Senses flooded my mind, the crisp cold air gave goosebumps to my body. Opening my eyes I could see the countless homes from around the street. High above I was, my mind was still, like a river undisturbed.

A gentle cold reminder slid through my fingers, looking down I saw just another bottle.

Tired, exhausted, and empty I lift the bottle to grace my lips, like a practiced fluid motion I take in most of it before stopping. Bitterness takes the most prominent feeling but I know the drill, just wait it out and I won't care what it tastes like.

Eyes heavy and dreams low I stand up with weight dragging me down, as if clutching upon my body to plead to not do what I was going to do.

But it was all in my head, right? Something clinging upon me as I take that stand?

My lips curled into a small hollow smirk with that thought. "Heh."

One step forward and six steps left.

"I wonder how well things will hold up in the end"

Another step forward and five steps left.

"How much of a change could've I been to this world?"

Two steps forward and three steps left.

"I suppose I'll never know."

Lifting my leg again I stopped myself from putting another step forward. For a moment, just a moment it sinks in.

Was I going to really just go off a roof? That's how I go out?

I held my shaking foot in the air. Shakily taking in a breath I looked up to the night sky, the stars shining brightly. It was untainted nor concerned for my moment of hesitation, it was not there to watch or care for the moment.

I like that about the night, anything goes and you can look at it beautifully before ending everything. That put a smile on my face.

Closing my eyes I could feel the touch of the cold air once again grazing my cheek and hair, one step forward.

For once, something nice would come to happen right and I couldn't screw it up.

Maybe if I don't see how much more steps it'll take then it will be easier to take the last step.

Closing my eyes I took in the air.

Things would be easier this way.

Maybe this was how it was meant to be played, my life was like a joke, a record playing over and over while I kept letting it keep going until it ran out of humor.

Suppose that was just par for the course.

Eric you haven't eaten in days! You're not okay!

That voice.

My body stiffened at the familiarity of it. Who was it?

Eric why haven't you called me? You've been silent for months!

Something about that voice, I dropped the bottle to clutch at my head, the voice sounded so close. My head was foggy, thoughts and words were going down the drain, but that voice-

E-eric? W-what are you doing?!

It was someone that cared right? I think. I can't remember....why can't I remember?

Everything felt so hazy, so distant. All my mind could wrap around was I was standing up near the edge of a roof. I- I think I wanted to see if I could feel something. No, I wanted to see if I could die.

That made more sense and yet, I was hearing a voice, not in real-time, but more like a recording. And every time it spoke I-.

Streaks came down my cheek. It felt wet, why was something running down my cheek? I pulled my hand away from the headache. Touching- tears?

Why was I crying?

ERIC PLEASE!

My heart pained at the voice and I realized why. Tears started to slip down more and I know why I wanted death.

My heart tightened, the air felt so tight, and the world felt like it was spinning. I tried to gasp at the air, I tried so hard to breathe but I couldn't!

My whole body trembled and my legs buckled against the weight. I felt time slow down as I fell back. And for a moment, for just a few seconds, I saw the stars shine so beautifully.

I closed my eyes in acceptance of death, it was my choice after all. It was always my choice, I just never knew there was a better choice, not one I agreed I deserved.

Author's Note

Heh, been awhile huh?

Let's give this guy a real chance at happiness.