My Girlfriend With Unconventional Work Hours

by NonAlcoholicMartini

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Fluttershy, Equestria Girls, Profanity, DJ P0N-3
Length: 2097

Rainbow Dash and her girlfriend are invited to a party! Only problem? Rainbow Dash is single.

Rainbow Dash and her girlfriend, whose unconventional work hours she used to get out of previous events organized by her job, are invited to her job's christmas party.
Only problem is: Rainbow Dash doesn't have a girlfriend. And the one person that is free to help her is the last person she would ever want to see: Vinyl Scratch.

Based on (with slight changes) a tumblr post
Tagged teen for mild profanity, I'm not taking chances.

Published 2020-11-03 22:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-03 22:50:00 UTC

I do have one, I promise.

Rainbow Dash hated social gatherings of her job. She just didn't understand them. What was the point? She and her coworkers saw each other almost everyday anyway. The store isn't even that big so all events they had were hosted somewhere else.

So to avoid these unconvinient gatherings Rainbow Dash came up with a plan.

In the past she said she couldn't come due to her girlfriend's unconventional work hours, and Rainbow just wanted to spend the little time they had together!

But then her boss invited all of them to a christmas party, and Dash was allowed to bring her girlfriend since she sadly always had to miss out on these exciting events!

But there is a problem with that. See, Rainbow Dash doesn't have a girlfriend.

Shocking, I know! It's true though.

And now she was supposed to bring her non-existant girlfriend to this christmas party. The simple solution would be to say she can't come, but that would make her coworkers and boss suspicious and ruin her reputation.

So the clear and logical solution is to find someone who was willing to pretend to be her girlfriend for the evening.

"Please, Fluttershy? It's just for the evening!" Rainbow begged her childhood best friend, who only rolled her eyes in response.

"It's not that I wouldn't be willing, it's just that Pinkie and I have our own stuff planned tomorrow night! It's the last day before she visits her family for the holidays and we want to make the evening special."

Rainbow sighed. "I know... Hey, I have an idea! What if-"

"We're not taking Pinkie with us to pretend we're in a poly relationship, Dash." Fluttershy said sternly.

"Fiiiiinnne." The athlete put her hand to her chin in thought. "If all my friend's busy who am I supposed to ask then?!"

Fluttershy shrugged and shifted to be in a more compfortable position on her bed. "There are more people than the seven of us at our school, Rainbow Dash."

"But I don't know those other girls that well! It would blow my expertly crafted cover!" Rainbow made an exxagerated movment with her arms, almost falling out of Fluttershy's office chair.

That made Fluttershy think. Is there even another girl that Rainbow knew well enough to be girlfriend-for-the-evening material? Maybe even actual girlfriend material? This decision had to be perfect, incase Rainbow Dash ends up actually falling for her fake girlfriend! It's the only way this could end, Fluttershy has read enough fanfiction to know that.

"What about Vinyl Scratch?"

Rainbow lifted her head. "Whomst?"

Fluttershy gave her a look only a disappointed mother could give. "Don't be mean, Rainbow."

"Sorry, Flutters." Rainbow scratched the back of her neck. "But there is no way I'm asking Bluejay of all people! She's insufferable!"

"No, she isn't." Fluttershy put the book she was not studying with aside. "You two just randomly decided to hate each other one day."

"It wasn't randomly!" Dash defended, standing up from the chair. "It was a cumulation of a lot of past events!"

Fluttershy decided not question this statement and instead focused on the matter at hand. "You've been with her the most outside of us. Remember that time you two got lost and ended up somewhere in the middle of Baltimare?"

Her friend let out a groan. "Don't remind me! That was the worst two weeks of my life! Not to mention all the homework and missed assignments that piled up until we came home."

"Really? I'm sorry, it kind of looked like you bonded a lot when you came back."

Rainbow felt her cheeks flush red. She started fiddling with the hem of her shirt, which suddenly felt as though it wasn't sitting quite right and no matter how much she tugged she couldn't get rid of the feeling. "I mean... I guess she wasn't as much of a bitch as I thought..." she shook her head. "But that doesn't change the fact that she's still insufferable!"

Fluttershy let out an exasperated sigh. Yes, they would be perfect. "Just ask her."

"Fine..." Rainbow proceeded to pull up her phone and text the colorblind devil in disguise, the nuisance invading her every thought, the person best described as that one carton of milk in a pack that was always expired for some reason, Vinyl Scratch.

She typed and erased her message multiple times.

"How the fuck do I say this." She wondered out loud.

"Language!" Fluttershy called from behind her chemistry text book.

Then, she saw Vinyl was typing and soon two short texts were written in front of her.

Bluejay: "you've been typing for a while man"

Bluejay: "what the fuck do you want?"

Rainbow began to sweat.

"My job is throwing a christmas party tomorrow and I need you to pretend to be girlfriend for the nite."

A pause. Vinyl wasn't typing for a minute, making Rainbow Dash nervous.

Bluejay: "r u serious? like for real?"

"Yeah. I'm desperate."

Bluejay: "i can tell"

"My friends are all busy."

"Did you ask her?" Fluttershy asked curiously, eyeing her from the bed.

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, but I don't think she'll do it."

Bluejay: "sorry had to ask tavi if i'm free"

Bluejay: "i can totally be ur gf for the night"

Rainbow Dash felt her soul leave her body and she flopped herself back down on the chair after it fully vanished. "Oh no, she's doing it."

"That's wonderful!" Fluttershy said, already planning their wedding. Maybe Pinkie Pie could help her.

Bluejay: "wait can i wear a suit?"

Bluejay: "how butch do i need to be??"

For some unknown reason she couldn't fathom, or rather, did not want to fathom, the mental image of Vinyl in a suit made Rainbow blush.

"To your hearts content man be as butch as you want to be."

Bluejay: "epic"

Rainbow Dash turned off her phone and put it back in her pocket, she then bent back over her work sheet, blissfully unaware that Vinyl was unknowingly in the same matchmaker best friend predicament she was in. "Great, now that that's settled, do you know the answer to number five?"

Evening on the next day Rainbow Dash stood, waiting on her front porch for Vinyl. They discussed the details earlier in the afternoon.

Vinyl Scratch was running late, much to Rainbow's discompfort. Was she standing her up? Was Rainbow Dash being stood up by someone she didn't even like?

Before she could whip out her phone and send a very explicit message to her worst nightmare of a not girlfriend, she heard what sounded like a UFO approaching her driveway.

She turned her head to see Vinyl exit her car, fixing last disobeying strands of hair as she approached.

Rainbow Dash was stunned. Vinyl apperantly wasn't joking when she said she would go all out. Her hair was pushed back out of her faces way in a short ponytail and she wore a tight fitting gold-white vest, a white, long sleeved button up underneath with a blue tie. Her shades that usually sat upon her nose were gone and with what she was currently wearing her ruby red eyes stood out from the rest, drawing in all of Rainbow's attention.

"Oh fuck, she's hot." Rainbow thought, her face matching Vinyl's afformentioned eyes.

Vinyl on the other hand took notice at her not friend's reaction and chuckled. "Take a picture it'll last longer~"

"You need to change.", said Rainbow in a higher voice than usual, earning a rather confused stare from her one-night girlfriend. "You're making me look bad." She gestured at her simple sweater and jeans.

The blue-haired menace burst out laughing. "Well, can't make you look good now, can I?"

"You suck." Dash replied, hopping into the passanger seat of Vinyl's car.

The ride to the hall Rainbow's boss had rented out was mostly silent, aside from a few jabs at each other here and there and an almost constant silent war over the radio station.

The actual event wasn't that bad, Rainbow Dash guessed but it wasn't good either. She was just a little bit thankful that the monster with electric blue fur didn't blow her cover and seemed to be able to defend Rainbow's unknown disliking of her boss's social events on the spot (after just a tiny bit of stuttering, which the prysmatic Blitz did NOT find adorable at all), so that plan for the night went swimmingly at least.

And the hot mess of a girl had driven her home too in the end. Rainbow thought this was nice of her aswell. They even had a pleasant conversation in the car about something Rainbow Dash dreaded with every cell in her tiny body: Feelings. Perhaps Vinyl, the harbringer of all that is infuriating, was not as bad as she thought.

Although she figured she never really thought she was bad in that sense, maybe in the past, before that trip to Baltimare, only irritating in the worst ways possible.

Because Rainbow Dash, the flash, the daring hero to all and toughest girl around, liked Vinyl Scratch. She liked her. She liked her in the romantic sense, and she hadn't known how to deal with it and she still doesn't. What was she supposed to do? Suddenly break their endless routine of getting at each others throats at every possible moment? What would Vinyl have thought, had she done just that? And hell, what would others have thought? Rainbow doesn't do feelings, she has an image she is only willing to drop when she's around her best friends. And, Rainbow guessed, for some reason, all too often also around Vinyl.

To Vinyl Scratch, the night had been a rather stressful experience. Trying to not contradict herself, or Rainbow, in her statements and if she did, try to cover it up quickly. After all, she couldn't let her not-friend down. Or Octavia, after she insisted Vinyl wear one of her suits. "Make the others wish they were as 'dashing' as you.", she had instructed her (along with other things about a certain prysmatic eyesore the DJ did not agree to share) and Scratch thought she did quite well.

Yet there was another thing throwing her for a loop, which was the sky blue annoyance illuminating her pale face with a brilliant shade of red that gave her eyes a run for their money.

Vinyl Scratch, too, liked Rainbow Dash. And she had the same problem as her, afraid of what the other thought, to suddenly switch from one extreme to the other at the snap of a finger. Unlike Rainbow however, Vinyl did not care for what people around her that weren't the handsome beauty thought, she would proudly flaunt who she was for everyone to see. She would go to her best friend's nobel gatherings and performances in a hoodie and jogging pants if she didn't insist on her dressing just a little more appropriate than that.

That night had to be flawless to justify a shift in their relationship, Vinyl was here to impress after all. And impress she did.

Over the course of the night the mood had changed. From mild irritation and tension to a pleasant and compforting evening spent in each others company, insults watering down to mild jabs the both of them could laugh at on their ride home.

And now they were back here, standing in Rainbow Dash's driveway, face to face, feelings out and on the table, ready to be properly taken in.

Rainbow's heart raced as she looked deep into her ruby red eyes. "I'm... not sure what to do right now." She admitted in shame.

"That's alright." Vinyl replied. "I don't either."

They stood there, with their forheads leaning against each other.

"... Do you maybe want to kiss?" Vinyl asked cautiously.

Rainbow stayed silent for a second, thinking. A rare activity for Dash. "Not on the lips... not yet. But yeah, I would maybe want to."

The DJ nodded in understanding and placed a gentle kiss on Rainbow's forhead.

And with that they parted for the night, sure to see each other again as soon as time would allow. Both giddy from the evening they'd spent together, arriving home more happy than ever.

Rainbow Dash: "flutters"

"What? I'm a bit busy being a living pillow rn"

Rainbow Dash: "i think i'm dating bluejay"

"Really?"

Rainbow Dash: "yea"

Fluttershy grinned at the message she had just recieved, fanfiction never lies after all.

"That's what I thought you'd say you dumb fucking lesbian"