Mad Mad Polterpone

It's well known that humanity is a chaotic race. Oftentimes, humans find themselves a magnet for trouble. Some humans manage to be the subject of a number of Subreddits like Pro Revenge or Malicious Compliance. Others have multidimensional adventures. Humans are basically the cockroaches of existence… if there aren't any in your world, there soon will be.

As it happens, I'm one of the lucky misanthropes who enjoys watching humanity sow destruction and reconstruction upon themselves. Change is the way of life, one that must consistently be reinforced by natural selection. Hell, I agree with the sentiment behind "Okay Boomer." Tradition only carries you so far before it starts holding you back. And if you refuse to accept change that could be beneficial, and hold onto a flawed past that you thought was the best age, then people are going to start ignoring you. Without change, you quickly become obsolete.

But enough about societal problems. That's not what you came for. You'd like to know how I became the Mad Blook. To be completely honest, I don't really know where it began. It could have started way back when Undertale came out, it could have begun when I got my first phone number, or it could have even kicked off when I ordered a package off Amazon. But let's start at the interesting bit.

I sat there, staring at my computer. At the moment, there was only one thing on the display. My package tracking. Several hours ago, my package had deviated from its course to my house… I was concerned. I had spent nearly 500 dollars on that thing. And now my drawing tablet was sitting in some remote warehouse. I looked that place up a while back, when my package first got there. The search result was still on my phone screen. It hasn't been registered to anyone or anything for at least 50 years now. So my first thought was that it was stolen. The delivery guy wouldn't take it there, as the address didn't match mine in any way whatsoever beyond being in the same state.

I sighed in relief as I saw it start moving again. It only stayed at that warehouse for 3 hours. That's usually how long it takes to sort out a bad miscommunication. I think.

The next day, I awoke to the package arriving at my door, finally. It was a rather small package. My drawing tablet had arrived at last. But… curiously, there was a second package with it. I don't recall having ordered two things. I took both packages inside, and placed my drawing tablet package on the chair by my desk. The other package was pretty big, and had no labels on it. There was just a sticky note.

"A gift, from Discordant Multiverse." The note read. I facepalmed. Great, the creepy online stalker again. I thought I blocked that guy a month ago? Maybe this is his attempt at reconciling. Either way, I went ahead and grabbed a knife to start cutting both boxes open. Once I opened the larger unlabeled box, I peeked in. What I saw astounded me.

It was a large costume that looked like Mad Mew Mew from Undertale. The costume looked realistic enough that if I mastered voice acting, I could easily pass for the real deal. I took it out piece by piece, excited beyond belief. This was the one thing I'd been looking all over the internet for. I'd been wanting a Mew Mew costume ever since I saw her in the game. And now, I have it…

There was the other box though. Taking the knife, I slit it across the tape keeping the other prize from my grasp. Today was going to be a great day! Inside the box appeared to be a semi ripped mannequin. One just like the ones found in Undertale. More accurately, the one used by the Mad Dummy. It definitely had those jaw-like attachments. And it didn't look wearable. Chances were, I'd probably just tug it around as a prop or just leave it at home as like a trophy.

With that curiosity satisfied, I took the mew mew costume to my room, and started to change into it. I needed to make absolutely sure it fit. Once I had the costume on, I had to stop. I felt a wave of static pass through me or something, giving me goosebumps. I was always transfixed by this feeling. There was something different about this feeling though. It almost felt detached from me. Like I was feeling the goosebumps on something besides my skin.

While I was curious about this feeling, it's not like I had any real way to figure it out. The costume fit, so it was time to take it off.

Or, that was the plan at least. As soon as I got to the fake boobs I used, I was in for a shock. Somehow, they became real… which means I now had boobs. I was moderately freaked out, if only because I wasn't expecting this, so my hands shot to the spot between my legs. I felt a slit instead of my usual equipment. Which means I was now a girl…

Now, I feel like I need to explain the reaction that comes next. Not because I feel like anyone else may be curious but because I'm self conscious about how I really am. In short, I have an obsession for transformation. I've been reading way too many stories involving transformation to the point it almost consumed my entire life at one point. I had my parents to pull me out of that hole in particular, but I've never let go of the interest.

So when I finally got my wish… it was only with a frantic surge of maddened laughter that I fully explored every surface of my new body with my hands. My breasts, my hips, every curve, I was in a haze of sheer joy. A haze I only allowed myself because I was home alone. A deeper part of me recognised it as a mental breakdown, or symptoms of actual madness, but the bigger side didn't care. I got what I've been wishing for for the longest time. And being that I was now legit an anime girl, I went to my bathroom and struck a pose in front of the mirror reminiscent of Dio.

"I reject my masculinity, Jojo!" I collapsed against the counter from laughter. That small part of me was growing more concerned, but I was already too far gone. Everything about this appealed to my distorted desires. And there was no way I was ever going to look back.

Once I finished my laughing fit, I took a better look at myself in the mirror. My new tail swayed idly behind me. My pink wig wasn't really a wig anymore. And those massive bell props under my hair could actually ring. A look at my teeth showed me I really was feline like this, so I gave myself a short little "Nyan~" Honestly, I felt natural doing that, and could still recognise it as cute. So there was that, at least. And then there was my hands. It was odd… but underneath those gloves, I could feel claws.

A noise broke me out of my inspection. It sounded like air rushing through an opening. Turning around, I saw my dummy prop fall through a portal. An instant later, I no longer felt the ground beneath my feet. And then I did, but it was beneath my back instead and everything felt disgustingly wet.

"BWAHH!?" in a rush to get myself out of the wet stuff, I leaped to my feet, frantically swiping the liquid off me and my dress. After a second, I grit my teeth and looked around. What I saw caught me off guard. There were shadows everywhere. It was like all of my surroundings were made of liquid shadow. There was a purple hue to it too. It was like… an Umbral Void. I spotted my dummy nearby, and by instinct darted to it to pick it out of the pool of Umbral fluid flooding the floor. I held it close, like a treasure that needs to be protected. I'm not sure why. Maybe it was. But I was very afraid. I didn't know where I was or if I was safe here.

Then I saw light. Looking towards it, I saw a hallway. At the end of it was an orb of glowing light. The light made me feel safe. So I pursued it. It led me through several dark corridors, which seemed to have a number of wormholes littered about it. The light stopped in front of one of them, before passing through it. I jumped through after it, hoping I'd get answers.

Once on the other side, I found myself climbing out of the ground in the shadow of a building. Curiously, I glanced around at the town I found myself in. It was mid day, and I could see- wait a minute. Were those ponies? I stared at the pastel colored ponies for a long while. And after a short moment, a mint green pony stopped and stared at me. I hesitantly raised a hand in greeting. I could see intelligence in their eyes. So I could only assume they were sentient.

Much to my luck, the mint one returned my gesture. I noticed she was doing it with much the same uncertainty as I was. It was then I had an epiphany.

"This is a first encounter for both of us, isn't it?" I asked out loud. Saying that out loud got the attention of the mint unicorn's companion, a regular pony with a cream coat and pink and blue mane and tail. The two of them stared together until the mint one nodded. "...Well. This was an awkward meeting. You guys know anyone who might know a thing or two about extra-dimensional shenanigans? I kinda need to figure out how the heck I even got here."

The mint one blinks as this seems to get her mind jogging. She looks at her companion before raising a hoof in a 'lemme think' motion. After a moment, she answers. "Twilight might. If not, she probably knows how to find out. She's the lavender unicorn with a starburst mark. I think she was visiting her friend Rarity today, at the Carrousel Boutique. The name is pretty self explanatory, you can't miss it." She offered.

"Oh thanks. So a Carrousel repurposed as a boutique, huh? That should be an interesting place…" I depart, but not without spotting the unicorn giving her companion the smuggest fucking smile I've ever seen. I roll my eyes at that and head off to explore the town. Soon enough, I found the Carrousel in question, but there was a commotion from it.

Ahead of me were 6 mares. A rainbow maned cyan pegasus, an orange one with a cowboy hat, a purple unicorn with a lavender mane, a very very pink one with an apparent party animal personality, a rather shy looking butter-yellow pegasus with a cotton candy pink colored mane, and the five of them were bothering a rather distressed but fabulous looking white unicorn with a violet, and very well styled mane. For a moment, I was lost in the glorious image of the well styled one, until I saw her shout at the others, breaking down from pressure. I frowned as I approached, hearing her proclaim her shame about the edits her friends made her make to their dresses. And I felt something snap within me.

Rage flared. My sister was an artist. It was through her that I learned not to push an artist not to make edits they don't want to make. If a work is good, don't push for changes you would make to it if you could.

A lesson these ladies won't soon forget after that outburst. The white one ran inside, likely to hide in shame. And I took that as my cue to storm up to them.

"Is it… Really that bad?" I heard the rainbow one ask in doubt. Once I was close enough, I could see the dresses they each held. They were atrocious. They all looked like a child's concept of dresses. The rainbow one's dress looked more like prop armor fit for a costume party. The farm girl's dress looked like a kid trying to prepare for a rainy day, and failing even at that. The pink one looked like she was trying to invite predators with a sweet tooth to eat her! They were all terrible, words couldn't even express it! And all of it together made me snap.

"Horrible. Horrible! Horrible! How could anyone craft such abhorrent monstrosities!? No artist in their right mind could let such travesties see the light of day. Who is responsible for forcing these crimes against fashion into existence?" I demanded, rage coursing through me. The ponies gasped as they turned and saw me. The rainbow one glared back at me, matching my hateful gaze with her own distrusting one.

"Oh yeah? Who's askin'?" Her attitude really got me fired up. But as I go to answer, I'm met with a blank. This frightened me. You don't just forget your name. "Well?"

"...Good question." I answered. The admission that I don't know who I am shook me. And I could see the orange one saw that.

"Settle down, Rainbow. Somethin' ain't right here. And it ain't her that's the issue." She spoke up, trotting up to me. "You can't remember, can ya, sugar cube?" I shake my head as I refocus.

"No, but that's not a priority right now. Don't you have a friend to apologise to? You'd better hope she has the old ones from before these edits." I point out. The orange one looks back at the Carrousel Boutique, before looking at me.

"Alright. But you best expect we'll be talkin this out when we're done." She promised. I nod.

"I'd appreciate that. Now get in there." I prompt. The five of them warrily watch me for a moment as I sit down on the ground, watching them head in. I sigh when they vanish through the door, so many questions swirling through my head.

Things had been happening so fast, I hardly noticed that my mind had been affected by the changes. Normally I'm much more level headed… but somehow, I completely lost my cool on them. That made me wonder. Had I become Mewmew? Or the Mad Dummy? I took the dummy I'd been holding onto, and looked it in the face. Based on this being in my possession, I'd guess the latter. But if that was the case… then I was a ghost. Which meant I could possess things. Which meant I was currently possessing a doll. A doll with sexual organs. This revelation made my head spin. I was a ghost! This threw a number of possibilities into my mind, and with them came a flurry of emotions.

Eventually, I'd shake them out, and head into the boutique myself. I saw them all piled together in a hug, and smiled at them. I could also see beautiful dresses that seemed to match up with each of them. More than that though, I noticed there were a whole bunch of mannequins around here. A pegasus mannequin… a unicorn mannequin… a normal pony mannequin… There were enough here that I could substitute any as bodies.

This told me that the white unicorn here was the fashionista known as Rarity. Which meant that the purple one was Twilight. I looked back at them and waved.

"Oh right. I suppose we should introduce ourselves, then figure out how to help you out." Twilight said as she disengaged the group hug. The rest of them followed suit.

"I'm Rainbow Dash. Fastest flier in Equestria. And uh… while we're all apologising, sorry for… you know." The rainbow-maned one said. I nodded to her in acceptance.

"I'm Applejack. I run Sweet Apple Acres with my family. If yer ever hungry, you can stop by for a bite." Applejack offered.

"Thanks, but I'd rather pay for food. The hospitality is appreciated though." I answered. She nods in understanding.

"I'm Pinkie Pie. I'm known as Ponyville's own party pony! And as soon as you get a name, I can start planning a welcome party for you!" The pink one greets enthusiastically. I give her a smile.

"Ah, thanks! I prefer small parties. I'm not a big fan of large crowds, save for festivals." I tell her. She nods, accepting the input happily.

"Gotcha. Then I'll have to introduce you to ponyville in small installments. Shouldn't be a problem!" Pinkie noted. I turned to the butter pegasus next. She seemed to have trouble speaking up… Rainbow spoke up for her.

"This is Fluttershy. She's the go to when handling animals. She's pretty shy." Rainbow stated. Shy nods in response as she hides behind her mane.

"Ah. The name's pretty self explanatory. All of yours are, actually." I note. I then turned to Twilight, taking in her appearance. There was a starburst on her flank… "Twilight Sparkle?" I guessed.

"Hey, good guess! Though I suppose once you recognise the naming convention, it's not that difficult, huh?" She insightfully notes. I nod. Rarity then steps forth next.

"And I'm Rarity. I own this boutique, though if I'm honest, it's seen better days. If I may ask, however… what are you doing with that Mannequin?" Rarity asked. Once again, I hold it before me and look it in the face.

"That's a bit… Complicated. I'm still looking for the answers myself… but I can at least start at the beginning. Do you guys have a clear schedule today? It's a long story." I asked, feeling more self conscious than ever before. The six of them share glances, before Rarity's horn lights up, as well as a bunch of bean bags. Seems they were settling in for story time. I might as well, then. I guess I'll start with Undertale...