your world?”

“Sure is,” Sean said. “And this boy used to run with a bloke trying to kill us too!”

Smack!

Arthur hit Sean upside the head and sneered at him.

“What? Just being honest,” Sean shrugged.

“Y-You tried to k-kill Arthur?” Fluttershy said fearfully.

“No! W-well, I mean, I did…I-I mean I didn’t! But I did run with someone else, but I-” Kieran said, tripping over his own words.

“Everyone just calm down,” Arthur said, his voice sounding demanding. “Listen, yes, he used to run with someone else but Kieran actually saved my life.” Arthur took off his hat as he recounted the memory. “We met this kid when we raided one of his old gang’s camps. His gang was led by a man named Colm O’Driscoll. He and Dutch, our old gang leader, had it out for each other long before either of them even had gangs. We took Kieran hostage in an attempt to find out where Colm was and get the drop on him before he did us. Kieran led us to another camp of theirs and we raided it all the same.”

“When you say raided, do you mean…” Spike said hesitantly.

“Killed and robbed the lot of them? Yeah, we did,” Arthur nodded, making the mares and Spike anxious. “I’ll remind y’all that things were very different back home. Anyway, one of the bastards got the drop on me. It’s safe to say I wouldn’t be sitting here with y’all if it weren’t for Kieran since he killed the man pointing his gun at me. Ever since then, he stuck with us in an attempt to forget about Colm for good.”

All of the present mares smiled at Kieran except for Rainbow Dash and Applejack, the latter looking at the stallion with an arched brow. “Say, weren’t ye at the Canterlot Rodeo a few weeks back?” She asked him bluntly.

“Oh yeah, that rodeo in the big city. It was quite fierce competition there…” Kieran trailed off when he looked at Applejack. “You were competing there too! I remember now, ya gave me quite a run for my money…not that I didn’t have any when I first arrived there,” he commented and stretched out his hand towards Applejack to shake it. “But yeah, it’s nice to meet a fellow rodeo competitor.”

“Sure,” Applejack replied dryly but her attention was drawn to a familiar badge on Kieran’s person. “Ya deputized him already, Arthur?” She asked the sheriff, curious and concerned about the hasty decision.

Arthur nodded and grunted with a grin. “Sure did, there’s no other man I wouldn’t trust to have my back when the shit hits the fan. Besides, it’ll be a lot less stressful than just to have the lazy potato over there as my only deputy.” He gestured his thumb towards Sean.

“Oi now! I’ll have you know I brought in my bounties than ye ever did, English!” Swear barked.

“Cause you wanted more of the bits it offered you,” Arthur countered.

“Damn righ’. How else am I gonna spoil meself or me lady?” Sean said and winked at a giggling Rainbow Dash.

“Well, I for one am glad that there’s another dependable stallion dawning the badge of the law,” Rarity said. “And if Arthur has faith in you, then so shall I.”

“Thank you, Rarity,” Arthur said.

“If you ask me, I’m still on the fence about this,” Rainbow said sternly. “Considering what you told us, I’ll be keeping an eye on him.”

“Rainbow,” Twilight tried to say.

“No, no, it’s fine, miss Twilight,” Kieran said. “I’m well aware it’ll take more than a badge to convince everyone to be comfortable around me. Just give it time.”

“If you say so,” Twilight said.

“Ah gotta get back to the farm,” Applejack said and stood up. “It was nice meetin’ ya Kieran, but Ah’ll also be keepin’ watch.”

The other mares followed Applejack’s lead and left the camp as well. It was now just Arthur, Sean, and Kieran sitting at their camp.

“I think that went well,” Sean said.

“As well as it could’ve gone,” Arthur said.

“You sure it was a good idea to deputize me?” Kieran asked.

“Sure I’m sure,” Arthur said. “After all, Sean and I can’t look out for the whole town on our own.”

“Speaking of which, it’s about time we make your rounds,” Sean said and stood up while unfurling his wings. “Let’s take to the skies for this one.”

Kieran nodded and stood up while unfurling his wings. The two deputies took off into the air towards Ponyville and Arthur watched them fly away. The gunslinger smiled as he leaned back and enjoyed the peaceful afternoon breeze.

“Having deputies ain’t such a bad thing,” Arthur said.

Later That Day

“You sure about this?” Kieran said as he followed Sean.

“Course I’m sure! Besides, it was Arthur’s idea. And you don’t know how to read or write either!” Sean said.

“Hey! I can so read and write!” Kieran said. “Just…not as well as I should.”

“Exactly,” Sean said as they neared the schoolhouse. “Trust me, boyo, this’ll be well worth it.”

The sun was about to set over the horizon as the two deputies approached the schoolhouse. Sean and Kieran noticed a few other stallions entering the building and standing outside was none other than Cheerilee herself.

“Welcome…yes, welcome, sir,” Cheerilee greeted. “It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Vowel.”

Sean took off his hat and cleared his throat. “Evening, Cherri,” Sean greeted with a smile.

Cheerilee beamed but immediately dimmed the smile down to a professional level. “I’m really glad to see you here tonight, Mr. MacGuire.” She greeted Sean and turned her attention to Kieran. “Are you also going to join class tonight, Deputy Duffy?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Kieran said as he took off his hat and greeted Cheerilee in kind.

“Come on in, both of you…class is about to start.” Cheerilee gestured to both deputies to come inside. She closed the door behind her once she was the last to enter the school and made her way to the blackboard where a few simple sentences were written.

Cheerilee cleared her throat with a cough. “Good evening everypony,” she greeted the class who quieted down after she spoke. “Now, I’m glad to see new faces amongst our class tonight.” She said when she looked around to see both deputies and a few new faces before her too.

“Today marks the first day of these night classes where I will teach and aid you to read and write properly like any other stallion. Keep in mind, we do not discourage one another just because you lack the common skills of reading and writing. You’re all here to learn and I will show you the way,” Cheerilee said, and the stallions all nodded appreciatively. Cheerilee took a stack of papers and began passing them out to the stallions.

“We will begin with sounding out vowels and using them to form words,” Cheerilee said.

When Sean and Kieran got their papers, they both started to feel a little nervous since they could barely read the simple sentences and letters written on the paper.

“In for a penny, in for a pound, eh Kieran?” Sean said.

“Yeah…sure,” Kieran gulped.

Two Hours Later

“The…duck…may swim…on…the l-lake?” Kieran read on the blackboard as Cheerilee pointed to each word with a ruler.

“Very good, Mr. Duffy!” Cheerilee said proudly. Kieran smiled and sat back down. “Mr. MacGuire? Would you like to read the second line?”

“Erm…sure,” Sean said and stood up. Cheerilee pointed at the word and Sean squinted his eyes. “Th-The…do-dog…ro-, no, ran…to c-catch the…uh, bull?”

“Ball,” Cheerilee corrected.

“Oh! Right, ball. The dog ran to catch the ball,” Sean said.

“Very good,” Cheerilee replied and gave a subtle wink at the deputy.

One stallion however decided to add a comment in. “T-The dog may have ran to the ball, but it ended up biting yours!” He guffawed at his own joke but was met with only a few snickers from others.

“You spent all day on that one, boyo?” Sean replied with a smirk and a chuckle from Kieran.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Cheerilee admonished both stallions and waited until the class was silent again. “Now, let’s try something new here,” She pointed out to the board. “Who can identify the
verb in this sentence?”

When class was done for the night, Cheerilee asked one of the ponies in the class to help her with cleaning up the classroom with her. To her delight, Sean immediately jumped at the request.

“I wonder how many more classes I will have to take before I can read and write meself…” Sean muttered to himself when he lifted the desks to one side of the building.

“Oh? Am I already such an awful teacher to be around with?” Cheerilee asked with a snicker.

Sean grinned at his teacher. “Not at all, though I wonder if you do private lessons?”

“Normally I don’t,” Cheerilee replied and walked up to Sean. “But for you,” she said as she pointed and planted her finger to his chest. “I can make an exception.”

Sean smiled and grabbed her hand and held it in his.

“I may take ya up on that, lov,” Sean said as he kissed her hand. “Let’s finish up, shall we? And don’t forget, I still gotta take ya out sometime soon.”

“I look forward to it,” Cheerilee said demurely.

A Few Days Later

“Thanks again for helping me, Deputy Kieran,” an elderly stallion by the name of Burnt Oak. Kieran carried another load of logs onto the old stallion’s cart and wiped his brow. “I woulda never gotten this done by day’s end. My age must be finally gettin’ to me.”

“Think nothing of it, Mr. Oak,” Kieran said. “I’m always happy to help.”

“It sure is refreshing to hear that Sheriff Morgan took on another deputy under his wing. The local guard was nice and all, a little undependable in some areas, but it’s nice to finally have a few law ponies who know how to properly keep us townsponies safe,” Burnt Oak said.

“I’m glad to hear that, sir, it’s the least I can do,” Kieran smiled. “I best be on my way.”

“Take care, Deputy!” Burnt Oak waved goodbye as Kieran tipped his hat and left.

Things were going pretty smoothly for Kieran these past couple of days. It honestly surprised him how welcoming the ponies of Ponyville were, considering the massive welcome party that pink mare threw for him in his honor. Of all the known professions Kieran thought about doing if he ever decided not to be a gunslinger, a sheriff’s deputy was at the bottom of the list. Yet here he was, dawning a badge and helping keep Ponyville safe. As Kieran walked around town, he saw a duck and her ducklings walking together. He noticed one of them was lagging behind and it tripped over its little foot. The sight of the poor baby bird waned Kieran’s heart as he quickly walked up to the duckling and knelt down to pick it up.

“Hey there, little guy,” Kieran said softly. The duckling looked up at Kieran and tilted its little head. “If you fall behind too far, your momma will lose sight of you.” Kieran gently scooped up the duckling in his hands and walked quickly after the momma duck. The duck turned to see Kieran approaching her and he knelt down to reveal the duckling. “You forgot something, ma’am.” The duckling hopped out of his hands and quickly waddled up to its mother. The mother duck nuzzled her child and quaked thankfully at Kieran before continuing on her way.

“Oh my, that was so sweet.”

Kieran heard a soft voice and turned his head to see Fluttershy standing behind him.

“Oh! Hello, Ms, Fluttershy,” Kieran said as he stood up and took off his hat. “It’s a nice afternoon, yes?”

“Oh yes, it sure is,” Fluttershy replied with a soft smile on her face. “I just thought I’d accompany Mrs. Quackmore to the pond with her ducklings.”

Kieran tilted his head and furrowed his brow in confusion. “Mrs. Quackmore? Is that the duck’s name?”

“Oh yes, she still needs to name her ducklings though. They’re only a few days old but they are growing up so fast!” Fluttershy gushed at the family of ducks.

“So you can talk to animals?” Kieran asked her.

Fluttershy nodded in response. “Mmhmm, it’s something I discovered after I fell from from Cloudsdale during a flight lesson. I was so scared when I fell, but then I was saved by butterflies and I saw all the wonderful critters on the ground! Oh, it was so magical I couldn’t believe my eyes. That’s also when I heard and saw a Sonic Rainboom in the sky. That day was also the day I earned my cutie mark.”

“Erm…cutie mark?” Kieran asked.

“Oh! That’s right, you’re from Arthur’s home.” Fluttershy lifted up her sleeve and showed Kerian her shoulder to reveal three butterflies. “This is a cutie mark, it signifies my special talent with animals.”

“I see,” Kieran nodded and glanced at his shoulder. Wonder what mine would look like? If I ever get one, that is.

“It was nice talking with you, Mr. Duffy, I must get home and tend to my furry friends,” Fluttershy said and started to walk away.

Kieran couldn’t explain it, but he felt somewhat compelled to reach out to the shy mare. “Um, Ms. Fluttershy?” Kieran said, making the mare turn to him. “Perhaps I can help ya with your animals? I’m mighty fond of the little critters myself.”

“You are?” Fluttershy asked.

“Sure, ever since I was a boy,” Kieran answered. “I used to feed this family of squirrels with nuts that lived in a tree next to my pa's barn.”

Fluttershy pondered the offer and wondered if it was a good idea. She rarely invites anyone to her home, excluding her friends, and she lives a somewhat secluded life. However, it was probably the way he sounded just as innocent as her. He sounded like he genuinely wanted to help her and spend time with her.

“Well…I do have a lot to do, and it would be nice to have some extra help,” Fluttershy said. “I suppose it would be okay.”

“Really?” Kieran said, sounding excited but calmed himself. “Thank you for the opportunity, Ms. Fluttershy.”

“You can call me just Fluttershy,” Fluttershy said. “Come along, my home isn’t far from here.”

Kieran nodded and followed Fluttershy and the family of ducks. As they walked, Kieran couldn’t help but admire how admittedly cute Fluttershy was. Her soft fur, her pretty pink mane and tail, and the way she hid her face with her mane a little was cute as well. To be fair, Kieran thought almost everything in this town was cute in its own right. There was something special about this mare that he couldn’t figure out, but he couldn’t place it.

After a bit of walking, the two ponies eventually arrived at Fluttershy’s cottage just outside of town. Kieran was genuinely impressed at the layout of the humble home and found himself admiring the more he looked at it.

“Here we are, home sweet home,” Fluttershy said. “It’s not much, but it’s enough.”

“Are you kidding?” Kieran said. “This is amazing! You live here? It’s such a cozy-lookin’ home! I wish I used to live in a place like this!”

Fluttershy blushed a little but soon her attention was on the animals inside the house who soon approached Kieran. The stallion took off his hat and bowed to the little animals. “Howdy there, pleased to meet you all. My name is Kieran Duffy, Deputy of Ponyville.” He greeted the animals kindly. Soon all the critters approached Kieran and they liked him immediately after his greeting.

Whilst Kieran was busy talking to a hawk that was stationed on his shoulder, a familiar white bunny hopped towards the stallion. Just as soon as the deputy turned to acknowledge the little rabbit, he was met with a kick to his leg.

“Oh my! Angel! You know better than to kick other ponies!” Fluttershy unloaded the full power of her stare on the unwavering bunny, who soon lost all bravado when the stare would not whither.

Kieran merely laughed it off and waved his hand. “It’s quite alright, Fluttershy. Didn’t even feel it. And I was kicked by my nag once, now that was painful.” He commented offhandedly as he reminisced his past.

Fluttershy giggled and entered her kitchen to prepare some tea.

“How are you liking being a Deputy, Kieran?” Fluttershy asked.

“It’s actually kinda fun, to be honest,” Kerman said as he reached for a bowl of nuts and gave some to the chipmunks and squirrels. “It’s a nice change of pace than what I usually had to deal with.”

“Are you…referring to when you were an outlaw?” Fluttershy asked from the kitchen as she prepared two cups.

Kieran hesitated and sighed while feeding more treats to the little rodents. “It wasn’t a life I wanted, since I still remember my pa, but I suppose you could say it’s a life that found me. Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if Colm hadn’t picked me up that day. Maybe I could’ve stayed on my pa’s farm, try and make the most of it instead of just picking up a pistol. But, I guess I wouldn’t have met Arthur and the others.”

Fluttershy listened to Kieran’s tale and came back in with two cups of tea. She found him sitting on the couch with a bunch of critters sitting around him. She gently sat next to Kieran and handed him his cup.

“Do you miss your home?” Fluttershy asked.

“Eh, it had its good times,” Kieran shrugged. “But to be honest? Naw, not really. This place is a whole hell of a lot better than back home.” He said and took a sip from his cup. For a brief second, he looked outside to see three ponies waving at him. Only thing was, all three of them were Pinkie Pie.

“Is something wrong?” Fluttershy asked when she saw Kieran look at his tea and then back at the window. She turned around and saw what he witnessed. “Oh my! Three Pinkies?!” She exclaimed and rushed outside to get a closer look. When she opened the front door to go outside, Fluttershy was greeted with a loud honk from a horn that was owned by Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie grinned and giggled at the confused and frazzled Fluttershy. “Fun! Fun!” She shouted and ran towards the other Pinkies who were trying to catch the outside critters. “Fun! Fun! Fun!” All of them shouted out.

When she got her bearings, Fluttershy was helped back up to her hooves thanks to Kieran. “Are you alright?” He asked her as he held onto her still.

“Oh, yes…I’m…” Fluttershy’s wings furled a little from the touch but was glad they didn’t spread out when she was let go. “What’s going on?!” She called out as she rushed the outside and saw all her critter friends run away from the ever growing hordes of Pinkie Pies. “Hey! Pinkie! Leave those critters alone!” She shouted out and flew towards the duplicates, only for them to rush off towards Ponyville.

“Did I just see a bunch of Pinkie Pies harassing your critters?” Kieran asked out loud as he scratched his head, following Fluttershy. “Are those all her family?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Uh-No! There’s only one Pinkie Pie.” One is enough! “I don’t know what just happened, but Pinkie somehow managed to make more copies of herself.”

“Is that even possible?” Kieran asked.

“Well, I think so…but we need to get to Twilight’s! She will know what to do,” Fluttershy said.

Both pegasi flew straight towards the library as Pinkie Pies were literally bouncing all over the place. The townsfolk were either laughing their butts off or running to find cover. On the way, Kieran saw Arthur and Sean with their lassos and wrangled up any Pinkie Pie they could tie up.

“Arthur! Sean!” Kieran said.

“Kieran! What in the name of Saint Patrick is goin’ on here?! There’s too much pink!” Sean said as he tied up another Pinkie Pie and added her to the group of ones he already tied up.

“Fun! Fun? Fun! Fun! Fun!” The Pinkies all chirped.

“Goddamnit any way! This is fuckn’ madness!” Arthur barked as he lassoed another Pinkie, making her body squeak like a toy.

Kieran soon pulled out his lasso from his belt and began wrangling up Pinkie Pies himself. However, the more Pinkies the three gunslingers hogtied, the more seemed to take their place.

“This is gettin’ us nowhere-oof!” Arthur was tackled by a Pinkie Pie and the party mare lookalike giggled like a fool.

“Tag! You’re it, Arty!” Pinkie said and hopped away.

“Oi! Get offa me!” Sean barked when two Pinkies jumped on his back.

“Woohoo! Ride ‘em cowpony!” One of the Pinkies shouted.

The other one took Sean’s hat and put it on. “Look at me! I’m a gunslinger!”

“Oh dear…” Fluttershy said as she watched the pink chaos.

Suddenly, Twilight came running towards the three gunslingers with the rest of the main six following her.

“I FOUND IT!” Twilight shouted, holding up a book. “I FOUND THE BOOK!”

“What book?!” Arthur asked.

“The book describing the Mirror Pond,” Twilight replied as she showed a book she was holding to Arthur. “It also describes a spell that will send all the clones back where they came from. But there’s a catch-” Twilight paused when she noticed a Pinkie imitating her every move, including her speech.

Applejack merely shoved this Pinkie into the herd of Pinkies. “You stay right there!” She barked out her order to the clone. Can’t believe they ruined our barn-raising! She thought to herself and glanced at Arthur. Though perhaps he might be able to help me out… Her thoughts lingered until Twilight spoke.

“Thank you, Applejack,” Twilight said with a kind smile. “Now, as I was saying, there’s a catch. A really big one! If I can’t figure out which one is the real Pinkie, I might send her back by mistake!” She exclaimed her worries to her friends.

“So we have to figure out which one of them is real?” Sean asked and pointed to the horde of Pinkies. “Don’t you have some magic spell you could use to find the real one in there?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know a spell like that,” Twilight said looking down to the ground somberly.

“Don’t worry, kid, we’ll think of something else,” Arthur reassured Twilight, patting her head. “Now, these Pinkies are a real rowdy bunch. If only we could just get them to sit still.”

“Sit still?” Rainbow said. “You do realize this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about, right? Sitting still is the last thing she’d ever wanna do.”

“True, but as far as what I know about this girl, she just might be able to comply with even the most mundane and boring thing,” Arthur said.

“Like watching paint dry,” Kieran said while keeping an eye on all the hogtied Pinkies.

“Pfft! As if this pink party planner could do somethin’ as drawl as watchin’ paint dry,” Sean rolled his eyes.

The other Mane Six looked at each other and considered the gunslingers’ conversation.

“That…that might actually work,” Twilight said.

“Huh?” The three gunslingers said.

“Quick! Gather the remaining Pinkie Pies and bring them to the Town Hall!” Twilight said and ran off to the town hall.

“Guess we’re really doing this,” Arthur shrugged. “You heard the kid, let’s get back to wranglin’!”

After Arthur and his deputies finally managed to bring together all the Pinkie Pies, the pink army of giggling cloned mares were bouncing off the walls and just having fun with each other. Meanwhile, Arthur and the others were off to the side trying to catch their breath.

“Ugh…my arms hurt,” Kieran said.

“And I thought wranglin’ hogs was hard!” Sean groaned.

“Well…least we got ‘em all,” Arthur said.

“Wait up!” The doors opened and Rainbow came flying in carrying another Pinkie Pie looking sad. “I got one more! I found this one poking at the ground with her hoof, making frowny faces.”

“Nice goin’ lov!” Sean said, holding up a thumbs up as he leaned on the wall.

“Thank you, Rainbow, place her with the others,” Twilight said while standing on the main stage.

“Think this’ll work?” Kieran asked.

“At this point, I’m open for anything,” Arthur replied.

“Pinkies, you’ve been brought here to take a test,” Twilight said. The Pinkies all groaned and whined out loud, expressing their frustration.

“Don’t worry, it’s a simple test. About as simple as they come,” Twilight reassured them. “And whoever passes gets to stay.” More confusion from the Pinkies

“Getting a little worried here, English,” Sean muttered.

“Trust the kid, Sean,” Arthur said.

“Curtain please!” Twilight said, and Spike pulled the rope. The curtain raised up and Fluttershy and Rarity presented a wall with paint all over it. “You’ll be watching paint dry!” All the Pinkies gasped dramatically. “On your marks, get set, go!”

All at once, the Pinkies glued their eyes at the wall and never tore their gaze away from the wall.

“This is gonna be so exciting!” Spike naively shouted and began to eat some popcorn from a box.

“I take that back, this is gonna be so boring!” Spike groaned as he sat down on his chair looking at the Pinkies.

Not one of them broke character, even after an hour had passed. All the Pinkies starred at the wall of fresh paint, not even blinking or move their bodies.

“Are you sure this is the only way to find the real Pinkie, Twilight?” Rarity asked her friend. “I honestly have work to do for an upcoming ball you know.”

“I know Rarity! But this is our friend and we need to help her! Friendship before work, you should know that.” Twilight responded but did not look away from the Pinkies as she was too focused to find one imposter and send it back. “There’s gotta be something! Something that would normally make Pinkie react.”

“The only thing she would react to is either a party or some pranks,” Rainbow replied as she sat next to Sean with his wing draped over her back.

Sean blinked and looked at Rainbow. “Did you say pranks?” He asked her. His eyes lightened up as a light bulb was switched on in his head. “I got it!” He jumped into the air and flew out of the hall, leaving everypony perplexed at his actions.

“What did he mean by that?” Kieran asked Arthur.

Arthur merely shrugged and shook his head. “No idea, but knowing Sean…it’s something very crazy, or incredibly stupid.” He said and raised his eyebrow when he saw Sean return with a bunch of pies, balloons and wooden-bats. “Or it could be both.”

“Arthur, remember that one heist in Chicago when Hosea, me and you were faced down with a gang of angry Irishmen?” Sean asked the sheriff when he handed a pie out to Arthur and Kieran.

“You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific, Sean…we did a lot of stuff in Chicago back then,” Arthur said.

Sean groaned and rolled his eyes. “The one involving the diamond they thought I ate!”

A laugh escaped Arthur’s lips when he remembered that night. “Oh that one! Hosea and I sure put our bodies through Hell for that one, making ourselves look like fools whiles those bastards nearly died of laughte-” Arthur paused abruptly and blinked. “You’re not seriously thinking of doing that?”

“Doing what? And who’s Hosea?” Applejack asked curiously, with the other mares present also wondering what they were talking about.

“Well, we gotta get these mares to break somehow,” Sean said.

“Ugh…for all that’s good, please don’t make me…” Arthur begged.

“You got a better idea?” Sean asked, and Arthur groaned loudly.

“What’re you guys talking about?” Rainbow wondered.

Arthur audibly groaned as he, Sean, and Kieran walked up in front of the group of Pinkies.

“Ladies, please don’t judge us too harshly,” Arthur said. “Ready?”

“You know it! Follow our lead, Kieran,” Sean said.

Arthur then pretended he was cooking something and Sean peaked over his shoulder.

“Whacha makin’, English?” Sean asked.

“A knuckle sandwich,” Arthur said and punched Sean square in the snout, making him fumble backwards like an idiot. A few Pinkies chortled at the act.

“Hey! Don’t punch him like that! He didn’t deserve it!” Kieran snapped.

“Hey, hold this,” Arthur said, giving him his hat.

“Oh thanks!” Kieran said.

Smack!

“Shaddap!” Arthur said as he smacked Kieran across his cheek. Some Pinkie Pies laughed out loud.

Twilight, who did not witness the chaos that Arthur and the other deputies were in, noticed some of the Pinkies laughing and looking away from the drying paint. Using her magic, Twilight immediately zapped the clones who failed the test. “Whatever you’re doing, it’s working!”

“Oi, English wanker!” Sean shouted out and took a pie into his hand.

“What?” Arthur grunted out but was silenced when he was greeted with a pie to his face. The sheriff cleaned the mess from his eyes and licked the pie from his lips. “Look what ye did? What a good waste of pie!”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t handle it anymore and bowled over laughing at the antics before her. Soon enough, Rarity and Applejack joined in on the laughter. Strangely enough, even Fluttershy giggled at the trio’s work.

“You know what they say? If you can’t please them, beat ‘em!” Kieran called out and took a bat and swung at Arthur, who merely ducked for Sean to take the blow.

Sure enough, many of the Pinkie’s were rolling on the floor laughing only to be met by Twilight’s magic and sent back to whence they came.
Sean shook his head and took a balloon to inhale from it. “I think you might have broken more than just my head.” He squeaked out with a high pitched voice and threw a pie at Kieran’s face. “How do you like that?!”

“Stop! Stop!” Rainbow banged on the ground laughing and gasping for air.

“Sean, Kieran, we gotta put this door on for the client,” Arthur said. “Go get the tools?”

“What tools?” Kieran asked.

Bonk!

“The tools we’ve been using for over ten years!” Arthur said after bonking Kieran’s head. “Now, he said he wanted it on the right.” He looked down at his right hand and pointed to the right.

“No, he said he wanted it on the right!” Sean said, pointing his right hand in the opposite direction, making Arthur scowl at him.

“What’s this?” Arthur asked, holding up his fist.

“A fist!” Sean said, then Arthur hit Sean’s head.

Bonk!

“Right or left?” Arthur asked, only for Sean to look confused. “Oh, ignorant, eh?”

Bonk!

“Now listen, grape-head, I’ll explain so even you can understand.” Arthur grabbed Sean and moved him in the opposite position where Arthur stood. “Now, when I say go, we both point to the right.” Sean nodded as if he understood. “Go!” Arthur pointed to his right and Sean pointed to his right in the opposite direction again. Arthur scowled at Sean again and looked at Kieran. “Hey Kieran! Point to the right for this chump!” Kieran was standing in the middle of them and he pointed his right hand off to the side.

“See?” Sean said.

Slap! Slap!

“Y’all’re idiots!” Arthur snapped after slapping them both.

“I can’t breathe! I’m gonna pass out!” Applejack roared with laughter, along with a few more Pinkie clones.

Thanks to the antics of the trio, almost all of the Pinkie clones were now sent back. Only two remained focused on the board.

“Damn it all! Even after all that?!” Sean exclaimed as he wiped the pie from his face and soothe the aches on his whole body. “What’s it gotta take for one of these two to snap?” He asked out loud, but was met with the wheezing voice of Rainbow who was recovering from her laughter.

“I-I think I know what to do,” Rainbow said as she continued to giggle uncontrollably. “PINKIE! GUMMY IS RIDING A UNICYCLE WHILE BALENCING A STACK OF PLATES AND TAPDANCING ON THE SEAT WITH HIS TOES!” She shouted out and collapsed to the floor out of breath from all the skits her coltfriend did.

Sure enough, one of the Pinkies turned and looked around furiously. “Oh! Oh! Where is he?!” She asked excitedly with a beam on her face, only to be hit by magic from Twilight and sent back to the pond.

Twilight sighed a breath of relief and walked over to Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, you can look away now.” She instructed her friend with a calm voice and a relieved smile.

Pinkie blinked and sagged her shoulders. “Oh good,” She looked up at Twilight with drooped ears and moist eyes. “I’m so sorry everypony, I just wanted to spend time with y’all and have fun with everypony. I didn’t mean to-” She paused when she saw the state Applejack, Rainbow Dash Rarity were in, “Hey, what happened?” She asked curiously as she cocked her eyebrow and tilted her head.

“We had to find some way to smoke the other Pinkies out,” Arthur replied as he stood next to Kieran and Sean. “Luckily my Deputies and I found a way, a very messy way.”

“Wait a minute…did you three do some skits without me?!” Pinkie’s jaw dropped when she realized what had happened. “We are so doing this again, but I’m joining!”

The three stallions grimaced at the same time and looked at each other with worry. “Out of the fryin’ pan and into the fire.” Kieran commented in a whisper to Arthur.

“This is not gonna end well for us…” Arthur replied and gulped loudly when he saw the fire in Pinkie’s eyes.

“You three were hilarious!” Spike said after wiping his eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard!”

“It was really funny,” Fluttershy giggled.

“You three should put on a show with an act like that!” Rarity said. “You would call it: The Slinging Trio!”

“Uh, I admire the enthusiasm, Rarity,” Arthur said sheepishly.

“Sorry we were interrupted, Fluttershy,” Kieran said. “Can I still help out with your little critters?”

“Of course you can, Kieran,” Fluttershy said with a smile. “I can tell they were already quite fond of you. Well, most of them anyway.”

“Eh, I’m sure Angel will warm up to me anyway,” Kieran said. “Everyone eventually does, ain’t that right Arthur?”

“Whatever you say, Kieran, whatever you say,” Arthur laughed.

Later That Evening
Elsewhere

The winds blew through the lush trees of a forest near the town far to the southwest just as the sun was about to set over the horizon. A humble little town by the name of Sire’s Hollow. Within the brush of the trees, there lay a pegasus pony that looked dead at first glance. The pony wore dirty clothes and looked like he was beaten up and left for dead. That is until he suddenly gasped and breathed in a big breath of air. The stallion coughed and gagged as he desperately sucked in the air as if his life depended on it. He shakily lifted himself off the ground with his hands and knees and clasped his neck. He rubbed and prodded his neck, as if he was looking for something tied around it, but felt nothing. When he managed to open his eyes, he was met with the green trees and lush grass he was laying on. Still rubbing his neck for whatever nonexistent object he was trying to feel for, the stallion used his free hand to lean on a tree and use it for leverage as he stood up. However, as soon as he stood up, he barely was able to catch himself on the tree after almost falling forward.

“What…the fuck?” The stallion growled.

His voice sounded raspy and rough, almost like his windpipe was recovering from being crushed. The stallion looked down at his hands and noticed the dark blueish-gray fur around his fingers.

“The fuck is this…?” The stallion said, sounding annoyed. “I’m dead…aren’t I?” The stallion looked down at himself and noticed his legs, and even the wings and tail that hung behind him. “This some kind of sick fucking joke?! The fuck happened to me?!” His outburst earned another coughing fit, making him rub his throat again. “This don’t make no sense…”

The stallion looked behind him and noticed the town’s lights through the brush of the trees. Though he was weak and a little unbalanced, he was able to trudge towards the town while catching himself on any tree he walked past. His trek was a slow one, considering his clumsiness, but the stallion managed to reach the outskirts of the town. His breath was a little hoarse and rough but he was able to eventually reach his goal.

“About fucking time…!” The stallion spat. “Curse these fucked up legs…”

Just as he was about to make an appearance in the town, the wind picked up and blew against him. With the breeze of the wind, an old newspaper flew from out of nowhere and right into the stallion’s face.

“Gah! Goddamnit, get off me!” The stallion barked and ripped the paper off.

Just as he was about to throw the paper away, something caught his sight in the corner of his eye. He paused and held the paper in his hand before opening it all the way and saw what one of the headlines said.

New Sheriff of Ponyville, Arthur Morgan, solves the case of the missing hospital funds for the foals! This year’s Hearthswarming will certainly be one to remember for the recovering little ones, all thanks to Sheriff Arthur Morgan!

Anger engulfed the stallion’s being but he shook his head. “It can’t be that fucking asshole!” He seethed but when he saw a picture of said sheriff, his eyes widened and his teeth grinded at the sight of a smiling Arthur Morgan.

He ripped the paper in pieces and threw it all onto the ground and spat on it with hate. “Just wait, Arthur Morgan! You got another thing coming, and that’s me!” He swore to himself but his stomach growled in hunger. But first I need some food…

He looked around and noticed a market of sorts with produce on sale. “Guess these folks won’t miss a fruit or two, maybe even could lend me some money…I wonder if they eat pork?” He thought to himself out loud and slinked his way towards the unsuspecting ponies.

Author's Note

And everyone thought Arthur didn’t have that much of a sense of humor . More importantly…who is this malicious stallion?

Side Note:
So sorry this took so damn long. Life and constant procrastinations are a bitch and a half! Hopefully, this chapter and more posts from my other stories will make up for it.

Hope you enjoyed!

~WurkyWilk has left the building…