Love Breeze

by Rated Ponystar

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Zephyr Breeze, Romance, Comedy, Limestone Pie, Violence, Pinkie Pie
Length: 7964

Rainbow Dash tries to get Zephyr Breeze off her tail by giving him a love potion to fall for somepony else

Despite dating Soarin for over three years now, Rainbow Dash has been forced to constantly deal with Zephyr Breeze's continued efforts to try and woo her. No matter what she does, she cannot get him to take a hint and leave her alone. Unable to take anymore, Rainbow Dash decides that she'll make Zephyr Breeze fall in love with somepony else using a love potion.

She just didn't expect him to fall in love with Limestone Pie.

(Commission for superfun)

If you would like a commission from me, be it a one shot or a multi-chapter story, please click here to learn the rules and procedures for doing so.

Published 2020-11-08 18:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-12-01 21:53:55 UTC

Chapter 1

Usually, Rainbow Dash wasn’t the kind of pony who liked to take the back of the pack when it came to flying. She was awesome and one of the best fliers in all of Equestria. Her mad skills in saving the day from uptight villains and amazing Sonic Rainboom alone proved that she was alpha type material. Still, there were some days when being in the back of your squad's formation was okay. Such as when you were directly behind your coltfriend’s behind and could get a good look at those tone flanks of his.

Faust bless the pony who designed the flight suits to be skin tight, Rainbow Dash thought as he licked her lips. The sight of Soarin’s cheeks, pressed against the blue uniform, was making her heart beat faster than it should. Making sure to turn right with Spitfire’s signal, Rainbow Dash never once lost sight of her real target. That flank is so mine after practice.

Soarin must have been thinking the same thing because he flicked his tail slightly before giving an extra shake to his rump. To the untrained eye, it meant nothing, but for Rainbow Dash, it was a sign that tonight she would be doing some additional training after practice.

When the signal to land came from Spitfire, Dash turned her gaze down towards the landing zone and glided down with her fellow Wonderbolts. Upon skidding to a halt, Dash quickly lined up with the others as Spitfire stood in front of them. “Good practice, team. We’re bound to do well at next week’s show. For now, get cleaned and head on home.”

“Yes, ma’am!” The other Wonderbolts shouted with a salute.

“Dismissed!” Spitfire ordered before flying off on her own. Fleetfoot, High Winds, and Silver Zoom all took off in one direction, but Soarin and Rainbow looked at each other with knowing eyes before flying towards one of the clouds nearby. Soon as Soarin landed, Rainbow tackled him down and kissed his lips with her own. She opened her mouth to let his tongue inside as she pressed her body against his chest. His hooves were caressing her flank while their wings flickered against one another playfully.

“Had a good view back there?” Soarin asked with a smirk.

“Much as I liked seeing your sexy flank at work, I’d think it would be better if there wasn’t fabric in the way,” Dash answered with a wink. “Ponies are meant to fly naked and free after all.”

“Hmm, yes, I suppose we better act as nature intended,” Soarin whispered as he slowly placed his teeth on Rainbow Dash’s zipper on her chest.

He was about to drag it down when a coughing noise made the two stare at each other with wide eyes. Slowly, they turned to an amused Spitfire who was levitating there with her forelegs crossed. The two quickly stood up in attention while covering their blushes with their wings. “Uh, hi Spits,” Soarin greeted with a nervous smile. “Uh, Dash was...uh...having trouble getting out of her uniform!”

“Oh?” Spitfire asked with a giggle. “I seemed to recall that our zippers were on our chests. Not our mouths, Lieutenant. Besides, Soarin, you used the same excuse when Captain Nightbreaker caught us when we were privates.”

“Dang it, I knew I recalled that excuse from somewhere,” Soarin grumbled. “Let me guess. No making out on the clouds?”

“Only the ones we use for training,” Spitfire said, rolling her eyes with a smile. “You two want to kiss, you can do it in the lockers or outside of the premises, but please not on the clouds? The last time a couple did so, they ended up going further than a kiss, and when they were done, the cloud was charged up like a storm.”

“Please, give me thirty minutes with him, and I’ll make it into a hurricane,” Rainbow Dash bragged, which made Soarin sink with both embarrassment and dreamy thoughts.

“Much as I like to see that I’m afraid rules are rules,” Spitfire said, pointing down to the direction of the locker room. “Get moving.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Dash and Soarin answered before flying back down.

***

“I still can’t believe Spitfire is cool with us dating,” Rainbow Dash said, closing her locker. “I mean, you two were a couple once. You’d think she’d be a little pissed off.”

“Spits and I broke up without any drama while remaining close friends,” Soarin answered as he wrapped his blue Wonderbolts scarf around his neck. “She’s dated at least three other guys before we started dating. It’d be hypocritical of her to have a problem with it. Besides,” Soarin walked to Dash and rubbed noses with her. “I wouldn’t trade what we have for anything in the world.”

“Not even for the best pies in the world?” Dash asked, which caused Soarin to seriously start thinking. This earned him a punch in the shoulder. “Jerk.”

“I was kidding,” Soarin teased, rubbing his shoulder. “But speaking of pies, wanna get a bite to eat before we head on over to your place?”

“Sure, how about La Grill’s in Ponyville? They got dinner and dessert outdoors,” Rainbow Dash suggested as the two headed for the exit.

“Hmm, sounds delicious.” Soarin licked his mouth in anticipation. Walking out into the hall, the two placed their wings on top of each other’s backs. A few other ponies smirked upon seeing them pass by in such a close state, but neither was bothered by it. They were happy to show the world how much they cared about each other.

“So, how are your friends doing?” Soarin asked.

“Pretty good. Pinkie and Cheese are still together, much to our shock. Applejack is still bucking apples. Rarity’s on vacation in Manehatten with her family. I think Fluttershy is on a Friendship Mission from the Map with Ocellus and Gallus in Griffinstone,” Rainbow Dash answered before sighing. “Twilight’s still busy with her duties, but she does keep sending letters to us to keep us updated.”

That had been the most challenging change in all their lives. Twilight being a princess had taken most of her time, but they still got together whenever it was possible. Just seemed to be a bit harder some months than others.

“Hey,” Soarin nuzzled his marefriend upon seeing her looking down. “You know that Twilight would rush through Tartarus itself if you really needed to see her. She’s just got more responsibilities, is all. Besides, you six have managed to keep things pretty tight in the last four years. I think you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Smiling, Dash put a small kiss on Soarin’s face. “What did I do to deserve you? Besides being awesome?”

“Hmm, pretty much just that,” Soarin answered as the two laughed.

***

“I’ll take the grilled cheese with extra spicy peppers with hayfries,” Rainbow Dash ordered as she and Soarin handed their menus back to the griffin waiter. “And a small salad, please.”

“Coming right up,” their waiter said before heading back inside the establishment.

Despite being chilly out, the couple decided to take a table outside to enjoy the fresh air. Soarin took a few sips of his root beer before asking, “Do you remember how we started dating?”

Rainbow Dash snorted. “Yeah, you heard I wasn’t a big fan of pies, so you took me to a pie bakery in Cloudsdale demanding I try a bit of every type they had.”

“You refused, of course, until I called you a chicken,” Soarin continued before imitating the barnyard animal with a few clucks. “And then you said, ‘Rainbow Dash isn’t a chicken’ before the two of us started filling our stomachs with pies until we were ready to burst.”

“We got so fat that we couldn’t even fit into our uniforms the next day for practice,” Dash laughed as they two shook their heads in amazement at their silly attitude. “Then you decided to apologize by taking me out for dinner.”

“And that was nearly three years to this day,” Soarin said, smirking as Dash’s eyes widened in realization. “Yeah, not exactly our anniversary of getting together, officially, but the first time we ever went on a real date.”

“Ah, geez,” Rainbow Dash moaned, leaning back against her chair. “Had I know, I would have done something special. I wish you told me!”

“Actually,” Soarin blushed as he rubbed the back of his head. “I only remembered just an hour ago in the showers.”

“Guess we both screwed up, huh?” Dash smirked while leaning forward. “I guess that means nopony is at fault here.”

“Nope, especially when that other pony is a beautiful pegasus with the eyes of a goddess,” Soarin teased as the two inched closer to each other.

“Oh, Rainbow Dash!” sung a familiar and yet annoying voice.

“Oh, come on,” Rainbow Dash groaned as she closed her eyes. She hoped that by some stroke of luck, the one interrupting them would get hit by a lightning bolt and pass out, but the hug he gave her made Dash curse the heavens. “What do you want, Zephyr?”

“What? I can’t greet my dear, beloved, and wonderful looking friend on such a nice day as today?” Zephyr Breeze asked, blinking his eyes toward Rainbow Dash, who looked away in disgust.

“First off, we’re not friends,” Dash pointed out. Nor would they ever be if she had her way. “Second, can’t you see that Soarin and I are busy with some alone time?”

Zephyr turned to Soarin, who was staring at him with a deadpan expression. “Oh, Soarin. I didn’t see you there. You always just seem to be there in the background without anything standing out about you.”

“Gee, thanks,” Soarin growled before pushing the other stallion away from Dash. “Now, if you don’t mind? We’re kinda having lunch.”

“Lunch!” Zephyr quickly dashed over and got another chair from a pony who was just about to sit in it and placed it between them. “Why was I just about to have lunch as well! What a coincidence! Why don’t we have it together?”

“But we were-” Dash didn’t get a chance to stop him as he quickly summoned a waiter and asked for a menu. “Ugh, do you ever listen to me?”

“Of course I do, Dash,” Zephyr said, smirking with a wink. “I always am listening when it comes to you.”

Dash was now very tempted to use her knife and just cut off that mouth of his, but her conscience sadly won in the end. Soarin eyed Rainbow with confusion before she covered his eyes with her hoof and mouthed him to just roll with it.

***

Oh, Celestia and Luna. Kill me now, Rainbow Dash prayed as her annoying stalker just went on and on about all the hair he cut. It was worse than how Zephyr talked about seeing the world while hinting he saw the ‘second’ most beautiful rainbow while in the Changeling Lands. Only to then bump his eyebrows a few times while directing his pupils at Dash.

It nearly made her lose her appetite.

Dash did everything to answer as little as possible while Soarin looked ready to buck him into next Tuesday. To her surprise and disappointment, he didn’t do so. The only positive thing was that Zephyr paid for the entire bill like a “gentle pony,” or so he called himself, should even though Dash and Soarin were more than capable.

“Well, that was fun! Right, guys?” Zephyr asked while dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “What do you say we go ahead and do some other fun stuff?”

“Uh, well, we’d like to, but umm...” Soarin turned to Dash for help, to which she quickly finished.

“We have to head back to HQ for secret Wonderbolt stuff. Top Secret. No civilians allowed.”

“Oh, well, I suppose we can always hang out another day,” Zephyr Breeze said as he got up and flapped his wings. “If you ever want to hang out...or just you, Dash, you know where to find me!”

He took to the skies and flew off. It was only until they were absolutely sure that Zephyr was gone that the two groaned before smashing their heads on the table at the same time. “You’d think he would have given up by now,” Soarin grumbled.

“Him? Yeah, right,” Rainbow Dash said as she lifted her head up. “I swear I’m going to find him standing over me one night and sniffing my mane! You’d think he’d finally get the hint that I am not going to be with him! Especially since I’m with you!”

“Seriously, we’ve been together for three years now, and he still can’t get over it,” Soarin growled before glaring at the direction Zephyr flew in. “What do I have to do? Punch it in his face that he’s not wanted?!”

“Ugh, trust me, that only makes him try harder,” Dash said, knowing from experience. She lost count of how many times she’s put Zephyr in the hospital for a broken nose or black eye. And still, he persisted like it was no big deal. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with him.”

“Hope he finds somepony else to give his obsession over?” Soarin suggested.

“Please, the only chance he’ll ever get over me is if...if...” Rainbow Dash suddenly got an idea. An idea that made her give a very evil smile that made Soarin slowly back away. “Hmm, maybe that could work?”

“Um, what could work, and should I start running for cover?” Soarin asked nervously.

“Don’t you worry about it,” Dash said as she got up and quickly kissed him on the cheek. “I’m going to fix this little problem of ours, and we’ll finally have a moment of peace. I’ll meet you in a few days.”

“Should I be worried?” Soarin asked.

“Of course not! When has anything I planned ever gone wrong?” Soarin opened his mouth. “Don’t answer that.”

“Okay,” Soarin answered before Dash waved him goodbye and suddenly flew off for who knows what. The lonely stallion sighed before signaling the waiter over. “What do you have for pies?”

Author's Note

Thanks to superfun for commissioning me.

If you want to commission from me, please click here

Chapter 2

If Rainbow Dash was being honest, she didn’t know the first thing about potion-making. That kind of science nerd stuff was something Twilight or Starlight did. However, they would never agree to Dash’s idea of making a love potion to drive Zephyr Breeze away from her once and for all. Sure, it wasn’t exactly an ethical thing, making a pony fall in love with some stranger, but Dash was desperate.

Of course, love potions technically were illegal to have or to make except for extreme circumstances. Plus, Dash didn’t even know the first thing about making them. Scootaloo and her friends made one, but it turned out to be some kind of love poison. She may have disliked Zephyr but not enough to poison him...mostly.

No, she needed to do this right, and the only creature who could help her was Zecora. If there was any potion that could be brewed, the zebra could do it. Dashing through the Everfree Forest at top speed, Rainbow Dash skeeted to the ground so fast it caught on fire. After blowing the flames out to prevent the forest from burning down, Dash knocked on the door. “Hello?! Hey, Zecora?!”

Moments later, the zebra opened the door and answered with a curious smile. “Oh, Rainbow Dash. This is a surprise. What brings you here down from the skies?”

“I need your help with something. Do you mind if I come in?” Rainbow Dash asked with a smile.

“Not at all. Not at all. Make yourself at home,” Zecora offered as she stepped aside. “I wasn’t doing much myself. Just reading a tome.”

Rainbow entered the strange wooden tree hut with many of Zecora homeward relics placed around in decoration. She always wondered what the peculiar masks, statues, and charms were for, but the pegasus decided to ask that another time. Turning to Zecora, who returned to her chair, Rainbow Dash eagerly asked, “So, Zecora? Do you mind helping me with something? I need a potion for dealing with Fluttershy’s brother.”

“This is the pegasus that bothers you, is he not? The one always asking you to tie the knot?” Zecora questioned.

“Yeah, but I think I finally got the means to get him off my flank!” Dash proclaimed with her hoof in the air. “I just need to make him fall in love with somepony else! And what better way than with a love potion!”

Zecora raised an eyebrow before shaking her head. “I think my ears deceive me, for I am not sure if I heard clearly. You wish a potion to make Zephyr Breeze fall in love with a potion? And you wish me to make the concoction?”

“Well, not with his family or with me! Or any of my friends actually,” Rainbow Dash quickly said as she lifted herself off the ground. “Just some random pony who is around his age and doesn’t have a special someone in their life.”

Sighing, Zecora walked over to her book of potions, which was on a dark wooden stand. “While it's true, I can make a love potion for you. I sadly must refuse.”

“Aw, but why?!” Dash asked, sinking back to the ground.

“Messing with another pony’s heart is not the right thing to do,” Zecora answered, poking at Dash’s chest. “No matter how much this pony is a bother to you.”

“But Zecora! You don’t understand!” Rainbow Dash groaned as she rubbed her temples. “I have spent years telling Zephyr Breeze to leave me alone! I have spoken to him! Threatened him! Beaten him to a pulp! Thrown him into a lake! Spelled it out to him in the clouds! And even sicked Tank on him to which he chopped off his tail with his helicopter blades! Even after I started dating another guy seriously, he still butts in! This is the only thing I have left!”

“I am sorry, Rainbow Dash,” Zecora said, making her way to her door. “I wish I could assist, but I am afraid that I must ask you to cease and desist.” She opened the door and pointed the way out. “Perhaps there is some other avenue you can explore? Perhaps all you need is to look a bit more?”

Dash just grumbled as she slowly left Zecora’s house and flew back towards Ponyville. Only she had no intention of being gone for long. If Zecora wasn’t going to give her the potion, then she would have to make it herself.

***

Despite feeling bad about doing this, Rainbow Dash wasn’t going to stop until she had that potion. Dressed in a black sneak suit, Rainbow Dash glided her way down from the sky towards the top of Zecora’s home. Her many training sessions in infiltration came into play as her hooves made not a single sound.

Taking a deep breath, Rainbow Dash slowly climbed down until she was at one of the windows. Thankfully, it was unlocked, so all she had to do was squeeze inside and landed as quiet as a mouse. The soft snores of Zecora’s slumber could be heard near her bed as Dash breathed as little as possible. Step by step, she slowly made her way to the book stand that was next to the burning fireplace. Using its warm light, Dash was able to make it across without fear before opening the book.

Page by page, she breezed through with haste. Potion for curing boils. Brew for communicating with the dead. Tonic for rashes under your...ugh, ew. Mental images. Potion for dreamless sleep. Potion for lovemaking...save that for another day. Ah-ha! Love potion!

Taking out her notepad and pencil, Rainbow Dash carefully wrote down all the ingredients and instructions before closing the book. She froze in place when she heard Zecora snort before hearing her snores again and sighing in relief.

Tiptoeing to the window, Dash climbed out and quickly flew into the night with a grin on her face. Too easy! Next up! Making the actual potion!

***

“Okay, a tuft of cloud, a rainbow’s glow, crumbled up birthstone of the pony drinking the potion, three helpings of rose petals, a spoonful of sugar, and boiled in a pot for sixteen minutes!” Rainbow Dash lifted off the ingredients as she watched her homemade potion slowly bubble on her stove. “Now, all I have to do is wait.”

A knock on the door made Rainbow Dash zoom over to open it, only to grumble in annoyance upon seeing Zephyr Breeze on her front door. “Hi, Rainbow. Miss me?”

“Like missing a bee sting in your butt,” Dash muttered before asking,” What are you doing here?”

“I just thought I’d come to apologize,” Zephyr Breeze.

“For what?”

“Interrupting your date with Soarin,” He answered, which surprised Rainbow Dash. “Honestly, that was just rude of me to do so, and I shouldn’t have butted in.”

“Oh...well,” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head. She wasn’t expecting this. “I guess I can accept-”

“I should have just simply asked you out myself! No need to have Soarin interrupt our time together when-”

Dash just shut the door and held back the urge to hide a murdered body at Ghastly Gorge. She was about to walk back to the kitchen when Zephyr’s head popped right in front of her through the cloudy floor. Dash yelped as she jumped onto her nearby blue and yellow colored cloud chair. “Oh please, Dash! Just one date! Let me prove myself to you!”

“How about you get out of here!” Dash cried as she took one of her pillows and pounded him out. He just popped up in another location, causing Dash to scream in frustration before pounding him again. This went on for some time until a tired Dash just sat down in frustration. Zephyr, appearing behind her, offered her some water, which she just threw back at him.

“Oh, come on, Dash,” Zephyr whimpered with puppy-like eyes. “What does Soarin have that I don’t?”

“For one, he doesn’t act like a creepy stalker! Two, he’s actually nicer and cool to be with. And Three, because you’re a creep!” Dash screamed, grabbing him by the wings and tossing him out her window. “And if you come back to my house, I’ll thundershock you so hard you’ll be paralyzed from hoof to ear!”

“One day, you will not deny my love!” Zephyr shouted as he fell down below.

Moaning, Rainbow Dash fell to her couch and grumbled, “How long am I going to have to keep up with this?!”

She soon began to envision her future with Breeze always getting in the way.

***

“Do you, Rainbow Dash take Soarin to be your lawful wedded husband?” Princess Twilight asked while standing in a fancy church where everything had been decorated white for the big day.

With tears in her eyes, Rainbow Dash looked into the eyes of her soon to be husband and nodded. “I do.”

“And do you, Soarin? Take Rainbow Dash to be your lawful wedded wife?” Princess Twilight asked.

“I do,” Soarin replied with a smile as big as Dash’s.

“Then by the power invested in me as Princess of Equestria, I now-”

Crash!

The three ponies looked up only to gasp in shock before a green flying pegasus, in a white gown, landed on Soarin, knocking him out. Zephyr Breeze shook the dust off his wedding dress before posing. “I’m ready to get married!”

***

“Push! Push! One more! Just one more!” The doctor shouted.

“Gaaaaaaah!” Dash cried before finally feeling the baby come out. She sighed in exhaustion as the crying sounds of her newborn foal echoed in the room.

“It’s a boy! You have a healthy boy, Mrs. Dash!” the doctor said as he held a crying little blue colt with a puff of rainbow-colored mane on top of his head.

Rainbow felt tears forming in her eyes as she held her child and nuzzled him gentle against her snout. His crying soon faded as he closed his eyes and dozed off into sleep. With a warm smile, Dash began to rock him back and forth as the doctor began to write on his board. “Do we have a name for the baby?”

Rainbow Dash was going to answer until a voice cried, “Zephyr Dash Jr!” Dash’s eyes widened as Zephyr Breeze rushed into the room and snuggled the two. “Aw, don’t worry, Dash! I’ll be the best father ever!”

Suddenly, the baby started crying again.

***

In Heroes' Cemetery, the grave of “Rainbow Dash,” hero and savior of Equestria, was gathered by her family and closest friends. Tears were shed as the rainbow-colored coffin was lowered with flowers laid all across before hitting a final thud upon the earth.

Unbeknownst to the living, an angelic soul slowly lifted itself off from its mortal shell and began playing the harp in her newly restored youth. With glowing white wings and a shining new halo, Rainbow continued to play and fly at the same time until she made it to the heavens.

There, she landed on the softest of clouds where a giant golden gate awaited her. Nearby, a young white pegasus with a halo and draped in white robes looked at their book on a podium. “Rainbow Dash?”

“That’s me!” Dash proclaimed with a smile.

“Ah, we’ve been expecting you. Welcome to Heaven,” the angel pony said with a grin as the gates began to open. “Enjoy your stay!”

Dash took a deep breath and began to slowly walk in to enjoy her eternal paradise until she found herself tackled by a green pegasus with a halo over his head. “Oh, Dashie! I waited forever for you to die and end up here!” Zephyr Breeze shouted as he nuzzled her cheek. “Now, you and I can be together forever!”

“Gaaah!” Rainbow Dash cried as she rushed over to the stunned angel pony and shook his shoulders. “Send me to the other place! Send me to the other place now!”

***

“Gah!” Dash cried as she shook her head to get rid of the images. Thankfully, her stove went off, and she rushed to her kitchen to find the pot boiling with a rose-colored liquid that was giving off steams shaped like hearts.

“Finally,” Dash sighed in relief as she turned off the heat and started pouring the potion in a small squeeze bottle. “With this, I can finally get Breeze out of my hair once and for all.”

***

With the potion in hoof, Rainbow Dash tried to figure out where Zephyr would have gone after being kicked out. She tried Fluttershy’s cottage first, then Sweet Apple Acres, and town square. She was getting impatient until somepony mentioned seeing him at Sugarcube Corner. Arriving in a flash, Dash slowly landed in front of the bakery before making sure her disguise was on: a black trenchcoat, black fedora, and a mustache.

With a heavy breath, Rainbow Dash entered the establishment where she spotted Zephyr Breeze lazily finishing a raspberry milkshake with Pinkie Pie in the process of making a second one. Dash quickly made a table and pretended to be reading from the menu but kept an eye on her target.

“Almost done, Zephyr. You’ve really been hitting the milkshakes hard today. Rough day?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh, just another day of failure of winning my one true love over,” Zephyr muttered as he sipped the last of his drink. “Oh, what cruel winds of fate caused me to fall in love with such a goddess of the skies that denies me time and time again?!”

“Well, it's nothing that another milkshake won’t fix. Here you go!” Pinkie Pie said as she bounced over and placed it in front of the depressed pegasus.

“I’ll have in a minute. I’m just going to use your restroom first,” Zephyr said before heading for the nearby washroom. He stopped in place and then began sniffing around. “Hmm, my Dashie senses are tingling.”

Dashie senses? Rainbow Dash cringed.

“Eh, must be nothing,” Zephyr said before closing the door behind him.

Seeing her chance, Rainbow Dash double checked to make sure Pinkie’s back was turned before flying over and pouring the love potion in. Laughing sinisterly, she darted back to her table and smirked. Too easy!

A few minutes later, Zephyr Breeze walked out of the bathroom and made back for his stool on the counter. Rainbow Dash bit her lip in anticipation before a bright and smiling pinkie pony got in her face. “Hi, Rainbow Dash! What’s up with the disguise?! Oh! Are we playing a spy game?”

“Pinkie! Shhhh!” Rainbow Dash cried out as she ducked Pinkie under the table. “Listen, I need you to pretend I’m not here!”

“But why?” Pinkie asked before gasping. “Are you playing hide and seek?! I love that game!”

“I....yes, but I need to make sure I’m not caught. Can you do that for me?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Okie doki loki!” Pinkie Pie said with a wink as the two got back up. “I wish I could play too, but my sister’s coming over to see Maud and me.”

“Your sister?” Rainbow Dash asked just as the door opened. She turned to the entrance and saw Limestone Pie walking inside with her usual angry expression.

“Pinkie! Where the hay were you?! I waited at the train station for five minutes, and you weren’t there!” Limestone yelled.

“Sorry, Sis! I guess I lost track of time!” Pinkie apologized before bouncing over. “You wanna get a snack before we head over to Maud’s?”

“I’m not hungry. Besides, I want to see those new shale stones that might be good for the fa-”

“OH, MY STARS!”

To the surprise of everypony in the room, Zephyr Breeze suddenly appeared before Limestone, with his eyes sparkling and hearts coming out of his head. Limestone raised an eyebrow. “Uh, who are you?”

“Oh, my dear, who am I?! I am the one you have been waiting for all your life! You are the one I have been dreaming about! This meeting is destiny come to fruition as I gaze upon you with my heart, beating like the drums of heaven bursting with joy for the gates of salvation are upon us!” Zephyr Breeze spoke with vigor.

“...what?” Limestone asked.

“What heart has cupid pierced me with to see such a sight and wonder before my very eyes! What gentle soul comes before me to steal my heart and take me away! Tell me, fair lady, what is thy name!” Zephyr begged as he got on one knee and started kissing a freaked out Limestone’s hoof.

“Aw, I think he likes you, Limestone!” Pinkie cheerfully pointed out.

“What?!” Limestone shouted as her cheeks turned red.

“Limestone! The foundation of love itself! That which warms the earth and tenders her children with protection and care! Such a name of power and passion that could only belong to one as beautiful as you! I, Zephyr Breeze, do proclaim you to be such a loving being that none shall have you but I! Say you will be with me and none other, and my heart shall be your slave forever!” He cried as he took Limestone into his embrace. “Oh, kiss me, darling! Kiss me and enslave me with your chains of beauty!”

POW!

Limestone smacked Zephyr Breeze so hard he sailed into the kitchen as a crash of pots and pans. “Get away from me, you freak!” Limestone shouted as she rushed out of the room.

Zephyr jumped out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon in his hoof and a pot on his head. “I shall not give up on you, my love! Tally ho!”

He dashed outside as Rainbow Dash just stared at the scene and realized that maybe she went a little too far on the potion.

Author's Note

Thanks to superfun for commissioning me.

If you want to commission from me, please click here

Chapter 3

Seeing strange sights in Ponyville was something most had grown used to by now. After all, when the Spirit of Chaos was a regular visitor, dating a certain pegasus near the woods, you didn’t really get phased by much anymore. So when ponies saw Pinkie Pie’s sister running away from Fluttershy’s brother, screaming about words of romance and destiny, ponies just shrugged and went back to their everyday lives.

Limestone didn’t know what this pegasus’ deal was, but all she wanted to do was get as far away from him as possible. Zephyr Breeze, to his credit, had only kept up with her no matter how many objects she threw at him. Chairs from a nearby restaurant, bricks from some construction ponies, dishes from a stand selling used dinner utensils, and even a confused mail pony with a muffin in her mouth. Zephyr Breeze dipped, dived, and dodged all that was thrown at him like an expert gymnast. He even did it without his wings.

Seeing a nearby market stand, Limestone rushed over and kicked down a wheel from a cart containing watermelons, hoping they would slow him down. Indeed, they fell and began to roll around the street, causing ponies to trip and splatter themselves with watermelon all over them. Zephyr Breeze managed to get his two front hooves on top of two of them, but he soon balanced himself and flipped himself on his rear hooves while using his new transportation to get right next to Limestone.

“Limestone! Can’t you see that I cannot stop rolling towards you! You are like a magnet that guides my heart at every turn!” Zephyr shouted with hearts in his eyes.

“How about you roll off a cliff!” Limestone shouted, skitting to a halt.

Zephyr Breeze looked back as his beloved went the other way but then returned facing forward to find himself smashing into a fruit stand. He fell face-first into the grapefruit section as his hindquarters stood out while he was trapped. A blind elderly pony slowly walked up with his saddlebags before placing a hoof on Breeze's right rump cheek. “Ooh, these fruits really are thick and juicy.”

Limestone, seeing her chance, rushed out of the market area and made her way further downtown. She noticed her home of her sister’s friend, Rarity, and knocked on the door in haste.

“Um, hello?” Rarity asked, opening the door. “Limestone? Why are-”

“No time to talk! Need to get inside!” Limestone shouted as she forced her way in before closing the door and locking all the locks.

“Really, just because you happen to be Pinkie Pie’s family doesn’t mean you can just barge in here without an explanation,” Rarity pointed out.

Limestone took Rarity by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Look, I’m being chased by some maniac, and I need to hide out here! Either you let me in, or I’ll bury each of your dresses so deep in our farm you’ll need to use a jackhammer to get all the dirt and rocks off!”

“Um, okay. Please make yourself at home,” Rarity nervously muttered as she pointed to her fitting room.

Sighing in relief, Limestone walked inside and took a moment to relax. “Nearby was a couple of dresses that she found to be way too colorful for her taste. She preferred working without them, unlike the rest of her siblings, who like to wear clothing. “Still, I wonder what I would look like with them on?”

“Oh, I think you would look lovely in blue, my dear.” Limestone froze as she slowly turned to Zephyr Breeze, now wearing glasses, and checking the dresses personally. “It would go so well with your mane. Oh, and this ruby dress would go great with your eyes. But this is the one that I think works best for you.”

He pulled out a wedding dress and smiled. “Well, what do you think?!”

“Gaaaah!” Limestone Pie screamed as she ran to the other end of the house and smashed her way out of the store, leaving behind a big hole.

“Oh, come on! What am I supposed to tell the insurance ponies about this?!” Rarity shouted, gripping her ears in frustration.

***

Limestone didn’t know how far she ran, but she was pretty sure she was at the other end of town. Gasping for breath, Limestone tried to look for someplace to hide and just ran into some somber-looking building with a giant flowery wreath as a decorum for its door. She shut the door closed and ducked into the nearest room, only to freeze upon seeing just where she ended up.

It was a big empty room with many chairs, flowers in pots, wreaths, baskets, pictures of angels playing harps, and a giant casket at the end of the room. “Well, at least I didn’t enter during an actual service,” Limestone muttered as she made for one of the chairs near the casket and sat down.

“Hopefully, that idiot will have quit by now. I swear I’m dead tired at this rate,” Limestone said.

She then heard the creeping opening of wood. Feeling a tingle in her spine, Limestone looked over her shoulder to see the top opening of the casket slowly open until Zephyr Breeze rose up and smiled. “Don’t worry, Limy. We shall never part in life or in death. I am yours forever!”

Limestone’s reaction was to slam the casket shut with her hooves and lock it with haste. Using her incredible strength, she picked it up and ran out of the building, using her rear legs to walk. Seeing a nearby graveyard, she burst through its gate and looked around. Spotting an empty hole that hadn’t been filled yet, she rushed towards it and dropped the casket inside. Using her farming techniques, the rock farmer began to fill the grave with dirt before finally putting down a nearby rock as a tombstone.

Sighing in relief, Limestone slowly fell to her back and laughed. “Finally...he’s gone...”

“But never forgotten.”

Limestone’s eyes widened, and her pupil shrunk. She slowly turned her head to see Zephyr lying right beside her with a smirk. “Hiya, cutie.”

“FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!” Limestone shouted before she was off again, with Zephyr hopping away after her.

***

Limestone had never run as fast as she did in her entire life, but her limbs were starting to burn up. The annoying pegasus didn’t stop following her or shut up as she continued to flee. Realizing that she needed to get to an area where he couldn’t possibly enter, she found a nearby public bathroom and headed straight towards the ladies' room.

Slamming the door behind her, Limestone quickly found an empty stall and sat down on the toilet with a heavy sigh. “Finally...”

Wiping the sweat from her brow, Limestone wondered what to do next. She couldn’t live in a bathroom forever, and she didn’t know how long that freak was going to be waiting for her outside. Still, I should at least get some water from the faucet. I’m thirsty.

She felt her face turn pale upon seeing a smiling Zephyr Breeze right outside of the stall coming out of the stall. “...Why?”

“Unisex bathroom,” Zephyr Breeze said as he walked over to the door and opened it, revealing the sign that had both a male pony, a female pony, and a mix of both on the door.

CRASH!

Zephyr Breeze watched as Limestone burst out of the nearby window and continued to run. He then stared at the open stall and shrugged. “Quick bathroom break, and then I follow.”

***

Limestone was growing desperate. She had been hiding and running from Zephyr Breeze for over two hours now, and she was beginning to lose energy. She needed to escape Ponyville entirely, her sisters would understand, but the next train wasn’t for another four hours! She tried to find some way to get out of town until she saw that someone was renting a hot air balloon near the edge of town.

Rushing over, Limestone asked the salespony. “How much for the whole thing?!”

“Uh, it’s for rent, now ownershi-” His voice died down when Limestone threw him a bag of bits almost as big as he was. “Um, thank you?”

Limestone didn’t even bother to reply back. She just took a nearby helmet, climbed in, and released the sandbags one by one. Her balloon slowly floated into the air while she used the gas to light the flame that sent her higher and higher into the air. Once she was a reasonable distance in the air, Limestone sighed in relief.

“Finally, I’m out of here.”

“Honeybun, if you wanted to just go for a ride in the sky, I could have provided that,” Zephyr Breeze said, flying right beside her while winking at her. “Oh, will you please just stop running and go out with me?!”

Limestone smacked herself upon remembering what race her stalker was before grabbing a nearby parachute and jumping out of the balloon. “I’d rather be paste, you freak!” She dived down, narrowing her eyes as she saw the town’s square nearby—a perfect place to land.

She gritted her teeth and pulled the cord...only for it not to work.

“What the?!” Limestone pulled it again and again. “Oh, you have to be kidding me!”

Ponies down blow gasped upon seeing the flailing earth pony falling from the sky, unable to stop herself. Pinkie Pie pushed through the crowd and gasped. “Limestone!”

“I take it back! I’d rather not become paste!” Limestone screamed.

Rainbow Dash, who had followed Pinkie Pie, was ready to leap into action, but to the surprise of all, a green comet swooped in and grabbed Limestone just as she was ten feet away from the ground. Limestone, who had covered her eyes at this point, slowly opened them and expected to see herself with a golden harp and halo. Instead, she felt a strong set of arms holding onto her as she was gently placed down on the ground.

Turning to her savior, she gasped upon seeing Zephyr Breeze stare at her with concerned and gentle eyes. “Are you alright, my love?”

“Um, yes?” Limestone said, blushing. She yelped before she found herself taken back into his hooves bridle style. “I said I was fine!”

“Regardless, I shall take you to the hospital and make sure you are checked out! Tally ho!” Zephyr shouted as he took off into the wind with Limestone complaining that she could walk.

“Phew, thank goodness he was there to help save Limestone! What a caring colfriend he is!” Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

“Pinkie, they aren’t even dating yet,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.

“Oh, they will! They indeed will,” Pinkie Pie said with a wink. “I just wished he took a sip of that second milkshake before he ran off. Now I gotta throw it out.”

“...wait, what?” Rainbow Dash asked, eyes widened. “He...didn’t drink the milkshake?”

“Hmm? Oh, he was about to until Limestone walked in. Why?”

Dash just stared at Pinkie with wide eyes and an open jaw.

***
Meanwhile, a certain gator with no teeth was looking for its master because it was feeding time, but she wasn’t around. Seeing as Pinkie Pie was nowhere, he decided to try this milkshake that was left all on its own for nobody to use. Using his long tongue, he tipped it over and started to drink its contents.

“Hello? Brother, are you here?” Fluttershy asked as she entered Sugarcube Corner. Angel Bunny was on her back, looking annoyed that he had been brought here against his will. “Oh, where is he? I thought he would meet me here.”

She then noticed Gummy near the counter and walked over. “Oh, hello, Gummy! Is Pinkie Pie in? She told me my brother was here and I came to...um...” Fluttershy tilted her head as Gummy’s yes started to glow pink for a few seconds before ending. “Um, are you okay?”

A split second later, Gummy had tackled Angel Bunny off her back and was nuzzling the stunned bunny on the floor. He cried out in terror as he kicked Gummy off, but he then dived again for the rabbit, who hopped out of the store like his tail was on fire. The toothless gator went right after him with a bounce and hopped as Fluttershy tilted her head.

“Um, what just happened?”

***

Needless to say, despite the hospital staff saying Limestone was fine and didn’t need any treatment, Zephyr insisted on having her at least given some kind of care. For once, Limestone didn’t complain because said pegasus was massaging her hooves on a comfy bed while sipping a glass of lemonade.

Sighing in relief, she looked at Zephyr and felt a small blush coming towards her cheeks. “Um, thanks. For saving my life.”

“No need to worry, my love,” Zephyr said with a beaming smile. “I would gladly save you from a nest of angry dragons if it means that you are safe.”

“Yeah, about that...” Limestone sighed before looking at Zephyr in the eye. “Look, I get you think I’m...attractive and all that, but could you just tone it down?”

“What do you mean?” Zephyr Breeze asked, tilting his head.

“That whole over the top sappy romance talk! You’re acting like a total jerkwad by sounding like that! Girls don’t like boys who speak and behave that way!” Limestone shouted before rolling her eyes. “I mean, have you tried that on any other girl in your life?!”

“...Well,” Zephyr Breeze rubbed the back of his head. “Kinda? I mean, I always thought-”

“Whatever you thought was working is not working! Just be...I don’t know, normal without all the fancy Romeo drama stuff!” Limestone pointed out. She crossed her hooves. “Otherwise, you’re going to remain a single pony for the rest of your life.”

Realization seemed to enter Zephyr’s head as he rubbed his chin before raising an eyebrow. “So, do you think you can show me?”

“Huh?”

“Show me how to be less...like I act and more...what you were saying?” Zephyr asked.

“...I’m not sure I’m the best to teach you, but I guess since I owe you my life, I can try,” Limestone said before turning away. “....Over lunch.”

Zephyr’s eyes turned to stars as his wings flared open with joy. “Really?!”

“Yes, but nothing weird! And I lead this date! Got it?!” Limestone shouted, pointing at him.

Saluting, Zephyr nodded. “Yes, my dear. I swear.”

“Good, and it’s Limestone,” she answered, shaking her head. “Now get back to massaging my left hoof.”

***

“So Zephyr is out of our manes once and for all?” Soarin asked, snuggling next to his marefriend in her bed. The two had a perfect date to celebrate the fact their little stalker finally had a marefriend.

“Yeah, who would have thought? Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie’s siblings? And I didn’t even need that stupid love potion,” Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

Soarin snorted. “Just promise me you won’t be using potions again? Weird stuff tends to happen when they’re used on ponies.”

“Oh, so this potion of lovemaking that I made was a waste of my time?” Rainbow Dash asked, pulling out a small blue vial of glowing liquid.

Soarin eyed the vital and then at Dash before smiling. “Well, maybe one more wouldn’t hurt.”

Author's Note

Thanks to superfun for commissioning me.

If you want to commission from me, please click here