Equus Astartes

by HighRoller

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Main 6, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 7345

A battered Space Marine from a fallen chapter is sent through the warp to Equestria.

It is the 41st Millennium. Or...at least it is in one universe. A lone battle brother, after the loss of a battle, is cast into the warp and winds up in a land full of...magical, colorful, talking ponies. Worse, by some trick of the warp, he has become one! Still mourning the loss of his Space Marine brethren, he must co-exist and perhaps even cooperate with this universe's inhabitants. But will he choose to start a new life as a stranger in a strangely idyllic land, or will his sacred, undying duty to his Emperor compel him to find a way back to his own world?

A strange little fic I suddenly got the inspiration for. Will contain a mixture of comedy, action, and feels. Rated Teen for a brutal battle in the opening scene.

Published 2012-08-31 04:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-31 19:53:38 UTC

Prologue: Rift Between Worlds

The cacophony of battle had begun to die down, but it was far from over. Hulking figures in blue armor, badly bloodied, stood against a growing horde of daemonic creatures. Portals swirling with infernal warp energy were opening up all around the battlefield, twisted monstrosities of all shapes and sizes wading out into the dwindling fray.

“Battle brothers! To me! We must show these foul daemons no fear!” A voice rang out across the bloody field that seemed as if it would have been audible even without the amplification provided by the comm-system.

"If we die here today, we will not have died in vain! Every foul warp-spawn we bring down will be one less blight upon the face of the Imperium! Now, onward! Chaaaaarge!”

The blue-armored figures seemed to be filled with a renewed vigor. Even some who had seemed grievously wounded did their best to move forward, hacking through their foes with grim determination, others with bolters blazing, shell casings spent clattering to the ground unnoticed. Daemons began to screech as bullet and blade bit into their flesh, the former exploding on contact.

In the center of the maelstrom of whirring blades and blazing guns was the one who had spoken the words that encouraged his struggling brethren. Seemingly tirelessly, the warrior hacked and shot his way through waves of foes singlehandedly. A howl went up from a red, demonic-looking beast as its sword arm was severed, the creature’s blood spewing forth. A bolt-pistol shell burst the monster’s head shortly thereafter, its brains spattering the rocky ground as it fell to its knees. Another was impaled through the stomach, a roaring chainsaw-like blade penetrating its back, making mincemeat of its innards in the process.

Finally, the azure-armored trooper stood before the mouth of one of the gaping rifts from whence his foes came. From the portal emerged a beast like the others, except far greater in size and ferocity. Without hesitation, the heavily armored warrior dashed between its legs and turned, executing a deft backhand slash. The powered blade of his chainsword squealed and caught as it made its way through his enemy’s armor, finally emerging cleanly from the opposite end, black blood spraying in seemingly every direction all the while. The massive, daemonic behemoth dropped its enormous, twisted blade and fell.

He made to leap onto its back to finish it, but as his feet left the ground, some mysterious force pulled at him. It was the portal, he realized. The thing was dragging at him, trying to draw him in. Not even his formidable strength was enough to resist its otherworldly, eldritch pull. Before he knew it, he was sucked inside.

He flew through the warp, tendrils of energy licking at him, his entrails feeling as if they were in the process of rearranging themselves even as he yet lived. And then, nothing…silence, oblivion. He had no idea what was happening...perhaps he'd found favor with his Emperor and been shielded from the torrential, malignant forces of the warp. Finally, his lack of consciousness became complete. His form tumbled through the storm of hellish energy for what seemed like an eternity, until finally…

***

A purple unicorn trotted contentedly across the plains, her violet magic enveloping a book, which she levitated before her face. This preoccupation left her utterly unprepared for the massive, resounding roar and resulting heavy crash that suddenly shook the picturesque landscape. The pony let out a yelp and jumped what must have been several feet into the air, her simple levitation spell disrupted, causing the book to fall to the grass with a thud.

The studious mare forgot it for now, though, as there was a far more interesting sight just before her eyes. On the ground about twenty feet from where she stood lay a dark blue unicorn, sturdily built, a strange horseshoe like symbol on his flank. His hair was shortish, raggedy, and black. What was even stranger than his sudden appearance, however, was the heap of dark-blue metal and assorted accessories.

As far as she could tell, the metallic wreck looked like some kind of heavy, ornate armor. Cautiously, the purple mare approached the stuff, forgetting the other unicorn for the moment in the midst of her curiosity. She attempted to levitate a hunk of it, a shoulder-pad, she surmised. It was difficult, but she managed. It somehow seemed as if her magic coursed through the heavy, hard material like some kind of current. Her contemplations were interrupted when she felt something slam into her side. She rolled along the ground, somepony else latched onto her, until she ended up on her back.

She looked up with wide, terrified eyes, and beheld two blue eyes, full of a fiery rage she’d never seen the like of in all her life. The unicorn from before was now apparently conscious, pinning her down, and very, very angry. He snorted, his breath hot on her face as he leaned in so closely their noses almost met.
“Where have you brought me, warp-spawn?!” he demanded in a snarling tone. The female trembled underneath him, more frightened than she’d ever been. Then, she watched the look in the new pony’s eyes change, as if he were suddenly overwhelmed with some great realization. Slowly, he let her up, and lifted a hoof in front of his face, examining it incredulously.

“Holy Terra, what am I? WHERE am I?” He looked around frantically, as if searching for something. As soon as he spotted the armor, he galloped over to it, staring at it in shock. He lifted his hoof, then looked back and forth between it and the heap of armor several times. The unicorn shook his head quickly and turned around to face Twilight this time.

Gone was the former look of unbridled fury, replaced instead by an expression of bewilderment.

“You…you’re a…a horse. No, a…pony.” He blinked and stared at her, as if expecting her to say something.

“Um…yes, yes I am. A unicorn, to be exact.” She cocked her head. “And so are you. I don’t know what’s so extraordinary about that.”

“Me? A pony?!” The male galloped up to her, then looked at his hooves again. “No…no, that’s impossible. I am a battle brother of the Adeptus Astartes, chosen warriors of the God Emperor and protector of the realms of mankind!” Suddenly, the stallion swayed in place a few times, his eyes rolling back into his head as he fell over onto the ground with a weighty thud, leaving an exceedingly confused unicorn in his wake.

“Well…NOW what do I do? Celestia, why does all the weird stuff always have to happen to me?”

Chapter I: Introductions and Infatuations

The space marine in equine form awoke with a start and a shout. He breathed heavily, looking around, evaluating the situation. First, he lifted a hoof in front of his face. Hoof…yes, it was indeed still a hoof. So this whole scenario wasn’t, as far as he could tell, some vision conjured up by daemonic torturers.

Next, he looked around the room. It appeared to be made of wood, with some simple décor no doubt intended to make it seem inviting. However, for a warrior who thrived on the sparse, Spartan comforts of a chapel-barracks, it was as alien to him as anything.

‘Now to see if I can stand on these strange legs,’ he thought to himself, climbing out of the bed and to his feet. He felt a bit wobbly. Perhaps the effects of the warp? That raised another question in his mind…how had he survived, and, more importantly, how had he ended up in this strange world of talking, colorful horses?

His thoughts were quickly interrupted when a cyan blur followed by a multicolored trail sped up and into the room. Rather than falling backward in surprise, the warrior simply stared it down as it materialized into a vibrant blue pony with a mane and tail in a variety of colors.

“Hey, Twilight!” the creature called in a slightly scratchy but undoubtedly feminine voice. “He’s up…and he doesn’t look too happy.” A sturdy-looking orange pony in a wide-brimmed hat climbed the stairs, followed by the purple one from before. They all stood before him.

“Careful, everypony,” the purple one said quietly. “We don’t want to scare him.” The male laughed bitterly.

“Scare me? Warp-spawn, I have seen and even killed some of the most massive abominations that the galaxy has to offer. You and your little…friends do not scare me!” The light blue one turned to look at her compatriots and swirled her hoof around the side of her head in a circular motion and made a strange face.

“Dash, be nice,” the purple one said. She gave a slightly timid smile and stepped forward carefully, as not to make the defensive, edgy male think she was doing anything suspicious. “Hello…my name is Twilight Sparkle. What’s yours?” The space marine pony gazed at her suspiciously out of the corner of one eye.

“I am Brother Captain Arceus, of the Ultramarines.” The ponies before him kept staring at him, as if expecting him to say something. The well-built orange one tilted her hat back and scratched her head.

“What in the hay is an…Ultramawhatsit?” The battle brother shook his head, tossing his ragged pitch mane back and forth as he did so.

“It…it will take some explanation, if you xenos are worthy of such.” He turned up his nose, looking down his muzzle at the colorful equines before him. Even as a pony, he was significantly taller, bulkier, and more muscular than what was normal for the species, befitting his Space Marine enhancements. The vibrant blue one flew right into his face and snorted, her nose pressing right against his. Arceus didn’t budge or even flinch in response.

“Listen, pal…I don’t like the tone you’re taking with my friends. This is our turf, and if you’re gonna come in here talking down to everypony-“

“Wait, winged one,” Arceus interrupted in his deep baritone voice, powerful even at a relatively quiet tone, such as the one he was currently using. “Did you just say, every-…pony?” The battle-hardened warrior couldn’t help but crack a small smirk.

“Yeeeeeah…” the pegasus started slowly. “Everyp-…I mean, we all say that.” Arceus was now more steady on his feet, and simply turned and walked away from the hovering blue creature, mildly perturbed by the clip-clopping of his newly acquired hooves. He gazed out the window at the bright sun, surveying the quaint, sunbathed landscape visible form the building’s second floor.

“Emperor…give me strength…” he prayed quietly, bowing his head. Finally, realizing he had best not show these strange alien beasts any weakness, as he had yet to ascertain their true nature, he turned around, his head held high once more. “You, violet xenos!” he said, looking straight at the one who’d introduced herself as Twilight. “You will take me to your leader, so that we may have words. I must know how I came to be here. I have a sacred duty to which I must attend!”

Twilight rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof nervously. “Well, I’d like to...but I’ve already sent off a missive to our princess notifying her of your arrival, and it seems she hasn’t gotten back to me yet. I’m sorry, Arceus.” She walked slowly over to the burly stallion and tried to lay a hoof on his sturdy shoulder. He jerked away, as if repulsed.

“I will not allow you to lay a ha- um, hoof on me until I am sure that this is not all some devious plot to ensnare me and turn me from the path or righteousness!” he bellowed. His sudden change in tone caused the purple mare’s two friends to bristle, as if ready to spring to her defense. He stood his ground, as always. “And if any of you try to harm me, I will not hesitate to shatter your equine skulls underfoot.”

The stallion’s tone was icy and deadly serious, and it sent a shiver down Twilight’s spine. The orange one, still as yet unintroduced to him, lowered herself into a defensive stance.

“He’s serious ‘bout this, Twi!” she warned her friend in her peculiar, twangy accent. “You better back yerself up! Let Rainbow and I handle ‘im, you go ‘an get help.” Twilight shook her head vigorously to her friends, tossing her streaked mane.

“No, girls. It’s okay. I’ll handle this.” She did her best to offer a reassuring smile, despite the fear she felt. She’d faced down cerberi, enraged moon goddesses, hydras, even the embodiment of chaos himself. Something about this stallion radiated a cold, raw power greater and more fearsome than anything she’d yet encountered, and yet at the same time, despite his currently threatening posture, he seemed like a guardian, a defender of good. She knew she could trust him, if she could just make him understand their intentions.

“You were unconscious. I brought you here, and did my best to take care of you, despite not knowing where you were from, and the fact that you tried to tackle me to the ground. What reason do you have to believe we mean you any harm?” Arceus sighed and seemed to relax his posture, if only the slightest bit.

“I see the reason in your words, horned one.” He bit his bottom lip, as if contemplating something. Finally, he snorted softly and lifted his head high again, assuming his former rigid stance. “Very well. I can see that the three of you are no threat to me. Perhaps I can learn a bit more about this…world I seem to have woken up in while we wait for a reply from this, um, princess.” Both of the ponies behind her looked visibly more at ease, though the blue one still seemed to regard him cautiously. She started to walk away, but Arceus took a step forward and called after her.

“Wait! Winged one, what is your name? You too,” he said, looking towards Applejack. “It would do well to learn your names, if I’m going to be staying here.”

The orange one trotted up to him and offered a hoof. “Howdy, Arceus. Ah’m Applejack. It’s a pleasure ta meet ya!” Arceus awkwardly took her hoof, shaking it firmly.

“Likewise, Applejack.” The look that alit on his face was only a ghost of a smile, but it was reassuring compared to the scowl he’d been giving them previouisly.

“Twi and ah’ll be here if ya need somethin’, stranger,” Applejack said, descending the simple wooden stairs. “C’mon, Twi. We were s’posed ta meet Rarity ‘bout ten minutes ago.” The rainbow-maned pony attempted to sneak off, but Twilight grabbed hold of her tail and pulled her back into the upper room.

“Don’t be rude, Rainbow!” she whispered harshly. “Introduce yourself.” The pegasus rolled her eyes.

“Fine, fine. I’m Rainbow Dash. It’s nice to meet you, I guess…” she muttered, looking away and offering him a hoof, which he shook with a firmness that bordered on uncomfortable.

“Alright, Rainbow…Dash. I apologize for my earlier behavior. It was unbecoming of an honorable warrior.” He lowered his head in a small act of contrition. “I do hope there will be no further animosity between us.” He lifted his hoof in a salute, then walked down the stairs carefully behind the other two ponies, Rainbow watching him go. Her gaze fixed on those strong, powerful haunches, and the muscles rippling underneath them, and…

“No!” she whispered urgently to herself. “I don’t trust him, even if he is…pretty awesomely strong. I’ve got my eye on you, Captain Arceus,” she said as much to herself as to anyone else. After a bit, she fluttered down to the lower room of Twilight’s library home, her eyes fixed in a half-glare. But was she upset with the newcomer for his behavior, or with herself for her thoughts? She wished she knew.

***

"Ah, there you are, dears!” a pure white pony with a ravishing purple mane called out to the approaching party. Her eyes went a little wide when she spotted the rugged dark blue stallion. “Ooooh, who’s he?” Arceus made his way over to the table the mare was occupying. He touched a hoof to his chest in a salute and greeting.

“Brother Captian Arceus, of the Ultramarines, at your service, my lady.” His expression remained stern. The white pony nearly squealed.

“Oh, Twilight, is he one of your brother’s guard? Did Shining Armor send this hunk of handsome stallion down from Canterlot to keep his little sister safe?” She winked at the purple mare, who merely blushed in response. Arceus just looked confused.

“Canterlot? What is this ‘Canterlot’ of which you speak?” he asked, looking over at Twilight for an answer. The white one smiled.

“Oh, so he’s a foreigner?”

“Y-you could say that,” Twilight said. “It’s really a long story, Rarity.” The one apparently named Rarity propped up her forelegs on the table, and rested her face on her hooves.

“We’ve got allll afternoon, Twilight. You and your, um, friend simply must come have a seat! I’m sure you’re all famished!” Arceus shook his head.

“No, thank you, my lady. My battle brothers and I are gifted with a metabolism that gives us the ability to function without eating for long periods of time. I will, however, accept your offer of a seat.” The ornate metal chair beside the glass table creaked a bit when the huge stallion sat in it, the ornate wire ornamentation seeming to bend under his weight. Rarity cringed.

“Um, perhaps we should fetch you a bench, Captain…?”

“Whatever for?” Arceus questioned, before the chair gave way beneath him, sending his rump crashing into the restaurant’s patio pavement. “Oh…I-I suppose that wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all,” he said, standing. He did his best to maintain a dignified pose. Rarity admired this very much.

“My, such poise, even when a lesser stallion would be making excuses and groveling. You are a remarkable pony, Captain Arceus.” She batted her long, thick eyelashes at him, clapping her hooves together a couple of times. “Waiter? Could you please fetch us a new seat for the Captain here? Something…sturdy.” The mustachioed, grey waiter pony bowed and without a word ran to fetch the requested seat. He and another pony came back bearing a large wooden bench, looking as if it had been hauled from the waiting area.

“I can take it from here,” Arceus said, trotting over and lifting it with one hoof as if it were made of wicker and not of solid wood. Everypony present went slack-jawed, and simply stared as Arceus made himself comfortable in his new seat. “Hmm? Is something the matter, ponies?” he asked curiously. Rarity was the first to speak.

“My, my…such a big, strong stallion, aren’t you?” she asked with a titter. The other ponies shook themselves, a couple of them laughing nervously. All of the guests present (with the exception of Arceus) placed an order, which the still dumbfounded waiters went off to take care of.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything, Arceus?” Twilight asked. “No water or anything?”

“I’m quite alright, thank you, Lady Sparkle.”

“Just ‘Twilight’ is fine, please,” she said, grinning sheepishly.

“Nonsense, darling!” Rarity said. “You should revel in the opportunity to receive such treatment and attention from such a distinguished gentlecolt. Now, would you ladies – and Captain- mind informing me about how you happened to meet?”

A length of time passed, and the bulk of the story so far had been related to Rarity between bites of salads and daffodil-and-dandelion sandwiches. The ivory mare listened with rapt attention, nodding every so often. When the tale was done, she nodded once more.

“I see…so Arceus claims he came from another world. But you didn’t happen to see the portal he claims he fell out of?” she asked, looking in Twilight’s direction. The other unicorn grinned shamefacedly.

“N-no. I was too absorbed in my reading. I heard the crash, though, and there was this huge pile of blue…armor, I guess it was, sitting beside him when I found him.” She had left out the part about him tackling her to the ground, partly out of embarrassment but mostly to prevent her friends from getting the wrong impression about the stallion. Arceus leapt off of the bench and landed bolt upright.

“My armor!” he cried in alarm, and made as if to gallop away. Twilight tugged his tail with her teeth and felt as if they were about to be pulled from her mouth as she tried to keep him from running off at a speed that secretly impressed even the sullen Rainbow Dash. The purple unicorn let go quickly.

“Arceus, wait! I’m one of the most powerful mages in Equestria, and my magic could barely lift the smallest piece! I don’t think it’s in any danger of being stolen!” The space marine stallion skidded to a stop, tearing up clumps of earth and grass as he did so, his mighty hooves digging into the ground.

“I suppose you’re right…but that armor is more than armor. Before I was sent here and assumed this form, that armor was like a part of me. No, it was a part of me. My vitals and everything were connected to it. It was like an extension of my body. I still marvel at the fact that it’s no longer attached to me.” Twilight shook her head softly.

“We’ll go check it out after lunch, okay?” she suggested. The big stallion sighed.

“Alright, then. But if any harm befalls my armor…I…I don’t know what I shall do. I can’t face the Chapter without it!”

“With all due respect, Captain, I believe that facing this 'chapter' of yours should be a secondary priority to finding out how you’re going to be able to get home,” Rarity said.

“If it’s even possible,” Rainbow Dash chimed in.

“That ain’t helpin’, Rainbow,” the previously silent Applejack chided.

“No, she’s right. We have no idea if I’ll be able to return at this point, but even so, it would put my mind greatly at ease to know that my armor were safe. Bearing that suit of armor was a sacred responsibility, bequeathed to me by a centuries-old code. I have carried it into many a fierce, bloody battle, and it has borne me safely to victory just as many times. Except…” he trailed off, lowering his head. Twilight gazed at him sympathetically.

“’Except’ what?”

“Except the battle that occurred before my arrival…was a defeat. I neglected to tell you all about it, because of my preoccupation with other matters. But now the memories are growing clearer. A great many of my brothers fell that day. But I suppose I must carry on in their memory, and do all that can be done to ensure that I find a way back to my universe, if this one is indeed apart from it.”

“That’s the spirit, Arceus!” Applejack encouraged. “We’ll talk to Princess Celestia ‘bout all this, and we’ll have ya back home ‘fore you kin say ‘apple-buckin’!” Rarity pouted a bit at the prospect of the handsome, well-built stallion leaving them so soon, but she nodded along with the others. Arceus turned about and smiled a genuine smile.

“Thank you all. I will not forget your generosity and kindness, even should I find a way to return home. You have all shown yourselves worthy of being my sisters, as admirable as any of my blessed brethren, Emperor rest their souls.”

“Arceus, who’s this ‘Emperor’ fella ya keep talkin’ ‘bout so much?” Applejack inquired. Arceus moved toward her and pressed a hoof to her lips, huddling close to her in a conspiratorial manner, looking around as if he were afraid someone were going to leap out at them at any moment.

“Shhhh! What if the inquisitors hear you? They will purge you all as heretics, or try to convert you by force, if you are lucky.” Rainbow Dash yawned and shook her head.

“Welp, I’ve heard all I need to hear. This pony is batty. Catch ya later, everypony!” she said, then shot off into the air like a multicolored streak of lightning before a word could be said in reply.

“What’s gnawin’ at her core?” Applejack asked curiously.

“I don’t know, girls,” Twilight replied, “but I get the feeling we ought to just leave her be.” All the ponies present nodded in agreement. “Now, how about we go take a look at Arceus’ armor?” They all nodded again, and lunch was officially adjourned.

Chapter II: Celebrations and Ceramite

The clip-clopping of many hooves against the ground and the flapping of a pair of wings sounded through the air as the group made their way toward the place where Arceus had mysteriously entered Equestria.

“I hope the poor dear’s armor is alright,” Rarity said softly to the purple mare trotting alongside her.

“I’m sure it’s fine. After all, nopony could possibly move…” she trailed off as they reached the clearing. Arceus was staring with a look of horror. Not because the armor he’d expected to find was damaged, not because it was moved, not because it was absent from its previous resting place, but because it was now somehow…decorated.

Streamers alit on the mostly polished, ornate blue surface, contrasting in tone with the blood of daemons which still stained the ceramite surface. A vibrant pink pony was humming to herself, bouncing around the suit of armor, her chaotic, frizzy mane and tail bobbing as she did so.

“Oh, I’m soooo excited for the girls to get here! We’re going to have a ‘welcome to Ponyville’ party for this big, weird hunk of blue metally stuff!” she spouted quickly in a bright, high-pitched voice. Before anypony could blink, Arceus was galloping toward his armor at top speed. The other ponies ran (or in Rainbow’s case, flew) after him as fast as they could, but the blue pegasus was the only one who could manage to keep up with him. Applejack followed closely behind, but Arceus and Dash far outpaced her.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no!” Twilight exclaimed. “I hope he doesn’t hurt Pinkie!” Much to the unicorn’s relief, however, Arceus came to a sudden halt in front of the now festive suit of heavy, otherworldly armor.

Unfortunately for Applejack, his halt was so sudden that she crashed right into his rump, which seemed to hurt her far more than it did Arceus. The space marine pony simply stood his ground, barely noticing the mare crashing right into his rear. Applejack sat there, dazed for a moment, before stepping back and watching the proceedings, ready to spring into action should her strength be needed for some reason.

“You, bouncing pink one! Step away from the armor this instant!” he bellowed loudly, instantly capturing said ball of boundless equine energy’s usually flighty attention.

“Oooooh! A new friend!” she exclaimed, bouncing straight up to him and landing with her face right in front of his, startling him for the first time since he’d arrived. He reluctantly gave ground to the strange pony, or tried to; she followed his backwards trek until his back was against a tree. “I’ve never seen you around here before! Oooh, I need to get the welcome wagon!”

Her former interest in the mysterious armor largely forgotten in light of the apparent newcomer, who sat completely bewildered in the shade of the tree he’d backed into, she bounced away, only to encounter her friends. “Oh, hi, girls! I’m on my way to get the welcome wagon!”

“I think that may be a little…much, Pinkie. He’s not from Equestria, and he’s very confused,” Twilight said, looking towards Arceus with concern. The battle brother turned pony sullenly watched from a distance as Pinkie and Twilight conversed.

“Oooooh, I see.” Pinkie looked thoughtful, contemplative even, as she put a hoof to her chin. Then, she brightened. “That’s okay! They say music’s a universal language, right? Well, I keep record-players stashed all across Equestria, in case of musical emergency!” She bounced towards the tree that Arceus was under, and pulled an archaic-looking phonograph out of a hollow in the aging oak, along with a couple of records.

“Pinkie, darling, please wait!” Rarity said, galloping up to her enthusiastic earth-pony compatriot. “Please, allow us to explain! Um…oh, dear.” Rarity and Twilight both quickly attempted to think of a way to get Pinkie to back off before things got seriously out of hoof. Suddenly, Twilight had it. In a flash and a magical “pop”, she disappeared, reappearing between Pinkie and Arceus. Pinkie had been making her way towards the built stallion, who was grumbling to himself while carefully removing the pink pony’s decorations with his teeth.

“This is heresy! Desecration! This armor is an ancient heirloom of my chapter, and now it is defiled with these strangely colorful trappings!” Resisting her instinct to lay a comforting hoof on his shoulder, Twilight simply spoke to Arceus.

“We’ll get it cleaned up…but first we need to talk our friend down.” Arceus turned and morosely nodded, sighing and plopping down heavily on his haunches. Pinkie seemed to be rather nonplussed.

“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight began to explain patiently, “Arceus came from…somewhere else. Somehow I don’t think he wants a party right now. But once you’re properly introduced, maybe we can all have one together?” Pinkie nodded in a rare, solemn moment, but was quickly bouncing in place excitedly.

“Okie dokie lokie!” Suddenly, the party pony stopped in mid-air, pausing there for a moment before landing gracefully on her hooves. The space marine eyed her warily, figuring this was some sort of strange witchcraft, but said nothing, even as she trotted slowly up to him.

“So, your name is…Ar-see-us?” She stuck out her tongue. “That’s borrrring. Let’s call you something fun! Like…Arcey! Wait, I’ve got it! Rainbow Dash is R.D., so how ‘bout R.C., just like those neat little cars you drive around with the remote and use to race and do tricks and stuff?! You seem really fast, so it totally fits!”

Arceus stiffened and looked as if he were about to protest, but Twilight shook her head.

“It’s best not to argue with her, Captain. You can’t win. Her very existence defies logic sometimes.” This elicited a sigh and a nod from the dour stallion.

“Ooooh, so you’re a captain? Captain of what? Do you have a fancy sailing ship? Can I ride on it? I love sailing, but I’ve only ever been once, well, twice really, but the first time I don’t remember really well cuz we were out on the waves and the big boat was rocking a lot and I got reeeeeeeeeeally sick and passed out but the second time was a lot of fun because we went fishing and even I caught some, but the captain got really mad and yelled at me because I started trying to juggle the fish and I lost control of them and one flew and hit him in the face! It was soooo funny!”

This entire tirade seemed as if it came in the space of one breath, but battle-tempered Arceus made it through with little more than an eye twitch, where lesser ponies would have been begging for mercy.

“I…see. Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I suppose…” he said, extending a hoof cautiously in Pinkie’s direction. She grabbed it and shook it vigorously, making even the powerful stallion’s taut muscles feel as if they were about to vibrate right out of his foreleg.

“Nice to meet you, R.C.! I’m Pinkie Pie! I’m Ponyville’s official party expert!” she said, and would have continued rattling his foreleg had he not snatched it away a few seconds ago. The pink pony didn’t seem bothered by this, and started to bounce around him in a circle. The captain followed her with his eyes but soon figured out the only thing this would earn him would be some dizziness. He snorted and walked toward Twilight, Pinkie bouncing excitedly after him.

“That went significantly better than expected,” Rarity said.

“You got that right,” Applejack replied, watching the scene unfolding before them. “I was afraid that Arceus fella was gonna buck Pinkie inta next week!” Rainbow Dash, who had been watching silently from her perch in the tree that Arceus had previously taken shelter under, yawned and casually examined a hoof.

“I still don’t trust him. I mean, do you honestly expect me to believe that he just popped out of nowhere? Puh-lease. Twilight can call it ‘magic’ or whatever she wants, but I’m not buyin’ it.”

“Rainbow, why is it so difficult to give somepony the benefit of the doubt?” Rarity inquired.

“Uh-huh. I see how it is. You like him, don’t you?” she said, grinning wickedly and pointing an accusatory hoof at her ivory unicorn friend. “I saw you at the café, trying to sweet talk him!”

“Now wait just an apple-buckin’ minute, R.D.!” Applejack exclaimed. “Ah’m the Element o’ Honesty, and I can pretty well tell ya that he ain’t been tellin’ us no fibs.” The cyan speed-demoness frowned down at her two friends, and shook her head.

“Ugh…you guys are hopeless. Don’t come cryin’ to me when he brings Ponyville all sorts of trouble. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a date with a nice, comfy cloud.” She dashed out of sight, leaving her usual vibrant rainbow trail, most likely to take her nap. Applejack shook her head.

“I’ll be darned if that mare ain’t the stubbornest, orneriest pony I ever did meet! It’s easy ta forget she’s an Element o’ Harmony like us, sometimes,” Applejack said with a sigh. Rarity smiled softly.

“She may be stubborn, but she’s just protective of us. She is the element of loyalty, after all. And true loyalty isn’t always easy to earn, even for well-intentioned ponies like our new friend Arceus.” Applejack nodded, recognizing the wisdom in Rarity’s words, and turned to see the aforementioned sturdy stallion standing in front of Twilight, Pinkie chattering seemingly incoherently and bouncing beside his head. That pony was made of sterner stuff than any of them, as he seemed as if he’d already learned to (mostly) tune Pinkie out at her most irritating moments.

“So, Lady Sparkle…how do we go about removing the objects that Pinkie Pie so kindly decorated my armor with? And what’s more, how do you suggest we move it all so that no other, uh, ponies get their han- I mean, hooves on it?” Arceus was obviously becoming accustomed to common Equestrian lingo, as difficult as it had been for him at first. His formal, stiff manner of speech was still very much intact, however. Twilight gazed at the hulking mass of foreign metal.

“Well…I suppose we could get some heavy equipment to move it, otherwise we’d need to move it magically, piece by piece, and that could be-“ she started, realizing mid-sentence that Arceus had already hefted what looked to be the biggest part of the armor onto his back and was laboriously moving toward town.

“I say, that stallion’s got the kind of muscles that would even put your brother to shame,” Rarity said quietly to Applejack. The orange earth pony merely stared.

“Eeeyup,” came the small reply. A violet glow enveloped the hunk of armor that was on the stallion’s back.

“Why didn’t I think of it before?!” came Twilight Sparkle’s excited voice. “All we have to do is cast a weight reduction spell on each piece, which will last long enough for us to get into town! Now, where to keep it…?” she pondered aloud.

“I have a spare storage room in my boutique I’d more than happy to let the captain use for his armor,” Rarity graciously volunteered.

“Great!” Twilight exclaimed. “Then let’s get started. Applejack, Pinkie, I’ll need you two to help Arceus carry everything. Rarity, help me focus magic on the whole pile so that the weight-reducing spell takes full effect. And Rainbow Dash…wait, just where is that pony?” she inquired, looking around curiously as all the others began going about their appointed tasks. “Oh well. She’ll turn up eventually…probably after we’re done,” Twilight muttered.

Well before sundown, all of the armor had been placed in the spare storage area of Rarity’s Carousel Boutique. Her little sister Sweetie Belle and her friends Applebloom and Scootaloo watched the proceedings with curiosity.

“He sure is a big fella, ain’t ‘e?” the younger Apple family sister said in awe.

“Yeah…you can say that again,” said the small orange pegasus known as Scootaloo.

“Well, why would ah say it again? Ah already did!” the small yellow earth pony complained to her friend.

“He’s ginormous!” the little white unicorn beside them exclaimed.

“Now, Sweetie Belle…be courteous to our guest. He’s come from…well, a very long way to visit Ponyville.”

“How far, sis?” Rarity’s inquisitive sister asked, looking up at her elder sibling with a look of youthful wonder.

“Mmmm..I’m not entirely sure. Geography was never my strong suit,” Rarity replied, hoping this wouldn’t prompt any more questions from Sweetie. Lucky for her, the little unicorn seemed to take her sibling’s reply at face value.

“Oh, okay,” she said simply, a little high pitched squeak in one of the syllables. The three fillies continued watching the stoic visitor curiously as he hefted a large hunk of strange metal into Rarity’s spare storage room and supervised the movement of the rest of it. Scootaloo nudged Sweetie’s side gently.

“Hey, Sweetie Belle…you think he’s moving in with your sister?” The other two looked at her strangely.

“What’re you sayin’?” asked Apple Bloom suspiciously. “That Rarity and this fella are…together?” The little orange pegasus merely smirked.

“Heh…maybe I am, maybe I’m not. But whatever. This is getting boring to watch. Let’s go do some crusading, girls! Maybe today’s the day we’ll get our cutie mark!” The other two fillies nodded enthusiastically and they all galloped out of and away from the boutique.

Twilight was panting a bit as the last piece of armor was placed in the storage area, and her formerly glowing horn went dim as she deactivated the weight spell. She sighed with relief and leaned against a nearby wall.

“Are you alright, Miss Sparkle?” asked Arceus with obvious concern.

“Oh, yes, I’m fine. Thank you, Arceus.” She trotted over to his armor and began to examine it, lightly rapping a hoof on it. “In all my years of study, I’ve never read about anything like the metal this is made out of.” Arceus walked over to stand beside her, his hoof-falls heavy on the boutique’s floors.

“It’s called ‘ceramite’”, he said. “It’s a special ceramic material. It’s not metal at all, actually. I know not of its origins. It may have been discovered in the Dark Age of Technology.” Twilight cocked her head.

“What’s the ‘Dark Age of Technology’?” she asked curiously.

“Humankind…that is, the race I belonged to in my world, once enjoyed a time of technological bliss. Then came peril that pushed that race to the brink of extinction, in what was called the Age of Strife. The ‘Imperium’ I keep speaking of was all the remnants of humanity spread out across the stars banding together in order to survive. Much knowledge was lost, and much of it may never be regained.”

As a studious and knowledge-hungry unicorn and as a compassionate pony, Twilight was saddened by what Arceus told her.

“I-I see. I’m sorry, Arceus,” she said solemnly. Arceus waved a hoof.

“It was long before my time, Lady Sparkle. Think nothing of it. It is not something you need concern yourself with now, and the distant past is the least of my own worries at the moment.” He left the boutique, silent except for the heavy clomps of his hooves on the floor.

“Who stuck a worm in his apple?” questioned Applejack as she came to stand beside Twilight.

“We were discussing his armor, and then he told me of his race’s tragic history…’humankind’, he called them. I guess the remembrance made him a little upset, and he’s trying not to show it.”

***

Rainbow Dash moved stealthily from cloud to cloud, peering down at the massive, wandering stallion. Even from up here she could make out his powerful, muscular form…

“Stop it!” she hissed at herself, moving to the cover of another cloud to keep up with his distance-eating, steady lope. ‘Man, doesn’t this guy ever get tired?’ she wondered to herself as she peered through the cloud canopy at Arceus. She had to grudgingly admit, his stamina was rather impressive.

“Hi!” came cheery voice from behind her. Rainbow Dash’s tail stood on end and frizzed out and she fell facefirst through the cloud she was standing on, landing on the ground with a thud. A gray mare with yellow eyes pointing in oddly opposite directions and a big grin on her face fluttered down to land in front of her.

The noise had of course caught keen-eared Arceus’ attention, and he turned to see what the ruckus was about. The gray pegasus was hovering over Dash, prodding her.

“Uh…are you okay?” she asked quietly. A low growl erupted from the blue mare who lay on the ground. “Oh, I guess that means you’re alright. Anyway, if you’re not hurt, I got some mail to deliver. Bye bye!” The mare flew up and off into the clouds, mailbag slung over her shoulder. Arceus trotted up to Rainbow, and gently nudged her with a hoof.

“Who in the Emperor’s name was that? And are you alright, uh, Lady Dash?” This got the rainbow-maned pegasus to her feet, albeit a little unsteadily.

“Don’t call me ‘Lady Dash’. It’s too…girly,” she said with a sickened expression while rubbing the new bump on her head. “Just call me ‘Dash’ or ‘Rainbow’, okay?” Arceus nodded slowly.

“Alright, La- I mean, Dash. Are you well? That looked like a nasty fall.” She was inwardly relieved he didn’t ask what she’d been doing up there, but she still didn’t rust him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. What were you doing, way out here? This road leads to the Everfree Forest! It’s dangerous in there. Nopony goes in there alone.” She eyed him suspiciously. “What were you planning?” Arceus rolled his eyes and sighed, rubbing his temples with his hooves. Finally he looked up at her again.

“Look, Rainbow Dash,” he began, “I know you don’t trust me. But if I wanted to do your or your friends harm, I could easily have crushed your skull as you lay helpless, and none would be the wiser. Do you see any witnesses?” he asked, gesturing around the large area. Just as he said, Rainbow was unable to spot another pony as far as the eye could see. She hovered up in the air, and still could spot nopony else. She landed gracefully in front of him and sighed.

“I guess you’re right.” He scuffed a hoof on the ground and looked away. “I’m…I’m sorry, okay? I guess you’re not a bad pony. But I’m warning you, I’ve got my eye on you. And you never answered my question. What were you going to do in there?”

“I’ve heard tell that there’s a witch of sorts who lives in this ‘Everfree Forest’. I wanted to visit her. Though I hate to suffer any of her ilk to live, I suppose she might be able to offer me some help in understanding how I got here, and how I can leave.”

Rainbow nodded.

“Yeah, that’s good thinking. Zecora may be able to tell us something.” She flew into the air and hovered above him. “Well, I’m going with you.” Arceus shrugged.

“Do as you will. Just try to keep pace.” He smirked and dove off into the woods, galloping at full pace. Rainbow smirked as well, soaring at a low height and top speed into the forest after him.