Equestria's Favorite Princess

by To Be Frank

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Princess Luna, Anon, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 2016

Anon does his civic duty and watches the outcome.

It's that time of year again, where the princesses of Equestria compete to see who the countrie's favorite princess is. How do they determine it? A democratic vote of course. Anon, now a citizen of Equestria, also participates by doing his civic duty.

Warning: contains Anon

Published 2020-11-10 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-10 18:50:01 UTC

Every Vote Matters?

The chilly wind brushed the back of Anon's neck as he walked up the snow covered steps to his home. After fumbling with the key and lock due to his cold fingers, he entered his home with a duck of his head to avoid the small door frame. Small was a trait shared with most of Anon's home: small table, small couch, small rooms and an unfortunately small shower. But he was glad to be out of the cold and home from a days work of odd jobs and various other menial tasks the ponies of Ponyville handed the odd, lumbering monkey.

A lot of jobs he did were frustratingly simply and he often felt ponies simply found easy tasks for Anon so he would continue to have a roof over his head. Just a few weeks ago he had been asked by a pony to wash the windows of their house. Their one story house that was owned by a unicorn and the windows were already crystal clear — a job which paid him 50 bits for about a half hours work. Either it was pity from them or they severely overvalued Anon's work. Not that he could complain however, if he did they might actually try to give him something difficult, like open a pickle jar, or tell a foal that they have now earned the title "Orphan".

Anon took his snow ridden boots off and stripped of his jacket and left a trail of other clothing on his mission to the bathroom to take a nice warm shower. After tripping for the 3rd time while trying to multitask stripping and walking, he had reached his goal and had turned the shower on. And waiting a brief minute he stepped into the tub and relished the flooding warmth covering his body.

Today had been a different job however, as he was at townhall helping set up and repairing (a swift kick to the side of the machine when no one was looking) new ballot machines and other pony tech stuff. It was election time Anon had learned — as he had only been in Equestria for nearly a year now — but supposedly this election was pretty serious, even by pony standards. Which translated to utter bullshit from Anon's perspective, as the election didn't decide who would lead the country to a better tomorrow. No, it determined who Equestria's favorite princess was, as that seemed to be a good use of Anon and everyone else's tax Bits, not that Anon paid taxes anyways.

Anon didn't even know they had these elections up until a few weeks ago, but it was supposedly because they only happened every several years and could only be called by the current favorite princess, Princess Celestia. Today's job had been more frustrating than usual, mainly cause the "government officials" had kept rushing him assuming he was some IT expert when he didn't have a single clue how a god damn ballot machine worked. There might be quite a few ballots that wouldn't have been counted due to Anon's interference. Not that anypony would trace that accident back to him. Still, he felt he did a good enough job to be paid a days worth of money for something he didn't even know how to do,

"That's government workers for you", Anon had mused out loud, interrupting the shampoo bottles heated argument about the pros and cons of communism. After he had finished servicing the ballot machines he took it upon himself to finally vote as the town hall was usually out of the way for him to justify going there for something so minor. He had filled out his ballot and made sure to use one of the machines he didn't service and got his payment and promptly fucked off.

After finishing his shower and getting into some comfy PJ's gifted by his buddy Rarity, he made his way to the living room with a mug of hot chocolate in hand. Once there he plopped down onto the old, small olive drabbed couch and leaned back as it creaked under his weight. It's not that Anon was fat or anything, it's just that the couch wasn't designed for someone of his stature, a situation that was common with most of Anon's household. Anon and his couch were facing a large flat screen TV, something Anon had only recently bought. He was surprised at how quickly Equestria advanced after his arrival, quickly developing television, cell phones and internet. He had only briefly described them to a select few and already they were dominating entertainment and information in Equestria. He was even more amazed by how quickly everyone adapted to this "new" technology, quickly becoming commonplace everywhere in the country.

Realizing he was staring at a black screen, he leaned over to the coffee table to grab the TV remote to turn the TV on. Conveniently, the TV was already on the news station which was covering the election with various bits of information and headlines and with maps of cities and the country on a green screen behind the news reporter. It was a close race between Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.

Anon didn't really understand what either platforms ideals were, and how their ideals were tied to how likeable they were and how it would score them votes. But one thing Anon did know was the constant arguments online, on TV and even outside on how either side hated the other. Things like how Princess Luna is allegedly a racist towards non ponies and how her administration would be barbaric. Anon knew she wasn't a racist, as he was actually good friends with Princess Luna, despite not being a pony. If anything, she might have liked other races a bit too much, bordering on being obsessive with him and allegedly a few gryphons. And a minotaur.

For Princess Celestia however, many ponies often argued over her proposed Cake and Sugar Tax which would apparently run the sugar and baked goods industry into the ground. It wasn't a monetary tax, it was literal. Cakes and other sugar goods would be taxed and some would be directly sent to the government, more specifically to Princess Celestia. Anon knew her well enough to know that this was probably true. He won a fair amount of brownie points by simply getting her a cake when he would go to visit.

A knock on his door brought him out of his daze and with a grumble from him and the light clatter of his mug being set onto the table he got up into his fluffy bunny slippers and went to answer the door.

Opening the door he looked down to see Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship, the third candidate for the election. His marefriend. She looked up at Anon with tears in her eyes and matted fur on her face, "C-can I come in Anon?", she shakily asked, trying to not have a complete breakdown on his door step.

Stunned, with a good idea of what caused the tears in his beloved — the one who welcomed him into the world and helped him settle and come to terms with his permanent situation, he quickly connected with her and their relationship deepened — he welcomed her inside with a quick "Of course," and closed the door behind her.

"You can have a seat on the couch if you would like.", Anon gestured to his run down couch. "Would you like some hot chocolate Twi?"

"Y-yes please. And thank you." Twilight had almost whispered the last part, settling in on Anon's couch.

Coming back with a mug of hot chocolate he sat down next to Twilight and offered the mug which was promptly levitated out of his hands. Knowing the answer he prodded Twilight, "What's got you so down?"

Tears began to form once more, "Why doesn't anypony like me? I've campaigned in each city, participated in each debate, proposed progressive ideas and plans and I'm left on the sidelines!".

Already prepared, Anon begun, "Of course people like you Twi, you're like the best pony I know, and that says something , 'cause I hate most of you guys."

"I thought so too, but not even my friends had voted for me! My own friends that I love and they couldn't be at my side for me..."

"Twilight, you can't possibly know if they voted for you or not, and besides, politics shouldn't get in between you guys, you've saved the world for like several seasons.", Anon had wisely changed the channel from the news to some random cartoon, "My Little Monkey" or some stupid shit like that.

After briefly pausing her sobbing and wiping the snot that had formed around her nose, she continued, "Anon, have you checked the polls? Only one pony has voted for me so far! I don't think all my friends count as a single ballot."

Yikes, Anon thought, how could he make her feel better? She was now openly crying into his shoulder and Anon could do nothing but wrap an arm around her and held her tight. "I voted for you..."

That did the trick, as she had stopped crying and reared back looking at Anon with wide eyes, red and wet from crying. "You voted for me? You mean you actually like my platform?"

"Of fucking course, first of all I love you, second, you've actually got some good ideas in that cute purple head of yours. And third, you're my favorite creature on this planet, so..." Anon was quickly met with a forceful hug around his neck.

"Oh thank you so much Anon! I didn't think anyone would vote for me. But at the very least I should have known you would have my back."

"Hey who knows, you could always make a come back." Anon reached for the remote to change it back to the news, now curious with who's winning.

"Thanks Anon, but I know when I've lo—" Twilight went wide eyed and her jaw dropped with Anon's as he switched back to the news.

"Holy shit, you're winning Twi!", And true enough she was. The news pony was equally surprised as thousands of new votes surged for the third candidate, putting her narrowly ahead of the other candidates just a few minutes before the deadline. Thousands of votes from Ponyville, specifically from the town hall which happened to be using newer, recently serviced ballot machines. Anon pondered if Twilight's friends finally pulled through, but he knew the amount of votes far exceeded the capacity of Ponyville and he knew many would question the same thing. It was too late however for anyone to call a recount as Princess Twilight Sparkle was named the favorite Princess of Equestria, breaking Princess Celestia's 1000 year record, Anon would have to buy Celestia a cake to celebrate her record, as she would no doubt be down about her tax plan failing.

With a stunned silence Twilight simply leaned against Anon, beaming brightly at the TV while Anon held her tight and held her close, placing a kiss on the side of her head, which brought her out of her trance and bringing her attention to Anon. Leaning forward, as did Anon, they shared a kiss which lasted several moments.

After breaking the kiss but remaining close to Anon and staring him in the eyes Twilight started, "Thank you Anon, for believing in me..."

"Of course Twi, I love you... If you believed in me when I first came here, you can be damned sure I'm going to keep believing in you."

Without a doubt there would be questions raised and investigations prodding into this mysterious amount of new votes from out of nowhere. And it may come back to bite him in the ass as he was the last one to service those machines but that was a problem for tomorrow, because right now Anon was sharing one of his rare smiles with the pony he loved, his most favorite pony in Equestria.