Staggering thoughts

Chapters

One more drink
Was So Not Worth It
An Apology
A Mutual Connection
Clashing Perspectives
Crippling Loneliness
Mind Alone Was Gone
How Did I Get Here?

One more drink

What am I doing?

Those four words kept bouncing off the walls of my head as if expecting some kind of answer but the only thing that came as a response is the burning in my throat, the stillness of my body, and the grip I had around a cup.

"What am I doing?" I said loudly into the clean polished oak wood.

"Do you expect an answer?" A gruff voice spoke close but not visibly shown, though to be fair my head is on the counter so I can't really see anything.

"Oh right, drinking!" I slurred while having a small bubbly laugh, I pulled myself upward with a little bit of lost balance but I totally nailed it.

"So fill fer up" I slammed my cup but due to the knockback force I almost fell out of my chair but thanks to my quick thinking I brought the stool with me, heh, good job me. As soon as I started to put up the chair back the gruff voice spoke again but this time with a body to boot!

"You just blacked out and you still want to drink more? I'd say the safer option is to go home." The pony that came with the gruff voice was pouring the drink while speaking. He had a white shirt with a black vest over it and had a black bowtie to boot with the familiar appearance of a waiter but with the twist of short sleeves and a gray coat underneath all of it and y'know, a pony.

"Hah," I laughed while getting back up the stool but with some bitterness. "no home, no home to go." I sat on the cushion and put my hooves on both sides of the cup to hold it steady and looked into the liquid with some sadness. The only thing that it had was my own reflection but even then it wasn't my own, this thing, this body was not me. I mean it is but...it's not the one I had before, where I made all the mistakes, the heartbreaks, the pain I caused, the one that held all my dreams and nights thinking about what I was going to do or what to do, plans of recovering my horrible deeds and do great things! I lifted my drink, "Down the hatch, I guess"...all gone now, maybe for the better.

"We- erm, I'm sorry to bother but is this seat taken?" A feminine but soft voice spoke behind me but I gave it no attention but a response, "Nah" Then? I drank and soon I felt more better, I think anyways.

There was a noise, small clip-clops then a small almost unnoticeable sigh of relief but it was noticed, I heard it but then again why care? She's probably just anxious about drinking, "Bartender, could you get me some water?

"Sure thing" the stallion in penguin form said while turning back to fill a cup. The new pony then turned to me, "I'm sorry to have eavesdrop, but you said you had no home?"

"Yeah, no home" I looked endlessly at the drink for a little while before I gulped most of it.

"That must be very sad and forgive me, but surely you have some relatives or family members with you, right?"

I chuckled a bit before I spoke but I don't know why, it was mostly hollow of any real humor or emotion "no, no family, just me".

"You sure you wanna be telling her that? She could be here to kill drunks." The bartender, only now coming back to check on my drink and put down the strangers spoke.

She moved her attention to him and seemed calm for such an accusation and by her face she seemed to take no offense to it. "I can see why you'd think that but I'm merely trying to learn more about him".

I looked at the bartender, "Heh no problem, I don't care for dying now." I said in my defense

"Whatever you say" The bartender replied while turning to move across the counter to serve some other drunk with some unease and I kept my gaze on the bartender but I saw a flicker of light at the corner of my left eye.

The other new mare however didn't seem so unfazed by the words.

"So you really don't care if you would die now? If you were suddenly to die now? That wouldn't have mattered to you? No regrets?" She spoke curiously but with no real worried tone just simply prodding with questions for some reason she seemed somewhat, fascinated?

I turn to her but didn't find any reason for the flash, maybe a trick of the lights. "Heh Nah, I came to drink my problems, either I die from drinking too much or not drinking enough."

The mare looked at me as if trying to wage my bluff but I stood there looking back with a pretty plain look.

"I can see you're serious, so why not drink this," she said while sliding a mug of what looked like water with her hooves to me.

I looked at it for a bit, the substance looked like water but could be entirely something different but hey if it kills me then it kills me, "Works for me" I pulled up the mug, I've been stuck in this world and a lot of what I see isn't anything I've seen before and what I do recognize is something completely different so, why not assume that'll kill me, but I stopped for a second to raise my eyebrow and looked at her, "Will this kill me instantly or slowly?" She laughed but signaled me to drink but I guess I found it a little funny too, and she stopped to look at me deeply before smirking.

"Why don't you find out?"

Now looking at her face to face her eyes showed the most beautiful deep blue and purple with infinite depth and wisdom, I heard the saying that the eyes were the gateway to a soul and I never really gave it a second thought but, right here? At this moment? I felt like there were decades of time and love and peace with those eyes, sorrow but beauty held no restraints.

I shook my head to get rid of this moment and just shrugged and chugged it down, beggars can't be choosers, and I was begging for death.

Then my vision cleared up and my mind was actually working at the moment and I actually realized who I was talking to, light blue fur with a dark purple mane, and in all honestly she was kinda cut- No, I close my eyes for a bit then opened them for a bit to get another look and she had a smile on her and it was sorta..nice but I immediately closed them when a blaring pain that came into my head like multiple small pinpricks were jamming their existence into my head and I tried to shut them out but it came to no use, I guess I'm turning sober, wait-FUCK, DAMNIT RANDOM STRANGER.

"You know if you wanted to be morally right about raping then you should've at least ASKED" What I said was probably dripping of sarcasm, that and pain.

I heard a giggle from her and I probably would've thought it was kind of cute IF I WASN'T HAVING A SPLITTING HEADACHE.

"You will be completely fine soon enough, the hangover should end very soon."

"You know UGH you know this would b-AGH pretty funny if you were all dogs because then you'd-FUCK, have a proper title of being a BITCH" escalated to pinpricks to a train ramming itself into my skull.

ThAT BITCH. GIGGLED. That was supposed to be an INSULT.

And then all at once, it stopped, It felt nauseating.

"Oh I see it's stopped, now we can talk properly," that BITCH was so smug about her results to the drink.

I wobbled but I stood on my fours to give that bitch a punch or hoof or WHATEVER

"Walk properly too, Let's move this conversation outside." She walked to the front entrance with the double doors and walked out.

AND SHE'S LEAVING? TRYING TO ORDER ME AROUND?

"GET THE F- Oh, oh god" The nauseating feeling REALLY kicked into high gear now and that was the only thing that could really control me, the bad thing is the bathroom was too far for my state and I can't exactly throw up in the bar so the only chance was...was, I looked where the mare trotted, the front entrance to the bar, well fuck, might as well kill two birds with one stone.

I wobbled and trotted over to the entrance outside immediately found a snow-covered bush and unloaded my stomach and of course, a nauseating familiar feminine giggle could be heard and if wasn't throwing up I'd probably gag because of it by now.

"We've seen this potion at work many times ere, stranger but never this fast and this extreme, pray to tell, is this due to your diet? Or some other effect at work?" the previous female bartender spoke

THAT DOES IT, I AM GONNA GIVE THAT WOMAN A PIECE OF MY MIND.

I threw up, a lot "BLAgh, hah, Blegh, listen, lady, next time you make SOMEONE GET SOBER OUT OF THE BLUE ATLEAST ASK FIRST"

"Someone? So the magic repulse was right."

"I- What?" I turned around to see her with a smug expression

She started to trot over to me with a serious face staring me down, "We had a magical disturbance appear a two weeks ago thus a dimensional gateway opened to bleed some cretin as well and due to our connections we could isolate chaos and magical relics and follow down to the most possible conclusion and scour through location after location, now the question isn't where are thou, tis what, what do you plan to do to our ponies?"

"What? OH, What?, Did you expect to find your knight in shining armor?"

She pushed me into the wall with her blue highlighter magic so immediate alarms saying I said something wrong and now scared for my life and with a bonus of 'you're fucked' by staring deep into my eyes.

"OK! OKAY! I GET IT NO JOKES NO JOKES" My heart was racing.

"We thought thou said thou wanted to die but we find that hard to believe with thou being so frantic"

"Well to be fair you're a woman that just slammed me into a wall so if anything you should at least take me on a date first before trying to force me onto my death bed"

BAD BRAIN BAD BRAIN She pushed me harder into the wall

"SORRY SORRY, IT'S A DEFENSIVE MECHANISM"

"Tell us how thou has crossed dimensions and thy nefarious plans otherwise we plan to gift thy another splitting headache but rather more discomforting and permanent"

"ALRIGHT RELAX, we can talk about this in a steadier approach, right? We can act civilized?" She looked deep into my eyes then relaxed her grip then her magic dissipated and I fell down on my fours like an idiot with immediate pain and imbalance.

"Agh fuck, nice greeting, do you threaten all your existential life forms, or do you just like me?" I spoke with some discomfort and sarcasm.

"Speak and we won't have to show thou" she starts to light her horn which I take as an immediate SHUT UP ERIC.

"OKAY OKAY, so to answer your questions one, I'm too much of a wuss to off myself quickly, that's why I drink, two, I don't know how I got here, I sorta slept and woke up here, uninteresting and vague I know, three, my only plan here is to drink, I have no plans to take over the world or whatever so please just don't make me throw up again, I kinda wanna keep my lunch or what's left of it anyway."

Her horn glowed a bit but then dissipated, "... you're telling the truth, it's strange we-" she looked like she was beating herself inside for a split second before regaining her stoic look, "I never thought you'd look like a pony."

"This wasn't my original form, I was actually an ape, but more evolved I guess?."

Well that took her for a bit of a loop if her being stunned was anything to go by "Huh, that's, quite hard to understand within the realm of imagination"

"Yeah, listen since I'm assuming you found me and all that you're part of a government and all could you make sure I don't get sought after? Like some kind of pardon or secret cover-up?"

"That can be arranged." She was taken for a pause, probably from the pace of our conversation and how I was avoiding yknow violence.

"Thanks, don't worry I imagine I'll disappear into the crowd and die off silently so don't worry about me doing anything."

I trotted away now with being sober I guess I just keep walking until I find work. But that annoying voice called out to me and made me stop.

"Strange gentle stallion, what is your name"

"It's Eric, yours?"

"Tis Luna"

"Huh, neat" I began to continue walking away but clearly she had other intentions if the flash of light in front of me with her popping up told me anything.

"Eric, I'm sorry for the rude introduction but I have a few more questions."

"I mean you did just threaten me and drugged me somehow and also very well harassed me but suuuure, but seriously sure, I'd be scared of a random alien invading my kingdom too so I sorta understand."

"Thou seemed so serious about thy own death, why is that so?" Her tone and expression showed genuine curiosity and intrigued by what seemed so obvious to me.

"Heh" I actually chuckled a bit, it obviously seemed so obvious to me since I was the one dealing with it, I had completely forgotten what it was like to be the one looking on the outside, I wondered how helpless and out of touch I really was with reality, "I've uh, made some mistakes, more than I'd like to recall and less than I can actually fix, I feel, helpless with it, I feel like the problems and troubles I've brought and caused sorta," I took a second, I looked at her eyes and somehow they conveyed a feeling of empathy, longing, and maybe even compassion? I was at a loss for words after I saw her eyes and seemed so attentive and patient with me, I realized I was holding my breath and just sighed as my body sagged, feeling my body truly live in the moment. "I'm a lost cause really, I've done too little and wasted so much and I feel like the scale is tipped, what I've done and can do are at odds and there's no way I can truly put more weight of good I can do or even balance it, I feel lost, there's no more worth to my heavy soul and I hope I can at least atone to some sins before I regress and become less than who I was. I feel like being here is a curse that I deserve, some glimpse of what a world could be with real good and love, a show to what my hollow soul can't, even in the smallest fraction, equate to." I looked back at her and only found empathy, I realized how much I monologued. "A pretty big rant for a simple question huh? I guess I'm kind of overdramatic."

She shook her head but somehow in her eyes she understood or at least that's what it felt like "Mmm, maybe so but we can not say we are any less different" I turned to her to see some kind of glimmer of light on her, she bathed in the moonlight as if some kind of beacon of hope, but I wouldn't go as far to say that, just convenient timing, especially for someone like me that's scraping at the bottom of the barrel at this point with hope.

"Glad to be part of a club, was that the only question?" I spoke with an unamused expression with some kind of sarcasm I could spit out, but I was overall too tired to keep up the energy she was putting down now.

"No, but we think it would be better to have more over at the castle as we would be able to beseech thee for more answers, that is if thou has no abode to betake oneself "

I pause for a bit to weigh my options, go with a complete strange horse that has been tracking me for months, or walk away free and just blends in with the crowd, "while very intriguing I would like to be at my own home before I'm brought to bed by a mare such as yourself" while yes very tired I am now able to come with some wit, good job me.

"Does thou have such a fear of being overpowered by a much more fearsome partner hm? We surely would have thought that an alien such as thee would have much more tenacity rather than that of a foal to a challenge"

Oh, she did not just call you a wuss, if she wants to call me out why don't I give her a bit of her own medicine! "While flattered WE are of the proposition you hold I- we clearly are not worthy of such honor"

"Thy words wound our heart, we truly bleed"

Oh yeah, Eric 1 horse 0 "Shows you" man if there was any point to be smug about beating a horse it would be now.

"Tis true, our heart aches for the fact you haven't realized we know you do not have a place to call thy abode" she smile that shit-eating grin that was sorta kinda cute but I would never admit kind of way.

"Well-I, fuck, how'd you know?" I fully gave in, I really couldn't keep my energy going for much longer and less of a fight means being closer to a warm, nice, cozy bed.

"If thee would remember we have stated such a search for thy location, we have known for a while from afar but with thee being so close to civilians we were met with an ultimatum, also you have stated such when we met"

"I don't remember anything from earlier since y'know just becoming sober and all, still fuzzy"

I barely just registered the first part fully, they've been stalking me? "you were stalking me?"

"Precisely!" She seemed a little too giddy at the accusation, was I first? Oh god, I shivered at the idea that I had to ask or the fact that she was not deterred at the question.

I sighed, let me rephrase that, I took a very long life taking sigh that probably made sure I wasn't going to make it to my forties, if I was still 23. "So, what now? I take a golden chariot to the doors of heaven and get judged by my good deeds and sins?"

"Thy overdramatic, the chariot was not called in yet so It may take a while before you are taken off your hooves, although I will admit I thought tis the stallion's job for something so romantic"

"Pah, if you recall a certain 'Luna' was making me throw up my insides not any later than 10 minutes ago"

"In our defense, we did not expect for thee to have so much inside" She raised her head high with her nose in the air out of disgust or distance to hide her obvious avoidance of actual responsibility.

"Thanks that makes me feel sooooo much better" I rolled my eyes and gave the most sarcastic tone I could give to really sell the act I appreciated the concern. There was somewhat of a pause before I spoke up again "Well since we'll be a while, wanna grab a drink?" While everything was very bizarre and odd, I thought, what better way to forget this all by drinking!

"We would usually not take the chance but since we are waiting and thy truly no concern for a threat, we will appreciate the offer and rejoice" she seemed to have relaxed and let herself go for a bit but I wasn't about to let that sly comment go by unnoticed.

"No concern of a threat huh? Is that a fact?" I raised my eyebrow at her, I was smirking, this horse didn't know what she was dealing with.

"Tis true, after such weak hooves to handle such companionship" there her shit-eating grin, was back but ten times wider and more bait.

Oh, that bitch really did it now, "well then how about we handle this with a drinking competition, first to drink more before the ride comes wins and doesn't have to pay for drinks" I smirked, that little horse body wouldn't be able to handle anything, especially with such a nice figure.

"Ho-ho! Thou truly are a stallion after all! Our battle will be legendary!" She was surprisingly giddy, filled with determination and fire in her eyes like never before and I was the one willing to put out that fire.

"Bring it" I responded tenfold of the strength and will she had in her eyes and she took the bait! I get some free drinks and make her look like an idiot!

Author's Note

Originally meant to be a one shot but SOMEONE HAD TO MAKE ME HAPPY IN THE MOMENT AND MAKE ME WANNA WRITE MORE OF THIS STORY >:(

Was So Not Worth It

A void, that is all I could describe in my situation, a bleak, black, and infinite void. Why was I conscious of this? I could not tell you, I feel like this place was the transition piece to a dream or the waking realm, a sort of purgatory? No, purgatory would be more of a place to become better, it's more like limbo, an endless state of no real evil but no real happiness, at least that would make more sense for why I'm here. I don't remember how I would've died though, it feels like I'm in a dream state, where nothing is truly real or physical-

"AH!" I was pulled into a surreal feeling of being swapped into reality and as of course, as a normal person would after feeling like their reality was shattered, woke up and immediately sat straight up with fear still stinging in my body. But the only thing that greeted me was a bright light, I covered my eyes with my right hoof, trying to adjust my eyes to the light while also feeling the effects of immediately sitting up which let me remind myself, to never do.

Why was there a light? Was this what death was like? I squinted my eyes and got enough time to truly understand where I was, I was in a bed? A blanket was covering me, silk, soft, smooth with no real signs of wrinkles or stains, strange. I looked around while still holding my original position while still groggy but found that the room was for the lack of a better term, empty, it had a dresser, a bed (I obviously am on), a flower vase filled with two purple flowers, and two doors. I, I don't think I got laid and this certainly wasn't my apartment, I don't remember anything, this is gonna annoy the hell out of me.

I should explore at least, if this was some saw shit someone would already have informed me, I paused for a moment.

Why? Last night as much as I can recall I was just out drinking again and I wasn't much in the mood to live so, alternatively, I could just sit here and wait out the storm, eventually someone would come for me and It would sort itself out later.

I sighed, obviously, I need answers before I step into something more troubling and, with my past record I wouldn't count myself so lucky. I took more into my surroundings and found it was actually quite, pleasant, the scene placed in front of me was warm sunlight glowing beyond the drapes and a sliver of sunlight escaping through the thin veils of the window curtains, the scene was actually very calming and somewhat put me at ease. The smell was quite pleasant, I assume from the flowers, was rather a nice aroma, it was hard to describe, it had some smell of orange but also blue raspberries although slightly different, it was odd and there was definitely more to call out but it was calming.

I should feel worried or scared but this scenery, this place, this room, felt so normal, so comforting, and just downright worth more than I was, when I see something like this, I get a little homesick back to when I was younger where everything was done so neatly, where my parents were- no, I shake my head to get these thoughts away, I shut my eyes and refocus, no matter how nice or longing this place is like to me I have to find out why I woke up here, a random girl in a bar would definitely not bring someone like me to her fancy-schmancy way of life.

I move my torso to the left to step out of the bed, damn I miss the warmth of it already, I'm about to take my first step when I realize what I was actually putting out, a short horse limb, a pony, but really I saw no difference, but for some reason seeing it just there, my body really moving and it reacting with it at the same time.it seems so unreal yet so stable, I sometimes feel like my mind will give way and when I sleep...I'll flatline, that somehow these past two weeks would be all a fever dream, a sort of moment where my mind makes some kind of place before I die out before my body leaves the real world I so long, for now, I want to cry, I've wanted to cry for so long, to yell, to scream! But I keep moving, I have to, I can't stop yet... But then, what's the point?

I hate that nagging feeling, those whispers of my voice gnawing at my anxiety and fears to some greater unknown, "Goddamnit" I sighed again after I spoke, this shit is not getting any easier, got to keep it up just for a bit longer. I take that one step, then another, and now I'm walking on all fours, strange to be in this sorta style of ~~walking~~ trotting but then I'd be the one who looks strange huh? I feel so out of place here walking around on both my legs and feet, really weird also how does hygiene work over here? I stopped my questioning to realize I only had two options, open the door in front of me where the dresser and the vase were nearby or take a left and find out what door number two had.

I was visibly a little teensy bit nervous I mean who wouldn't! I just got drunk last night and wake up to a nice bed and room (which isn't mine) and have two fates outside of two doors in a magical world that could possibly teleport me to otherworldly horrors' which could still be SAW related! I sighed for the millionth time, I rubbed my forehead with the frog of my hoof which was the only nice soft part of my unorthodox limbs, well hooves. I'm distracting myself again, I mentally noted to keep that on the minimum next time I may be in a SAW game.

I moved my hoof back on the ground and realized something, there were window curtains, right? I turned to the right side of the room to realize there was that a stray beam of light that was still warming the sheets now; that means there should be a view of the area right?

I hesitate before I make my next steps towards the window, it seemed so, odd, a nice warm place with a comfortable space completely contrasting from my lifestyle, all while picking ME of all people to take, I mean I'm not rude but still, much better options to take home, or you know, to kill, could still be a possibility but more so jokingly. I look around before I move then keep a slow walking pace to feel out the area, nothing seemed off or wrong but I still kept my clopping to a minimum, I moved my head sideways to grab the thin opening with my teeth to pour out more light to move for a full view of the world outside all in a smooth motion.

What I saw amazed me, first I was blinded by the sun's radiance which I knew because after my eyes slowly adjusted to the light I could see it was where the sun should be, but secondly, there was a whole city underneath me, shops, homes, restaurants, businesses, it was all surreal. Sure I saw ponies passing by and working but this was completely different, the sample I had was 10 percent of this sight, hundreds, thousands, millions of ponies moving by and working in motion, ponies were moving in and out, a donut shop was nearby having a rush hour while a restaurant was getting slow traction of movement, carriages being driven by ponies for other ponies flaunting their luxury and riches all while keeping their heads high. It was, strange, I mean sure ponies seemed to act like humans but to see it in effect this much, however far I was from Creek Ville was just, bizarre.

I need to recollect my thoughts, I rubbed the sides of my head next to my ears with my hoofs, so I traveled all the way over here in a horse body that has his hair and tail like a sugar cane strip add to the fact it's body is pure snow white with bags under its eyes, which makes me look like an addict just waiting to happen, in a weird horse world where I drank last night from Creek Ville and now in a- wait a minute.

I look to the bed, then to the vase, the dresser, then to the window. I look over the window once more and look out to see the city underneath me, I look at the border of the window, inside is wood with a nice light color maybe oak due to the sunshine, the exterior of the window was quartz I think, I look out and to the left, I saw the rest of the quartz, why would someone put this much effort-the building that I could see..it was a castle, it was a fucking castle.

"Oh fuck" I said out loud, like really, fuck...WHAT? OK OKAY calm down breathe take deep breaths, I slowly tried to calm my nerves and steady my breathing, so to recap, last night I drank so much I was probably completely wasted and now woke up to a nice bed that is now confirmed to be the property of someone royal, important, or a God, and while that last is a little ridiculous, at this point literally I'd believe anything at this point.

Fuck, no really, I fucked up.

WHAT THE HELL DID I DO THIS TIME?! THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY THINGS THAT I COULD'VE DONE HORRIBLY WRONG. Calm down Eric, calm down, okay. So the least I could've done was either fuck a princess or go so drunk they felt pity for me while the worst I could've done is spilling the fact THAT I'M AN ALIEN! AGH okay okay Eric you need to keep it together, maybe they haven't found out, or maybe they're going to run experiments on you GODDAMNIT WHAT DID I JUST SAY, ugh I need to think to clear my head a bit.

Just then I heard a few footsteps, clop steps? Goddamnit Eric this is no time for joking, I looked around to anywhere I could hide, I hear the sound coming closer to the door near the vase and dresser but I don't wanna test my luck on the other door especially with how bad it's been, fuck, I could jump out the window and risk fracturing or breaking my bones-

The doorknob began to move with the latch bolt letting go, fuck it, going underneath the bed, I slid down with my hooves out and my stomach on the ground, the friction didn't feel great but better to hide from possible doctors wanting to dissect me.

The door opened and all I saw were hooves but I hard clanking with the movement so I'm assuming they are wearing armor.

"Wake up Eri- what?" I saw the horse with white fur move with the voice looking around a bit but another voice chirped up, most definitely coming from his companion of black fur.

"Maybe he's in the bathroom" black fur moved to the left doorway to knock with his hoof, "Eric, Princess Celestia has requested to meet with you as well as Princess Luna" shit, okay see a castle with princesses means double down on bad shit. The white fur came over to speak his piece.

"..I don't hear a response, do you think he's out?" He pushed his hoof to the door and it opened effortlessly, black fur voice spoke back "Buck, I knew we should've had one of our guards here, go inform the others to search the place! We can't fail the princesses otherwise they'll have my head" white hooves galloped at pretty surprising speeds but black hooves stayed, for a second I was wondering why he was staying until a beam of cyan light shined onto the floor showing hoof prints, now due to my limited experience of watching forensic shows at 11 pm this means I'm fucked, he while still spewing out the light show onto the ground tracing my steps. Fuckfuckfuck, I only got two choices, run like hell or get caught by the worst possible enforcement in this world where I'd get hanged most likely, fuck.

I kept a few seconds to weigh my options but didn't realize until too late that black fur over here already caught onto my hoof prints and looking to my right where I dove under was the black unicorn, face to face, I scream and booked it with scampering out under the bed and galloped, but low and behold up ahead was a couple more guards coming by so I quickly stomped my feet onto the ground to lose traction creating some friction on the carpet and fucking booked it backwards but again black hooves was there, luckily there was a third option, the right hallway, and thus ran for my life, I ran through corridors and corners and doors all a blur to me as I ran for my life but I soon noticed my speed was slowly burning out my energy and that fucking black fur guard was slowly catching up to me, I tried to gain more speed but I was completely out of my league, the guy was a well trained guard being in a horse body for who knows how many years trained under the law of protecting two princesses while I, a human that just got barely the hang of properly learning how to drink without looking like a dog licking his bowl, was barely at this whole fucking pony thing.

I was reaching two big double doors when I was tackled by some guard and assuming all the black around me I could guess it was coal hooves, we tumbled out of the doors all the way rolling like a ball of limbs inside the room and me being pinned down to the marble floor, I knew this because my face was having a very intimate relationship with the floor currently while the big naughty gift from Santa was pushing me towards the said ground.

"You gave us one Tartarus of a run, Eric, not many ponies can outrun a guard for that long." He pushed me further, fuck it, if I may go down might as well quip.

"I'm more interested that you could run in the first place, your friends couldn't seem to catch the second wind through all those doors" He smirked and I, of course, was more than happy to give him a shit-eating grin.

"General Brisk, I believe we have informed you that we would like our new guest treated with the utmost kindness you could muster, did we not?"

"Y-your majesties!" He switched his tone from satisfaction to worry immediately and he swiftly took a few steps back, changed his pose to all fours, and bowed towards the voice. I actually was able to move up to look up who just saved my ass and damn did it just keep getting weirder. In front of me was a long table covered with a white cloth, decorated with purple outlines but that wasn't the weird part, the weird part was the tall horse with white fur looking oh so fluffy with rainbow ethereal flowing mane seated in a rather tall chair while at the end of the table, another purple tall horse with fluff (but not as much) with a purple flowing mane. I could not make this shit up even if I wanted to.

General Brisk had risen from his bowing stance, "Well y-yes but well, you see there was quite the commotion over at his guest room" he was stiff, everything of his body language told me he was speaking to his direct superiors and I was his audience.

"Hmm," the white horse clicked her tongue, "I assume this mess will be explained quite thoroughly on your report, correct?"

"O-of course your majesty" he bowed again.

"You may leave, tell the other guards we would like some more privacy of this room and to bring the chefs" The purple horse spoke up from the end of the table.

"Of course Princesses!" General Brisk once again bowed, I don't know how his back could handle it but he managed to trot backward and close the door with his hooves while leaving, I heard some other footsteps but they soon stopped, probably his squad catching up.

I was kind of shocked, okay shocked would be an understatement, I think I just messed with royalty and now they require a private meeting with ME, I'm actually freaking out inside now, WHY AM I IN A CASTLE?! WHY DO THEY WANT TO TALK TO ME SPECIFICALLY? WHAT DO THEY WANT?

While screaming inside I stopped as soon as I heard someone clearing their throat and turned to see the tallest white horse I've seen ever in my life.

"So, you're the Eric I've heard so much about?"

I kept staring at her, I mean it's basically a giraffe that had a baby with a horse and somehow survived getting birthed along with magical powers of big wings and a horn.

"I-I uh, you're a tall horse" I was completely enamored by the sight of her creation, I mean it's like all the pony types I've seen fused into one and decided to fuck nature and give her long neck for shits and giggles.

"Excuse me?" She looked shocked and slightly angry, shit I guess that's like a racist slur or something offensive over here.

"I-i uh mean you're a pony," I looked to her face but kept looking at her neck and to the body back and forth, "a really big pony, you're like a plush toy made to life" I reached out with my hoof to feel her fluff but before I could I was wrapped completely around a magic yellow aura.

"Hooves off, I know you may not be completely accustomed to our customs or society but that is an egregious action to take, especially when you're just meeting a pony" she looked rather sympathetic but still overall displeased, wait egregious?

My eyes widen, "O-oh shit, was that an indecent sort of thing?"

She slowly placed me back on the ground and spoke with a smile and stifled a laugh, "not quite, but still, rather something kept merely to close connections"

"O-oh uh I'm sorry, wait what do you mean 'not be completely accustomed'?" I immediately had my suspicions high, if this goes where I think it's going I might be screwed.

"This might be better discussed over breakfast, besides lulu hasn't really been eating healthy recently"

"Pah, I've been eating bananas Tia" Dark purple horse began to bite back with that passing comment, she seemed tired.

"Peels Luna, peels" Tia had a raised eyebrow and a non-impressed look.

"W-well it's not my fault that they taste better" Luna half-assed a rebuttal back to her sister.

Tia laughed, while I would've found this rather comedic but I was still in shock of seeing royalty that specifically wanted me, I slowly began to step back, "Well uh, you guys seem fine without me so I'll take my leave" I turned towards the door but before I could take a step that familiar yellow glow of warmth came to surround my body.

"Nonsense, we have much to talk about, Eric" Tia's horn glowed with the yellow hue and smiled with a pleasant smile but all I could think was what was behind that smile, she levitated me to a spot over at the table and picked a chair from out of my view and sat me in it, "besides, I'm sure you have many questions yourself" she spoke oh so pleasant with soft and kindness but it felt off to me, waking up to a castle from a previous night of binge drinking had red flags all over even if she was just drinking tea.

I was really out of my element and I decided to just go for it, throw all caution out the window, "Okay, let's cut to the chase, did I fuck either of you? Or promise to wed one of you?" Tia actually spit out the tea she was drinking and the Luna tried to stifle her laugh but inevitably failed and let it all out, laughing heartily. She went from laughing to cackling to wheezing while the white horse is still recoiling from my question and I was just extremely worried I had said something that would get me hanged.

For a while neither of us said anything while Luna was dying of laughter, mostly because Tia was still in the shock phase due to my own stupidity and me, being afraid of death as punishment.

It took a while before Luna was able to actually contain her laughter and a few more seconds to give the first word out of the table, "T-thank you for that, Sire" she kept trying to keep her composure but it was a losing battle and not one she very much cared for at this point by her body language, "Phew, Tis was a treat to have laughed that hard in a millennium, Tia was always one to have, what do they use the analogy, ah, 'a stick in the mud'" Luna actually tapped her hoof onto her chin while taking a jab at her sister.

Tia was finally able to fully comprehend what was going on and refocused on the situation if her shaking her head was any indication. She looked surprised though, she actually looked at me with a bit of shock for a second before moving her attention to Luna, "Luna, you're doing it again" Tia spoke with a smile and warmth behind it.

Luna actually blushed which was a first but, kind of cute, "Oh, Our-my apologies" she started to look down at the table, fiddling with her hooves.

It was a full second before Tia went back onto the main concern I spoke of but she seemed, much more calmed and slightly, Happy? "I'm sorry if my earlier reaction, I haven't had somepony spoke to me with such forwardness before and as to answer your earlier question no, you did not 'wed' either of us nor anypony for that matter, and your first question has the same answer"

"Ah" I responded with acknowledgment and couldn't put out more of a response, I was more so shocked at how she recovered so well to my question, I for sure thought I was screwed but she seemed to have responded with such warmth and kindness I couldn't imagine she heard me before.

"Well then, I think it's time we start ordering something for food before the morning is gone, don't you think?"

I was stunned by the change of mood and pacing, at first I thought they were going to hang me but now? Now they were treating me as a guest, they were laughing, enjoying each other's flaws, why?

Luna's bashful expression slowly left as she regained her composure "Of course, Petunia!"

A pony, maybe a girl judging by the long eyelashes, with gray fur and yellow eyes with a chef hat and a chef's attire slowly opened the doors and peeked then came through, "Yes, Princess Luna?"

"Did you bring the kitchen staff?"

"Well I would've but," she began to move to a few feet then seemed to shrink a bit under the princesses "most left due to the recent news of an...alien creature"

I cringed a bit at that, now everything was clear, they know, I looked to Luna expecting some kind of a shock to a ruse being destroyed but when I saw her eyes she seemed, displeased? Sad?

"Ah..I, see, well, I will attend this matter myself" She began to scoot back her seat to stand on her forelegs but Tia actually moved from her seat and Petunia shrank a bit more from the movement,

"Luna, while I am also disappointed by this I think it's better we order food before making a move, don't you?" She looked into Luna's eyes but Luna held firm.

"I can not, in good conscious let this slide sister,"

But Celestia held her ground even more, "Luna, I know how much this is important to you, please just eat, for now, I will take care of everything afterward but we have a guest I'm sure you've been waiting to greet him."

Luna opened her mouth for a second and seemed conflicted like she wanted to say something but kept it in, she seemed to accept the defeat and sit back. Tia actually looked happy that her sister followed her advice but she turned to Petunia with disappointment in her eyes.

"Petunia"

Petunia was shaking, "y-yes Princess?"

"Would you be able to fill our orders before we get to this problem in the castle?" Tia spoke with the same amount of stone face I'd expect from a political figure, clearly being royalty came with its perks, you know, besides being rich and having staff and kingdom.

"Of course!" Petunia immediately straightened up and trotted over to the table taking out a notepad from god knows where "what would you request your majesties?"

"Hmm" Tia started to tap her chin before deciding, "I think pancakes should suffice, what about you Luna?"

Luna seemed still sour on the earlier subject but gave a response nonetheless but not without a sigh first "I will have waffles"

Petunia wrote her orders and began to move but Tia raised one of her hooves, "I think you forgot somepony very important Petunia"

"I don't understa-" Before Petunia could speak any further Tia used the same yellow aura before to shut her mouth.

Tia moved her direction of focus onto me next, "And what about you, Eric?" She spoke with interest and curiosity in her eyes and when I looked at Luna she seemed to have held the same feelings in her eyes,

"I uh" I sunk into the chair and let my candy cane hair fill a bit of my vision, "maybe, some hay fries?"

Author's Note

Originally was going to be much longer but I wanted to get a start on another story which could be released soonish, I'll be making chapters on this story often though so don't worry

An Apology

The silence was deafening, I wish I could've done something other than squirm but I was under the vision of both royalty and a chef so overall pretty awkward.

"Or you know, I could just have some pancakes too?"

No response to the clearly stunned princesses, "Or nothing at all?" I sunked even more in my chair. I wanted to keep going as small as I could physically just to get out of the situation.

Tia was the first to move, ever so slowly though, she shook her head and moved one of her hooves to cling onto her forehead. "...No it's, fine, I'm so sorry, again I must remind you that while I have been around my ponies it's been so long since they have spoken so.. forwardly. Having a pony want some hay fries from a rich royal kitchen is quite, the sudden change of pace, no frivolous wants or flaunting. I have no idea if this is due to cultural differences but.. thank you, Eric. I feel I have gained some insight into my ponies and yes hay fries shall be fine, isn't that right Petunia?"

She turned to her main chef and found her just as shocked but recovered as soon as she was addressed.

"Of course Princess!" She began to move quickly to another door that she didn't come through.

Luna got out of her shock to speak her piece as well. "I must say, I am surprised as much as my sister, to hear a pony order something so, common is quite the change from what we usually hear."

"Is that bad?" I lowered my head and pinned my ears to my head.

"No no, far from it," she began to move her hoof to signify it's fine, there was a big pause however and Tia seemed a little tense.

Tia seemed to have a bit of trouble coming into a subject she had in mind. "So, Eric"

"Y-yes?" I was slightly scared mostly for the fact I could be put into the dungeon at any moment or the fact that even one of the princesses was a bit tense over something.

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

"N-not really? Did I do something wrong?"

"Not at all, my sister actually wanted to apologize for what she did"

"W-what did she do?"

"Well, let's just say she got a tad, presumptuous"

Luna had moved up from her seating and stomped her hooves onto the dining table. "Could you blame me? I was expecting to find an abomination of timber wolves, griffon parts, and a changeling."

"Luna" Tia warned

Luna had given in to the warning. "Yes I know, Eric, I humbly ask for your forgiveness, the spell I used to make sure you don't have a hangover, also mayhaps delay the connection to your memories of that night, meaning it will come to you but that's why there's a lapse in your memory for now. I acted in haste and I know there may be no reconciliation to it but I still will ask for forgiveness and do whatever I can in my power to mend the issue." She moved away from her seat to actually bow to me.

"I uh," I used one of my hooves to rub the back of my head, this was strange all together from being in Creekville drinking to suddenly royalty bowing to me and asking for forgiveness. It felt like everything I was expecting just flipped on its head. "I may not remember it at the moment and while truth be told I am freighted by the whole air of mystery on what happened, I feel it's important I want to respect and forgive your genuineness"

"Truly? Do not feel as though you are forced, Eric"

"I..have made many mistakes myself, many I wish I could be so easily forgiven from. This may be a long shot, I may be jumping the gun to accept so quickly while not remembering it all together but," I shut my eyes to feel the situation out just a bit more, there's a lot of things I wish I could say but I need to keep it consistent and formal. "I feel like at any point that forgiveness is something that should be passed, I'm not internally bleeding nor dying so I can say I'm fine overall. I may not like what you did at the moment or maybe even reconsider my forgiveness but in the end, in the end. I want to make sure it's mended and protected, I want to forgive you no matter what."

A throat was cleared and when I turned it was Tia who had jumped in, "Sorry for the interruption, Eric but that seemed more open-ended"

"Right, sorry, I uh go on tangents like that, what I mean is, whatever you've done doesn't seem to have hurt me really, and while that may not give you enough to clear your name. You stayed, you took me to this palace, made sure I was alive and well with a whole bedroom and guards to keep me safe and even now you offer the hand to keep giving this kindness. Now, this could be customary for people you may do wrongdoing to or even a protocol to keep me here just in case, I'm sure you already know I'm not from here obviously. But... I appreciate it, listen I won't pretend like I know how things go around here, for all I know you could kill me later on with a public execution, but so far? You've made me feel sort of, alive, at home, to hear a sibling squabble, that can't be faked. it makes me feel like I'm not too far from home and I thank you infinitely for that." I moved out of my own chair to bow at her.

"For once, I feel like, I'm not entirely missing out on the world I once was, death may be certain and I don't know what comes next and really uh, I am scared but you two have completely subverted my expectations, feel free to prove me wrong along the road." I raised my head to find Luna smiling as she had undone her own bowing.

"Thank you, Eric," Luna didn't seem so bad now seeing this side of her, I don't think whatever she did was too bad.

"That is, surprisingly very reassuring" I turned my head to find Tia had spoken that.

"So uh, what's next?"

"What's next? Well now we wait for our food. I'm glad we had went over this discussion as soon as possible, Lulu has been something of a lost puppy ever since."

Luna had given Tia a death stare, "I have not!"

Author's Note

Oooo new chapter? Whaaaaat?

Also sorry for such a long wait, I think I may be having writer's block but not completely sure. Anyway I will try to write more for you all!

A Mutual Connection

Tia hummed softly, "I think I remember a certain night pony being in a mopey sort of mood for her recent actions~" she finished her sentence in a sing-song form.

Luna however wasn't taking this all too well - she blew raspberry and raised her hooves frantically in the air. "Tis Blasphemy!" She faced me before speaking, "Do not listen to my sister Eric." she turned to her sister with sharp squinted eyes, "She speaks nothing but lies!"

Everything felt so off I mean I was expecting to be taken out and thrown six feet under and yet...here I was just having a royal breakfast with the two immortal leaders that practically ran the world.

It put a smile on my face, this whole thing has been so odd and twisty turvy it actually made me think I was being so ridiculous for thinking this was going to end me. The sisters both stopped as my mirthful laughter reached their ears.

They looked at each other before joining in with giggles and huge smiles, this moment was sorta peaceful in so many odd ways that it felt right.

"So getting the obvious out the way, why did you guys- er, Princesses do this for me?"

Tia found the question odd. "What do you mean?"

Luna found it just as weird to ask. "We are quite lost on the meaning as well"

"Well um," I fumbled onto the thoughts and words with my anxiety swelling a bit, "why do you treat me so uh, normal? I mean the cat is out of the bag-"

Luna got concerned. "A cat is out of a bag? Where?"

I chuckled a bit at that, "I mean my secret is out...I'm an alien and I have no right to well be here."

Tia paused for a bit, "why not?"

Not what I was expecting. "W-what?"

"Eric, whether you intended to or not which we think not, you have been thrown from your home to here with...less than healthy habits of coping." She gave a small smile with a sad look, probably about my drinking.

"We understand the feelings, my sister more so and well, we feel like we must give some grace and peace in this meeting."

Luna stayed quiet after that mention.

"Wait this is a meeting? Is that why you've been-"

"Ah," she raised a hoof to stop my sentence, "Eric do not mistake our respect as a misguided ruse. We truly just want to show we have no negative intentions even if our staff have well, shown little less than that."

"So... this isn't a trick?"

"Of course not, Eric we simply want to understand what's clear and not, we want to help."

I- wow, that was just a lot.

"So... uh, wow um wasn't expecting that but I'm-"

"Alien? Yes well, I have created a kingdom on harmony, trust, and equal values so..." Tia cringed a bit before continuing, "I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt."

"...huh I guess that makes sense, sorry I'm a bit new to the concept of well- hospitality..."

That raised an eyebrow from Tia, "New to-...hospitality?" She was saddened by the statement alone but seeing her sad like that was just- I didn't want to stick onto the subject and decided to change topics.

"Uh anyway, I was kinda wondering what happened last night?"

Luna stiffened at that mention while her sister recovered from the old topic and just gave a small smirk with her eyes looking at Luna.

"Yes," Tia put an elbow on the dining table to use her hoof to hold up her head while shifting her weight to lean forward to her sister. "What DID happen, dear sister." She smirked deviously with a teasing tone.

Luna was flustered. "W-well i-if you m-must know-"

The doors open to have the chef come with plates. "Food is ready princesses!"

Luna was relieved to see the petunia, "Ah yes petunia!"

Petunia put a platter of food in front of Tia and when she came to put down Luna's she was taken by surprise into a big hug.

"Huzzah! Food has arrived!" Luna lowered her head to Petunia's, "Did I ever tell you that you were my favorite?"

Petunia blushed at that, "O-oh, never princess.." she spoke meekly.

"Well, today I rectify that notion!" Luna kept a forced smile while feeling the burning stare from her sister, but Tia had other plans.

"Ahm, sister... I believe you were telling us what happened last night. Remember?"

Luna cringed at that, "a-hah of course! But what of our food? Can't let such pleasantries go to waste with a g-guest of this high of honor, can we?"

Petunia finally was able to get out of the grasp of Luna to place down my plate of hay fries.

"Well, that is why you'll be telling the story while he enjoys 'such pleasantries'" Celestia grinned at the teasing of her sister's use of old equestrian vocabulary.

Luna however just cursed under her breath before continuing, "I-...fine, you have won this one sister but we will crush you next."

I just munched on the fries while all this happened, it's decent fries.

Luna turned to me before continuing. "Well Eric, how much do you remember?"

"I just remember that last night I went to a bar and drank" I scrunched up my nose, "...a lot."

Luna hesitated before continuing, "do you- remember anything of vomiting?"

I was caught off guard. "Woah I threw up?" I mean wasn't the first time but-Oh god, "I didn't throw up on you did I?" I cringed at the thought.

Luna giggled at that, "No, I was sent to the bar to inspect who you are and what your intentions were and so happens you were in a bar. I woke you up with a spell that I had put within a cup of water which you had accepted, I planned to wake you up so to speak."

I was taken aback. "So you-...drugged me?"

Luna looked like she just hit a puppy, "No- well yes but it was important! We had confronted you and you spoke as if all of it was a joke. We were worried thy intentions would be soiled with evil."

Me joking? ...never mind I could see that "Ah, makes sense but uh what about afterward?"

Luna looked more happier with the afterwards part. "Ah well after that encounter ended you had proposed a bet of drinking while we waited for a chariot to come."

"So...did I win?"

"Hah! Win? Against me? I am sorry to say Eric but even with your unusual origins you were somewhat of a sour loser, clinging onto me speaking nonsense of accusations of cheating."

Fuck that does sound like me, but being a goddess horse should totally be considered cheating. "Shit that does sound vaguely familiar..."

Luna giggled at that before continuing. "And then you were sent to the castle and given a guest room, speaking of which, did you like the flowers?"

"What flowers- wait you mean the scented purple ones?" There was only one flower vase in that room but I needed to make sure I wasn't an idiot.

She hummed "Mhm they are lavender, said to calm one's spirit and revitalize the body."

I smiled softly, "Oh... that's sweet of you." I didn't give it much thought but that was really nice of her.

She was surprised that I even said anything about it. "Oh...you're welcome, we rarely are given thanks for something so small."

"That's a shame... things like that really should be more appreciated." Really was, small acts of kindness that were the sweetest.

Unbeknownst to me, Tia cringed at that.

Author's Note

Been rough to get those creative juices going but I want stuff being put out but! In return you shall receive more wholesome Luna moments.

Clashing Perspectives

"Luna while I know you're happy to talk to Eric, I think you've left out some vital context." Tia seemed serious which was odd for what was a pleasant conversation.

Luna froze at that processing what her sister said before turning her face grim and facing me. "I- Eric I may have skipped my actions before we became familiar with each other."

"Uh, what happened?" My anxiety spiked at the thought something went wrong.

"I- I want you to know that the time we spent, was pleasant beyond compare and had me enjoy the night. I only want this to be known before I tell you of what happened."

"O-okay?"

Luna sighed before continuing, "The night I confronted you- I had a disguise and- I had pushed you against the wall to make you get serious-"

"WHAT?"

"It was to make you take the situation seriously! We did not know whether you would be a threat and-" Luna sighed, "I'm sorry Eric, we had come to you with worst of intentions only to see a kind soul that was lost."

All of this was surreal, I turned my head to meet Tia. "Wha- what am I supposed to say to that?" And then it hit him, last night when she was pounded to the wall, leaving a dent in the brickwork as his back ached. And her eyes- they showed nothing but distaste and distrust. Eric slowly pushed himself away from the table, trembling at the mere thought he was that close to being probably killed right there. His head pounced with memories flooding back, the way she did something to his drink as he was on his last leg, the vomiting, the threats she was giving, how she walked to me like she was about to slice my head.

Eric shuddered and started to tremble even more at the prospect of it all.

Luna put a hoof on my shoulder "Eric We-" but I swat at it, taking distance at that moment, "D-don't touch me, please..."

Her expression told it all, the pain, the hurt, the regret. She whispered, "I'm sorry..." I had to take a few steps back as I started to hyperventilate.

Everything has been absolutely gone to shit since I've gotten here! Being put on this damn cartoon-like world with no help, no support, no family or friends, and me just struggling out there! I got a job to help with shipment because someone felt bad for me! I felt it all building up and I tried to keep calm, I tried! But this is just ridiculous!? Getting drunk to be taken by a princess without my consent? Being drugged? Having no way to defend myself against royalty? I staggered, my stomach feeling viles building as my body could barely take the situation completely... I felt it build up to my throat and before I fainted I saw the horrified faces of them all-

I opened my eyes to feel movement to my right to see a familiar face, a human, not just any human, Sarah... she spoke but it was a blur, a garbled mess that I couldn't make out but somehow knew the result was.

"I'm not drunk?" I spoke- those words... they felt familiar as if I spoke them before.

Her face contorted to that of anger, "Eric you always drink when we hang out and I'm getting sick of it!" She spoke clearly now.

I felt as though I was replaying a role and I just spoke the lines effortlessly. "Listen I'm sorry but drinking is my way of coping and I'm still trying to be better okay?"

"You always say that!"

"Are you serious?" I breathed in and out. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to understand myself."

"Are you serious? It's been months?"

That made me snap, "Been JUST months? Do you realize the shit storm I've been in? The financial troubles? I have to take double shifts, late-night ones just to pay for the house that was left by my parents! I've been going through bills and property that my family owned just to find out we've been in debt this whole time! Oh but just because I'm drinking that means I'm just nonsensical right? You've had it smoothly, everything went well for you and I'm sorry I can't relax without a drink but I rarely get time to relax at all!" I panted before picking up the cup of beer, "I'm tired and this is my way of picking up pieces so I'm sorry if somehow makes me worse but I'm still dealing with everything, it doesn't just disappear I'm still getting over the fact my parents are dead! It doesn't help that one of my only close friend is trying to separate themselves from me."

"I'm sorry that shit has hit the fan for you, I know it's a lot and I'm trying to help!"

"Oh? So is that why you avoid me when I want to hang out more?"

"Because of your drinking! I've been here to listen to you sulk around! You've been becoming more and more secluded and haven't talked to me in weeks! We barely message each other and when we do you just want to drink!"

"WELL, MAYBE I HAVE A REASON TO DRINK! EVER THINK OF THAT?!"

"OF COURSE I DO, WHY ELSE WOULD I BE HERE?"

"..." I looked at the drink.

"Listen, Eric, I don't want this to be us, you're one of my best friends but you didn't even show up for my wedding"

Now that crushed me, "you had a wedding? When?"

She sighed, "A month ago... I know you're hurting and you're trying to keep yourself together but each time I see you, you just seem to be letting yourself go. You are slipping, letting go..."

"...maybe I did let go, Sarah, I'm dy-" I sighed knowing this would just stress her out. "Never mind."

"Eric," her face softened, "You keep looking worse every day and I'm worried about you."

I hummed at that, she was right, everything was getting worse, all of it seemed like it blended in like blurs. "...I'm sorry" I whispered, my hand massaging my temples, "I think...I'm losing it, Sarah, sometimes I feel like there's no point y'know? Like somehow, somewhere, I failed and that was just it for me..."

Sarah just looked depressed by that, "Eric, I'm here for you but you need to connect to me... I'm starting to get really worried about you..."

Author's Note

Now I feel I need to explain a few things, due to the comment section I understand that I may not have made things clear in this story.

Eric is, well nervous and beyond scared, he has only been in this world for 2 weeks, didn't know of royalty and thought he would be beheaded for something as simple as speaking wrong. In no way is this a normal situation and you will find that small details go a long way for my story. Notice how Luna retracts to old Equestrian when speaking with Eric in a casual manner? Notice how Celestia was smirking at the realization of that? How Tia was only used as a name for Celestia and thus Eric doesn't know her actual name? Those aren't just throwaway bits.

Regardless I may have jumped the gun as Eric forgiving her of course, the idea was to say that he is easy to bend a knee for something he may have done because again, he's in a whole new world he knows next to nothing about. In no way is he the problem here but he thinks he is, I tried to show he wasn't obviously and by no means a push over but he's scared. Notice how much he's been joking especially in that interaction with Luna at the start? I'll have to try to put these themes more prevalent but the fact is, his way of working is to laugh it off, dealing with something serious as this? He's scared, lost, and feels alone... it scares him beyond belief...he's doesn't know a way to confront it all...

Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter! I know I know, 'took your time huh?' But I wasn't particularly motivated to make Eric's breakdown and disassociating so that's my excuse. If you like where this story is going though, I'd recommend reading another of my story called 'A chance' I plan to make that much more down to earth and who knows? Maybe Celestia may play a big role in that one wink wink.

(She will)

P.s sorry that this chapter was much heavier than the others, this won't let up until maybe three chapters later so after that, everything should have the usual comedic, nice banter. And if you are squeamish to self harm or the topics of suicide? I reccomend you DON'T read the next chapter, after that it should only be mentioned very sparsly.

Crippling Loneliness

Everything was a blur, I slipped in and out of consciousness, in the blurs I saw figures, garbled speaking, and then, nothing.

I woke up to see the ceiling of the guest room I was given that I started off in. I stared at roof for a couple of minutes... that dream- it...hurt.

I sighed, I tried to push away the thoughts and get more comfortable with this pony life but every time I sleep, every time I try to rest, I see that nightmare over and over. Never was there a moment I let myself forget it, the pain, the stress I put on her...a girl I used to love...

I feel so pathetic with all these memories and thoughts, maybe I am.

I looked to the right to see, past the closed glass balcony doors, the moon's radiance shined upon the floor. The streak of silver lighting lit the room. My mind was awash and dizzy I could only come up with a single sentence to summarize my emotions. "...guess I won't be sleeping tonight." I sighed with all the weight and pain of it all. In the process of lifting my weak body, I felt my muscles ache, bones feeling brittle and hefty.

I moved to open the doors of the balcony to see the sight of the city. The lights of the streets, stores, and restaurants were still lively... I leaned against the railing trying to drown out my lingering thoughts of the nightmare. But seeing couples- families just live and be happy, was hard to swallow. My mind came to a halt, my throat becoming dry, looking upon two lovebirds, old but expressive with their love with nuzzles and words of encouragement.

My mind became swirls within swirls I started getting feeling the build-up, and the aching become less apparent on anything but my heart. The look on their faces, the eyes that said 'you were the only thing in my mind' seeing their frowns curl and become smiles. The laughter, the smiles, and the merry spirits... I felt sick as if seeing a mirror of something I failed. The sensation of the cold air softly tickled the hairs upon my face. The sensations, the noise... it all became too much to bear, shutting my eyes and looking away I found little solace.

The weight of my throat and my sore muscles slowly came back, my slow pace of thinking was just going on auto pilot.

I tried to calm down, to tell myself to live in the moment.

But the longer I kept my eyes shut, I see it, her face, that pain and regret in all its glory and it stings my heart to relive the image, the memory over and over like a broken record. Her laughter that used to be so soothing, her contagious smile, the quiet moments when I allowed myself to hear not my thoughts, but her slow heartbeat of hers.

I open my eyes to tear myself away from it all, I grimaced at the replaying scene. "I just need to walk it off." I turned around to head back in just to go for the front door of my room. All I could think of was walking away from my room and getting a drink.

As I trudged through the halls I soon found myself lost, I didn't get a good grasp on where goes where so I just walked aimlessly...

I feel lost, not in just walking but in myself, where do I go from here? Days seem to slip into minutes, death again becomes more seductive and pain seems to wear me down. I've fucked up one life, I may have fucked up this one too...

I shook my head, no, I was doing better, I started drinking less and-

Only for a week... What was the point? Lying to myself like this just to evade that guilt, I've fucked up.

I heard my hooves echo along the hall but nothing felt like it could register. Just my thoughts... "You know you'll just fuck it up again, when was the last time you did anything helpful? What kind of idiot just blurts out the shit you do?"

I tried to clear it all out but more and more thoughts of criticism came into my head, as I followed the halls I saw through the glass panels that the moon shined through it all. The glow of the moon overhung through the windows letting out a nice night glow of light.

"This is stupid, you're stupid, why'd you think being in a pony world with magical horses and magic would give you any better of a chance?"

I grimaced at it all, I know it was just in my head, these voices were just being hard on me but- they had truth in them. Here I was thinking this shit would be any better and here I was sulking and dying inside.

Maybe I should just end it all? It'd be so easy, find an opening some kind of high place, and just...jump.

I shook the thought away but each step I took echoed through the halls, every step made the thoughts come back.

I lost myself in hallways and stairs, spiraling away with my brain being lost.

"Every day I get worse, every day I'm stuck in this alien world with a damn alien horse body. I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!"

As I exited from the door I felt small droplets of rain hit and drip from my coat. The pouring felt small and non-intrusive. It was just starting but felt, nice, a small wind down.

The feeling of it all slowly picked up its pace, cascading onto me, all the weight of everything just felt, massive and yet obscure. I closed my eyes and lifted my head to feel the rain pound onto my face, to slide downwards only to drip from my chin.

I realized I never really felt happy for a long time, was that normal? Was that just me? Or was it life just giving me a hell of a ride? The small droplets slowly hit the floor faster.

Did It matter? Before I was here I was just a nobody, someone you'd get annoyed with and then leave. Did I have people in my life? Yeah but few and too far in between, I'm sure they wouldn't miss me... I wouldn't.

And what now? Wake up to a strange world with a pity job, a princess assaulting me, making me like her before dropping the bomb, then just asking me to forgive her.

The rain began to pound harder on my face, more violent and yet...bearable.

The rain while growing in rampant, aggressive stampede, made me think of a memory. A melody began to ring in my head. It was slow, a melody I hadn't remembered since I was 9, it was slow in a low tempo as if bouncing upon the sheet. But slowly, through its repetitive nature, it found its pacing to become more, louder, more iconic, something childlike.

In a moment of clarity, in a small brief but important moment in time. I found what the melody brought back. My throat hitched at the recollection of it all, the wonders of another world I would simply work in, the building, the exploring. The expansive and endless world that I used to inhabit in my childlike imagination.

The hum of a small warm computer upon my feet. Or the feel of a small controller that allowed me to build and recreate the world around me, or even the small screen of a phone. The simpleness, the stagnant moment in one small room. I remember it, the small drips of rain that was soothing or the stormy scary nights of being alone. In those moments, I found the peacefulness of a world I could control. A world I could conquer, in a small moment where I felt in power.

When mom and dad were...alive. When the world made sense and the only time they were gone was when they had work. When I had everything at my fingertips, my mind was at ease from the worries that came with the world. Homework was a joke for education, the biggest worry was knowing if I was the coolest by having the best Legos or bay blades...

And then, I opened my eyes. The rain was just as violent when I shut my senses. The world felt dreary and dry, colorless. Even with the magicalness of It all before it just felt, uninteresting? The rain poured but I gave it no mind. I looked around to see the streets empty, perhaps when the rain picked up ponies just simply felt it best to stay inside?

Looking at the restaurants, the stores, the fast-food shops, it all just seemed, irritating?

Everything here has been fucked up beyond recognition. And I just wanted it to stop, everything here reminds me of home. I hate it more than I appreciate it, it makes me angry that I'll be constantly reminded of a place I knew, but can never go back to.

I looked down to see my legs matted, soaked beyond belief while sticking to other hair strands, creating clumps. All I could feel was a coldness, the winds blowing with no heat to take from. From the left corner of my eye, I could see the same couple I saw earlier take refuge in a hotel, the male carried an umbrella in his blue magical hue, it covered the mare. Ushering her to go in with a smile on his lips. I looked away in pain, but when I looked forward, a few steps away I saw a glass pane. The only thing separating the sidewalk I was on was a cobblestone road.

But looking at the glass, I saw It's face, the soaked mane, the drained red that used to be so vibrant in its color. The white that had become muted, darkened, and grayed. And then there was It's expression, a bitter frown with red puffed eyes. The face I was forced to see constantly, through puddles to mirror in any reflection I saw It. Some cheap-looking design of a pony that could be easily used for marketing purposes. But when I saw that face again in the reflection, all that reflected was disgust and anger.

And then I stopped, I looked at It again. Its face morphed with me, expressions copied my own. I smiled, I laughed, I yelled at it from across the street and it copied it. Then It drooped its smile, its eyes sagged and its mane drooped. The eyes slowly dulled and just showed less and less spirit until it stopped copying me.

I lifted a hoof, hesitating before lowering it down to take one step, then two, then three. My body just moved forward, coming closer to the glass wall that kept a copy of me. Closer and closer, I felt the different texture of cobblestone come into my senses but I gave it no mind. I just kept slowly trotting.

And more and more, It copies me, coming closer and closer with me. I went up against the glass, putting Its mane against the cold surface before closing my eyes. I imagined it just being something else from the mediocre beings I've seen. I opened my eyes to find a human, taller than It's size. Brown eyes with black messy hair, so long that Mom would probably force him into a barber shop. The human smiled at that, letting a little laugh with tired eyes and heavy sags.

It was very tired, I could tell it wanted to sleep, it had shown the wear and tear through the eyes as if I could see the soul that was tortured. I shut my eyes and let a few tears well up before falling. I felt the anger, the sadness, the regret. And then, I felt my heart tear into pieces. My throat hitched, the words stayed in my throat as I tried to say the words I wanted to say. But all I could find were the words I never wanted to hear.

"...You can let go now..."

I opened my eyes to see nothing but It in the human's place.

Its eyes began to well up with tears, Its lip quivering in a pathetic attempt to stop the incoming flood of repressed feelings.

And then, I cried.

Author's Note

I originally wanted to have him be hit by a car, a want for death that led him to a more critical condition. But as I wrote it out, I felt that was sloppy, some writing convenience for me to use for them to care about him suddenly. I wanted it to feel like he's battling with his own emotions in a real way. OH! and happy fourth of july! Didn't really realize until later so uhhhh yeah!

Mind Alone Was Gone

The stars in the purple night sky shined brilliantly, twinkling with random surges of light. The clouds covered most of the sky, nearly eclipsing the moon in its work, the space endless and vast with only the chirping of crickets to echo out to the simple purple ocean that held all the wonders above.

Where many were meant to be lulled to bed from whispers that held promises to good dreams. A single specific pony stood out, from atop the highest of pillars, the dark crown twinkled in reflection of the white light that paved its way from the moon down to the pony- Luna.

Her snout aimed upwards to the heavens with eyes zeroed on to the moon, some of its visages were covered creating a crescent look at its zenith point. Her horn aglow with a purple spark and soon, the silver crescent began to move from the clouds, slowly allowing more view of the moon coming in.

As the princess watched the planet move her ears twitched before pointing behind her as small clip-clop vibrations echoed across the empty room.

As the sounds of hoofsteps came closer Luna's ears could only lower themselves until they hugged the sides of her head as her visitor came to her side.

Turning to her right she found that the visitor was her sister, as she had thought, but the silence that had filled the room was deafening.

With closed eyes, Celestia sparked her own horn for a second before dissipating. As the magic extinguished, her eyes opened to see the vast night sky slowly turn to orange far out to the horizon.

The stars that held close to the rising sun slowly disappeared as they came up with intensity, drowning the stars in a warm sea of peach.

Luna looked to know the routine well, doing so for centuries held little to the imagination for what came next. She knew the format, as the moon she sparked comes out of view her sister's light would rise, requiring her to step back and slink to her bed. Her duty to protect the dream realm would be unneeded and her sleep would be all that was required from her, waiting hours to awake into the night alone, it was a lonely, thankless endeavor that kept her away from everything she cared for to look over.

But in the back of her mind, setting aside the resentment that built, the jealousy that remained. Her guilt trumped everything, outweighing any wants or requests she had, only one thing was upon her mind.

Luna held her voice in her throat, slowly, bit by bit, she gained her voice. "Sister, I-"

"It's not your fault."

Luna lost her voice from that response.

"Luna, you could not have known he would break down like this."

She moved her head to face her sister, "Couldn't I? I made the order to watch him, to survey him, if I had given the orders to stop him in the halls-"

Celestia sighed, "You would have made him lose trust in you even more," she turned to lift her sister's chin, staring into her eyes. "You did the smart thing, watching was the best way we could have understood his purpose to leave."

Luna moved her head away, her eyes far away from the comfort. "...He became quiet for a week before becoming aggressive..."

"That is his choice to act as such, that was not your doing."

Luna turned back to stare at her sister with a crestfallen face. "Wasn't it?"

"And so I aimed the scope right on its head, killing the animal instantly!"

Bubbly laughter rang out throat the small room with small hiccups Interrupting the continuous joyful spirit.

Eric was on a velvet couch with gold embroidery, his back up against the armrest with his head on top of it. His smile and laughter ranged across the room, his left hoof on top of a pillow of the furniture with his right hoof dangling out with a bottle of wine.

"So- hic, I came closer upon the horse, bringing out a knife I was ready to- hic, skin him for his leather. Could sell good money to buy something useful!" Laughter rang out from the same creature once again. Across from him held a disaster in the making, a pony with dark navy fur had one hoof with a clipboard and his other was empty, looking onto the ground you would find his pen.

"And boy did it! Plenty enough for me to buy some nice modifications onto more guns I could use for sport!" Eric diverted his eyes, rolling his head from the ceiling that had held his attention for so long to find its place on the horse across from him.

"You know what's funny? It was so easy that I decided to just kill more on the way. Just. For. Fun." His eyes distant and cold struck the horse to his heart with fear. Shinning his teeth he spoke only one word whilst leaning towards the being.

"Run." To Eric's enjoyment, he saw the horse scamper, throwing his clipboard to the wayside while running for the door, swiftly opening it before disappearing, the horse was gone.

Eric could only smile at the distress he successfully caused before bringing the beverage in his grasp to his lips. Drinking away he could only feel the burning in his throat but welcomed the feeling of his fresh reward.

The first drink of the day is always the worst.

Taking as much as I can in one swig, I finished the bottle in seconds, wishing it wasn't so I looked back to the drink to see it was a mistake. But it wasn't, the liquid that made living a little more bearable was now gone, minutes, hours, awaited to be wasted away.

I looked to my right to find something interesting, a clipboard that the Doc left, what was interesting is it seemed to have a photo of me. I don't remember taking a photo? Was it during my blackout period? Shit, I don't care, I need a drink.

Moving forward I put my right hoof onto the floor, and felt wobbly, putting my other hoof I still felt imbalanced. Putting my right back hoof over to the ground felt a little stable but still wobbly. Another hoof and I felt more stable, moving over to the clipboard I saw it was taken during my 'Blackout period'...

Grabbing it I saw big bolded words on the top right next to my photo.

Eric

Species: Earth Pony (Previous Animal Unknown)

Supringly there was quite a bit of text even with not knowing much about me, funny.

"Mm, how fun, let's see what they think is my major damage."

"Eric is an alien with an unknown origin, originally thought to have been from our universe is slowly showing less and less of that theory prevailing - his origin is unknown but most sound about is of his home being of another universe. Elements of magic had varied when being found in the source of his summon, many of the past residues held a powerful shadow over the site. "

So they aren't all dumb

With a sigh and a roll of my eyes, I kept going.

"Subject shows no hostility nor want for any kind of danger with the only recent activity of aggression. It is believed that something else has clicked onto his psyche that led to this sudden change of behavior. While magic is not completely out of the question whether subduing his anger before or igniting it now, it is believed it is more of a mental struggle. He seems to not know of pony body language, thus that is his main weakness to know what he feels whether it is lying, sadness or happiness. Most reports show sadness as a key body language he expresses."

Great deduction sherlock.

Looking at the paper just filled me with more anger than interest, I threw it away to the wall. A crack resonated along the room but I didn't look back, my only focus was on the open door that the doctor swung in a fight or flight response.

I took my steps to reach the door, but I stopped. Guilt dripped in the back of my mind, the idea I may be too extreme at abusing the idea of the image of a fear-mongering alien-.

No... none of them could understand what shit I've been through, he was just another pony that's never known death to stare at him in the face.

I shook my head. "Dumb ponies...."

I turned left, days have been muddy and sour but I did finally learn somehow about these halls, I finally know where I am, so that's fun!

...it's weird, I heard my footsteps- my hoofsteps... I hear them echo in the dead of night and yet- I still can't remember moving them.

I looked at the ground where the red royal overpriced carpet was endless in appearing at every corner of every hall. Windows shined from the silver moon that overpowered the darkness, showing the future steps I would take along the path.

...And yet, I still couldn't see my hooves, was it weird to look at your shadow more than your feet? As I kept moving I saw another shadow that peaked from ahead, it's neck was tall with a wavy connection that stood alone on the carpet.

"Eric"

I sighed before looking up to see Tia.

Her face showed shock before shifting to stern. "What are you doing here? You should be in your therapy session."

I could only look at her in disbelief.

"Eric, why are you not with your assigned therapist?"

I just looked blankly at her.

She rubbed a hoof on her temple, "Not another one."

I started walking around her but she grabbed me by my tail, I assume via magic but I just kept looking forward to the red velvet path.

"Eric, why do you keep doing this? They're trying to help you." Her voice even didn't speak of one side or the other on the spectrum of emotions, simply just a question that wanted an answer.

"And I'm doing the same." And I gave it an answer, the result was a sigh and no magic to hold me.

And then I reached my room, everything else was just, meaningless.

The guest room was as empty and spacious as it was the day I woke up here. I walked to the bed, placed a hoof onto the lining of the sheets, and trailed its outline. The soft sensation reminded me of feeling something, the eventual reality that I was forced to reside in while trapped.

"I'm so tired, so so tired." I closed my eyes in pain from the words. "Why did I have to be the person to be here? Why me?." The anger was building in my throat. "Why me?!" I yelled out to the ceiling, I smashed my hooves and face onto the mattress, yelling into the sheets with all my anger, resentment, and pain.

I felt so tired of this charade...

Author's Note

Yo! Me again! So I've been kinda busy as usual but if you want some updates or in story lore pieces in my stories I reccomend joining My Discord!

Don't worry it's not going to be huge story pieces you'd be missing, but doing a puzzle is fun isn't it?

Anyway, plug aside, the real meat between Luna and Eric will show itself in next chapter where shit is going to be explored and revealed. This was merely meant to show the aftermath of Eric's shit habits appearing to burn bridges.

Hope you enjoyed the update!

How Did I Get Here?

Senses flooded my mind, the crisp cold air gave goosebumps to my body. Opening my eyes I could see the countless homes from around the street. High above I was, my mind was still, like a river undisturbed.

A gentle cold reminder slid through my fingers, looking down I saw just another bottle.

Tired, exhausted, and empty I lift the bottle to grace my lips, like a practiced fluid motion I take in most of it before stopping. Bitterness takes the most prominent feeling but I know the drill, just wait it out and I won't care what it tastes like.

Eyes heavy and dreams low I stand up with weight dragging me down, as if clutching upon my body to plead to not do what I was going to do.

But it was all in my head, right? Something clinging upon me as I take that stand?

My lips curled into a small hollow smirk with that thought. "Heh."

One step forward and six steps left.

"I wonder how well things will hold up in the end"

Another step forward and five steps left.

"How much of a change could've I been to this world?"

Two steps forward and three steps left.

"I suppose I'll never know."

Lifting my leg again I stopped myself from putting another step forward. For a moment, just a moment it sinks in.

Was I going to really just go off a roof? That's how I go out?

I held my shaking foot in the air. Shakily taking in a breath I looked up to the night sky, the stars shining brightly. It was untainted nor concerned for my moment of hesitation, it was not there to watch or care for the moment.

I like that about the night, anything goes and you can look at it beautifully before ending everything. That put a smile on my face.

Closing my eyes I could feel the touch of the cold air once again grazing my cheek and hair, one step forward.

For once, something nice would come to happen right and I couldn't screw it up.

Maybe if I don't see how much more steps it'll take then it will be easier to take the last step.

Closing my eyes I took in the air.

Things would be easier this way.

Maybe this was how it was meant to be played, my life was like a joke, a record playing over and over while I kept letting it keep going until it ran out of humor.

Suppose that was just par for the course.

Eric you haven't eaten in days! You're not okay!

That voice.

My body stiffened at the familiarity of it. Who was it?

Eric why haven't you called me? You've been silent for months!

Something about that voice, I dropped the bottle to clutch at my head, the voice sounded so close. My head was foggy, thoughts and words were going down the drain, but that voice-

E-eric? W-what are you doing?!

It was someone that cared right? I think. I can't remember....why can't I remember?

Everything felt so hazy, so distant. All my mind could wrap around was I was standing up near the edge of a roof. I- I think I wanted to see if I could feel something. No, I wanted to see if I could die.

That made more sense and yet, I was hearing a voice, not in real-time, but more like a recording. And every time it spoke I-.

Streaks came down my cheek. It felt wet, why was something running down my cheek? I pulled my hand away from the headache. Touching- tears?

Why was I crying?

ERIC PLEASE!

My heart pained at the voice and I realized why. Tears started to slip down more and I know why I wanted death.

My heart tightened, the air felt so tight, and the world felt like it was spinning. I tried to gasp at the air, I tried so hard to breathe but I couldn't!

My whole body trembled and my legs buckled against the weight. I felt time slow down as I fell back. And for a moment, for just a few seconds, I saw the stars shine so beautifully.

I closed my eyes in acceptance of death, it was my choice after all. It was always my choice, I just never knew there was a better choice, not one I agreed I deserved.

Author's Note

Heh, been awhile huh?

Let's give this guy a real chance at happiness.